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Morning of September 26, 2015. Saturday.



In my dream, I am focused on my childhood dream girl scenario. Though I now know her in reality as my beautiful wife Zsuzsanna, my long-term memory is not accessible (which in fact is typical in many dream types). I am perhaps about twenty-five years old.

I look to her right and notice we are probably either in an isolated forest or possibly a park. My attention becomes focused on what looks like writing superimposed on the largest tree in the foreground, each letter perhaps about the size of a leaf. I become semi-lucid yet distracted by the idea of “learning” something in a dream state by reading it, which is usually futile.

Just under that tree in the foreground, I see a brighter light, which I am aware is my conscious mind at one level, like a potential portal to waking from the present scenario. This intrigues me. However, the landscape “under” and beyond the tree seems slightly miniature. I am not sure if I can “fit” under the sky if I choose to walk in that direction. I may bump my head on the sun and possibly burn some of my hair off.

The “writing” on the tree becomes more annoying as I “realize” that I am not looking at letters of the alphabet even though I am. For a time, I think I am looking at horseshoes that somehow got thrown into the tree over time by enthusiastic horseshoe players. However, I eventually become aware that I am in fact looking at “letters”, but mostly only “C” and “U” in a random sequence. I reflect that this may be some sort of binary code and consider trying to “interpret” or decode it.

Strangely enough, my dream-self does not even become aware of the play on “CU” (as in “see you”) at any point even though I am quite lucid prior to fading. I decide to move forward to wake. The ray of sunlight reminds me vaguely of a yellow number two pencil from my school days, held up diagonally, writing intricate “shadow writing” over the path ahead.

Had a long non-ld moment where I put together something like a form/report. Making a note of this because at the time of wake I could remember most of it. It was like 1.5 pages long, a coherent text that my dreaming self spent carefully writing down with a pen word by word and not a single thing was illegible or illogical.

I woke up and moved quite violently, thus most of the details were forgotten. I can reacall that I was in home, and drove to school with my sister in her car. I was working on technical lessons. When I came back home I was writing some kind of story with someone.

I'm looking at a man lying on the floor, bound in ropes, while a woman talks to me about him. He doesn't have a shirt and the ropes are cutting into his skin, I can smell blood, though he's otherwise unhurt. I can't see his face. The woman's saying, "We would walk a (something) of this guy. (Something long) lest he move-" I'm thinking that this situation reminds me of something I did under Charlemagne's rule.

FK, catching up with Janette. She's shocked to learn I haven't turned anyone since we separated in 1683 - it's been a century or two since then. She finds it impossible to imagine spending all that time without your own kind.

On the subject of writing, the man I'm speaking with is arguing that using a gateway to hell as a plot device is trite. The gateway to hell should be the book itself, not a device.

Walking aimlessly down the halls of the McKittrick Hotel, I was considering passing the time at Hecate's replica bar - she'll be out for a while yet but it's always possible someone interesting will stop in. But I heard the beautiful sound of a piano coming from the room just beyond the bar's entrance, and followed it, and met a classical composer who I could not convince to give me his name.

I'm trying to hold a conversation with a giant. He's holding an ax, the blade of which is currently buried in the roof of a building, and there are a few terrified people running away - they're being very loud and making it difficult for me to continue our conversation. But the giant's just thanked me for something, and I respond in disbelief, "You thanked a jinxed magician." That's something you shouldn't do, very bad luck.

First dream

With my friends we were in a post nuclear war city. We were going through some alleys, and we were ambushed by a large group of bandits. We have spread out, but most of them ran after me. I was fighting, and brought them to their knees with a few puches. Then, I ran through some abandoned flats, and met my friend in the power plant. We tried to turn the generators on, and we made it.

Second dream

I was writing a story about that first dream, and it had even good reviews, although some flaws were spotted.

*Dreams about dreams...*

Non-Dream Dream

Dream 1:

I am at a fancy bar / restaurant with a few friends - I believe they are the guys from Workaholics. I am drinking wine for a while then switch to very cheap whiskey. Suddenly the place gets much more crowded and lively and it seems to be like a high school reunion or something. Throughout the dream I find that I am either really bad at talking to chicks or I just have no desire to do so.

Fragments from this dream:

- Ders from workaholics had invented an automatic lawn mower and was testing it out outside. It works really well but he has the settings coded wrong. It goes too far laterally during the turns and won't overlap the previous path. This leaves long lines of uncut grass. I go up to tell him how to correct it and he had morphed into my friend BW.

- There is a very long and steep gravel driveway outside. My friends and I slide down the entire thing on our feet.

- There are lots of older people and they are disgusted by our behavior.

- Two chicks are in a battle over who is hotter. We determined who is hotter by asking them to show us their raw steaks. The girl sitting up at the long table shows a very thick and bright red ribeye steak. The girl sitting down at the round table also shows a nice steak but I can't describe it in detail. The crowd unanimously votes for the girl with the ribeye. I was the first to declare her the winner. I had been mean to her earlier in the dream and she didn't like me but now she does.

- We are all signing a card towards the end of the night. It is massive with seemingly hundreds of notes / signatures. I can't think of what to write and my writing is very sloppy. I am also having difficulty gripping the pen. The card is taken away from me.

- My friend and I ask two chicks to join us in a dance competition. It turns out to be a mixture of dancing and golf.

Dream 2: The golfing continues on an actual course with different people. The first whole is a short, 115 yard par 3 with a huge lake between the tee box and the green. The first lady to hit is new to the game and very intimidated by the lake. She hits a low line drive that looks like it will carry the lake. She is very excited thinking that she did it. The ball does in fact carry the lake but hits the wall behind the green and bounces back into the lake. I am up next and I am trying to decide which club to hit. I pick the pitching wedge and then wake up.

Dream - Lucid

I was in a college classroom, and we were each assigned a personality type and had to find the description in the book, fill it in on a worksheet, and the read it out loud to the class. I had taken this class before, but I couldn't recall the answer. I flipped through the book looking for it. I finally thought for sure I found it. I read it out loud, but I was then told that I was wrong. Ok...so I flipped around the book some more and found another one.
"Ok, this is for sure the right one," I said. I really did think it was.
I then read it and filled in the blank on the sheet. It still didn't sound right. Upon second glance, I noticed that I had read the description for "Pepsi". I got up to go somewhere really fast. I hoped no one noticed my now second error.

I came back and was assigned, by the teacher, who was a middle-aged female, an extra assignment to help me understand the personality type better. Everyone then left.

I then was going to another class taught by her. It was the same subject matter, but a higher level; it was a 4000-level class. It was really late at night though; I was looking at the white analog clock on the wall and seeing that it was almost 10pm. I was also the only one in the classroom besides the teacher. I figured that no one had signed up for it but me. I "remembered" when I signed up for it. I also "remembered" taking many classes on this subject in the past, and she was my teacher every time. The subject was something like social work. Since it was just her and I, I told her that I had taken many classes before and I had the notes all somewhere but not with me. I don't remember what we talked about, but we didn't really talk about the subject. I do feel like it was easier for us to talk one-on-one instead of in a crowded classroom. We didn't get to leave until almost 11pm. I figured that this class would probably get cancelled since I was the only one in it. I thought about how this would affect my credit hours; it would put me right at 15, the minimum I had to have to stay a full-time student (it's 12 IWL). I also thought about how I would want another class in the same subject to replace it. I also noticed that it didn't really feel that late; it felt like it was only 7pm or so. I said this to the teacher. She was talking about getting home to her kid and how getting out so late affected that.

I then was somewhere else, I believe in the teacher's office. She was telling me that the class got cancelled. She was standing up doing something in a small closet at this point, and I was standing very close to her on her left side. I noticed the gray in her hair. She then started to talk about _____ Williams (can't remember the name she used). He was her nephew. I knew right away that she was talking about my old friend Jennifer's husband. I told her
"I know Jennifer. She was my first friend when I moved here."
She then asked me
"Would you like to go to church?"
Not being a church person but not wanting to be rude, I asked
"What church do you go to?"
"I don't go to one," she said.
This answer caught me off guard.

Still in the school, I then was watching my husband, who was wearing a light blue shirt and shorts, walk into this passage that slanted upwards. The opening was the interstate. He was going to take the interstate to get somewhere faster. I didn't want to take the interstate, so I walked inside the building to wherever I was going. When I got there, I saw many people walking out of an opening. It reminds me now that I am going back and thinking about it of people getting off an airplane and walking into the terminal. I saw my husband walking out as I was getting there. I guess the interstate really wasn't any faster since we got there at the exact same time.

~

I was at work. Shannon wanted me to work on writing on cakes. She gave me a cake and told me to practice writing "Happy Birthday Charles" on it. She gave me some icing. I twisted the bag and let some excess come out of the tip before I started. Little strings of teal icing came out and went onto the floor. I then went to the cake and started writing. For some reason, I was writing "Charles" first at the top, as if I was going to write "Charles, Happy Birthday" instead of "Happy Birthday Charles". The icing was coming out way too big, and I wasn't going to be able to fit Charles on there because I was also writing way too big. I didn't finish his name before I reached the end of the cake. I scraped the icing off and started again.

I tried over and over to do this, always starting by squeezing some icing out first. The closest I got to succeeding was when I wrote "Happy" too far to the right, but it fit. I had started it too far to the right, but the H was very pretty and it looked really nice. The second word I don't think was "Birthday" but I'm not sure what it was. At any rate, it looked like it was moving, and it had some red, white, and blue star-shaped sprinkles around it. The effect that it looked as if it was moving was really cool, and I knew Shannon could do it, so I was really proud of myself.

I was then looking at different cake templates. I was writing on an actual cake, but at the same time, it was a book I was flipping through, looking at the different templates for cakes.

I then was going to write on the wall in icing. I was writing very close to a light switch. I wrote "Call" and then below it, I started to write "5-5-5". As I was writing it, I started to hear a beep every time the icing was coming out of the bag. I knew that this was some kind of icing that you set with heat. It was coming out in a thin, blood-red gel. I got a little nervous, hoping Shannon didn't hear it because it could stain the wall. I then turned the tip to switch the setting of the icing to a different type and color. I continued to write the 5's. The icing was still red, but looked more like a strawberry jelly now, and no more beeps. I was writing big, so I had to write the 5's at an angle because the light switch was in the way.

Dream - Lucid

I had written two books, and was in the process of writing a third. I don't remember the genre of the first two. The third was a very graphic horror book, and much longer than the first two, even though it wasn't finished yet.

We were by a book shelf, but I feel like we were at a grocery store? Courtney S. was there with a few other people. She and some of the others had read the other two, and they really liked them. Courtney S. picked up the third one to read, and I took it from her; this was not a book I was going to release to the public. It was about some people being at sea and tragedies started to strike them, starting with one of the characters getting a cork stuck in her throat. It got way worse after that; there were sex scenes and gruesome accidents. It was a hardback book that had a red jacket with some sort of pattern on it. It looked like Christmas wrapping paper. It was wayyyy too big for the book. I tore some of the excess paper off the book. I had apparently made the book covers with a kit used to create them.

I had not worked on the horror book for quite some time. I started to read it myself, and get myself into the mood to write the book. Some of it was written out like a play, with the characters talking in turn, having their names precede their dialog. I could picture it as I was reading it; I saw the lady who got the cork stuck in her throat speaking with another lady. She foolishly had the cork in her mouth. The other lady was supposed to call 911 when the cork got lodged in her friend's throat. Then, there was a scene that I didn't finish reading, one about a guy I know IWL named Jeff B., and it was a sex scene between him and I. I imagined him with no shirt. He was very sculpted.

I felt strangely excited about reading and writing the book again, almost sexually so.

I then remember seeing a grocery store aisle by the check out counters.

~

I absolutely know I dreamed more last night, but no more recall. I did go to bed late, and am up early for work again.

I did my meditation yesterday. I like to meditate on my inner light and love. I always visit a monk in my meditations, and he helps to walk me through them. I cleansed my chakras, and let go of my anxieties and negative energy. It was definitely something I have been meaning (and needing) to do. Towards the end of it, I felt as if I was falling asleep, but I wasn't falling asleep; it was like I was falling into a very meditative state. My chest started to feel warm. I couldn't really feel my fingers touching the bed. I then saw a big purple blob in the middle of my vision, and heard a voice say
"I am afraid my child will come home."
I would liken this occurrence to the weird thoughts one has before falling asleep sometimes.
I then came out of the deep state, but was still in a somewhat meditative state. I meditated for about 20 minutes or so. Gonna try to do it again today after work, though I am afraid I might fall asleep instead...I am going to be wiped.

This is the first time I write in my online Dream Journal, but I wrote down my dreams before (unconsciously).

Quick background about this dream (my dreams in general). I dream, mostly, about a character named Fabiënne (also named Vivian, Evy or even Rebecca aka me). This dc is also a character in my stories (I write fantasy stories, mostly based on my dreams), this character is 'me' loosely in a way. Next I have another story/dc character Damon (or Adrian) who I dream about a lot. He is Fabiënne's boyfriend (or potential boyfriend).

My latest dreams (I have a dream and keep dreaming about the same story or subject for a week or longer) were about Fabiënne (or I, I am seeing this from her POV) and Damon. They were camping in a camper and they were hiding from a organization (this is a long on going subject that is difficult to explain and also is part of my made up story I write IWL).
I was shot in her abdomen and is now wrapped in bandages. It is unclear how the bandages came their, if the bullet is in my body or who shot me. I am sleeping on a bed that also has a function as a table (in a camper you can apparently make your dinner table into a bed, I don't know I have never been camping in a camper). I feel save and happy (this I can acutely feel as if I'm in a Lucid dream). I am also in a bit of pain, sore, like muscular pain (this I can't feel for real, I just know I am in pain or supposed to be sore).

I hope you guys like my dream. You can ask questions (for example about my stories) or comment if you experienced something like this as well. =D

For the third time in my life this has happened...the first time this has happened to me I was 10, again when I was 18, and now it happened last night (22 turning 23 next week) I remember it as clear as day, it was a short dream I am sitting on a fallen palm tree that's sitting on white sand with my toes in clear blue water with two furry dogs? (they were kind of big) one was all black with blue eyes and the other was all white with red eyes. There was a strong breeze that came through I close my eyes to stop the sand from coming in. I opened them and there was a woman, I couldn't see her face she had the sun directly behind her. She seem kind, it was like I knew who she was without really know who she actually was, weird and may not make a whole lot of sense but that's the best way I can explain it. Anyways she softly takes my hand in hers turn my hand palm facing up and with a paint brush made from bamboo she writes something on my arms first starting with the left arm and then the right arm.
This woman drops the paint brush and a gust of wind blows me off the tree and into the water but I don't fall in I catch myself and I look up and she's gone. I look down at the water and see ripples but can't tell what's causing them, I look at my arms and see these odd symbols so odd I don't even know what to compare them to, and then it starts to rain...a sun shower and that was when the dogs that I have with me get up we go through a door and I rub my arms to try to dry myself off and I looked down and whatever the woman wrote on me was smeared, for some reason it made me upset. And then I wake up now I don't know if the same exact dream happened the other two times all I remember from those is just waking up with those same symbols always smeared. What does it all mean? Should I be worried?

Morning of February 15, 2014. Saturday.



I had apparently been working with colored pencils, mostly writing but uncertain of all the content other than having a focus on dreams. Different colors seem to relate to different dream types.

There is a feature of two pencils forming a cross, which seems to have some significance. One is blue, one is red.

I have an association with an intersection, which is a recurring feature in my dreams. It may relate (in this case) to having different views than someone else, or “going in a different direction”, yet in contrast, it also has the implication of meeting or coming together. Thus, there is the aspect of ambiguity.

---

Successful teleportation with closed eyes... my first of these! Great new skill to have. (This was the third of three lucid dreams from this morning.)

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #165: Travel Buddy

The sister of a good friend has been kidnapped and I’ve gone on a mission to rescue her. (False memory: no waking life friend, no sister) She’s being held in a place that looks like a mental hospital. I’m hazy on how we get to this point, but she’s hurt or disabled, and I wind up carrying her slung over my shoulder, pursued by a handful of guys in suits. The hallway we’re in dead-ends at a locked door, but I crash through it.

Now I'm running along a metal walkway around the outside of the building which ends at a railing. I'm fifty feet up and trapped. There’s another walkway I could jump to but it feels hugely risky to do this while carrying another person. I’m wondering what to do when I realize that the whole thing is a dream.

The whole scene goes quiet -- the pursuers are gone and my companion is now standing on the walkway beside me. I realize that she isn’t my friend’s sister or in fact anyone I know at all. My reaction to this is to think Awesome! and begin randomly making out with her for a moment. After just a bit of this she sort of loses interest and wanders away, quickly disappearing. I gaze down at the street below and as I try to look closely at what’s down there, I unintentionally teleport to street level.

I find myself standing in a vacant lot. From the sidewalk, a very attractive woman with a pixie haircut is calmly watching me. I’m still feeling a little amorous so I hurry quickly over to her. “Hi!” she says. “What did you want to say to me?”

I feel a little sheepish because it feels obvious that she already knows. “I was looking for sex.”

“Okay,” she says. “I could do that if you want. But before you decide what to ask for, you need to know that I can help you do anything you want me to.” She really emphasizes this last part.

Even though she doesn’t say it outright, I get the sense that I get only one chance to make a choice. “Can you help me get to the Great Barrier Reef?” I ask, referring to Task of the Year.

“Yes!” she says. “I can help you with anything! We have to take an airplane to get to Australia.” She hurries down the sidewalk and I follow her. Day quickly turns to night as we approach a squat, black building that looks a bit like a dingy train station.

She explains that, “There’s no direct flight to Australia from this airport so we’ll have to stop at <some name> airport.” The place doesn't really look like an airport, but I believe what she's saying.

“Can’t I just teleport to the other airport?” I ask. (For some reason, teleporting right to the Great Barrier Reef does not occur to me.)

“Go ahead! Try it now, it’ll work!” she says, rather excitedly. I feel incredibly encouraged by this. I close my eyes, imagine the other airport, open them again, and now I’m inside a huge room in a new airport! There’s a big flight departure board covered with lots of illegible information about the flights going through this airport.

She’s standing nearby grinning and she says something congratulatory and mentions that we need to catch our flight. I assume that I can just teleport to the next location, though, and I immediately close my eyes again. I get a sudden little jolt of fear that I’ll mess up somehow. In particular I fear that I'll open my real eyes, so I kind of lose my nerve. The room goes into this half-haze, she disappears, and I feel like I’m losing the dream.

I paw at the scenery nearby and after a bit the scene comes back. Unfortunately my travel buddy seems to be gone for good. I wander around a bit more, walking through a bathroom and mentally writing something on the wall. I find this interesting at first but start feeling a little frustrated when the letters and words won’t stay the same.

I roam the airport a bit longer, but eventually the dream fades.

Dream 1:
I'm on the phone to Tash S. I hang up by accident and call her back even though I knew I had pre-paid and usually a tight ass when it comes to calling people. Her Mum answers and say's ''is that you Dean? Tash has a guy around''. Tash is now talking to me, and I make it quick, cause I don't want to be rude and stay on phone when she has a guest.

I'm at my old house in Crystal G's, but Tash lives here. She's in her bed room and the door is closed.

Dream 2:
I'm outside a house near St agatha's with Ash K and I'm trying to remember a chorus from a song. I write it down on the footpath with a weird substance? soapy? We both laugh about the lyrics I have written down, which are wrong, but Ash knows which song I'm talking about. I can see the song on youtube. The original of the song is sung by a Chinese band which is spelt similar to this ''A1L0UD733T''. There's an English version of the song which is sung by The Beatles. I play the English version and realize I was pretty off with my choice of lyrics.

Dream Fragment:
Collingwood beat Lions by 5 points (105 - 100). I see the MCG.

I need to accept that I have woken up without moving and can try to DEILD. I try and bring on a scene and I notice a small scene of a tree with no leafs on it (Sky View).

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I'm going through a pile of paper with my writings. I carry it to a meeting with a guy who's working on it with me. As he reviews it, Obama appears on a visit to the place we are - an institute or something. He shakes hands with a few persons and then wants to talk to my colleague. I would like to tell him a few things but my colleague really begs me to keep silent. But as we're introduced, we look into each other's eyes and we duel with our minds. He knows and I know, and I know that he knows and he knows that I know.... In the end I feel incredibly unconfortable. Now he knows who I am, shit!
When he goes away, I fly out to the top of the mountain where I meet my mentor and guide. She tells I am right to be scared, because they will come for me, but that is necessary. They need what I have, but I also carry the key to their destruction and it is time to put that in motion.

First I was in our university. then I found myself somewhere that a familiar man was speaking for my old friends. I was beside that man. The man asked me to sit down beside my friends. I done this. That man asked us to write something. I doesn't know what he want. So I asked my friend.