lucid

April 16, 2013 - 2/4 hours in - 5-10 minutes - WBTB, SSILD, RC

I slept for two hours, then was awake for two hours, then did 6 SSILD cycles of gradually increasing length, then went back to bed and had this dream after 2 hours.

I forget how I become lucid, other than that it was through inhaling through a closed nose.

I tell four other people, two of whom I know in reality, to do the same thing. They do so and are shocked at the result. I tell them it was possible because we are in a dream. They let out a sigh a relief.

Later I am in the kitchen. I remember my goal to break things of value. Other people are here and I tell them what I am going to do. They don't really want me breaking anything, and I remind them it is a dream. I then begin breaking various vases and plates that are in here. I throw each one on the floor, and part of it breaks realistically, but the largest portion remains unbroken. I pick up a brown one and they want me to skip that one, which I do, and I say that I skipped it just in case I am sleepwalking, although I don't really believe that is a possibility.

I move on to my next goal of burning something of value. My memory of this part is not too good, but I am in the basement trying to burn something in the water heater burner. Other random burners fire out of the pipes near here.

After this I am not sure what I should do next. I remember the third goal of driving around and smashing things, but I know attempts at driving a car ruined previous lucid dreams (twice). But it is all I can think of, so back upstairs, I go out to the garage while feeling in my pocket for the keys. I slightly feel what seems like the key ring, but I cannot make them appear.

The door to the garage faces the garage door to the outside, unlike real life. My car is not here, but someone points out a garage door leading to another part of the garage. I open this door and my car is the same color, but a different shape, and says "PORSCHE" on the back! I am very happy about this, that I have a cool 'dream car.' I somehow have the keys and use the key to open the door.

The seats are a medium-brown leather, and have a new-leather smell, making this the first time for me the sense of smell has been engaged in a lucid dream. I marvel at how real it seems. I rub my hands more often than usual during this part because I never got further than this before. I look for an ignition, a place to put the key, or a button, but there is nothing for starting the car. Something points to a little black plastic thing sticking out of a part of the dash, so I pull it out and it is just the right size to nestle a quarter in it. I do so, and the car starts. Whatever works, I guess.

I finally did it! I back out of the garage and drive straight into the street. The street is not like any specific street in reality. It is wide and has highway lines painted on it, but the lines angle in and out, like there were turn lanes and so forth. The acceleration is unrealistically fast. I slow and turn right. I smash into a few objects, and I also smash into another car, with no damage or impact felt by me.

During this part, lucidity and realism steadily falls. Driving and the scenery is more and more like a video game, but I don't notice at the time. I don't remember the scenery much, but I do remember a road turning into gravel and becoming a causeway high above the landscape, which even in the dream I remember as being like a video game.

I get bored with this eventually and somehow end up back at home. P. is here just lazily sitting, and I am mad that he wasted his time in a lucid dream. Evidently at this point I am just barely lucid, not realizing that P. is not his real self, but just a dream character. Outside the window, three lanes of jammed traffic end abruptly in front of the house, with a truck carrying a large board game, or a sign with a picture of it. The game is called "Mike" and that name is written on the box in cartoony, orange letters. I recognize this as something I dreamed earlier (whether it actually was I don't know) and describe this to P. as something I dreamed earlier. He says he dreamed the same thing and I and someone else in this room am shocked at this. I ask the name of the game in his dream and he gives two other, random names, and then I 'know' he dreamed something different. I want to scold him for wasting his time in a lucid dream, but I don't get to it before I wake up.

Odd WILD. I crashed early after me and my boyfriend bow-chigga-bow-wowed, at about 10pm. I was really pooped from work. Anyway, I woke up a little before 2am because of a wee headache. I tried to go back to sleep, but all I could think about was the advil bottle in the kitchen. Which is probably a good thing, because then it forced me to get up, put on my pjs, get the advil and some water, then go back to bed. Then I was up maybe 20 more minutes waiting for it to kick in. I dozed off for a bit, then woke up again after what felt like maybe 10 minutes.

Then I was primed for the vibrations. Fortunately I was in a better position then that last time when my breathing got weird. I think I forgot to post about that. Anyway, I let the vibrations wash over me, then I phased into a lucid dream like usual. I got out of bed and thought of the prank TOTM. I left the bedroom hoping to find maybe Chris and prank him, but I woke up super fast. Fortunately I was still in the same comfortable position, and I felt vibrations again. I phased easily into another LD again, and I was able to get up, leave the bedroom, go into Chris's bedroom where I found him asleep in his bed. I couldn't think of how to prank him in an April Fool's style. All I could think of was to scare him awake. So I grabbed him and yelled "BOO!!" He woke up and yelled lol. I tried to think of one of the advanced tasks but I jus couldn't I really wanted to do the coal task. Would have been perfect because I was already in my house, and I have Kingsford in my backyard. Dadgummit. I woke up before I could really do anything else.

If it isn't one thing then it's something else haha. I was having trouble with the vibrations and transitions last couple weeks. Then I fix that, now my lucid memory stinks. It's really hard now that I work those 2 extra days a week. That's 2 less chances to LD the way I like, by sleeping in really late. On the bright side, these 2 short LDs happened between 2-3am, instead of my normal 7-10am. I don't get those very often so it's always a plus when I do.

sleep at 1130/1200
wake 3/330 - back to sleep ~4 minor waking ~5 and final waking at 9
took some menthol last night at my first waking - meant to take like 30mg, but after the first cough drop i knew the others weren't going down. so, only got ~10mg. don't think it really effected my dreams. mb i'll just start making myself peppermint tea during a WBTB.

~5 Zombie dream - don't seem to remember much of it anymore (should have used more tags). Zeke (my cat) showed up in three different parts of the dream - just camping by my feet ((he seems to come into my dreams quite often - probably the most likely candidate for a 'shared dream', but no way of confirming it >_<)). i used a key or some other really small thing in my hand to try and pierce one of the Z's brain. It didn't penetrate deep enough, so I used a long pole to pierce the soft spot in the back of the throat and into the brain.

Unknown time - I checked an alarm clock. Then I checked it again. The numbers kept being screwed up so I kept checking it. It kept being screwed up. So I figured 'oh, i must be in a dream'. the whole dream was in my apartment ((this is really odd - don't usually dream places that i'm in a lot. ex- i dream a lot of a house i grew up in, but i didn't dream of that house when i lived there)). I floated around a little - just playing with bodyless space. my mate was there as well - its like we were both disembodied ... he was complaining that he had been waiting for me to 'wake up' for a while.

no idea if that was a true lucid that i lost very quickly or really was more of a 'dreamed i was lucid' situation. its... fuddled in memory.

I got back to sleep really annoyed because my son interrupted a WILD.

I have and FA and am pissed because I didnt get lucid. I feel like I am somehow still in REM and can see that I am having strange colorful blogs in my peripheral vision. I think is hallucinations and confirm that its just REM. I decide I just need to take some choline and Ill have the boost I need.

I got to the kitchen and look for my box that I keep all my supplements in. To my shock and horror I find thats its missing. All that I can think about is how much I spent on supplements this year and now its just all gone. I am so pissed. I see that its getting light out side and the clock is only a little past 4am. I think that if I can just find it and get back to bed Ill have time to dream before the alarm.

I search everyplace I can think of in the house. I find several boxes that looks like my supplement box but they are either empty or full of random junk. I even wake my wife and get her to look. At some point I see the mailman through the window and find this odd. I slow down and start to think. As the dream begins to fade I become lucid.

I wait to DEILD and the vibrations begin right away. I reach my feet out like tentacles reaching out. I find the floor and stand. For some reason I feel an uncontrollable urge to spin. As I do the dream destabilizes and Im in the void again. I try to feel the floor again and there is some mild feeling. Again, I spin beyond my control but this time I dont fight it. I see a blur of light and color and strain to see something form. There is a slight tilting sensation.

I dont remember what happened here but I think I lost lucidity for a moment. I am in my house then front yard. something about my parents being there.

Fully lucid now I am standing in the yard looking at the empty rock house on the corner. I appreciate the full broad daylight for a moment then decide to break in and see what I find. I rush to the side of the house and there are what look like wooden barn door. I do a flying kick and bust the doors open.

I pause remembering my tasks. I quickly draw a stick figure standing in a doorway with my finger. I step back to make sure it looks right. I faintly see it drawn in black graphite. Looks fine to me.

I step in the doorway but notice how dark it is. I summon a flash light from my back and click it on. There is no beam but the house is dimly lit now. It looks like and empty dirty old barn with dirt floors. I decide not to go the rest of the way in.

I walk back to my yard and remember the diamond task. I look around and see a large lump of coal about the size of a baseball by the curb. I pick it up and press my hands over it. I imagine heat and pressures focusing my energy into it. I walk around to keep the dream flowing so I dont wake up. I notice the dodge leaving in my peripherals. It pauses. I realize my wife is leaving with my patents and they are waiting for me. Let it go. The car moves on. Now I feel the coal collapse a little and dust tumbles out.

I open my hands expecting a diamond. Black dust falls out along with a small diamond. I hurry and pick it up afraid to lose it. It looks like a diamond but shaped like a mushroom with a stem. I notice the front door is open and my living room has white tiles. I throw the diamond at the glass storm door intending to break it but the dream dissolves and I decide its time to DJ.

Dream recall from today's nap. More 'dream in dream' stuff.

I was exploring some kind of ancient ruins, there were platforms made of diamond and also some different type of diamond that i knew as 'Crystal clear diamond' which was different in color. I went exploring further into the tunnels and after going through them i was outside and there was a ship, i got on and was talking about something with pirates.
After that i was back at the area with the diamond platforms. I picked up some diamonds for later use, but then suddenly the 'Crystal clear diamond' platform fell and broke apart, i picked up some of it's pieces as well. I went further on and there was some kind of public area and there was lots of people doing various stuff and some advertisement screens. Everything turned into some sort of weird game where i had to stay in the area while literally dodging waves of people to get more coins. There were a few different areas, but i was hanging out in one of the less dense ones.
Later i went to some subway area from there, which still looked similar to ruins. There was shop where i used coins to upgrade my clothing to something blue. I noticed some enemies and i was chasing them through the tunnels. Then dream fades out.
I wake up and notice that binaural beats are over, i take off huge binaural beats generator thing with integrated sleep mask and sound isolation system from my head( ) and fiddle around with settings, i also enable the 'force lucidity' mode, then i get this thing back on my head and fall asleep.
I was at school and i was doing some stuff in huge classroom, suddenly i hear very loud binaural beats for a second from the 'force lucidity' mode i activated earlier, i immediately recall that i was planning to try to stand/move on all fours to help with transformations. And so i did, i stood up on all fours and started running, i am quick and it is really easy(I think my body changed physically, but visually it was the same) and quite awesome, i run between a bunch of DCs and then i break through window, fall down a few meters and land. I keep running and look around, i am in the ruins area from before, i decide to try transforming into a dragon again, but no dice. I then run(still on all fours) through some open door and then around a few rooms, but then dream fades out.
I wake up, the binaural generator is out again so i take it off(and forget to do an RC), i memorize recall and go to a different room, the room was empty and i was waiting for something or someone around the door. Then dream ends and i wake up properly.

I was with S. Everything was black and white like an old movie. We were in some kind of warehouse, where there were alot of large square wooden crates. We were talking about dreams, and I quite quickly came to the realization that I was dreaming.
I did a Nose pinch RC to confirm that I was in fact dreaming. I actually did two. (I have grown accustomed to doing two Nose Pinch RCs in real life whenever I check if I'm dreaming. It never hurts to double check.)
I may have lost lucidity rather quickly though. Because me and S decided to participate in some kind of competition. That or, this segment of the dream took place before we were in the warehouse and I became lucid.
When we came outside, we seemed to be in some kind of industrial/shipping port area. There were two long identical docks. They were similar down to the arrangements of the boxes on them. This competition was between me and S, and we were seeing who could jump/climb over the boxes on our separate docks and get to the end first.
The rules of the competition were completely explained to me. I'm not entirely sure how. They just sort of came into my head.
I had a false awakening.
I was in a hospital room. It was quite large, and the walls were painted a tawny brown color. There was a young nurse, and a doctor, who looked a little like my dad. There was a couch on the far side of the room, and a large potted palm tree.
The nurse explained that I had been knocked out in an accident several months ago, and while I was out they had conducted three surgeries on me. One had removed my hip bone. The second had realigned my teeth, and the third was a brain surgery. The nurse proceeded to tell me that because of the brain surgery, I might have some memory loss.
I realized that I couldn't feel my legs. I tried to move them, but instead I would just thrust in my lower stomach and move my hips up a little. And this was the worst pain I've ever felt in a dream. Not only did my hips hurt, but my legs were completely immobile. I tried to move my legs a couple different times, but each time, I was met with this pain.
The doctor handed me some before and after X rays, trying to explain to me that my hip bone had been removed, and anything below my waistline was no good anymore.
This isn't right... I'm still dreaming!
Almost immediately, I stand up on the hospital bed, and push my hands out to either side, causing the entire floor of the hospital to explode. As soon as I did that, the dream lost all clarity, then the clarity returned, but the dream had changed.
I was still on the destroyed hospital. But everything was overgrown and rusted, as though many years had passed. The damage to the hospital was still there.
I began to regain lucidity. One of the steel beams that the hospital was constructed out of had been bent out overhanging the outside wall of the building when I destroyed the top of it. It was bent in a narrow V shape with both ends still connected to the structure. But the inside of the bent beam was filled with dirt and grasses and wildflowers had grown on it. The beam had rusted into a bright red color.
I stood out on the very point. I did a nose pinch RC once more, I was ready to jump off into the area around me. The area was completely overgrown, and many of the buildings in the nearby city were partially destroyed and overgrown with plants.
A dream character approached me and distracted me. He looked sort of like me, but younger and with shorter hair. His nose looked unusual with one large nostril.
He began blowing air out of his nose, causing the nostril to expand. After each breath, his nostril would shrink, but not back to its original size. With each breath, the nostril got bigger until it took up most of his face. It may sound almost humorous, but in the way the dream portrayed it, it was actually quite disgusting. I lost lucidity and woke up.

04/16/13

Field of Dreams
I am lying on a blanket in a green field, I have just entered a WILD. The field is a very nice place, and a gentle breeze is blowing across the grass. I see I am alone in the field. I try to get up but there seems to be something holding me down. I can't move. I wonder if I am experiencing sleep paralysis. That seems odd, I haven't had a problem with that in the past. I try again to get up, but when I find I can't move, I decide to let myself relax and enjoy the feel of the soft grass beneath me and the gentle breeze blowing over me.

But I feel like I'm not alone… so I don't want to stay still. I look around and I don't see anyone. But I feel them there. I lie back in the grass and try to feel who might be around me. I sense hostile intent. I don't like the idea of being in sleep paralysis and surrounded by enemies. So I focus on the song Dark Power of Abyss and try to do an Immortal Fire. The spell goes off, though it isn't as powerful as it usually is since I can't move. What it does do is break my sleep paralysis so I can get up. I look around and I don't see anyone, there is no sign that there was anyone there at all. I focus on opening a portal to the moon, I remember plans to continue healing. A portal opens and I go through to the balancing pools. When I get there I see that Nomad is already there, as is Winter. I go over to Winter and focus healing energy through her, hoping to keep her fibromyalgia under control. I direct healing energy to Nomad's foot to get rid of the remnants of the sores he has there. After that is done I sink into the balancing pools. It is very relaxing. I sink into the warm water and fall asleep in the dream. 

The Goblin King
I am with a group of other people at the entrance to a castle. I recognize the people I am with. Nomad, Spike, Bakura, Altaïr are all there. What I notice is that while I recognize them all, everyone looks like a Templar. I look like a Templar. I wonder why we are all dressed as Templars. Templars are a dream sign, so I do a reality check and become fully lucid. There is a group of Templars going into the castle, and we go into the castle with that group. No one notices us there and the gates close behind us. Nomad says we have to find out where the Goblin King is being held. I look around for some sign that might tell me where he might be. I see one door that has a couple Templar guards on each side of it. I wonder if that might be where we need to go. It doesn't look like they're even letting Templars through the door. I get over closer to them and notice they are watching me closely. I focus on reading them telepathically. The door does indeed lead to a dungeon, and that is where the Goblin King is locked up. They are under orders to keep everyone out except for a select few Templars. It also appears that the guards are under orders to kill the prisoner if there is any sign of a rescue attempt. I move on before anyone becomes too suspicious. I tell the others I know where the Goblin King is being held. I am thinking one of us will have to disguise ourselves as a specific Templar when I see someone approaching the door. I pull invisibility cloaks from my pockets and pass them around, we slip through the door behind the Templar guard that they allow through. On the way down to the dungeon Altaïr takes out the single Templar, who has a key to the lower areas. The dungeon is empty except for the Goblin King and a couple more Templars guarding his cell.

Nomad takes out one of the guards and Spike takes out the other. Inside the cell we find there is a goblin chained to the far wall, he looks very cranky. After letting him know who we are we try to unlock the chains, but the key doesn't fit. I use the Harry Potter unlock spell alohamora to open the locks and free the prisoner. He is clearly not in the mood to make a stealthy exit… he charges out of the room like he thinks he can take on every Templar in the place by himself. We follow him out of the dungeon and get to the main level of the castle just as he is bursting through the door into the main courtyard. Nomad fires off a flare, no doubt indicating it is ok to make a move now. I hear a commotion from outside the castle, it sounds like there is an army attacking the castle. The Goblin King is under attack, though no one is attacking the rest of us since we still look like Templars. I use Battery and call down lightning to strike Templars as they attack the Goblin King. No one seems to know exactly where the lightning is coming from. They notice when it appears several Templars are helping the Goblin King, however. Something is smashing at the main gate of the castle. Nomad gets over near the gate and pulls the lever that opens it, allowing a swarm of goblins into the castle. Now everything is chaos. I make sure to switch back to my usual Assassin robes, I don't want to be a target for the goblins. I use the song Damage, Inc. to call fireballs to hit Templars. The fight doesn't take long before the entire place is overrun by goblins. I see a portal in the back of the castle with the last few Templars retreating through it. The portal closes just before the goblins reach it. I am thinking that must be the last of them, and it is here I wake.

16.04.2013

Ada and Double Suicide and Ada's and Eva's Polarity (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

After using self-hypnosis to get into the lucid dreaming state within 5-10 minutes, along with 5 minute dream-like states that occurred maybe 4 times or so at most (20 minutes of instant lucid dreaming), I know I'm getting better at inducing WILDs just from sitting down on a chair and going through a preset command script I used in an e-book that I practiced for maybe 2-3 months.

My hands and feet were becoming paralyzed, my body felt relaxed, the imagination was wild, and now for the dream.

I'm in an area similar to the image above me, except the environment was 10-20 times larger, and the colors were more dull and gray as well. I didn't mind this since this was my first time inducing a WILD through self-hypnosis, so the environment itself would be redefined later on through my DEILD attempts that worked successfully.

The sky above me were mixed with turquoise and dark gray, and the clouds absorbed the color of it was well. There's a moon there too, but I didn't pay attention to it much, and there were some points in the dream where it just felt like the lighting came out of nowhere. The right of me are the same borders in the image above, except they extended to the chest rather than the waist or mid-thigh region.

They were more metallic than a brick-composition, I noticed that the dark pit was gargantuan, and yet I wasn't as bothered by it than I should have been. Everything felt in control, to some extent, I decided that I would meet the Ada dream character that showed up occasionally in my dream journals. I decided instead of passively acknowledging her, I would just make a dream where I would ask her the point of her existence.

So after absorbing the environment for maybe 1-2 minutes overall, I decided to look forward, and I see someone in a red dress with black hair that's chained to a huge cylindrical column. I had two thoughts at the time.


1. I wanted to have sex with her for some odd reason. Someone completely in a submissive state that had no chance of escape and looked with concern on what I would do. It's like she was putting up a facial expression of "Try Me."

2. I wanted to break the chains off of her and talk to her


I decided to go with the second option since it's kind of pointless having sex in the first place if my intention was to talk to someone. I walk forward, maybe 20-30 feet away from her, then I bend my elbows upwards, but kept them at the same length as the higher regions of my arm, and started to declare passively,

"Isn't it funny that you would be chained like this when you're the one that saves others?"


I get closer to her, and she doesn't really put much effort in responding or even trying to have any kind of ambition to argue with me. I decided to work on the left side (my left side) of the part where she's chained. I don't know what I did, but I broke the chains off with my bare hands.

I step back and let her get used to moving, since I'm sure she was locked up like that for months now, considering after the last scare she gave me, I wondered if she was chained because my subconscious decided to make her a threat from that experience. I didn't think about it too much, and then she started to wrap her arms around me and then she slowly glides me down to the floor.

It's still difficult to recall how it felt, since most of this self-hypnotic induced lucid dream was visuals combined with short pressing sensations in my mind. Her image started to alter between long hair with a different face and short hair with the preset image I had of her from Resident Evil 4 and Resident Evil 6.

After this awkward hug from her, she gets up and decides to rest her elbows on the metal handrail, and she has her feet surprisingly close to the edge from almost falling off the dark pit. I started feeling that she wanted to go inside the darkness, but I eventually stopped speculating on it and realized she's just waiting for me to ask her something.

It takes a while for me to formulate something to talk about, since I'm still trying to solidify the dream state, and it's kind of hard for me to recall exactly what I stated since I decided to put off the recall for about 30 minutes after the self-hypnosis session was over.

I didn't really greet her at all, I mostly just started asking questions to her about a few random things. I decided I should get a little closer to her, but not too close. I don't know why I was afraid to be near her, she didn't really have any kind of negative vibe, I guess that I felt things were a little too easy for me.

So I decided to go near the handrail as well and sat down to place my legs between one of the balusters. I wrapped my right arm around this same baluster, and I braced my face against its cold metallic structure. Most of the sensations were obviously done through pure thought and will, and I continued to hold on tightly to the baluster. I looked down into the darkness, and almost felt like dipping inside the pit as well.

It seemed to me that she was just waiting for me to ask if we would want to jump into the darkness together. Since my recall of what was being said is mediocre, I'll still try to do my best. I continued looking into the darkness, passively acknowledging her with my left peripheral vision, and asked her,


"How can I get you to talk to me more?"


She responds, "Just do more of this and you'll be fine."


I reply,

"Doesn't it feel weird that getting into the dream state is so easy now, when I had such a difficult time inducing for months?"


She states back to my response,

"Well, that's because you had a predisposition that your subconscious was a trickster. It was due to that video you saw of a person explaining how dreams worked, and how the subconscious presumably worked. You saw that using that mindset to make it look as if you're being tested or challeneged motivated you because there was a thrill that would be apparent if you rised to that challenge or test."


I reply,

"But now I know that doesn't have to be the case. It's useless trying to think everything is a challenge when I can just start acknowleding how easy it is when I just set my expectations to be in this dream state."


She replies (or maybe I continued from what I said, I can't remember too well),


"But you know that based on what you learned about your mind, or anyone's mind, it doesn't have to be that way. It's only that way because the subconscious simply does what you desire, even if its a conditioned response you're not aware of. When you start thinking things will be easier, and you keep practicing that it will be that way, there is no conflict. There is no fight or challenge, and you realize you will finally get what you want."

She eventually stops talking for a bit and continues to look at the environment in front of her. I'm not sure if she was just staring at nothing and wanted to fixate at a random point so she could collect her thoughts, or just was enjoying the view of the dull environment. I started to feel slightly cold, but it wasn't too concerning, and then she comes back and asks, as if she knew what I was going to ask to her,


"Are you not grateful for what your mind is giving you?"


I reply,


"Yes, but it's not enough..."


She declares,

"You never really had to do much in your life other than to just work hard and be lucky. But now working hard isn't enough for you because you still need to be able to retain the memory of what you learned more right?"


"Exactly," I replied.


The silence comes back again, and there were a few more things that I probably talked to her about that I don't really want to post here. After a while, I start to realize that after I told her she could trascend that retention of information to reality and have complete access to the confines of my mind, I noticed she was slowly picking up my thoughts while we're both in the dream state.

This felt awkward, having an experience that implied that there was some kind of dichotomy, even though it was all from the same source, except that it was delegated through another projection, which was her. So we started to use less of our mouths and more of of a implied telepathic communication with each other. Eventually, how we discussed with each other didn't matter, there was a mix of actual movement of the dreaming body lips and pure thought.

I noticed my waking life hands here completely "frozen" or they felt like there wasn't any kind of effort being put into them, but that didn't really distract me with the stabilization since I just had to redirect my focus back to the environment. My waking life eyes were completely shut, and it would be physically impossible for me to open them unless I made the command and desire to do so.


So that cleared up my problem with having my eyes open from time to time before in my lucid dreams, thanks to self-hypnosis, it's just a few command cues and into the dream land I go!

I come back to the environment and Ada, and then she asks me,

"Do you want to jump inside the darkness?"

I was still afraid of what was going to happen, and I decided to say nothing and she what she would say next. I realized the environment we were in was completely different from the image above, and was now like this:

"Save me," as she quickly jumps over the handrail and dives into the darkness.

My dream body starts moving on its own, and I held onto the very bottom of the metal baluster from the handrail to place my feet firmly on the side of the edge before it was cut off from the darkness to push myself at a faster rate in hopes to catch.


I started to feel the wind blowing my face, and I quickly see her making a content descent towards the darkness, waiting for me to hold her and be with her to wherever the dark void takes us. I twist my body to the left since she was on the left side, and realized she only said save me to lure me into touching her body.

I wrapped my whole body around her, and at first I felt this was going to be a double suicide since we both probably didn't know what would happen after mindlessly jumping off the edge into the darkenss. In a way, I felt she knew was doing, but because I doubt she had her own intentions, especially since this was all incubated, I had fears that would would die and I would just wake up.


Our bodies started to rotate, which only made the descent faster and more intense, and as the darkenss and the random dark energy rushes through us, we finally hit rock bottom.

But we were perfectly fine, it felt as if there was no gravity in this state, and our bodies immeidately flipped in their normal positions rather than the diving head first position from before. We floated around a bit, and Ada is now wearing her default Resident Evil 6 outfit.

The environment was shifting a lot, between the two background images I showed above, and it felt kind of pointless going through the dive if we were going to be in alternating places. Whatever the reason, I decided not to question it and asked her on her existence in my dreams.

"I'm not really suppose to have a defined set of characteristics, but I am the opposite of Eva."

I started to ask her why, and she states,

"Because you created expectations for her to be a higher aspect of yourself, so if you tried to find her, you would have a difficult time even communicating with that kind of projection from your mind because most of the time, you're not able to sustain a positive attitude for a very long time. And since you have to reach a higher state, it would be difficult for her to come down to your level."

So I asked,

"So if you're the opposite of her, I'm guessing you're easier to communicate...but doesn't that make you feel "degraded"?"

She responds,

"No, it's nothing like that, it may seem like it's like that at first glance, but it goes even deeper than that. You don't have that kind of black and white mindset, you're in the middle, and we both exist to just be representations of your personas. But that doesn't mean I'm evil or that she's good, it's just done to delegate certain abilities so that there isn't a conflict."

"Conflict?" "With what?"


"With yourself."

I felt that trying to be smart would get me nowhere, and I decided that it's best that I should prepare to leave and go back to the waking state again. I told Ada to take care, and slowly went back to the dream entrance, but then I stopped mid-way and realize I wasn't really being too friendly with her. Instead of apologizing, I asked her if it's alright if I left her here.

"We really don't mind because we'll be with you anyway."

I told her farewell, and slowly rise back from the dream state, and it took maybe 3-5 minutes just to get my hand back into bending right.


I never knew self-hypnosis would be so effective if you kept working at it. All those long hours that I thought I wasted has finally coming to an end, and all I have to do is, just like what this fortune cookie said:


"Affirm, visualize it, believe it, and it will actualize itself."


That's what self-hypnosis is really all about, and the moment you realize it, there's nothing to stop you other than yourself.

I'll probably go through a 2-3 hour self-hypnosis session since that one was maybe 1 hour to 90 minutes. I'll plan things I want to do, and just do my best to keep them in mind and have them in reality in the dreams.

It's getting to the point where it's not overactive imagination, but rather just being able to get into the suggestive state that so many people have trouble doing because they just don't remember...it's all in your mind. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Location: gf's apartment
Bedtime: 22:30
First wakeup: 01:30
Second wakeup: 07:20
Final wakeup: 10:00

Phone scratches (lucid dream)
I were in my gf's room. I had the phone in the bedside table, but picked it up from there. I looked at the phone and discovered a large & hard scratch on the phone. I didn't believe in it and I thought it must be a dream I am in.

Right after it became black for a second and then I woke up in real life and thought that I was correct about that it was a dream.
unsure if I shall count this as a lucid dream. Not 100% sure of it, but quite a 90%(?) that I were aware in the dream. Just didn't get to make reality check or get further.

Old 'friend' (fragment)
I had given my old Habbo account to this old 'friend' Laura (knew her some years ago). And she were playing the game a lot but somehow her room was very empty (not completely empty, but just a couple of furnitures).

Inside a game (dream)
Me and somebody were inside a game. It was some kind of labyrinth almost, we went across weird gardens etc. It somehow reminded me of lego too. While in the game we also listened to a techno radio named NE Radio. We found potatoe chips and I picked some up and put them in my wallet so I could eat them later if I wanted.

The basic military education test (dream)
I was on the basic military education test, it was located in some ICA grocery store.
It was mostly girls there, and most of them looked skinny. The leaders was 50/50 men and womans, and they were also quite skinny. The guys who were there looked quite so young, around 15 year old or so.
However, the very big leader/boss of the test were a woman in maybe 40 year age and she were turned on by me.
She started to jacking off me so I got an erection. Then somehow she sent me a Facebook link that lead to some forum page where she had written about she seeking fk buddies.

Woke up in the middle of the night after Fragment1, could not fall asleep so began day dreaming. An hour and a half passed in this insomnia, which you could say was an involuntary WBTB.

Fragment1: Reading DV discussion

Dream2[DILD]: [This was a very long dream and I forgot some parts of it. I was going in and out of lucidity.] My first memory is that I am in front of our old home, on the street and it is night. I am lucid at this point. There are a number of DCs in front of me and they get scared, point at the sky. I look and there are some clouds coming, some supposedly scary sound and a bigger than usual moon. Something is coming towards us. I decide to go in the building.

The next thing I remember is I wake up in my old room and bed non-lucid (FA). I begin to move things around via TK and think, “I have become so good at this in my dreams, that I can finally do it irl”. I am a bit afraid of falling asleep, so I decide to stay awake in the room. I do things to keep myself awake, turning on more lights, other stuff I can’t remember. I spend a really long time there. I look out the window and notice that the nearby building is closer that it really is, but I totally disregard this, looking at some fancy handbags.

At some point a good DC appears, his presence helps me get lucid again. The moment he is there, I already know that it is a dream again. I sit on a school desk, he sits near me and we interact, no sure if we talk, or he just stays there, while I have all these thoughts about lucidity. I am very glad about the whole thing. We spend a long time there. Soon the room changes and I am in some kind of shop, looking at cosmetics, non-lucid. There is a lovely lip gloss made of honey, and I consider purchasing it. The female owner of the shop wants us out though, so the good DC helps me take the lip gloss out of the shop, I put it in his pocket and we walk out.

I am in a building and enter a new room. Because the good DC is with me, I regain lucidity again. I am very happy. There is more interaction with him, just talking and thinking about the dream. This time he is the actor Robin Williams. I tell him that despite the fact that he is very friendly and nice, I am already bored of spending so much time with this character, so I try to change him to the singer Robbie Williams. I do that very easily, change him, but do not succeed in getting Robbie, but some other person, I don’t like the way he looks.

At that point, there are bad DCs outside the room, throwing some grenades at the building. This is a dream after all, and I shouldn’t pay too much attention to that. But as I look out of the window, there are more of them and another grenade hits the building, cracking the wall. I lose my lucidity, it is time for me to get out of there. I try to take my things, but I don’t have any here, and I am in my pyjamas! This is the third floor and I go down the stairs in direction basement.

On the stairs, while evacuating the house with other DCs, I regain my lucidly again and decide to make a portal or passage through the basement, so that I get out of there. When I reach the basement a see a very long corridor, where the DCs from the building are running. At this point, I become very concerned that I am starting to forget parts of the dream, I wonder if there is any way for me to review it, but continue following the DC crowd. We reach a room full of stairs and I climb all of them, I am at the last one when I finally awake.

Dream3: We are in our old place and a squirrel gets in. It is very aggressive and jumps on everything, me including. I don’t like it, so I throw it out of the window. My mom is worried that it might have hurt itself, but I see it on the tree. It tries to get into our place, so I close all the windows. In my hand I am holding a squirrel tail, I touch it and remark how soft and fluffy it really is.

Dream4: My parents and I are queuing for Burger King. In front of us there are two girls who hold drinks on their heads and do some crazy moves. That irritates me. It is our turn to order but I have no idea what they have because there are no pictures. My mom tells me to go first and I tell the woman behind the counter – Liz from Nip/Tuck, that I haven’t been to BK over a year, so I forgot what they have. I tell my mom to order and she gets some chicken burger, I order the same. We go to McDonalds to sit there, we are just going to order some drinks and sit.

Fragment5: I am drawing something again.

This happened between 6.00 am and 10.30 am. I woke up two or three times for real, all the other awakenings were false.

The dream(s)

First one: I wake up, I'm in my room. My brother and mother are here and she says something that I know she would never ever say, so I perform a reality check. I'm standing in front of a wall and trying to push my hand through it, but the wall is solid. I then try to push the fingers of my left hand through my right hand. No success. I decide that these reality checks are not reliable and try another one. I hold my nose and mouth shut and try to breathe. This one confirms that I am dreaming. I'm in the room again and I try to fly or at least hover but I can't seem to do it. A thought is on my mind: "What if this turns into a nightmare like the last time?" Something begins to appear and I close my eyes shut. I'm not ready to face my demons, not yet. I wake up.

Second one: I wake up in my bed, do a reality check and it confirms that I'm dreaming. I try to get up, but something holds my arm and starts biting it. I don't know what else to do but to close my eyes shut and wake up.

Third one: I wake up in my bed, get up, do a reality check and I know that I'm dreaming. I go to the balcony and want to jump just to get out of the room quickly. Before doing this, I want to be absolutely sure so I shut my nose and mouth and try to breathe. I feel the air coming down my throat and filling my lungs. I jump off the balcony and I'm outside. I try to fly, but it doesn't go as smoothly as I want it to be. I then find myself in a crowded place. As I said, I tried before to fly up so high so that I can see our Mother Earth, but failed to do so. There is an astronaut somewhere in the crowd so I go to him and ask him if he could show me the Earth from outer space. He agrees, we chat a little, but it turns out he can't do it. I'm dissapointed, but I have other things on mind that I want to try while I'm in this state. I tell him: It's ok. How about having sex instead? He agrees, we both take our clothes off and he is inside me in a split second. It hurts because I obviously am not ready. I get no pleasure at all so I tell him to stop.

Fourth: I can't remember what exactly happened before, all I know is that I performed a reality check and that I'm dreaming. I'm in the living room in my old apartment with my brother and another person. I want to tell my brother something like: "Look, I am dreaming. You are dreaming." I don't want to put an end to this dream because of this so I drop the idea. During this dream and the previous ones it seems I have something in my eyes that makes them watery and at times I cannot see clearly. I tried in the previous dreams with Clarity now! and some other stuff like that but it didn't work. So now, in this fourth dream I remember that rubbing my hands together is one of the techniques to make my dream more vivid and to increase clarity. I do that and the vividness of the colors dramatically improves. I'm so happy that this works, so I tell my brother what I just did.

Fifth: I wake up, do a reality check and realise that I'm dreaming. I get up and jump off the balcony. I try once again to fly and this time it is successful. I fly with great speed up in the sky and then go back to the ground. I wonder what I should do now and an idea comes to mind. This time I'm determined to meet a friend of mine, so I tell the old man that's standing in front of me that in a little while I will turn around and when I do that, I will see my friend S. standing there. After a while I turn around but no one's there. I decide to try again, but this time I give more info about her, something like: Her name is...she comes from...she was here... and so on. (As I'm writing this, I realise that it was very important to do this, because I also have a cousin named S., and I remember that one night before going to sleep I was determined to dream of my friend S. and become lucid. Instead I dreamt of my cousin just because I focused more on the name than on the person.) I wait a bit, then turn around. My friend is not there. I keep walking as something tells me to go on. I finally find my friend behind the corner of a building and cannot believe my eyes. We chat a bit (private stuff) and say goodbye. Then I hear a song and I'm determined to memorise the lyrics so that I can write them when I wake up. I fail to do so.

Sixth: I wake up, do a reality check and jump off the balcony. I find myself in my old neighbourhood. Nothing much happens here, I see a bunch of guys, each one of them has a twin and we try to do something together but I can't remember what. I see a girl lying on the ground not far from us. She is naked and I go to her and we start grinding. It feels nice. I want to take it slow, but she moves faster and faster and then I wake up. This is the only time I can confirm that the waking is real.

nutha DILD. not really into the thought of writing the rest of the dream down, (i can actually recall the last 2 REM periods/nite for the past 4 nights but been too laze to write about em), but the lucid part i can do.

started out as yet another dream where i inexplicably found myself in high school again at age 20 and really irritated and confused by the whole situation. (recurring theme since i graduated, but has been occurring frequently lately. must've dreamt it at least 6x in the past month. the irritation is a new thing.) i ended up walking out of the classroom permanently, my intention was to go home. walking down the school's hallways. typical white painted brick, high walls, skylit. huge lush murals by students, historical bent, started out with ancient egyptian scenes, later aztec jungle. one of them turned out (as in dreams you just know these things) to be painted by the boyfriend of a girl i know who's been grating on me lately. he signed it at the bottom, Matthew Camp David. (obviously, not his IRL name.) i sought to find the mural that she had painted-- it existed undoubtedly. i began to rush. the murals grew spare and minimal. at one point i thought i had found it, but because it was signed with an alias, i couldn't be sure. kept looking. i was halfway down a plain hallway when lucidity hit, prob belatedly recognizing the girl as a dreamsign. i had stopped moving at this point. thought a moment, kept walking. i wanted to go outside. my footsteps felt like i was slapping, like i was wearing tap shoes with no sound. i picked the second door i came to. considered that it might not be that easy. indeed, there was an elevator just inside the door. closed my eyes, visualized something other than a wall beyond the elevator doors. in my mind, the beginnings of a foyer. satisfied, i opened the doors, and there it was, set up like a public waiting room, bright like a greenhouse. a hallway to the outdoors was just past. i walked toward it-- too quickly, i decided halfway, remembering that i had intended to take detailed note of my surroundings for recall's sake. i backtracked. i looked around. there mightve been 4 rows of seating on either side of me. bright, lite vinyl, blue, and at one instant orange. mid century airport waiting room chairs. looked up to see many hanging sculptures, each like a large kite. blue cloth stretched over stick or wire frames, triangular modules in maybe 15 different permutations throughout the room. the ceiling was fairly high. i counted three tiers of differently shaped windows, then was ready to move on. in my hurry i felt the dream destabilize. i was rapidly resurfacing, and despite effort to maintain visuals, i found myself in my bed. i reality check'd. then i fell back asleep, probably within the minute. i remember that dream too, where the highlight was me sitting in a tree watching three boys i barely knew in high school rearranging the lines in a parking lot by dragging rows around like it was carpet.

as far as "observing the room" goes i was kind of at a loss at the time about what to do after the first 10 seconds of ogling. now i'm like, i could have sat down in one of the chairs or something, or walked around at least a little. come to think of it, my lack of interaction with the environment mustve contributed to my premature awakening.

the content of my dreams the past 2 weeks have been exceptionally boring i.e. earthbound, unabstracted, all generally based around the same several themes of high school, ex-workplace, normal activity in my city, and that insufferable girl. i've been trying to recognize them as dreamsigns. there's still a good deal of typical weirdshit dream phenomena going on here and there, but it never characterizes the foundation of the dreams, which lately only ever get up to tier 4 fantastic on a scale of 1-11, where i'd say my "normal zone" is about 6-9.

4/15/13

DILD + DEILD

I was standing on a mini ski slope at night. There were 2 steep but small jumps that spread across the whole run. It looked more like a trough between two sharp bumps. I decide to practice my spins so I jog up a few dozen feet and I find some banana skis. I start sliding right before the jumps and try a 180. I end up completing a 360. I was surprised how easy it was. I go again and land a 180.

I decide to try it with a snowboard so I go looking for boots. I go inside a building where I see a man around 28 years old talking with someone else in the hallway. I slip into the room to my right and it is a gym. I see some boots on the ground, and I know they are his. They have giant laces and I get halfway through putting them on when he walks in. He comments on my using his boots so I take them off.

He then takes me back to where I am supposed to be. I am no longer "me" anymore. I am a young kid around 13 years old. I decide to start being an asshole. (The first thing I did, I forgot.) I then follow the man into another room. There is a guy behind a counter serving snacks. There is a warming light and a metal tray holding a bunch of seeds or some small snack. I grab like 6 and put them in my mouth. I pretend like I don't like them and spit them ferociously back into the tray. That way, they would have the most spread and be the hardest to pick out.

I finally get taken into a classroom. I sit down and the teacher asks for a volunteer for something. No one responds. The guy who brought me here offers me up because I "got out of ____ by ____" (I don't remember)

The dream skips and I become lucid. I decide to go look for some girls. I walk into a room and there is a wedding going on. There are around 60 people here. I make eye contact with two girls and nod at them. They get up silently and follow me across the hall. I start kissing one and insert. After a little bit I look back and she has a really short buzz cut. She is now a dude. I go over the other chick. We make out for awhile but she isn't super hot. I decide I can do better so I go back to the wedding.

I nod at a smoking hot girl. She comes out with me and we start kissing. She wants to put a bag over her head and kiss through it. After the last transforming girl I am pretty skeptical. I ask, "Are you like a vampire or something?" She said no, but did admit to something (I forgot) that led me to go fishing back at the wedding again.

I go back again and something interferes again. I lose the dream.

DEILD

I am back in the room. I decide the only move left is to go for the bride. I was still being an asshole anyway. I can't just nod the bride away from her wedding so I approach the front. I say that there is an emergency and she has to come outside. I finally get a look at her. She is asian and pretty cute, although not the type of person I usually go for in dreams. Just then the priest says, "If anyone objects , now is the time to speak." I feel like I should have waited for that moment. The bride is reluctant to go with me. I urge her saying it is an emergency. She follows me to my room across the hall. I go in for the kiss. The moment out lips touch, she bites down hard. She then pulls back and yells, "are you kidding me!?" and she slaps me. My lip is really hurting from the bite. I kind of feel like I deserve it. She storms out into the hall where she sees one of her friends approaching her. The friend offers to help. The bride says she is fine but someone will have to call the police.

I have another dream that I am lucid but don't fully grasp what that means. It's like I just thought of it as HI but it was a full dream. It's not good enough to add to my count.

5:53AM - DILD?

For some reason I park my car on 20th street and start walking carrying a diaper bag.
I am lucid but continue on. I see what looks like my old friend Shawn's company truck parked at the icehouse. I walk into it on purpose and laugh thinking Shawn would recognize me. The windows are too tinted to see in so I walk around to the driver side. The driver has his window down but he is not Shawn. He looks like some grizzled old man from Shadow Run on the Genesis. I quickly walk away. I continue walking and start thinking about how far I need to walk. It seems like I was going to Price Cutter. I wonder why I don't just fly there.

I wake up briefly and think about the dream.

Soon I am non-lucid in a backward version of my kitchen. I see my sis in law, Megan. There is a green box of crackers on the counter with a yellow label and the brand name "Sonofarms" (Sono Farms?) written in red. I said, "look it's Son of man crackers." Megan looks at me like I'm stupid. No "It looks like it reads Son of man but its son of farms . She doesn't get it. I realize my logic is a little off. I say, "Nevermind it's just a dream anyway." I wake up.

#164 - 5:09AM - WILD/OBE

I have a little trouble transition during the vibrations but finally get up. I feel sick and drunk but make it out of my bedroom. The house is unnaturally dark and I feel the dream fading. I decide to stabilize by getting on my hands and knees and feeling the hardwood. I beg the dream for light. Give me light. It's day time. My voice sounds weak and hoarse like I need to clear my throat. I try to clear it several times but stopped because that is a physical action in a nonphysical world. I let it go.

Soon I notice there is some pre-dawn light coming from the windows. Better, but I still feel unstable. I feel the area were there was once a floor furnace (that we still need to fix) and pull the board up. I look inside and consider going in but it's just a pitch black abyss. Hmmm I'd rather not.

I look around and notice a flickering light from outside. My first thought is lightning but it's more consistent like a strobe light. I make my way to the back door and stand on the deck. I look out but can't see the source of light. There is a deep valley and woods beyond my yard and the privacy fence is missing. I ignore this.

Blutbad time! I fully transform and see my hands become wolf-like with claws. My right hand looks a little too human and I have to focus some more fur on it. That's better. I try to let out a deep roar but I actually howl instead. I kind of laugh and try again. That one was better. Oh shit I forgot to draw it first! I turn around to draw on the outside of the house but when I reach up I see my werewolf hand. Doh I can't think of anything else to draw and I know that if I spend too much time on it I will wake up, so I move on forgetting the China task completely.

I look over to the neighbor's house and feel like I want to terrorize them in my werewolf form. I leap off the deck and notice several small exploding gas fires in my yard. I look at them briefly but don't really feel that interested in it.

I leap/fly to the window and notice that its barred. I easily rip it off like tin foil and smash my face through the glass. I peer in roaring viscously but no one is there. I see a cozy quaint living in room in the back part of the house. I feel confused as this is a totally backwards. I look to my right down a hallway but the dream goes black.

I spend some time in the void DEILDing by rubbing my hands but my son wakes me. I notice my hands twitching from effort.

http://grimm.wikia.com/wiki/Wesen