All DJ Entries

"Anaken"? An event somewhere. It was a grass area. A familiar place but not sure where. Manila? We were looking for a jeep. It's night, so I'm worried I might get lost or end up in a bad place. I imagined a place along the road that's dark. There are trees on both sides. I decided to tag along with others. I think Amben and Sacha were there.

It's... dawn? Or late afternoon? We were walking near a plaza area. There are stuff for sale. Grey colors, dim, hazy.

---

Notes:

- It was clearer when I woke up but I keep going back to bed to sleep some more.
- I slept around 11 p.m. Woke up at around 10 a.m., but I kept going back to sleep before that.
- Slept to Kelly McGonigal's default mode meditation.

The word "Bathor." Probably reference to "Hathor."

A fight with some people. Unclear.

I was at home. Darkish but visible. I was supposed to join a marathon or some kind of running event, but I am in a rush. I was looking for stuff (socks?). My sister was there. I think she was supposed to join me. There was a nosy kid there, annoying but somehow friendly and familiar. He gave me a phone/mp3 player. I was supposed to go to the bathroom but the first bathroom was being used. The next bathroom was about to be used by the kid. I ended up in the room next to it and just told the kid to hurry up. Yellow/Reddish color. The doors are open. The rooms are connected by doors and they each have a door to the corridor/hallway. I went out the hallway, and there's a rail right in front. I was on the second floor. I teleported on the ground floor and used the bathroom there. Blueish color. Just as I was about to close the door, Rob almost walked in. He said something incoherent, I think about using the other bathrooms. I said something about the ruined lock of this bathroom. I needed to take a bath before running.

I was climbing up the stairs inside what felt like a lighthouse. I reached the top level. It was grey outside. Rainy.

It was night or almost night but the surroundings are still visible. I'm on the railroad tracks that are still being built. Something about a bullet train in the country. One of the guys there (I think we are 4 total) said that the width might be too small. I looked at the tracks and some just criss-cross. As I watched, a small bullet-shaped train ran along one of the tracks. I had the idea that this was the future in our country.

I was on the road riding a jeep. I was thinking of going to... Cubao? Somehow, I ended up on the road along Quezon Ave. (or somewhere out of the way). I missed a turn. On the road, I saw a monkey-looking creature attack a lion. I felt excited. I watched as the monkey creature knocked out the lion and dragged it back somewhere on the side of the road. A house? A scuplture area. The jeep was high enough that I can see over the walls. I saw a big sundial(?) on the ground. Then I saw the monkey creature walk with a few other monkey creatures take their position near the walls and turn to stone. A thought came to mind about Lico talking about a practitioner near along this road.

---

NOTES:

- I went to slept listening to the Dream Lotus by LaBerge.
- When it finished, it played one of Sam Harris' meditation audio. I had to wake up and turn it off and play the latter part of the Dream Lotus.
- Went back to focusing on the lotus light.
- After a while, I felt aware of my body but not quite there. I didn't know what to do to jump into the dream.
- I decided to just hold my breath (not sure if after I breathed out or after I breathed in).
- I felt the powerful tingly sensation. I knew I was in the dream.
- I slept at around 5:30 p.m., set alarm to 1.5 hours.

I was walking in a dark corridor. I was with two people. I think one was my sister and the other is "Bob." (lol)

We were looking at ancient civilization architecture/dioramas/etc., but the light seems too dark. Even when we turn on some light, it's still too dark. After we saw one area, I told them about another ancient civilization area on the hallway to my right. I was thinking it's even more ancient.

We went in and it's still dark. We went inside an "ancient" house, although it looked more like a house in the Philippines during the Spanish era. We were walking around and I can barely see anything. I heard the voice of a child, so I thought someone must be inside. I turned on the light on my phone while we were walking. I partially saw a torso and legs of a kid (boy, I think) lying down on a table to my left. He was moving a bit, like he was woken up. I was going to approach him, but the other two went up the stairs, seemingly in a hurry, while still not running. I followed after them. They jumped out of the window. I was going to go out but I just felt tired and I let my arms hang limp over the window as I watch them retreat to my right. The window is level to the ground even though we went upstairs.

I felt strange because I wanted to go out the window but I was tired. I felt something cold in the center of my back, and I somehow knew something isn't right. The child, it would seem, was a spirit, and I think the other two knew it so they hurried. However, it caught me before I was able to get out, and it possessed me.

I partially awakened IRL and I felt cold around my torso (even my back, though I was lying down) and around my arms, as if I was "glowing," but instead of warmth, it was cold. I became slightly worried at the possession but I got over it. (seems it was the fan and cold weather outside)

I was back in the dream and I was with five people (or were there four and I was the fifth?). They were supposed to be bad guys. They wore dark-colored clothing. I was looking at myself. "I" was a human-sized rabbit with five floating wooden rectangular tiles with a symbol on each, and those things were floating in front of me. One was right in front of my face. They're supposed to be "eyes." For some reason, I got the nickname "Five-Eyed Rabbit." It seems it's the spirit that possessed me.

We were going to fight my previous allies, and since I was possessed, I was on their side. The other bad guys were laughing about it. I think I was either not going to fight or have the rabbit control me. I complained out loud. I wanted to "have fun" as well, and I usually just get to watch the fight from a third-person perspective. They thought about it and let me fight.

Along the way, my "rabbit" form changed to a human-like form, but still with long rabbit ears. My body was dark and covered with tattoos. The five floating "eyes" were still there.

I can't remember much of the fight, but I found myself jumping up some "ancient" walls. I keep seeing walls, usually blank, and I was getting lucid. I finally reached the top of the wall, and I saw nothing but some light. It somehow symbolized awakening or enlightenment. I became some sort of holy man. I changed the other bad guys to good. It felt more like Avatar Aang somehow. From third-person view, I saw "me" as a monk-like person, shaven and wearing robes.

We were on a boat. It looks... light. Yellow, somehow, but not the drab yellow I usually see in my dreams. This one is bright yellow but doesn't hurt the eyes. It felt... Chinese, somehow. (Dragonboat? Chinese New Year?)

There were some bad guys in the boat but fortunately, they weren't able to escape. The bottom part of the boat where they were supposed to escape was sealed. I don't remember what they were there for.

In another area of the boat, we were talking about how to turn the wealth that's being accumulated to help the people. There's one guy there, not a monk like many present, who kept thinking of expanding. I suggested to keep cycling the income enough to pay the expenses and give the rest to... charity? The people? Improve people's lives? (unclear)

It was then that I shared I need to go soon. I need to go out and see the world (help more people?).

I was on a bus during daytime. I was with a friend or just an acquaintance (it keeps on changing during the bus ride). I went down, but then I was inside a jeep at night in Quiapo. I was thinking of going home. I looked at the shops outside. Then I saw that we were going through the underpass. I was supposed to go down before the jeep goes down the underpass. I told the driver to drop me off at the next corner. He asked what street. I just pointed at the closest one.

I went down but saw that it was not a street at all but an entrance to a fancy restaurant. I walked a bit further. I saw Lico (who I think was in the jeep with me) eating inside a restaurant. I talked a bit to him and then I moved on. I was walking along the street. It seems too narrow to be a street. Someone (mom?) warned me to be careful. I took my trusty pen from my right pocket and felt secure. I can face anything with it. (I draw.)



---

NOTES:

- I slept for 1.5 hours. Set alarm.
- I listened to meditation my McGonigal (default mode) before sleeping.
- No coffee, no medicine.
- I felt tired and dizzy.
- I woke up dizzy.

2/1/2015
Non-lucid
2:00PM Sunday nap
I'm talking to Ivy via Facebook.
"I really want to meet you. " I tell her. She says, "Yes, I know. Do you know Robbie?"
"Yes."
"Good. I'll be coming to his newest show."
"You will?! I'm going to be there!"
"Then, we'll be able to meet. When you see me, please call me Jeneane."
"I can't wait to meet you, Jeneane!"
Then, I'm in a dark room, with a window on the closed door. Two people are talking on the other side.
The room looks like it's outside, but I know it's inside. There's a campfire burning on the floor. Trees are growing out of the ground. Some stumps serve as benches. This is where Robbie's play will be!
I decide to walk through the trees to get out. I only walk a few steps before noticing how dark it is ahead of me. I get scared. I get a feeling that if I walk any further, something will happen to me. I yell "Hey guys!" The two outside look in through the window. "Open the door! Let me out!" They shake their heads.
The scene changes. I'm at the beach, on a dock. Below me, someone is projecting 'Finding Nemo' into the water, so it looks like they're swimming right in front of me. I walk off the dock and see a woman in a lounge chair.
Then, I wake up.

In the dream, I was experimenting with visions I was in a dark room. There was a "crew" of people helping out in the experiment. I supposedly saw a vision of me being raped on a sofa in a room. It was near the window. There was a curtain, but the sunlight comes in.

I was in a room. The kitchen. I was eating some food. We'll have an online meeting at work. Mom is nearby. She'll also have a meeting.

I saw a few more Animorph books. It was about Rachel. It was the story right after they fought David, I think, which was from her perspective. This one is still her perspective.

I was in a parkour gathering. There were Q&A's but I didn't ask anything. It was in a forest. Some were planning to go to the mountain or sea.

I was in Sulu with other people, avoiding shots from guns in order to visit a beautiful place near the sea.

After waking up at around 3:47 AM, I thought about trying out WBTB. It was hard going to back to sleep. I laid in bed for about an hour trying to. It wasn't until I noticed the shadows entering the bedroom windows that I realized I wasn't going to have a lucid dream that morning. Luckily, I was able to fall asleep minutes before everyone in the house got up.

Like many of my dreams, I started out inside my room. Two of my younger cousins were with me. The room around me was a complete mess. Everything felt so out of order. It also felt like a depressing night, especially with my two cousins with me. I watched the both of them playing video games on the television while I sat back and observed them. It got boring after a while. I didn't like having them here. They were hogging up all the fun.

Moments later, they finally announced that they had to go back home. I felt excited when I heard of this. They then began packing their things and headed out the room. I followed and noticed a change in the atmosphere upon entering the living room. It was dark, very dark. It also felt scary. My vision was blurred at that point and I couldn't recall what I had seen while walking through the living room. All I could see was the front door that led out to the front yard.

After both of my cousins left, I stood just outside the front porch watching both of them leave. My mother then came out of the house and did the same. I stood standing there, staring at the dark black sky and couldn't help but to feel something scary was about to happen to me. That is when I decided to manipulate the environment and take control of the dream. I didn't like how dark the sky was, so I change it. I closed my eyes and looked down at the ground right in front of my feet. I tried my very best to change the color of the sky. After a few seconds of imagining these dark skies to go away, I looked up and noticed a lighter color portion on the sky being lit up. It wasn't enough to get rid of all these unknown fears but it was good enough.

I became lucid in the dream just after the moment. The next moment got a little more intense. I walked out to the parkway next to my house and thought about some of the many things to do while lucid. After a brief pause, I immediately remembered that I wanted to summon someone. I wanted to summon Sydney, again. I extended my right arm back and summoned her behind me. After noticing her soft hands in my grasp, I pulled her out in front of me and immediately went for the kill. I pulled out a sharp knife and pulled it out in front of her. At that moment, something amazing happened. A couple of cop cars showed up; one to my left, one in front of me and Sydney, and one to my right. It was almost as if they were on my side. I wasn't even concerned if they'd try and detain me or not. I was bound to try anything.

While all that commotion was taking place, Sydney appeared to be a lot smaller. As a matter of fact, I think she went from a young girl to a really small old man, judging by the amount of wrinkles I noticed on him. I played along with the dream and decided to murder him anyway. I aim the sharp knife towards his chest and pierced his skin. The old man was scared at that point. He looked more pissed off than happy. I wasn't sure whether I should of taken the knife out, or leave it strapped to his skin. Seeing how the cops were already there, it didn't even matter. The policemen lead him towards my front door where he would be detained.

The scene then began settling down. I was still lucid, but the dream started to turn against me. It wasn't my vision, I just felt like something I was doing was making the dream go away. I refused to let that him and took advantage of one of the techniques I learned to help prolong the dream - the spinning method. I start spinning around like a top in hopes that I would stay in the dream longer. After a moment of doing that, it turned out I was doing it wrong. Not only did I have to spin but I had to feel the motions I performed while spinning. That worked a lot better.

After feeling it was safe to stop, I then decided to go on and summon Sydney, the actual her, a second time. I extended my right hand back and like many times, it came out a success. I pulled out Sydney in front of me and noticed a change in her clothing. Rather than wearing the purple uniform, she was wearing the white one. I looked up at Sydney and without a surprise, she smiled. Before I attempted to stab her in the gut, I told her how much I loved her. I then pulled out the same sharp, Micheal Myers knife out in front of me with my left hand and pushed it in to her skin. Unlike one of the previous dreams I had about stabbing her, I didn't feel anything after doing it. I don't think I remember looking at her while I did it. The dream ended seconds later.

I was in a room. It was dark. I watched a guy hunt for pokeballs. I went next. I went under the table and chairs, but it was too dark I couldn't see. Then I wondered, why am I hunting for pokeballs in the dark? I remembered I went to sleep because of the blackout. I became partially awake, but not completely. I was just aware I had my eyes open but can't see anything. I can vaguely see the window and curtains but it was hazy. Maybe it was just my imagination and I was still in a dream. I was a bit scared because I might have vision problem. I closed my eyes, hoping I'll be aware in my next dream.

In my dream, I was in a mall. I was looking for something or someone. I can't remember the rest clearly, but I wasn't aware.

[Been lazy with the dreams recently as a lot of alcohol has been forced down my neck over the festive period by kind relatives. I tried an SSILD last night with some success]

I hear music which I know is coming straight from my brain so I get out of bed and perform a reality check. Gah, it's one of those dreams where my room is dark and I don't feel like I have much control. I perform a little hop in the air and rub my hands together to try and gain some stability. Then I recall what ThreeCat suggested to me to just not worry about the darkness and it will tend to get lighter. This works to an extent, but I grow impatient and imagine the Moon and the Sun fast-forwarding in their paths across the sky. I see the light changing through my curtains - it appears they are obeying my thoughts, however they end up going a full cycle and stop with the moon back in the sky; still dark. I move to the window. There is someone standing with me. They have a watch on - I make a motion with my hand, trying to make the watch hands move clockwise, but to no avail. I lose control and wake up soon after that

Saturday 20-Dec-14 Dream I woke from about 6am.

I was asleep. I heard a knock on my door. I called out, "Wait a minute!"

I pushed out of bed and stumbled in the dark to put my nightgown on. My ballance was good because I clambered-over my been bag (in the dark) without falling.

I opened my bedroom door and there was a man with a nice dog. He said, "I just thought I betterlet you know that I'm keeping this nice dog in my room and it don't matter if the landlady finds out and kicks me out because I'm leaving in 2 weeks".

Then I saw another 2 nice dogs in the corridor near the courtyard. I got down and hugged the silky, floppy-eared, medium sizee, very calm and friendly dog, sitting next to the man.

Next, I was dreaming about a different man with 3 baby snakes, snuggly wrapped around hiswrist and fingers. I wanted one. Next he had a large (thick) 2 or 3 foot snake (black and yellow) on his chest. I wanted it. It jumped onto my chest, turned into ashadow, fell on the floor and the snake shadow disappeared. (eod)

When I woke I went to the calendar on the back of my door. Counted 14 days and circled the 3rd of Jan 2015 to see what happens to that guest here at my boarding house. Will he get a lovely dog and move out? He has lived here almost as long as me (about 20 years.

He hasnt knocked on my door for years but I see him lots around the boarding house. A few hours ago he knocked on my door to ask if the pension comes early when its due on a holiday day. I told him yes then told him about the dream. He's not a dog person and none of the 3 dogs mean any thing to him.

Just now 10pm Sun 21/12/14 I heard for the first tim, a TV add about a lotto megga-draw to be drawn on Saturday January 3rd

Wow

I'm going to ask Our-Dreaming-Mind to give me dreams of THAT lotto mega-draw. Then I'll give that guy the filled-out coupon with my dream numbers on it. Then give him the money to play the coupon. If the numbers come-up, the winnings are exclusively his.

So now I can fall asleep till the 3rd of January with that excitement, in the pit of my stomach, wondering if my dreams will hit the target.

Yippppppppppeeeeeeeee!!!!!

I was in the LRT area. Then I am in a jeep. We're in the middle of nowhere. It's dark outside, with some hints of trees and grasslands, like in the province. I wondered why I travelled here.

I was in a provincial area. I was in a shack/house made of bamboo or some sort of wood. Rob was there. I was looking for the comfort room. There was none, only a general area (inside the house) where you can pee. Uncomfortable. There were cats. I think one scratched me.

.../I briefly woke up, and now I'm staring at some books in front of me, I don't feel any dream body yet, just me laying on the bed, although keep looking in front of me as I'm standing, waiting when my arms will appear to hold a book in front of me. It doesn't take that much when I see my hand holding the book, and slowly start to feel my dream body. I love this feeling of transition! I hold the book with my both hands and now I can feel its weight. I start playing with it, turning it and throwing it up to hold it back again. Now I'm back into the dream. I let the book fall on the bed. I see my little one is still there from the previous dream. It's night and this room is not good illuminated. I take a look to the other books. I find my old big encyclopedic dictionary. I know I'm going to find what I'm looking for here. I know I just have to open the pages to see what I don't remember what is it. I open it but there's nothing special there. When I close it, there are two pictures of some ladies in the back. That's it, I want to get into a picture. I stare at one of them and apparently it starts to move. I don't see it clear. I want to go somewhere with more light. It's turning very interesting. The bathroom is a good place. I see its doors to my side. I want to get in when I realize I've confused it with the door of our closet which is next to it. I laugh while I ask my kid to go playing somewhere else. I turn the lights of the bathroom. The place gets brighter when I see my kid jumping to a second platform in front of the living room, which is separated by an empty space. It's dangerous there. I ask her to stop. I go there and hold her to show how deep is the fall. We see down there, it's around two or three floors fall. There are some curtains that I ask to move to show the empty space. I feel some vertigo because of the place is dark. We can see the floor down there. I pick up my kid and start complaining about how dangerous is to play that way. She starts to cry while I bring her to a safety place/...

I had one of those nightmares where I'm back in high school again and have to repeat all of my old classes. It was only a few days in and I'd already made a habit of being late. The worst part was knowing I was repeating high school yet again. I had some level of awareness of it - I even made a "not again" comment in the dream - but still didn't gain self awareness.

I was renting an apartment with a room-mate - I hadn't met him prior to renting, but needed a place to stay. He turned out to be incredibly weird and borderline creepy, but I tried to stay on cordial terms with him. The apartment was supposed to be downtown in he city that I currently live in. I got into a brief argument with him about exactly where my rent check was going, since I was handing it to him instead of the landlord, and I'd prefer to give it to the landlord directly. When he gave me trouble over it, I asked him if his landlord knew he had a roommate. He didn't give me a direct answer.

The dream reused some locations from old dreams. For example, we went to a diner that was in a building along train tracks, that had multiple levels, and ordered cheese steaks. The cook, a stout slavic man in his late 30s, with thick black curly hair, actually remembered me. In fact, on the way there, I told the DC "room mate" that I'd take him to one of my favorite places to eat. Again, so close... but still didn't quite reach lucidity.

Dreams from previous nights:
I was in an airport. I got a box off of the baggage carousel and opened it. It was full of cockatoos, packed neatly in rows. They were sleeping. I got one out of the box, and it woke up and flapped its way up to the top of my head, and then pooped there. I was really irritated by this. I couldn't figure out what to do with the rest of the cockatoos.

I become lucid while looking in a mirror (this happens a lot). The light is pretty dim (which also happens a lot and is a source of frustration). I don't recall any sort of prior dream, I may have been lucid from the start. I examine my reflection. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm dreaming or not, so I try to put my arm through the mirror. I just bump it away. Ha, I think, not so fast. I know I'm dreaming, I just want to prove it. I push at the mirror again, and put my arm through it. It ripples like water.
I decide to change my appearance. I close my eyes and open them, and my hair is in a long braid. I close my eyes and open them again, and now I am wearing a green cloak.
Unfortunately, the dream fades (I doubt I could have prolonged it) and I wake up (real, not FA).

Water has been showing up in my dreams lately!

Last night wasn't lucid. There was a lot of water around and every time I came close to it it either caused trouble for others or burned my skin. There was a lot of anger and misunderstood feelings in this dream. This guy also kept showing up he was tall with lighter colored hair, and he seemed frustrated about something

8.20
I brazenly walk into a power station - DS (well Ed's version of a power station...all large dark spaces - DS) A women at the entrance looks suspiciously at me but I brazenly carry it off and I'm gone like the grey old shadow that I am in my dreams.

I flit from area to area through a maze of pipes (which, if I had only become lucid, probably didn't even connect to each other) I dodge workers (DS)... even the 2 who are conducting some sort of obscure data-gathering exercise within inches of me.

I lay perfectly still in the gloom as one works literally alongside me, apparently unaware of my existence like you get in corny TV adventure progs...early Dr Who episodes were notoriously bad at that (the actors must have had tunnel-vision.) I enjoyed this dream.

So...I instruct my brain that any workplace or fellow-workers are dreams signs "because I'm old and I simply don't work anymore...it's ridiculous"...and how does my brain interpret that? It sends me into such places covertly I'm undercover so it's alright to be there.

It may just be my foxy old grey matter but I clearly have to choose my words carefully because, like Oscar Pistorius's defence council it latches onto any loophole in my instructions...anything to avoid triggering the magic words "its a dream" Of course it might just be that I'm currently as aware as a lump of granite.

I'm already cautious about the sheer volume of night-time instructions...keep it simple...now keep it unambiguous...boy do I need some little sweeteners. I was researching Ayahuasca (which is apparently an "MAO inhibitor" what wouldn't the Americans have given for that at the height of the Cold War?) Don't think I'll bother with that...the last things I need are inhibitions.

Avanti!

Dream - Lucid

I was in some video game when I became lucid. The lucidity lasted for a bit, but all I can remember from it was asking a Nicholas Cage,
"Tell me who you really are!"
He looked at me with a straight face, and responded with something like
"You don't want to know."
We talked some more, but I started to feel like I was talking out loud in my sleep.

I then woke up in another dream, laying on a pull-out couch. I asked whoever else was there, I think it was my brother, if I had been talking in my sleep. He said he didn't hear anything.

~

I was at work in the bakery, but, as usual, it looked nothing like the bakery does IWL. We were by a checkout counter. Someone asked me if I would mix the dough. I told them no, I wouldn't, it was too scary. The reason I said that it was scary was because when someone went to mix the dough, they had to go to a different part of the store. They had to travel through dark, creepy, cave/maze-like areas with enemies that would shoot you. You had to be armed and shoot them before they killed you. It was kind of like Doom/Goldeneye 64. The area where you mixed was also threatened by enemies. I told them that last time I did it, I was sitting down, trying not to fall asleep with my shotgun because enemies kept coming. I "remembered" this happening. I didn't want to go through that again. I preferred the safety of the bakery. There was a guy there who had been doing it every day. He held his own pretty well and was much more of an expert on it than me.

My manager then tried to toss me some frozen dough to take to the mixer. I don't remember what I did or said.

I then was really close to an enemy, an archer who slightly resembled King Graham from the Kings Quest games. His back was turned to me. I was trying to sneak up on him and throw him in the lava. I was being quiet, until I made a small noise. He heard it and turned around. We fought a little, but I don't remember much about it.

I then was going through the dark area for some reason. I had the guy in front of me who went all the time. I was shooting at enemies with a laser. I then started to get shot at, and my laser stopped working, so I turned around and ran the other way to get out of the enemy's sight. I looked down at my laser, and it was a Wiimote. When I'd fire it with the A button, the light on the Wiimote would turn red, signaling to me that I was too far away from a Wii for it to work. As I was turning a corner, a bullet grazed me, and it really hurt! That too was part of the reason I didn't like doing the dough; it hurt when you got hit, though if you died, you'd respawn.

I then saw this open part of the maze to the dough. It was very dark there. There were people there with different colored lights all down the middle of the room to direct us where to go. They also had to defend themselves from the enemies. I saw a top view of this room, and then I was at the beginning of the room. I didn't go to far into the room. I also saw, at some point, a view of a room from some stairs.

I then was at the checkout again. Someone came and asked if they had different dough runners, and they said yes. I then saw a shelf with bowls of dough on it for each day of the week, each with a different name on it. I really hoped my name wasn't up there. I looked, and didn't see it. I was, for some reason, a little disappointed, even though I didn't really want to do it.

~

I was at what was supposed to be my house, but it looked nothing like it. I kept thinking about the weed I had from a while ago that was in the top drawer of this white three drawer organizer I have. I kept thinking about when I was going to smoke it. I was then in my room, which looked like the room of my first apartment. I opened the drawer, and the bag was in there with some weed in it. I "remembered" when I bought it. I had recently smoked, maybe a few weeks prior, so my sobriety was already blown. I didn't want to smoke it inside though because it would smell like weed, and my roommates might not appreciate it. I then thought about how this woman who was living there, an older woman, liked weed, and wondered if I should ask her to smoke with me. She was there currently, the only other one home but me. I didn't ask her.

I then briefly woke up, still half in the dream world, thinking that I didn't really have any leftover weed. As I eased back into the dream world, I thought that of course I did. I went and checked again, and there it was.

Then, there was this tall, young black man in our kitchen. He had a Jamaican accent. He was yelling at us about something that we did wrong. It had something to do with work. He was mostly getting mad at two of my roommates who weren't there currently. He was yelling more and more, when finally, I had had enough and chimed in.
"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!"
I continued to yell at him, saying other things, throwing around a lot of profanities. He kept yelling also. There was one point where I was standing on a chair in front of him. I grabbed his face in my hands, which somehow corresponded to a TV screen, like this was being recorded or something, and told him that the roommates (who were an FFX character, Lulu, and someone I knew it college) were my friends, and he needed to leave them alone. The chair almost fell backwards at one point. I figured I'd probably get in trouble for this, but I didn't care; this guy was insulting people I loved. I also kept thinking that now since I was so mad I was definitely gonna smoke that weed that day.

The guy turned around and left, and I was now in the kitchen with Adam, the guy from college who was apparently my roommate, and one of the people the Jamaican man was yelling about. He was doing something by the stove. He was wearing a glittery brown plaid hat. I told him what happened. I then told him I loved his hat.
"It's so..." I started to say, when he interrupted and said
"Gay?" (IWL he is gay)
"You just wear it well!" I said.
"Thank you," he said.

~

It's interesting how after not smoking for almost two years I am still having these dreams about smoking. I guess it was such a huge influence in my life for so long, and well, it's an addiction that I've been battling for 5 years now. I guess the dreams just come with the territory.