dream fragment

15th April 2021

I left recall too long and didn't make any initial notes.

Scraps:

In WoW, with a friend, I'm a rogue or a warrior, possibly a mix. We're chasing after another player, we're somewhere sort of flat? I remember swapping my enchantments on the fly after killing something, because the kill yielded required loot for doing this swap. I remember putting crusader enchantments and seeing them proc on fighting the player we'd been chasing after.

Something about being somewhere with or talking to both L and T, maybe at the same time.

Notes:
- Last night I did try setting an intention again for the lucid dreaming party but unfortunately I lost focus before too long for some reason I can't recall.

- There were several other dreams I had initial recall of in the morning, but the lack of initial notes just made even the faintest details be lost by the time I made this entry.

I have basically no recall this week. Starting a new sleep schedule though. things may improve.

Had one X files related dream. I was exploring a warehouse with Mulder and Scully... Can't remember what happened in it though.

10th April 2021

Fragment:

I'm in space, in a ship. It feels like a mix of Elite, Rebel Galaxy and Starpoint Gemini. Space is mostly realistic though, black with stars, no fancy nebulae or anything like that. I remember at one point there was something about overriding speed safeties and using a manual control to improve time taken getting somewhere.

I'm cruising at a high warp speed, not sure how fast, but fairly fast as I come toward the surface of some astral object, I become unable to slow down enough and bounce off the surface. On an interface I see I lost about 75% integrity. There are local armed defence systems and I re-engage a warp speed to get away from here.

I remember interacting with someone, a friend or family maybe?

There was a lot more to this dream but I left it too long and having made no initial notes, rest of recall is lost.

8th April 2021

Scraps:

(chronology unknown)

I'm in a ship in space. There's a Freelancer feel to things but things look more realistic. I'm flying with two escorts through some kind of debris field and when we encounter some hostiles I shoot one of my wingmen by accident at one point. My ship has enough firepower that it's pretty much a one-shot kill and a message comes up and tells me I have failed the mission. I can't understand it because the wingmen were not marked as mission-critical.

I click retry or something but then I'm doing different things. Vague recall of a more normal Freelancer sequence where I'm in an Eagle and using Salamanca weapons. Intense manoeuvring.

Some other sequence. Also in a game of some kind? Doing some kind of time-trial thing and there's a score multiplier that goes up to x30. It works like the DOOM arcade trials in a sense but the game itself is a mix of RoR2 and something else, having a more crude feel to it. There's a swampy area I go through and maybe some kind of ancient temple. The ambience seems a bit grungy and not particularly bright.

Another thing, relating to the space bit. I am in some kind of station, it's advanced. There's a lot of green and black and I think there are many enemies. My relative power level to theirs is massively superior but it still takes a little bit of time to clear enemies. I'm trying to get to an access or lift perhaps. The area has a very open-design kind of look and is like some kind of massive sci-fi raid dungeon.

Caverns

Someone was driving me out some where. We were leaving a large american city. there were mountains nearby and we truned onto a winding road. We entered a cave and my vision zoomed out to 3rd person. The caves had large rock spikes in it. Each cavern was a large roomconnected by a tunnel to identical rooms. Eventually the car fell through the floor into a similar cavern. Hordes of creatures were running by. Kind of reminds me of stephen king's the gunslinger where he is in the cave with slow mutants.

Jamie

2 dreams last night back to back. first one I barely recall, in an office building or something and Jamie seemingly distant. Next dream was of her in her car smiling at me. That's good I guess.

3rd April 2021

Some in-line thoughts and notes.

Dream:

I am in a car with H. We are driving down a hilly area. I'm sitting facing the back of the car, but I'm in the copilot seat next to H who is at the driver's seat. The steering is not on the side it should be. It's sunny and I can see sharp shadows from the sunlight. H doesn't seem to b ewearing sunglasses or straining despite direct sunlight in his eyes.

Behind us, or in front of me, I see a teal van coming down the same road. As they get close I see through our windows it's an old man and his young daughter. They are somewhat playfully fighting over the wheel but it concerns me. It's not somethign to fool around with, I feel. And I fear they may collide with us as they are going past us.

There's a transition but I don't become aware of it in the dream. I am now walking towards a table which seems to be part of an esplanade on a plaza. It's in a tight spot between two buildings with white painted render.

H is sitting down at the table and I take the seat directly in front of him. Adjoining our table is another table. Sat to my right, is the girl from before. I try to tell her something about some dangers? And then, before I talk about the whole steering thing, H tells me not to bother and I realise at this point that I have no memory of the last few minutes.

I think I ask about what happened but don't get a clear answer and now the father is also coming back and sitting in front of his daughter at the table. We each have a meal, but oddly enough I don't pay any attention to mine.

Before all this. Me and H are in a town. It's dark and night time. Can't see too well except for some faint light at the edge of street light fall-off, away from where we are. We are going back to the car but H can't remember where it is exactly, but I did know exactly where it was. The car was like dad's car?

Before that, not sure what the place is anymore. Looking through a cabinet of some sort. There are drawing pads and other things. Me and H talk, they apparently belong to a childhood friend of his, called Tania. I ask what kind of things she drew? He tells me that when they played in the garden she would pretend to have superpowers she'd imagined/come up with and she drew some furry characters, in answer to my question. I vaguely recall seeing one or two drawings, focusing on faces and muzzles.

Fragment:

Before the other dream, before the first morning awakening. Something in a town, medieval-like but also old home like? There's a WoW feel. My old best friend, D is present in the dream somehow and we talk or something. There's something about T3 gear and tanking. I can't remember anything else but even writing about this made me feel nostalgic for some reason, not just for the game but for this friend too.

4th April 2021

Scraps and fragment:

Dream recall mostly faded and no notes taken. I remember at the end of one dream, I realised faintly that I was dreaming and so it was time to wake up or something. There was a hazard situation? But I'm not sure in what context now.

I had a very long dream sequence. In the dream I am in a dark land. I think it was brighter before, but it was night time and I am in some countryside area. In the distance I see burning towns and things like that. The path I am walking along is patrolled by demons accompanied by a dog-like creature on a chain lead. I am able to use some sort of invisibility ability, every twelve seconds or so. It lasts just long enough that I can hide in a corner and when they go past me, I use the ability to make sure they can't see me. I feel like there's some kind of spotlight on the three of us.

The dog senses me on some level but they leave and my invisibility fades and I move along. There are other patrols and so instead of continuing down this road going downhill I instead take an uphill fork in the road, which is narrower and seemingly goes unpatrolled. I don't feel any negative emotions, but I suppose I just feel neutral about everything.

Transition? I am at a town of some sort. It's seemingly the last surviving settlement in this area. At some point I see the settlement from an RTS-like point of view. There are many sub-cultures in this town, who are seemingly self-segregating in cultural terms. But I also remember going into shops and talking to people. Life seems normal and there is a modern feel to most things. There were many little plots involving interaction with others in this dream but I don't recall any in enough to detail to remember any of them fully.

31st March 2021

Fragment:

I am somewhere underground, dark. It's like BL but not quite. Someone has discovered a hack or made a mod that lets you directly access certain game stats. I become a lycan creature and find that I can easily mine through the rock in one hit with my claws.

I look for and find gold ore which is also mined easily. I sometimes stumble into large and more open cavern systems. There seem to be bottomless pits in places and in the distance there is light sometimes, lava or something I think I assume.

There's some recall of interacting with other people or characters and a big sequence about conversion (into an energy form) in some cathedral-like place that reminds me of a map I made a couple of years ago, but recall is mostly gone.

(recall gap)

Something about Picard getting into a confrontation with some aliens where the Enterprise is disguised as a vessel like what these aliens have. They don't trust him and they realise the deception. The captain makes some kind of plea in order to try and avoid them from going further towards human space but the aliens seem unwilling to compromise.

Then something about the Enterprise and its crew needing to be offloaded somewhere while the ship is repaired. The captain is on Earth trying to find a suitable temporary location for a camp?

Notes:
- This fragment was from waking up in the middle of the night. I couldn't get back to sleep very easily, I think I was too hot. I did not recall any morning dreams.
- When I woke up, I remember I was thinking about M/M stuff and a server I joined recently, but I'm not sure why. There was no link with the dreaming, that I can tell.

29th March 2021

Fragment:

I'm at my old home. Me, mom and L are home. I can't remember why or how we notice, but we realise that T should be here too but is actually missing. I ask mom if he isn't just downstairs or something. She says they've checked.

The next thing I recall I'm outside, with mom. We're in some streets which don't seem familiar, but I don't have that notion in the dream. Diffused shadows, desaturated light. We look around for T outside the building, which isn't really like ours. I think I notice a bus stop and wonder if he'd used that but become dismissive of the idea.

Later, we are at a square junction. Past a crossing, I spot him and tell mom, I think. We can't cross yet, but he sees us and starts walking away. I notice he's wearing a skullcap hat thing and generally warm clothing. For a moment I mistake another man near him to be him but I realise it's not his face and wonder how I could let myself make that mistake. We eventually cross but we've lost track of him again as he moved away.

Then there's some stairs or something in front of a cafe, going down into the ground. Worn stone steps. I am on my own now, it's darker here? Something about vampires and a dungeon, I recall some kind of yellow sandstone or limestone.

3/2/20

I am in my godmother's house with her many kids
I am baking
She gets frustrated by my spilling flour
I tell her I will clean up
When I'm done I wipe it all up
The bread is a small breadstick someone asks me about
They compliment me
I notice the house is dirty
I spend maybe 30 minutes cleaning up their living room of debris and paper left from the kids playing
My godfather is very surprised and pleased at the end result
He mentions having a special time on certain days where we can clean like that, as the whole house is disorderly
I am fine with it because it's superficial cleaning and wouldn't take any time at all

Transitions to walking down a street with old highschool friends/church friends
There are several youth group bands set up all singing the same music along the street.
I have a rolling table stand I am leaning on and roll it over to watch the groups play in unison
Suddenly a band behind everyone starts playing their own music
It's not bad it's just not what other people are playing
The other bands stop and seem confused so they turn around and watch the new band play
I stand with friends and lean on my pummel horse type stand table while watching

I am walking down the street with friends again
My buddy Nate decides to hit on some girls we are walking by
He tells them he wants to show them something
We all get on a shuttle/bus that has a sound system
We all have headphones we plug into their sound ports
He is playing some song for them he wants the girls to listen to
I am confused because the music isn't that great
He then tells one of the girls that she looks just like the lead singer of this band and he thought she would think it was cool
People are somewhat impartial
We all now take turns playing music for each other to listen to
I tell the group it would be cool if we randomly played a song and had the group guess who was the one who selected it as a game
People like that idea
We only get a couple of songs in
One is apparent because it's a sappy hills CW type song that is definitely this helpless romantic girl sitting in the front who used to have a crush on me

I now notice that I have two small fuzzy very very newborn baby birds sitting on my head
They seem incredibly premature and I'm not sure they will make it
I carefully remove them from my head and place them down on a counter
They are both still alive but I gather they will need some serious care
I am in a run-down market like a dollar store with no attendant so I start rummaging around looking for materials to build a nest/make food/administer it to them
I've only seen a few videos of people taking care of birds this young and small
I get some soft towels and find some creamy soup I wonder how I will keep them warm and look for a hot water bottle
The attendant comes out and looks confused
I tell them the situation and show them the birds, they are relieved and sympathetic to my cause


3/05/20

Driving w mom in a smart car
She drives off the road, on a log, and almost over a cliff
I carry the car backward and turn it around by hand

I am driving through a winter storm with an older woman in the car
It is a 50's classic now
The controls are two levers
It is tricky but manageable
Highway speeds but tons of snow and ice on the road

I am kidnapped by a larger bald man with glasses
He takes us (myself and three siblings) to some old house in the middle of nowhere
He has an incestuous family
His kids don't wear clothes and they are all dirty
I escape with my sister
We make it a town over before he finds us
He takes me in a car to a meeting
The meeting is in an old dim looking pool hall/bar
They are having a sacrificial service
They are burning a toddler
I don't want to be there
It is a celebration for them they are all dressed up and communing like it is a holiday for them
I am disgusted and try to leave several times
Each time he walks me back in and forces me to watch
It is smokey in the room
I escape and make it to my car while everyone is leaving
I call the police to report what is going on
It occurs to me there were many firefighters and police there and They may be everywhere
The guy on the other end of the phone seems unphased
I hang up and key into my car and start to drive away


3/06/20

Being given a tour of the space shuttle that is a mix of Saturn v
There are a few of us standing on the core up high
There is a screen that simulates the heights and I stand to the side because it is almost disorienting
Just then the top opens up and we are lowered down the sides almost like a ride
We each have a chest strap holder like a roller coaster and we line the inside of the craft facing each other
I wonder if Starship could hold people like this

I am in a classroom with people I went to high school with
The math teacher seems hip
He has long dark hair with some grey streaks
He also wears black-rimmed glasses
He has a unique sense of humor and the students like him
There is a note taped to the front board talking about how his wife left him
It seems like it's meant to be a morose joke
A kid I went to high school with is singing/beatboxing a song and everyone is listening to him
I have the sudden realization that I am too old to be here
It frustrates me
I say out loud realizing it is a dream
'why am I even here? I am too old to be in school!"
Everyone stops and the teacher looks at me
The teacher begins talking to me directly
I don't recall everything he says but he tells me something along the lines of "because you want to learn" it is true, I have been asking to be taught by my dreams
I just didn't expect it to be so literal
He explains a few things to me and his voice becomes jibberish
I begin to wake up
I remain still and focus on the dream and talking to him
The dream reappears around me exactly as before with fewer students in there with me
This happens a few times and I am able to reform the dream and reappear in the same classroom always with the teacher
The last time I reappear the colours are off in the room
I ask him why things look different now
It is almost night time and there are no lights
I manifest small flames in my right hand and intend them to go along the wall in the back of the classroom, with each one the room gets brighter
Once they line the back wall they begin to dim and flicker
I intend them all to be brighter at once and they do
The room is brightly lit now
Our studies continue

I am in the back of a department store mixed with a chemical facility it seems
There is an invisible person wrestling with me
I ask them to help me carry cans of a beverage out and they oblige
I see a girl I used to know hooking up with one of the guys in the bathroom
They are shocked I walked in but I don't care I just have to urinate really badly
I set up to pee and go for what seems like minutes
The guy looks over at me amazed that I am going for so long
The relief feels amazing
My penis hangs down past the knee of my shorts when I am done, I don't care

I am in a gas station/head shop
I purchase a large water pipe and a smaller rig for oil that looks like the nectar collector but more convoluted
For some reason, I throw a small weight through a Pepsi machine and it puts a hole in the front of it
Whenever someone uses water on the beverage station, pop spews out the hole
I find the water cut off and switch it off to fix the problem
I find the water hookup to the machine that was broken and unplug it
I am now able to turn the water back on and other dispensers work


3/07/20

There's a taco truck part of a cultural festival thing
The tacos are super cheap and we buy a few to eat
Like a dollar apiece
I have a backpack full of money

In a friend's house, it is super big with many gadgets and an expensive computer and a voice-activated shower
I am the rich kid doing some promotional tv spot
I am walking on top of a telephone booth and something else that is mostly glass
It breaks with my step and I crash through it falling to the ground
Broken glass is everywhere
I am bloody and covered in thousands of small glass shards
My stomach is cut up too
I can walk fine but everything stings
I go to the large house and tell the shower to turn on
It is a large walk-in room attached to the bedroom
The water is at the perfect temperature
I try to clean myself but some glass still remains
I am picking glass out of my skin the entire dream
I notice several cars driving down the long driveway from the bedroom which is on the second story
My friend's siblings have all arrived
They are all older
My friend offers me some shrooms to take for our trip
I eat one to microdose but never end up feeling anything
They are large like baby bellas not small like normal shrooms
He turns everything off in his room but tells me to leave his windows open
The screens are still in place
We go downstairs and meet his siblings who are all of various ages much older than us
One of his brothers has a hang drum he is playing on the stage in their front yard
I want to play it but never make it onto the stage


3/12/20

Driving see a circle of sunlight on the moon that fades in a minute or two
Parked at a campground that is also the parking lot of the spa
Kevin is giving me a tour of the new facilities
Everything is updated and newer futuristic looking
I am crying because I am back
I pack up and go to leave the parking lot
Drive down the street before I realize I forgot things on the ground by my campsite
A necklace and a few more things
Drive back and there is another car parked in the lot
I pick up my things slowly and a guy walks up to me and asks me if 73-year-olds can float
We talk about the tanks while I walk up to the spa with him
I tell him I was just leaving but I'm happy to talk to him
He is impressed with my knowledge and glad to talk to me
I tell him to tell the people in the spa about me
Mark is standing in the other room talking to other employees

Fast forward
I am in a camper/RV
I am looking at my body and it looks like someone else's body
My ribs pulsate and roll like a fish out of water
My elbow has an exposed joint like a puppet
I am made of a flesh coloured plastic material
My arm is many mechanisms
Someone is shocked I don't look human
I may be an alien
I say oh, those? Those are just my tubes


3/14/20

Some kind of political action event in a long hallway
People are lined up to hear different other people talk at certain intervals
There is a woman in a chair trying to talk to people but no one is listening because she isn't official
There is a man reciting the Hare Krishna
Everyone joins in and sings
There is a dance troupe of guys doing a pre-rehearsed dance routine
I join in for the fun of it but I don't know the dance
He tells me for the next segment I need a pair of boots
I don't have any
They have a special shoe with a brick on one foot
It is like a stomp routine
Later he asks me why I didn't dance as tight as them
I told him I'm not a dancer but I like to dance
I have no formal training
He is sitting at a computer
Upstairs there is a girl who has an amateur bakery in her room
Her oven is a wood stove made of plywood
There are tons of fresh baked bread rolls and sourdough in forms
Everyone seems to be really impressed with her
She is surrounded by older men trying to court her
I wait until fewer people are there and begin talking to her questioning about the oven and how it's constructed
I tell her I wish my parents let me have an oven in my room when I was younger
It is all a sort of historical reproduction now
There are hundreds of smaller birds that I thought were moths at first
They are tiny like the size of cicadas
They obviously are there for the crumbs
I ask her who eats the birds
And a cat appears and catches one on the floor
She says see, a perfect ecosystem
We have a conversation about historical reproduction and how someone a hundred years ago would never imagine that we would be baking bread the same way but then jump in our car and go a hundred miles an hour down the highway
She turns down many gentlemen callers
Our conversation is pleasant


3/15/20

Elon tells me to collect foliage
They capture a dinosaur and take it across the street
I have a special calculator that is an mp3 player for Victor
Nikki falls weird while trying to snowboard down a mountain with fresh powder
We rescue her and she is embarrassed

I'm in a large airport terminal/arcade like a futuristic dave and busters
I am taking a trip overseas with Guy with Ginny too
I realize last minute I don't have a clothes bag packed and go back to pack clothes
I'm walking through the terminal and can't find my clothes anywhere
There is a leak from the ceiling and a couple of small pools of water on the floor
A worker middle-aged woman tells me not to step there and I don't listen and slip slightly but maintain my step
She gets mad at me and tells me she is going to get me in trouble
I ask her if she is a middle school teacher because she's bad at ordering people around
A cop/guard comes over to me later and is annoyed the woman bothered him for such a stupid reason, he mocks her in front of me


3/16/20

Sitting at a four-top table with three other middle-aged women
They are silently bidding on fancy plates to eat pizza with a fork and knife on
The woman I am paired up with tells me she only puts one slice on a plate at a time
We all put our heads down to bid
I don't understand the process and they are all seasoned in it
I look at my phone and swipe away a few messages
The lady across from me chastised me for not paying attention and looking at my phone
I look up and begin to yell at her and tell them that they are all petty as fuck and this whole process is stupid as hell and I walk away out of the store

Down the street, I see Nikki by a large tree next to a river
We hang out and it is a pleasant rekindling
I am suddenly large and cut like Karl urban we begin to hook up but I am also watching it happen
As the intercourse progresses there is a power-play between who is in control
Her face gets blood red and pulsed like she is lifting weights and she grows a beard as she becomes more forceful
The me I am watching asks her why can't I just love you like I used to, and she shrugs

I am in a Halloween store with my mother and there are workers in costume just casually walking around
I go to the makeup section to browse
There is an upstairs loft that isn't too populated but has a guy sitting at a desk
He is selling laser-cut temporary tattoos that literally burn complicated designs into your skin but shed within a day or two
He shows me some demos and I am impressed
It looks like it hurts but he assures me it's quick and painless, he also shows me pictures of how quickly it fades, I think it's a great idea
There is a small snack shop connected to the costume store that has three mini sliders for sale
They have 3 of them put together to show the workers on a shelf up high with a mirror directed to show the reflection
They seem tasty but I don't try any
There is a drive-thru

I am suddenly in a Mexican restaurant of sorts back in the kitchen
I gather I am a server but hanging out with the cooks
I see one of the cooks eating his lunch real quick
There is a paper towel dispenser which is full of long flat tortillas rolled up
His burrito is half hanging from the ripping part as he eats the remainder
I take both hands and pull out the last bit and ask him if I can have it while it's already in my hands
He shrugs and I realize I should have asked before grabbing the food with both hands
I apologize and begin to eat it.
It's dry but flavorful

I am a cowboy in the western 19th century
I am with a troupe who take over some ritzy plantation with force
We threaten with guns but aren't overly violent
The slaves are all worried at first but I assure them they are all free now and don't have to worry about anything
They are all african american women in their 20s and 30s and they are surprised and happy to be freed by us
The plantation owners aren't very pleased but go along with it
We all sit down to have a meal and serve ourselves family-style dishes
I have huge portions on my plate of coleslaw green beans and potato salad
It all tastes really good and I talk to the people around the table about how southern food tastes so much better when you're in the south
There is someone in my troupe who is severely prejudice against army soldiers and there is a soldier who is in the room too
He tries to fight him and wants to kill him outside
More army shows up and there is a large explosion


3/17/20

There were several episodes to my memory recall. But it picks up. And I am in a homie warm large cottage, that seems like it's at a summer camp or something. Surrounded by people that are there at the camp and they are familiar to me like festival.

There seems to be a kind of war. For the battle between the two sides, one is a red side one is a blue side people are dressed like pirates, but also like festival ware.

I talk to a guy who has multiple large sticks/logs, and one of them looks like a didgeridoo. I ask him if it's a didge and he says, I don't think so but it might be and I ask him if there's a hole in the center. I take it from him and begin to look and notice that the log is larger than I thought it was at an off angle and there is a hollow hole through the center of the trunk, but there are many cobwebs and debris inside of it and I don't feel like putting my mouth on the end to see if it reverberates like a didgeridoo.

At a certain point, there was a female companion with me who felt very warm. We were connected in a way that we knew each other prior to this experience. We spent time alone away from the group, we were inside of almost like a hanging woven wooden egg-shaped chair we sat in together and there was a spell put on the chair so that no one else could see that we were in it even while standing next to us. There was this overarching theme of magic. Like maybe we were magical creatures or we were hanging around magical creatures.

There are some memory gaps and it transitions to me exploring the outside area and there are multiple buildings all connected with a flat black asphalt pathway, that is almost as wide as a road and is very smooth and glossy. To move quickly. I put rocks under my feet and I'm able to slide down the hill very easily almost like I'm ice skating.

I see someone else pass me on the other side of the walkway only they are riding a flat disc-like sled. They look at me laughingly and are curious at what's on my feet as they pass me by going the opposite direction. I go to the far edges of the area and there's an older building that doesn't really seem to be used anymore, but there is a small family out front and I gather that he is making fake bigfoot plasters imprints And they are worried that I will catch them in what they are doing, but I pretend not to notice and ask them questions about the building. They say they will open the doors for me but no one is in there, so I don't really care. I end up walking through one of the glass panes into the building and it's like a science museum child's education center. With cartoonish graphics on the walls amongst other things but it is barren and no one is in there. I walk out and tell them what's the point of having a lock on the door if their windows are open, I continue walking around the campus.

I am suddenly in a theater/arcade area where everything has neon lights. They are low lit like pink neons and green neons and everything feels retro almost like from the 80s. I don't recognize anybody anymore and there are many older games that are being projected on a movie screen in a theater that people are playing. I ask a guy sitting upon a stool playing an old box arcade game what year it is and he says, it's 1980 I say, oh shit I must have time-traveled again. Now realizing that I am stuck in another time. I can't figure out how to get back, so I just wander around and explore the area trying to get to where I came from. Every new opening seems to lead to a new area. None of which looks like the place I was in before.

There's a big open midway. That seems like the opening of a movie theater with many different doorways going in different directions, it almost feels like a science museum. But more like a theater and everything is still retro colored and the people even are dressed in the style that was popular in the eighties.


3/18/20

I am in India
There is a strong current river next to the town I am in there is a long tube wave down the length of it
I befriend a young girl who identifies as a boy but she looks more androgenous
We venture around the markets of the town and they seem quaint and simple, yet familiar
I have one day left in India before I have to travel back and I am trying to figure out where to go to spend it
I have a conversation about which part of India is more Muslim and which is more Indian traditional
We are taken to an Indian temple that hosts pagan rituals
There are several guys in the group who seem like posers to me
They want to be baptized in pigs blood
They are lowered into aquariums full of blood and act super affected by the ritual
While this is happening the temple is lit with a green glow, it is night time
I begin coughing hard and a long bloody hairy mess comes out of my throat
I cough up this bundle of blood and hair and feel incredibly relieved when it is all out, it takes a minute or two to drag it out
I am annoyed at the white guys who paid to have the faux ceremony and gather it is a service the locals provide to tourists who don't know any better

We are at a convenience store and the guys are being rude and rambunctious
I have painstakingly baked a cheesecake from scratch and one of the guys found it and ate it all
I am pissed off because I have to shave
I grab his mouth and press the remaining cake out of his mouth and smear it on my face to shave with
I wipe it off with napkins
We find a snack dispenser that has reusable plastic bags under it of different sizes to our snacks in, I am trying to do the bat conversion to figure out if I have enough money left over to buy some

There is a large overweight man who comes into the store and pushes over a girl in our group
I start hitting him with pipe pieces on the floor and he is shocked
He claims innocence and was just trying to get her attention
He walks back into the kitchen and asks for hours to work, they put him to work


3/20/20

Cooking school under one chef she is female
We are in blue and red teams
She asks me to make chocolate ice cream with thousand island
I spend time walking around looking for the recipe folder
My friend from my last restaurant job is in the crowd and wants to talk about aliens but I am busy trying to put the recipe together
It ends up looking like a hamburger bun with ice cream in the middle
I ask the chef if they are macaroons
She says no that would be cream on cream
we take a field trip to Tel Aviv to sample traditional food
I am excited because it looks very authentic and the restaurant is filled with locals
We file into booths along the wall
There are mostly females and I am one of the few guys
We look at menus and I order a coconut shrimp appetizer but don't remember ordering my main course
The restaurant seems to be meat-based
After we place our orders we are ushered next door to a warm springs spa where we can relax and get massages and general pampering
It is very relaxing and the water feels great
We are all in our bathing suits
After some time we finish as a group and begin to congregate in front of the restaurant next door for our meal
One guy in the group is trying to complain/make a joke that we should all be in our trousers to relax, but he is wearing a long traditional dress and so am I. He says "everyone is wearing their trousers come on", I reply slyly, "Oh really? Everyone huh?" Sarcastically, people giggle at me and the teacher next to me laughs at my observation that he is not in trousers
We sit in new tables this time that are rectangular heavy wooden tables with wooden chairs all around
There are maybe a dozen such large tables in the hall
Just as people around us are getting their food a very large crowd of maybe 50 Muslim men arrive in the open-ended restaurant all cheering clapping and singing
They go from table to table one at a time lifting every chair and table up to shoulder length while chanting a certain prayer or blessing very loudly
When this happens I notice the women lean backward and throw their heads back and the men lean forward and bow over their table
I want to watch but an obese man at the table next to me grabs my neck/head and holds it down during one of the blessings
When they get to our table the food is already on it but we all stand up and let them lift our chairs and table while we stand by and attempt to sing along with the blessing
Once they finish the whole crowd departs as quickly as they arrived singing and clapping getting quieter as they leave the area
The whole experience was energetic and mystical almost otherworldly
We are now sitting at our table looking at the food which has been sat in front of us. I don't remember what main I ordered but I am sure I don't have the right food, other people's meat looks really good but I think I may only have an appetizer
The dream fades as I look around the table at everyone's entree, wondering if this is family-style or if we are only allowed to eat what we ordered.


3/21/20

At a rodeo wearing a long tan coat
There are many people there
A native american girl keeping giving me weird looks
A guy tries to sell me his run-down jeep cherokee for $400
Jake Neely runs around like a wild beast chasing a cow
I have a sniper rifle


3/22/20

Purple electrical storms
5 tornadoes/dust devil's
Eat waffle house to go
At a school after hours hanging with a teacher

A large america festival with thousands of people closely packed in
Run by a company that sells fake underwater experiences using fish tanks and backdrops

At some underground party/festival and hear a band playing in the basement
I see a guy who looks like weird al there is no one downstairs watching
The band sounds awesome like electro-funk and they are wearing costumes like cybertronic spree
Lasers and light effects and smoke, it is an entrancing show
I watch and groove for a while and a couple of people show up and are super surprised that I didn't come specifically to see the band and don't know their names
They both are wearing cybertronic spree t-shirts
they go back to the band manager and tell them I am living in 2015 and don't know anything but that they need promo people and I might be useful

Something about Bin Laden coming down a river in a boat to see me
I have two books I take with me
We sit in the boat, it feels Egyptian
We talk for a while
Afterward, a guy who works for him tells me he is impressed that I talk to girls every day


3/23/20

Going to Wayne's house for shamanic group
There are many people I don't recognize
A lot of them are young
Gin is with me
We watch a pixar movie about a dragon that changes colours
There is a balloon made of glass in the room
The shamanic practices never start
I gather he doesn't practice anymore
His wife left him and he lives alone

I am trying to get to Wayne's house and driving the car through some shopping mall that is also a restaurant
People are shocked I have a car on the walking path
I ask a woman how to get to a certain address she tells me to follow her
She leads me to another woman who starts to get a table for me
I tell her I asked the other woman how to get to the address on this paper I have
She rolls her eyes and walks away
I decide to use my phone and google it
I was close, his house is through a shop at the end of a corridor

I leave Wayne's and walk down the block
I am in Kettering by a large field
I see Jack with his drum and many others showing up for an event
There are maybe a hundred people there
Jack tells me it's drum day, he asks me to move a garbage bin to the edge of the road so the smell doesn't blow into people while we play
I am amazed there are so many people gathered.
I am suddenly upset no one has masks on and everyone is pretending it is like before with no precautions
I decide to go back to Wayne's to tell him about the drum circle
He has no idea but is surprised by the coincidence
He doesn't want to leave the house

There is a cafe in the mall outside his house with a stage
There are many musicians who gather to make music
I have my guitar with me in its soft case but I don't play
One of the musicians has a rattle that is many hands that clap when you shake it
He has some monologue about how making tools to congratulate yourself stunts progress when you self reinforce without external checks
A larger vehicle drives by that he made with dozens of the same rattles automatically shaking and cheers playing through loudspeakers
It's like a mobile cheering and clapping crowd. But no one is clapping
I am missing my guitar and go around the stage looking for it, I see several cases that are the same as mine but have other equipment in it
I realize I left all my stuff in my car
Someone has my possessions in a felt purse they put aside for me
I jokingly ask if I can keep the bag and they say no
I walk back to my car, a child asks me if I am looking for younger people, I say no I'm leaving now, everyone says bye to me

I'm in a classroom that feels like a mix between an art room and a cafeteria
I look at myself in the mirror and I am a younger blonde girl with odd shapes painted on my face like Bowie
I get into a verbal argument with a table of obese african american girls sitting in front of me
They were making fun of someone close to me and I began questioning them and telling them off
One of them got up and started walking towards me
I mock their actions asking them if they were going to hit me because they disagree with me
I am on a roll and they don't know how to respond because everyone around them is astonished they are being told off by a little girl
A bigger girl who looks trans begins to get an attitude with me, I tell her off just the same
People are on my side because I am standing up to horrible people who are known bullies
She eventually gets fed up and walks away
People are happy for me
I make a comment about something big as she walks away because I notice she is a head taller than everyone else
People go ooooooooh and I feel like I have won the day

*NSFW*

Spoiler for NSFW:

I am at Alyssa's house on the front porch
I buzz the door because I know she's home
She comes to the door but doesn't open it
I hear her moaning through the speaker box
I can hear her pleasuring herself and her little squeaks of joy, the sounds of her body
She rubs herself to climax while I stand at the door
She then slowly opens the door and I see she is completely naked
She looks up to me with a sultry wanting lust drunkenness look in her eye
I confirm she is alone in the house by glancing back
I reach down and run my fingers through her slit gathering some of her juices
I bring my hand to my mouth and taste her while she bites her lip watching me
She tastes like sweet nectar
I step into the house, the door shuts behind me as I feel her naked body against me
The dream ends

3/26/20

Road trip south to Florida w family
Get there and realize Gin isn't with us
They say she's not invited and I get angry and yell
It's a white house kinda run down I think it may be my uncle's second home
We stay on the first floor
I go to the basement to explore
It is dark and cavernous like a dungeon
Cody is with me as we venture from room to room
There is water under the floor
There are tons of red jellyfish looking creatures in the water
I Google them on my phone
I slip into the water once but they don't bother me
Cody helps me up
We go into a larger room that has metal bars all around the windows like a prison and a very large almost statue-like dagger/feather hanging diagonally from the ceiling through the room
The whole room is musky and rank with cobwebs all over and vines hanging from the ceiling
My mother's brother shows up and flips on the light switch to the room
The lights flick on and everything looks normal now, flat white walls and tile floors
I am shocked that it looked so crazy before and wonder what the effect is
I pull out my flashlight on my phone and turn the lights to the room off again and shine it
I see now the effect, the light shines through the thin walls and shows the bars in the other side of the windows and such
The large feather dagger hanging from the middle of the room is gone
I try to describe it and mention I have seen it before, I've been here before

I am with a group of friends in a post-apocalyptic scenario
Many people are migrating at once and there is chaos
Large crowds of people walking down the street congregating at certain waypoints to meet with others
At one of the waypoints I see a girl I used to know, only she looks slightly different
I glance at her name tag and it says Elizabeth though I know her IRL name is Savannah
I say loudly, Elizabeth eh? As I walk out of the crowded room with her to my back
She is with one of her friends and calls out to me when we get outside
I go back to her and we talk
She looks different but still familiar, slightly rougher as if life has been tough for her
She mentions she has a place where we can sleep for the night if we need
My friends are very interested because we are nomadic survivors now and will take anything we can get
It skips to the house where she offered us to stay
We are all in one room and there are three beds in it
The sheets are made but it feels like an old person's house
I realize that people have died in these beds and there are towels on the floor at the end of the beds with fluids on them
There is that stale putrid smell in the air
I ask if it's true and she says yes, the place she works at deals with body removal and she gets to use whatever is leftover
I am immediately bothered by the situation
I cannot sleep in a bed that someone just died in
Someone in the room questions me as to my hangups and I tell them
"The fabric of space-time, the literal three-dimensional space is torn or altered by the transition when someone dies. This place is tainted by death"
The person struggles to listen to me and kind of rolls their eyes at me
I don't care and leave

There is a fragment where I am with a large hispanic family
One of them has started a food truck and is catering a party they are having
Everything is free and laid out like a cookout
People have their fill and there is still plenty of leftovers I pick through
Some 7 layer taco dip
Some chips, some tacos, and a tres leches cake with white icing
It all tastes very good but I don't have any utensils and eat with my hands
The icing goes everywhere

I am on some gameshow with several over thieves and criminals
We all take the same tour bus around town
I gather the theme is something about who can steal the most without getting caught
We are given nothing and no help
But everyone must be secretive and no one really talks to each other
At the store, one guy tries to take a large pallet of rolled quarters but is immediately caught by security
I bend over to help and hand the stack of rolled quarters back to the guard
While doing so I skim two rolls of the top with my fingers without anyone noticing
Sweet I am broke and hungry as hell
We are all walking around a grocery store trying to figure out what to buy to eat
Everyone else is looking for packaged processed food
I go to the fruit isle because it is the cheapest and best nutrients for the buck
I buy some lemons and avocado with my change
I go back to the RV we are staying in and make a pitcher of lemonade and eat the avocado
Someone else was caught trying to steal something
I go back out and attempt again
We are by a casino that has large golden letters on a sign
I take one and wrap it in a towel and barely make it back to the RV
It is then revealed to me that I have been caught and the whole show was secretly being filmed about us, not about what we were told
I manage to escape in a bathrobe with my pitcher of lemonade in my hand
I am with someone else who is older and reminds me of my mentor Doug
We steal an armored RV which belongs to the security following the show
They are not pleased and shoot at us as we drive away
We crash through a gas station and stop for some reason
Doug asks me if we want an assistant
There is a younger asian boy who wants to join our adventure
I am appalled because it is dangerous and I don't think we need to have a child involved with this
He asks the kid if he wants to come and he says yes so we let him on board
We drive away speedily while being shot at by the pursuers
The windows and the car are bulletproof
I find an assault rifle loaded in the back, I cock it, take off the safety and proceed to try to shoot back, all the windows are barely cracked but not open really
As one of them starts to drive up close to us on the back right I stick the nozzle of the gun out the crack and shoot out one of their tires
We are on the highway going very fast and they immediately wreck into the sidewall
We lose our pursuers and continue driving along
I begin searching the RV for any supplies
It seems brand new and not stocked at all
I find a mini-fridge and go through it
Nothing but an empty lunch bag in it
But I pull a cover from the back and discover a boatload of cookie dough of various flavors
I hand some off to Doug and the kid
We munch on cookie dough while driving away to freedom, the dream fades


3/28/20

I am in a bigger white house sleeping in a bed with gin and another couple
They are older and the woman looks kind of washed up
I had seen another couple in the house cleaning that looked just like the other couple and the woman told me it's her sister who is now with her ex. He looks like the other guy but they are not related
I gather we own the house now but they still live there as cleaners
They also have kids who are running around
I am not very amused and find the whole thing rather unprofessional

I am suddenly in another house which is like a small studio
There is a guy with a shaved head and hair on the front of his head only and glasses
He is showing a custom washing machine he built which fills itself with a container of soap and starts itself at a tap, he is proud of it
He leaves and his girlfriend begins to give me the tour/introduction
I am in an Airbnb of sorts but it is very small
It is rustic and in the middle of nowhere in the forest
The bed I will be sleeping in is in the same room as their kitchen/laundry room and she tells me she will be coming into the room to do things but she won't bother me
I am fine with the arrangement because there isn't a lot of space
I venture around the land and it is very green
There is a small stream running parallel to the property and there is bright green moss all around the base of the many trees
I see large spiral snail shells in the moss and amazed by their size

I am suddenly in a post-industrial landscape with a large cathedral-like manor that houses an orphanage or church I am unsure
I was once part of the community but now gather things have changed and I am different
They have a prophecy of a dark one I may be fulfilling
I begin flying around the many rooms in circles high in the air
I am dressed as Santa Claus
I continually shout Merry Christmas as I fly by people
The kids all point and laugh but the adults are cautious and lead them away
I feel several loose spiral shells in my mouth and spit them out to look
My hands and face have gone dark
I am eating a slushy from a paper pack and slow down by an adult, they take the trash from me
They make a comment I am acting like a child now and laugh though most of them still fear me

28th March 2021

Fragment:

Some kind of false awakening, dream reality feels accurate to waking life. I get up and then am answering the door? It's early morning and it's sunny outside; the sun's position in the sky would make it late afternoon but in the dream I don't realise this, the light looks morning-like. There's a courier stood by a van on the left or something and I go to him, shielding my eyes from the sun's glare with my right hand. My eyes feel exactly as if I had indeed just gotten up and are taking long to adjust to the bright light and I squint. I take a package from the courier? There are other people around in the street but rest of details not recalled.

Fragment:

I'm in a building. A hall or palace, unsure. I'm part of a faction and I have some kind of battle equipment but little detail recalled and I go on some kind of patrols on my own in a city or town area. Then back at the palace place, one item I recall clearly on a table is an Axis-like medal with a skull at its centre. It's a pendant and it's mine. I take it and it has some kind of interface overlay saying it grants me "+2 fortune". There's some other pendant which I also take and it grants +1.

In the room I'm in, there are two large palace windows to a courtyard. A Nazi officer with some bodyguards or soldiers approach a door next to the windows. He knocks or something and waits patiently, I believe someone answers the door and the officer speaks. "I have been sent to speak to the queen", he says, or something to that effect. The door is shut and the man waits patiently outside, looking somewhat stiff in posture.

It is either dawn or night but it doesn't look so dark outside. Someone goes to get the queen; eventually she appears to my left in a dark corridor. She's in her night clothing and looks rather exposed or vulnerable as far as royalty goes. This is some ancient English queen, but I'm not sure who; possibly queen Victoria, I get a feel of. She stands a distance away from the door and it is opened now; she engages in some dialogue with the Nazi officer. Her face suggests mistrust, disgust and apprehension, possibly more so for having been woken in the night like this.

Notes:
- The second fragment was very long but I cannot recall enough of it to put into words; a lot of it seemed to take place in WH40k-like locations. There was a general feel of futuristic Warhammer mixed with WWII themes to the whole thing.

- The pendant I had also gave that feeling; as far as I can tell, it was like a medal awarded to me for valour in combat; I do not remember what the second pendant looked like. They were both on leather strings.

27th March 2021

Scraps:

(recalled after I sat at my desk)

I am at my computer. I'm checking on Steam or some other similar program and in there I see that AH messages me saying that I "was right, it was a joke", which she then starts to explain in more detail. I feel a mix of anger and mistrust but also relief.

A possible false awakening where my alarm was going off and playing music; but something about the music didn't seem right each time. The environment looked accurate to waking life but foolishly I didn't think to do any types of checks, as I felt quite sleepy.

Notes:
- While in bed last night, had another dialogue with Data as I was falling asleep. This time I could use my own voice and not the captain's. But Data seemed unable to communicate very clearly this time. We talked about dream signs and my inability to either notice them or have them appear, lately, as well as how I have been doing some RCs too routinely sometimes.

- When I recalled the fragment about the conversation with AH, some of the dream feelings described were temporarily present. I proceeded to check that this conversation hadn't actually happened and really was just from a dream.

- Although the environment looked accurate while I was hearing the alarm, I also recall it seemed brighter than it should have done for that time of the morning. I've had dreams where the environment looked so accurate that it was easily acceptable for them to be waking life locations/situations.

I was attempting a WILD - didn't work but I did fall asleep luckily


First dream I had I was living in a mansion, just a bigger 3D version of my bedroom with a private bathroom.
Kinda like a Sims type of house.
My parents were also living there for some reason.

I had to pee but was constantly interrupted by my parents whenever I wanted to go to the bathroom.

I woke up, actually needing to go to the bathroom so it was a good thing I didn't go in my dream.

Second dream I had was short.

I in my living room staring at the floor, when a shadow appeared screaming "Hey!"

That jumpscare woke me up immediately lol, wasn't sure whether I was still dreaming or not so I slept with my head in the pillow as I didn't want to see some other "surprise shadow" behind my curtains hahahaha

Can't recall the third dream I shortly had before class started.

21st March 2021

Dream:

At a dining table? Not sure if it's even in a room exactly, but there's a feel of the dining room at my old home. Mom and T are playing some strange eastern game or something involving objects they throw over to each other. The table is long like a festive dining table? Something about decorating it.

The trim of the table has been painstakingly put together from dozens or hundreds of strips of decorative paper or something. Another bit uses some kind of holographic projection. I wonder or ask why it simply wasn't all done with the projection method.

(recall gap)

Some bit in a town. Looks like my native country, streets very similar to that of towns near where I used to live. I'm coming up a hilly bit on foot. There's someone I'm supposed to meet and pick up but I have to tell him I won't be able to. I see him by some kind of public transport stop.

He's a black teen, with short hair. I ask him if he's waiting for one of us, from my family. He confirms that he is. I then explain that I won't be able to take him because I don't have a car right now. Dad or L is using it?

He doesn't seem to be disappointed and explains that he got a vehicle of his own and will be able to use that; it's some kind of trike?

I ask him to be careful, I think I'll feel responsible if he has an accident.




22nd March 2021

Dream:

I'm in a tank, at first in some kind of RTS-like view mode, but soon after moving around this scenario for a bit it changes to a regular (closer) third-person view.

I find some targets along the way and destroy them, as I'm headed somewhere. An enemy base of some kind? The enemy units seem frightened and try to keep as much distance as possible and avoid me. I fire the main cannon but also use the secondary gun to destroy enemy targets.

I remember feeling myself use a keyboard and maybe seeing it too (old yellowed keyboard?) to control cannon pitch and yaw. I also have a secondary type of ammo for the cannon, some miniature warheads, which I use a few times?

Eventually, after all the ground targets are down, I head towards a square-ish hole in the ground. I switch to a first person view now, in which I can see the cannon sticking out. I "crawl" down into the hole slowly, not wanting to fall down as there is a drop and a boss down below. Some kind of giant, an avatar of some deity I think.

I try firing one of the warheads into the room below since I don't actually have direct line of sight to the boss but it doesn't seem to affect it, as a health bar for the boss an a UI remains unchanged.

Hesitant, I eventually go down. I engage this avatar in combat using my main cannon and trying to keep my distance from its swiping. The avatar has a muscled and male form, it's colouration is dark, maybe a black tone like basalt.

He talks to me as he fights, but I cannot recall what about. I don't do much damage and the boss kills me eventually. I respawn in a chamber adjacent to the boss room. The whole place has an ancient classical look to it. Although this passes me by in the dream, it actually reminds me of Act2 levels from Daikatana.

The boss room itself had a very similar look. It is octagonal and with a few (sort of) central pillars. There's a shallow level of water and it looks clear. This water is also present in the other large room I was respawned in.

After a tiny bit of exploring? I try to get the boss to come out of his room since there's actually more room to fight him in this one. It doesn't work though, he's apparently "leashed" and eventually I just go back in the main boss room again.

I can't recall the rest but the dream went on for quite a while.


Notes:
- I don't know why but I feel compelled to register a sudden observation. Lately in dreams I feel there has been some absence of emotion.

- The deity's avatar was probably based off some recent boss fights in some games.

- Although it's unusual that I had some awareness of the keyboard in a way that made me step out of "tunnel vision", for the most part in that dream I was just immersed into its reality in the same way that I am when playing a game in waking reality.

17th March 2021

(didn't capture recall before it faded)

Fragment:

I am driving; I'm in the middle of a fast changing situation?

I made a game of some kind and I'm playing through it. Maybe it's like Doom in gameplay but some part of it makes me think of AvP.



18th March 2021

Fragment:

Black cat, rubbing it under where the rib cage started as it seemed to be where it enjoyed it most. Unusually, this unnerved me a bit for some reason. H is sitting next to me and giving the cat attention too. The cat resembled Y. (in-lne note, it's possible it unnerved me because a dream character is effectively a part of me, and I don't particularly like being touched under or on the sternum but I wouldn't have much of a problem with doing this with a pet if it's what it wanted)

Fragment:

At my old home's town. Driving down through the avenue that is by the church. I'm a passenger. The driving and such are all on the correct side.

I see the cafe that's to my left, the one that has the office supplies shop. It's front end is being expanded, like they're adding on to the in-door esplanade space. In the dream I assume this has something to do with Covid and social distancing.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


Part of a team planning something that implies invading someone's underwater bunker and living there for a year. But the plan fails, because the bunker is at a lake or near the shore and there is as a guy driving buy who spots us diving and he knows to whom this place belongs and what's down there under water. I think we should abort but the others decide to go anyway.
Nothing happens for weeks. We get used to living there. It's more like an underwater complex, spacious and with multiple areas, even has a living room with a piano, very stylish.
At some point we're running a full business from there and I interview 3 ladies for the secretary job. Someone even brings in a dog,
Then there is one incident, when the two guys who take shifts guarding outside, get into a fight. While they are not watching, some hired killer comes in the complex to eliminate us. And somehow I know this but no one listens to me. There are escape pods and I consider going on one, but I decide to stay and locate and neutralize the enemy.

I am at the Finances office, to clear up a doubt about my taxes, but the world looks a bit post-apocalyptic and the place looks chaotic. No one comes to help me, so I just barge in and look for employees in the lower level office rooms. I find a room with two workers behind desks covered in piles of paper and attending a 3rd person, so I wait on a bench in the corridor for a chance to talk to them. While there, the corridor behind me fills with debris, like the walls just collapsed. But the workers just keep doing their business as usual, as if nothing happened and eventually ask me what they can do to help me. We discuss income tax and they issue an invoice for the tax I have to pay, and then I leave.
I meet my dad on my way out, and I tell him about my tax issues. But then he starts tickling me and playing with me like he used to when I was a child. But not in a good way. (And this is actually real, my father never abused me, but he did harass me a lot and disguised it as innocent play) Things escalate as he starts pulling my pants off. I get really mad at him and yell at him that that wasn't ok when I was a child and it is not ok now, and that he will face consequences, because I am an adult now. I call him an abuser and tell him that what he did, was never play, it was always sexual abuse/harassment and he seriously needs treatment for his mental problem. He goes speechless. He looks down on the ground, then grabs a sandwich, but can't even swallow it because his throat is so dry. Then he changes subject and asks me about some movie he saw or wants to see, that is directed by some director he knows and Robert Rodriguez and he wants to know if I know him. But I am jut too furious and do not get distracted by the change of subject.