Recent DJ Posts

Two nights ago I had a semi-lucid, I was in my mom's old house, my view traveled from her room down the hallway to my room. The room was a slightly dark and blurry so I brought my right hand in front of me and said "Clarity Now" while snapping my fingers, bringing the room into clarity and making it bright. I was seated on the floor and started to become aware that I was dreaming. I took my right hand and slowly pushed it through my left hand and it went straight through, unfortunately this did not send me into a full lucid dream.

Last night I dreamt I was in a location that was located in Richmond but it was also shifting to different layouts too, it was closer to my apartment building. I was walking down the street which looked like the aisle of a Target or Walmart but the roof was open and the lighting was similar to being on the street at night. There were different sections where people were stopping off at, I stop at this sort of run down shop that in my mind is a bar. There are tables with people sitting at them, I see one guy with glasses and a plaid blue shirt on and I'm thinking this is someone from my work but he didn't see me so we didn't acknowledge each other, he's there with what I think is a tinder date. I'm sitting on a couch and I remember playing some sort of racing game on a TV, there was a bar to my left and a pool table in front of me. At the pool table is a group of girls, it was strange because they pulled their pants/underwear down to their ankles and were dancing to music playing, they had sort of teleported to the couch I was on and then were back at the pool table.

I left the bar and wandered down a dark street, to the left of me was the Hof which is a rooftop bar, there was a crowd below and I heard PUP playing, to me it was around 1:45AM in the morning and they had just ended their set which was disappointing but I thought I had caught one of their songs. Eventually I'm with Liz and Aly and a few other people in the group, I tell them about the bar I was at and bring them to it. We were there for a little bit but that eventually ended.

Next I was outside of Target near my hometown, a lot of people from my high school were in there. I was running into some of them in the parking lot including a friend Grace and when I called out to the person next to her it was not the person I thought, another person was in the car. I greeted other people I knew inside the Target, in my mind I had been looking for Liz but couldn't find her. I was eventually back on the sidewalk and it was people from my highschool walking past me going to their respective classes. I had long hair and I could see out of the right corner of my eye a family friend with a long hair too, I made a comment about how "the flow was back in style" or something, another older family friend walked by but he seemed indifferent when I said that to him too, I muttered something like "well that was a stupid comment" and walked back towards the Target. Inside was a class going on and I was sitting on the outside because there wasn't enough room inside, at some point the teachers comes out to me and asks me a question.

I'm inside the Target which looks like an open lab, at some point I'm on the ground in a SP situation where I can't move a muscle but I can hear this electronic song in my head and thought Grant had made it. The dream is now outside at this town on the beach, I'm thinking something about family guy and being with those characters in rivers/sewers going through the town.

First dream I'm at richmond race track. Weird because I had a dream I was on the outside of it looking from a distance in my previous entry. I was watching from the middle of the track, floating and seeing cars race and crash into each other. I was also in the stands at some point. I might've also been in one of the viewing boxes too.

Another dream I was in the parking lot of either a Walmart or Target with my friend Moo. We were talking about making the perfect song. I was flipping through songs on my phone looking for inspiration. I was also flipping through Ableton in different programs looking for the right sounds. I was hearing dubstep sounds as well as really high sounds. I was able to whip out a keyboard in front of me. I was playing very high notes and it sounded something like a Louis the Child song.

I see Moo start to walk into the store so I follow him in. There are a bunch of people walking in and out pushing shopping carts. I see someone with a jug of mountain dew which makes me want to go look for one. We're walking in the store in different aisles. Eventually we end up on the second floor and I tell my buddy sam h. to look for this expansion of a game. We're looking and can't find it, but he keeps showing me these super hero games and is trying to get me to buy them, but I wont, specifically the hulk.

We end up back upstairs and I think my mom is now with us. There are different sections blocked off so we can only go in certain patterns around the second floor. Suddenly, giant purple birds appear in the air above us, creating some sort of line with their wings standing side by side. They slowly start to swoop down which causes us to jump down off the ledge onto the first floor.

I had signed up to do archery lessons somewhere. In order to pay for the lesson I had to help the person who owned the archery range judge the value of another peice of property they owned. It had to be worth at least $40k.

On it was this huge building. In it was this hemispherical room. The walls were covered with bookshelves curving up to the ceiling. (How the books didn't slide off of the upper shelves is beyond me.) There was also this huge bronze/golden contraption that showed the alignments of the planets in some alien solar system.

There were escalators in the building. I think one of them got broken, however.

Dream - Lucid

I was in the guest bathroom. The light was on. The counter was covered in colognes and stuff, but I also noticed that Dallas had put his brush in there for me to use. He must not have seen the new brush I bought for myself. I also guess he didn't want me to wake him up using our bathroom.

~

I was at Target, though I'm not sure if I was working there or not. I may have just been shopping. It looked as if they were completely remodeling the front of the store; I saw a lot of white walls and boxes. It didn't look like the Target I was used to at all; it really caught me off guard.

Cherie' was there at some point. Someone called her name, and she had been kinda close to me. She stopped and looked in the direction of the voice who called her. I only saw the back of her head, not her face. Her hair looked darker and wavier, but I knew it was her.

~

I was getting ready to go to school at the high school I attended. I was running behind schedule, however, and I was going to be late. I was at the house I grew up in looking in the pantry for something to eat for breakfast really quick. I found some Fig Newton cookies, two packages of them in fact, but they were being saved by someone else in the house, one of my friends who was also there though I can't recall who they were right now. Other than that, there wasn't anything I could eat for breakfast really quick.

I kept getting upset at my mom and whoever else was there, saying that I needed to find a place to write this paper that was due in my second class of the day, so I needed to get to school ASAP. I was telling them they didn't understand, and was starting to be a smartass. My mom was getting mad at me for getting so upset and being smart with her. I kept looking at the clock and seeing how late it was; I would never get to school on time.

When I finally got to school, the first class had already started. I saw people walking in the hallway from their lockers heading to their first class. It was weird though; not everyone was attending school that day, only the people who had a later start day for classes. The rest of the people had the day off, the ones who had started school at an earlier date that year.

I then had a thought about skipping class, that once people missed one class they could say "Fuck it" and just not go and not care. I didn't want to do that.

I kept stressing myself about the paper. I knew I needed to get to a computer quickly to write it up before the next class began.

Dream - Lucid

I was working at Target (never worked there IWL). It was a HUGE Target. I was walking around the store when a young lady stopped me and asked me if we had this one belt in her size, which was a weird size, a 70/30. She pointed to a big but short rectangular black belt that had holes down the middle. It was hanging up with a bunch of other belts that were all mixed up. It was the only belt of its kind that I could see. It looked like it wouldn't even fit around most people's waists because it was so short. Maybe it stretched. Anyway, I told her I didn't think we did, but I'd go check. I went to the front of the store and entered an office where a manager, a female, was standing up at a computer and working. I asked her if they had any more of that particular belt in a 70/30. She looked up the inventory on the computer and came up with nothing. Just as I thought, that was the only belt of that kind we had. I went back to find the lady; the store was so big and had so many shelves and aisles, it was like a maze. I found her looking at some dresses that were hung up on shelving instead of on fixtures. I told her we didn't have her size, a 70/30. She then said her size was a 30/70. I guess I had mixed it up, but regardless, we had no more belts like that. She then took a long, flowy, almost prom-like light blue dress from where it was hung up on the shelf. She was going to ask me if we had it in her size, but she then said
"Oh, it's dirty!" I looked at it to see if it was, and did see a dirty spot. She proceeded to throw the dress on the floor.
She asked if we had any more and I said no, we didn't. I looked at the other dresses that were hung up, and there weren't very many, but they were mixed up like the belts were. She started to complain about the store, all while smiling.

Then, there was something about a video game, an online one that had to do with the store, though the content of the game had nothing to do with Target. It was more like an open-world RPG. I was playing and noticed parts of it were closed. I think there was some kind of maintenance or update that was going on. I was then at the store in an office with many other employees where the managers were having a meeting with us about it. I don't remember the meeting or what was said, but after that, I kept coming into work and clocking in when I wasn't scheduled. I'd stay for a few hours, walk around, play the game, or help the bakery (waking life work coming in here), and then clock out. No one had said anything to me about it, and I thought it was ok because I thought others were doing it as well.

Then, I was clocked in not at my scheduled time. I was in the bakery. It was nighttime. I was thinking that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I then started to think about if I had worked too many hours and I as going to hit overtime. I was also trying to justify myself coming in not on my scheduled time, thinking that at least this time I was helping out and not wandering around the store for no reason. A manager then came up, the assistant store manager. He was telling Taylor and whoever else was scheduled to work something about staying late or leaving early or helping someone else out. I can't recall. But he didn't address me. I figured it was because I wasn't really scheduled to be there.

It was then 9:30 pm and the lights in the bakery all went out. We were closed for the night, even though it was a bit early for that. I guess they wanted to bakery to close early for some reason.

~

I was in the bakery again. It was nighttime again also. It felt a little like my last dream, but I can't recall if the scheduling thing carried over or not. I was about to leave when my grandma walked into the back. Her hair was up in a bunch of tiny buns, and it was blonder and thicker than it is IWL. Wow, she was working at 91 years old! Impressive! I think I "remembered" something about her having worked there for years and years. She wasn't working as a baker or anything though. She was actually working in the meat department. She got out her equipment, a knife and so forth, and started to cut some raw meat off the bone. Her hands were shaking as she did it because of her age, but she kept up. I wondered how the other employees felt about her being there for so many years. Everyone must know who she is, the 91-year-old woman still working in the meat department. I was now standing a few feet away from her. She was stooped over the sink area working. I then noticed she cut her hand a little; I saw her bleeding, but she'd just wipe it off and keep going. I asked her if she cut herself, and she said yes, but didn't stop what she was doing. Maybe she was used to it; maybe it happened all the time.

Then, I was in the bakery again on a different day. I asked someone I was working with, who was working on something on a back counter, if they knew Helen. They said yes. I told them she was my grandma. I don't remember what they said. I asked someone else this as well, and told them that she was my grandma.

~

I was with Dallas at our apartment. I was planting a bunch of vegetable seeds...in my nose. Yes, in my nose. I think Dallas planted some things in his nose as well. I had also planted some in a roll of paper towels in the bathroom, and had planted some in some cardboard or in some other substance in the living room. It was some sort of experiment we were doing on how different conditions affected the growth of the plants. I planted carrots in the left nostril and lots of tomatoes in the right nostril. I also was planting some tomatoes and possibly other veggies in the cardboard/whatever it was in the living room, and watching as sprouts would come up almost immediately after I would plant them. It was really cool to see! I saw a timer at one point that started at zero and as the plant was sprouting, it would gradually increase. I knew I needed to water them and take care of them. I knew the ones in the bathroom would be ok because of the moisture and humidity from the shower when we showered. I was thinking about watering the ones planted in the living room. I was also thinking about how in the world the ones in my nose were going to survive at all.

My nose felt runny and full from the growing vegetables. I even looked in the mirror at one point and saw some weird vegetable growing out of my nose. It looked nothing like any vegetable I know of IWL. It was long and skinny at the top, getting fatter at the bottom. The top was white, and the bottom was brown.

I then had an idea of another place to plant the vegetables, which made a lot more sense than any of the other places I had planted them. I had some white, square dinner plates on the living room floor lined up in an upside down "L" shape. I couldn't plant the seeds directly on the plates, obviously. I needed some soil. Dallas was going out somewhere, so I asked him to get some soil while he was out. I looked at him, and noticed that he was wearing a red and white vertical striped button up with a red emblem on my right (his left) upper side, on his chest, but it was unbuttoned. He had a shirt on underneath it. IWL, he would not wear anything like this; it isn't his style at all, so I was surprised to see him dressed like that. He looked skinnier than he does IWL and younger too. He had no facial hair and a few freckles on his face. In fact, in a way, his clothing reminded me of something Ryan, a guy I dated over 3 years ago, would wear. His looks kind of did too, but not a whole lot.
"You look good!" I said to him.
He really did. He looked very polished and cleaned up.

I was bent over the living room garden when something fell out of my nose. I was surprised at first, and I took a look at it. It was a large, weird looking carrot! It was orange and very fat on the top, getting skinnier towards the bottom, as carrots do, but it looked more "fake", cartoonish or something; it was very smooth. It had some leaves on the top, but not many. It was also slimy from being in my nose. I held it in my hand and examined it. I then exclaimed to Dallas
"THIS came out of my nose! THIS!!"
I was so shocked that something so big could come out of my nose!

I then had another carrot, one from the living room garden. It looked quite similar to the nose carrot, but looked more "real"; it was more rough to the touch than the nose carrot, and also wasn't slimy from the mucus. It looked healthier to me. I was thinking about why that was. I thought about sunlight and water. I think I went to wash the nose carrot off to see if that made a difference, but it still felt smooth to touch. It still didn't seem as healthy as the living room carrot.

~

That last dream was quite vivid, especially when I was looking at my husband while he was dressed in the red and white shirt. Really, all the dreams were pretty vivid last night, I'm guessing because I was so tired and didn't sleep much the night before. All in all, a great night of interesting NLDs.

Dream - Lucid


I was in a school, a college. I was trying to pick out a class to get me to 18 credit hours to complete my major. I was filling out a paper, but it was like the paper was also a computer. I needed to choose one of these medical classes that I really was interested in taking, and the course numbers were 96, 98, and 99. I saw one, and then it disappeared. I could not find them anymore on the paper; they had already filled up. The only course numbers I was seeing were numbers in the 60's and I remember seeing 89. Those were not courses I wanted to take, however. I was frustrated. I wouldn't be able to take them until they were offered again the next fall.

I was trying to fill in the credit hours so I could stay a full-time student, so I signed up for a music class with my husband. I sat down in this single arch of chairs in front of the conductor's podium. It wasn't in a classroom; it seemed to be open to the whole building. In fact, the whole building seemed to be set up this way. At any rate, I noticed the band was all reed instruments, which was fine, because I play the bass clarinet. I remember seeing people with saxophones and bassoons. It was also a very small band. I sat down somewhere towards the right on the arch. The band instructor stepped up to the podium. She was a shorter black woman with lighter skin with reddish hair. It was actually difficult to tell if she was black or white. She seemed like a hardass; she never cracked a smile as she addressed the class. I was nervous too; this seemed like a class full of musical experts, and I had not played my bass clarinet in years. She wanted us to get right down to playing, and singled me out, since I seemed to be the only bass clarinet, telling me to play. I told her I could not play that day because I didn't have a reed, but I would get one for the next time. She said
"Get out of my classroom."
I guess she really didn't like that I wasn't prepared for class. I got up and left, angry and a little embarrassed. I wasn't going to come back either.

I talked to my husband later in the dream about the class, about the instructor. I remember also seeing the small reed band practicing as the instructor instructed them.

~

I was working at Target, setting up some summer set in one of the departments. I was a new employee there. I think it was the accessories department. I was unloading boxes and putting things on the shelves. I felt like there wasn't much rhyme or reason to it, but they had not given me any. I kind of had the freedom to put them where I saw fit. I can't recall exactly what items I was putting out.

I then had to go take some empty totes to the back, and had to ask someone where the back was and what to do with the empty plastic totes. I had the empty totes on a cart, and rolled the cart behind me as I followed the person to the back room. It was a large back room; I remember seeing a dumpster, and someone throwing boxes into it. I don't remember what this person told me to do with the totes, but she was pointing out where things were back there.

I was then back out on the floor in the accessories department. I had to go find something for the display that I didn't have on me. I went walking around, searching for these items. I encountered a room that had flowers floating in tubs of ice water. They were pretty white flowers, and looked healthy. I knew they were in the ice water because it was so hot and the water needed to stay cold for the flowers.

The dream then shifted as I was searching, an absolutely seamless dream shift. I was walking around, looking for something, a job that I enjoyed. I was transitioning into these random areas, one I remember being a movie theater. I remember then seeing a girl sitting on what appeared to be my parents' bed in the house I grew up in. She was blonde, but her head was shaved. She looked quite androgynous, almost like a girl I knew at my old job IWL, though the girl at my old job had red shaved hair. I got this jealous feeling about her.

I then encountered Jake. We were then looking around together for something we enjoyed doing. We then walked onto a beach. It was a sunny day. We went out into the ocean, which was so calm that there were no waves at all, and noticed these men swimming in this formation around some kind of float in a deeper part. Their formation was perfect; think synchronized swimming. Looking closer at the men, I noticed that they were all super buff and muscular. We asked what they were doing, and they said they were some kind of coast guard or beach guard, though those weren't the words they used; I can't remember exactly what they said. But Jake joined in with them; he really wanted to be a part of it. They seemed like they were glad to have him, even though he was not buff and muscular; they were very accepting and happy. I noticed the androgynous girl was with him too. I knew they were good friends, maybe even lovers. That is why I got the jealous feeling about her when I saw her.

I did not want to participate, and started to swim back to shore. I watched them swimming with the men, and noticed that they were not perfectly in sync with them, but it would, of course, take practice to get as good as they were.

I then started to walk somewhere else. I was on a paved walkway that was shaded by trees. Looking back on it now, it was kind of like in the area that the Renaissance Fair is in every year here. There were many people about.

I then noticed a very fluffy cat; her fur was a creamy, very light tan color, almost with a pinkish hue to it. She looked scraggly and dirty. I noticed she had clumps in her fur too. Poor baby! She was a stray! A couple of people said something about her, and I said
"Well if she isn't anyone's, I'm going to take her in!"
I didn't think twice about it; the kitty needed a home, and I was going to take her. I named her immediately, calling her Annabel Lee after the poem by Edgar Allen Poe. I pet her scraggly fur after that at some point.

I remember her being in a warehouse-type area with me after that.

(This was from 4/29/14)

I had a lucid dream. Surprise. My twelfth one. But it was cut short > : ( I remember thinking I might be in a dream. Where I was at this time, I cannot remember too well. Someplace a bit dark maybe? I think someone was with me? My dad? Can't be sure. I think the dream was actually in third person before I became lucid, because I remember seeing myself and changing the perspective to first person. I remembered to do a reality check. When I did it, of course, it worked. I then constantly reminded myself I was dreaming and rubbed my hands together a lot. I remember my hands feeling so...real rubbing against each other. I think I might have bumped into someone and I could feel how real the clothing they were wearing felt. It was all very vivid, perhaps more than usual. This might be because of the binaural beats I listened to before bed, which was supposed to induce more realistic dreams. Anyways, I was in a store. This time, it looked more like a Target. It was all nice, clean and bright. I refused to let myself get distracted and ignored the dream characters in the store as much as I could. I walked around the store a lot, through different isles, passing different people. Some said hello or something like this to me. I would respond, but keep walking. I remember toy isles, electronics isles, hair product isles, It's amazing how close it was to Target. While I walked, I continued to rub my hands together and tell myself I was dreaming, trying to stabilise the dream the best I could and keep it together, and thought about what I should do. I remember shouting "100% clarity" and everything in the isle I was in became even sharper then it already was. I could especially see a difference in the tile bellow me. I actually said "Woah." outloud lol. I thought about my dream goals. I remember thinking it was kind of more difficult to remember once I was in a dream, but I forced myself to remember. I decided I would try to look for my dream guide again. I then thought about how I would do it. I think about just going up to a door, but then I remember what I did in my first lucid. I walked up to a DC and asked them to take me to him. I decide I will do this again. That is when I start losing the dream. I remember thinking "No. Not again." I remember being at a brown front desk area with bad lighting, running into someone, and the dream ended. My alarm interrupted my lucid and woke me up T^T

Damn

I must have forgot how this scenario started. I only remember becoming lucid and then remembering.

At the Target store, I was first lucid when I was walking around the mall at the furniture section. The store was set out so differently. Around this area, I found someone interesting me. She was a girl and she was all alone just looking at the items on the viewing tables. I wanted to try and kill her but there was something that just didn't feel right. I don't know what it was, so I left that area. I also remember rubbing my fingers on to one of the viewing displays to try and get a good feel from the lucid experience.

I walked back up front to the store where I found someone I just had to murder. She was someone whom I never met before. There were a lot of people around watching, but I didn't hesitate to strangle her with my bare hands.

I walked up to the woman, grabbed her and started beating her to death with my right hand. She showed no resistance against me but after a few hits, I stopped and remembered that I was still lucid and I could do some other good things. I let this woman go and slowly walked out to the front of the store. Walking out of the store was a little bit hard for me only because I usually lose lucidity when I walk in to new areas. It didn't happen this time though.

I walked outside under a big roof next to the store. There was really no where for me to go so I walked to a group of people sitting in a table in the area and started talking to them. We seemed to have a nice, friendly conversation, until a teenage girl walking towards me sat with the group.

Spoiler for Contains Sexual Activity:

This teenage girl, I looked at her and started feeling her. She loved my kindness, so she decided to unbuckle my pants' zipper and teased me by slowly massaging the lower part of my penis while slowly working her way up. It was pretty good and despite her not so well looks, it was still a nice tease. I also remember going in to the bathroom with someone and having sex but I don't remember it well.

It began walking down the streets towards a Target store at night. I was walking down the street and felt the need to check my hands on the way there. The environment didn't feel so real at the time. I felt that performing a reality check would be a good idea. I looked down at my palms and only notice my hands. I never counted them, I think. If I do a reality check in reality I usually just read the word "Dream" on my left wrist. But something good did come out of this in the end...

I don't remember doing much inside the Target's store. I walked out of it after a bit and saw my father outside. I ignored him and walked over to the right side of the store. I saw a long way down to the far back of the store. There was probably nothing there. I walked over to that area and checked. On my way there I saw a recent friend I used to know in waking life standing in front of a store. Her name was Varaporn. She didn't look much like the one I saw when I was attending piano class with her but it still turned out good later.

When I finally reached the back of the store, I decided to go back to the front. As I was walking back, I saw Varaporn. I noticed she was staring at me, so I stared back and gave her one of my flirting stares. I looked away but before I continue on, she yells my name. I walked up to her to see what she wanted. Despite her not looking exactly the same as she does in real life, she was still good looking in the dream.

When I walked up to her, she escorted me to the store with a few other guys I used to go school with. One of their names was Robert but I couldn't remember the other one. The store we walked in to was a thrift shop. When were in there, Varaporn changed her face structure. I had no idea! She offered me "special services." At first, I was afraid to catch an infection from the woman. I made up an excuse and told her that my father was waiting for me. She didn't want me to leave but I also didn't wanted any diseases.

The area below is not suitable for children. Viewer discretion is advised.

At this time, I thought more about reality. I really wanted to have sex. Somehow I knew it was a dream but wasn't sure if I could still catch a disease. I did her anyways. I didn't want the dream to end already, so I walked up in front of her, made out a little, took down my pants, placed her on a sofa in front of me, took off her pants, stuck my penis in there(it felt like breaking), tried to thrust her but couldn't, made out with her some more and tired to thrust her while doing it, then I woke up.

Start out in the middle of target, (think I've had a dream about buying videogames at target before) and my dad and I just fill our cart with random obscure and formless items. Then I go over to the shoes section and put some American Eagle socks in the cart.

Just some random room, I start walking around, go outside, and see some familiar faces. I start talking, but I don't remember the conversations.

I remember a dream about being at a golf club in Arlington Heights. There was a beach somewhere on the right, didn't really fit in with the scene. I had my caddy gear on, and a golfer asked me to help him with something in about 30 minutes. I went and sat down on a log with a few other people. I leave after a while. I go to some really creepy underground place, but I'm not scared. I walk down an alley, and I see someone sitting on the floor bleeding. I buy a really good electric guitar and acoustic guitar for only 50 bucks each. I make a mental note of how good a deal it is. I get both of them at target, put them both in some little shopping cart (not sure how that works) and I notice my mom was standing next to me the whole time. Later on, I talk to two guitarists, and play some random guitar in a shop. I think it was a guitar center. There was more, but it's so confusing and mish-moshed.

I was flying on a sort of hover craft (accept for it had a propeller) and I was wearing a blue coat with a green scarf and some cut-offs. Apparently, mark zuckerberg had made this hover craft especially for me.
So I was flying, and then the propeller all of a sudden just fell right off and I began to fall. There was a big lake below me and I aimed for that.
When I hit the water, I lost my coat and all I had then was the shorts and the scarf.
I swam into shore and went into the nearest target.
Accept there was one issue: I had not been wearing a bra, so the scarf was all I had to cover up my top. I put that over my shoulders and had a part of the scarf covering each side of me.
Then I took a deep breath and went in the target and hoped no one I knew would be in there.
I went over to the clothes section and lots of people were staring at me. I reached into my pocket to see how much money I could spend when I realized that my wallet must have also fell into the water.
I now had no clothes options, so I went and locked myself in the bathroom for a few hours. While I was in the bathroom, I decided that this situation was a tad odd and did a dream check; but then I concluded that all was normal and well (!) and exited the bathroom.
I thought to myself that I had to think rationally here: just go to customer service, and they'll understand and help me out!
But when I got to customer service and told them my story, they laughed, called me a hooker, and kicked me out of the target and said that whores are not welcome at that establishment.
This made me pissed off and I stole target's giant water heater and walked home with it.

And then I woke up.