I am at work when I see a woman come in the Sephora doors, quickly grab two items in Sephora, and then walk out and through the mall doors. It happened so quickly and unexpectedly that I didn’t really have time to do anything. Now, I am at some outdoor event where there are a bunch ot tents/booths. I notice the woman at one of them what looks like the two items right by her. I go up and confront her about it, and she gives me some excuse of not knowing she had to pay for them inside the store. I offer for her to go back and pay for them now, and she actually starts coming back. I get the idea to just take her back to the office and apprehend her as a shoplifter since I technically have all the steps. She actually comes into the office and sits down. I’m wondering if everything will look okay on video, just in case.
I am outside somewhere, walking. The area feels like a small residential area outside of town. The properties here are large and out of place in the modernity of the rest of the town. This is not detrimental, and they seem completely self functioning. I notice large, wood residences. I am walking through a lot, the ground completely covered in small pieces of wood (maybe 6-8 inches long and 3 inches in diameter). The wood looks slightly old/rotted, one section especially so. I’m taking care with each step, aware and respectful of the fact that this is someone’s property. I am now walking under what seems like a huge, high deck. I notice the vast amount of wood comprising it. This wood too looks old and weathered. Now, I seem to be on a road with just enough elevation to give me a view of all the properties around. It is dim to dark out. There’s a wide and languid river and a large, castle-looking residence on a hill. I take a picture, capturing the moonlit water and the silhouette of the place.
Just notes. Permutations of letters, words. Maybe I can better describe it in time. Belief. Accompanied by feeling. Creates. Like Shiva, the lord of destruction. Cleanse that which holds you back. As Michelangelo said, "I did not create David, I merely freed him from that marble" You... are already perfect, just take away those weights holding you back. Believe, with all your heart. Doubts weigh you down. Let go of the weights, and you are effortless. It's easy Believe, in yourself.
Updated 11-06-2019 at 07:13 AM by 96162
2019, 11-05 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes The Dark Tower: Thalmor Ambush I am in an underground passage with some other people. The passage is very small and I am feeling claustrophobic, but the other people don’t seem to think anything of it. They must be used to it. I know they have resorted to living underground like this to avoid some dangerous enemies on the surface, but I don’t want to stay here any longer. I am asking people how to get out. They finally show me the way to an exit. They are cautioning me to be careful, but I tell them I can take care of myself. I am clearly remembering my dream powers but I am not thinking about the fact it’s a dream, so I am now semi-lucid. I have to crawl through the tunnel and some thick foliage to get out. I look back to see the passage is completely hidden by thick dead looking bushes and under a rocky outcropping. I see that the rocks are not far from a beach. I head towards the waves. It is shortly after dawn and the sun is rising behind me. I see a man on the beach. I approach him, he doesn’t look good. I see it is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. He has his right hand wrapped in a bloody rag and I realize this is in the second book shortly after a lobstrosity bit two fingers off. I approach Roland. He seems unsure if I might be a mirage. I tell him I can heal the physical wounds, but the poison may still follow its course. I carefully remove the bloody rag and focus healing energy. The missing fingers regenerate slowly. Roland seems better now and more able to continue. He thanks me for my help, though he’s unsure of how I did it… the man he’s pursuing can create the illusion of healing. I say I don’t use illusion, I use the light energy. I look Roland over and I note that he has the Horn of Eld hanging around his neck. That is good, so at least there’s a chance of this not looping again. Roland is ready to continue down the beach, so I go with him. It doesn’t seem long enough before there is a door in front of us. I look at the door, expecting to see the words “The Prisoner” on it. Instead of that I see the word “Skyrim” on it. Roland asks what that means and tell him I have no clue, it’s not what I expected. The door opens and three Thalmor come through. Two are mutant Thalmor that look like the hulk, and the third one looks like he’s been assimilated by the Borg. Borg Thalmor says Roland and I are becoming a pain in the arse, how many times do we have to be sent to the start before we realize it is useless to resist? He says to give up before they make things more difficult than a simple time loop. Roland says he will never cry off. The Thalmor says he expected that response. He tells the two hulk Thalmor to see how Roland and I like having our limbs ripped off to die in our own blood. I form my arm into an Alex Mercer blade. A hulk Thalmor comes at me. My blade cuts right through his sword and through the arm wielding it. He seems to not feel any pain, but the removal of his head puts a stop to him. I then remove the head of the other one as he is approaching Roland. The door collapses and turns to dust. Roland looks annoyed. He says he now has his answer about his bullets getting wet, now there’s no way to know how many or if any of his remaining rounds will fire. I am not entirely sure what to do. Will bullets stop those weird Thalmor? Shooting them in the head should still work. But before I can do anything about giving Roland more bullets I wake up.
So for my birthday present, Ryan got me the sleep mask that I've been wanting for the last three or so years. Sleeping with it the first few nights took some getting used to, but I sleep with it every night now. LAST NIGHT I dreamed that I was clothes shopping with Ryan, but I think we were picking out outfits for someone's kid. We were in a store and we just liked everything in there except ONE thing that had too many ruffles. It was blue and yellow with a pattern of tiny flowers on it. I immediately rejected it. Ryan mentioned that she liked that most of the clothes were not "transitional" clothes, which at the time I took to mean that they were for one specific season, I think all these clothes were warm winter clothes. But now that I think of it, she could have meant that they were specifically gendered clothes, not for people who are deciding that they want to change their gender from one to another. I'm clearly getting hung up on that word "transitional." I have been thinking a lot lately about why in society as a whole we feel the need to separate masculine and feminine things. Like men's vs. women's golf clubs. (We were at Drive Shack a couple of Saturdays ago.) Like, what's the point of calling it a man's golf club? What is the real difference there? It's heavier? Longer? Just call it a long vs. short club then. It's perfectly fine if a shorter man wants to use a shorter, "woman's" club. Or if a tall woman needs to use a "man's" club. Whatever, SOCIETY! I DO WHAT I WANT!
Was lucid for half a second or couple of seconds. I was in a pilot cabin or the ground radio base with radio communications buttons all over the wall. I pressed one and a person asked something ...over I said made a mistake ...over... They didn't hang up, I got worried. Tried to talk again. stepped back and thought why am I here. Lucid I guess for a few moments and wake. ... Only remember that dream yesterday. Technically lucid in every dream!
Jamie dreams Feels like she hasn't been as active lately, But I'm still impressed I get at least one dream a week. First one happens while I fall asleep i fall into a few micro dreams of Jamie just being there with me holding my hand. Seems like she is trying to re assure me that she is still around and isn't finished with me. Second dream I am visiting a guitar teacher I use to know named Jake ( who is also a well known banjo player who is known for playing canadian festivals." But in this dream I am seated at a keyboard. He asks me what I want to learn. I have a notebook out, it says Jamie was learning this piece or something. so I try it out. but can't read the notes that well. I think it was supposed to be one of chopin's easier waltzes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN5z1mu6j4M The Drone Army I dream I somehow get captured by these Sentient drones armed with guns and lasers. they are all self aware like a hive. there is a long sequence of me trying to escape but I can't. I'm in their lair which is like a big bowl in the ground with a complex at the center. My dad tries to get me out but when I climb one of the sides one of the drones buzzes in my way. i am terrified. There is a building in the center where we are being held. Two other captives are there, a woman and a Man. Pretty sure the woman was Asuka. This dream might have been one of their dream games or something. The drones are communicating through a screen to tell us their demands. I have a feeling they will try to kill us all. At some point me and Asuka find a bed to lie down in. We start doing things under the covers. A drone flies in and starts threatening me. Data asks what it's problem is. I say it doesn't want me doing doing anything with the girl. I somehow wind up outside a house that's under construction. I see Mike from work and ask him if he knows a way out. He says try through the building. I go into the building and go in the basement to the other end. There is a woman Foreman at the construction building with some worker. I go to inspect a window to make it seem like I am working there. The man approaches me and we start talking. Outside is a staircase that leads to a road apparently in the drone's blind spot. the woman leaves the room and says, "My there are lots of workers here," I think she means me. I tell the man to just let me out of the window and I'll leave. He agrees. I wind up leaving by a green grove of trees. i' climb over a hedge and I'm now by a huge overpass. the scenery is like the road from The Canada border to Seattle in Washington. I also see train tracks, and also a train which looks like it's coming at me. It stops on the track which is covered in green vines. I keep walking and wind up on a street. I figure I am safe from the drones now. I see a whole bunch of small black birds which I at first thinks is them. They place down a nice hat on the ground, so I put it on my head. I also see G walking by, he smiles at me and then I wake up. Bjork A dream of bjork visiting me. She winds up giving me a hug, or cuddling me or something. I find it very relaxing like she is also trying to console me. In any case I am happy to hear from her. I had other dreams but completely forget what they were.
2019, 11-04 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes 2019, 11-04 Skyrim: Déjà Vu I am going down the street on my way to Windhelm in my game of Skyrim VR. I spot some special friends ahead. There are three Thalmor escorting a prisoner. I walk over to them. The lead Thalmor tells me to go away. I cut the prisoner free and give him my electric sword that I got from Balgruuf. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade. As the Thalmor attack I start with a fus, though since it’s only one word it just staggers them. The prisoner and I still make quick work of the Thalmor. I set to looting the dead Thalmor. One of them was a woman about my size, so her elven armor is now mine. It’s too bad I damaged it… The prisoner and I he will head for Windhelm. We reach Windhelm with no problems. I find the blacksmith. I ask if he can repair the armor and he says yes. I leave it with him. I have to talk to Viola Giordano, but first I have to turn subtitles on. I can’t figure out how to do that. I am distracted by Rolff harassing Suvaris. Rolff breaks off his verbal assault on Suvaris to ask what I’m staring at. He calls me an elf lover. I call him dickless. He tries to get in my face so I fus him. The loser calls for a guard and says I assaulted him. I call him dickless again. The guard asks if it’s true. I respond, “It is true… this man has no dick.” Rolff says his dick is huge. I say I’m sure it is… for a grain of rice. He tells me to take that back. The guard says we should go in opposite directions, he wants no trouble. I head to the Palace of the Kings. Ulfric is talking to Galmar about Whiterun, He says he would like to take the city with no bloodshed. He sits down on the throne. I approach Ulfric. He says he remembers me. I say yes, I was at Helgen. He says no, he remembers me from before that… or after? It’s unclear to him. He asks how many times this makes. I am quite confused now. I ask how many times for what? He asks how many times have I repeated this? He says he remembers enough to know we’ve done this before, but in Helgen I said I have done it “sooooo many times” so he is asking how many times. This has taken me by surprise, how can Ulfric remember a past game? I finally say I’ve lost count. Now things get back on track. Ulfric says I should talk to Galmar about joining the Stormcloaks. I have barely gotten out, “I can’t…” when Ulfric goes off script again. He says he remembers I won’t join unless he gives his word that all races in Skyrim will be treated equally, especially the Dunmer in the Gray Quarter. But he has heard rumors that someone there is capturing citizens of Skyrim and sending them… somewhere… to be used as slaves. Ulfric knows the Project AHO mod?! How?! He says if I investigate and find the rumor false or if I find the rumor true and put a stop to it, he will see to improvements in the Gray Quarter, he knows Brunwulf would be glad to take on the project. But he will NOT do so if there’s a chance those blasted elves are sending Skyrim citizens into slavery. He says he doesn’t have the people to investigate, but he will trust my findings. I am still trying to figure out how Ulfric can be reacting to a mod that shouldn’t affect him. A mod I don’t even have active! I tell Ulfric I don’t think anyone in the Gray Quarter is involved, there’s an Orc kidnapping people near Mixwater Mill… but if it will help things move forward then I will check. I leave the Palace of the Kings. The next normal stop I would make is High Hrothgar to see the Graybeards. But this is going strangely. I am trying to figure out what is going on when Rolff tells me to get the fuck out of his city. I tell him to cram it up his ass. I wonder what I have to do to prove that no one in the Gray Quarter is involved with slavery. Then I wonder about the guy at the Corner Club, he has clearly expressed that he doesn’t care about anyone unless they’re a Dunmer. Should I investigate that? Well I said I would… Rolff says I should get my worthless elf-loving… His interference has pissed me off. I turn around and, without thinking about it, hit him with a full three-word fus. FUS-RO-DAH! Rolff goes flying and crashes into a wall. He collapses, stunned. I am also stunned… I did a full fus! The glitch just happened a bit late! Do I still need to go to High Hrothgar? Probably. It’s getting late and I’m tired. I go to Candlehearth Hall and rent a room. I go to the room and lie down on the bed, falling asleep there and waking up here.
I am at work when I find out there has been a shooting at one of the quads. It seems to happen so quick and it feels unreal and all too real at the same time. I am either watching it on video or seeing it like a scene in a movie (or seeing it from a perspective above the ground?) The quad is in a slightly large, open area (none of the quads we really have) and the shooter is inside the quad. With a handgun he shoots down the associate Fitzie. She’s about 20 yards away but still goes down hard. Someone said Imie tried to protect her, wondering which one got hit. At one point, I see w body on the floor. I think we barely see the faint rise and fall of breath, but someone says she’s definitely gone. Later, we know for certain that she has died. I think someone mentions or comes looking for her, and I know we’ll have to break the news.
I am in some house, but it feels like I am working. It feels like I’m working because I’m about to take a lunch break. I’m going to go to this food place right across this residential street. I start out through the front yard and realize that I am barefoot. It doesn’t even bother me until I realize that they may not serve me due to health code. I look through the front window or door (the exterior looks like a house, but the interior looks something like a Qdoba) and contemplate going in, not sure they’d even notice. I notice a blonde boy behind the counter and also ample space before the counter for them to notice bare feet. I decide to just go back and put shoes on.
I am at an Oktoberfest out in the woods. It seems like a cool setting and nice weather, and I think the family is here. I think we’re showing up a little late, only because this large tent is already fairly full of people. Everyone is holding a stein or glass full of foamy, light beer. I think there is a ticket system to get the beer, and I get in line to get mine. I end up with a smaller glass that has a handle on it (it looks like a pint glass with a handle) and is filled with light beer. I’m not sure why it isn’t just a stein, and I also thought there’d be a dark beer (I think I’m thinking of a dunkel), but I take a sip and it is decent. I notice an older man with a white beard who is pouring refills before glasses are even empty. I’m now outside (it seems dark out), at a circular table with the family. Dad already has a stein going, but he mentions leaving. I think we say bye, and he says that he isn’t driving. I don’t know who would drive him. I get a refill from the ol man when I’ve only got a few sips missing, saying ‘prost’. Now, (I’m not sure if this is before or after?) I am floating above this scenery. It is a beautiful alpine forest nestled among jagged, rocky mountains that seems very remote. I am maybe 1,000 feet high, slowly drifting forward. I am awestruck, peaceful, and euphoric. I will myself to float higher and I do. I do a slow back flip and unwillingly drift back down, landing on the ground. I am in what seems like a small office in a college campus with the AAD 180 teacher Hillary Clark. I think I am taking a final. From her and my comments, it seems like I’ve got it all wrong. I think there is a question about a god-like musician, one of the options for answers being Estas Tonne. This one I know, as I really like him. I start playing some of his music on my phone. I ask her if she likes him, and she says no because it’s too slow. I mention that it can be but does get intense too. Something about riding bikes somewhere with Makayla. She doesn’t want to because it’s ‘too far’, but I’m trying to show her on a map that it’s just past somewhere we’ve already ridden to. I think this sways her opinion. I am on an asphalt path that meanders through the trees near a lake. I am on a decline right before an incline. The trees are orange and red, intense, but also somehow subdued in the cool air. There’s a gap in them, allowing a view beyond. It is so beautiful that I sit down to admire and enjoy it. I think there are people coming, but I don’t really care.
I pull into the parking lot of a shopping center that seems to be on a slight hill. This store - Walmart? - is at the top of the hill. It has a section of close parking and then more farther down. I take a left towards the closer lot even though it looks pretty full. Not that far in, I stop because I see one slanted spot open right before a backed-in truck. It looks like a man is unloading his family, but I’ve stopped at just the right distance to back in, so I do so. Inside the building, it looks more like a used book/record store. It is slightly dingy. There are bins scattered throughout without much reason as far as I can tell, so I start thumbing through a random one. There are about two employees talking to each other. The atmosphere is not exactly inviting. I know Scott works AP here and I wonder what the chances are that he’ll see me on camera. There is a separate room here, but it’s more of the same.
2019, 11-01 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes Skyrim: Dragon Falling Note: I have been including a lot more detail than I really have time for, so I will try to be a bit more succinct about my journal entries to allow for more postings. I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in Whiterun, I am here to deliver the dragonstone to Farengar. I go to Dragonsreach and go to Farengar inside. He is talking to Delphine. I comment that the warrior innkeeper is back. Delphine gives me a strange look. Farengar takes the dragonstone and then the housecarl Irileth comes in to say there’s a dragon attacking. She says Farengar and I should come. As we are leaving the room I pass by Delphine and deliberately comment, “It’s too bad we don’t have any sworn dragon slayers around…” as I look at Delphine. This gets me another strange look from her, then she hurries off. I go up to talk to Jarl Balgruuf. He says he wants me to help fight the dragon. He even gives me an electrically charged sword. I head to the Western Watchtower where the dragon is attacking. Irileth and several guards come with me. Mirmulnir is attacking the tower. I realize my new sword, or any sword, is useless. I use Battery by Metallica to call lightning down on Mirmulnir. Guards are firing arrows at the dragon. I pause to wonder how Battery is working in Skyrim when Mirmulnir targets me with a blast of fire. I stop questioning and use Whiplash by Metallica to deflect the fire back at Mirmulnir. The dragon is hit by fire and lightning at the same time and crashes to the ground. Irileth jumps onto his head and drives her sword in, killing him. For a bit I think I won’t get the energy rush as usual, but when I get closer I am able to draw the energy in. After the guards and Irileth debate if I could be dragonborn I head back to Whiterun to report success against the dragon. I hear the Greybeards call as I return to Whiterun. I tell Balgruuf that the dragon is dead and he gives me some heavy armor… I don’t use heavy armor… then I leave. I sell the armor at a local blacksmith since I never use heavy armor. Everyone is saying I should go straight to see the Greybeards, but I always head down to Windhelm after this so I can stop the serial killer there before he kills another victim. I leave Whiterun and head along the road to Windhelm. On the way I find Cicero and his broken wagon wheel. Instead of asking the farmer to help I use a Harry Potter spell, reparo, to fix the wheel myself. He does a happy dance and gives me gold before heading off. I wake up wondering how I didn’t do a reality check when I successfully used Battery and Whiplash in a game of Skyrim.
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