All DJ Entries

Ritual: WTB 2:30am, woke up to work from 5:30 to 6:30am, realized I'd drunk too much coffee before bedtime and have trouble going back to sleep. I figure as long as I'm insomniac, might as well try for LD and take some L-theanine and alpha-GPC. I try counting but have trouble focusing, realize I need more motivation so resolve on a task. I had been thinking earlier about the use of mantras for getting lucid, and I've had trouble deciding on one so I thought I should ask a DC.

WILD, "Balloon and Mantra": Since it seemed to initiate directly from the waking state, I guess this was a WILD though there was no distinct experience of transition, at least in the way I usually experience it (shifting into dream while continuing to perceive that I am lying in bed). At the beginning it felt more like hypnagogic imagery that I was playing around with, but gradually acquired more solidity and focus. (Or maybe that's the "normal" way people do it, haha.)

I'm on top of a building, playing catch with two other girls. We're throwing a ball around between us counter-clockwise. The girl to my left spikes the ball to make it hard for me to catch, so I retaliate by throwing it right back at her when she's not expecting it, instead of continuing to pass to the other girl. She says it's not fair because she wasn't paying attention. I retort that I did it because of the way she was playing.

The game becomes more leisurely and the ball becomes a balloon. I sit down and I'm practicing moving it telekinetically. The balloon is making the kind of strange echoing sounds that you hear when handling real balloons, only strongly magnified. I'm impressed with the way my mind can conjure that unusual but distinctive sound which I probably haven't heard in years. Although the sound component of the dream is impressively vivid, the visuals are terrible. The whole scene is in grainy black and white, and the balloon is white too, which makes it very hard to see against the sky when I bounce it up into the air. At one point I launch it away from me and lose sight of it altogether. When I go to summon it back, instead of the balloon returning to my hand, my right hand is contorted with a strange sensation, like it's being squeezed.

Around this time, everything switches over to bright color, brilliant blues and pinks. It happens as suddenly as turning on a light, and makes everything look much more vivid and cheerful. I figure this is REM switching on more fully, and comment to one of the DCs, "Hey, color just kicked in!" I notice that instead of the two girls, there are now at least a dozen of them, and they seem to be having a dance party. I hear a bouncy pop song playing in the background.

I get up and wander through the group, then suddenly I remember the task I had designated as I went to sleep. I approach a girl at random. She's dressed very unusually and elaborately, probably day residue from a Chinese painting I was looking at in WBTB, and I'm doubtful about whether she will be able to help, but figure it can't hurt to ask.



"I'm looking for a lucid dream mantra," I begin, then think I should explain more clearly what I mean. "Something that—"

"Who is your mantra?" she interrupts. It's such an odd question that I stop and look more closely at her. Her face is pretty but blank.

"That was my question," I reply, then wait to see if she'll have anything more helpful to offer.

"Who is your mantra?" she repeats, in exactly the same tone and words, like a broken record.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," I insist. This is going nowhere. Reaching back with two hands I grasp the edges of a cloth, as though it were a scarf I were wearing around my neck, and draw it over both our heads. Now the two of us are alone in the dark, face to face, with just a bit of the background peeping through under the edges of the cloth behind her. Although I had performed the gesture instinctively, my intention was to blot out the distractions so I could try to communicate with the girl more effectively. A more rational course would have been to find someone else to ask, or ask the dream directly, but I got too caught up in my determination to try to make her understand. My approach was not helpful, however, as this deconstruction of most of the dream environment makes me lose traction and wake up.

FAs: I had gotten up and was nearly ready for work. I went to use the bathroom before leaving and stood there dumbfounded: everything else looked normal, but the toilet was gone! I recognized immediately what this must mean. "You've got to be freakin' kidding me," I said aloud. Usually I would be delighted to realize I was still dreaming, but this time I already felt like I'd invested a lot of time in getting ready for my day, and now I would have to do it all over again, so I was actually annoyed.

My lucid awareness must have been pathetically low, because instead of doing something cool with the dream or thinking of one of my many fallback tasks, I stood there until I had successfully conjured the toilet back into place, because I still wanted to use it! Then I noticed that the clarity of the dream was waning and in an attempt to restore focus, told myself: "Open your eyes." But I accidentally opened my real eyes, waking up! It was a fail on so many levels.

I wanted to get back to the dream state so again I tried to play along with hypnagogic visuals. I had an image of a three medieval-looking riders in a wooded hillside. There was a male, a female, and one other. I was loping after them in the form of a wolf. The scene felt stronger and more stable than the usual hypnagogic imagery, but less tangible than a fully manifested dream. I realized that I instinctively knew the names of the man and the woman. (I suspect the indistinct third was their servant or page.)

After I had nearly caught up with the riders, I worried that if they noticed me in wolf form they might shoot me with an arrow, so I transformed into a woman (nude, I noticed) and caught their attention. They turned around one exclaimed, "A forest sprite!"

I "woke up" (I might have even had a vague sense at the time that it was not a real waking, since it still felt too "thin" for a proper dream) and tried to write down their names on my computer. The man's came so easily that it left no trace in memory, but the woman's name took me a lot of effort to type correctly, and I kept making mistakes and having to fix them. On the bright side, this meant that I still remembered it clearly when I woke up for real later. Her name was "Gwynrse," which I took to be Welsh.

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Crisis and sleeping in wardrobe

I was in my home. It was during the great crisis. Government have sent a message to citizens, that there can be no more than three persons in home. My family told me to hide in the wardrobe, and they won't find me there. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. My youngr sister came. She tried to hide with me, but I told her to get lost. She went to mother, and told her that I'm drunk and rude. Mother came to me. I told her that I'm not drunk. She told me that government overcame the crisis, and I can sleep in my bed again.

DILD - the friendly wolf

I was outside my home, tidying our barn. Then I saw a wolf. It was angry, and barked at me.
I become lucid, and started whistling to the wolf. Then I told Why are you so aggresive? Confused wolf replied I am a wolf! What I'm supposed to do? I told Of course you are a wolf.... The wolf attacked me before I fully replied. Then I shouted You are a wolf, but kind and polite one! The wolf stopped barking, or trying to bite me. It replied Oh, I'm sorry about that, friend.
I wanted to go somewhere with my new friend, but I lost my lucidity, and another non-lucid dream started.

Detective haunted by nightmares

It was in 1923. I was a private detective. I drove to the great metropoly by train. I went out of train. My client told me to search for some bodies in the sewers. I wanted to go to the city instead. I walked from the train station pavement to the cobbled road. Suddenly I heard moaning and screams. I went on, a little frightened by the voices. Then I heard a gravely voice telling me Go straight that way.. I have moved back, but I overcame fear and went on. I felt stron pain in my chest, and my body was more and more numb. Then, I have reached a chapel, and all the voices ended.

DILD - being a security camera

I was back in primary school. I made an RC and become lucid. I saw a security camera hanging from the ceiling. I went to it, jumped and hanged from it. I pushed myself into the camera, and become one with it. I sensed someone close. I turned right, and saw a confused man looking at me. While turning, I felt like my whole body was streched. I haven't seen any camera effects while being one, my vision was the same all the time. I tried to stop being a camera. At first I couldn't change back, but I focused and went out.
I went straight the corridor, and lost lucidity. I woke up.

Wandering around a busy party at someone's house, my friend and I sit down at a table. Someone brings us both a beer. After just half of it, I feel pretty tipsy and get up to walk around. Upstairs, I find the bathroom, but instead of a toilet, there is a large pond, with urine instead of water, and two people on hover crafts racing around a small island in the center. I relieve myself, and do my best not to pee on the hovercraft racers, even though they nearly splash me with urine as they zoom past.

I go back downstairs and see a strange looking animal outside. It has the body of a vicious wolf, but the legs of a gazelle, and it doesn't know how to use the legs very well. It is quite slow, and looks like it is going to fall over. I watch as it goes from house to house looking for scraps to eat. Touched by its predicament of not being able to find any food, I ask my friend if he has anything I can give it. He gives me a piece of his sandwich. I go outside, and walk right up to the wolf-gazelle (Gazzolf / Wolfzelle?) and poke it in the rear leg to get its attention. I practically shove the food in its face, then put the food down next to it before running back to safety. The Gazzolf beats me to the door, and begs for more food. Out of no where, I pull a massive pile of food out of nothing and give it to the Gazzolf who chows down happily.

Going back inside, I learn that my friend is the target of an assassination. I too am a potential target. He has taken off to safety, leaving me in his room where the assassins are approaching. I am given an optional task of securing files from his MP3 player by uploading them to a public server where everyone can access them, thereby protecting them from being destroyed. I just want to run, but feel that this would be very helpful. Even though I am unfamiliar with the software involved, I make it happen, focusing with all my might so I can get it done before the assassins get here. I notice a few suspicious characters that look like ninjas approaching from the fields outside, sneaking toward the house at a dead sprint.

Running out of the room, I sense someone is just about to break through the window. I close the door and run downstairs to find my friend armed with a gun, pointing it right at me. I tell him I'll help him, and not to shoot me. Walking around the corner, I see a ninja, so I telepathically tell my friend, "There's one around the corner to your right." As the ninja turns the corner, my friend pre-fires him, shooting him immediately. I check out another nearby room and see another ninja, so I again tell my friend telepathically, "Behind you, another one with two swords." My friend again turns and shoots him before the ninja gets a chance to surprise him.

Hypnagogia, non-lucid

- I hear somebody is writing with a marker on paper while I'm distractedly thinking about dream signs

.../I get to a high place on a hill. I find some pals from the university. We talk about something, then I must go down. I realize I'm on the roof of a two or three floors house. I hang from the ledge and let myself fall doing some acrobatic movements to avoid hurting me/...

.../My wife carefully serves some dishes but she looks upset because she made some mistake putting a piece of flesh with a portion of rice next to it. I don't get what's wrong, but I want to help her to put the rice back to the pot. She gets annoyed because of it cannot be done. She asks me to throw it and get a clean dish because the rice goes on the right and we must respect the formalities.
Her dad (who's not her real dad) is helping her, but I see he's already eating some. I got upset and tell her it's not fair what they are doing because on one hand she asks me to respect the formalities while her dad is doing the opposite. I decide to go out. She asks me to be careful because of a wolf pack has been seen around the place. I see a lone gray wolf on the mountains next to the city, and a group of wolfs of around 10, wandering on the street, when I notice there's a black wolf among them. I tell her, a real wolf pack couldn't have a black wolf. It must be a wolf-dog pack, because of black wolves got extinct long ago I explain. I see a big dark brown dog-wolf licking the stove. Definitively it's a group of dog-wolves I say while I walk between some of them which are lying on the floor to get out of the house which is in the middle of a narrow street/...

6/5/2014

In bed: 11:50 PM - 7:05 AM

#7. I. 6:20 AM
I am playing in a platformer type game. It is a co-op, and it is 3D. We are in a giant room/world that is bottomless with just darkness below us. I've just made a jump to a platform, but it was far so I didn't make it easily but am hanging on the side. I have to pull myself up and onto it.

I am with a bunch of other people. We are gathering a top these buildings. There is one building top up here that is higher than the rest. That is where whatever is going on is taking place. As we are waiting for everyone to get here, I am missing. I think about some superhero that my brother has mentioned that is like a bird of sorts, but he can also use magic to create drafts of wind and such to speed himself up. The superhero almost seems to view this as cheating though and doesn't do this much. I am down at the bottom of some buildings and imagine using it and do which allows me to nearly teleport up to the top by flying super fast.
Up towards the top, I start looking around at all of the birds flying around looking for an eagle in specific. I watch this one small group of larger birds that I think might be eagles, but it turns out to be some smaller bird. I go back to where others are gathering. I climb up this tower that is of the same height of the top of that building. I watch from there a bit. I sit some trash or something down in front of me on the tower that I was holding just so I don't have to hold for now, and I'd get it later. But it falls eventually when I am adjusting myself, and KP who is on the side of the building climbs down and picks it up before I can get down. I get mad as a result, as I would have gotten myself and didn’t want her to go through the trouble for something so dumb anyway.
The event is that BP and TM are getting married. Lots of emails have been sent out about it, and I see them sending out a few more before it starts. I am sort of annoyed with the whole thing, mostly because in addition to them getting married, some girl that I like is also involved somehow in the wedding. I know that it’s not that she’s getting married as I would know if there was a guy, but she seems to be establishing that she is getting prepared for the future or something.

I am with a few other people, as we are approaching a village. There is an RPG-feel to things and the village. Outside the village, we encounter a wolf who charges at us and starts attacking us. We eventually manage to get in. Later, I have exited the village from another side for some purpose, then head back having transformed into a wolf somehow. I end up wrapping around and coming to enter the village again from the side we first came in. I sneak up on the wolf that we encountered before and scare it from behind making it run away in fear with its tail between its legs. Because I am wolf, I cannot open the gate to get back inside, so I decide to jump over the fence. I use a bench that is on the outside of the fence to help me jump over.
Back to a human form in the village, I am now going to pick up groceries for my mom. I have a self-driving car. I have already gotten the groceries which are in the car with me. I watch and wait as the car parks in the parking lot. I am very skeptical of whether it will actually be able to park successfully. After it does park, I just sit and wait in the car for awhile for some reason. The car is really large with the back of it having an interior like the size of a room in a house. At a certain point, the windows fog up a lot, and I cannot see out of it very well. Not long after that, it starts to snow and rain at the same time, the rain causing the windows to unfog as if the fogginess was on the outside. Everyone outside is surprised by the weather.

I am hanging out in a dorm with two girls and a guy. The guy and one of the girls seems to be together, and the other girl, who looks like J, is more so my friend than the other two for me. My friend goes to the bathroom, and while I am occupied in my room with something, they start pulling together on the doorknob of the bathroom so that the girl cannot open the door to leave. I watch from my doorway as they work together pulling, the other girl climbing on the shoulders of the guy to have better leverage on the door. Eventually, they let her out, laughing.

02.01.2014

To Be A Wolf (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am sitting in the floor beside my roommate's bed. We have both performed some sort of ritual to transform ourselves into otherworldly creatures. Alex is about to become some sort of undead dark lord, while I am going to be a werewolf. We know that the process will be very painful, but we are prepared.

Her transformation begins first. She clutches her arm and screams in agony as a green-gray bruise-like sheen begins to overtake her skin. I sit in the floor and awkwardly watch, knowing that people in the hallway are going to think she's being murdered. After a few minutes, her screams stop and the transformation is complete. "Look!" she says excitedly. "I've completely transformed."

She notices that my canine teeth are beginning to protrude much farther than normal. "Oh, your transformation is starting now, too." I go to the mirror and watch in fascination as my teeth grow sharper and more wolf-like. However, my interest is cut short when the pain in my gut begins. It feels like someone is grabbing my organs and squeezing hard. I fall to the floor, convulsing, shrieking with each stab of pain in my stomach. After what feels like an eternity, the pain fades and I black out.

*time lapse*

A month has passed. It is the full moon once more, and I am excited to experience being the Wolf for the first time, since I was unconscious for the duration of the last full moon. It will be much easier for me the second time around, I know. The only problem is, people know a werewolf is living nearby and they have formed a mob to kill it. I will have to be extremely careful not to get caught.

Unfortunately for me, it is summer, which means that the moon's power hits me early in the evening. I'm attending an outdoor dinner party with my mother when the feeling begins. I know I will turn soon. "I'm going to step out in the woods for a minute," I tell my mother. She doesn't know that I'm the werewolf everyone is concerned about.

"I'll go with you," she says.

"No. I'm going alone." I tell her firmly.

"Then you're not going at all!" she snaps.

I'm beginning to grow angry and a bit desperate. "I'm 20 years old. You can't run my life anymore!" I storm out into the woods before she can stop me. I take my wolf form almost as soon as I'm out of sight from the party. It feels wonderful! A sense of power and freedom so powerful is coursing through my veins, that I throw my head back and howl. The sound echoes eerily through the forest, sounding more dangerous than any wolf. Damn. I'd forgotten about the mob.

Someone comes crashing through the woods towards me--- it was my mother. She has a shotgun, pointed directly at me. I desperately try to signal for her to not shoot, but she can't understand me! It is too late. She fires the gun.

The bullet pierces through my stomach, knocking me to the ground. I'm too weak to feel the pain. As I begin to involuntarily shift back to my human form, my mother's look of realization and scream of horror at what she's done are the last things I experience before everything goes black.

02.01.2014

To Be The Prey (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

My brother and I are standing in our back yard when we notice a chicken and a rooster down the hill. "Let's chase them!" I say excitedly. He agrees, so we take off after the birds. Using what little flying ability they have, the birds easily flutter out of our reach. Suddenly becoming lucid, I fly off after them. Flying, it's much easier to keep up with the chickens, but we still manage to lose them after a while. I also lose lucidity.

My mother has read a task in her scouting handbook that requires the participant to mark their favorite pages in a book and then leave the book outside to show the dogs. I think this is completely stupid and want no part in it. However, my mother is trying to make me complete this task. She is SO annoying that I finally concede, but when I walk outside with the book it occurs to me that the dogs will just chew it up rather than try to read the pages I've marked.

Irritated, I walk to the back of the yard where my dad and brother are sitting. I'm complaining to them about how irritating my mom is being when suddenly coyotes begin howling nearby. The dogs go crazy, and I decide to stir them up even more by howling along with the coyotes.

However, just before I start howling I notice that the "coyotes" are walking directly into our yard. "Woah, are you sure those are coyotes?" I ask my dad. They look more like large wolves.

There are two of them, and they both lay eyes on me at the same moment. They drop to a hunting crouch, growling furiously and stalking closer to me. One of them lunges. I manage to jump at the same instant, kicking the beast so hard in the head that he falls limp to the ground. My timing isn't so great with the other one. He barrels into me, knocking me over. However, I still have my grip on the book, which happens to be a pretty heavy hard back. I begin beating the wolf over the head with my book. It is a long a bloody process with such a terrible weapon, but I somehow manage to beat him to death. My book is now sticky with his blood.

I am irrationally furious that my book has been ruined despite not following through with my mom's asinine task, so I stomp off toward the hill to bury it. But as I approach the edge of the forest, I am at first horrified to see more wolves. However, it seems they are impressed with my fighting skills. They have come to make me an honorary member of their Pack.

The biggest, toughest wolf does not agree with this decision. He attacks me without warning, intending to kill me. His attack knocks me off balance, but I use the momentum to roll on top of him. There are no real weapons nearby. I somehow manage to get a hold of a deer's leg bone, which I promptly shove into the wolf's mouth when he tries to bite me. I shove the bone deep into his throat until he chokes to death. Upon dying, he finally accepts me as an equal.

Major rise in confidence during this dream! Got an animal transformation, Advanced TotM, and was getting there on a Task of the Year, too. Thanks to NewArtemis for the dream control suggestions!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #171: I Am the Wolf

I have a false awakening that places me in my bed at home next to Wife. All of the lights are on and she's fiddling around with some papers in bed, something to do with my new business. "Oh good, you're awake," she says. I grumble about how unhappy I am that this is the case.

"Sorry," she responds, "but we really need to work on this." I whine that it should be able to wait until the morning and that I was trying to have a lucid dream. She turns back to the papers, not bothering me any further. I'm a little worried that I was rude and have maybe pissed her off, but I decide to just take my chance while I can. I roll onto my side and begin my mantra of "The world is yours". I'm shocked to find that almost immediately I start a WILD transition. (Obviously just an in-dream WILD, but I didn't realize it at the time.)

In the transition state, my dream hands are grasping at something rough that's rolling by beneath me. I grasp at it and start clawing my way along. A gravel surface comes into view. It seems like I'm floating while climbing a ladder made out of gravel that's been crudely mortared together. After a bit, the scene solidifies and the gravel becomes a path. There's one more odd little jump as gravity takes hold and now I'm walking along the path in a full-formed scene.

It's dawn and I'm on a path that cuts through a park, not far from a street. Most of the DCs are dressed like it's chilly but it feels mild to me. I remember my intention to be extra confident in this dream and I start shouting my intentions at the passerby. "I can do anything I want! This is all mine!" I shout, interspersing lots of profanity and generally sounding like a total nutjob.

I remember Task of the Month to turn into a white wolf, hide in the snow, and hunt down a meal. I still feel all crazy from my mantra and the insane confidence I had at the start of this dream. I shout in a booming voice that's not my own that "I AM THE WOLF!" Immediately my hands curl into white paws. I practice running a bit on all fours and it's not bad! I kind of get the sense that I'm sort of bent over like a loping hunchback / werewolf thing but hey, close enough!

I go on a brief, profanity-laced tirade about how there's a bunch of snow to my right, and yep there it is. I hop my little wolf-feet into it and crouch down, looking to my left for some prey. Immediately I spy two potential targets: the closest is a large skunk and the other is an orange, semi-spherical alien thing with tentacles. The skunk's closer and the alien makes me a bit nervous, so I pounce on the skunk.

My teeth rip into him and I tear a big chunk away. Fortunately none of this is bloody but the skunk stares at me in shock. The skunk meat tastes atrocious. It's like chewing on a fart. I can't remember whether I'm supposed to eat the whole animal so I take another bite. This time it's more gummy and tasteless at first but after a bit of chewing, nope, this bite's all farty-tasting too. I hope this is good enough because I've had enough of being a carnivore.

I allow myself to change back into a human and walk further into the park. I come to three identical stone buildings with opaque green windows, standing side by side. I think of the Colosseum Task of the Year and shout that the building which leads to the Colosseum needs to light up. No immediate result, so another attempt, more yelly and with more profanity does the trick and the middle building's door lights up.

I move through a series of three automatic glass doors where a steady stream of children is walking in the opposite direction. I say that the kids need to get out of the way and DC parents appear from out of nowhere to pull them to the side as I pass. I emerge in a restaurant area filled with DCs enjoying a meal. An Indian man in his early 40s is playing on a slot machine against the left wall and he turns to look at me with an expression of surprise.

I push through the back door out into the early morning next to a crumbling sports arena. It's huge and looks a lot like the Colosseum apart from some weird details like the rebar that's sticking out of the top of it. I fly up toward the top and as a gust of wind carries me sideways away from where I want to be, I shout and mutter that "this is my world", and things get back on track.

I come over the top of the stadium to see that inside it looks like a grassy version of the Circus Maximus! There's even a little chariot racing by itself around the track. I know I can make this work, so I fly down toward the field, shouting that down there will be someone for me to fight. Before I'm even halfway down, though, the dream ends.

Last ToTY done!!!!!!! I can't believe myself... I had my doubts in pulling off the last one

03.12.2013

The Legend of Zelda, Asking for a present and trampling over New York as King Kong. (MILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

A C C O M P L I S H E D!!!! Last ToTY and both ToTM December!!!

Sometimes I cannot believe my subconscious how it helps me! Dream Incubation works like a charm... pulled the Advanced II in a very easy way! And did some others too! Wohooo. Task of the Year done in less than a month an a half... just amazing.

I was in some weird house with people I did not know anything about. The house was very big, but even though from the inside looked like a house, it was an apartment. All the walls were gray, like made out of concrete without any painting. All the furniture looked kind of old and with a lot of dust. I was playing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess... And those of you have played, you know that Link transformed into a wolf in several events of the game... sure this was not an arctic wolf... just a weird type of wolf. I realized I was dreaming, because I did not know the place where I was at and because I beat that game years ago. I looked at my hands and they looked pretty big, plus the fact that my thumb was like a feet away from my Index finger, and my Index, was wavy. I stood up flinging away the ps3 controller but realized that I had half of one of the task done. I first visualized the game scenario to be around me instead of in the tv (did this in the past already, and if I am not mistaken, this was in other ToTM December, lol) I found myself into the game, but the game scenario changed, it was all full of snow, I could not even see a fragment of green on the trees. Link (either normal and wolf form) was gone, but the Twilight princess was still there, looking at me (for those who you do now know, she both rode link as a wolf and had something to transform him into a wolf if I recall well) I asked her to please transform me into an Artic Wolf, not the regular one. I heard her odd metallic laugh and she hit me with a stone until all I could see was the snow. My dream started to fade fast and I started to run, looking up in the sky, but I felt weird. I realized she successfully turned me into an artic wolf.

I saw a bush full of snow and I decided to hide inside of it, until I was completely camouflaged. I saw a weird looking orc (hey, it is still a pray...) with a wooden sword... I jumped on him and started biting him until it banished. It actually banished instead of just dying and/or living a body. Advanced II done.

I now wanted to go back home and keep working on the tasks, so I closed my eyes a few times (not during 10 seconds and neither wanted to try, that is an almost sure waking up... not for me) until I was back home, as a human, but I was confused and my dream faded.

I had a false awakening in bed, it looked like my bedroom, but I knew I was not in my house. Which helped me to turn lucid again. My wife was still in bed and I went to the living room. I started to look into some drawers for a cigar. I do not smoke cigars, but I felt I needed to do something with one, until I heard my wife moving out from bed and going to the bathroom. I recalled the basic task of asking for a gift. I ran to my wife and told her, "Can you give me a Christmas gift please?" She smiled at me and said, "Sure." She went to the living room and spawned a bag out of nowhere. She pulled three small alarm clocks. She said that those three were my gift. She smiled at me and said, "Look, it is 1:32 am" I knew in waking life it was much later, but whatever. I also sang a Christmas Carol. as I thought it was another of the basic tasks as well...

With both ToTM done, I focused on the last task of the Year. I was going to leave my house, and as I was leaving, my dream started to fade really quick to the point of almost awakening. I pulled off my best stabilization technique. Grabbing something from the Dream World and focusing on it. I grabbed onto the staircase handrail. It was metallic and very cold, lucky me! I started to see the dream again, until the dream quality went great again. As I exited the building, there was a doorman who said, "Sir, grab your free coffee!" I turned back and replied, "No need, I am sleeping." The doorman looked at me like if I was nuts. I took of for a small flight to make the dream quality increase.

I started to walk down the street and I was focusing on teleporting to New York. As I kept walking, I saw snow and turned right on a street and saw a ton of huge buildings. I was next to a random DC who apparently, was my friend. She said to me, "Look, the Empire State Building, and it is not destroyed!" It made sense to me in the moment and I grabbed it and started to climb it. I grew up in size like 10 times. My arms were as wide as the building itself, but I was still in human form. As I climbed the building, I started to roar and make monkey noises. After a while climbing, my arms started to become thick and hairy. Suddenly, my arms were covered in dark brown hair and so my entire body and kept transforming until I was an ape... and since I was giant, well, I was King Kong. I kept climbing until I reached the top. The very top of the Empire State Building was not bigger than my hand, and I started to roar even harder. There was a small speaker on the empire state building, and a very annoying intense alarm started to sound, it was like one of those apartment fire alarms. I heard the sound of jets around me and police cars on the street. I started to move one of my ape arms while the other one was holding onto the building. I knocked down a couple of jets and then, jumped from the building to the ground, smashing some cop cars. I was almost as big as the building and started to run, breaking other buildings around.

I started to run away from downtown until I was back to normal size again and (I believe) human again. I kept running and thinking what else I needed to do, but the dream started to fade even faster. I tried to save it, but I was feeling my body in bed and even hearing waking world noises until I woke up.

The past while I haven't been sleeping great and there are often days I don't sleep at all and wait until after college to take naps. Today I took two naps, the first one lasted for maybe 2 hours and the second one lasted for 2.5.

In the second one I had such an odd dream that's stuck in my head. I was trying to walk through what I think was a corn field or something. A blonde girl was following me and had a panther. She had control over the panther and often sat down to pet it like a cat.

I noticed I was afraid of being bitten, but never got bit. I also noticed that I had a greyish wolf with me, kind of like protecting me but the blonde girl didn't seem too afraid of it.

Please help translate this

01.08.13
The scenario:
In the dream, some sort of alien species has attacked earth and wiped out most of the human civilization. Those who are still alive, are living in small groups. Some just trying to survive and stay out of sight, others beliving that there is still a chance of defeating the opposing alien threat. This dream is about the "Alien Resistance Force".
The dream takes place in some sort of forest, hard to say where, quite dense vegetation, but not quite as tropical as a jungle. High trees and a canopy that is so thick that almost no sunlight shine trough.

I don't quite remember the appearance of the aliens, but they where about one and a half time as big as a normal human, and was blackish in their skin.

The fragments of the dream that i can remember:
In the dream i am either an observer, or a little child. (maybe both).
The last resistance camp (not sure if in just this area, or in the whole world) had been exposed, and the aliens was moving in to attack. During this time, most of the camp was out patrolling and scouting.
While i was watching one of the scout groups, the aliens moved in on the camp and slaughtered everyone, and everything. I remember seeing the camp in the aftermath, when a group returned. All that was left alive, was a badly injured cow, which was almost cut in half and sprayed blood out of its lungs every time it tried to breathe. It was a horrible sight.
The scouting group was in an old ruin at the time the aliens caught up with them. The group thought that the aliens was not aware of their presence, so they tried to hide. It did not work, and the battle was futile, all but one little boy and his wolf was killed, with almost no alien casualties.

The boy managed to escape, and made his way with the wolf pup up trough the forest and to the mountains. Where he would try to survive and train the wolf to help him.

Wednesday: Angel wings on someone, a wolf (me?)

-A man gets in water to heal, but apparently there’s some (light gray) stain left over that a woman points out on his chest. He thinks it may just be a stain on his shirt, but when he lifts up the shirt, the imprint is on his body too.

He’s at home and wondering how to tell his family.

-Someone (me?) is drawing in pen. They lean back and see that it’s a picture of Kabeyama (from Inazuma Eleven), but he’s a bit off on one side.

-A girl (possibly Ella) in a house talking (to me?).

Note: Still fixing my sleep schedule, so I’m tired lately and my recall/productivity is suffering.

Forgot that I never copied this to my Dream Journal even though I made a post about it. I may as well add another while I'm here.

Co-worker acting Strangely - 12/14/2012

I don't remember how the dream began. Like many of my dreams it took place in one of my childhood homes, except that the wall dividing the two bedrooms at the end of the hall is gone so that it is one big room. A co-worker of mine (I'll call him K) is intentionally scaring people. But not in a leap-around-corners kind of way. More in an extremely-creepy-I'm-intending-to-murder-you way.

I'm watching him from the end of the hall. He's wearing ancient Chinese armor. It's all brown and black, the front and back are dark brown tiles linked together, with black plating underneath. He's wearing kind of a conical helmet with a face on the front, and a face on the back. The armor is designed in such a way that it's very difficult to tell which direction he is actually facing in. K is moving around the two people at the other end of the hall, twisting and sliding and bending like a contortionist.
This is about when I become aware it's a dream. I go to the other end of the hall, though he really scares me. I see that he's pulling a small bronze knife with a triangular blade from inside his armor. I can see another one. I make the choice to steal it as he's twisting around the man at the end of the hall. I believe that this is my only chance to stop the horror of K. So I grab the knife from inside his armor and stab him in the neck. The blade goes in, but he is bloodless. He takes the helmet off and removes the knife from his neck. It slides out like his skin is a sheathe. K slides the knife back into his neck and pulls it out several times, grinning at the three of us. I'm horrified.

The dream skips scenes. I'm standing at the start of the hallway again. I am very tired and I can see my bed. I'm really looking forward to sleeping. It has a tarnished brass frame and stark white sheets. That's when I realize K is laying in the exact middle of the bed, his presence deeply dismays me, though now he's just wearing a white t-shirt. The armor is gone. I assume he's not playing the creepy guy anymore, and see that as a role, a costume. I'm afraid, but I'm tired and I just want to rest. I walk to the bed and pull the sheet back like I'm going to lay down, but then I just stare at him. I can see the bloodless slit in his neck where he was keeping the knife. It really unsettles me. I go into the black doorway across from the bed, knowing it's my parent's bedroom. I realize the couple inside are not my parents, and I don't really know what I expect them to do about my problem. But, like a frightened child (that's even how I identified this action in the dream), I wake the man by lightly touching his foot.
"I don't know where I'm supposed to sleep....K is in my bed."
"It's alright, don't worry about it." The man says.
"But I'm afraid."
The man doesn't respond, I know he's gone back to sleep. I return to my bed. K rolls over and sits up. I just look at him warily.
"It's okay if you lay down." he says.
Reluctantly, I get under the sheets. I'm still afraid. He tries to reassure me that he's not going to kill me, but as he says it he pulls the bronze knife from under one of the pillows and casually slips it into the slit in his neck. He grins. I'm not reassured at all...

I honestly don't understand. As a person, K doesn't scare me. We're even work friends. On top of that I very rarely have nightmares, so I don't know why I had this one. Nothing has happened at work with K to trigger it. ((In hindsight this is hilarious. At the time it was true, I didn't really have nightmares for a long time. I've had many lately =/))

A man in a suit is talking to a young man with a narrow face, black eyes and black hair. He's giving him news of some inevitable event. The guy reacts childishly, beginning to protest in a high, frightened voice. "No, no, no, no, I don't want to. I don't WANT to. No, no, no."
The man in the suit frowns at him, thinking that obviously this person is more child than man. He had expected a more mature reaction. The kid looks dead-eyed, and for a second I wonder if he's pretending to be scared. Then I realize I've misinterpreted his wooden expression, he's terrified.


Saja and Wolf, Shame and Separation 02/05/2013
Part of this is going in a spoiler because it's sexual.
The beginning is much less clear than the end. I'm traveling in proximity with a group of people. It feels like we are on foot, going in the same direction but not actually together.
There's a long lush green field. They sky is gray overhead, but I've always liked how vivid the world looks following a rain spell. There are a couple of people flying kites. From the back, I recognize Walter Bishop. We end up riding bikes down the length of field , careful not to run long black hoses. I had a reason for doing that, but I can't remember it now.
We arrive at the house just before nightfall. The house feels old and rundown. The walls are wood paneled, the carpet dingy white. A few feet from the front door is a large mattress and a chair at the foot of the bed. I stand by the chair. A middle-aged man with curly black hair going gray, decides that the thing to do now is have sex.

Spoiler for grossness. :

Everyone except one woman and a couple of the men object. On the left half of the mattress is the man's brother, laying with a long legged blonde woman. She is only wearing a light blue button-up. He opens the shirt, spooning behind her. I catch the eye of the other man laying on the right half of the bed.
He eyes me lustfully. I just stand there, uncertain, unwilling. All around the house, people are pairing off. I feel like I have to do it too, and at the time, I almost want to.
"Take off your shirt, pants and bra. Leave on the that jacket and your panties."
I do as he says, leaving myself barely clothed now in white panties and a fuchsia duster that hangs to mid-thigh. He holds his hand out to me and I walk across the mattress on my knees to take it. He pulls me down in front of him. I feel a surge a disgust.
"Yes, that's nice." He croons as I lay down on my side. When I move the sweater pulls open. I'm pretty sure I don't want to have sex, especially with all these people around. He tries to convince me otherwise, telling me to watch the others. My eyes skate over the blonde and his brother. He's calling our attention to her arousal.
The man starts to touch me, pressing his lips to my neck and fondling my breasts. He slips a hand down between my legs and whispers to me. This goes on for a long time, but he doesn't take me. The whole thing feels like a mockery of something, and I can't put my finger on what it is. Like there's a deeply buried memory similar to what the man is doing, but this time I'm revolted.

A fierce-looking woman with red-blonde hair stands at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, looking disgusted. She beckons to me. I'm relieved I have a reason to desert the bed, I feel unclean. She goes to the window and peers out through the slats of the blind. It is late and the End is on its way. Unhealthy light flashes through the slats.
"They've started to gather. It's almost time."
"The others are out there?" I ask, intrigued. She glances down at me and I'm acutely aware that I'm mostly naked. I pull the sweater closed and cross my arms to keep it that way. "Is Wolf with them?"
"Who?"
"Our leader." I start to feel stupid. "The one who brought us here." I feel like I've made a mistake and it worries me.
"Oh. Him. I haven't noticed." She pauses. "So...you think that he orchestrated all of this." Her tone makes it sound like he's a low-brow brute and that my suggestion is entirely ridiculous. I'm offended for him, and for myself.
"No, the Spirits told him what to do."
"Oh, of course they did."
I wonder if 'Wolf' means nothing to them but I can't think of another name to call him. I sink into a chair that's angled slightly away from the window. She doesn't realize how deeply her lack of reaction has affected me. I ask about the first person I can think of.

"Is Saja with them?"
She gives me an uncomprehending look. "Could you check? She's..." I briefly describe her, she'd be small with curling black hair to her waist. I'm on the verge of tears now, my voice is thick with emotion.
"No." She responds, looking outside. "Maybe they just haven't arrived yet." She says it like she's just trying to make me feel better.
I completely lose it. My sense of purpose, my hope for all this to be over. The belief that my instincts were right just crumbles to nothing. I feel shame and revulsion for letting a stranger touch me so intimately and in front of others.
"I left for this?"
She doesn't understand what I'm talking about. I realize that she has forgotten all of it. Who we were, what we did, all that we left behind.
"I left Home so that some disgusting perverted stranger could feel me up? I left Liam for this?" I'm crying hysterically now. A different woman tries to comfort me but she has recently left one of the men and I can't stand the thought of her dirty hands on me. I've pulled my knees up to my chest and I'm hugging them as I sob nonsensical questions. The idea that we've come to this has broken me.

02/21/2013 Unsettling, Liam

This dream is unsettling because it was always difficult enough to walk around with this guy at work, because of how much he reminded me Liam. My reasoning mind kept me from thinking about it too much and after repeatedly working with him I had conditioned myself to ignore it. I had never dreamt anything like this with him as the focus and it made me very uncomfortable. For anyone who is hasn't been following along, Liam is a vivid DC who often appears in my dreams. He's tall, with copper or auburn hair and blue eyes. I'll leave the description at that.
I'm sitting on a dark blue couch pressed against a wall of dark tinted windows. It is night outside, it has a very...after-hours feel. Beside me is someone I used to work with who reminds me of Liam.
A pretty young woman sweeps out of the place, calling over her shoulder about meeting him later for coffee. He looks troubled, tense, unhappy. As I am about to ask him what's wrong, he speaks into the stillness.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to tell my wife." He says.
I smile sympathetically and pull my knees up onto the couch.
"I guess that depends on your intent. If you're going to coffee because you have feelings for her..."
He cuts me off with a humorless laugh. "You think this is about her?"
I freeze, unsure what I should do or say. Does that mean I'm the problem? Even in the dark I can tell he keeps glancing at me, deeply troubled. He averts his eyes, bowing his head, thinking how difficult this has become. He's trembling with the effort to...stay contained. To not cross a line. After a long moment, he reluctantly reaches over and touches my knee. This forcefully reminds me of Liam. I blush furiously, trying to stifle the rush of emotions that beset me. I sit very still. He starts to withdraw his hand when I pull it back by linking my pinky and ring finger with his, very aware of the weight of his hand and the pounding of my heart. He desperately wants this and doesn't at the same time.
I release his hand and rise to my knees beside him. I'm wearing a faded green tank top that I haven't seen since I was in high school. He presses his hand flat against my abdomen. I realize that this is the closest I will ever come to being intimate with Liam and decide to revel in the moment. He looks up at me. Faint light from outside illuminates the left side of his face and turns one eye into a shining pool. He looks so much like Liam that it hurts. He reaches up with his free hand and presses his palm to the left side of my neck. Again, I think of Liam. He draws me down and brushes his lips below my right ear. I lose track of everything.
Something forces me awake.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

With a group being threatened by armed men. One is about to rape a girl. I don't accept this. I know I risk being killed, but I decide it's one of those defining moments in which one has to risk its own life, so I attack the rapist and get his gun and use it to shoot all the bad guys. I'm wounded, but alive. A wound in my leg is looking bad. Open and with white pus. I squeeze it to drain it, but I feel something alive inside, like a huge white worm. Disgusted, I rip the wound to try to get it out, but what I find is a tiny white wolf, like an embryo inside my flesh. It gets out and grows to normal size. It's actually beautiful and I feel so blessed!

The beginning of the dream has the visual clarity of an old movie, a little faded, with occasional black lines. An elderly woman narrates, standing beside a large car. She's wearing a powder blue dress with a straw hat. Her fluffy curls look very white against her clothes. She's helping to load light mauve luggage into a net atop the car.
"Things were different in those days. Raised entirely on the farm, in quiet schools. When you came of age you would go off to University, and if the music was good (as it usually was) you'd join the chorus."

I don't remember what happened between that and this next scene.
Kvothe from The Name of the Wind is sitting in front of a small cook-fire, ringed in stones. He's wearing a loose white shirt and dark brown pants. His hair looks very red. He shifts to the other side of the fire as a slim woman with honey colored skin and short chestnut hair moves over to use it. She keeps looking at him disapprovingly. There's an L-shaped awning sticking out from the shed, connected to the front of the woman's house, it's her house we sit in front of. In front of the shed are two tables. I can see the front door and dusty sand-colored stone steps. Her husband comes home as Kvothe lifts a deep green guitar, using it like an upright bass. He is learning how to play the true names of things. He has just perfected 'fire'. He starts to play 'tree', gripping the neck and sliding all four of his fingers down the strings.
"HEY!" the man yells. Kvothe isn't quite playing it right, a tree nearby quivers violently and threatens to topple. Kvothe alters the note a little and instead of quivering the tree sings with the truth of its name. Kvothe grins and stops playing. The man rolls his eyes.
"Yes, yes. You are very clever."
The man keeps scowling at Kvothe, like he doesn't want him there but is obligated to teach him Name Songs so that he doesn't hurt anyone with his wild talent.
I think how the color of the guitar matches his eyes.

I'm running on a long narrow walkway that stretches from one end of the street to the other, hugging a sand colored building. I stop at the edge and look at what I'm holding in my hand. Three colored stones. One is the amethyst crystal I fell asleep wearing on a chain around my wrist. The other two are pendants I have, usually labradorite, and amber. Now they are both dark red. I blink, thinking they should be a different color.

I hear the alarm going off in the other room and wake up. I doze back off trying to think of how to start writing my forum DJ post. It starts with the old woman. When I get to the part where she mentions music, a strain of music swells in the back of my mind drowning out her voice. I try to focus on it and backtrack to the end of her sentence. When I regain focus the car is gone and I am a young girl, reveling in new found summer freedom. There's a dirt path in front of the house where the car was parked. I run down it to the stable. I'm thinking how the house was small and correct myself, thinking that it was the 60's, it should be a large, sprawling property. As I think it, my surroundings change subtly, feeling more open.
The stables are huge, when I pass them I look inside, they are corrugated metal.
"We had many animals, of all different kinds."
They pour from the stalls, horses (which I'm very excited to see), cows, sheep, chickens, cats...so many. When they run out into the open with me I notice a simple black tent pitched in the middle of the field. It moves to follow us, I can't see inside. As my father meets us the tent jumps a little, I think that inside is a wolf. A feral one. Then I see our tame wolf she's mostly white, looks kind of like this:
http://4packs.webs.com/1%20%20%20%20...%201%20aca.jpg
She sits down at my father's feet, looking lovely. I stare intently at the tent, waiting for the other wolf to emerge...

And the alarm in the other room goes off again.

This dream has three layers.
In the first I am a man, a soldier, wearing a battered colonial uniform. Out of the corner of my eye I see the small weathered row boat that will take me across the water to the island. I know the kind people there will hide me. I have an old book open, laying page down across my knees. There's one last bit of evidence to link my name to this place. The spine (and one inch to either side) is covered in white leather with gold writing.
I glance up before I take my knife to the back of the book and see the calm ocean and clear sky, an island crowned with trees, then to my right a narrow strip of beach. I press my blade into the cover and where the sharp edge meets its surface the dusty red cover begins to fray. My own self has a moment of worry. I can see the fibers beneath the leather separating. I'm damaging a valuable artifact!
Then the character's personality supersedes my own. I realize it doesn't matter if I damage it, as it will never leave the island. Now I just have to destroy the leather...

It has been 14 years since I went into hiding. I married an island woman and together we raised a daughter named Antila. Soon she will be initiated into the tribe. She is small-framed, like her mother, but with my coloring. Pale, flawless skin, gold-brown hair and eyes. She could be a self-centered snot.
I see her now, some of her hair up in a gold-cross wire cage, a gold choker and an ankle-length white dress.
I become Antila, running alongside a stone wall. It used to be a tunnel but now there's a jagged hole in the ceiling, as I pass I see a flash of vivid green foliage and a lacework of sky. I rush to the end and turn into the courtyard. This place has no roof, all the same stone with tree visible at every side. I see my father standing by the far wall with several others, the tribe elders. This is the Ritual of Choosing. On the wall behind him are engraved three animals, all in peaked stone windows. In one is a mammoth, the middle one I don't remember, and the last looks like a combination of a lion and a wolf. In the engraving of the lion-wolf a bright blue stone glimmers in the sun. I know he has chosen me.
There's a lapse and I'm sitting on a stone bench, a dark haired muscular man settles down next to me. He washed ashore a few weeks ago and has yet to leave. In truth , the elders want to keep him here if he can't be judged honest. The last thing my father needs after 14 years of hiding is to be exposed by this man. We have a conversation, my father interrupts and calls the man away. I'm a little annoyed when I realize what he's saying. I'll talk to whoever a please!
"What did I say to you? I warned you to stay away from my daughter."

I rise into another layer of sleep but I believe I have woken up. The house is larger than it should be, and my sister is living with me. I try to tell my sister about the dream I'd been having. Being the soldier, then his daughter, then describing the tunnel and the engraved animals.
"Do you know what plateaus are?" I ask her, but she just gives me a blank look. I try to describe where part of the village sits, and how the top of the plateau is subtly tiered, and covered in moss instead of grass.

The dream slips and I am myself, back in the village. I'm standing in the tunnel and there are small rugs rolled up and piled together against the wall. A young man walks by and says something to tease me when the rugs roll from the careful pyramid I've been crafting. I glance at him, unamused. When he and his friends see that I'm not taking their good natured teasing as it is meant, they stop to help me pick up the rugs, smiling to show they meant nothing.
As I see this scene the soldier from before is speaking about how I was forced to leave the island.
"See what you made her leave? How different it is where you made her go? And you call me unkind for confining my family to this place. There is no cruelty here."
The whole thing sends a ripple of grief through my chest, and with it I flip back to my house, I cover my face and cry.

There's a third layer, but I don't remember this one very well, it was right before I woke up. All the people from the island, have come here to this place of cruelty. Some have found themselves imprisoned like they are animals, but I'm the only one that can see who they really are. A young man with shoulder-length white hair and a woman with long black hair huddle naked in a roofless cage, thick metal collars around their necks with chains bolted into the concrete.
One second I think that this man looks exactly like Wolf. A DC I encounter often. I try to realize how untrue that opinion is, he really looks nothing like Wolf, but the dream takes hold of me and I cannot argue. It's nice, everything in the city is glistening with the recent rain. I see other people from the island, from one angle they look like lion-wolves, but from another they look like people. They are beginning their revolt, breaking free.
I wander over to a grey building that reminds me of a barn. A man kneels on the threshold. He notices me, looking terrified.
"Tell me you can see the dead." He says.
I shake my head, confused, but then something catches my notice at the corner of my vision. An impossibly tall woman with a weathered-dead face and no eyes looming over him. I back away and leave him to his fate. Then I see them everywhere, standing at the cage where Wolf and the woman are chained, down the street stalking one of the lion-wolves...