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I'm posting this from my phone bc I didn't have time to post it from my laptop before I left home.

I had one decently sized dream, i was too lazy to write it down at first but I remember some of it. It was some abandoned city and everyone was killing/stabbing each other and it was almost like a video game. The houses were large and mostly made out of wood. I remember one part of the dream some guy was trying to buy a house from me that I was occupying. That's about all from the dream that I can remember right now

Ritual: After five hours of sleep I woke naturally and was determined to make a good WILD attempt. I spent an hour-long WBTB reading and writing about dreams, then returned to bed just before the sun rose. Despite a promising transition phase in which I observed hypnagogic visuals and audio distinctly manifesting, I was interrupted by frequent re-awakenings and eventually realized it was time to turn on my side and enter real sleep. I fully expected to WILD at this point because the conditions felt ideal, but instead I just had NLDs.

NLD: I had just left a cafe and was walking down the sidewalk to where I had parked a couple blocks away. The sky was oppressively dark, darker than seemed natural, and I composed a couple lines to try to describe it:

The world cowers beneath an enormous dark,
Unrepentent and unredeeming.

I wasn't sure if I liked them but figured I should write them down as soon as I could, because if I came up with a whole structure I could always come back to it and work it into something better.

As I entered the parking lot I noticed the moon. The last few days have seen a huge harvest moon, but this one was even bigger, with that sallow yellow hue that tints it when it is still low in the sky. Moreover, the pattern on its face was unusual: it resembled a winged dragon, drawn with iconic simplicity and in a rampant position like a figure on shield heraldry. I felt an urge to photograph it.

I opened the passenger side door, left it open, and sat down on the edge of the seat to brace myself so I could try to frame a good clear shot of it on my iPhone. I thought I felt movement and the image was bouncing around on the screen, the moon lost among some trees now. Was the car driving off with me? How inconvenient! I reached to the side and jerked up the emergency brake, then returned to my attempt to take a picture.

As I held up the phone again and looked at the image on the screen, I was more alert to the possibility of movement this time, and yes, I was able to confirm from it that indeed we were moving, and this was preventing me from taking clear photograph. Bad car! We were now driving rather quickly down a city street so I scooted fully inside and managed to get the door closed. (I realize now that in the dream the car door was hinged in the back and opened backwards, flat against the side of the car, rather than being hinged in the front and opening outwards as in WL.)

Once the car door was closed I wanted to get control of the car back, so I awkwardly climbed over into the driver's seat. A towel seemed to be wrapping around my feet and impeding me, but with some effort I managed to get myself seated appropriately so that I could take over the driving. I had been planning to do some other things before leaving the quarter of the city that we'd come from, but by now we had driven away too far for it to be convenient to return, so I decided to just go home instead.

After that I was waking up, but there was one more scene where I was standing next to a tram and again wondered if I wanted to return to the area I'd been in at the start of the dream. Once more I decided not to, since I couldn't be sure the tram would go to the right place either, and I was at that point under the impression that it was the tram, not my car, that had driven off with me.

Then I realized with exasperation how absurd it was that dreams continually present me with situations that are extraordinary by the standards of waking life, yet I usually don't recognize them as evidence of dreaming. Why not? "I guess I just don't find them strange" was all I could come up with. Later I realized that I was at least still half in a dream state as I had these thoughts, and didn't realize I was dreaming then either.

Dream - Lucid

The only thing I remember about this one is that I was in a dark bedroom at night, and I wanted to leave to go to a different apartment. Something about Cherie' and Jeremiah being there as well, or they were on their way. I thought about Cherie', Dallas, Jeremiah and I all sharing the same bed. Something about me trying to get Dallas to leave with me. He was in the living room.

~

I was going to a dealership to purchase a car. I thought about how my husband had just done the same. I got out of my car and went inside. The showroom had a few cars on display in it. I saw the one that I was going to purchase. It was the exact car that Dallas got, but instead of a dark metallic grey/silver, it was slightly darker in hue. There were many salesmen in there. Mine finally found me. He was an older man with greying hair and a grey beard. He greeted me and we went into his office. I sat down at his desk across from him. He had the results of my credit check. He said they were bad. He handed me the paper, and on the right side there were some numbers, the last one being the amount I had to pay each month. I only had to make payments of $37 and some odd cents every month. Wow! My credit must not be that bad. I told the dealer that my husband had to make payments over $300 every month. My credit must not be that bad for such a seemingly low APR. I thought that maybe it was because Dallas had an accident that was his fault, and it upped his APR.

I then realized I needed to transfer all my things into the new car and someone would have to drive the old one home. I got out my cellphone to call Dallas, but I then realized that I didn't have anyone's number anymore. I guess I got a new phone with the car. I went to my new car in the parking lot. It was dusk. I sat down in the driver's seat. I saw how the dash looked exactly the same as Dallas's car. I knew it would drive the same as well. I thought about this, thinking maybe I should have gotten something different to mix it up a bit.

I was then at the house I grew up in, sitting on the couch in the living room. Courtney S. was sitting next to me. She had what looked like this HUGE spider. I freaked out; I hate spiders, but she told me it was some kind of cat spider? I then looked at it again, and it looked like a Siamese cat/tarantula hybrid. I started to pet it somewhat cautiously, but she seemed to like it. I asked Courtney S. if it was poisonous, and she said yes. I was careful to pet it the right way so it would be happy and not bite my hand. It went to the other side of the couch, hidden from view, and then came back and just looked like a white piece of paper with fold lines on it. It then moved, and was the spider cat again.

There was also another spider cat, though I can't remember the breed. I was petting it also, now on the floor of the living room. At some point after that, Courtney S.'s cat spider bit me on two of my fingers. I told Courtney S., and asked if there was anything I needed to do. She said no, my fingers would just get kind of swollen. I imagined this happening.

Dream - Lucid

I was going into Dallas and I's bathroom. It was very dark. I had to get up out of bed to poop. I started to sit on the toilet, when Dallas came into the doorway and started coming towards the toilet.
"What are you doing? I have to poop!" I said. He kept coming. I got up. I assumed he had to poop too.
"Are you really gonna make me use the other bathroom?" I said. He didn't say anything. I took that as a yes. I started to head towards the doorway to our bedroom to go to the guest bathroom. Dallas started to shut the door to our bathroom. I then started to hear noises coming from the living room area, and started to panic a little. Someone was in our apartment. Before Dallas could shut the door all the way, I caught it with my hand. I said something like
"Dallas, someone's in our apartment!"
I started to panic, and all my vision went black. I tried to scream for Dallas, but nothing came out. I then realized that I had been dreaming, and decided to calmly wait for myself to awaken instead of panicking.

I then woke up on Dallas's chest. Phew, just a dream. I was so glad. I then started to hear noises again. I was really confused. Was I not awake? I started trying to wake Dallas up, but he was dead asleep. I pinched him, I tried to yell his name but again, it wouldn't come out. Really? Is this really a dream again?I thought to myself. Vision went black again, and then I woke up for real.

Another 10 minute nightmare. I wasn't asleep long at all.

~

I was at a bowling alley bowling with Dallas, but it was more like ski-ball; we were throwing smaller balls at the pins down the lane instead of an actual bowling ball. There was almost no one there; we were the only ones playing. Dallas then said something about how the bowling alley was closing for good soon; it was going out of business. I looked around and I could see why. It was so dead in there. I then went to throw my ski ball, but it slipped out of my hand and I accidentally threw it behind me.

I then saw a very small child, a male toddler, carrying what looked like a six pack of beer up to the lanes, but it was actually a six pack of ski balls.

~

I had these two cakes made for me. I was at work I believe. Both were big and delicious looking with cream cheese icing on them (freakin yum). One had off-white cream cheese icing with red decorations. I had to do something with them to keep them safe or something, I can't quite recall.

Then, I saw the outside of my apartment. Someone was coming up the stairs. It was daytime outside. Then, something happened; a roll in a bag of rolls died? And it seemed so inconsequential, but I couldn't proceed with anything at all now. It was like playing a Sierra adventure game, where you don't do something in the beginning of the game and you get to the end and you have to start all over. I had to "start over" from a point before that to see if there was anything I missed, anything I could do to prevent the death of the roll.

~

Yay insomnia! Again! Woohoo. Also these 10-minute nightmares are very puzzling to me. It has happened to me quite often in the past few months. I guess what I don't get it how am I dreaming without being in REM? I thought REM sleep came later in the sleep cycle? Like, I will literally be asleep for 10-15 minutes for these nightmares. There was one that I was asleep for about an hour. Anyone have any thoughts?

Dream - Lucid

I was with my mom and some other lady at a department store. The lady was looking for something specific. I split up from them and looked at other things on my own. We met back up at some point, and the lady kept going down aisles. I wanted to leave.

Then, we were at I think my grandparents' place having a dinner in my dead grandfather's honor. There was an empty seat next to me, and then the seat where my grandma was sitting. I thought I saw my grandpa sit down next to me; it was like a hallucination, but then I remembered that he's dead and the hallucination disappeared.

The dinner was more like a celebration of his life rather than one of mourning.

There was more to this one, but I can't recall right now.

~

I was married to Dallas, but Ashley lived with us as well. I had told her she could be our wife too. I "remembered" doing so. We were in our apartment.

I was speaking with Ashley, and she was telling me I needed to give Dallas a bj. I didn't want to, but she seemed very firm about it. It didn't matter; I still didn't want to. She then said I needed to sleep in the room with Dallas at night, and she didn't want me to watch Netflix anymore before bedtime. I thought about myself watching Netflix in a separate room from them at night in bed. I told her I could turn it down, but she didn't care. She then said she was going to take it away, and I said no. I was adamant about watching my Netflix. I feel like she was speaking on Dallas's behalf about all of this.

I then thought about something that I guess I hadn't considered when I had asked Ashley to be with us: We all had to have sex. But...we hadn't. I hadn't had sex with just Ashley, and Dallas hadn't had sex with her either. I thought about how this could complicate the relationship. I also thought Ashley probably really wanted to have sex with me. I had never had sex with a woman before.

~

I had to go to work at Kohl's. I was working my last few days there, finishing out my two week's notice. I walked in, and it looked like I was walking into the back of my job now more than it looked like Kohl's. There were many people back there, though I do not think anyone from Kohl's was actually there. I seem to remember an old friend, Alex being there. A few people saw me, but I remembered that I left something important at home, and I needed to go and get it. I turned around and went back.

Then, at home, Ashley told me that she called and told them that I had drank way too much the night before so I couldn't come in on time. Um...ok. I guess she thought she was somehow covering for me.

I then was driving back to Kohl's, wondering why they were even letting me work since I hadn't shown up for some of my shifts that week. Oh well. As I was driving, I would drive through these areas where the road would get all unpredictable and spooky-looking and the sky was pitch black. I'd look down at my hands, and they would flicker in and out of being a skeleton. At this point, I wouldn't have control over where I was going; the road was skinny and one-way with no room to turn around, and no turns whatsoever. I "knew" about these areas (more "remembering"), and was afraid I'd eventually come to the point where I would be a skeleton for a long period of time instead of just the flickers. I got to a point where I just felt like it would happen for sure, and I started to flicker a lot, but then, I went out of the black area, and I was fine.

I then was in traffic in a small downtown-like area. The sky seemed to be grey as if it was an overcast winter morning. I drove by this small car that had a small trailer hitched on the back of it. It didn't have any walls, just a frame, and I could see that it was carrying a space suit and something else. It looked as if it was about to tip over, and it did. I stopped immediately to help. So did many others. I went and picked some things up off the ground for the guy who was driving. I hoped the space suit wasn't damaged too much; it was valuable cargo.

As I was going back to my car, everyone who helped the man was being congratulated, and being given a reward. I got one as well. It was a bunch of little sticker-type things. I was happy to be getting recognized for helping. I headed back to my car, which was right next to where the accident took place.

I then was at Kohl's again. I wondered if anyone thought it was suspicious that I had left, Ashley said I was hungover, and I came back just fine. Oh well. I then saw David, and he gave me a hug. He then grabbed my butt as he was hugging me. I liked it. I guess he could do that now that I was leaving Kohl's. I guess he had a crush on me or something. I said something to him, but I can't remember what.

After that, I saw Shane. Shane did have a crush on me. He sent me these cartoon movies/comics he had made that remind me now of Tomodachi Life graphics, of him and I being together and having fun. One of them was of him proposing to me. But I was married to Dallas, so that couldn't happen. He did other things for me as well on a computer. He was really in love with me.

~

I was at my current job taking my lunch break. I was eating in some weird corner of the store that doesn't exist IWL with a coworker from Kohl's named Cheryl. We were eating and talking. I watched her talking, and noticed she had a grey mustache. I thought about it for a minute, but I didn't think it was weird. She then burped very quietly. I commented on it jokingly, saying
"You can do better than that!"
She then replied saying something about the burp, about how she couldn't do better than that. I came back with
"I've heard you do better than that!" I "remembered" her burping a little louder in the break room at Kohl's. She laughed. I was glad she laughed; I wasn't sure whether or not she'd find that funny.

Then, her break was over, and I still had some time left on mine. I decided I needed to grocery shop. I went and got a basket, and went to the produce section. I saw these weird, small oval-shaped tomato-like fruits that had zippers on them. I had wanted to try them before. I started to look through them, trying to find one that was fresh. They were very picked over, but I did finally find one, a small, round one. I put it in my basket. I thought about how I needed to get bananas for Dallas and, well, lots of other things. Too many to fit in the basket. I needed a cart instead. I wanted to put my basket down somewhere so I could grab a cart, but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to do that. I put it down on a white counter by the door, and nervously pondered on whether or not I should grab a cart real fast or not. I felt weird and drowsy at this point also. I then decided to ask if it would be ok for me to put my basket down while I grabbed a cart. There were three cashiers working, all with their backs to me. I said
"Hey! Excuse me! ...Cashiers!"
Nothing. They either didn't hear me, or were ignoring me. Whatever. I went out and grabbed a cart. I then went and had to do something else real fast, but I can't remember what. The cart was gone when I got back, however. Ugh. I knew that would happen.

I then went outside. It was daytime and sunny out. I was underneath the overhang. I started to draw with these marker pens on part of the wall. I drew 3 or 4 cartoony faces with just eyes and a nose, no mouth, with an arm. Hard to explain what they looked like. I remember a boy and a girl being the first two that I drew, but I can't remember the gender of the others. I drew them all in a line together, and underneath it, I wrote, in cursive,
"Sarah is dead "
Sarah is my brother's fiance' IWL. Wow. (IWL I don't want her to die!). I had mixed feelings about what I wrote.
To the right of the faces, I wrote something else. Underneath that something else, I started to write out one of my dreams. I then realized I needed to go back from lunch, but I needed to clean this up first so I wouldn't get in trouble. I spit on a paper towel and started trying to clean it up. It was kind of coming off. I was cleaning off these neon yellow and orange smiley faces. They would fade a bit, but weren't going away completely. I then started to rub them a certain way, and they disappeared. I did that to all of it to clean it up. It looked good as new. One of my coworkers, TJ, then came up and said he'd clean up my mess for me, but then, he saw that I already had.

July 31, 2014

---

Big Building

I was in a large, dark building. It was really dark. I couldn't see much, but I could hear some creepy noises. Did I mention it was dark?

I was with some people, and we had snuck into the building during the day, and then it closed, and so we had to spend the night. This was all in order to meet a famous person that was supposed to be there the next day.





Disney Weddings

I was on a game-show where everyone was given a gorgeous dress, and went off to get married. The group of women in my game-show were all in Disney princess gowns, but like, super fancy and elegant and beautiful. I was in Belle's dress, which made me happy, since she was always my favorite of the Disney princesses.





I took a nap that day after classes, and had this dream about math:

Pizzas

I was taking the math assessment we had given to the 1st graders, except that instead of all the things we had them do, all we had to do was to do math with manipulatives (think base-ten blocks, beans/beansticks, craft sticks and bundles of ten craft sticks ect).

Except our manipulative was french fries and pizza slices. A French Fry represented 1, and a Piece of Pizza was ten French Fries (10). Ten Pieces of Pizza made a Whole Pizza (100). We had to solve addition problems and trade in the answers to collect enough to make a Whole Pizza, at which point we were done with the test.

All I could think about during it was, "God I thought Tim (my Math Teacher Teacher) said we shouldn't use food in our math problems!"

6:13 pm

I was lying on my back and heard a magical sounding twinkle, like in the old cartoons I guess. My eyes were still closed. I then was seeing a dream image where I was in a mall, it's really hazy. A guy was talking to me but I couldn't hear clearly. I said something back to him, something about me being in a dream I think. Then I was lying back on my bed. I heard that twinkling again. I could feel my body but everything's hazy.

Then I imagined moving my body, and I felt like I was floating. At this point I was still "closing" my eyes. I felt that familiar buzz throughout my body. I decided to stand up and open my eyes. I did, and I knew it was a lucid dream. I had no plans whatsoever. I saw my door partially open. It's also dark outside, like there was a blackout. I think I was scared of what might jump at me. I moved to the window and pushed my head through the glass, and my upper body followed. I saw that it was very cloudy. I thought maybe I should try to fly. Unfortunately, I could still feel the (imaginary) pull of of gravity, and I don't the shock of awakening (or peeing in my pants). I looked at the building across. I extended my left hand and tried to turn the lights on of a room from that building. No much effect. The overall mood is still dark.

I dropped into a dream. I was in a friend's house. It was also dark. I tried to turn on the lights; didn't work, and I asked them. They didn't answer. R and L were there, and there was another guy (D?). I asked R if he was feeling better. He said something, but the thought came through as he's still trying to get better. The thought also included about me being lucky I get to live my life on my own terms. Then he playfully grabbed me with a full nelson (reverse, the way I do it, which is a mistake), and L playfully punched me twice on the upper right side of my chest. I tried to laugh but couldn't get some air. They released me. I realized I couldn't talk, or didn't really talk. We were talking through our minds.

NOTES:

- I slept around 4 p.m.
- I ate late lunch (jasmine rice with turmeric and bay leaf plus instant la paz batchoy).
- I drank coffee (Cafe Blanca).
- I meditated to Sam Harris's 26-minute meditation audio.
- I planned to just take that as a break and go back to work.
- I was (and still is) feeling a bit sick, slight headache with runny nose.

4 January 2014

Note: This is the first dream where the dialogue is memorable enough to jot down although much of it will need to be paraphrased. There will be some holes in the dialogue. Believe it or not this is one of my favorite dreams because it is one of the most vivid and made for a good narrative (I love dreams with good narrative). Anyway it may not be the most positive but it is definitely the most interesting dream I have had.

[~]-used to indicate hole in dialogue

There may be some phrases I use that you don't recognize

Aperture-a random opening that leads the dreamer to (what seem like) completely random spots. For example: a closet door that takes one from his bedroom out to an open field or a classroom door that leads from the classroom out to the edge of space would be considered an aperture.

"Denizens" are what I call my dream figures.

It was nearing the last day of the final year of Prairie Park School. Me and all of my friends sat around a table in a dimly lit room. Sitting there was my friend from scouts Nick, he sat across from me along with Sarah. Next to me was Alternian troll, Terezi Pyrope. The school was deserted and we sat silently. Sarah sat working on her paper for her finals or something; I cannot recall what everyone else was working on I just remember that it was silent; no one said a word to one another. I had eyes for Terezi, I am not sure why. There was an aperture at the top of the steps that led into the house of the apple family and I do believe that the other denizens had use of the aperture. I was staying with the apple family and was in a room with four bunk beds. I think I was bunking with Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle. Now Twilight was unusually quiet and seemed to spend most of the dream brooding over something, people didn’t even notice her existence. The strange thing here is that Twilight was in her usual pony form whereas the apple family consisted of anthropomorphic versions of themselves. There was not much happening beyond this point in time that I can well remember.

The next day was the same as the first; we all sat in the exact same spots in silence. Sarah worked silently on her paper while everyone else seemed to sit staring at the table. Terezi was just outside of my field of vision to my right. The room was the same as it was yesterday, empty, dim, somewhat eerie. I wonder what everyone was thinking as we approached the end of the year. What was going through everyone’s mind? What was going through my own mind? Even I did not know. After nearly two straight workdays of complete silence Sarah finally spoke up and said: “Dammit! Being friends with MT was a waste of time [~] can’t get this project done because of him [~] wish I was never friends with him.”

I heard this and felt as though I had been knifed in the back by a friend. This was not a sentiment that I was unfamiliar with. One would think that I would be used to it by now, nonetheless it stung. Just as always the wound felt fresh, as though I was experiencing this pain for the first time because, the truth is, you never do get used to it no matter how many times it happens and no matter how much you try and convince yourself otherwise. I was even more shocked to find that nick shared the same sentiment as did every one else there. I was unable to recount exactly what was said but there was definitely a common theme amongst the group: MT was a waste of time. I was blamed for everything that was wrong in their lives and I tried to defend myself but I was not given much of a chance to speak.

I was catatonic. I had no idea how to react and didn’t even have a firm grasp on my own thoughts. I was slumped over, staggering like a drunk. If the human mind really is designed to respond to a verbal attack as it responds to a physical one then it was a miracle I could even stand after such a merciless beating. I made my way through the aperture hoping to get away from all the hate and negativity but it seems that the fates had declared me undeserving of such respite. I would say that the apple family’s attitude towards me had changed but honestly I don’t think they liked me to begin with. The only thing that had changed was the volume at which they voiced contempt, that is to say, they were no longer keeping their opinions to themselves. Lazy, worthless, words along those lines which were spoken by the apple family, hurled at me from all directions. I did not have supper that night. Confused and upset, I retreated to my room. Although I suppose technically it was our room, Twilight Sparkle was still there although mentally she was lost in her own little world all day everyday. I was not surprised to find her in the exact same spot I left her slumped over on her bed with her wings hanging limb over her shoulders; just…thinking.

The next morning was no better than the previous night. I went out only to be greeted by more insults and put-downs. I think my peers from school were there at the house having breakfast and they willfully joined in on the onslaught. A huge unmemorable chunk of time passed before I was back at school with my so called friends. There wasn’t much change from yesterday except that the denizens were wandering around this time exchanging the same dialogue they always had been. At some point I saw Terezi and I tried to grab her attention: “Don’t talk to me,” she said angrily as she began to storm off. For the first time ever in this dream segment I had a clear grasp on my emotions. I knew what I was feeling and I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I could feel it in my cheeks, my skin tone would not show it, but I was red. I was furious! Much so that I was trembling. Such wonton hatred from a girl to whom I have barely even spoken. “STOP!” I shouted, “Just fucking stop, and listen, please! You at least owe me that.” She did not say a word nor did she turn to face me but she did stop. She stood still with her head raised as though to say, I’m listening.

I struggled to gather my words as a lump had formed in my throat and I would be damned if I gave her the satisfaction of letting her see me cry. “What is my crime? What have I done to you? For fuck’s sake! Where is any of this coming from?”

She turned her head slightly, “You wasted my time…you didn’t like me back.”

“What?”

She turned to face me with trepidation in her voice, “I liked you, you idiot! I liked you all this time [~] I sent you all kinds of signals and you never returned the sentiment! I wasted the year trying to get your attention and looked over me completely!”

To this I did not cry, I did not shout, in fact, I smiled. I smiled and I began to chuckle and soon again I started to laugh. I was not happy about what I had just heard, in fact I was livid. But what she had just said was just so fucking ridiculous, how could I not laugh? “Are you serious? Are you fucking serious?? You are all pissy at me for not reading your mind? How could I have known? You never fucking said anything! And, newsflash, I liked you too!”

“What? Then why didn’t you say anything, idiot!?”

“I didn’t know what to say [~] you didn’t say anything either and you don’t see me abruptly snubbing you now do you!?”

I do not remember her response but our friendship was never repaired. We turned away from each other both in an angry huff but before I walked away I turned and asked her: “What about the others? Why are they angry with me?”

She barely turned to me again; her words were cold steel “You wasted their time too. You held them back.”

On my way back to the aperture I heard them going on about all of the things that they could have accomplished if they hadn’t of known me. I left them without saying anything; back into the cold unwelcoming residence of the apple family. Even Apple Jack did not care to speak to me and I still had no idea why. I retired to my room with my roommate Twilight. I may have spoken to her; venting the events of the past three days. I didn’t shout nor did I yell; I just talked to her. I knew she didn’t listen and I knew that she was not cognizant of me or even what I was saying. She was too preoccupied with her own naval gazing but it was nice to have someone to talk to about this regardless. I fell asleep that night for the last time before I was taken out of myself.

Imagine that I am a camera drone getting a view of the table at which the four of us were sitting.

ZOOM OUT: I see the school, Prairie Park, among buildings but these are not ordinary buildings; these are crystal buildings. Among the buildings I see jet black, jagged, and spiky vines growing amongst them. The top half of the sky seems to be over cast with vines.

ZOOM OUT: I see more of the city now. There are more vines wrapping around buildings and getting in the way. Aside from a small break towards the tops of the shorter sky scrapers the vines seem to come together to form a dome over the city. Anyone could see now that the city is being consumed.

ZOOM OUT: I now have a full view of the city. There is no doubting that this is the Crystal Empire coming under siege by a merciless onslaught of parasitic plant life.

ZOOM OUT: I am now miles out of the city which appears to be floating in an eerie nebular haze. The city is in between two hemispheres composed of these vines both of which are closing in on one another. There is but a small break in between the two hemispheres and in a matter of moments they will make contact; entrapping The Crystal Empire forever.

I see one vine stretching away from the mass towards a small floating house orbiting the city just a few miles out. This was the house at which I was staying; that is where the aperture had been taking me. As I get closer I see Twilight Sparkle smiling at the catastrophe through the window as though she were marveling a masterpiece. I knew that she was responsible for this as I could hear her internal dialogue for the first time.

“I know what I am doing is wrong,” she said “and I also know that I am not myself.” Dark music plays in the background as she dialogues: “Perhaps I should stop this and end this madness for the sake of my friends who are trapped inside, but why should I?” I understood now what was going on in her mind. She had been hurt by people, Lord knows how many people and Lord knows how close to her these people were. She had been betrayed and lied to and now her pain was made manifest through these vines.

Now here was her moment; her moment to choose what she will do. Will she save the Empire from certain doom or embrace the darkness that is gradually overtaking her heart and allow this kingdom to be consumed? As the vine grew closer to her an evil grin grew ever wider across her face, it was clear at that point: a choice had been made. The vine reached for her and Twilight extended her hoof ready to grab it. It was as though darkness itself was extending a welcoming hand and Twilight was ready to accept. She was ready to embrace a life of anger, sadness, and revenge.

Just before Twilight grabbed the branch she thought to herself: “I did not really care about The Crystal Empire for what is a pony other than a mere insect?”

That was the very last thing I heard before waking up and it is the only line I remember verbatim. The music cuts out as my eyes open.

Trivia
Terezi Pyrope was the odd one out as she was the only non-human at the school

The house looked just like my third childhood home aside from my bedroom which resembled a slightly bigger college dorm.

I have seen this nebula two other times in previous dreams.

Dream - Lucid

I was on the computer in the living room of our apartment. It was nighttime and extremely dark in the room, save from the light of the computer. I was showing my husband a YouTube video that had a song playing in the background. The song had something to do with poverty (I was reading something about poverty before I went to bed). I had a feeling my husband was annoyed because I was making him watch the video. The screen on the computer then went black. I had a general feeling of unease. I clicked something and it came back up on a different screen. I then clicked the YouTube tab that the video was open in, but it went black again. Now, the room was even darker.

Then, I was sitting on the floor, and my husband on the couch. I was sitting right below him; I could see his legs. The feeling of unease was worse now. It was so dark...and something just didn't feel right. I could still sense the annoyance of my husband too. I was scared to look at his face, thinking the face of the devil would flash in front of my eyes instead of his. I climbed up onto the couch with him. I had my sleeping mask on now? I was "sensing" what he looked like without looking at him with my eyes. I could "see" his body, but when it got to his face, it was like I had heat vision, and it looked red. I couldn't see any details of his face. I then bravely took off my sleeping mask.
"Dallas?" I said. I slowly looked towards his face.

I did not see anything scary, but the feeling of unease came to a climax. I partially realized I was dreaming, and started to scream, trying to wake myself up. I then heard this terrible noise; the best way I can describe it is screeching, but that isn't accurate. It didn't sound like anything I've ever heard before. It was horrible and unearthly. I struggled trying to move my limbs as the dream faded to black; I wanted to wake the fuck up.

I then woke up and was wide awake for awhile. I was only asleep for about 15-20 minutes for this nightmare.

~

I was with this guy I "dated" when I was 11 years old (IWL he is gay now). I was with him, but I realized I couldn't be with him. So I had to break his heart, and he was very sad. He looked different too; he had blonde hair and a different looking face in the dream than in IWL, though I knew it was the same person.

~

I was playing a video game. It was like Mario 64 but with something else in it. I was trying to beat Bowser, but the fight was a multi-stage fight that if you died on the last stage of, you'd have to start over again. I had played this boss many times trying to beat it, but I kept dying. Then, I figured out something about the fireballs coming out of the lava around the platforms, and when I would do a certain move with them, Bowser would get hit twice. There were two bosses here as well, not just Bowser. I remember pausing the game at some point.

This dream was quite long, but the rest of the details evade me.

~

My husband and I were shopping at Kohl's. We had split up to pick some things out. A lady then was going through our things and adding up the prices, but not at the cash register. Dallas had gotten lots of things, like peach-colored women's nightgowns, men's and women's shorts, and men's pants. We were racking up a bill of $555 before we were done going through everything, so I had to lay down the law and decide what we needed and what we didn't need. We didn't need the nightgowns, nor did I need new shorts, but he definitely did, so we held onto those. He had also picked out some nice short-sleeved button-ups that didn't look like anything he'd actually wear, but he said he needed them. I kept some jeans too that he wanted, and asked if they were size 32. He said no, they were 36x30. I asked if they fit better, and he said yes, so much better.

I then saw that Dallas was dressed in one of the nightgowns. I was having trouble discerning whether or not the nightgown was supposed to be for a man or woman, though, looking back, it was obviously a woman's nightgown. He was being silly, making the nightgown sway at the bottom.

~

Yeah, another mostly sleepless night. I was dog-tired last night too; I stayed over at work to help out because there was a call out, and we were very busy. Also, the night before I didn't get much sleep, so I thought for sure I would tonight. Guess again. Ugh, body, you are not cooperating with my brain. I want to have more LDs! Can't do that if I can't sleep.

But I suppose I should be more patient about it. This happens to me from time to time, especially during times of stress. Things will calm down again soon, and I will have more LDs. Hopefully will be able to accomplish some of my goals as well, such as more dream sharing, and delving into past lives. Can't wait to tell you guys about these things when they happen!

This happened a while ago. I was playing Terraria for 24 hours straight, no breaks. Eventually, I just said "This has to stop" so I deposited my earnings into my wooden chest and went to sleep. That day, because I stayed up all night, I had a dream that I was in Crimson armor, at the surface with the crimson equivalent to a Nightmare Pickaxe [Nightmare is the name of the pickaxe, not relevant to the emotional complexion of the dream] and the sky was a maraschino cherry red tint. It was slightly darker, because it had a crimson-like setting to it. Despite not actually being in the crimson, the setting was very crimson-like. Crimson is the name of the biome, note, not the color of the sky. Crimson basically is the equivalent to the Corruption, the main antagonistic force in Terraria. It spreads very quickly, and is filled with evil enemies. Anyway, back to the dream. The ground was a very solid black, and I was wearing crimson armor. I was swinging the pickaxe at the ground. This seemed to continue in a loop for 10 seconds. What went through my head at the time follows"

0:01: Huh. This is weird.
0:04: Wait, why does the sky look weird?
0:07: Wait, how am I playing this without a keyboard or mouse? Virtual Reality is many years away....
0:09: Wait, I'm dreaming!

I awoke and thought: No; I wanted to be God of my dream... Maybe summon skeletron prime and become Deus Ex Machina.. I couldn't get back to sleep.

Date Not Specified

More often than not, you are not fully aware of yourself when you are in the dream realm. More often than not, you may find yourself in a nonsensical scenario full of questionable details and content. There aught to be many questions running through your mind as the situation unfolds before you but alas, your mind is not there. Such was the case for me as I wandered through the forest with this strange girl who I shall deem: Eurydice. There were many perfectly valid questions that I did not ask when I was wandering through this region with Eurydice. Why did this strange girl remain only just outside of my field of vision? Why were we wandering through this black forest? Why did the sky glow with such a dark red color? Where were we exactly and where were we going? So many questions that should have rang through my mind as I walked side by side with Eurydice. So many questions that I did not bother to consider.

There were many questions that I did not bother to ask but there was also information that I already knew. I was aware that I was in a forest with this amazing girl. I knew that the sky was red. I knew that we were ascending up a superficial incline that was protruding out from the side of a cliff. I knew that there was at the very least a seventy degree drop to my left one that was stifled by a row of black trees. And I also knew that this girl, walking right by my side, was the most amazing girl with whom I had the pleasure to spend time. I knew that I was more than happy to be by her side and that she felt the exact same way about me. We made each other happy, Reader. We did not have to do or say anything to each other. All we had to do was exist. Her aspect alone was enough to fill me with joy. It did not even matter that I could not fully see her. Just having her by my side was enough.

We did not know where we were going, we knew not where the path would take us but it did not matter to us. We ascended confidently and without fear. Indeed we were not afraid. Quite the contrary, in fact. There was something about being out in the dark wilderness that made us feel at peace. We felt relaxed there and the incline did nothing to delude the fact that we were happy where we were. So we ascended and we moved and we made our way to the top, she and I.
I can only presume that we made our way through an aperture that was waiting for us at the top of the incline for when we got there we found ourselves in an entirely different setting. We were in a suburban area that was built on the side of a mountain. The streets zigzagged up the summit of the mountain just like any mountain trail would. We were greeted by a population of extremely bubbly people. The setting was very warm and sunny and everyone seemed to be overjoyed here. Everywhere we were greeted with enthusiastic smiles in this bright in sunny pleasant little town. It was so…disgusting.

We could not stand this place nor could we stand these people. Everyone and everything about this place was just so saccharine. We both felt suffocated by the fuzziness of this town. We were desperate to get away from that place, so we did. We ran back down to the aperture and found ourselves back at the top of the incline. Back in the black wood. We were alone again and once again we were happy. A sigh of relieve came from us both as we were greeted by the still silence of the forest dark. I may have looked straight at her for the first time in this segment but she was shrouded in haze, rendering her unperceivable. This did not matter to me. As I stated before, her aspect was enough. We joined hands and proceeded back down alone together once again. There were no other people, no animals, there weren’t even any insects to fill the forest with the slightest bit of ambient noise. Not even the wind gave any sound. There was nothing here. It was just her and I. And that was all we needed.

Trivia
The forest bore a striking resemblance to the third forest level in PacMan World 2.
The town was reminiscent of a mountain city I saw on google images.

Characters:
Ruby Gloom is the titular character of a spooky kid's show.

Squid-Girl is the plucky protagonist of an anime program.

26 July 2013

It was the hour of dusk in the quiet town of Gale, a city that I have visited several times in previous dreams. I can’t well remember how I became mixed up in this crew but I had no complaints. I was a member of what may have been a private investigation group. Either that or a mercenary group. Such a distinction might be obvious between these two different labels but the thing is, I am not sure what it is we were doing what we were doing or for what purpose. But I might be getting ahead of myself. I was a member of a shady group of four. I cannot remember what the group was or if it even had a name so for now I shall refer to us as “The Midnight Crew.” A gang name borrowed from a popular web-comic, but I digress.

As I said before, there were four of us. One was a tall man, slender, and dressed in 17th century casual European attire (let’s call him Damien). I suspect that he was the leader of our group. Another was a spry young girl; she could not have been any older than thirteen (let’s call her Leena). She was young and hyperactive but she was also agile; a very useful member of our crew. Then there was a tall young woman with silver hair and dressed in white armor and clothing (Leila). This woman looked like something straight out of an RPG. Funny thing is: Leila was our tech savvy. She was the one who hacked electronic locks and circuitry. She was the very serious one. I can’t remember seeing her crack a smile at any point during the dream. And then there was me; the rookie of the group.

Our services were drafted by a middle aged woman whose name remained undisclosed. She came to us with a request to retrieve a young boy and bring him back to her. She offered up a reward of course. Now this is where my confusion becomes valid. I am not sure if we were private investigators or some kind of mercenaries or underground couriers. Now as one reads through this he might assume that the woman coming to us is a mother in distress over her lost son but that is not quite how I remember this being portrayed. There was a woman, yes, and she did draft us to go in search of a young boy but I do not believe that this was a mother. I remember that she was quite stern in this request. That is to say, she seemed indifferent to the boy’s well being. I don’t think that she was concerned about the boy but rather the investment behind him. I believe that she may have been part of a bigger organization; one that seemed to be invested in this boy for one reason or other (there is even a chance that she was our employer...maybe, not very sure on that one). But her reasons did not matter to us for our job was not to ask questions. I am sure that “No questions asked” existed somewhere within our mantra.

Now there is no question in my mind that we were underground couriers but little did we know that we were getting mixed up in something serious. I don’t remember why but there was an investment in this boy. One that was so vital that two opposing groups would do anything to get their hands on him.

So now back to the story at hand. It was the hour of dusk and we were walking through the dark streets of Gale. Gale always was an anachronistic city which seemed to be fitting to the anachronistic wardrobe of my colleagues. The mist that was gathering around the streets of the 17th century style town only made the scene that much more ominous. We started out by asking around but I remember that most responses were hostile (maybe they knew who or what we were). But I suspect that the streets had been over taken by the enemies of our client because there was a part of town that was full of nothing but hostiles. I wish I could remember how the struggle went but there are only few precious details that I can remember. As we fought our way through town square we met a man in one of the stores who was obviously taking cover from the bullets (assuming the hostiles were using firearms). This man was a friend of The Midnight Crew. I call him Paul, a jovial soul who was dressed in a black 17th century suit (that’s how most Gale-ites dressed) and a dark blue cape. And fortunately for us he had the boy we were looking for. Now I don’t quit remember how our conversation with Paul went but I remember that he was somehow mixed up with these organizations and he somehow got us to agree with some plan of his. We allowed him to take the boy for a while after he promised to meet us later on and hand the boy over to us. The boy was eerily stoic; he never even spoke and maintained a calm demeanor in this epic frenzy.

We tried to fight our way through the rest of the hostiles but they proved to be too much for us. My heart pounded as we detoured through the stores of the city. Thankfully all of the buildings were interconnected so we were able to continue in our mission while avoiding the hostiles. I remember how relieved I was to be away from them.

Now the events following are extremely hazy and I cannot recant them here. I just remember that my misadventure with The Midnight Crew eventually led to my separation from them and I ran into this strange gothic girl. I believe this girl to have been Ruby Gloom. I remember that there was something about this girl that rubbed me the wrong way. She was seemingly pleasant but I found it difficult to trust this one. Now Ruby had a story, one whose complete makeup was lost in memory. She was an exile from another land or another world. She was here for reasons unknown and was in the middle of a rivalry with an ocean dweller that was now on land. Squid-Girl was this rival’s designation. I think that Ruby believed Squid-Girl to be partly responsible for her exile.

After more hazy stuff happened (including several strifes between Squid-Girl and Ruby) I ended up in a college. I was there under Ruby’s direction and was now working completely independently of The Midnight Crew. I guess there was a something bigger going on, something that tied in with this college, that mysterious boy, Ruby and her rival, Squid-Girl. I didn’t know how this all tied together but I knew that more answers could be found at this college and Ruby was going to help find them…or so she said. Ruby and I warmed up to each other as time went on. She seemed to consider me a real friend and I can’t say that I was far from returning the sentiment. Not to say that she didn’t have her annoying flaws. She was very cocky and arrogant and she thought very highly of herself. I hated that about her. And not to mention she loved the sound of her own voice. I was still somewhat weary of trusting her. There was still so much about that I didn’t know; most importantly, her motive. She didn’t strike me as the type of person who gave out of the goodness of her heart, so why did she agree to help me? What was in it for her? I made a point of keeping these questions in the back of my mind.

The college had its own private beach. Not a real beach but a man made beach. One with artificial ocean waves and whatnot; similar to what they had in the City of Columbia. Now this beach was a place where the students used drugs recreationally (and yes, the college was okay with this). Ruby was also posing as a student here at this college. She was somewhere else and communicated with me through some chat client. I was extremely uncomfortable here on this beach. I didn’t like being around so many tripped out junkies in one place; something about that scenario spelled disaster to me. And I was not entirely sure if the other students liked me but looking back: it may have been in my head. The recreational drug usage was interrupted by a massive storm which brought forth a huge tsunami. We all escaped the beach alive but I was not sure if this tsunami was an accident. What a thought! That someone somewhere actually had the power to cause such a great feat of nature. Perhaps I was becoming paranoid. Or perhaps not. Didn’t my partner say something about Squid-Girl having elemental powers over the sea? This whole investigation just keeps getting more and more interesting.

At this point I wander off into a tangent of unrelated events. I find myself on a bus with my highschool marching band and we are on our way to a performance. We are on our way to a five star hotel and I cannot wait to finally get there because I really have to take a piss. And that’s pretty much it. I don’t know what the point of this is. Could this have been a dream within the dream? Because I have had those. Seriously I have. Whatever, back the dream at hand.


After that random ass tangent of events I was back at the beach. It was not long before another storm hit and another tsunami took place. But this was only the beginning of a series of extremely unfortunate events. After the beach was evacuated the organization that had the boy came and began fighting it out with another group. Could my presence have brought them here? There was also something big emerging from the sea and it threatened to destroy this school. Hell was indeed being raised and my class mates and I needed to find someplace safe before we were all killed. As I was running with the crowed I saw a huge projection of ruby over the rail of the walkway. I don’t know if it was a holographic projection which she set up herself or if it was just a projection of the dream which only I could see. But what I do know is that I hated what I saw. She was there just laughing her ass of at the mayhem that was ensuing. I knew that she couldn’t be trusted. I don’t know how but she planned this and I was pawn in this sick little game of hers. A friend indeed.

We successfully evacuated to the safety of the school theatre. It was the last safe place left here in the school. All the while we were there I could only think back on that image of my partner laughing at me and everyone here. There was no longer any question that I was nothing more than a means to an end but what end? Damn it! What was all of this about? What was I mixed up? What was this leading to? After a few minutes of thought one of the IT students brought up a radar map of the school and the beach and showed everyone how the tsunami started. I was right. It was not accident. According to the IT and his radar map the tsunami was caused by a giant creature approaching the school from the water. It was let in from the back end. This was no doubt the work of Squid-Girl.

After several more events that I can not recall, I was reunited with The Midnight Crew. We were back in the City of Gale making our way through the maze of commercial facilities. Several of them were dark due to some kind of orchestrated black out and I could not help but get anxious whenever we entered a dark facility. I mean after all, the city was full of hostiles. But the darkness was short lived because each time we entered a dark room, Leila would rewire the circuits in the rooms and bring the lights on. We made our way into a dark kitchen and, after a few minutes of rewiring by Leila, it was well lit. But the relief was short lived as we were immediately attacked by hostiles. I remember seeing Paul there and the boy was with him. Was all of this really centered around him? I still could not believe that this all could have been orchestrated by one girl. I never did figure out what motive was. One thing that I could never get over. If she really was just using me, then why did she open up to me the way she did.

The dream changed possibly before the brawl ended. I was no longer a participant; I was now the observer. I suspect that I had gone back through time (possibly by several years) to observe one of the seemingly unrelated events that may have led up to that frenzy. Poseidon, king of the sea, was working at a seaside store. Squid-Girl emerged from the ocean surface with her boyfriend and attacked him relentlessly. She destroyed the restaurant killing everyone inside and came down on Poseidon with huge tsunami waves. She also knew how to handle a trident. I was really impressed; Poseidon really didn’t stand a chance. I felt kind of bad for him; I felt that this was a blatant act of treachery on her part. The last thing I saw was Squid-Girl, holding down the king of the sea as he lay on his back with her hand pressed firmly against his forehead. She was in his face with a stone cold look in her eye no doubt saying something menacing to him. I didn’t see what happened to Poseidon but judging by Squid-Girl’s demeanor; I doubt that she was merciful.

Note: At some point during the second evacuation (or it may have been during the final strife in the kitchen) I got the inkling that there was an unknown third party involved in all of this. Ruby and Squid-Girl were the two primary antagonists who were pulling the strings in this entire debacle. But I could not get past the feeling that there was an unknown third party who was sitting back idly and watching Ruby and Squid-Girl. I felt like someone was observing their rivalry closely and waiting for the right time to make his move. Perhaps he was waiting for one of them to engage him or perhaps he was waiting for them to do something. Perhaps he was hatching a plan that would arise from their plans.

NOTES:

Had an interesting dream this afternoon after drinking a cup of coffee (instant cappuccino). I went to sleep meditating — focusing on breathing, but I let the playlist continue. I did not expect it will loop, so when I woke up hearing it, I just flowed into meditating again.
I set the alarm for 1 hour and 50 minutes. 90 minutes (1.5 hours) for the REM cycle, 14 minutes for the time it takes to fall asleep, and 6 minutes to set up the meditation sound, adjust bed, whatever.

DREAM:

I dreamed I was in a mental asylum for gifted children. I saw an adult patient trying to choke another with a pillow. It was dark or shadowy. Not night, but it's like the blinds are down. "I" ran, I think trying to escape.

I ended up in something like World of Warcraft location, facing a crossroad where skeletal beings and wraiths go back and forth on the road that goes towards and away from me, while on the road crossing it are cars speeding from right to left, seemingly unaware of the creatures. There's a hut a little to my right with some people in it. Once in a while, one creature would walk almost right to the hut, but only stay outside the window.

I climbed on the roof and watched while a couple of creatures attacked, telling one person/kid on the ground to go around the hut, not realizing until then that there were two creatures attacking.

We climbed up the building nearby with exterior ladders and ended up in a large dorm room for the gifted. "I" (because it's more like I was looking through the kid's eyes) tried talking to them that night when they're asleep because I was too shy.

We "escaped". It seems like it was an experiment, and the guy who tried to kill another was an actor. I met him outside the "walls" but I still felt the shock. I moved on eventually, with me and a friend taking a huge 10-wheeler-like truck, but with 4 huge tires (reaches up to the roof of the truck) instead of 10 small tires. We crossed a bridge.

I'm going to try doing a DJ here, although I'm not so sure I'll be posting much. I haven't really had any majorly interesting dreams (not recently anyway), but I did have one strange dream last night that I suppose could be categorised as a nightmare. I can't remember it too well, though and it's quite short (may have been a fragment).

I was in my house I believe, and it was very dark. I knew I wasn't alone because I had this feeling. The feeling I always have in nightmares; the feeling something bad will happen. There were dark monsters or something there (they looked kind of human, but also...not) and I just knew they were going to attack me or kill me. I was scared at first, but then I realised it doesn't matter because they can't really hurt me (I must've realised it was a dream). I then just stood there, arms spread out, and waited for them to come at me but something happened. It was like they jumped into me and I got this... dark feeling inside of me. It was scary. That's all I remember. I woke up before anything else happened.

Dreams are so strange and freaky sometimes..

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am at some beach club or something of the kind. Lots of young boys and girls, having fun, playing games. Girls are lured into a strange competition which involves following leads and collecting objects to achieve some final goal which will be revealed once the puzzle is complete.
At first I just watch, but I find it both fishy (it seems just a pretense to lure the girls into increasingly dark and remote places, maybe so they can disappear) and challenging (I absolutely want to play it and I am certain I can win it). So I sign up, with mixed feelings: will do my best to win, but will also keep my eyes open as I go along.
First challenge involves going down some kind of well, with a sort of diver's suit to get some clue from the bottom of it. There's a mix of physical challenges like that, but then we also have to solve the puzzles and enigmas that come with the clues, so we can find which is the next challenge. I follow a number of these and they often involve going down or crawling inside dirty, dark places. But I start passing in front of the other girls who were ahead of me. And I start getting a better picture of it all. It's hard to explain, but with each task we're getting closer and closer to become pawns of a sick game, to reduce us to unaware servants of some entity we haven't even met. I was right about my initial feeling. So, once I'm winning the game, I start subverting it, blocking all other players to follow me and move forward. This displeases the powers that be, behind the whole thing. The last object I collected are some kind of bean shaped marbles, in a black iridescent colour, that seem to be alive. I accidentaly let some of them fall to the ground and they immediately divide and multiply. I don't know what I am supposed to do with it. But I then find myself into some kind of giant maze with high walls that keep getting bigger. I feel an uncomfortable sense of being trapped.At the top of one of these walls, a figure appears and it is devilish. It spreads out in a kind of red, living, palpitating matter, which covers the wall and the floor and comes in my direction. I don't know what to do, but I throw the marbles in front of me and they start multiplying and spreading in the opposite direction, engulfing this devilish form which wanted to devour me, but also threatening to engulf me to. I run to the end of the maze, trying to escape this darkness that is devouring everything. I encounter a room, with only a box in it. It's not a big box, it's just enough to put my two feet together inside it. There's no other place where I can hide or a door or window, through where to escape. But I hear like a voice telling me to go into the box. It's impossible, I think. But the voice is there saying I need to go, it's the only place I can hide. And I believe that I should try. I put my two feet in it, the box is already full, but then I squat and I fit perfectly in it. No more space left, but then I also push my shoulders and head inside it and incredibly, the box is still small, the size it had in the beggining and I am still my normal size, but I'm inside it, perfectly covered and protected. I remember Milarepa, who sat inside a conch. It is it.