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Stress of life

Last night I went to bed very late, around midnight. The recall starts as usual at work, and then it unfolds into more complex known scenarios that are frequently dreamed. It gave me some clues to follow during my WL. I’m planning to do more RC’s while I’m at work in the first place. Then pay more attention when I start worrying about certain things. If I’m intending to have some LD for the competition!

…/As usual I’m immersed into arranging articles. This time, they’re toy trucks for kids under 3. They’re stout and have opaque colors. I’m putting another type of articles to the side of the group, something like video game cartridges or VHS tapes or some odd stuff that pulls my interest, they’re put into plastic bags. I take a look on the group of trucks once more, around 20 set in a square order.
I stand up and start walking down the yard of my childhood school, with big pines on the sides. Not sure about what I’m looking for, but as I keep walking down the place, I get into my university campus. There’s some people walking around in the whole place. It looks like I’m looking for a bathroom. While I keep walking down the pavilions, a lot of students start coming out of the classes. I turn around and start walking back my way. More and more people start walking in my direction, others just standing and talking. It looks like all of the classes ended at the same time. While I’m walking I see a small dog walking with the crowd. It’s a Pomeranian. The dog is looking at me while it quick walks at my left side. That funny walk as they’re smiling at you while they move. I make a gesture like I’m going to put my face closer to it. Somebody starts calling from behind. It’s a female voice calling a woman’s name. I guess it’s her owner. The dog stops for a while and starts walking again as I start moving. She’s calling her dog again. I make the gesture again to make it stop. The dog stops and I keep walking my way back to the upper layer of this place, hoping the girl got impressed with my super powers of being able to make an unknown Pomeranian stop walking.
I get distracted with a crowd of students standing in rows trying to get into some place. They’re matriculating for the next year. I have to do the same but have no idea what to do now. I didn’t get good notes. I start worrying about what’s next. How I was able to matriculate last time in certain courses if I didn’t pass the previous ones. I try to walk through the crowd but it’s impossible in certain ways.
I see a room to the right side. I get in and see a meeting of teachers sitting on a big table. I recognize some of my school teachers. The one from History is sitting looking at the table as he’s worried about something. They’re introducing themselves.
I get out and get into another room at a level some steps lower than the floor. There’s a big bed and somebody known is there. She let a bucket of yellow colored water fall on the side. I complain about it because it may ruin the articles. I’m at work again, I go to see what happened on that corner. I see a known carpet under the bed. There’s not much water there. I leave the place.
Out there I see a friend of mine getting inside a little store, he’s buying something, it’s a music album. It’s roughly packed and doesn’t look original. I get into the store too. On one of the sides, they’re selling music. I say they’re rough copies. Somebody answers yes they’re copies. I go out and tell S. they’re pirate. I ask her if we are still in the city we visited some years ago, she answers yes. Of course! I say, they’re pirates! I see G. proudly showing the CD, DVD? packed in a plastic bag with the printed album cover inside. It’s red and white, I cannot see the logo but I’m guessing it looks like Rigor Mortis first album cover. No way, it’s not original.
We start walking down the side walk, and I see a couple of food stands on the side. I see what they’re cooking on the frying pan, it’s something I didn’t have for a long time, one of my favorite meals! I tell her we should buy some and have it for today. The path turns into the street leading to my WL place. We’re getting into her car/…

Morning of May 9, 2020. Saturday. Dream #: 19,500-03. Reading time: 1 min 50 sec.

This dream occurred near the middle of my sleep cycle in a deeper state. I was surprised to find an article yesterday that claimed researchers have found what I had already known for over fifty years. It is that dream content tends to correlate with the depth of sleep (for example, less conflict in a deeper sleep and more social impositions in lighter sleep, the way my dreams have worked every sleep cycle, and the fundamental foundation for the waking transition and reticular activating system dynamics).

In this dream, there is no recall of my current waking life or the world’s status. I am in Alan Brady’s office, as on “The Dick Van Dyke Show” (that I have not seen or thought about for some time). The only characters from the television show in my dream are Jerry and Millie Helper.

I look in boxes on Alan Brady’s desk when I am not supposed to be here. It is a typical sorting dream, where I keep finding many different features over a long period. There are several packages and a manilla envelope as well as books (some science-fiction). There are several checks, but I do not think I could cash them, though I briefly consider it.

I find a small worn cardboard box with a piccolo used in a movie Alan Brady (Carl Reiner) starred. It has leaf motifs amateurishly painted on it (with thick paint) in various colors. The lip plate with the appearance of the Nutcracker soldier is missing. I first feel it (somatosensory phasing). (The situation is false memory from the “I Am a Fine Musician” act on “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” Mary Tyler Moore played the imaginary piccolo, and the four actors dressed as the Nutcracker soldier.)

There is a surveillance camera in Alan’s office in a corner near the ceiling. I move stuff around on his desk, but I sit on the floor out of its range at other times. When I put stacks of materials back into the largest box, I consider it is not the original way they were stored, but I am unconcerned.

I think of telling Millie Helper about the piccolo, but I do not. Still, Jerry and Millie do not seem to think I am doing anything wrong and remain cheerful. Looking at the carpet, I see a multi-colored splash of ink or paint in the form of a mandala. Although I am unsure whether I had caused the carpet’s changes, I start instinctually enhancing the somatosensory illusion. As I move my hand, I pull long strands of yellow yarn from the carpet, noticing narrow gaps revealing the floor. It is my usual liminality modulation, though horizontal instead of vertical, stemming from my sleeping position (my head being more downward).

---

In a room off from the bosses office, I am trying not to be heard. There is very little in the room and it is dark except for a window with the blind drawn letting in a little light.
The is an old white landline phone on the floor, the carpet is worn. I wake up.

I re-enter the dream and am lucid. I can see more in the room now, I look closely at the carpet which takes on the appearance of my parents carpet with an intricate yellow and brown (very 70s) pattern.
I try to alter the carpet but only succeed in drawing it out in a cuboid shape. I focus closer on a spot on the fabric but it does not change.
Thinking I should try something else, I go to the door. Open it and enter a corridor with no light except that coming from around the door frame of a door to the right. Entering this room in total darkness, I hear sounds from the kitchen in spirited away, loud and muffled. I make the lights come on and the kitchen changes into an apartment with low level lighting. I am disturbed by the waking world and awake.

D1 - Person meditating and everytime they stopped they would come out of blissful state and start being really sad so would desperately get back into trance lol.

D2 - Some kind of long escape dream. I am out in the wilds and being attacked by a savage wolf, I use my powers to project a laser beam from my finger tips through its head, just in time. It was right in my face literally. A load of survivors have some kind of explosion in there cabin but they are not hurt just woken up, even though it blew the roof off.

D3 - In Elizabethan in england I am being persecuted and there is some kind of trial with a lady in a powdered wig. I am being killed by being fed a biscuit with cheese that has poison on it. I manage to pretend to only eat some and escape. I am not happy and try to strangle poisoner there throat feels like a plastic tube, that i am about to break, so i don't.
On my computer I am trying to get rid of adware virus. I am then spyed again and chased. I run through a door onto a white staircase I jump and use anti-gravity powers to climb down the outside of the stairs. Its hard but I managed to get under a doorway and still on the ceiling I hide.
At this point I can feel it all getting very vivid, pressed against the ceiling I feel myself getting a semi lucid.

WBTB - I am annoyed at not getting lucid during competion

Fragment. I am half a sleep half awake, dreaming of kissing someone vividly

D4 - I am in a flea bitten room, an old house with lurid orange checked carpet and a white chair and wooden table and sofa and bookcase. Lucid I stare at the carpet, I remember that I only need to look and not think of changing it (as per hypnagogic experiences). The spot of carpet I concentrate on becomes a raised circle then a tube like toothpaste squeezed out. I am satisfied with this and then wildly think "I am lucid, quick what are the totm and competition goals". I can't remember new goals only last compettion one of bringing someone into your dream from other team.
I think of Elaineylane but can only picture her arty green avatar pic and not what she looks like. Then I remember what I think she looks like, its not right at all I realise afterwards.
She appears on the chair at the table. I rack my brains to think of other tasks then get sidetracked as a woman starts giving me a bj, its nice but I draw my thoughts away and stop. I need to remember more goals. Shit I come out of dream.

D5 - I go straight back into dream only this time carpet is blue checked. I lay near carpet and try to change it but as i'm forcing nothing happens (I don't realise till after).
I remember and rub my hands over surface of carpet and table top to stabilise, as I don't want to pop out of this dream to soon. There is someone else in the room in an arm chair but i am drawn to the large old tv by the window.
I grab the remote and after a few flicks, switch on the tv. There are very nice Oo woman in black lycra.
Making them appear out of tv doesn't work so I touch my hands to the screen and pull.
Unfortunately as I am forcing they get stretched out of shape and look just plain weird. They are quite deformed now poor things and not sexy at all with different shaped body parts, some huge some spindly.
I look to the window, it is white framed and double glazed. I pull it open and am transfixed for a while by the layer of this plastic that has been left on the window (from when it was bought)
It makes the glass have a very green irredesent tinge with an oily rainbow round the edges.
Clambering up onto the ledge, I see that outside the window is a floating stall. Up above the street below, we have loads of kitchen cabinets and things suspended by magic in the air for punters to look at.
I clamber up among these and look down at the bright sunny street below, full of lots of passers by.
A feeling from a previous dream that I will be grabbed before I can start flying fills me. I push off from next to a cabinet and sure enough someone grabs at my shoe. After a few seconds I free myself but am throw off course. I fly up above the street then land down on the pavement.
I summon someone and a russian lady in a white raincoat appears, she has black hair with a scarf.
We teleport to a shopping centre (how romantic) and I start to make out with her but very soon get bored with the sex feeling its a waste and wake up out of the dream.

Crazy!

The first dream was pretty scary.
I was back in Czech in my room. There was someone else there with me, I think it was Krzia. All of a sudden, in noticed that the carpet is rising at one point and it is taking shape of a person in a baby position (on his/her knees). Obviously I freak out and start punching the bump, start jumping on it etc. Somehow I know it is a demon. I managed to press it back to the floor. Then it happens again. I punch it back in again. Then, there is some kind of doll house. It starts moving or shaking. I know that it is another demon getting through. I lift the roof of the house and I see a face of a woman. I start jelling at it, punching it and jumping on it to push it back to the floor. This repeats several time. I call my parents to come and have a look. I cannot remember what happens after, but I have a feeling it stops and we find an explanation to it.

The next dream.

I am in Czech going home from Jablonec and I am at this particular rising road at the edge of my village by the skying slope. The road is in fact made of water and I am swimming home. I see myself. As I watch myself swimming as if I was filming it, I see a small boat in front of me and somewhere around is my sister and my mum. They spot a shark like fin. I go with my camera view under the water and I see it is a killer whale. It wants to play or communicate. Somehow I know that it can sense what I think, so I am calming my mind, and in fact I feel very friendly towards it. It swims around me, nudges me few times, sometimes a little bit rough which pushes me under the water. The killer whale is getting excited to play with me, but it is becoming a little violent. I decide it is better to continue swimming and ignore it.

I then get out of the water and see Martin Janda, my old class mate. He must be living in my village too. He has some trash that he wants to throw away, but is complaining to himself that there are not trash bins around. Then we get to the bus stop near central pub, and there is a notice board with hundreds of flyers and notes arranged in a cascade like manner. I am not happy that he lives in my village as I never liked him.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #235: Plush

I'm walking through an opulent hotel room, excitedly considering the idea of lucid dreaming. I take a moment to consider the idea that I'm having a lucid dream right now… and realize that I am!

I'm standing on a fancy rug, looking through the marble-floored living room out of a picture window that offers a view of the sky. There's another hallway further on and I see a couple of DCs milling about. I want to see what's outside of the room, though, so I open the door to the hallway outside of the room.

Before stepping through, I think to get myself really pulled into the scene by plunging my fingers into the plush rug. I love the way that it feels on my hands, so I dive into it face first and give it an experimental lick.

I crawl out into the hallway on my hands and knees, and the carpeting out here is just as plush and and nice as the rug. There's a group of children playing out here, all of them in the 6- to 8-year-old range. "I'm having a lucid dream!" I explain. One of the girls giggles.

I turn away from the kids and crawl down the hall, delighting in the feel of the carpet. I faceplant again and enjoy the feeling of my tongue on the carpet as I move forward like a snowplow.

I hear the kids laughing behind me and I get up, turning to look. All of the children are trying to imitate me, crawling along on the carpet feeling it with their hands or licking it. I say something like, "You don't really have to do that in a lucid dream." I wonder if I'm teaching them to emphasize the wrong stuff in their own lucid dreams. I move away from them down the hall and the dream ends.

After a WBTB with only a vague fragment about work from before, I went back to bed.

I woke up and it appeared that while I was sleeping my husband set up this great wooden train track for the kids as a surprise, and it was well received only my younger son was there to ooh and ah. My husband had also used Christmas lights, awesome. He said to open the shutter to where my orchids were to see more lights there. I opened and there were no lights, but it was amazing how many critters had come out over night: there were slugs and millipedes among my orchids and I was fascinated not concerned. Then I saw the large fish swimming through the air among the orchids, and I thought in wonder. "I am dreaming!" I tried to put my finger through my palm to RC, and as I tried but did not complete the RC I watched and the fish then faded into thin air, but so did my dream.

I was awake, but I thought no problem, I can DEILD right back.

I thought it failed, and so I considered myself awake when I found myself outside a house I considered my own in this dream. It was a dark night. I was excited about having had a lucid, so I danced outside with joy. I think this is when I realized I was dreaming, but I may have it confused. I remember that sometime in this dream I transformed dark into light very bright light but I do not recall whether this was here or later. I reached the front door, and there was this woman there who wanted to talk to me. I knew she was not real, so I was not concerned when she held on to my arm and started talking. I said "Dream character, begone." and I held out a palm of my hand toward her face as I said it. But instead of being gone she started chirping like a bird and transformed into a young man still holding onto my arm. I did not want to stay with him though, so I started flying. As I flew the landscape transformed underneath me. I flew above an ocean, and then above a town (I now recall the town looked kind of like made out of blocks). First I flew myself, but then I discovered a flying carpet underneath me. I was fine with that. I know some of the flight was at high speed but then I slowed down to enjoy the sights.

I woke up and my husband wanted to talk to me, and I said not now I need to find my phone to record this awesome lucid dream. He was nice enough to leave the room, but my younger son came in and wanted something from me. I was searching for my phone in vain and getting more and more frustrated. Finally found the phone.

And that's when I actually woke up. I double checked this time with a reality check. Ah it was not another false awakening! My husband was asleep, and I found my phone without trouble in reality this time. I wrote the lucid down. It was an awesome lucid and very vivid. Part of me wonders whether I forgot anything that happened after the flying carpet - I think there may have been a bit more to this lucid. But I am not going to let that worry me. Yay, lucid!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #207: Christmas in April

I’ve joined up with a bunch of other people and rented a blue-carpeted condominium. There bedroom of this condominium houses the entrance to a vast cave system and we crawl downward to explore it. I have to do sort of a funky sideways roll to slip under the entrance.

The cave’s well-lit, but I start feeling claustrophobic. I turn back to make sure that I can easily get out and I’m shocked to find that when I execute my little sideways roll to escape, that I just barely make it out. This means that in only a few seconds, the entrance has gotten shorter! I warn the others that the entrance is closing but they ignore me.

I relax against the wall and for some reason start imagining that my hands are moving. I’m surprised to see my hands really are moving. I can’t believe how vivid my imagination is and I think If my imagination is this good, it’s like being able to lucid dream any time I want! And then it occurs to me that I’m dreaming right now.

I dig my fingers into the thick, blue carpet for a moment and then stand up, rubbing my hands and arms together. I move slowly, relaxing and letting the dream continue as I explore the apartment. I move through a total of four rooms, studying the layout and furniture of each as I pass. I recognize the den from the non-lucid portion of the dream and it’s almost entirely unchanged from before. I walk a quick circle around the wooden coffee table, confirming that the scene and all of its contents are unusually stable.

It concerns me that I seem to be stuck in just one type of scene so I move for the wall and phase through it. The phase is quick and I end up outside at night in the front yard of my house. I try to remember goals, but they just won’t come. I really focus on this for a moment but I feel the dream starting to wobble and destabilize. Back to some arm-rubbing, and I forget goals for now.

I look west down the street. Everything looks realistic but it’s way too dark. I turn around, think There’s some light behind me, and then spin back around to face west again. About two blocks down, I spy a lone Christmas tree festooned with lights. I’m pleased by this, and I try to just let this idea flow. Soon there are lit Christmas trees in front yards all up and down the street. Looks like my darkness problems are solved.

I head west to the end of the block then turn south. It looks like my street for a bit but as I continue it transitions into something more like a crowded outdoor mall. DCs bustle back and forth, and just as I’m passing a wooden bench and a free-standing sign that looks like a mall directory, I see a teenage boy and a smaller kid of about 8 (his little brother?) walking past. The older brother tells the younger, “Don’t worry about them. All these people have never done a goddamn thing for you.”

Again I get the desire to remember my goals. This time I really push for them. I dig too deep, though, lose focus on the dream, and am too late to save it before it ends.

Last Nights Lucid Dream

I feel vibrations after I wake up and I decide to will myself out of my body. I now hear my 2 girls in my bedroom and as my dream self gets to the bedroom door I see L giving S a piggy back. I say "L, can you see me?" She says "no" and shakes her head as if I've gone mad! I say to her "I'm dreaming, look". I now touch her sides and say "can you feel that?" L now says "yeah, but only because you're not dreaming!" She now looks at me again and says "you're awake".
I'm floating, but because of what my Daughter said I wonder if actually I'm REALLY standing on the landing in my real body, I think "I wonder if I'm real and something in my brain is telling me that I am dreaming and making me feel like what is real is actually a dream!" ((I feel like I'm going mad at this point))
I now see my other Daughter S in her room and L now goes downstairs. I now think "nah, I must be dreaming" and I go into S's room. I lie down on the bedroom floor, but instead of actually lying on the carpet, I'm floating just above it in a lying position.
I say to my Daughter S "look S...it is a dream because I'm floating. I now float across the bedroom floor to show her. I say "I couldn't float like this if it was real could I?". My Daughter watches with fascination and says "you are dreaming, it must be a dream!". I now wake up in real life while still feeling small vibrations going through me.

Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm flying through a large, rectangular, exhibit-hall-like space with an entryway connected to one end of it. Every time I make a complete loop through the exhibit hall, out into the entryway, and then back into the exhibit hall again, the scenery and displays in the hall have changed. While I'm flying through the entryway after a couple of iterations of this, I catch on to the fact that I'm dreaming.

I remember that I need to stabilize and ground myself in the dream, so I will myself to go down. I sink straight down, in an upright position, until I'm standing on the floor. I immediately walk over, reach out, and touch one of the walls, then squat down to touch the carpet. The thought of licking the floor to bring in that sense crosses my mind. [I was reading a thread on DV before I went to bed that mentioned engaging all five of your senses in a dream.] I decide not to, but thinking of things you should do in a dream brings to mind the current Task of the Month: spell “November” backwards.

While still squatting down, I start tracing the shapes of the letters on the carpet with my finger. R...e...b...m...e...v...o...n. I get all the way through it, and feel very proud and pleased with myself. I feel just as alert and self-aware as I do in waking life, but I notice that it's slightly more difficult to keep track of the letters and what order they go in than it would be if I were awake. Then, I suddenly find that I have a ballpoint pen in my hand [a plain black Bic pen with a grip, the exact same kind I'd just been using in real life to do my homework for a class]. I take the pen and print “Rebmevon” on the wallpaper on the nearest wall. It's still a little hard to focus on spelling. At first, I write an “e” in place of the last “o,” but then I cross it out and correct it. I write it a second time [I think] because I can, but then I think, Okay, now you're just doing it to be a smartass.

[There was more, but I only have time to write the part that has to do with the Task of the Month right now.]

Date: 29/06/2012
Place: Friend's sofa bed
Time of getting into bed: 11.11pm

I had terrible problems writing these dreams down, my memory was terrible, my notes were short and made no sense. I vaguely remembered having trouble writing them down in the night. Perhaps because I have stopped taking B6 tablets? I will start again tomorrow and see if my dream recall improves.

Dream 1 - non lucid

Friend R and myself got to R's house after being somewhere. We are sat in his living room, discussing his carpet and debating weather to change it or not. There is an advert somewhere in this dream (on the telly maybe?) for a band that is playing a gig in Thailand.

Dream 2 - non lucid

I am staying at the house of an incredibly rich person, who has a large garden / acres of land. I'm walking around the house, we are guests, and I think it is a party. I get in the jacuzzi, or some sort of similar water with a floating tea set, (with tea inside) The owner of the house is present. There is some sort of secret meeting.

Dream 3 - non lucid

The first half of the dream is missing, I didn't write it down fast enough and forgot it. My mum is sunbathing in the garden, on a brightly coloured deck chair. There is no sun. My brother is also outside, cooking sausages on a BBQ, he is wearing nothing but an apron and is using a dustpan (like dustpan and brush) to cook with. He is also singing loudly. I sit inside the house with my dad, watching TV. It is some sort of documentary about people at a party, all the people are fat. I am waiting for someone I like to come on the TV, my dad tells me 'The south is dry heat, so you can never get sunburnt here.' I tell him I have been sunburnt before, and he says 'you have gone pink, you can never get sunburnt.'


***NOTEWORTHY***
R is decorating his house at the moment.
I went to Thailand a year and a half ago
Watched a film about a rich gangster before going to bed.
My mum loves to sunbathe

I am in a house, it's a tatty old house, it's quite big but it's old and not decorated inside, it's also quite dull and dingy. I am with a bloke, it might be my hubby but I'm not 100 percent sure but I do know he's my partner in my dream....Yes it's my hubby, I just remembered anyway....we have to sell our house and me and my hubby are getting everything we can to take with us, well we're looking anyway but we haven't really got anything lol. I suddenly remember about the blood on the carpets upstairs, I'm not sure what the blood is from but I think it may be from us murdering someone! We are both rushing and I say to my hubby "hurry up, they will be here soon!" I run upstairs and look at the manky brown carpet on the landing and I can't see the blood. I kneel down and pull the carpet up to see if the blood has soaked through to the floor boards but it hasn't. I go downstairs and see blood dripping from the ceiling, I now panick because I know if the people moving in see it we will get caught, I'm petrified! My hubby shouts "quick..there coming" he comes to get me and I'm crying, he says "what's up?" I say "I'm really emotional..I love this house so much and I don't want to leave it" then I wake up.

I'm still having a little difficulty remembering my dreams. Still trying to get to the bottom of it.

In my first dream, I'm in a large room, watching people who are laying down and rolling back and forth over blankets that are laying on the floor. Somebody is wanting me to do it also, which I don't mind doing because in my mind, I know the people are "doing it wrong" and I want to show them the right way. I lay down on a blanket and roll across it, grabbing the edge of the blanket and pulling it to me so that it wraps around me as I roll. I go first in one direction, then the other.

In my second dream, I remember just a tiny fragment. I'm in the water or on a small piece of ground just above the water, looking up at the cliff of a huge land mass right beside me. There are also pieces of earth or land floating in various places in the sky. In my mind's eye I see a big picture of the land mass and pieces and notice that they're placed so that they create a large geometric design. I realize that my only escape is up, so I fly up and carefully thread my way through and around the land mass and floating pieces.

Lucid: green
Nonlicid: blue
Notes: black

Vividness: 3/5
Lucidity: 0/5

Ok, for some reason, I was spongebob squarepants. I still looked like myself, but everyone called me spongebob. I was inside a building with Patrick, which was a huge tower with a slide at the top. All of the walls were covered in blue carpet. Patrick kept going down it but I wanted to make a shortcut in the wall so I didn't have to keep walking up. I made a hole in the wall by the base and one at the top of the tower. I tried to go through the hole thinking I'd be at the top but I was in this empty room with a wooden floor. The floor shattered into pieces and I fell down. That's all I can remember, but I'm sure there was more past that.

Sadly only the last fragment was recalled despite the same efforts as the night before...

I saw a blond sitting on a gray shag carpet in front of a fireplace. She was wearing a bright red shirt and her legs were tan and beautiful. Out of the fireplace was pouring thick dark smoke that was moving straight up in a column. No fire was visible. She was posed elegantly and I had the impression this was a photo shoot.