All DJ Entries

My mother is home to help me move in on campus and woke me up this morning going on errand. I was wide awake, but my body felt hot and heavy, almost prickly with sleep. I rolled on my back, went through my lucidity check-list and back to sleep.

I'm dreaming, but not really involved, I feel like I'm floating close to my body. I walk across my house to my mother bedroom and idle a little there, wondering. Then I walk in her closet and close the door behind me. I'm trapped between her clothes and the door, but I can reach the side. I feel my way up the wall, I can't see a thing but I feel the clothes against my back and my breath pushed back to me by the closed door. I find a switch and hit it. The whole closet shake, then I feel it going down like a lift.

Now I'm interested. The doors slide open and I get out in a brightly illuminated room, the floor is linoneum and the walls painted white. There are at least three other lifts, with steel doors. No windows, I'm underground. There is a small group of people in this room, all around twenty and casualy dressed. Some of them carry backpacks, and I remember the underground rooms of my highschool. They're start to walk out, and I follow. The floor has a gentle slope upward, and we reach a double open door going outside. This place is a gigantic highschool I dreamed of before. Today it's daytime and overcast. The grassy area are neatly cut, the paths are carefully gravelled and the cement between them painted white. I know that if I turn around, I could see the impossibly tall buildings, with big, round windows half covered by wavy adornements, steel painted white; if I look on my left, I could see the topiary. But the DC keep walking. One of them is standing out from the group: He isn't anonymous, a faceless form here to be set dressing. He wears the face of someone I dislike: a brown haired, fair skined, slightly overweight young man that used to go out with one of my friend before cheating one here with a coworker. Still, he is different. I follow his along the path, and as he walks I wonder.
I lag behind, and he meet up with other men around a cart; at least three of them are gardeners, the last one is crouching a little on the side, his face away from me. I stare at him a feeling of familiarity growning.
"Eli!"
I call him out and he look up and smile. His hair are a little longer, he is less groomed that usual, but he stand up and I run to him with wings on my heels. I jump in his arms and he hold me tight. I scramble to wrap my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck; he hold my waist and my hips to keep me here. He is warm and feel solid and real. He bury his face in my hair and I almost feel him smile. I laugh and marvel at the feeling of the hair on the nape of his neck against my hand, of his light stubble against my cheek. I twist around to look at the DC that lead me here and jockingly tell him that he has a lousy taste in face. He laughs and tilt his head down, his face growing briefly pointed and almost goat-like, with strongly slanted eybrows and weird pointed strands of hair on each side of his head. He throw his head back and it's back to what it was before, but not exactly; there's something lurking there, a intelligence and some humor. He asked me: "How it is with ten more years?"
He do look older, but Still. I laugh, still clinging to Eli. Eli laugh to, and walk backward. I squee and he let go of my waist to slip both his hand under my thights. I push us away from the trashcan he was walking us to with my right foot, and see that I'm wearing cute black suede shoes with my black thigh-highs.

My mother come back home, waking me up again. I woke up still giggly and happy, Eli delighted.
I wonder who, or what was this DC. And why he wore this face, obviously like a mask...

Mama was talking on the phone to one of her friends--or perhaps in person to someone else--about how she had always hated the thought of imaginary friends. They had always made her uncomfortable, and I knew for sure I could never tell her about Augustus, my tulpa (not that I had particularly wanted to, anyway). Augustus was standing beside me, but of course I was the only one to see him.

[There is a point in the dream, right here, where I feel like more stuff was going on but I cannot remember what it was.]

I was trying to eat me a snack before Dakota and Jon got home from their trip to their mom's/cousin's/whoever's, and I know that the snack I was trying to eat was a sandwich. I think it had two balogna slices on there and a lot of mayo--or at least that's all I can remember. I ate it in the kitchen by the microwave and watched as dozens of roaches scurried every which way. I heard their car doors close outside but didn't try to hide the sandwich, and then they came in.

Mama was sitting on the couch in the living room and listening to "our" adventures at the place they had went to. Apparently Dakota and Jon had taken "me" with them (though I didn't remember that at all--was it a clone, perhaps, or had I just sort of "switched" into a new dream character?). They said that Dakota's mom and her boyfriend had started off cool and said that they were going to make Halloween "all about me," [as in me, and not her--I'm not sure why Halloween would be all about me haha] but after that they just sort of left and did their own thing. Apparently everyone there was pretty crappy, too, and Mama said that she could tell everyone there just sucked.

Later on, the two of them were in my bedroom, and I think they were about to smoke pot. They opened my door and set a chair at the entrance, and then proceeded to try to barricade us in by placing numerous blankets on there (including the small red one that they had used in real life for a while, and my black one with white and gray). In hindsight it didn't make sense; why do that when you could just close the door?

Dakota and Jon were talking about a television show that they had seen over at the place they had been. It was apparently based off a bunch of kids at a law school and lasted an hour long. The acting sucked--or at least that's what I thought they were getting at. They said "the gays sucked, the lesbies sucked, the trannies sucked, everybody sucked." Despite that, Dakota had apparently attempted to watch all of the episodes, but he was only able to catch one.

Romeo sort of crawled under the blankets and chairs that blocked off my doorway from the hallway, and when Dakota seen that and looked at him he said, "I like it when Romeo walks around like he cares about himself," or something like that.

Dream 1: I dreamed something about either the car crash I had the other day, or something to do with it.

Dream 2: It was the end of the world, and I was Harry Potter. The dream seemed to take place at my old school, and it was at night. We (students, teachers, Order of the Phoenix, etc.) had just defeated someone--presumably Voldemort and the Death Eaters. This was a much more wide-spread defeat, however, and there were quite a few Death Eaters that had gone to our side. At one point we were all running across the school, and some were hopping in their cars. We all had to meet up over there to "finish the job." I seen Lucius Malfoy, who had been one of the people to join us, running, yelling, "I can't believe he didn't believe me!" He said it joyfully.

Remus Lupin was a distance behind him in his car, and he was also happy. He slowed down as he came to me and said, "I've asked at least twenty-one people if they're really on our side." He then asked me if I wanted to catch a lift with him.

"Nah man, I'm just gonna run," I said (keep in mind that this is Harry Potter, also).

I did run. Fairly fast. Just under thirty miles-per-hour.

There was definitely more to this dream than I can remember.

I know that we (Dakota and I) were outside of the trailer park. The place seemed to be a bit more popular than what it actually is, and I think the vice principal of my old high school was in the trailer closest to the road. He was sitting out at the side, on his porch (which doesn't actually exist) when we walked by. I remember that the stars seemed to be doing something strange . . . I believe there was a very detailed constellation of a little girl in the general area that Orion is at these mornings.

I'm sure that we were causing some manner of mischief, but I don't know what.

After that, at some point I was on either this site or tulpa.info, and someone (a member called Fede, I believe) was talking about lucid dreaming.

Side note: I'm very glad that I dreamed about lucid dreaming! Even though I'm really only shooting for LDs during the weekends, I'll be more than happy to have them on the weekdays, too. I had four hours of sleep, so perhaps I should take note of that.

Dream I:

There's very little that I can remember from this dream, but Dakota and I were at another house. I believe that we lived there together. Anyway, there was a fire up above--it's very difficult to explain, but we could see the fire because it was like the first level of the house had a porch and so did the second, and you could see the second porch from down on the first. There was even a ladder to get to it. As I was saying, there was a fire up top, and when he and I noticed we began working to extinguish it. It was very isolated, though, and although we knew it could spread it wasn't at the time. I believe we did end up getting rid of it.

Dream II:

Either I was playing a video game or the dream was like a video game, because the objective was to save the king by defeating these levels.

Throughout the dream I was somewhat conscious of my tulpa, Augustus, and I think I was wishing that I knew someone else who had a tulpa of their own. That being said, I couldn't afford much attention to Augustus because I was a knight for His Majesty, and it was imperative that I be the person to reach and save him before the others.

Most of the levels were very easy, because although the enemies were shooting at me I was protected in some sort of vehicle, and therefore I was able to kill them off before they were able to do the same to me. On the last level, however, I was without any form of protection, and so they shot me several times. I died, but I kept trying again (which is why I think of this as a sort of video game) until I finally shot and killed all of them.

Then, finally, I was near the king. He was at a Chunin Exams sort of place, and all of us (the knights) jumped out and tried to reach him first. I know that the rest of them were Naruto characters, but the only one I definitely remember was Tenten, who was dressed in more of a masculine style from the Renaissance era.

She got to him first and somehow stopped the oncoming attack--I don't remember how. I remember that the king--who was a bit pale, with sort of longish hair that came to his shoulder blades--looked bewildered, totally confused. I remember feeling a bit of fear, because I wasn't the one who got to him first (what would he do with me?). But the king was just fine and amiable, and he did not hate anyone for not getting to save him. I suppose he was too grateful for Tenten to be hateful!

After that, Tenten and I hung out a bit. I knew that she said she had a tulpa, but I wasn't sure if I believed her. I remember her cooking for me, though; I think she was trying to show me how to make something. Fire rose from the pan, and I had the distinct impression that her tulpa was right behind her, and I believed her.

Morning of December 23, 2013. Monday.



I have decided to place this dream into the “I have no brain” category, along with a much older one I have already written on where I used a digital sampling keyboard to play a special affirmation - and when it worked and I went into an extremely vivid, lucid dream, I spent the entire dream trying to find the source of the real-life sound to turn it off so that I could continue with my dream… It takes a very “special” level of futility regarding such experiences. However, I do now use certain types of audio with self-spoken special affirmations (when I choose to - I still prefer trying to hold mental states without any aid or “tools” of any kind to get ever stronger in that department - tens of thousands of times more powerful than what appears to be mostly a nonsensical placebo effect with so-called i-dosing and binaural beats, which is basically fraud for the amazingly gullible) that produce extremely precise visual and physical patterns within hypnagogic states (what people fail to understand is that it is about specific word phrasing - not a particular sound, frequency, or “beat”, which is rather absurd as the brain does not work that way - if it did, most of humanity would be controlled by random birdsong and other sounds) - something which mostly no other person (relative to commercial products), that I know of, knows anything about (other than my wife and a few select friends from my past) - which can only be a good thing.

One of my last dreams (“Agates and holograms”) had an additional layer of composite precognition (in addition to my wife actually having looked at new holograms at the mall without my knowledge), as most do at one level or another - and is so common, it often goes unnoticed or “unremarkable” and thus not written about even in summary (although I am trying to break that lifelong habit) - as precognition and highly detailed prophetic consciousness has been a continuous day to day driving force in my life since just prior to birth. In this case, the additional precognitive element of that dream involved my brother actually posting a series of photographs on Facebook, on my own timeline (as in my dream), for the first time ever, even though we have both been on Facebook for years. One of the images was me at around age five playing with a husky (supposed wolf-hybrid, apparently) - and another, a bit older, sitting at a table with a large open stamp album. When the real-life event unfolded much as in my dream, the link did not even come to mind until later - which should be a hint as to how common and “normal” precognition is for me. It is much like breathing or food digestion in my opinion.

Anyway, on to this dream. I appear to be at a computer in some sort of chat room (which I have hardly ever been on in real life in my lifetime), but the overall look is similar to a group-type page as on Facebook and the messages from the sender (account-holder) appear as stylized windows with various fancy writing in as opposed to just straight lines of text - although the one responding (in this case, me) sees their own messages appear as mostly just lines of text. I appear to be engaged in conversation with a younger female tulpa (I do not actually see her at any point even on the screen) regarding potential healing sessions, musical ideas, gags about “normal” humans, mental development, and so on.

In a short time, I notice that a large thinner section of skin has separated from the back of my hand; fully, evenly, and perfectly. The back of my hand has a large and perfectly circular wound that looks much like watermelon (without the seeds). However, it does not hurt much. The tulpa tells me that if I hold the skin that came off over the wound that my hand will go back to normal in a short time. This does not seem to work, though. I have a thin white square piece of cloth by which the circular section of skin sticks to the cloth and will not stay attached to where it was separated from. I am not quite sure how she knows about my problem and do not remember actually typing such a message, and what comes next is rather futile. (In real life, only after waking, not prior to sleep, I did notice how a very small circular wound on the left side on my right pinkie was causing that small area to be a bit sore).

A seemingly second message (after the coherent one regarding what to do about the wound - which may have come about as a result of weeding) appears onscreen that is mostly made up of “baby words” - that is - the kinds of nonsensical phrases that an adult says to a baby to “entertain” them or get their attention. I make out some of the pattern, which appears in a highly stylized window with a floral theme, as something like “coo coo fizzle fitz coo coo gooey fitz oh my goo goo foo foo fitz fizzle” or very similar. I am not quite sure what to make of this. I try to type a response, but all that comes out is random letters, apparently because my hand is wounded.

I send about half the messages I type, but give up on half because there are too many random letters interspersed with the intended words. Most sentences, I attempt to type correctly several times over. After about ten minutes of not being able to focus enough to get any words correct, I receive the message, “Are you still there? I am waiting. "I simply cannot type because of my "injured” hand, it seems.

So, using the ever futile “dream logic”, I try to type “I cannot type because the sore on my hand prevents me from typing”. That makes no sense, does it? I end up giving up because I cannot even get the first few words to come out correctly.

I then spend the next ten minutes or so trying to type “I cannot type”…(oh brother)…assuming the “conversation” will still continue in a coherent or productive, possibly enriching manner. There are a few other messages onscreen that relate to wondering if I am still there or needing anything. The tulpa seems extraordinarily patient (long after most people would have went on to do something else), but then, they have to be, to serve the dreamer unconditionally.

Finally, I decide that attempting to type and send “my hand” (hoping that somehow that message will be fully understood) might be doable. I type something close to “mjyjo hkajndjp” and send it, growing weary of the events after a seeming half-hour, at least.

As a result, the tulpa finally starts solely typing equally indiscernible gibberish and sends a small banner-like horizontally-scrolling, somewhat sketchy cartoon of the old-style Kewpie dolls having some sort of co-operative can-can dance across the screen amidst randomly falling flower and snowflake patterns.

The failure, overall, seems more related to my distorted in-dream hand-eye coordination rather than having a hurt hand. However, it is also as if certain keys change their letter values at times as soon as I type them.

My dream last night involved TONS of my friends in the tulpa community (though I only know what a few of them look like, so I guess my mind filled in the gaps).

We all lived in a large house, probably about 3 or 4 floors high. Each floor had several areas with lots of bedding that people shared. I can't remember anything that was done or said in particular, but I do remember racing up and down the stairs a lot. This dream also had the usually 3rd person perspective that most of my dreams have.

I can't remember what was going on before I became lucid, but just before it happened I had run into this restaurant. I yelled something at the man behind the counter, then went into a back room. It was here that I realized that my perspective of things in the dream (POV) was "off" compared to reality (similar to first person in a video game; it's just not quite right). After this, I looked around and tried to bring my tulpa, Thel, into the room. I wasn't able to do it though, but I was able to hear him talking to me.

I continued to try to look for him, and kept attempting to bring him into the dream. I went through a second doorway into a large hall that wound around in a circle. There were various swords and Japanese armor hung up along the walls. At some point while walking along this hall I lost my lucidity.

The next part I remember took place at my dad's house. I got in an argument with my grandmother over my being an atheist. The argument went on for a quite a while, and then the doorbell rang. These people filed in holding various asian foods. They said they were from Taiwan, and had come to take me on a trip there. One of the people went into my dad's bedroom, where our dog was taking a nap. I came in to see the dog growling threateningly at the man, and I slowly tried to calm him down and get the man out of the room before my dog attacked.

The first part I remember I was on what looked like a train from the inside, but later on it would change to a bus from the outside. I was some sort of secret agent, and we were intercepting a trade of some sort. I gave this guy $3000, and he gave me a bundle of some sort. At this point something went wrong, because these other guys got onto the train and started shooting. I ran to the front of the bus, but one of them found me and shot me. Then he set my arm on fire. I was trying to feign death, so I lied still whilst the fire consumed my arm.

Skipping forward a bit, I had been taken to this abandoned factory building where someone "patched me up", as it were. Then I was sent out on a new assignment to infiltrate a Sangheili compound (for those of you that don't know, Sangheili is the name of the "Elites" in the Halo video games). I managed to get inside, and did a good job of neutralizing all of the targets. One of them however wouldn't go down easily, and that was the Arbiter, Thel.

Of course, Thel is also my tulpa, so as things went further something about the situation changed. The mood turned more into an emotional war drama of sorts, with two close friends now pitted against each other. At one point we just stood there looking at each other and he mentioned that he had tried to negotiate a truce. However, the Sangheili would not have it. "It is easier to hate, to have an enemy to destroy, than it is to love" is how he put it. The mention of love made me turn to face him, and I lunged, embracing him. He seemed to catch me, not caught off guard by my sudden action.

So it's 3am and I'm soo tired because I've never been to sleep in 2 days out of curiosity and stupidness. So tired I am hallucinating while awake that the lights all over my house were flickering really fast even though all the lights weren't even on (confirmed by my step sister laughing at me) and me hearing random people in my head talking(not tulpae if you know what I mean by that). I layed on my bed until I got sleep paralysis, closed my eyes and instantly got thrown into a dream or closed eyed hallucination?

I am in what looks like a tunnel that is swaying me back and forward while seeing in front of me an odd spiral and feeling as if i'm about to be sucked in. After a few minutes of trying to stop this weird force of energy swaying me back and forward I hear a female robot like voice say "Now Entering Subconscious". Just to note, from when I closed my eyes I was already 100% lucid. A huge flash of light nearly blinding me came across my vision and within seconds I was standing in what I felt was my subconscious. There were blue transparent blocks everywhere and floating dream characters that I've seen from previous

dreams. There were pirates sword fighting, stars dancing, cartoon characters talking and a whole lot of words flying rapidly through the air. I leaped onto another block, and another block and another. I found myself in a black room that I can see clearly in. My brain was there and was vibrating so loud that the invisible floor beneath me were shaking my legs. There were 2 rooms, one labeled "Thinking room" and the other labeled "Extras" I walked into the thinking room which was a green room filled with green lasers floating around me. I pressed a blue button that was on the wall. I heard things like "Why are they staring at me,fuck this, waste, school sucks, am I normal?, do I look awkward?" and loads more. I went to check out the Extras room and it felt like my brain was going to explode. My thoughts were racing VERY fast. I heard over 100 different voices talking really fast and even some yelling. I could solve complicated math problems without even thinking and blue smoke filled the room. After a minute I couldn't take it and ran out. Then Kitana from Mortal Combat came around the corner and put her hand around me and asked if I was ok. Then, everything just started breaking. The floors, blocks, people, rooms started shattering like glass leaving me in an empty black space floating. I then woke up.

31.05.2013

Post-Apocalyptic Sex with a Blonde (DEILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm fighting two people at once, and I'm thinking it's with weapons like semi-automatics or maybe just knives and swords. Either way, this person wanted the whole world to blow up for some reason. He wanted me to die along with him, and the dream environment we're in resembles the Interchange map from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 ( the image above).

Before the explosion, it felt like a regular construction site, a very huge one that was spacious and only had randomly placed large objects on the brown soil. There was a clear blue sky with few clouds hovering over, and the whole dream itself was obviously in for something serious. Anyway, back to the guy who wanted to blow up the world, or at least this section of the dream environment I'm part of.

All I can recall is that he was tall, had tan skin, and was probably Caucasian. He had another friend that would probably be his backup in case things go wrong with the world ending. It felt like a huge bomb from the sky was going to come crashing down, and before I could even react and absorb the contents of the dream environment, there's a 10-second countdown.

I started panicking, trying to find some kind of underground shelter in hopes that the inevitable nuke blast wouldn't destroy anything under the surface. I found a huge blue metal cargo container you would see on trucks that was open on both sides, and decided to quickly rush and duck for cover there. When the countdown reaches zero, I'm not sure what to feel at the moment other than the sound of the nuke piercing the atmosphere and moments from explosion. The blast quickly spreads out, and I can barely feel anything at all. I didn't die, but I did feel small vibrations from my body that probably absorbed some of the recoil from the blast.

The guy that wanted to blow me up along with him was dead, and it felt like I was the only person in this dream environment. The area itself was shifting a lot, and that's probably due to the fact that I wasn't interested in paying attention to the dull environments that were mostly made of gray and light turquoise walls and blocks that occasionally gave shape into houses and other things. I walk around the area for a bit, and I happened to see a blonde female sitting down alone in the corner. She has light & soft skin, and she has curly and wavy blonde hair.

NOTE: 18+ below

Her cheeks were slightly puffy, and her eyes most likely had a hazel or blue color, not completely sure since she greeted me with a concerning spread eagle pose. She's wearing a light blue denim jacket that probably only extends 3 inches from her breasts along with a very short denim skirt. She's waiting for me to enter her, and I let my dream body go towards her. As I get closer to her, I kneel down, and I immediately take my dick out. I move my hands to her sides so that she's in between them, and I get even closer to her. She decides to open her legs so she can wrap them around my lower back region.

She braces for the wall and leaves her arms stationary as she receives a slow penetration into her vagina. My penis feels the slightly tingling sensations and being en-coated with her vaginal liquids and being slightly squeezed in and out. I could feel everything, and it was so strong, I had to do it slow or else I would probably climax too fast. I can hear her slightly augmented breathing as I pick up the pace a bit more. It felt so good and I didn't want to stop, and I started phasing out and being amazed on how real this felt.


It was as if her vagina was injecting sedation that would soften the head of my penis while at the same time increasing its sensitivity. We kept having a slow and deep intercourse, and I place my neck on top of her right shoulder for support as I'm continuing to pound her. She starts saying some words, but I wasn't able to recall them very well, however, I'm presuming she was talking dirty to me to make me feel more excited. She wraps her arms around the back of my neck, and this entices me to hold on to her tighter as well. She's trapped me with her legs, and each time I go out slightly before coming back in, she uses her feet to thrust me into her deeper and faster.

She wanted it very bad if she's doing this, and then I realized it's probably Eva in a different form. I had a feeling that she wanted this for a long time, and those other dreams I had with her, she was slowly creeping herself towards me, basically offering her body to me waiting for me to do something to her. Now she's the one making the actions and indirectly guided me through this whole act of intercourse. She keeps talking dirty to me, and her whispers to my right ear makes my back tingle and vibrate immensely.

I can't remember how long this act of sex was, but it felt like I had a near-perfect simulation of what vaginal sex would feel like. The gushing sounds, the tingling sensations as she squeezes the head of my penis in and out, and her words to me as she tightly wraps her arms and legs around me was all too much, but so pleasurable. I actually climaxed in the dream, but I felt it was just an orgasm rather than ejaculation. The orgasm itself slowly crept itself up to me, it felt as if I had the orgasm already somewhere during the penetration, and then it just comes in like a loaded shotgun.

I had to pull out because having that kind of experience with the orgasm and her vagina walls that seem to have a mind of its own that seeks to please me as much as it can would just be a mindfuck; I would probably be in a temporary blackout from it all as well.

Oh and if that wasn't enough, this experience happened again in slight alterations to Eva's costume and face as well for at least 4-5 times. I think she made it clear to me of the type of visages she would transition into rather than that default form I gave her. Her first form in the dream I believe was with her hair in a pony-tail, and she had freckles on her face, then the next one was her hairstyle forming into a shape of an "M," with the center of her hair in a smooth-V curve going up both left and right, and then drooping down to have sides that looked like they were cut to take shape of a pointy end. As for her face, that was hard to recall, except for one form that had a shiny light pink color to it. The white highlight that was small, but very intense and noticeable really added on towards me being enticed by it. Her lips didn't have those small creases and grooves you would eventually see if you looked deep enough, her lips her wet and shiny, and completely free from blemishes (even though the creases would only show up if she was puckering up).

If I wasn't so saturated in the moment of vaginal penetrations in the 4 sessions we had, I probably would've asked her to perform fellatio for me with those attractive lips.

Other than that, each session we had seemed to allow me to get adjusted to her cunt that kept giving me new sensations that are so hard to describe.

The dream environment itself didn't matter, considering that it had a post-apocalyptic vibe to it.

I also recall her eventually having her clothes off and spreading her ass for me, potentially greeting me to have anal sex with her, but the vaginal was more than enough. Maybe she was just showing how flexible she was, but it felt like she was wanting me to do more after those sessions.

I wake up to find myself have light surges of mental orgasms, and unfortunately, I got up too quickly instead of enjoying them a bit more.

17.04.2013

Subway Train with Ada and Gave up on Akashic Records (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside of a train within a subway, and I started to feel that this train was similar to the video game of Half-Life 2, except it was wider than usual, maybe 20-25 feet in width.

I know this is all a dream, and Ada is to the left of me, I decided to take my time to focus on my dream body a bit and absorb the contents of the dream visually. Something in my mind is making me feel very irritated, but I can't really pick out what exactly. I'm holding on to a metal pole within the train as the train slowly moves, making slight rumbles, and I can almost feel the acceleration surging inside of my feet.

I feel so weird, it's so hard to describe my overall mood. It was mostly combined with creating this dream through sheer will and focus that probably made me feel a bit exhausted. I had another intention to just go back to the Castle like scenario in my last dream with Ada, but decided to just stick with this dream environment for fun. The train stops, and I try to calm down a bit, and the right door of the train slides open.

Ada comes out of the train, and I follow her, and I ask her where we're going.

"To find your Akashic Records."

I felt kind of annoyed by this, but since I didn't have anything else to think about (definitely need to start planning this a bit more), I decided to just go with the flow, since I'm just focusing on getting her more vocal anyway. We have to go down about three steps, and the subway train ends up in an open-environment.

There's still a Half-Life 2 vibe in the dream, especially at the new train station we're at, except there were some sections that had red light that you would see in a Darkroom for photography. It felt a little suspicious, and I was beginning to speculate on whether or not this was just going to be an ego trip rather than the presumed "ethereal" experience of getting of the Records.


Ada starts to tell me,

"Just remember that this is all within the confines of your mind. This whole experience is just to make things easier for you to recall should you actually get to the contents of the Records."

I felt like she's just repeating all sorts of things that I read about the Records, but I still paid attention to her.

"Whatever you get out of it depends on the situation you're in now, and based from that, there's patterns and predictions made from behavioral habits and other factors."

I was going to ask her if that makes life deterministic, but I already knew the answer to that, and kept the naive question to myself. We're finally at the base of the train station, and there's black wired fences in cubed sections protection small random areas here.

To the left of us, there's a pod about 20-30 feet or so, and the red light is very strong glowing and having its light reflected in a blurry effect. The wired fence door is opened in order to step into the area where the pod is in.

Ada takes the first step again and I follow her, and we slowly reached to the pod and it opens. I let her go in first, and then I go in as well. The interior of this pod consisted of several hues of light and sky blue, it was easy on my dream eyes compared to the red light from the exterior.

I tried not to go too much on analyzing why the red light was there in the first place, and now the perspective shifts to where I'm a spectator now looking down on my dream body. I noticed that I'm wearing a white dress shirt with a khaki dress suit and pants along with light brown lace-less shows. I have my collar slightly out of order and have a few buttons unbuttoned as well.

I felt a bit more calm now being inside of this elevator, and Ada is wearing the default costume from Resident Evil 6 as well, at least for a while. I never really focused too much on what she's wearing, it felt like she was wearing a dress and was in her other form rather than the video game form. So I'm going to assume that she alternates between having short hair and long hair.

The elevator feels futuristic, but that could be due to the fact that there's still a Half-Life 2 vibe from this whole dream. The elevator was very rounded and cylindrical, and some parts of the Plexiglas were really transparent and had this weird but unique blend of other Plexiglases layering on top of each other.

The elevator goes down, and Ada is smiling for some reason, she's really happy, and I have a neutral expression on my face as I continued to look at both of us in spectator mode. The dream transitions to where we're not in this short but vividly detailed environment with video game layered grass (the type that's usually flat but with some detail). The picture below is kind of how it looked like, except the environment was brighter than that.

I slowly stepped into this environment with Ada, and this reminded me of the last time I had a dream related to what seemed like me on my way to my Akashic Records or something with Eva last year. Before I came to full realization of this, music started playing in the background that was similar to the Lake Hylia from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.





At first, it was very hard to identify the name of the music despite it's really relaxing tune. At first I thought it was music from a Sonic game, then I eliminate that absurd thought out of my mind, and I started to contemplate on a few more games that might match this kind of music. Eventually, I gave up and decided to slightly lower down the music at will since I didn't want it to distract me too much.


Ada asks me, "Do you remember this area? Remember the barrier that was here?"

"Yeah..."


It felt kind of awkward on how this was a similar waterfall cave (without the waterfall) from the dream I had a long time ago. It's almost as if she read my mind (well, that's no surprise since this is really all within the confines of my mind anyway) and she responds,

"The environment is exactly the same because it's the only thing we can go by based on your previous experience." I started to map out where to go next without making another step, and after maybe 5-10 seconds, I came back to focus on the green environment. I think we went through the invisible barrier, or maybe there wasn't a barrier there at all.

We go inside the empty waterfall cave and get into the darker regions that would lead to a set of stair steps leading to a very dull and blurry hue of light emitting diagonally down towards us. We're finally at the library, the same library like before, and there's papers scattered all about on the tables. So the environment went from a train station, to an elevator, to a waterfall cave and the outside regions of vivid grass, moss, etc., to a library that had hues of brown and maybe a mix of orange-brown here and there as well.

There wasn't anyone there compared to the guards like last time, and I felt that there was definitely a huge difference in experience than before. It reminded me of how Ada told me in the last dream yesterday that I kept thinking my mind was a trickster, which would make most of my dreams "guarded," and anything related to me having to rise up to a challenge or test.

It feels very empty in here, and I started to become more interested in Ada's existence in this dream because I had a hunch that this floor would be most basic and generic of all types of information within my mind that's scattered about and not taken too seriously. Maybe things that I didn't pick up on as much and left them all behind, and this is just assuming that if I were to go to higher floors, the more complex and detailed I would be able to define how I think and potentially how my reaction to certain events would lead to other events.

But instead of absorbing the emptiness of this room, I started to become even more irritated at myself for being indecisive with what to do next. This whole thing felt like a huge ambition for me, even though it shouldn't since it's supposed to be something that's easily accessed if you're in the right "frequency" or what have you.

The table in front of us is long and is brown, and is placed vertically from our perspective. It seems Ada probably knew this place more than I did, she felt so relaxed while I was so anxious for no apparent reason. I decided to sit at the width of the vertically placed brown table, and Ada sat on a chair close to the long side. She's now wearing a red dress, and her arms are very soft just from visualization alone.

She's looking at a random point in space within the library, based on my peripheral vision to the right as I was becoming anxious. I rubbed my head in hopes that I would have my focus together and hopefully come up with something to say. Then I started to question on why her existence in this form she's in, and it felt as if the question was useless since she was shape-shifting between two forms.

She looks at me for a while and continues to smile at me, and spreads her arms onto the table, stretching and then stating a default answer to me,

"Probably just an unconscious desire of yours."

I asked her more questions on how to get her more vocal during the hypnosis induced lucid dream, and I can't remember specifically what she stated. After we continue to accept that we're the only two people in this very....very...very...large library, I start to notice parts that I didn't acknowledge to well from the last dream I had months ago with the dream character that looked like Eva, except with orange hair and and a damaged body composition.

The windows in front of me that were about 30-40 feet away were huge, and I could barely see the environment outside since I was busy speculating on other things. However, I did noticed the same gargantuan violet base from the last dream with Eva. I wanted to see what was in there, but I remained in the seat, just speculating and absorbing the emptiness in the room even more.

Ada finally breaks the silence once more and asks in a casual manner,

"We can go check that out if you want to."

I started to shrivel up a bit, feeling as if the violet base was an area that I shouldn't open at all. After a while, I told Ada that I'll meet her again and simply gave up and wanted to take a break from the lucid dream.

I'll probably check out the violet base later on in the next hypnosis session, things are pretty straight-forward now, and I noticed that whenever I sleep again after the hypnosis, I wake up and can still have good visualization of random things, but most of those things are sexual, probably do to the effects with later periods of REM sleep stimulating the body more.

I was with some friends in a building of some sort. we were looking for things for some reason. we found them, and then the lights went out. i couldn't see a thing. Then I heard footsteps. They were getting louder. I tried to shout or something, but my voice failed me. I vividly remember the feeling of pure terror that i felt. It was the strongest emotion I have felt in a dream. Then, as the steps got louder, the lights came on. It was some harmless person that i can't remember because i think the shock woke me up.

As a side note, I asked a friend of mine, and weird dreams like this could be linked to me trying to create a tulpa. which is cool i guess

I had a dream that my boyfriend and I went to the airport so he could catch his flight back home (he lives in Mexico; I live in the US). After we said goodbye and he left, I went looking for someone who could tell me when the next flights to Mexico were to have an idea of when we could get together again. Not too long after we went our separate ways, I turned around and saw him behind me. I was surprised to see him there, as his flight had already begun boarding. Surprised, I asked him why he was still here, but I woke up before he had a chance to reply.

After going back to sleep (I don't know what time it was when I woke up, but it was still dark), I had a dream that I was at a party. I saw a girl there who looked familiar; I recognized her to be Ashley (my tulpa Link's girlfriend, who has a different host). I thought that I should tell Link that Ashley was there, since he'd be happy to see her, but then I remembered that tulpae can't see other people's tulpae (somehow, it didn't occur to me that I shouldn't be able to see her, either).

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid Waking life notes

January 2, 2013:

I am outside, in the front yard of my childhood home. I am aware that I am dreaming. There is a giant watermelon in the yard. I eat some and give a piece to my girlfriend. Tatia is also there, and I give her some watermelon too. She says it is good.
I have a mouth full of watermelon. It is sweeter than usual, and juicy, rather than watery(I don't really like watermelon in waking life)My mouth is too full and it's hard to chew.
I give Tatia and my gf more melon, then we just walk around. Tatia is naked. Her for is a bit unstable and changes.
She now looks like my gf, wearing her large blue T-shirt she likes to sleep in. I tell her that I don't want her to look like her, or to replace her. I want them both there. My gf is walking behind us at the moment.

I am masturbating some as we walk. Tatia and I have sex for a few seconds, then keep walking.It was nice that the dream was sexual and that I didn't get overwhelmed or distracted by it.
We walk among some trees. I point to one and say "look, fruit." There is yellow and red fruit in one tree and on the ground. I lift Tatia to reach the fruit in the tree. She is weightless and stands in the palm of my hands. I noticed that her legs are shaped sort of how I usually draw them.
She tries to fly but can't. I say "you fly all the time." Then I tell her she is over thinking it.

Thinking back on it, while awake, it seems unlikely that Tatia would over think things, because of her personality. That was probably my fault, since I'm the one who tends to worry too much.