• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. July 23, 2020 Semi-lucid and non-lucid

      by , 07-24-2020 at 05:58 AM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      I can't remember the dream scene but at some point I was walking and the dream looked very real and the idea came about that this was a dream, and I thought 'no that can't be true... wait is it?' and then I realized it was a dream and the dream exploded into vividness. The dream was a bit dark so I shouted "clarity now!" but the dream sort of warped, it reacted but did not necessarily light up, I was at the KC pool and a girl stepped backwards into me and was leaning on me.

      At another point I went lucid again and was in a room on the floor looking up at someone on a bed, I started rubbing my hands together to try to get the dream to stabilize. I looked up at the person and said 3x3 is 9, 4x4 is 16 and they just sort of looked at me, the dream suddenly went very blurry and crashed.

      I was in my bed on my back looking up, I was in that in between state where my body was stiff but I could move, I felt my left kidney tensing up and it was very uncomfortable, this happened a few times and then it switched to SP, I was in my bed and the room went dark, I didn't think I was going into another lucid, I suddenly thought 'Okay so this is when I astral project... astral project!" and I tried to will myself into getting out of my body but it didn't budge.

      I also had a non-lucid earlier where I was in a house, everything felt off, it felt like I was alone there. My vision turned to an interactive overview map of a beach resort, my friends' faces were icons on different parts of the map, I felt like I hadn't been invited but then my face icon popped up at a location and I thought I had now been invited. Back in the house I needed to get ready, the upstairs seemed like an unfinished attic. A rat ran up to me and I thought that I didn't want to be sleeping and have a rat near me. I went downstairs and in my mind if felt like a very intricate basement that went deep into the ground, again it felt like I was alone, I went down into the basement through a hallway into a room and I could see a rat casually hop into the room and look at me. I felt strange and decided I needed to get out of there as the place felt haunted and I felt like it was going to be a struggle to find my way back upstairs, I walked backwards in order to keep my eye on the room, I could see another smaller room attached to the room lit up by itself.
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    2. 7/23/20

      by , 07-24-2020 at 03:49 AM

      Rooftop Water


      I am on a rooftop. There is a depression in the roof, that can be lined with a tarp and then filled with water. I think about doing this, because I think it would be nice to wade/swim. But it is getting dark fast and I don’t really want to be swimming when it gets dark.

      Con Man in Coffin

      Trying to remember the proper order of events here…

      There is a guy in a bar. He is playing some kind of a game with the person behind the bar. I think it’s some kind of gambling game. I think he also cheats. Then someone comes to arrest him, but he escapes. The guy (who might be me by this point, I’m not sure) looks for a place to hide. He goes to the back of the building he is in, which appears to be a cabinet making shop or something. He looks for something to hide in, and chooses a long, coffin-like box…

      …Later, someone buys the box, with the man still inside. He then remains hidden while this family takes it home and places it in their house. I don’t quite know what it is they are supposed to be doing with this coffin, but I/he is waiting for a chance to climb out. At one point, he can see that there is a fire starting downstairs. The family puts it out, but somewhere around here the guy starts praying for Jesus to help him…

      …The man escapes. I/he tries to find a way out, going into an outer room of the building and then outside. The family is not watching, so he runs behind a garage, into a garden area, and eventually makes his way to freedom…

      …I think that later, there is someone tying a ribbon around the former con man’s neck, as though to reward him for no longer being a con artist…

      Assisting the Clock/Piano Repairman

      I have to help someone do some work. In order to do so, I need a measuring stick of the proper length. I look at a couple, and choose one that I think will work. It feels as though I am under pressure to “prove” myself or something.

      The repair guy shows up. He is maybe 60-ish, and seems more friendly than I might have expected. He has the air of an eccentric professor. We get to work on a clock, which I need to steady while he does something with it. Then we are working on a piano, and he starts playing music with one hand. He is very impressive in his musical abilities, and a small crowd of people gather. Since he seems to be taking some time to play music, I sit down to watch…

      Water Adventures

      I have a little boat. A very little boat. It is kind of like a box, really, maybe 2 feet long and 1.5 feet wide. I also have a little paddle to go with this box. I think I am with my family on some water. We go boating away somewhere…

      …Tying up the boat… untying… I jump over something in my boat and land in another section of water (?)… My dad and brother follow me… My brother tries to dive under some obstruction, but gets stuck partway under. I rescue him. My dad dives into the water elsewhere, and says that it is very cold. Apparently the water is very cold in some places…

      …(Same dream? Before or after, I’m not sure) we are on what I think is an island. It seems that there are some antagonists taking over, and they make it to some land that is close to where we are. There are only a couple of us, and there are a bunch of them. But, we remember something we watched on a movie or TV show one time, and make explosives with dried grass. This seems to work well, and I think we defeat the bad guys…

      Fragment (was I lucid? I don’t remember!)

      I am walking through the library of my former college. I see a former classmate from a different college sitting there, but I don’t say hi to him. I keep on walking, and see that the library is full of stuff other than books. This seems odd, and I think I should do a reality check. I do a nose pinch, but I don’t remember what happens after that!
    3. 7/23/20

      by , 07-24-2020 at 03:49 AM

      Rooftop Water


      I am on a rooftop. There is a depression in the roof, that can be lined with a tarp and then filled with water. I think about doing this, because I think it would be nice to wade/swim. But it is getting dark fast and I don’t really want to be swimming when it gets dark.

      Con Man in Coffin

      Trying to remember the proper order of events here…

      There is a guy in a bar. He is playing some kind of a game with the person behind the bar. I think it’s some kind of gambling game. I think he also cheats. Then someone comes to arrest him, but he escapes. The guy (who might be me by this point, I’m not sure) looks for a place to hide. He goes to the back of the building he is in, which appears to be a cabinet making shop or something. He looks for something to hide in, and chooses a long, coffin-like box…

      …Later, someone buys the box, with the man still inside. He then remains hidden while this family takes it home and places it in their house. I don’t quite know what it is they are supposed to be doing with this coffin, but I/he is waiting for a chance to climb out. At one point, he can see that there is a fire starting downstairs. The family puts it out, but somewhere around here the guy starts praying for Jesus to help him…

      …The man escapes. I/he tries to find a way out, going into an outer room of the building and then outside. The family is not watching, so he runs behind a garage, into a garden area, and eventually makes his way to freedom…

      …I think that later, there is someone tying a ribbon around the former con man’s neck, as though to reward him for no longer being a con artist…

      Assisting the Clock/Piano Repairman

      I have to help someone do some work. In order to do so, I need a measuring stick of the proper length. I look at a couple, and choose one that I think will work. It feels as though I am under pressure to “prove” myself or something.

      The repair guy shows up. He is maybe 60-ish, and seems more friendly than I might have expected. He has the air of an eccentric professor. We get to work on a clock, which I need to steady while he does something with it. Then we are working on a piano, and he starts playing music with one hand. He is very impressive in his musical abilities, and a small crowd of people gather. Since he seems to be taking some time to play music, I sit down to watch…

      Water Adventures

      I have a little boat. A very little boat. It is kind of like a box, really, maybe 2 feet long and 1.5 feet wide. I also have a little paddle to go with this box. I think I am with my family on some water. We go boating away somewhere…

      …Tying up the boat… untying… I jump over something in my boat and land in another section of water (?)… My dad and brother follow me… My brother tries to dive under some obstruction, but gets stuck partway under. I rescue him. My dad dives into the water elsewhere, and says that it is very cold. Apparently the water is very cold in some places…

      …(Same dream? Before or after, I’m not sure) we are on what I think is an island. It seems that there are some antagonists taking over, and they make it to some land that is close to where we are. There are only a couple of us, and there are a bunch of them. But, we remember something we watched on a movie or TV show one time, and make explosives with dried grass. This seems to work well, and I think we defeat the bad guys…

      Fragment (was I lucid? I don’t remember!)

      I am walking through the library of my former college. I see a former classmate from a different college sitting there, but I don’t say hi to him. I keep on walking, and see that the library is full of stuff other than books. This seems odd, and I think I should do a reality check. I do a nose pinch, but I don’t remember what happens after that!
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    4. A Very Brief Lucid Dream (LD)

      by , 07-23-2020 at 08:28 PM
      This dream was long (I'll skip to the lucid bit), and I had wandered inside a discount store...

      I was walking through the aisles, as I had already done only moments ago. As I went about, I became a little suspicious about the place. I pretended I was lucid and seeing that my goal was to prevent myself from waking up, I figured it proper to concentrate on an aspect of the dream to stabilize it. I was already on the far side to the left so, I chose the wall as my object of focus. This wall had a continuous blue stripe in the middle, and I stared at it while I paced from one corner of the space to the next.

      At first it was the pattern on the wall which made things odd. Huh, this looks familiar, I thought. It was the activity however, which made me really doubt my place in here.

      Wait, I am dreaming... Ok, where is my real body?

      The answer again, was obvious: My real body is lying in bed. This is a dream.

      With that confirmation I became fully conscious, but with the realization came a pressure around my sides, and the dream appeared to be dying down (I'm not sure why this keeps happening). With the little time I had, I figured it was best to keep staring at the wall. My eyes fixed on that blue stripe until I noticed my surroundings coming back into view. And then, I heard a voice behind me; the sound was so loud and clear it startled me. I was being sucked into this world and it was too real. I got too excited unfortunately, and the pressure increased in strength once more. The dream collapsed.

      I did not know if I was really awake. A few seconds later I saw a screen of gray mist. It spawned in a circle around me and I took it as a sign of a transition period. Maybe if I remained still a new dream would form. At least, that's what I thought, though the pressure was already unbearable by this point. I tried resisting it, but it was too much and I felt forced to wake up for good.

      Updated 07-23-2020 at 10:20 PM by 92425

      Categories
      lucid
    5. First lucid in a while!!!

      by , 07-23-2020 at 02:56 PM
      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      7/23/2020
      Fell asleep at ~1AM.
      Woke up at 6:30AM
      Woke up at 8AM, wrote down 1 tag
      Woke up at 9:30, chilled for a while and wrote down 1 tag

      What to work on: Using SSILD and becoming lucid
      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      Dream 1: I was out front of our house and lou manillo came to tell me to water the grass this weekend. After speaking with him, his father came out and told me to water the grass this weekend too.

      Dream 2(partly lucid!): I was at some school and had been working out really hard. I did some sort of circuit around the school. After I wanted to go home and had to use Evans car. After starting his car I couldn't find a brake. I went slowly and just avoided things, I wasnt able to stop often. I played around by pressingthe park button to stop, I tried lifting the gas pedal and also dropping the steering wheel. The steering wheel idea worked. I was driving and was vividly taking in the scenery. I was in an urban area with lots of homes. The roads were very inconsistent, sometimes pavement, sometimes really sketchy dirt roads. I recognized some landmarks every once in a while and tried to get home. I realized that the geographical area makes no sense, its always changing. This combined with my experience of the malfunctioning car made me lucid. I wanted to get home as fast as possible and it started flooding. At this point the car was basically a floating cushion and a steering wheel. I floated up with the car until the floot brought us to the top of a tall building. I grabbed the top and the flood started to recede. I climbed on top and wanted to fly home now. I was looking around and thinking about how I could fly because I knew at that point that if I tried I wouldn't make it, I would just fall into the water. The flood started rising and falling again. Thats the last part I remember from the dream.
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , side notes
    6. 7/22/20

      by , 07-22-2020 at 03:32 PM
      Lucid Diving

      I am watching something that one of my friends posted on social media. It is a video of herself talking about how you should not limit yourself to just one boyfriend or girlfriend. As long as you don’t do anything to make the other ones jealous, you can have three of them or so until you get married (three at once, that is). She makes an analogy to buying a car. This speech surprises me and kind of upsets me, because I didn’t think she was that kind of a girl. I think about making some reply to her…

      …I am sitting somewhere looking at a picture of a house on the internet. I realize that this house looks just like the one that is in front of me across the street. What a coincidence! Then I think that perhaps I should do a reality check. Sure enough, it’s a dream.

      I go down to a pond (or river, perhaps). I decide that it would be interesting to go under water. The pond is kind of dirty and murky, but that doesn’t matter too much since this is a dream. I dive in. It is difficult to see, so I call out for more clarity or visibility, or something. The water lightens up and it is easier to see. I think I also do another reality check to reinforce my lucidity. I dive down to the bottom. I think it would be neat to see how far down I can go, even through the bottom, so I kind of start digging into the sediment. Then I think I have a false awakening…


      …(Not sure if this is the same dream. I feel like it was.) Instructing students in a lab. Part of the lab involves using a microscope (in my dream it’s called a laser scanner, or something). I don’t really remember how to use it, and I try to get someone to show me…

      Fragments

      …There is a mem about some political figure. I look for this online, in the context of Star Trek…

      …Something involving a scene that, earlier, I was supposed to remember and sketch for some reason (I think). There is a stop sign hanging from the ceiling, and some tough superhero-type guy there. I know at some point he is going to knock the sign down…
    7. Literature Class

      by , 07-22-2020 at 01:16 PM (Life's Recollections)
      Awake/explanation
      Normal dream
      Lucid dream

      I have a slight dream fragment from the earlier in the night where I was moving around in some kind of winter tundra station filled with cameras and automated patrols. I don't know what I was doing there but I kept destroying/hacking cameras and trying to get deeper and deeper in. I think this was influenced by a recent playthrough of BioShock.

      A more complete fragment from right when I woke up: An older (say, 60) white man enters into the office of a younger (say, 30) black man and they begin discussing some kind of manuscript for a book that the younger man has written. He offers it to the older guy, who sits down in a chair and begins to read, and quickly he tosses it onto the desk and seems disappointed. He says something like, "why are you wasting your talent writing something like this?" and I realize (as an outside observer) that the relationship between the two is that the older man was a mentor to the younger at some point, and he feels the younger man is selling out with this writing.

      They begin having a back and forth discussion, with the older man suggesting things like that the writing is using a basic structure and that it's totally derivative, and the younger man pushes back pointing out great works that use basic structures, but he also seems like he is self-conscious about it too. At some point in the discussion there's a tipping point and he simply asks the older man to leave his office. The older man stands up sadly/angrily, and walks out.

      I see him some days later wandering into a literature class at a community college. Now I'm with him, and as we enter the room there are 4 students sitting at a semi-circle table, with their professor in the middle, and they're all holding books and seem to be having quite a good time. There are three girls, one boy, and the professor is a woman. As we walk in, the older man apologizes for joining the class midway through the semester and the professor waves it off, saying that the focus in her class is more on finding your own way to connect with literature, and that you don't need to see some curriculum to pull that off.

      At this point, the boy (wearing a backwards cap and a black t-shirt, he has some stubble as well) speaks up and points out that I looked like I had my reservations (I guess I did, any class I've ever taken that wasn't a strict teacher/student relationship has usually been a nightmare) and in response he simply held up a piece of paper with a watercolor spiral on it, blackish-green. I blinked, and he said, "when I first tried this I was embarrassed, but I found out that something that helps me focus on a book and think more deeply about it is to draw or paint something simple like this with one hand while I'm reading it. I don't think it's really art, it's more like a fidget toy, but sometimes I choose colors that remind me of the story."

      The older man seems impressed by this and we exchange looks, then the blonde girl wearing a white top on the very right side of the table nervously smiles and says, "Hi, I'm... Serenity-- you can call me Serenity if you want-- my middle name is Hannah?" Everyone at the table laughs. "Nobody calls me Serenity," she finishes. The girl to her right (one space to our left, with shoulder length brunette hair, and a burgundy top) begins to speak too, but in the middle of her speaking
      I woke up, and couldn't tell you anymore for the life of me what she had started to say. She started with her name too but it's now lost to the aether.

      I thought the idea of drawing repetitive art while reading was pretty good too when I was asleep, but now that I'm awake I'm not so sure, lol, in theory it sounds nice but in practice it seems like a pain in the butt and like it would just make it way harder to focus. Maybe if it was an audio-book.

      Updated 07-22-2020 at 01:20 PM by 24709

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    8. 22 Jul: Engaging with my teacher's attendants

      by , 07-22-2020 at 12:29 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Attending my teacher's teachings, sitting front row. There are 3 Asian ladies, including his current partner EC, attending to his needs, but there is the rumor that I might be trying to steal their position. I assure I am not. My teacher exchanges just a few quick looks with me, his eyes eager to see me, but nothing else. Later on, some lamas or monks take me for a walk and say they heard I am an humble person and want to know if that is true. I say I am not sure and think about it for a while. I reply that I am aware of who I am but yes, I am humble in the sense I am also very aware of my character flaws and I don't feel like I am better or above anyone else. They take me to a kind of room in an attic. When I am there I recognize it is the meditation room of JKCL. I kneel on the floor and touch some pretty tiles where he sat practicing, feeling emotional. I then see a journal on a table with his notes about travels and some old pics of exotic places he went. I am met by two of the ladies from before (but not EC) and they are now being kind to me. They invite me for a weekend at some really nice place, to make plans with them about something. I accept.
    9. More from early morning 7/21/20

      by , 07-22-2020 at 04:44 AM
      8:00

      Fragments

      …I used my Grandfather’s teapot, or something. I decide that I will get him a new one…

      …Handing out pamphlets for some kind of a program where people can work and have money for tuition (or just have tuition paid, something like that)…

      …I get a nose bleed. I don’t remember too much about this dream, and what I do remember is kind of disgusting, so I won’t give the details…

      10:55

      Fragments, with many dream signs

      …It is time to exchange gifts (Birthday gifts?) with my brother and father. I and am looking through some things that I had set aside earlier, I think. They are books. I think I’m worried that I don’t have enough, especially for my brother…

      …Something about wearing clothes that I think make me look like a bum…

      …People are being given credit for something. Like a movie, or a scholarly work, or something. I am mentioned, because I helped (though not very much). There is a lady who thought she had helped enough to be there too, but she wasn’t mentioned. This seems to upset her, and the guy next to her puts his arm around her (or some such gesture) to support and comfort her…

      …Going up some carpeted stairs. I am looking for other parts of the building for some reason. There seem to be some little kids following me…

      …The Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith (1970s version) are in a hotel room. There is something about a blanket. They share a bed in the hotel room, which I don’t think they should do. However, I remember that something happened to the other bed in the room so they might not have much choice…

      …There is something in my ear. At first, it seems to be a tattoo. Then maybe a bug? When I finally get it out and look at it, is a skull bone from some kind of fish…

      …I am in a hospital-like building. I’m wandering around, not sure why exactly. I don’t want to get caught, and I recall somebody saying something about how I should hang around the doors that lead from one area to another. That way, the people in one area will think I work in the other area, and not bother me. I also pretend to look at stuff on the wall…

      …I am underneath a bridge. The water is kind of deep, and I’m trying to think of what would be the best place to land if I had to drop there. I decide close to the bank would be a good idea. Then I drop there (I don’t know where from). I crawl out from under the bridge and into an area that seems to be like a deserted industrial area. This might have led into the hospital scene above, but I don’t remember…
    10. Early Morning, 7/21/20

      by , 07-22-2020 at 04:43 AM
      Woke up around 3:30. Recall the following:

      Person with unusual head (doesn’t look like a head, more like a ball). Some kind of math involved? The person turns…

      …I have a Bible that looks like Myst: The Book of Atrus hardcover.

      …Water, island (?). About dream control, but not lucid. I think that it would be easier to do something unusual like suck up the water around me and spit it out than to try to do something less unusual. I then go under water…

      Driving. Something about telling the truth about something. It involved people being treated harshly…

      6:20am

      “Labyrinth” in chimney

      We (Dad and I, perhaps) are doing something with the mulberry tree at my Grandparents’ old house. This involves taking apart one of the branches, in which is a piece of metal. This appears to go along with some other metal pieces, and attach in a chimney to perform some unknown function. This has been a mystery of the house for some time. I think of it as a labrynth for some reason. There are some symbols in the chimney describing what it is that you are supposed to do, but the symbols are hard to interpret.

      I think the mulberries on the tree were of a very pale color, almost white.

      Also, I think this may be a part of the dream:

      There is something down in the basement that goes along with the labyrinth. It is behind a lot of my clutter, though. I go down to look for it.

      Fragments

      I don’t remember much details of this dream. Here are the notes I took when I woke up:

      Scary place, much shooting, can get trapped there, getaway at end
    11. Log 1909 - Clear Aqueous Golem LD

      by , 07-21-2020 at 10:29 PM (Dream Logs DWN-12)
      Created Tuesday 21 July 2020

      What a relief. Thought I was on another dry-spell.

      Spoiler for Kinda a long read:

      Updated 07-23-2020 at 05:02 AM by 89930

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , dream fragment
    12. Bit by Bit Getting the Hang of Things (LD)

      by , 07-21-2020 at 09:54 PM
      At first there were only people that came and went within the walls of some facility. Then, the shot is that of a skinny young lad dressed in green uniform. I think he worked as a security guard. He stood behind a screen, overseeing the premises and calling out people when their turn was due. Those named would then have an appointment with a lady of short black hair.

      I noticed they had trouble locating one of their clients, a mother with her child; the boy would be no older than 10. I can see her son outside the reception, waiting in line for his turn, but his mother is missing. I had a memory of watching her run to the restroom with tears in her eyes. They seemed like a humble little family. I cut back to the security officer. Her boss was impatient because her clients had not arrived.

      The scene changed in the blink of an eye. I sat on a desk in a classroom. There's a whiteboard at the front wall. To my right was a good friend of mine (I misremembered whom exactly when I woke up). I scanned the area and spotted another one of my friends seated behind me.

      "Well look who it is, M. N., doctor in medicine," I said with a smile. He knew I was messing with him. He chuckled, then got back to his things.

      We three chat for a while until a teacher entered the view, a young lady, the same lady from the reception. She ordered to open our books to page 327 (might be around the 300 - 400 pages) then went ahead to write on the board.

      Everyone pulled out their books except me. I couldn't find mine. I stared at the other desks and saw it had a hardcover with green all around. My desk was enclosed by bookshelves standing on my left and front sides. My eyes jumped from left to right of each shelf but every different book inside was green. I grabbed any random one, turned to the page, but it didn't match the one from my friends. I returned it anxiously. My vision was cloudy by now, I couldn't see nor think straight. The teacher was drawing a series of squares on the board, was this an art class? She paced around the room, verifying everyone had their book. Then, a false memory hit me; I saw the book I wanted inside my backpack.

      Once again my view jumped and this time, a small rectangular window came into view. This was a different room, a bedroom. Contrary to the classroom, which was overcrowded and noisy, there was only a bed and a window here. The bed was to my left, like the bookshelf was before it. I stared at the window, it was so blue outside. I noticed my perspective getting sucked bit by bit into it. The more I focused on the window, the more drawn to it and the easier it was for me to move toward it. As I approached the bed I feared bumping on it but my worries dwindled when I saw I could glide over it. I kept coming closer to the other side until it dawned on me that this was a dream. I don't know what it was that made me know, but the whole experience of concentrating on that window made me remember of the truth of things.

      Upon that realization I started backtracking now. Soon, I went up in the sky between clouds and sun. A city extended below. I wanted to walk the streets, their districts and landmarks, I wanted to explore. What lied in the distance? But I kept pulling away, removed from everything.

      I prod my mind and it was so easy this time, where is my real body?

      It's obvious isn't it, my real body is lying in bed, and this is a dream.

      Sure enough, I could feel my body in bed and my consciousness inside my head within the dream. An uncomfortable sensation began growing inside. I knew where this ended, what it meant. It stopped around my waist. I don't want to leave! The dream felt distant now, my awareness trapped in between it and the real world. I wanted to go inside, to feel completely in the dream world, if only for a few minutes. I wanted to stop moving. I thought about going forward this time, I commanded in my head of my intention, but it was of no use. I went back and flew as far away until I woke up in my bed.



      I must learn dream control, though I'm glad for another lucid dream, however short.

      Updated 08-12-2020 at 08:37 AM by 92425

      Categories
      lucid
    13. cxxi.

      by , 07-21-2020 at 01:28 PM
      11th May

      Dream:Earliest dream. I was in some place in the countryside, the dream was very vivid. I had my boots on, some pants, some t-shirt and my leather jacket. H was walking with me, I remember feeling the gravel beneath my feet.

      In the dream I was recognising the place. I'd been here before in some other dream. This prompted me to tell H about it and he sort of dismissed it and even though I tried doing some reality checks with my hands, I didn't become aware of the dream state.

      In my dream mind, this place wasn't exactly like how I remembered it from the other dream anyway. There was a gravel road and some buildings and some gravel plots along it, but the original place I was remembering had a normal road and it carried on, it didn't end abruptly like this gravel road. It reminded me of the southern areas of my country. There were pine trees and short grass that looked a bit dry. The dirt was fine and dusty and caramel coloured. The sky was a little bit cloudy but mostly clear and it seemed like the sun was setting. I remember looking all around me to try and identify anything from the original dream, but I felt there was nothing. The surroundings looked vast and vague at the same time.

      After walking along the road with H for a while, we eventually came to a very large gravel lot, like a parking lot, clearly meant for that use. I remember H telling me to wait here. He had to get some book, or something, from town? I said I'd wait. I didn't know what I'd do in the meantime and I had the feeling that it would be a long time. Then my awareness transitioned to some other place.

      A dream city. H wasn't here and though I have forgotten the dream plot exactly, there was something about a family that had to get to where I just was (the gravel/pine tree area). I was here to speed things along somehow? Something about a gang going after this family.

      Then details are missing; I remember getting into a car, a silver convertible and also trying to fix down a panel on the boot or something. Then the mom of this family, who was driving, started the car before I'd even sat down and put a seatbelt on. She raced through the streets and I had little balance, tipping backwards and holding the open and swaying door with my right hand. I was partially sat on her son's legs, eventually he managed to help me in, but it took a while.

      Some other part of the same dream. The chronology of the sequences is muddled. I went into a tall building and I remember carrying my black backpack and climbing lots of stairs. I didn't feel tired at all and my legs didn't hurt. Along the way, some young adult (early 20s) tugged on my backpack to have an easier time climbing. I resent that he'd done that but I said nothing and only gave him a look that made it clear to him not to do it again.

      The staircase was very much like the one from my university. Very narrow, but no lift at each landing. Eventually I got to a pretty high floor, and it looked like my virtual gallery in some sense. There was a high open space that my fear of heights creep in a little, because there were no railings at all. I remember wondering what H would think of that.

      Just behind the stairwell I'd come from, was a platform/floor and I climbed over its ledge without too much effort. It led down a dark unlit and narrow corridor. At the end of it was another stairwell, to my left. It went both up and down. There was a door directly in front of me. A white service door to my right after a short and narrow yard-long hall. Light came through the edges of this white service door and the stairs going up also allowed some natural light in from above, but not much, as it was still very dark in here.

      On the stairs, a bunch of young adults (early 20s again) were sat on the steps. They looked at me, but more like through me. I looked back for a moment, but then ignored them. I tried opening the door in front of me but it was well shut and locked. I went back through the narrow corridor I'd come from and then skipped over the gap with the stairs and took a left turn. My mind blocked out the open space with no railings.

      There were corridors and rooms this way. Many contrasts of dark and narrow halls with natural light from some windows. The floor was carpeted, not sure what colour, but I remember a cleaning lady. It just looked like a hotel in many regards but the rooms belonged to specific people who worked here or something, like an office area in a university. I can't recall the rest of the dream.



      Notes:
      - In many ways, the last part of the dream was just some mish-mash of my first university's building and my general concepts of offices and temporary living spaces. The presence of the people in their early 20s ties in with the "university" feel.
      - It can feel a bit annoying to ask H about the reality and have him only make me dismiss what I'm thinking about, though since then I have tried to imagine the situation occurring differently.
      - My leather jacket seems to have been a recurring feature for some recent dreams but I haven't found any particular reason why just yet, since I have not worn it in a long time. The only thing that comes to mind is that feels like a bit of a shame that I just let it sit unused for quite a long time, but on the other hand it is usually too hot for me to wear it.
      - Dreams where physical activity occurs are always refreshing for me in some mental sense. Being able to do intense physical activity such as climbing many flights of stairs can feel rewarding and the amount of inordinate pain I would get from doing it in real-life makes it feel like a waste of my energy and time. In dreams my low thresholds of pain don't really materialise and it is often the only time I get a break from feeling pain and discomfort throughout a day.
    14. cxx.

      by , 07-21-2020 at 01:04 PM
      More catching up...



      12th May

      Dream:


      Dream recall faded somewhat. In the first dream I remember being at a house with H and someone else, a girl our age, but not sure who she was. We were all very hungry, and it was about noon. Someone suggested ordering pizza, but I didn't want to for some reason, so instead I got on the phone and ordered a man made of food or something, like synthetic food. He was supposed to get there by two in the afternoon. I figured when he arrived, I'd "butcher" him for the synthetic meat he was made of, wondering which bits H would be picky about, but as time went by, it seemed like he wasn't going to turn up at all, which made me regret not ordering the pizza in the first place.

      Then I remember going through some sort of tunnels or halls, in an old style (20-60s) building. No natural lighting, just incandescent lights. Gave me the impression of night time. I was still hungry, but I came to a room where there was something written over its double doors (I forget what) that suggested I could eat there. I went in and there was a bar-like counter and I talked to a woman in her 40s and asked her about eating or something. I told her I realised it was late but I really needed something and she was kind and tried to figure something out. At some point my parents showed up and start commenting on the food-making. I forget what else happened.

      Dream fragment:


      A different dream or perhaps after a different segment I've forgotten. Only small bits, many of which just ordinary. But in the end of this dream I was walking around a downtown area with my dad, H and someone else I think. There was a man announcing that free testing for a certain genetic or auto-immune disease or something would be available. I muttered to myself about it not being available to me freely in the past and then the man approached me, unconcerned by my complaints but addressing them; he began to inspect my nose with his hands and as he did he said "normally we wouldn't check people who have infections on their nose because this excludes them" or something to this effect. His attitude and face while going over my nose and talking to me suggested (some medical) curiosity. Just as he was about to move on to inspect some other part of my face or body, the doorbell in reality rang and I woke up, having to answer the door.



      Notes:
      - Of these two dreams, as I am re-reading them, I actually remember the second fragment better than I do the first dream. There was an underground parking lot or something around the middle or beginning of that dream, which was where me, my dad, H and the other person had come from, out onto the downtown street area.
      - I remember in the first dream I had visualised or seen a picture of what the synthetic man was to look like. For some reason I have the memory of wooden flooring in the first house of that dream.
      - The part in the second dream where I was muttering to myself is probably a crossed over feeling of frustration at the lack of help I receive for my condition from official systems. The follow-up interaction with the man is probably representative of some of my hope that with chance and timing I might actually get someone to genuinely be interested in giving me the help I need, rather than the help that gets pushed onto me.
    15. Mission Impossible Football

      by , 07-20-2020 at 11:54 PM
      People are playing a game of football, but it isn’t a real game of football. This is some kind of a trick, and there are explosives and gas bombs and such hidden in the equipment. In the end, the real football game starts up, and I wonder about the believability of people wanting to play another game after having just played a game. There is also something about somebody singing (the National Anthem?) The fake guy sounded OK, but the real guy who was supposed to sing is supposed to sound better. This takes place, I think, on the UA campus…
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