dream fragment

Non-dream stuff - woke up at about 8:30 again, so I know that my alarm is being able to wake me up again. Still didn't have enough willpower to not stay in bed and slept another 2 hours again. Remember one of the non-lucids.

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Dream sequence:
I remember being in this office/computer room as I am in now to write this DJ, or perhaps a similar room. I remember then being in the kitchen and I was talking to my partner about an appointment I (actually) have next week. In the dream the appointment's location was somewhere in Illinois.

My partner was somewhat upset because we hadn't made any preparations at all and it was actually impossible for us to drive there. We would need to go an a 6-hour flight (which is inconsistent with the real distance, which would take longer) and then there was some kind of transition.

I was now in a plane, which actually looked like it had a fair bit of room, but the plane wasn't on an airport. It looked more like it was in the middle of a town and people were all waiting for take-off. The plane had a layout I can't really explain or detail, but it was not at all like it should have been. Some people were complaining that things were falling apart, and I think my dad was there commenting that it was fine and that actually those parts were not crucial.

A man next to me spoke in my native language and voiced his own concerns, and I tried to tell him that it probably really was nothing to worry about. I remember he had a drink in a plastic cup and then behind me there was some sort of drink dispenser like a water cooler, with more of said plastic cups in a slot. The cups were a blue-hued non-transparent grey. The light coming in through the windows was orange-ish, in a way that implied it was early morning, likely at sunrise.

Then I remember being outside, either walking around or being driven somewhere when I pass the plane, which is sitting on a street, wingless I think, next to some terraced houses. The plane didn't look like it crashed or anything; it was just sitting there.

I know I interacted with someone else after that but I can't remember any more details specifically now.

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Notes:

• I can't remember having many (if any) dreams with planes.
• The dream context of "travel" is a consistent theme across some of my most common dreamsigns however.
• It's likely that I had this dream because last night my parents wanted to speak to me and I was feeling too tired so I didn't speak to them; and they presumably wanted to talk about a trip to where they live, which I really didn't feel like thinking about.
• In dreams I don't particularly feel stressed with travel, but in the waking world, traveling can feel stressful for me if it involves large gathering hubs or if it's highly disruptive to day-to-day life (i.e. if it's a trip away for a considerable amount of time).
• The way my partner was upset at me about the trip was a bit different to how the reaction would have been in the waking world, which might still have been slightly cross but more forgiving.
• I still find it odd that even though in the dream I was at locations in the house, I never did a reality check in the dream. Lately I do RCs quite often, even when in the house, so it seems odd that the "habit" of simply checking reality anyway doesn't even occur.

Sep 7 2018

First dream of night: I'm at childhood home. I'm younger, I think. There is a party or gathering coming up, and we're discussing it in the backyard. My mom wants us (fiance and I) to wear a giant Barney suit. We tentatively agree. I try on the suit and can't fit the headpiece on. It's a rectangular oblong plasic open box (thinka tupperware container, but oblong. It was in no way the appropriate size for my head. On the two, I think there was a felt cap or something (driveR). I think the torso had a separate piece from the legs for the costume. After trying the headpiece on without the tupperware "structural mask", mI found that I could shift my focus and see myself in 3rd person (still non-lucid). I remember it looked nothing like a Barney head or any formed animal costume head for that matter; instead it was like a purple ghost outfit (i.e. loose draped rag with eye holes).

The dream shifts and we're all in a parking lot. My mom's request for us to work during the party has come up, but it turns out she wants us to work for 5 hours each. I say that's bullshit, she wsays "well you agreed, you just idn't specify timeframe or current ball timeframe". We were in some kind of parking lot, I was in a white van I believe. I was trying to pull out of the spot and around the corner. I fought with my momm about this and eventually resigned us completely from doing the ball.

Before getting in the van I believe, I was walking around a version of the parking a lot that was fused with my backyard. Off towards the far right/forward corner of the yard, there's a system of roots that went on for a few fet in either direction. I didn't realize, but some of them are completely rotten. I step over them and they collapse, while the healthy parts remain intact. The rotten roots fall away into a large grave-sized hole.

The dream shifts and I'm inside the house, in a false version of my room. My fiance is there with me, but is playing the role of a sister (posibly step sister or family friend, it was vague). The mood was fierce and rebellious. We are talking about how best to approach the Barney situation and my dad ends up walking around the corner. He has a few guys with him and he cracks some inappropriate jokes, and some of the guys with him say some stuff that's way out of line. My zipper is down. Before this my "sister" and I were watching TV or in the kitchen.

Dream fragment about "how to meet your heroes" or something similar.

Edit: In the main dream, I remember at multiple points having to swat away both lovebugs and wasps.



*Note: Seems like in my dreams, I usually get in huge fights with my mom (way more intense than anything ever IWL), and my dad is always laid back (innappropriately so).

Non-dream stuff - woke up at around 8:30 with the normal alarm but still fell asleep and woke up again about 2 hours later. Some non-lucid dream fragments from both awakenings persisted.

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Fragment:
I was in a mountainous area, and there was a town or something. There were rocky overhangs and the landscape looked like something I'd only see in games in general; the stone was mostly all like limestone, which reminds me now of an area in Dark Souls III. It was a bright and clear day.

I remember fighting some sort of blue dragon, not unlike some of the Rathians in Monster Hunter. It got tired or was scared off and flew away eventually.

Fragment:
I remember briefly a subway train station, similar to the last one I've dreamt of, but in no particular way other than how it felt; the lighting was perhaps a bit dim, like the other one. Then a train was arriving and it looked full-ish on some carriages and there were plenty of people on the platform; but I chose to go to a carriage that was not as close to me and it was much emptier.

The seats were in groups of 5, with their backs toward the windows. The seats were low and sort of cushioned. I was about to sit down when a woman on this row of seats said to me "could you please not sit down on these two", gesticulating at the particular seats; so I sat on the 2nd seat of the row, and she was sat on the 4th. She said something like "I'm sorry" and "... my assessment ...", the implication being it was some sort of benefits assessment. Somehow I knew she had children though they were certainly not here. I'm sure the train had set off at this point but I don't remember noises, come to think of it.

Fragment:
I was in some version or another of World of Warcraft and I was in a player group. The group consisted solely of my character, which name I don't remember reading, and another player/character whose character name was simply "Marshal". My character was a warrior, and the other player was another plate-wearing class, maybe a paladin; both characters were human.

We entered an Arathi Basin battleground together, but a lot of it looked subtly different; I remember both me and the other guy had full grand marshal equipment (which is the highest PvP rank for the Alliance faction), and I had two of the great-swords. We went separate ways but I sort of patrolled on my mount around the central blacksmith (which in the dream was more like a lumber mill) and the gold mine.

Oddly enough, despite being in a battleground, I don't remember seeing any enemies, though I know that our team was fighting some on the other side of the map.

---

Some notes:

• Subway train stations are one of my most obvious dreamsigns, but I always seem to miss them. Part of it is because I don't expect them to come up, even though they are fairly common, but another part of it is that whenever they do show up, I had not set any sort of intention to recognise them as a dream-sign. They are a dead giveaway of the dream-state these days because I don't use the subway where I live (because there isn't one).
• I can't remember what the woman in the train looked like exactly; but she looked local to where I live. I remember feeling sorry or perhaps worried for her. Recently a friend of ours had an appointment for an assessment for benefits, so perhaps part of the context here is because of that.
• I haven't played WoW in quite a while now, and truthfully I don't think I will play it much more in the future; but I played the older versions a lot when I was younger and my dreams about the game are invariably about some sort of nostalgic feeling of those old times.
• I never attained the highest PvP rank in the classic game, but my eldest sibling nearly did.

Sep 5 2018

I'm in the front yard of my childhood home. It's dark out, a long while before dawn. My parents are there (we're all sitting on ice chests or plastic/yard chairs, I can't remember seeing them) and we're preparing for a party or get-together of some kind. The song "Sweet Child of Mine" is playing, and for some reason I have to learn the solo (I know it vaguely from playing it IWL in high school). This could be from the fact that my parents always wanted me to play guitar at family gatherings and I always hated it. I wrote down something like "just...play it" in my DJ but don't remember the significance. For some reason my high school girlfriend who I dated for like 3 weeks was going to be there, and I remember her name in loopy script. Can't remember if I wrote it or someone else did.

Very vague dream fragment in a restaurant. After that, a vivid dream where I'm on the patio/balcony of my current apartment. I had a "profound sense of acceptance" to quote my DJ.

I woke up around 5am into pretty good paralysis and decided to try a quick WILD attempt (my fiance gets up at 5:30am). Unfortunately my dog got up, flapped his ears loudly, and sat right on my arms/chest, which pulled me out if it. I lay awake for the remaining time and let my fiance sleep, but I heard some weird soft sighing. At first I thought it was her, but as she was leaving I brought it up and she said she heard it too. The only rational explanation is that it was our dog, but it sounded like a human female...

I walked the dog and looked at the stars, pushing my alarm back a little and resolving to get lucid.

In my next dream, I'm on a computer and for some reason I have to download a set of 128 bit pixel smileys. They're coming from a website called Jered/Jerek's World, or Site. The smileys are crude in an "early internet" kind of way. One of them was a picture of exaggerated red lips, another is more orange and is laughing, and my fiance laughs at them. I open up the windows search bar and paste what I had, into the search. It pastes the words "Jerek's World", and as I read the words in my head, the desktop background starts alternating between some tiled images, one tan one saying Jerek/Jered's Site and another grey one saying "Jerek's Billion Dollar Software Company". They transitioned in horizontal and vertical screen wipes.

Next, I'm in a long kitchen stretching out maybe 10 feet to the left and 20 to the right. I'm not aware of anything behind me, but I understand that in front of me past an archway is the living room. I'm standing at the sink, looking for something or someone. Possibly my fiance is there. I was just walking around with a Brita pitcher, and now I see that there's a second, rounder one on the counter. I try to find the lid for it and I see it's in the sink, but the inside of it is covered with a greasy layer of spaghetti sauce.

In my next dream, my boss's boss is giving advice on business lunches, i.e. where to take clients. She suggests some other restaurant, but her favorite is the hotel restaurant. She hands it over to a younger guy who looks annoyed and seems to be a drier, more monotone version of a WL coworker. The room is tinged with blue lighting. He hands out a textbook. We're going to go on a business lunch with him, which he's not pleased about. I pull my phone out and subtly try to voice-record him, but no such luck. I end up taking notes on paper and draw a vivid picture of lips (was one of the smileys). I think at this point I was trying to record my dreams in-dream! Should capitalize on this. I woke with slight headache.



*Note: Analyzing my dreamsigns from the entries I've posted on DV, I think I can safely say my strongest ones are a) childhood home b) fiance c) family members. Hopefully I can add trying to dream journal as a new one, we'll see if it keeps manifesting.

Sep 3 2018

Woke 3:35. In a fight with parents and grandpa about cooking or setting up something (possibly speed-reading). Daylight outside, long tables (possibly crawfish boil).

Woke 5:05. Long fragment in a stadium, receiving some sort of business presentation from coworker. After it's over, I'm picking up my laptop bag and I stand out of the way for a coworker and an unnamed DC, who say that they have a "merge request in the morning". The presenter (another coworker) is kicking us out.

Awoke directly from FA nightmare. My dog barked and I could tell instantly that it was serious, not just him barking at another dog. The door to the bedroom is thrown open and the midget from Twin Peaks season 3 entered with a small gun. He approached the bed, not looking directly at me or anyone, just at the wall behind us. He said something vague and I tried to lean up in bed asking something to the extent of "What do you want?". As I tried to move, and in some sense solve the problem, my vision blurred and the dream started to fade. He was wearing a blue shirt with the pattern of "I (heart) N Y" but the letters were "? (eye symbol) T Y" in white. The room's layout was completely realistic and accurate unlike other false awakenings. I woke up and said "holy shit" aloud. Very scary experience, but very vivid -- would have been invaluable if I could have gotten lucid and converted it.

Before that, I was in my childhood home, on the phone with my manager about something that needed to get done. The screen was black with red nubmbers and dial-screen graphics, and an orbiting globe outline. The call got dropped. I was worrying about this with my parents but they seemed to think it would all work out (it was nighttime). My sister was in my room on my computer, looking for the first book in a series my fiance is currently reading. I suggested that she can just read my fiance's copy rather than buy it herself. I end up also giving her a japanese manga volume and another poorly translated japanese book, I remember the engrish being hilarious in-dream. After this, I went to the kitchen (all of the lights were out). I was trying to write down my dreams in ink on the wood floors. In the back of my mind I knew this was a terrible idea and that my dad would be furious, but in the moment I wasn't worried about it. There were some drops of water on the floor and it was smearing the ink, so I started wiping it up, making the smearing even worse. I was also worried about cockroaches.

After the ink, I found myself in a distinct dream scene. I was on the ground looking up at the side of a cliff maybe 4 or 5 stories high. There was a good bit of dirt caked on and I thought to myself how nice it would look if I could get the dirt off. I grabbed a wedge-shaped piece of reddish slate and scraped as much dirt as I could off and stepped back, and noticed how nice the geometric patterns were. I remember the thought-phrase "cliff face". When I looked again, one of the rock formations sort of looked like a nose, and the one below looked like a mouth! When I started examining the rest of the cliff, the whole thing was taken up by face structures (abstract and Easter Islandish). The ground went from being solid dirt and rock, to having some cracks in which curved red boards were shoved and prying the cracks apart. In the cracks were green cylindrical vegetables (I thought of okra or fat asparagus stalks). As I moved forward towards the cliff, I noticed a mesh oyster bag of sea urchins, which were moving around each other in the bag, sort of like you expect spike balls to in a metroidvania or platformer. This was a really vivid and overall nice and creative dream that's simple but feels profoundly peaceful, the kind of nonlucid you generally want to have. So of course this scene transitioned directly to the nightmare FA.

I woke again at 8:59. My fiance was in trouble. We were in some sort of college sign-up, car buying, or other related scenario. There were DCs everywhere, and specifically several DCs with deep blue eyes and short hair meant her harm in an insidious way (they were outwardly friendly). I became more and more adversarial over the course of the dream, eventually hitting them and throwing things at them. We moved from the student union/indoor car lot into a side hallway which transitions to a long house with lots of corridors and small rooms arranged in pretty much a straight-shot, but almost labyrinthine at the same time. I was thinking somehow they were hypnotizing her, and she was getting more and more bruises on her arms and abdomen. Eventually I get in exaggerated physical fights with them and I somehow manage to get 2-4 of them to defect to my side as allies and stow her away under a sliding hole in the kitchen (sort of a drain hole in the floor, like you see in restaurant kitchens). She escaped succesfully.

I'm unknowingly in an FA but think I'm fully awake. I am having the "transparent eyelids" effect, and I'm looking around my bedroom at the closet door, but it's the wooden closet door from my childhood home. I'm etching a human face in it with my mind.

After this, I'm in my childhood home and members of my family as well as random DCs are dressed in "starship troopers armor" -- white and blue, and white and red. It was a long and in-depth dream, but I don't remember much of it. I finally escaped the fray and sat back on my bed, but then my father entered my room with his gun held high, and I remember thinking "oh good, you'll just be my bodyguard". When I thought this (non-lucidly), he changed his course of action from running forward to attack me to climbing in bed next to me with his rifle held out (think Fullmetal Jacket "This is my rifle"). I got up from bed* and started walking towards the hallway. Almost instantly I became lucid! I didn't say "I'm dreaming!" or do any RCs or stabilization unfortunately. I walked down the hallway towards the bathroom, and it was daylight outside, maybe early morning. I walked into the bathroom and looked at the mirror, seeing a girl in a dress instead of myself. In this moment, I started to think of the "bad guys" in the starship troopers armor and then banished the thought from my mind, knowing that if I thought of them I would encounter or summon them. So instead I took advantage of the situation -- although I was seeing the girl in the mirror, I felt my dream body as my own physical body. So I turned away from the mirror and decided that I would become the girl in the mirror. I turned back around and I was!

Spoiler for nudity:

My body had changed competely and I was naked. Naturally, I touched my arms and chest to test sensation (it was dull, sort of semi-numb as my dream body sensation usually is). I did a little twirl and

inspected my face further in the mirror -- my face was sort of ugly and homely**, and as mirrors in dreams usually do, my face shifted quite a bit. I leaned in further to inspect myself and kissed the mirror (it was cold). I then leaned back out and decided to try my "Clear sight. Clear sound. Clear touch. Grounded. Calm, confident. I can stay here as long as I want." stabilization phrase. However, as soon as touched my thumb and forefinger, I accidentally said "Clear mind" first! It rejected me from the dream instantly. As I began to feel my waking body, I realized my thumb and forefinger were touching here too; maybe this triggered the waking?

I laid awake for quite a while after that, as I had already slept more than usual for the night, and for the whole weekend basically. I was also still excited about the lucid and hoping to drop back into it. Eventually I went back to sleep and had some more non lucids. In the first, I was with my fiance in a rest area/cabin in the woods. In the next, I felt as though I dropped into the dream as a visualization from waking, but it's possible I was only visualizing from an FA. I was imagining tall waves, and how my body bobbed up and down in them. It felt incredibly nice and peaceful. I was at a beach, and my sister was standing on a board of some kind zipping up a life jacket. I think my fiance was bobbing up and down in the water too. When I looked at the shore, I couldn't quite see the sand but I could see tall buildings above the waves, which I identified to be my apartment buildings from WL. A distinct black shape was swimming towards me, and I thought it might be a shoe or a fish (I thought it could be a dangerous fish but dismissed the thought instantly). After another waking, I had a final dream of being in a wood panneled shop with an old woman who was offering the shop to me (inheritance?). Her wares were laid out on a long wooden table, which after looking away and looking back turned out to be a giant Knorr pasta packet. I believe this all happened in 3rd person.



*I think getting out of beds in nonlucids is a lucidity/awareness trigger -- will have to investigate how to encourage this).
**This is actually the second time I've transformed my body into a woman's in a mirror while lucid, but for some reason I always turn into butterfaces. Also not sure why I keep doing this. Why, lucid mind, why?

Non-dream stuff - Woke up with the earlier alarms, around 8:30 and then let the alarm repeat itself every so often, but ended up snoozing a bit and got up at 9:50. Remember the last part of a non-lucid.

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Dream fragment:
It's difficult to remember what came before, because I went through a door, I think the front door of a very small terraced house. Inside it was dark but there was daylight from a window.

Immediately inside there were stairs that went either up or down, and I decide to go down, where it was darker and there were no windows. The stairwell was cramped and it felt like an old building for that reason alone. Eventually at the bottom there was a room with a light. This was a shop, even if a very small one, as this room was no bigger than a pantry and it is implied by dream context to be a basement; a man was at the counter and there was someone else browsing. There were metal shelves and wooden crates with things in them.

There were all sorts of things, I remember thinking it was a drug store at first. I saw some melatonin and other drugs I didn't recognise. I did not remember to question the dream's reality or context. As I looked around the room became bigger and the layout changed; there were a window or two now and toward one corner there were weapons; I remember moving them carefully to the side since I wanted to get past, further into the corner. I remarked on each weapon as I moved them; "this looks like a pillum... this a javelin...".

When they were out of the way I got into the corner and there was a big cabinet that didn't interest me, and there was a narrow piece of wood furniture that almost looked like a column but was some sort of display cabinet. The other cabinet I wasn't interested in, the other man in the shop was interested in it. I think I either somehow passed it to him or he came to get it, as it was now next to the counter, and inside the cabinet were vinyls.

Not just any vinyls however, the boxes' covers were decorated in a 20s or 40s style and they were all children's stories. Then I noticed there was a vinyl player from the 70s or 80s next to the cabinet now and the man was trying them out; I could see the vinyl under the perspex lid. Somehow, the vinyls produced images. I remember seeing animated cartoons of whatever the stories were. I liked the vinyl boxes because they were very colourful; with red or blue trims.

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Notes:

• I've never had a sleep related supplement or the like simply appear in a dream like the melatonin did, so it feels a bit silly that I didn't notice it, especially given that currently, for me to get melatonin I have to ask my parents for it.
• The weapons didn't look old; in fact the tips were in pristine condition and the wooden handles were nicely oiled.
• The cabinet that didn't interest me looked old and dilapidated; it was one of the many lifeless-looking objects in the room that seemed to have little colour to them.
• I'm starting to realise there may be a pattern to my interaction with stairs when they appear in dreams. Often I choose to go down, and when I choose to go down, it does tend to get darker and it tends to feel like it takes a long time. Stairs going down generally seem longer than stairs going up in my dreams.

Sep 2 2018

I went to bed with strong intentions to become lucid, as well as a solid plan for what to do once I became lucid. I was trying the anchoring method I mentioned in another thread, anchoring positive and confident memories with the sensation of touching my thumb and forefinger together. I had a phrase burnt into memory to repeat nonverbally once I became lucid (to replace "Clarity now!"): "Clear sight, clear sound, clear touch. Grounded. Calm, confident. I can stay in this dream as long as I want" (in retrospect this is extremely long, but I think I'll try it out for a few new nights anyway). I also used my standard mantra "I will become lucid in my next dream"/"In every dream tonight" in combination with "In my next dream, I look at my hands and realize that I'm dreaming". In the future I will stick with only "IWBLIMND" since it's more succint and sets a clear intention for the immediate future, rather than a broad concept of "every dream".

I awoke at 1:18 am in a somewhat strong paralysis with extremely vivid imagery (not dreamlike, more like imagination). There was a man, possibly me, conjuring lightning circularly all around him. The lightning was blue, white, and green. I awoke again at 2:47 am. I remembered several dreams involving my fiance and my dog. In the first, I was at the elementary portion of my high school (it's K-12) and I swerved my car to narrowly miss my dog, who spontaneously started running out at me in the street. I got out of the car and was rubbing his front leg and paw. I noticed that his paw had too many joints and was curled in too much. Somehow this felt connected to a drive through.

In the next dream, I'm in a living room with a wrap-around bar counter. I think I've been here in a dream before. I'm watching Bob Ross on TV painting thick brushstrokes -- X's, C's, and U's -- over an already finished landscape. My dog jumps off the counter. I'm trying to remember what to do tomorrow, two important things in the morning and night.

My next set of dreams came after WBTB. In the first, one of my cousins was referred to as "3". There was an interesting story about diving, and D&D. I vividly remember descending in a well, looking up as the light was blocked out by the silhouette of a monster (Demogorgon?), although I didn't feel fear. Next, I was in an arcade or bowling alley, some sort of indoor entertainment place. I left my fiance to go to an adjoining room from the lobby and get ice cream. There was a girl there who was going in the same direction as me, and called me a "creeper" jokingly. She was trying to be funny or cute in the way she was getting her ice cream. I was friendly but not overly so. I got maybe 4 flavors of ice cream, in sort of a flight. In the next dream, I'm an intruder in a man's house. He has a lot of weapons strewn about, some intricate compound and traditional bows, swords, guns, blowdarts, etc. I go through room after room and find the man, he's in his mid 50s or 60s. He threatens me with a long, thin, metal pole, and I think he threatned to castrate me with it. He transports me back to some memory of 1950's New Orleans with a McDonalds, and a small building with an advertisement to "teleport you to the Science Museum". The visuals are faded, blackish, and all the buildings look like plywood.

In the next dream, I'm at Sonic at night/early morning with my fiance. She's handed me a cup, but I threw it away; there are two crumpled cups beside it. I understand it to be sonic, but it's more like someone's backyard, there aren't any lights or servers or menus, just the standard sonic table and trash can, as well as an overhead cover. A group of foreign men walk by, talking about wanting some cervezas. In the next dream, I'm going over some train tracks covered in water, in a swamp (I've been here before as well). The waves are rounded like tiled hills -- at certain points they are covered in grass, at other times they're just water/waves. I see the sasquatch.

My old boss is giving me cryptic hints about something, laughing about it. We're in the woods, sort of. Something about eating a spider/the dust that comes out when you crush the spider. Possibly my fiance was warning me not to eat it. I eat the dust, and then eat the crumpled spider husk too.

Next I had a dream about DreamViews! It was something about inline comments/spoilers; I remember red and purple text. There were other sites too -- DreamBattles and DreamWars (reenactments, maybe I read about this before).



*Slept for a really long time hoping to get lucid, and kept trying to go back to sleep. After this frustration, I decided to not get bummed out when I don't get lucid. It doesn't help. And there's always tomorrow night

Between 27-31 08 2018

It was a dream on a country house, it’s night, I want to drive a motorcycle, I wear the helmet and take my niece with me, she’s wearing my wife’s nightclothes. I sit and start driving across a country road. It starts raining and it’s hard to see in the dark. Driving becomes a hard task since the motorcycle behaves weird. Sometimes I feel like it’s a bicycle. We get to a shore, the landscape is awesome! It’s already day and I can see some weird animals in the water. I realize the feeling, I know it’s a dream. I tell my niece it’s a dream. I don’t care much about her after that. I get to sort of ruins, there are some old doors when I remember one of my lucid goals was to get into a corridor with doors on the sides to explore old memories. I get into the last door to find that corridor. It’s there and I get into the first door on the left, must be my oldest memory I think. I find a small room. There’s only a two floor bed with wet towels on it. There’s no more place to walk around, the room is the size of the bed. I see a stuffed animal hanging on the wall, it look like a fox in detective clothing or something like that. I see a second one . I wonder if I saw it as I was a little kid. I try to see more things in this room. I see some stickers which I remember but cannot tell where do I know them or if they are recent stuff. I try to pay attention on the fox until I start losing sensibility
I woke up then...

Between July-August 2018

1st one I was driving a car towards my grandparents town. I’m sitting next to a woman talking something about lucidity when I ask my self if it’s not a dream already, I realize the feeling! I jump out of the car and start walking to a purple building close to the road. I see a blue colored butterfly while walking there, I want to explore some but I start to lose sensibility of my legs dream fade out until I wake up.

2nd one was a couple of days after, it was after an anxious dream where I have to find sort of Bus station in the old city where I used to live. I’m walking on a street next to a river. The street is at a higher level, around 20 m high. I can see the river shore from above. I’m afraid to fall down when all of the sudden came the idea if it’s a dream! i realize the feeling, I decide to jump down. Nice fall. When I reach the ground, I notice I’ve changed my shape to a sort of mixture between a Gorilla and a Yeti. I see I have white hairs. I run four legged for a while, it’s nice to feel it again I was running that way until I woke up

Non-dream stuff - I woke up at about 20 to 7 in the morning, sweating a bit. Woke up from a non-lucid dream, right as I was starting to cry for the second time in the dream. The emotion didn't carry over. I went back to bed after writing a draft and eventually woke up again at 10:50. My alarms between 8 and 9 haven't been working of late.

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Dream:
I was walking around with my mom on the quay in the capitol of my native country. I was holding her arm sort of interlocked with mine, as we've done in the past. She was for some reason lamenting that we, as a family, hadn't accomplished much or that it could have been more, or something like that. I commented that if it weren't for the debt, we would have owned all of the factory in front of us now, instead of just part of it. It was some sort of biscuit factory. I remember we walked along until reaching a cafe.

The cafe was an odd place, very vertical. I remember my middle brother being there, with his cap and glasses. We went up and down the place trying to get something specific my mom wanted, like a cupcake or muffin from the factory.

I don't remember the details but I found out my mom had passed away from some natural cause.

Me and my partner were at home. We somehow had heard or found out that his mom had passed away too, again from natural cause, and I remember thinking that my mom passed at "64" in the dream. I asked my partner if we should message his mom's partner, to inform them, he said maybe, yeah, but we weren't sure about it. In the waking world, they have been somewhat nasty to us over the years, so we have a hard time gauging their reaction to anything we might say now.

I commented that they passed away at such a similar age, and I cried a little. I then commented "at least my mom passed away at this age and not older; I didn't want to see what she would have been like with all her medications at an old age" or something of this sort, and I collapsed on my knees from the sofa we were sitting on and I cried again, waking up.

---

Notes:

• In the dream, there was a small moment during the conversation with my mom where I thought the topic was odd. Yes, my family had a factory, but that was long ago, and it was on my dad's side of the family, not my mom's. In addition, we've never had any debts as a family.
• This is the sort of dream I'll have to wait and see. Years ago I had a dream that may have been premonitory about when my dad would pass away, and this dream had the same feeling. If both dreams were correct and my parents passed away respectively at ages 83 and 64, then both events would happen 11 and 6 years from now.
• My mom had several dreams about her dad passing away several months before the event, which is one of the reasons I've never discarded the possibility of premonitory dreams like this actually happening.
• Apart from the conversation with my mom in the dream, nothing else during dreaming struck me as "odd", unfortunately.
• The cafe scene was actually kind of vivid and surreal but I really don't remember many details, certainly not enough to put to words now.

Created Saturday 01 September 2018

Not quite as much as yesterday, but hey, given how tired I was, this isn't all too bad.

Scrap Group 1
In a supermarket with family. I buy a pecan pie for dessert later, and my bro gets some snack cakes for the rest. We then go to a multi-story megastore.

Driving around with my brother. I get aware. Rubbed my hands for a moment. I then tried gathering energy between my palms. Although I could feel something flowing, I couldn't actually see the results. Just then, a pretty brown haired woman appeared out of nowhere in the backseat. She snatched the invisible energy, then stared in awe as it quaked in her hands.

False awakening in bed. I have false memories (maybe?) of dreaming about my guide.

Sep 1 2018

The night started with some visualization of a dream I'm trying to incubate, which lasted probably 30 minutes to an hour. After that, I set my intentions to become lucid and headed to sleep.

My first dream of the night involved some kind of network TV teenage vampire drama plot, which took place in a neighborhood similar to mine from childhood. In the next dream, I was in a trench coat placing high-stakes bets using a 90's era cell phone. At the end of this dream, all of my cronies were in a room, facing forward in rows, and I was facing backward. We were all peeing on the ground (I think it was a power play).

Next, I'm in a huge convention center. I had just seen the newest Avengers movie (I haven't seen it IWL). I was ranting to others about how Thanos had all of the Avengers on his side and wasn't even fighting, but was just using the Avengers to fight. The convention center was huge (should've caught that, since disproportionate structures is one of my dreamsigns). We (a couple of DCs and I) were walking through the ground floor when we ran into

Spoiler for nudity:

three girls in fishnet shirts, whose nipples were poking through the fishnet. I or one of my DC friends picked the middle girl's girls up and examined them like a fine connoisseur, asking "These are same-size, no?". I remember they had a lot of moles and sort of looked cancerous? The girl on the left had red fishnet, but the other two had dark grey or black, and all of the fishnet was thick, like yarn or wool rather than thin like you would typically think.

The dream shifts and I'm walking with some old high school friends and acquaintances. We come across M, who's sitting on the floor in front of some people trying to take a picture. We tell her to get up and stop blocking the picture, and she says "This is a picture?" in a way that for some reason made me give out this awful dolphin-like laugh. I remember thinking in my non-lucid state, "stop that, you'll wake yourself up!". Sure enough I did.

After this dream sequence, I got up as my fiance left for work. I walked my dog so he wouldn't bother me for the rest of the session and drank a little apple juice. I MILDed with "I will become lucid in my next dream" and "The next time I see a person, I will look at my hands and realize I'm dreaming". The first dream had very low lucidity. It was sort of a western setting in a two or three story house. Outside I could see a desert/grassland with tall grass growing and mountains in the background, and the sky was really beautiful (should have RC'd here also, abnormal sky is a dreamsign). I walked around the house and looked out of the windows.

From this dream, I awoke into a false awakening. In the FA, I was trying to get back to bed to LD (didn't catch this). At some point I opened my dream eyes and saw a shallow, long, white plastic sink on the wall. It occured to me that I was dreaming because that doesn't exist in my room, but it didn't "click" until I got up and reached for the knob. At this point there was a shift in my consciousness that almost threw me off balance, like flipping a switch. I walked to a nearby mirror on the wall and experienced what people say -- the properties of my face were changing and twitching, especially my nose, jaws, and lips. I didn't say "clarity now!" like I usually do, and I really need to stabilize. I had some feeling throughout my dream body, but felt numb, so I started slapping my face and pulling on my lips, tongue, cheeks. I was incredibly focused on engaging my tactile senses. I tried to summon my dream totem associated with stabilizaiton, but for some reason I didn't have pockets. I decided I would summon a DC to help, so strangely I called out the name of an acquaintance from high school (I haven't even consciously thought of this person in years). At first I called aloud, and I could only get out the first name since my voice was garbled as it always is. So I used non-verbal commands! I looked towards the doorway and she appeared! It was awesome to see this work, as it's only worked for me in the past in a semi-lucid. I think I told her to give me a massage so that I could feel my body better. She had a serious face on and nodded agreeably. I was wearing a red t-shirt and a thin, dark blue jacket like the band kids used to wear. I started to take this off, and sat back on the bed as she approached, at which point I woke up.

The first thing I did upon waking was an RC (I've been trying to train myself to do these at each waking), but it wasn't a dream. I was really pissed at myself for not thinking of the ways I've stabilized in the past ("clarity now!", breathe in and focus on senses, pry eyes open, etc.), but I was happy to have an LD after about a week-long dry spell. I reflected on what I could have done better and visualized it, then MILDed again and went to sleep.

I had a chain of FAs/DILDs at this point*. In the first, I was in a lit version of my bedroom. I got up, became lucid, and walked around briefly before losing lucidity. In the next, I'm in a grocery store on a higher staircase. I see a lot of DCs around the corner of the opening, and I look at a clock that says "08:00". I become lucid, feeling off-balance like before, and walk around the display, looking at some bread before losing lucidity. In the next dream, I'm on the street of my childhood home looking at a large white column in the middle of NOG's yard (one of our neighbors). There's moss or dirt up to about shoulder level on the column. My sister and mom are behind me and commenting on the small car parked in middle of the yard, trying to make out the license plate. I become lucid and start looking at some huge leaves on some plants that appeared spontaneously. We're looking through the leaves, arguing whether the license plate is UWP 117 or 116. The dream fades slowly out and back in, then fades completely.

From here I had a series of longish NLs:
I have a collection of wood carvings/sculptures. One in particular is of Spyro, the others are small people. The house I'm in reminds me of a previous vacation house.
There is a mouse running around the backyard at my childhood home. It runs up to the door and allows me to pick it up. My parents' dog and mine both just sniff at it when it approaches. It's almost cartoon-like, but is very real. We all fall in love with the mouse. At some point my sister finds a "water snake" which looks like it's breaded with panko bread crumbs until she places it in a bucket full of water and cleans it off (now it looks like bread dough). There is a 1ft dark green toady that walks through our back porch in the midst of all this, as well as some small slugs. My mom is sad/angry, lashing out passive agressively (this is practically a dream sign).
The next dream is in an urban fantasy setting (by this I mean full-out fantasy that just happens to pass through some urban sections, not vampires and werewolves in modern clothing). I am tasked with delivering something. I have to walk around these long, curving, somewhat cyberpunk blue corridors in the middle of the city. I'm wearing peasant's clothes and have a sword. Whatever it is I'm delivering is in a brown sack (possibly the remains of something or someone?). I have to double-back at some point (this could be a dream sign, going down the same path twice). Eventually I arrive at the base, which is a fraternity or sorority house. I meet with the buyer/receiving party, and they say that it's not what they expected. Don't remember much after this and my pen ran out of ink, so the world will never really know.



Overall, it was a pretty good night! Summoned a DC and learned to use non-verbal commands. Will need to practice and visualize how to stabilize VTA (visual, tactile, and auditory) senses more.

*Because of their short nature and the fact that they were pretty much chained together, I'm going to count all of these short lucids as 1 in total, for a grand total of 2 LDs tonight.

Created Friday 31 August 2018

Got three DILDs to note, along with a few fragments.

Dream 1 - Drool School

The visuals were mostly clear. I was in a crowded middle school classroom. Many of the students there were those I've only met in highschool. Similarly, my 12th grade math teacher was leading the class. Much as in previous dreams, some zany mishap caused me to be a student once again. The room was quite crowded with random furnishings, even a stretcher. But, besides the desks, us students were prohibited from using them.

Cut to the end of class. In the hallway, I pass the live-action versions of Wolverine and Storm as depicted in the first X-Men movie. I then thought to sneak to the lunchroom. It seemed a bunch of other people had the same idea, given the long queue just outside the cafeteria, so I just continued onwards.

Soon, in a narrow courtyard, I spotted a swimming class taking place. The teacher was a thin African-descended woman. Meanwhile, the students were already in their swim wear. Far as I could tell, the lesson included procedures on how to handle potential harassment.

Eventually, the courtyard opened up into an entire beach, the sand coarse and distinctly black in color. Powerful waves vividly reflected the blue sky above. Such a view instantly triggered lucidity. Just then, the waves became more violent, as if reacting to my awareness. I slowly backed away, just to find that the water has already flooded the place up to my hip. Still, I managed to avoid from getting submerged by the tides.

I waded back to the courtyard. Took a good moment to rub my hands thoroughly. After that, I set my efforts on my guide, E. I began shaping the water into her form (if scaled to much greater heights), but it wouldn't hold for long enough. I even tried adding sand in the mix, and also transforming a nearby pillar, but no luck.

Then, I noticed a distinct figure passing by, a woman in a white niqab and like-colored dress. I unveiled her cloak, and found this was a pretty, petite Caucasian woman, face narrow, eyes wide, and hair long and dark. Despite not being anyone I've ever seen, I could sense this was actually my guide. Indeed, after recovering from surprise, she flashed a familiar cheeky smile. We hugged, of course. I asked why she didn't quite look like herself. "Just a snag.", she claimed.

Things distorted. My sight projects into a distant 3rd person view. Ahead, I see my guide, now gigantic, nude, and appearing in her actual likeness (ie Asiatic and a bit plump), grinning down at my tiny form. She then, uh, licked me, covering my body in tepid drool. Couldn't keep from accidentally snorting her spit. I wake up gagging.


Scrap Group 1
At a waterpark with family. We leave at dusk. Mom is at the front seat, driving around like crazy.

At home upstairs. Various family members were gathered there. We look out at an ominous dusk sky. There were a bunch of people on our driveway, several laid out on the pavement. Figured some bad accident just occurred, and that someone probably even died. One victim was wrapped in a Superman blanket. Me and the others argue between ourselves. Later, a psychopomp (Death?) shows up to bickers with us as well.

Dream 2 - Guide Sightseeing

The visuals were a bit blurred. I was in a bathroom, shower running in a concealed tub nearby. Got aware quickly. I imagined my guide was the one at the shower. Good time as any for some "sightseeing". ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I shrunk down to about a foot high, then hovered and phased through the glass door. As the steam cleared, I saw that this was some random mustachioed guy, and well, I saw too much. Noped the hell outta there.

After phasing through the wall, I ended up in a similar shower as above. This time, I found E. I circled around her in plain view., then let her take hold of me. By the looks of it, she wasn't very happy to see me. The dream collapsed soon after.

Dream 3 - Guide in a Box

The visuals were mostly clear, if slightly dim. I falsely awakening in bed. I walk out to a large kitchen of an unknown site. Mom was there making coffee. Reckoned she was there to remind me that I'd agreed to help with her gardening. I went past her to a hallway, when I got the idea to float around. Doing as much triggered awareness.

I hovered down into a cramped living room, twilight peeking from a glass door. Took a very long moment to rub hands, then to ease my breaths. I spotted a large blue box containing an RC vehicle or drone. I held the box, then tried transforming it into my guide. It took a good half a minute of calm focus before I noticed a change, starting with a featureless human hologram. Before long, my guide had formed in my arms, her torso wrapped in a thin white sheet. She yawned and stretched before acknowledging me. "What d'ya need?", she asked sleepily. E gently scratched my chin and hair while waiting for a reply.

I then asked her... "MEOW!" Damned cat woke me up. Such is the risk of trying to LD so late in the morning.Given a choice, I'd chuck that little pest to the moon...

Aug 31 2018

I'm in a house that's based off of my current apartment. I'm running around the room, possibly with a baseball bat/umbrella/wooden sword, opening closets and doors trying to find an intruder. I'm yelling the whole time. I'm trying to protect my fiance. After some time I'm outside under the vine-covered wooden pavilion.

I'm walking with my fiance down some way in an old world city, vaguely European. There is tan, smooth brick all around, reaching up on the immediate rightin a wall maybe 4 or 5 stories high. There's a similar wall far off to the left, with a canal inbetween. I'm walking down the cobblestoned sloped path, and affixed to the wall to my right, and there are stepped/gradated rails along the wall, one high enough for my hands as well as one that's ledge-like for my feet. I climb up and remember the vivid feeling of the thin rails cutting into my hands as I maintained my grip while my fiance just strolled beside me.

Had some more nonlucids during this time but can't remember them/can't decipher my DJ (I write in the dark). I awoke at 5:30, went to the bathroom, walked downstairs and drank some apple juice. Went back to sleep around 6:15.

I'm talking to my boss and the receptionist at my desk. A coworker (D) says "Hey bro," and my boss tells him not to call me bro, but Tyrannosaur. Transition, and I'm reclining in a bed in a warm red room with incandescent light. Either the boss or the receptionist comes into the room (nothing weird). We talk.

Dreams are more vivid after this point.

I'm in the office and a mentally challenged classmate from college is telling the cleaning people not to spray cleaner in our four-way cubicle, because he has "smell sensitivity".

I'm sitting on the floor at the side of the bed from before, showing my sketchbook to D from earlier. He notes how finished everything looks (I internally note this too -- I never finish anything IRL). As I flip through the book, there is a series of 8-15 pages of detailed, beautiful (stylized) waves moving subtly with each picture. As I flip pages, eventually a woman appears amidst the waves. She changes poses once or twice, then becomes a younger (late teens or 20yo) girl. In the dream, I question whether I drew this. D comments "oh wow, lots of girlies in here". As I continue flipping the pages it switches from a paperback sketchbook to a bound hardback, and at the end there are ads (sort of like at the end of a manga volume).

I had a false awakening about writing down my dreams which was also vivid, although mostly I just rolled around in bed.

Awoke for real at 7:25 dreading work. Had some waking images/a daydream of a thin woman with small eyes and a stern look, wearing red and white leaf print dress. I think her name was Riah (short for Mariah?).

Created Thursday 30 August 2018

Got an LD loop to note. There's also a few fragments, although technically, they're actually several from yesterday morning that I forgot to record then.

Scrap Group 1
Watching and commenting on that JoJo's Bizarre Adventure fighting game with my bro.

In the bathroom, combing my hair. I noticed perfect squares and other unlikely shapes have been combed onto my scalp.

Dream 1 - Man on Fire

The visuals were mostly clear. I was walking around in a city's industrial area during a cloudy day. Eventually, I gained sudden awareness. Took about half a minute rubbing my hands. After that, I ran down the sidewalk, and, when gaining sufficient speeds, flew in the same direction, hovering inches above the pavement. I soon arrived near a metropolitan area. Just then, a violently explosive auto accident occurred nearby. The streets, the vehicles, and even myself were immediately engulfed in flames. Still, this didn't really bother me. I breathed towards an unfazed area of town, spreading a stream of the fire surrounding me in that area.

Lost awareness. More unknown occurrences until the dream collapsed. DEILD attempt. Unwitting transition about three minutes later.

Dream 2 - Frigid Moon

The visuals were mostly clear. I was at the lot beside my house, heading towards my home's backyard, sun high in a scorching, cloudless afternoon. Again, I gained sudden awareness. I drewing a rapier out of nowhere, which I used to conjure and shatter crescent ice formations with each swipe I took. I then felt out the now dead grass and exposed dirt beneath me, now tepid in touch, as opposed to the sweltering air around me.

The dream collapsed soon after. Another DEILD attempt, which I also let slip.

Dream 3 - Cold Hotman vs. The Cannibal Witches

The visuals were a bit blurred. I falsely awaken in the floor of the master bedroom. Got aware within seconds.

Just then, various figures began gnawing on my limbs and chest. I tried imagining this was all just a misunderstanding on my part, that I was actually getting an atypical massage or something, and had nothing to be afraid of. But, on a closer look, I found these figures around me were actually terrible witches, impossibly ancient, wrinkled beings dressed in rags. Each of them tore deeply into my flesh with their foul teeth and clawed hands. As disturbing as this was, none of these injuries actually felt painful.

Reactively, I changed my skin into diamond. I then stood up, struggling to keep these creatures from pinning me back to the ground. Taking a deep breath, I called out for an inferno. Time stood still for a moment, while the background dimmed out of view. An orb of fire soon surrounded me, smaller gouts of flame arcing on its surface. Once time and the surroundings returned, I found that all but one of the witches were dead, burned down to charred skeletons. Meanwhile, the live hag's right leg had been incinerated completely.

I shoved the amputated crone away, causing her to stumble to the floor. Then, I wrenched a smoldering skull nearby. Recalling the contest, I encased the skull in an ice crystal, which I then chucked at the monstrous old woman. Upon contact, the creature exploded into fine dust.

Lost awareness. This scene partially looped back. Later, I argue with my sister over what stats those hags would have in Liberal Crime Squad. Various more unknown occurrences before the dream ended.