All DJ Entries

Even though this dream was about DV conversation, the characters appeared visually like real not just as text. However, I do not remember what any of the dream character representation of DV members looked like.

I just remember the last bit:

TiredPhil (speaking in animated anger to another DV member): "You know it's obvious who is going to help me take lucidity up a level, and help me achieve a higher level of enlightenment."

1. i had stolen four pieces of chocolate from somewhere. i was in a bedroom with blue walls (distorted version of real life). i set the chocolate down on the bed but it was soon covered with ants. i put two towels on the bed and some sort of leather tarp to prevent the ants from getting at it. then i was in an unfinished basement and my mother was arguing with another woman? i think i traded the chocolate for some kind of educational children's toy -- it was a transparent model of a head with an open top, you could stick your hand into the "brain" which was a bunch of tiny blue gears...

2. i am at school and i am given an opportunity to study different ecosystems. i choose to study one with a chinese name. i am given a large petri dish. it contains murky green water with small white particulates swirling around the centre in a floral pattern. however, goopy orange and white organic growths begin to appear in the petri dish and ruin the pattern. i try to remove the slimy growths but they keep forming. at one point my ex starts working on the same project beside me. he is doing even worse than i am. i am angry at him and i get second-hand embarrassment at his failure.

Ocitnul jsem se na nejakym kopci u lesa. Bezim dolu a vidim jak tam jdou nejaky dva kluci. Neco jak ofanda a lada. A hned na me zacnou neco pokrikovat. Chvili jsem si myslel ze je to krysk s Juseppem, ale myslim ze to nebyli oni. Zacli na me neco sakrasrticky, neco o cervenejch a bilech krvinkach. Mel jsem pocit, ze jsme se predtim potkali a ja jsem je neco poucoval. RIkal jsem si ze priste budu drzet hubu.

Rekl jsem jim at si jsou po svym a ze ja pujdu taky a rozbehl jsem se doprava do kopce. Za chvilicku kolem me zase probhli a smali se. Dobehli na kopec a otocili se a bezeli zpatky. Delal jsem ze si jich nevsimam.

Potom dobehnu na takovou paseku a tma je vliekej strom prasklej a ohnutej. Je to tma nejak povykaceny a na tom prasklym strome je nejaka kabinka. Ja posloucham nejakou hudbu ve sluchatkach a hraje tam dost dobra pisnicka, snazim se to pistit spatky, ale porad mi tam skace dream theater koncert.

Potom dobehnu na nejake nove postavene sidliste. Jsou to krasny novy baraky, panelaky, ale jsou tam i takovy bloky se skrinkama. Je to hodne barevny a vsechny jsou otevreny. Divim se ze to neni poniceny nejakym vandalismem. Je to ale vsechno opusteny, jako by sem nemohli dostat lidi. Podom tam probehnu nahoru do vyzsiho patra. Koukam nalevo jak je tam dreveny schodiste nebo balkonek a rikam si, ze by to bylo super pro ty street runnery. Najednou sem na horenim patre a tam je proskleny balkon, a tam vidim sprchu a sporak. Koukam na to a je to studio byt. Hodne peknej, trochu vsechno namackany, ale pekny a novy. Rima si, ze se budu muset zeptat kolik to je.

Sebehnu dolu schodama a vidim jak za rohem zabehne nejaka sekuritacka s telefonem.

Pak tam vidim nejaku holku s klukem, tak probehnu kolem nich a slysim, ze mluvi cesky. Skrabu se tam na takovo zidku a ta holka to komentuje jako ze WOW ten je fit a tak. Tak si sundam sluchatka a dam se do reci. Ptam se odkud je, jestli z moravi a ona ze ze severu. Tak se ptam kolik ji je a ona ze je stara, ale nerekla. Potom vytahne nejakou masticku a sunda si triko a podprsenku a zacne si mazat hrudnik, kterej je celej poleptanej, jako ma Zbysek.

Pak se probudim.

04.01.2013

Mugged (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This dream was pretty intense and vivid, and I woke up with a racing heartbeat. Exciting though.


I'm on a bus with my bags and bedding on the seat next to me. The bus is about a quarter full.

A man that I feel I've seen before [in a previous dream, perhaps?] gets on and tries to sit next to me, despite the countless empty seats elsewhere. He's large, dirty and wears a wedding ring on a purple, frost-bite-looking finger.

I resist, pushing my bags against him, as I suspect he's up to something. I begin to think he may be intending to beg, and feel bad, thinking people might judge me for denying a poor beggar.

Within seconds, however, I see that he's managed to get my phone, iPod and wallet and is hiding them between his legs. I grab my wallet, falling over him into the aisle, shouting

"This man is trying to rob me, someone please help"

People gasp, but don't move. I drop my wallet at the feet of a man in the middle back seat, who slips it into his bag. I give him a look of thanks, knowing I can trust him to give it back to me later.

I get up on my knees and look at the mugger, contemplating fighting him. The feeling that he'd win easily suddenly washes over me, and he explains that stronger people have tried and failed, and he now seems extremely confident.

As I begin to walk away, I find my feet (metaphorically speaking) and turn round to say

"I'm not the biggest fan of the police, but I'm pretty sure that they're very good at their jobs, and pretty soon they WILL get you. And when they do, rest assured that I'll ask them to give you a right kick in the balls from me!"

and walk off the bus to the sound of everyone cheering.


For some reason I soon get back on the bus for the remainder of my journey, and head back upstairs, avoiding the mugger who now sits comfortably at the back. The rest of the passengers sit in fear.

While looking out the window, I get a tap on the shoulder. The mugger offers me my phone, and I scowl at him, trying to figure out his angle, but he tells me it's ringing.

I answer it to my mum, but it's just an answerphone message, and I think to myself I'll ring her later. I give the phone back to the mugger, who's now walking about the top floor, talking one-sidedly to the frightened passengers.

As I go down the stairs I overhear him saying it's only 2 stops until Nottingham Street [not sure if that's a real place, but I was recently in Nottingham for New Years], and I come to the assumption that that's where he's getting off. I now know where to tell the police to find him.

I wait til the bus reaches its next stop and plan to sprint towards the crowded center of town that we'd just driven through. However, when I end up getting off the bus I instead begin writing down the events, as if in a dream journal so that I won't forget, as well as drawing an amazingly detailed picture of an abstract eye.

Remembering my initial plan, I get my phone out (which is mysteriously back in my possession) and ring 999. I ask for the police, but can't hear the man on the other end, who asks a series of irrelevant questions. The line eventually breaks up.

I contemplate ringing back, but I decide it's too late [time starts to merge as I begin to wake up].

Looks like he got away with it.

WARNING! THIS DJ DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!

Non-lucid, incomplete:
I dreamed about a webseries called EverymanHYBRID, some of you might have seen it. Anyway, so we were sitting in a circle and Evan whispers something in Vince' ear about having been to elementary school with me. He tells him that he once dumped a hand full of caterpillars in the hood of my coat (this actually once happened to me in elementary school). I got really angry and planned on killing him. For some reason halfway through we became a couple though. And I met his dad, and he was really not so nice, I talked to him about God, though. And he lived with his dad and shared a room with a little brother and sister, and had a very dangerous set of stairs somewhere in his house. It was really fucked up.

Analysis:
Maybe it was because I haven't exercised, or had a very long LD last night, but last night was a bit fucked up. The reason I dreamed about the web series is because I had been working on a script for my own web series, and my brother came over, and we are both big fans of SlenderARGs. The first part seems to symbolise my own agression and antagonistic attitude towards anyone who gets close to me. I find it rather typical that I had such a relationship to THIS character, as he, himself would already be sufficient for symbolising the agression, in a way, he would almost symbolise myself (I relate very strongly with this character to begin with). So it is peculiar thar I had this kind of relationship with him in my dream, especially since by the end of it, it was turned around completely. The second part seems very symbolic for my relationship with my sort-of-kind-of-complicated-partner. Again I see similarities between the characters, though less strong. It was very much like our relationship, the feeling was very similar too. The father talking about God could be my own search for faith. The younger siblings reflect both my "complicated's" younger sister, and also my own desire to have a real sibling (my half brother never lived with us and is 12 years older), this desire is especially strong around the holidays.

Dream - Lucid

I was walking around with a life-like baby doll in my arms, but I was acting like it was a real baby. There were many other people around in the area I was in, which, I honestly have no idea where that was. I think it was in a big mall or department store or something. I remember having to change the baby doll's diaper, and being confused as to how to do so. I stood there with this baby doll who had a dirty diaper on, trying to think of who to ask about changing it.

I then realized that this was a baby doll, and that I was just practicing for when I had my real baby, which I was pregnant with. It was Jake's baby. I looked down and rubbed my belly. I was showing a bit, and, underneath my hand, I could feel the new little life moving. I felt the outline of her body. I got really excited about being pregnant! I exclaimed to someone that I could feel the baby. I then looked at myself in a mirror, and saw my baby bump. I felt really giddy!

My joy then immediately turned to worry; I started to fear losing the baby. I was afraid that any little thing that made me panic or get angry or something would cause me to miscarry.

I then started to tell people that I was pregnant and that I was excited for my little girl to come into the world. No one responded. I remember even telling a girl I'm acquainted with IWL, Maegan, but she just stared at me like everyone else. I also remember calculating my due date, which came out to be sometime in March, but that didn't seem right for some reason, as if it was supposed to be later than that.

~

I was at my house. It was Thanksgiving, and family kept coming over. I was standing in the living room when my ex, Chris, and his girlfriend came through the door. They sat down on the red chair that's in the corner of the room.

Um...what? Who invited them? I thought maybe my mom did. I know I sure didn't, but no one said anything.

I was then upstairs with my brother. We were in the bonus room, when Chris brought us a tray with a small silver bowl of what looked like chicken broth up to us. He said it was soup, and set it down. It only looked like broth to me, not soup; I was skeptical. My brother started to eat it. I then heard Chris from downstairs telling his girlfriend he had saved all the chicken and rice for them.

Uh, no, this isn't cool. I stormed downstairs and into the living room. There were other relatives in there sitting on the couch I believe, but I didn't care. I was kicking Chris and co. out. I stood firmly in front of the couple, who were both sitting in the same small chair, and said, sternly and forcefully,
"Get out of my house. What are you even doing here anyway? And was that our soup?"
He said no, it was their soup. I then said
"Well, that doesn't matter. You're in my house. And I'm kicking you out. Go!"
They stood up and left. Thank God. But I still couldn't figure out why they would want to spend Thanksgiving at my house. That had to be awkward for them, too.

I was then working, but it didn't look anything like work, though I was doing the same thing. I was working behind a very long cash register counter, about the length of the room we were in, with some other people. A middle-aged lady with very short blonde hair came up to me and this other girl with lots of jewelry and a check. I can't remember what she was trying to do, it was something complicated, and she was trying to explain to us what it was, but the girl I was with took her small, flimsy light brown wallet from the counter and opened it, saying her ID wasn't in there and we needed her ID for what she wanted to do. I took over and started to calmly ask some questions to see if we could sort everything out. The people next to me behind the counter then took over and started to ring her up on their register. Well, I guess that takes care of that.

I was then in the same building, but I was leaving work now. Chris was there for a little bit, and I told him why I got so mad.
"I heard you talking about the soup," I said.
He said "Ohhh..." as if it made sense now as to why I was so mad, you know, besides the fact that he brought his girlfriend into MY house on Thanksgiving.

Ahem. Anyway.

Chris was then gone, and I was standing with a short, stout middle-aged woman who was supposed to be Chris's girlfriend's mother. I felt really awkward when she started to talk to me like we were friends. I talked back to her, and was polite and nice, but I didn't exactly know what to say besides making small talk.

We were then waiting on an elevator. A small screen popped up in front of us of a cartoony, poorly-drawn picture of his girlfriend, with "Ji's" written above it in bubbly, black block letters. It was supposed to be Chris's Facebook profile picture, and "Ji's" was a business or something. The mom stared at it longingly. I felt even more awkward.

The elevator then opened, and we stepped inside. She started to tell me about how she was moving to Knoxville. I told her she better make sure she had all of her stuff together, and she said she knew, and just kept talking about it, and that she had to move around a lot. I thought that maybe she was in the military or something. She was talking to me as if I was any other person. I felt a little better about it then.

She then commented on the fact that the elevator wasn't moving, as if someone had hit the emergency stop button right before our floor. The door then opened to an outside area. The area was lit, but looking up at the sky, you could see many stars; it was nighttime.

I also remember seeing a flash of a white screen with black writing that quickly streamed by on it at some point. I remember it said something about love, "Love is not ____." (can't remember that last word) was one of the sentences in the stream of writing that whisked by my vision, or something like that. Whatever it was, it was saying something about what love wasn't.

Dream - Lucid

I was walking into my house through the kitchen. It was morning, and I had been gone somewhere all night, I think in a dungeon killing monsters. My parents were away for awhile, and they wanted my brother and I to take care of the house. Well, apparently, my brother and I, and Chris and his girlfriend. Chris walked out of the hallway and into the kitchen wearing a grey shirt, followed by his girlfriend, followed by some guys carrying cases of beer. They had partied all night, and stayed at the house! WHAT? How disrespectful, not only to my brother and I, but to my parents! Besides that, I was mad that him and his girlfriend even stayed overnight at my house! Apparently, Chris was leaving to take his girlfriend to the airport. I don't think I said anything to him about how mad I was. I just stood there dumbfounded and pissed as they walked through the back door to leave.

I then felt like I was at the airport, but it was open and outdoors. The sky was blue/grey with some white clouds. I was then in an airplane, and we passed through a huge cloud. It was as if I was enveloped by fluffy, warm clouds, which at first, didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, because I thought passing through the cloud would make the plane colder. But instead, it made me feel sleepy, comfy, and relaxed, so I closed my eyes.

Then, I was back at the house, and wanted to go down into the dungeon-type area (more video game/Minecraft elements here) that was actually down inside the house. Blake went with me. I think I had to get something from down there.

When we got down there, it was quite dark, and there were monsters everywhere, some that looked like the Pokemon Gurrdurr from a game I was watching Blake play yesterday IWL. I started to hack away at the monsters as they noticed and came at me, all while trying to light the room up with torches. As all this was going on, I was complaining to Blake about the Chris situation, about him staying there overnight with his girlfriend. I was still mad about the party thing, but more mad about him bringing his girlfriend into my house. He seemed perplexed, as if he didn't understand why I was so pissed about the whole thing. I then thought that they were staying in my bed, and probably having sex in it. Ugh. Gross and awkward. I imagined my empty bed messed up on both sides in my dark room.

I kept wanting/needing to return to that dungeon area for some reason, and each time I returned, all the monsters had respawned in the same places, and the lighting was gone again, so I'd have to re-kill the monsters and re-light the room.

This dream seems to be showing me how I keep on getting jealous and peeved that Chris has an awesome girlfriend (symbolized not only by them being together in my house in the dream, but the concept of "fighting the same monsters over and over" in the dungeon) whom he's been dating for over a year now, and it makes me jealous, because we had such a strong love for each other when we were together. Even still, though I thought I was over it and that I'd moved on (all this stuff with us fighting and him getting together with this girl happened almost 2 years ago now), when I see something about him and her on Facebook, it kind of upsets me, and I quickly scroll past it to avoid thinking too much about it.

Also, I know for a fact I had a long dream before this, but my recall isn't really great right now for a multitude of reasons. Hoping it gets back on track here again soon.

Dream - Lucid

I was watching something that looked like Pokemon with Jake on the TV in the living room of my house. It was nighttime, and I was gonna try to sleep, so I paused the show. Then, Jake unpaused it. We kept going back and forth like that, until I got irritated and told Jake I was trying to sleep, and that's why I was pausing it.

~

I was watching some movie, or was involved in some movie-like situation, where the woman who plays Dr. Cameron on House was a photographer, though she looked like the character she played briefly on How I Met Your Mother, Zooey. Yes, that's right, I was in the band again at my old high school. My old band teacher wanted some photos of apartments made. Apparently, this got done every year. My band teacher really liked her photography for some reason. She was supposed to be taking pictures of apartments for him. He started to look at them, and they were obscure pictures. Like weird pictures of inside the apartments. I remember one being of right outside the apartment, the stairs leading up to it and the sign above the door which read "APARTMENT".

Well, the band teacher didn't like that. He was looking for pictures of the apartments from a bird's eye view, not this weird abstract stuff. He fired her, and then, someone told her she was going to die at 25. She didn't believe it, since she was 24, but apparently, she did end up dying.

Leonardo DiCaprio was in there somewhere too, but I'm not sure where he came into play.

I was going to some high school reunion thing (IWL a couple of weeks ago I went to a brief choir reunion to sing the National Anthem at my old high school's 10 year anniversary, where they named the football stadium). I remember Kayla being there. I put my purse in a locker in the girl's locker room, which, in the dream, was underneath the stadium. Many other people were there as well. The lockers were very tiny, and I didn't have a lock, so I just put my things in a locker in the middle of the wall of tiny lockers and hoped for the best.

I also saw a girl I knew of in high school and actually met and had classes with in college, Megan H. In IWL, she's very conservative and Christian. In the dream, she was a photographer, and only put on the front of being very conservative and religious, though I seemed to be one of the only ones who could see that. She had apparently gotten in big trouble with the law at some point, like gotten arrested, but I'm not sure why. She still acted like her bubbly, Christian self in the dream, though it seemed almost strained. She came up to me with a smile and started talking to me. She was holding a camera.

Megan, Kayla, and I all went up into the stadium, which was HUGE and very packed with people who had gone to the high school in the past 10 years. It was nighttime outside. As we were walking, I heard the brass players that were on the field play this one chord, and I got annoyed, because they were going to start playing some silly song that they always played in high school (the brass sections were such goof-offs in high school IWL -_-). They were a few of the brass players that went to high school with me. I remember specifically a trumpet player named Micheal being down there. They were wearing their high school band uniforms.

We sat down on the far right edge towards the top of the stadium. Megan sat behind me, and I think Kayla as well. Megan started to talk and talk and talk to us. I turned around to listen. She started talking about weaves, and some black guy with, and I quote, "plastic in his hair". A big black girl with a weave and a white V-neck shirt that was sitting next to Megan (who btw is very white haha) turned to her and said "Mmmhmm!" as if she was agreeing. I then turned back around, and everyone around us was quiet and turned around staring at us, as if they were waiting for us to shut up so they could do the National Anthem or something. I felt a little embarrassed at first, but Megan kept obliviously talking, and I just ignored the stares since I had barely said a word; it was all Megan. I then thought about a waking life memory, how the choir alumni had been down there a couple weeks prior doing the National Anthem instead of the band alumni.

Then, I wanted to check my phone for the time or something, but it was dead. I would hold down the button, but it wouldn't turn on. I had had a feeling it was going to die, since when I had gotten there the battery was so low. I got up to leave during this part for some reason, when everyone was waiting quietly for the National Anthem. I was the only one getting up to leave. I started to go down a stairway that lead to underneath the stadium, but the dance team was under there doing some slow, almost interpretive dance, and then behind them, I saw pom-poms and only a little bit of the cheerleaders. I went down another way.

I was then back at the lockers, and lots of people were there again. Part of the wall and lockers had been removed, and you could see to the other side of the wall, which was the guy's locker room, I believe. It reminds me now of Minecraft; it looked as if "blocks" had been removed from the wall. I asked someone who did this, and I think they said some Freshman girl did it or something. At any rate, my locker was still there. As I opened it to grab my purse, I hoped no one had stolen anything. I felt the bottom of my purse to see if I could feel everything that was in there. I was especially checking for my wallet. At first, I didn't feel it, but then I did. Thank goodness!

I checked my phone again, and it was still dead. It came on very briefly, and then died again.

I was then riding home with Megan's family. Megan's dad was driving. We got into my neighborhood, and he dropped me off at where my street starts so I had to walk a couple houses down to get to my place. I got out, and was holding this blue notebook. Papers and folders were crammed into it and falling out. I was trying to get it all together, when I said to Megan's dad
"I've been unemployed for 9 months," and I said other things as well, but I can't remember what. We had been talking about how I'd been, I guess.
He responded with
"Good morning, Superman." He smiled when he said this.

I then woke up.

~

I was at my college again, but it was like it was mixed with Minecraft. I remember going through some caves, seeing obsidian and torches and some wooden doors. I saw lots of zombies too, and they would change appearance randomly with the light levels. I killed them.

Then, I was heading out of the cave and onto the campus. A tall, handsome, kind-looking Arab man then approached me. He didn't speak English very well. He offered me a single pink rose, and asked me to walk him to class. He told me his name, but it was something really complicated, so I can't remember it, and couldn't throughout the dream. Anyway, I took his hand, and I walked him to his class. We were walking over blocky, stone Minecraft terrain that was imposed on the campus. It was daytime outside. We talked while we went to his class.

This happened again too, where he found me standing at another cave entrance, and asked me to walk him to his class. He gave me another single pink rose, and we walked around campus to his class. He was so kind, a very sweet person whom I really enjoyed being around. This time, before we parted, I gave him a big hug. It was so warm and loving, a beautiful embrace. We lingered for a while, just hugging.

For a little bit, I thought about how JP had been represented in some of my dreams as an Indian or Middle-Eastern man. I then thought that this man was nothing like JP or the character that represented him, and carried on, walking by myself now that the Arab man was gone to class.

Then, he stopped showing up. I was really upset, because I knew it was because the dean of the school, who looked like my old high school principal, Mr. Nolan, didn't like him because he was Arab, which automatically made him "suspicious", as if he were a terrorist or something. I was absolutely furious. The area I was in at this point was cave-like, and had another, older looking Arab guy around, and some other people as well. I think I asked him where the other guy went. When I asked, I simply referred to him as Ahmed, because I couldn't remember his complicated name. I don't remember what he said, though I already knew what happened. I was going to take action; this was absolutely disgusting and ridiculous.

I went into the dean's office. Apparently, Mr. Nolan wasn't there that day, and the guy standing in for him looked kind of like an old assistant principal, Mr. Lichens, except for he had a bowl cut and was much skinnier than the real Mr. Lichens. He had the same color hair, red, and glasses though, as the IWL Lichens does. He looked up as I entered. I immediately started to go off. I began by throwing a small object, and yelling, filled with rage, (this isn't word-for-word, but it's as close as I can remember it)
"I quit this school! You bastards, Ahmed is not a terrorist! He is a nice person who just wants to learn! You're just afraid! Not every Arab is like Osama bin Laden!"
I'm sure I said some other things too. Lichens lookalike started to look angry the second I started to yell. I stormed out, and he immediately got on the phone with Mr. Nolan, telling him that I just quit the school, which I could hear through the door I had come through. God damn, I was angry. I was so very, very angry. It was so unfair that they did this! I turned around and yelled at the door, hoping he could hear me through it as I could hear him. I think I called them bastards again.

I was then standing with some people, one I remember being a girl named Melissa that worked at the job I recently quit. She was standing with another girl, apparently her partner. They were so in love, it was so sweet. I hugged Melissa, and she was whispering to me about how happy and in love she was with this other girl. I was very happy for them.

I was then getting some things out of a cubby in the band room from high school. My tennis shoes were in there. I thought about all the high school band kids there.

Dream - Lucid

I was inside somewhere, and I had taken a written math test. A girl I was friends with in high school, Sara, was there, and so was Jake. I had just gotten the test back, and was reviewing how I did. I did pretty well, seeing a few I missed here and there. I remember one of the questions on the first page being worth 5 points, and me getting 2 points partial credit for it.

I then flipped the test paper over and saw where I had completely skipped a graph problem, one worth 9 points. I saw -9 written in red on the problem. Jake then said
"Well yeah, don't expect a good grade if you're going to skip problems."
I then said
"I did ok, I mean, I got an 80, that's a low B."

~

I was walking with some lady through the band hallway at my old high school. It was like she was giving me a tour although I've already graduated both high school and college. She was explaining to me how that hallway is where lots of people who were about to graduate went to talk about colleges and their "favorite sororities" and such. She was saying this just as we were passing the band room. I looked to my right at her. She was short, had brown hair, and a young-looking face, though I think she may have been older than me. She looked like a sorority girl herself.

Then, my left knee felt extremely weak, and gave out. I crouched down and held the knee for a few seconds, as if I had injured it. It kept doing this over and over; I'd walk a few steps, and my left knee would give out. I tried to explain to the lady I was walking with, just telling her my knee kept giving out. As I was crouched down holding my knee the last time before I woke up, I thought to myself that maybe, because I've been less active lately, my knee muscles had atrophied.

~

I was at my house with Jake. We were in the middle of cleaning something or moving some things, when we started talking about some girl he had been seeing. I asked Jake if they were going to get married, and he said yes. I then asked if he had proposed to her, and he said yes.

WHAT???

I stood up and yelled at him. I was so angry, I couldn't contain it.
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! THIS IS MY HOUSE, GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!"
I kept screaming those things over and over. He never got mad, not even once. It's like he didn't even care that I was angry at him. The girl was then, somehow, there as well. She was skinny, and looked mixed between black and white. Her hair was in a short ponytail. I think she was wearing black Ugg boots and a jacket. She looked kinda tom-boyish. I yelled at the both of them to "get out of my fucking house". Good God was I angry. The girl left without a fight or a word, but Jake stayed there.

We were walking around and he was getting some things together to leave, and I just kept yelling at him. He was still not phased by my anger. Fuck, I couldn't even figure out why I was so angry. I then thought it was because he was just settling, just marrying this random chick that he didn't really care about. That made sense for me to be angry about that, but not this angry. I mean, we weren't even dating! I was just fucking pissed. I know, at some point, she texted him. He seemed so blah about it, so detached, so uncaring.

We were then in the living room. I was sitting on the couch as he got some things together. I was fuming, and yelling, and all that good, angry stuff; one thing I said was
"Leave. Leave, and don't you dare come back until you're single!"
When I said this, I thought that I may never see him again. That made me sad, but my anger was stronger at this point.
I then noticed there was a baggie of weed on the coffee table. At that moment, I noticed Jake started to sniff around like a dog. He said
"I'm looking for the weed."
He then saw it on the coffee table, and started to take it. I broke from my anger for a second and said, calmly,
"Do you mind if I take a little?"
He said
"Sure. I'll give you some for the road."
He pulled out a small piece and gave it to me. I was surprised; I thought he was going to outright deny me after my show of anger. Then again, he didn't seem to be phased by it at all.

The girl then came back to pick Jake up. I think she called or texted him to tell him she was there. He left through the front door, but then, was back in the living room. He said
"She was mad that you have a Wii and you didn't invite her to play."
Wut. I mean, did she really expect me to? After how pissed I got, all she could say was she was mad because I didn't invite her to play the Wii? I know I said something to Jake about that, but I don't remember exactly what.

The first dream I had, I was angry at someone. I don't remember why, but it turned into a dream where I was a the father of a bride in India, and my anger made me miss out on her wedding.

Another dream I had, there was a cat that me and my brother Jeremy were playing with. It was a little asshole and kept biting and scratching us. It wasn't as bad as it's mother though. The mother wasn't around, but the dream made me think that we had previously owned the mother for a long time. We called her "Master" and the little one had no name yet. Even though he was mean, I liked him. We played for awhile, even though when I say play, I mean he bit me and hissed.


The later dreams I had... on and off, argueing with my wife and other people. I kept waking up with bad anxiety, realizing nobody was fighting with me, then going back to sleep hoping I didn't have any more of those dreams. But they kept on happening. Last night was kind of a bad night. Hopefully my anxiety doesn't screw with me next time.

Dream - Lucid

I was with my mom and brother outside a weird, cartoony house somewhere, though I'm not sure where. For some reason, I was really mad at both of them. It had something to do with the job I had in the dream, though I can't remember what the job was. I was crying and screaming at them irrationally with my mouth full of beans and mashed potatoes. I remember spewing some little crumbs out as I did so.

~

Something about watching these sex acts between guys and girls and also girls and girls. It was like it was happening to someone else as I watched, but it was indirectly happening to me? Like someone else and I were "getting away" with it. I remember we getting in my car in the parking lot at this outdoor mall we have, and getting stopped by cops. They talked to us through my open windows as we sat in the parking lot. We somehow were doing something illegal, though I'm not sure what. We talked our way out of it, and apparently had many times before, but I knew they were probably on to us.

~

I was with Jake (maybe?) at my house. We were collecting items...some of the sex dream from before somehow had something to do with this dream. Collecting the items had something to do with the sex acts. I remember running and jumping to get this brown paper three-pointed hat from atop a very tall shelf. Apparently, no one else could get this.
"Did you get it?" Jake asked.
I uncurled my fingers, and the hat was all crumbled in my hand, but would be just fine if I uncrumpled it. It wasn't ruined or anything.
"Yup!" I responded.

Not a very restful night of sleep last night, sadly. -_-

Dream - Lucid

I was about to race Austin underwater, though we were on two separate courses, though they were both underwater. I remember seeing his face, and he looked so much younger, like a 12 -year-old version of himself. He was smiling and his face looked bright and full of life.

I knew right off I couldn't beat him. He was well known for his great swimming skills. I decided to try anyway.

The course started out on land, but only briefly. It was in a cave that had a part of it submersed in water. I stood right where the cave lightly sloped into the underwater portion on a white line that had been drawn to designate the start. I stood prepped like I was about to run a race, with one foot behind me in an almost kneeling positing with both my hands on the ground. I got the signal to start, though I can't remember what that was. I went straight into the water and swam hard through the underwater cave. There was no chance to breathe anywhere, for it was, well, an underwater cave, but that didn't seem to be an issue. I was surrounded by underwater plants, anenomes, and gray rock. I swam into another part of the cave on my right.

~

I was in the dining room at my family's house with Lily and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother (this is what happens when I fall asleep watching Netflix). They were doing something on my laptop, some kind of game, and I kept pushing a button repeatedly, trying to fill up some bar to win. Every time I'd get close, they'd shut me down. I then remember sticking a pin or a needle inside part of the computer to push some small button (think the 'reset' button on some electronics where you have to stick the head of a pen inside a small hole to push it). I kept doing that really fast and had a couple more to go when, I again got shut down.

~

I was supposed to meet Jake at a restaurant. He suggested a local hookah bar that I used to frequent in waking life, but I haven't been to in a couple of years. I was surprised he suggested it, but I agreed to go. I got there first and waited on Jake for awhile. I ordered my food and it got there before he did. Finally, he got there and sat down at the table diagonally across from me, to my left. I feel like there were a couple of other people there too. We were sitting outside in the porch area of the bar.

Then, Jake looks at me blankly and says
"I had sex with you because you're an emotion."
This really pissed me off. I was infuriated. I was so mad, my vision started to blur as I looked under the table for my black flip-flops. As I was slipping them on and standing up, I said, angrily,
"Well I hope you want to pay for dinner then!"

And with that, I stormed off. Jake went after me. We started really getting into it. I vaguely remember us having plastic yellow baseball bats and hitting one another with them (I own one of these in waking life). The restaurant briefly looked like my family's house as we fought through it. During the fight, I felt like he had the upper hand, like he was winning; I felt inadequate.

We sat back down at the table and the waitress said something to us, though I can't quite remember what exactly, but it was something about us fighting. We were still angry at this point, and I still felt strangely low, like he was going to break it off with me or something, I'm not sure. It was not a good feeling though.

Then, I remember driving on the interstate, waiting for my exit to get there. I was driving back from Nashville. I then suddenly remembered I had no idea which exit to take, and I had forgotten to set up my GPS. I quickly, while driving, grabbed it out of my glove compartment, hooked it up and turned it on. The exit was coming up soon, though it was at an odd place on the GPS map. I knew it was a spirally ramp that I was looking for. The GPS then showed me driving inside a spiral, heading towards the center.

No recall the last two nights, unfortunately, but it was my own fault. Tried to WILD last night but could not keep myself awake long enough. Did remember a small clip though:

---

19/4/12
VITAMIN B6

I'm in some sort of cottage with some friends. We think the house might have been broken into, but after checking round, we decide it's all clear. All of us go out, with exception of one who stays behind. Not long after we leave, we get a call from him, saying he left the door unlocked and someone might be inside the house.

As we journey back to the house everyone thinks about which valuables they might have had stolen, but I'm safe in the knowledge that my expensive macbook is chained to the wall.

Once back, I enter the house with my dad, and suddenly realise I had taken my laptop off the chain very briefly recently. As I suspect, it's gone. I start shouting in anger, but it's my dad that flies into a huge unnecessary rage.

Once I've calmed down I half wake up, realising it was just a dream, before then waking up for real.

Same old story with the recall, only fragments. I guess being biphasic at the moment is capping the limit of my recall. I'm staying asleep so short times that proper long dreams can't form. According to my Zeo Sleep Monitor my longest REM-periods happen a little bit after five hours, so it's no wonder that I'm not reaching my best with 3-4 hours at a time. I'll still keep this up, we'll see if it improves once I get more used to it.

In the meanwhile let's check back to one fucked up dream I had a while back. One that proves that being lucid and having a nightmare are not exclusive.

Killing My Mom
Date: July 27th, 2009
Lucid: Yes
Method: DILD

I don't remember what triggered the lucidity, but after confirming it with reality check I was semi-excited. I had read bunch of stuff back then about grounding the lucidity using touch, so I tried licking a screw that I found. I didn't notice any change in the quality of the dream.

Next I tried to put the living room's light's on as the dream seemed a bit dark. Obviously the lights wouldn't work. I called out my mom to put them on. I mean surely the dream character would manage to put them on? I don't remember what we exactly said to each other, but she didn't do it in the end. So I did the next best alternative. I started fucking smashing the lamps into pieces. I guess I am more random when lucid than normally in dreams. Surprisingly that was such a strong stimulation that it strengthened the dream. I think it also got brighter, ironically.

My mom got upset about the broken lamps though. This sent the dream into a downward spiral. Her negative emotions (that were actually mine, since this is my dream after all), made me angrier and I started venting it on the furniture, as I knew it was a dream. I don't usually smash the TV like I did then when I'm mad. No, really, I don't do that shit. So anyway mom started screaming at me for such behavior and I didn't want to hear that shit.

I went to my brother's room. There's a big window there. I jumped through the glass to get out. Yeah, I sure like destruction. Why take the door, when you can smash yourself through two layers of glass? I ran to the woods next to our house to get away. The atmosphere of the dream had turned into really dark and depressing. I was frightened and conscious of it. I knew that I had to get rid of the fear because I knew that it would affect the dream. Besides, what's there to fear, I knew it was a dream after all!

I tried joking around with my mom. I said to her that she is surprisingly agile for such considering how big she is (she is overweight). I guess that's not the best joke to say someone to calm him down in reality, but as it amused me and my mom was just a manifestation of my mind, that could have worked. But it didn't.

Confrontation was inevitable. The fight was short and I killed my mom with a simple hit on the head. I was relieved, but still thought how fucked up that whole thing was. Relief was only temporary though, as my sis came after me next and she wasn't happy. I was like "you gotta be kidding me?" Do I have to kill my family members one by one in a lucid? That's some fucked up shit right there. I tried to convince her to calm down, but I said the last words aloud in my bed, as I had woken up. Thank Lord.

I am in a city I do not recognize. I live there and I am going to high school still, but I do not have a family and I live in a communal bording house for kids and young adults with no place else to go. I am at school and the teacher gives us a big assignment to do were we have to submit a thesis on something (but I cannot remember what now) but a lot of the young teens in my class are lazy and uninterested and do not bother to do the work. One of the stipulations of the assignment is that it must be hand written on lined paper, and not printed out from a computer.

It takes me only one night to get my assignment done but as the due date approatches I notice that my only friends in my school has barely done hers at all and I offer to help her with it. The little bit she has done is on the computer and I start ccopying what she has written on lined paper until I get to were her assignment ends and I give it back to her. I tell her I cannot finish writing it out until she finishes her assignment. My friend becomes angry and bullies me to finish the assignment for her and eventually I cave in and agree because she is my only friend and I do not want to lose her, because then I would be truly alone.

I am walking outside the next day. It is saturday and there is no school. I am feeling angry and resentful about always doing my work on time and the teacher's not caring since they don't care that the other students barely ever do their work. I pass a resturant that is in a large shopping plaza and on the inside are all my fellow classmates and my teachers and they are all eating great food. There is slices of roast beef covered in melted cheese; racks of juicy ribs; all kinds of potato side dishes, like mashed, boiled and spiced, and scalloped; and all sorts of vegetables and desserts.

I assume this is a school thing that I didn't know about but when I go into the resturant I am told that they are really sorry but there is no food left because they didn't know they would need an extra place for me. I went over to my teacher and asked why I wasn't told about this and why there was no food for me, and my teacher responded that they had asked my one friend to tell me and it wasn't their fault if she had neglected to do so. I do not create a scene even though on the inside I feel like exploding. I quietly and calmly walk back to the bording house, take my friends assignment that I was doing for her, and rip it up and throw the peices all over her room.

I look in the fridge and there is nothing I can make a meal with, just a carton of milk and some apples. I head back to he shopping center to my food for myself because I have a little bit of money. People I pass on the street say that some dinosaurs have escaped from the zoo and are headed our way, but even though I know dinosaurs are real in my dream world, I don't care because I am too miserable.

In the grocery store my goal is to buy ground beef for tacos, because tacos are my favourite food and I think it will cheer me up a little, but I am tempted to buy many other things that I can just barely afford, including cartons of cigarettes, which are laying in a basket near the check out line and are on sale. I am so tempted my some things that I start contemplating trying to steal things, but I know it is wrong and before my thoughts become actions I can hear people screaming outside. When I look out the window I can see a huge Tyrannasaurus Rex stomping around the parking lot and attacking cars and eating people. I leave the grocery store and head into the shopping mall without buying anything at all because people are panicking and running into the grocery store to get away from the dinosaur and it is complete chaos.

People in the mall are also panicking, which others are calmly walking around. I am not scared for some reason, though I feel very tired and slightly annoyed. Vendors in stores start putting up hand written sale signs on a lot of their goods, hoping people will buy items on sale in their panic. I think this is stupid and keep walking through the mall.

I find a little girl crying in the center of the plaza and she says she can't find her mother. I ask where she last saw her mother and the little girl responds that her mother went to get some lunch and told her daughter to stay put. I ask the little girl if she knows what food stall in the food court her mother went to and the little girl says she does know which one and what it looks like, but does not know how to get there. I offer to take her and we push past panicking people who are flooding into the mall trying to escape the rampaging T-Rex but I do not tell the little girl what is going on outside. She is more interested in finding her mother anyway.

We pass many interesting stores, including a shoe store with high heel boots made in Africa, an all natural scented candle store, and an interactive information booth on nature and geography around the world. The little girl and I find the food court and she points out the fast food place her mother went to. It is an Italian food place but the sign says Siesta Teisto, or something like that, which sounds Spanish to me. The little girl thanks me and runs into the store and when I go inside to see if she has found her mother, absolutely no one is there, not even the cooks or cashiers.

I head back to towards the main plaza in the mall but can get there because there are so many people who have come from outside seeking shelter. I climb some stairs up to the second floor that leads to a fancy resturant or gym just as the T-Rex smashes through a ground floor window and starts rampaging through the mall. Lots of people are either crushed to death in the stampeed or are eaten, though I cannot remember much more from this dream.