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When I came back from the restroom I was arguing with Myrna about the nature of destiny and if life was predestined from the beginning. None of us were backing down from the argument, and I was getting frustrated. At last I reached my tipping point and sat down outside the bathroom doors. Myrna continued along the hallway with Cesar until they reached the end. It was a hall with beige marble walls facing a long mirror. While I had dinner a waiter stood nearby. Myrna waits enough to get desperate and walks back to me. I realize it's time to leave, so I get up to put an end to this childish tantrum.

"It's getting late! Look, you forgot the papers!" she says, while opening the door to the restrooms.

I follow her to a most elegant and sparkling facility of crystal black marble walls. She brakes step by the door to one of the bathroom stalls and opens it. What I saw when I turned to look was a toilet with the lid down, and on top of it, a small piece of parchment, nicely folded (my reality check). I worriedly grab it and we leave to meet up with Cesar.

We turned the corner and reached a foyer. People are lined on either side facing an entrance. Cesar sits on a bench in the center, waiting for us.

The next thing I know is that we're sitting in a small theater. A movie is projected on a widescreen; it is a horror film. I can hear Ara's screams echoing around the theater; she's always like this when watching anything scary.

"Ara where are you!" I shout.

A voice booms overhead, without a specific source, "Well, find out where I'm sitting!" I scan the area but it is very dark to see. It takes me a little while but I spot her silhouette by the front seats to my left. A skeleton appears on the screen. Everyone screams. Ara laughs hysterically.



I'll skip now to the moment I got lucid as the next sections of the dream are not relevant to tell. Moments prior to this stage in the dream, I heard a voice convey to me that demons could be seen if we directed our gaze to the upper left corner of our vision.



I see a play or theater room. The space opened to a large rectangular area below a step. There were sliding doors to the front and right sides of the room. A couple of windows to the back allowed for some light to shine through. Some cushions and a white sofa were neatly organized around. Not much is happening here except I'm growing scared but I don't know why. I remember then what the voice had said.

I play out the words in my head again and again, There is a demon on the upper left corner of my vision. I do not want to look but curiosity slowly pulls my head against resistance. In that remembrance, of the voice, of the dreaded words, I recall a similar event from another dream, a lucid dream. In it I had feared a monster at the other side of a door. It is through this memory that I finally find out I'm dreaming.

I hear the words, this is a dream, loud and clear in my head. I see nothing in the upper left corner of my vision.

With that I immediately feel different; it is a familiar sensation, a lucid sensation. Lucid, I'm uncertain on what it is I want to do. I change places. A corridor (there's always a corridor) appears before me. I believe I haven't left this residence. I'm fearful once more. Then, I remember MoonageDaydream's advice, about facing what scares you. Doing this is intimidating to me, but I reason there is nothing to lose by trying. I stand resolute and hope whatever it is I see isn't traumatizing. Nothing ever comes out from anywhere, to my fortune.

My vision now spins without me intending it. I can only make out a set of windows, one after the other. While I keep spinning I know I'm losing grip of the dream. I remember Sageous' advice here; he commented we should use this moment of lucidity to recover the memory of our sleeping body.

Where is my body? Where is my real body? I ask numerous times. I can't seem to remember where it is my body lies! I concentrate, though I am so drowsy! I can't for the life of me access this thought, yet I can feel my real body lying in bed. It doesn't take me long to finally wake up to reality.

…Doing archaeology somewhere. I dig up some artifacts, which include some strange round things. I don’t think people are impressed by that. There is some other stuff too though. Also, there are holes that have been dug and filled in again, and I am looking through some of the filled holes. I find some metal artifacts associated with one of them…

…In a large building. I go up some stairs to the second floor, which has a kind of mezzanine surrounding the first floor on one side and another section off to my right. There is a picture of C-- here, a girl I recently met…

…In a large building, going up and down stairs. The building reminds me of one of the administrative buildings on the campus of IUP. There is a girl going down one set of stairs, and I am going down another. I want to be the first to reach the bottom floor…

…Watching the new Dr. Who. I had speculated in waking life that I dream more about the classic Dr. Who than the new version, and in my dream I wonder if that is true. I don’t become lucid though…

Awake/explanation
Normal dream
Lucid dream

There's a weird thing that happens to me sometimes that, last time it happened I made a mental note I would realize what's happening: sometimes I guess my eyes aren't shut all the way when I'm sleeping and when it begins to get light outside, I have a false awakening where I'm lying in bed staring at my lit up wall, or can see the light from the window, and I can move my body, but my vision won't change. I can 'close my eyes' and move my body, then open them again and it will still just be the same sight. I'll be stuck in that one position, because I can't move in real life, so all I can see is what my eyes are seeing.

This morning I was having a dream where I was riding a school-bus that a dog got onto, and I helped to get it off because people were being impatient/mean to it. When I got it off I walked it up to the house it came from and knocked a couple times and opened the door, and it went inside, and out came a very pretty girl I went to school with in high-school who seemed happy to see me. I stood there talking to her for just a second about an art show or something that was happening, when she said, "Is that your bus?" and I turned and looked to see the schoolbus I had been riding was driving away without me.

I jogged after it for a little bit thinking it would stop again, then it rounded the corner and I jogged through someone's yard trying to catch it on the other side, but it passed and was long gone by the time I got there. At that point I simply turned around and started walking the opposite direction again, thinking, "I'll just walk home then." I was in kind of a rough neighborhood and other kids who had just gotten off school were roaming around looking to make trouble/have fun outside. I tried to avoid them mostly and get home as soon as possible.

Almost before I knew it, I was home, it was dark, and my dad was in the kitchen making dinner. I explained to him I had missed the bus, and had to walk home, and that this was something that happens in my dreams a lot so it was strange that it had happened in real life. Next I commented, "you know, I got home very quickly, maybe the bus thing was a dream and now I'm awake." My dad sort of encouraged this thought process, and for some reason I didn't reality check but simply played along-- but all the sudden my eyes opened and I was met with a familiar sensation as described up top: I was lying on my side in my room and seeing the light from the window, and went to stand, but my body moved and not my sight.

I stopped for a minute when this happened. Sometimes I get caught up in the confusion of this feeling like I have gone blind somehow, or at any rate feeling something is wrong and wanting to wake up. I felt this urge again but stopped for a moment, and had a thought: if I can move my body, even if I can't move my vision, I can plug my nose and reality check to ensure that I'm dreaming. So I did.

"Okay," I thought, "so I'm dreaming, but I still can't move..."

I began trying different things. I closed my eyes moved around viciously and opened them to the same sight again. I closed my eyes and imagined being somewhere else and opened them and saw the same thing. Eventually I simply imagined myself getting up and walking out of the room. At first this was a very faint imagining that seemed to happen purely in the dark, but occasionally I would notice the light from my window again and 'shut my eyes' in the dream once more. I imagined walking into the kitchen, and soon this became a real dream. As I went into the kitchen, I noticed my dad was still there, and he was facing against the wall-- the lighting in the room had gone somewhat spooky also.

I didn't like this and knew this was going to set a bad precedent, and I told him, "I just realized I was dreaming the whole time, and I want to wake up." He didn't respond to this but simply turned around and rushed across the room with inhuman speed towards me. I pushed him away and headed outside, thinking to just ignore the ominous feeling the dream was taking on and simply focus on waking myself up. Once I got outside, I walked across the deck and turned back and looked and my father came rushing out after me again, gliding across the floor almost as if in stop-motion, and grabbed me by the neck, turning his face this way and that, not saying anything.

I warned him, "I know I'm dreaming: you can't hurt me, but if you help me wake up I won't hurt you for trying to scare me" but he continued looking around and holding my neck, and I repeated, "do you know how I can wake up?"

He looked straight at me, and I didn't like it, so I gave him a gut punch that sent him flying off into the distance. He landed and rushed back, and I did it again, and a couple more times, and suddenly...

I woke up-- but I still couldn't move! Frustrated, I reached up and plugged my nose again: yep, still dreaming, still can't move because of the light from the window. At this point I began thrashing my body around violently, and soon I felt hands grabbing me all over, and I swung at what I couldn't see randomly, shouting, "Don't touch me! Get off of me!" The touches subsided but I still couldn't move from my spot.

I woke up again and almost thought I was awake for real until I tried to move, and still couldn't move! I plugged my nose, breathed, sighed, and thought: maybe if I just close my eyes, and turn myself over facing the opposite direction, then go back to sleep, I'll move my body in real life and be facing the wall. I did so, and of course it didn't work and when I opened my eyes I was staring at the familiar scene of my room with the lit window. I began thrashing around again somewhat randomly, hoping that with enough activity, I would just wake up.

And I woke up again. Annoyed by this point, I expected I was still dreaming and reached up to plug my nose, only to find out I was really awake this time.

In retrospect, it's clear I actually could dream with my eyes partially open if I could ignore the light long enough. If I had just relaxed and not been so desperate to wake up and roll over or something, perhaps I could have just had a decent lucid dream, but the dream took on an eerie quality once I wanted to wake up but couldn't. The idea of being lucid in this halfway between state was eerie to me I guess, and the dream reacted as a result by being weird and threatening (my dad DC's weirdness, and the phantom touches).

I will say: I'm proud I maintained control of my lucidity well enough to not panic in these moments or be frightened by the dream overly much. I did lash out at both the DC and the phantom touches, but I never lost the sense that I wasn't their "boss" (lol), or that they could hurt me somehow in a way I couldn't control. They were being weird and I didn't like it, but I wasn't afraid they'd hurt me and I couldn't stop them.

Unfortunately I don't know what to do when this happens. I have a sleeping mask now which I actually bought partially for this purpose, and partially for WILD practice (which I have been slacking on already). Maybe I could dream, but I keep having false awakenings because of the sight of the light. If I could just shut my eyes once I knew it was happening, but I can't. It's a shame, because it's a dead giveaway that I'm dreaming, and it's probably always going to make me lucid now if I realize what's happening, but then I'm just stuck as a result.

Perhaps next time I'll try more aggressively "shutting my dream eyes", and leaving them shut while waiting to see what happens there. That did extract me from the situation at least temporarily. If I remain positive about it and not expecting anything strange to happen or feeling eerie about it, maybe I can just have a normal dream despite the light in my eyes (though I expect false awakenings still).

7th May

Dream:

Don't remember the start but was in a game doing some crop-related things while I was appearing offline or something. All of a sudden, a female character shows up and starts punching me up with some flying fists. At first I assumed it was A but then I die and respawn and notice it's someone else that I don't know.

It's a Spanish player and we mostly speak in Spanish. I realise my accent is a bit broken but that doesn't stop me so much. I tell her I don't remember knowing her, I assume it's possible I've just forgotten who she is but she doesn't really answer the question or seem bothered by this, anyway. Then she starts telling me how she used to live on some place called something "Peak". In the dream I had some vague memory of it. I ask her if she had a place nearby on K and she insists not, but my dream memory tells me she did.

In any case, she then tells me how she'd lost everything. I realise I don't care about my place so much anymore and offer to give her some stuff and tell her we need to go to my place in the game. Most of this seems to take place on K. We then start going through some portals or something, and I start carrying her on my back for some reason. I remember some other players spotting us and staring for a minute.

Then eventually we're at my old (actual) home, it's night time and dark. I walk into the room that used to be L's and there's an extra bed like a sofa bed. There's a computer with an old CRT screen on the desk and I think about using it to give her some stuff? She asks me some questions and I answer, I think mostly about the room? I think she just looks like a person now and not a game character.

Then all of a sudden while we talk, my sibling T sits up. T had been sleeping on the extra bed all along and we somehow hadn't realised. Looked younger and not so scruffy? I apologise and say I didn't realise. I look at the screen for a moment and it has something like Diablo on it. We leave the room and go to my old room instead. But essentially, the exact same thing happens again there. I don't remember to question the dream-like nature of what just happened. Rest of dream recall is mostly gone. Scraps of being in the street and talking to this Spanish girl.

---

Notes:
- The initial context within the dream of giving my stuff away is a common occurrence anyway when I'm playing games in which you are able to hoard or accumulate stuff. I often end up giving stuff away because I have not created any particular attachment to it or feel like I might not be putting it to good use any time soon. One further note on this regard is that sometimes I feel that my kindness is taken but not appreciated, it becomes "old history" so to speak of rather quickly, with some people, while others do remember it for a long time.
- Although I wrote this dream months ago, I have the feeling that the computer screen in L's room was a CRT, but this may be a false memory now. When I wrote that it has something like Diablo on it, I think I meant that it had Diablo II just running but with nothing happening.

4th May

Fragment:

A few dreams, the last one was in some kind of hotel room with two of my cousins, from dad's side. I don't remember much furniture at all We had some backpacks, mine was nothing like I've ever owned however. It was blue, bulky and square-ish; I have seen these in the past and have wondered what it would be like to have one, often thinking they are "cool".

But for some reason, we all got naked; there was some kind of pretext about us being smelly at the end of the day or something; then the two of them went to shower. I remember peeking through the somewhat open bathroom door and seeing two walk-in shower/wetroom areas, but only one shower head/hose. C was washing herself, and then her sister in turns. I think they were giggling for some reason.

Dream:

Not sure where or how this one started but I was in a city; sunny and stray white clouds. I remember lots of cut limestone blocks in the buildingwork, so it was like areas from my old home. This place was very busy, it was like one of the town/city areas with lots of public space. R from university was there. At first I walked right past him, it took me a while to recognise him.

His hair was slightly curled rather than flat. He was sitting or leaning against a wide limestone edge and was sweet talking with his girlfriend who was practically in his face and vice versa. I retraced some steps back as I realised it was him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and greeted me, apparently happy to see him. I remember conversation, but not its content.

A transition? I'm somewhere entirely different, I can't recall the environment very well but I can only describe it as dirty and gritty. Dominant hues in red, orange and moss green.

There was a small apartment building here, not far from a road, fourty to sixty yards. The building had a kind of trough dug around it, but not very deep, no more than a foot deep. More like a small dip really, and outside the trough circling the building, was a effectively a circular pile of guns. There were so many piled up I can't even guess at the number. Some had bright colours. Reminds me of Borderlands somehow. I remember going inside and walking through some poorly lit halls until I came to a flat that was quite small, the door was wide open. It looked a mess. There were some closed curtains and the room was poorly lit too. Outside still seemed dark-ish.

I think I was here with someone, maybe H? But I don't remember what else happened in the room. I think there was a third person, a woman possibly. Then I remember being outside the building, I'm walking over the pile of guns carefully as I assume them all to be loaded. I look to my right and there's this shack made of corrugated panels or the like and there's a gang hanging out there.

Some woman, possibly the one from before, stands next to me and tells me I should go talk to them. They've been causing havoc for some time in the region/area. I agree at first but then I look down and see some blue and red grenade launchers. I pick them up, not as heavy as I might expect. I turn to the left and aim at a tree or something which is at a similar distance to me as the gang was. I fire a few practice shots. I then quickly turn back towards the gang and start firing a hail of grenades over their shack. They grab some guns and start running towards me shouting and shooting with poor aim. I remember noticing a health display of sorts over some of them that were injured. They got quite close, but I still kept using the grenades to fight them.

Recall fades a bit but then there was a transition and I remember being in some hallways, dark and moonlit. My recall stops about here.

This time I'm on a vast field, seems like a farm, a girl is riding a pony, attached to some wooden wagon. She's going around an aplpe tree, my view zooms into the girls face, and I notice she's a friend from my childhood. I feel transported to the wagon, I hang right behind it, but my friend haven't noticed. I grip and hold on tighter as she picks up the speed, now my feet are flapping in the air, just like a flag! The pressure in my hands are building so much that I feel an uncomftable pain, in the center of the palm, I let go one of my hands, just to see what's causing the pain. (To my surprise Im still holding an amethyst pendulum, that I wrapped around my fingers, before drifting to deep sleep!) I look at my hand, and it looks purple/blue! I'm dreaming! I immediately let go my other hand and get left behind with the wind.

I have landed in a small western village, to the distance I see I sign, apparently they're giving away some used items. I feel transported towards the sign and it has chaged to some other kind of advertaisment, I decide to take another glance at my hands and a quick rubbing. I go in the shop, and I don't see anybody at first, I look to my right, and two cowboys are aproaching towards me. They're holding two black frames, in both of them I see two naked cowboys, just wearing a brown hat, a big belt with shiny buckles and decorations, around their waste, and the typical cowboy boots. One of them says with an accent: "doh ya' wunt hem?" I say: "sure!" (thinking I could use them to frame my own artworks).
The other man asks: "are ya' from tha city?". I say: "no, but I live near the woods". He asks again: " do ya' know how to milk a cow?" (The instant click for the TOTM!!). I say: "no, but I bet I can milk one of ya'll hats!, this time I spin around to stabilize the dream, and when I slow down I ask one of the man: " may I have your hat?" he says: " well let's see what ya' can do!", then he hands me the brown hat.
I grabbed the hat by each end and start twisting it slowly, as it gets tighter and tighter, the hat starts to shrink. (I think I'm screwed, because that's not how someone would usually milk a cow!), so I turned the hat vertically and I started doing a pulling down motion, slowly, from the bottom end.

The hat is now looking more like a piping pastry bag, two silky drops coming down towards the floor! it works!, the man are just staring at it. I kneeled down, and I smell some honey with a hint of onion. (shit it must be the sweat of his forehad, I think) I dip my finger in it, and then tasted it, and as I tought, sweet and salty...I spitted out, and goes right on the man's boot, he reacts by saying: "dem boya' got lot'all boooaaalls!. I feel a punch coming, and I douge it. I try to run as fast as I can but I get tangled in one of the frames, one of the man grabs my shirt and shreds it off.. I drop to the floor and crawl under a counter, covered by some fabric, then I 'm looking at an uneven board, I see is a compartment on the floor, I opened quickly and go in some secret staircase. Now is pitch black, and I can feel my WL body, so I remain ralaxed. Then my body starts shaking..! (it's my youngest son Gabriel, rocking me back and fort, because he needs my company by his bed..so I go with him.

Spoiler for amethyst pendulum :

I dreamt about going through a desert trying to catch up with a friend, fighting weird monsters on the way...
...then I was on a bus full of weird people and alcoholics...I met a friend there ,but I was distracted by this naked man who had random patches of wet white fur on his body, I didnt see his private parts, but he may not have had them at all...

Morning of July 18, 2020. Saturday.

Dream #: 19,570-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



My waking-life identity is absent throughout this dreaming experience. My dream’s backstory emerges as an atypical narrative where I am pretending to be a high-ranking military officer. I have an unfamiliar younger male partner who is working with me. Even so, the outcome is to result in delivering something to a genuine naval ship or a high-ranking officer.

The narrative otherwise firstly links as a precursory factor to the usual instinctual summoning of imaginary kinaesthesia to vivify the dream state. In this case, the vehicle resembles a WWI US Standard B Liberty Army Truck, though with the driver’s side on the right. My partner and I are trying to convince an unknown civilian male to give us items from a research laboratory that relate to recent discoveries in molecular biology. He is uncertain if we are legitimate but decides to cooperate with us. He wants to ride with us as well, reflecting that he hoped he had put his trust in the right people.

My partner drives the truck as my dream vivifies, and night becomes day. The streets and high embankments are all white sand as we travel. At one point, the vehicle goes onto a small wooden raft, and it simultaneously takes us across a river as if the momentum of the truck put it in motion. We travel around for a few minutes on a battleship that has areas that make it appear more like a cargo ship.

The three of us stand outside a military base. A general walks out to greet us, and I salute him. He seems to recognize my partner and me but greets me as a “French pig.” I do not take it as an insult, but I am puzzled because I am supposed to be an American officer. The man we brought here does not seem to notice this contradiction. A private appears and will lead us to where we are to give what the other man took from the small town laboratory to the general.

My dream vivifies as imaginary kinaesthesia and physicality exponentially increase when I focus on my walking I try to maintain as a formal swagger.

We sit on what seems to be part of a dock. The general sits down farthest from the water’s edge. An unknown woman is nearby, and I consider I should show my identification. I intend to hold up my badge, but instead, hold my left hand up in a C shape as if holding an invisible one, as my summoning did not work. She does not say anything but appears slightly puzzled.

We give the general the item. It is a resealable sandwich bag containing chocolate chip cookies. After he eats one, he takes notice of one that is bigger and of a lighter color than the others. Baked within it is microfilm. He holds it up to the light and studies one section of exposed microfilm in a thinner area of the cookie. “This is what I expected,” he says, and thanks us.

---

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7/17/2020
Fell asleep at ~1AM.
Woke up at 6:30AM
Woke up at 8AM,
Woke up at 9:30, chilled for a while and wrote down tags for 1 dream

What to work on: Using SSILD and becoming lucid
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Dream 1(Baseball): I was going to an olympic festival with my family. There were many people going to celebrate and support their family members. One guy had a baby rhino on a leash. The rhino was SUPER excted and kept running around. At one point it got too excited and was causing trouble so the owner shortened the leash and made it mostly immobile. At this point it was mad and it looked like a big dog now with a ton of fur. We were going to play baseball against this other family during this festival. They weren't as good as we were. I asked if my dad brought my glove and he brought me one but it was really stiff. I played around with it for a bit and it was ok after.

Dream 2(Fire nature lady): I think this was connected to the last dream, we may have started talking about the history of the event and then this video started playing and I was seeing the video from first person perspective. There was this hand brushing off dead pine needles from trees. This happened for a while then the hand grabbed a branch. It held on for a bit and then I saw it was this thin old lady. She took her hand off and there were new little sprouts in the tree there. She was clearly someone very in touch with nature and had some kind of magical powers. People said she was actually evil though, she caused a big problem. She demonstrated her fire powers to people. I saw that like from a video and then became a person watching her. She was showing people she could make fire and then she killed everyone watching except for me, I as hidden a bit. I rebelled against everyones praise for her and said what she does is terrible! Everyone condemned me and I had to to the boring work sector to serve all the boring meaningless tasks.

Have not been posting, because my dream life is shot. I'm not getting enough sleep and not having any dreams that I could remember.

Until last night : )

I managed to sleep until it was bright outside, I'm thinking around 6:30am. Normally I Wake up around 3-4 am, even on days when I'm off and could sleep longer. I just wake up and worry.

But last night was great. Had a bunch of long and detailed dreams and I remembered them!

By now the details are gone, but not the excitement.

1. I'm in a room that seems to be in a hotel. Conference room. Obama is there, walking around, looking at things, waiting for something. Not in a suit, more casual. I walk up to him, and say "excuse me for bothering you, but would you mind if I shook your hand?" I knew that he is not the president anymore. He said "sure". And we shook hands. I also told him, how I was not interested in following politics, because all politicians are alike, until he was the president. I didn't want to overstay my welcome, so I ended it there.

I went back to my hotel and wanted to take my mom to see him, but I knew it was too long of a walk for her. So I didn't even mention it to her.

2. I walk outside behind some houses. It's a dark night and stars are out. I look up, hoping to see the new comet Newsome. I was trying to see it every morning for past few days, but it's too low to the horizont for me to see. But here, I see it. It's high in the sky, bright, with a light gas tail and a longer, blue dust tail. I'm happy that I finally see it.

Thank you!

I am inside a building, it's really dark inside. A girl is helping a boy to find is hat. I offer my help and start searching in the a dark hallway. I see something brown, couple of feet away. As I get there, I see a brown cowboyhat, I ask them: " is this the one your looking for?". She says: "yes, you found it! I give it to the girl, she reshapes, cleans, and gives it to the boy. I see he's wearing the hat happily.

Now I'm outside, in front of a metal gate or some mesmerizing structure. My vision focuses on a specific spot, then I zoom into a small, round screen, with vertical lines. I'm absorbed by the screen, and transport myself inside one of the gaps, only a small niddle would fit through.

I'm foating inside the structure and is dark, but as I look upwards, I see some silhouettes floating. It seems to be animal figures, foating altogether, in a horizontal line. As a wonder in amazement I find my own hands! I Immediately know I'm dreaming, I wonder around, so I feel I need stabilize the dream by doing a quick RC, by checking closely my hands. My right one seems smaller, and my left one has 6 fingers. I look a few objects and back to my hands, then a little rubbing. It's pretty stable the dream, and I look at the wall to see if I can find a clock to track time. To my surprise there's a round clock, it's around 3:30. I see is glowing and has an image. I'm going to keep walking, but I feel the need to see the image. First I see an electric guitar, as I keep staring at it, there's Jesus holding the guitar, facing sideways, and he's carrying a drum around his shoulder.

I walk outside the building, but feels more like a house now. Outside is kind of foggy, but rainbow colors all around. To my left I see some pine trees and I see some hunters shooting from a distance. I quickly walk towards a garage and I try to close the door but It only closes halfway ; the hunters arrive and pull the door upwards. I'm halfway lucid, so I tell one of them: "just shoot me", while I put my chest out. Then I change mi mind, I'm don't want to get shot! They drop some bullets, and I start juggling them, pretty much struggling. I feel the tension building, until finally get shot in the stomach! ( a red light blinks, is nothing but the REM mask! Dang it!

No techniques used, just had some intention and slept an hour longer than usual.

In a normal dream some seven hours after first going to bed I slowly realized that I was dreaming and that I could take control. When I was fully lucid I "woke up" in my bed though, but by RCing I caught the false awakening. Trying to get up I noticed that I could barely move. So, I carefully rolled to the side and put my feet on the floor. I still couldn't stand up and so I let myself slide to the floor next to the bed. I hoped to gain more control over my dream body when getting further away, so I crawled through the room. This felt kinda strange because I could move through the furniture to some extent. Somehow I came to imagine being in a transparent sphere which I could roll by pushing the sides. Like this, I moved around a bit until I awoke again in the bed.

I RCed again just to be sure and surprisingly I was still dreaming (I could have guessed because I heard someone snoring in the other room - with nobody there). Realizing I was still too groggy to go anywhere I sat up and simply meditated. Everything got completely still immediately. Then, I woke up for real.

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7/16/2020
Fell asleep at ~12:30AM.
Woke up at 6:30AM
Woke up at 8AM, maybe wrote down tags
Woke up at ~9:15, wrote down some tags as I drift in and out of more dreams

What to work on: Using SSILD and becoming lucid
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Dream 1(Chilling on beach):I was with my brother and we were going to the beach. I might remember someone saying Oka beach but not totally sure. We walked through this crowded area which had modern structures then got to the water. There were many more waves than last time. I found a boogie board and started hitting the waves. After a couple I saw the Rainvilles on the beach. Phil had been boogie boarding so much he had a rash on the side of his neck in the same spot that I was having some discomfort. We talked a little then they left.

Dream 2(Painting): I was with my friend Ezra painting at the top of a school. He was high. We were painting the ceiling while laying down on this elevated platoform. Some teacher found us and came up to us. She said we look like 2 really high kids. I thought that was kind of funny and told her she could test me, I'm sober. We just like painting. She said she was going to bring us down and make us count 100 dimes. I thought that was the easiest test ever. We went to the office then outside. She started talking to this man who had a board game I had never seen. I assumed she was going to use it to test us. Then she told us to go climb up this thing so we did. We had to wait for her a little so I closed my eyes and was doing pullups on the bar. I did a ton very effortlessly. Then we climbed up and it was a great view. Then it started raining. We were sheltered. Another woman climbed up as it started raining, she was seeking shelter. After it started raining the building started to move and we were moving along this crowd of people that were all walking in one direction. We started singing the classic canadian chant "oleeeee ole ole oleeee, oleeeee, oleeeee". Many pople joined us. Then we started going through this tunnel where the chants echoed and got more intense.

Dream 3(Drink w/ Catherine): Catherine had brought all of the family to a museum and she opened a bottle of rose to share with us all. She gave me a glass and I accepted before thinking about the commitment I've made with Louis. Many of the rooms felt very familiar, like I had been there before. I think I have in a dream before. I saw this arrangement of pretzel sticks covered in melted cheese, it looked like it was made that day.

In the dream I was back in NJ, at the church I used to go. Some children are playing around in the church's basemant. At one point they needed to read the bible, so I ofered to go and find one. I go upstairs, and in one of the rooms, before the altar, I find Cesar, the deacon. I asked him if he has a bible available, and he says sure, here you go. I take the small bible and head out to the basement, but instead I go the wrong way and I end up on the left side of the altar, 3 benches away from it. I go towards the benches and I dock, not to be seen. Then I realize that I'm just wearing my underwear, now I'm really screwed in here, I think. My perseption shifts toward the midle lane; a blonde lady comes through, preaching outloud, and walking like in a beauty pageant. I think to myself "this lady is so chill, she doesn't even care what the priest or people would say about her". All the atettion focuses on her, but now she's sitting down with her family and she is taking about a testimony of life, some kind of miracle that hapened in her life. I couldn't remember exactly what she said about it.

Note: This is one of my recurring dreams, since I moved 5 years ago, from NJ. to NC. I did quit going to church around the time I learned about Lucid Dreaming. The priest was actually a good friend of mine, but never got back in touch with him since then. I feel I should call him and say: "hello padre! ARE You DREAMING!!!"