non-lucid

Rude Receptionist

I'm talking to a clerk at the front desk of the hotel at which we're staying. Somebody mentions cherries. I'm excited at the chance to practice my Spanish.

"Oh, oh, I know this one. . . . Cer--, uh . . . cerezas!" I grin around the room. "That's 'cherries' in Spanish. I learned that earlier today." [IRL, that's true. And during the dream, I used the memory trick that I invented yesterday for that word: "cereza" is sort of a combination of "cereal" and "cabeza."]

The clerk exhales, shaking her head. She says something about never being very good at Spanish, herself. I think she sounds too defeatist. Then someone comes into the hotel, and she calls him over. "Mr. Branagh!"

Surprised, I look closely at the newcomer. Indeed, it's Kenneth Branagh. I'm impressed at how calm the receptionist remains in the face of a movie star. I guess she's prepared for that, since actors probably stay in hotels a lot. Then she starts talking to him about all of these hotel policies about publicity posters. (He's carrying a bunch of posters, presumably with the intent to advertise his newest project by putting them up around the hotel.) It really seems to me that she's splitting hairs, and I realize she's not only being calm--she's being downright rude. Oh, dear.

Old-Fashioned Bathroom

I enter the bathroom in an old-fashioned wooden building. I'm not sure if I saw the sign correctly when I chose this door, so I might have gone into the women's bathroom by mistake. I look around to check, and indeed, most of the dozens of people in here are middle-aged women. I spot two other males, though, both my own age. Also, I'm using a urinal right now, which has no business being in a women's bathroom. As I'm looking around, one of the other boys says loudly that he thinks he chose the wrong bathroom. The other two of us assure him that there must be something unusual going on, because we made the same mistake. I wonder if maybe this bathroom was designed to be non-segregated. As in, there are two doors, one labeled "men" and one "women," but they both lead to the same room.

Runaway Grandmother

I hand my grandma a walking stick and turn around for a second, surveying the multi-story shopping complex that we're exploring. I hear gasps from behind me, and whirl around to see Grandma falling down the wide staircase behind us. It has a few dozen steps, and she bounces about three times on the way down. Then she gets up and starts hobbling away. She must have tried to put her weight on the stick and accidentally lifted herself off the ground, putting the stick off-balance and causing the whole assembly to fall over backwards, down the stairs. I probably should have given her a shoulder to lean on, or something. In any case, it's my job to go bring her back. As I head down the stairs, someone reminds me to be prepared for her to be stubborn about coming back: she gets recalcitrant if she's just been injured.

I run after her down a hallway and see that she's taken an escalator upwards. I get on behind her, but without missing a beat she climbs over the railing and onto a different escalator headed the same way. Wow, she really is being stubborn. I decide not to climb over--I'll just meet her at the top. But when I look ahead, I see that my escalator bends around and goes back down, while hers just continues straight up. Dammit, what an absurd design! It will be a disaster if she gets away. Even if I can't bring her back, I at least have to keep an eye on her. Now, there's another escalator following the same line as mine that goes halfway down before bending around to go back up. The semicircular railings of the two escalators come close enough that I should be able to climb over both of them. I'm reluctant, because the railing will be trying to pull me sideways as I climb over, so I could easily get injured. But I don't have much choice. I do it.

At the top, I realize that in all the confusion, I've lost track of Grandma. Did I get ahead of her? Is she ahead of me? Where might she have gone from here? Her distinctive gray hair is nowhere to be seen. Someone else from our original party comes walking up to me and asks me how it's going. I'm forced to admit that I think I've lost Grandma.

Pranking Little Kids

An old friend of mine laughingly shows me a small, simple geometric carving (similar to a die) with the word "BOOBS" on one side. He also shows me a table he's made, documenting the reactions of youngish kids when given this carving. These kids are all about the age where they'd be receiving their first sex education, so the idea is that they should be very embarrassed by it. It's amusing to us older kids since theoretically we know better than to be embarrassed by sex. Anyway, his results aren't disappointing: only one kid of the dozen or so he's pranked has managed to get through the encounter without blushing.

Maybe half an hour later, I give the carving back to my friend, joking that I couldn't find anyone who actually wanted to take it from me.

at the end of the dream i drempt i was on a tv show called friends. it was like on the set for sure but i didn't really see any cameras around. just me and two other guys in a somewhat empty living room. the men were making jokes back in forth from across the room as they hit a ruber kickball back and fourth throughout the house.
Ah yes! earlier in the dream there was a big seminar or class going on with a lot of peopole. alec was there and he gave a presentation on why the book thief was one of the greatest books ever. later Angela Yip came up to the front, but a really hot version of Angela yip who was more developed, went to the front of the audience and refuted every one of alec's statements. she even stood up in an animatedmaner on the podium wearing like tap dancing shoes. she got all up in alec's face arguing about the book.
after the play we were talking and then she randomly said i love you and then started kissing me. i didnt say anything back and after a while she started getting worried asking why i didnt say anthing back. i told her to slow down, but got curious about what was under those tight jeans she had on her pussy was really wet and i licked it and it tasted Terrible. it was soooo sour i immediiatley came up trying to play it off like i wasnt disgusted. but she knew. i walked away and then the dream progresed. i should have realized i was dreaming because i have not seeen angela for over 8 years nor was the small asian girl ever as hot as she was in the dream. next time i will do a reality check when i have any sort of encounter with an old friend

09.13.2012

3 Anime Girls Line art (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

All I remember is that on a sheet of paper, or maybe on a computer screen, are three anime girls in a train-like formation.

The girl in front, it was hard to recall if she was in the missionary position or standing like the other two. All of them had an awkward expression on their faces, and the whole lineart color was light blue. They were naked as well, and it's kind of hard to tell if one of them had penis that was penetrating the girl resting on her back.

I can't wait to collect all the data from the participants and make some interesting conclusions. (The shared dreaming password experiment, not the 3 anime girls)

Last night I had a nightmare that my lymphoma had returned. I found 2 lumps in my neck and was sure that it was back. That dream I woke up from...

Later I dreamt that I was with my ex boy-friend driving around in a car that we had bought together. We were sort of arguing about it since I bought the car with the money I got back from taxes and he got to keep it because it was in his name when we broke up.

09.12.2012

Team Rocket Tries to Hack Me (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This dream was kind of fun, even though I'm being hunted, with the sliding down a steep hill and all.

A nap that isn't too random to actually get some substance of action for once. I slept around 3 PM until 6 PM.

Damn, the recall on this one....and just for a freaking nap too....how is it in this case, I'm remembering my naps, which are basically 1-3 hours of sleeping compared to me sleeping for 4-5 hours and then going back for another 2, or 3 if I'm lucky, and getting horrible recall....

Must be REM rebound, and the experiences of this nap feeling pretty strong....hmmmm...this sleeping style I'm taking is weird, taking naps late in the afternoon, or early night, and then staying up for maybe 3-4 more hours.


I remember two people are after me in some way, I just feel like I'm being hunted. The environment outside consists of mostly autumn leaves on the ground. It was a large and spacious area, and I believe it had at least one STEEP hill going downwards on your right when you look at this screen. I'm pretty sure there's also a hill going up as well covered in gold-ish brown autumn leaves.

There were a lot of trees, most were very, very tall, and their color almost looked like a mix between dark brown and black, they look like they were fading away. But because the environment was so freaking huge, you sort of ignore how many tall trees there were, and they were so spread out, it wouldn't be a distraction at all if you happened to see two of them together if you were sliding down.

The skies are not apparent at all, because it seems the trees themselves would extend even towards space. The atmosphere's color becomes apparent from these trees blocking all signs of it, and the color is a light muddy brown mixed in with some swamp-ish green.

It's hanging there, and I could even see small white specks of light around it as well, but just barely, since most of my focus was sliding down and going up two steep hills that are spread out. I see James, a member of Team Rocket, looking for something. He appeared in a 3D form, like a Nintendo 64 version of him.

He's around one of those tall black trees, and at first, I didn't see him as a threat, even though he is the only person other than myself in the dream at the time. He turns around, but he's barely making any kind of reaction towards me. It's very hard to pick up what kind of mood he's in.

In fact, the more I think about, I think this is just a person wearing mask with James smiling, because the face has a mouth opened, but it looks like a cut out, and also, the eyes themselves are completely black, and probably has some small hole in each of them, so that whoever is wearing the mask can see of course.

I feel that at some point in this dream, it had frequent dream resets.


I felt like attacking James, to try and get his attention, since he had his back turned on me. From seeing the back of him, I could tell he's wearing the default team Team Rocket costume. The black (or dark gray) gloves, boots, and belt along with the long white pants tucked into the boots with the shirt tucked into the pants as well.

I'm wondering if this guy is just some kind of lifeless dream character, it's like he's not taking any effort in at least pretend to feel like he's in pain from me kicking his legs. He turns around, finally....and I quickly look at his hands, and realize he has a machine gun....

I waste no time to quickly dash before I'm covered in bullets, and from that point on, the calmness of the whole dream is completely eradicated, it's all a rush now. Run or die. Even when I quickly move to cover, which is basically hiding behind on of the many dark trees spread out.

It seems James is a little slow in his reflexes, since I could still see him shooting at empty space that I was at a few seconds ago..maybe I was too quick, but it didn't feel like I really was that fast though.

I'm having some trouble in remembering the gaps between those dream shifts and resets, but one prominent moment was that I'm aware that Jessie is now part of the hunt with James to find and possibly kill me.

I recall sliding down those same steep hill I mentioned before covered completely with autumn leaves everywhere. It felt so exhilarating, the simple act of going down this steep hill, I could just get a sense of how it would feel as the wind clashes with my body. This moment of sliding down itself temporarily alleviated the feelings of being hunted.

I recall seeing Jessie near the end of the steep hill, and even though she's far away from me, I could zoom in on her, and it seems she's ready to attack me. She has her mouth open smiling at me, but it was hard for me to distinguish if she's smiling at the thought of killing or injuring me, or maybe she's really eager to meet me and possibly not do anything bad to me at all.

But because of my preconception of Team Rocket, if James was going to shoot me from before, obviously Jessie wouldn't mind doing the same. But there was something completely different about her compared to James.

One, she looked like the exact counterpart in the show, and she didn't have cutouts on her eyes and mouth as James did in this dream, she looked like the real projection of Jessie. and not a person wearing a mask.

She wasn't wearing her version of the default costume the suspicious James was wearing. She wore a Black version of it, with the same Red "R" logo between her chest. I most likely take another turn somewhere to avoid her.

Oh and she had Red Hair as well, rather than the Magenta colored one that shows up and is changed around with the Red color a lot throughout the series.

Then I have another dream shift where I'm going down the hill again, maybe a new hill, but it's going down like the other one before, and the moment I passed through one tree, still feeling like I'm being hunted, I could just sense that something distinct would be on the ground.

I look to my right, since I was sliding down (I think) on the left side of the dark tree before I decided to turn my head. I quickly noticed that they was 1-2 Blackberry Curve phones, like the one I have in waking life. So I make 180 degree twirl to stop the momentum of sliding down this steep hill to go hide behind the tree where the Blackberry phones were contained.

I immediately take one of the phones, or both of them, and replaced them with duplicates. I don't know why I did this at all, since I'm shifting a lot between feeling these non-lucid experiences and just letting the forces in motion as I'm seeing myself and others in third person throughout the majority of the dream.

As soon as I replace the phones with duplicates or fakes, I see myself grinning as I'm holding one of the phones with my right hand. It seems that as I'm sliding down the hill again, I'm also probably using the trackball on the Blackberry to scroll through some information. I see all of this occurring when I'm watching myself in third person.

I noticed that I'm wearing a jacket, and judging by how rare it is for me to wear jackets, it looks a lot like the brown leather jacket I have in waking. I'm probably wearing generic dark pants as well.

After a while, I'm shifted into another perspective in third person where I get a mental image of a screen that has the format of:

Username: ••••••••
Password: ••••••••

And I saw the black circles being entered, so I couldn't tell what the username or password was at all. The screen login had a very light magenta bar on top of it that went horizontal, and it was thin as well. Maybe it was Jessie hacking into something.

My eyes were wide opened, and my mouth is slightly hanging down a bit, as if I went with a trance state of mind for a moment. My eyes were blank, like information was being inserted rapidly, and all that I could remember was the "••••••••" being put inside the Username and Password slots.

The experience was like this video of Light Yagami (brown haired guy) getting his memories of the Death note back, excluding him going batshit crazy again of course:

Then there's another dream shift (yes, it's all very confusing with which hill I'm on, but bear with me), and now I'm sliding down the hill on the OTHER side, which means I would've went up to it if I kept sliding down from the other hill.

I see Jessie again, waiting for me, and I quickly hide, and suddenly, I have a feeling that I have a machine gun, an Uzi specifically because of how light-weight it felt on my hand. I quickly exposed myself to see if I could aim for Jessie, but I had a hunch that shooting anyone in this dream is not necessary when I can just use the trees spread out for cover.

In fact, whether or not I did have a machine gun was very hard to tell in this dream, I could've shadowed the motion of preparing to shoot a machine gun, or maybe the gun was just that lightweight to make it seem as if I'm holding nothing.

Anyway, I didn't see Jessie anymore when I exposed myself to try and aim at someone, so I assumed they went to another spot, or disappeared completely. However, I still had strong feelings that I was being followed and hunted still.

Then the dream shifts (another gap in my recall unfortunately) again where I'm not inside some kind of base. It's mostly shades of blue and turquoise, which is completely different from the orange, gold-ish brown, and yellow setting from outside. And to the right of me is some extremely muscular guy. It's very hard to tell what his visage looks like, since he's pretty tall. I looked to my left, and I see Jessie stops right where she is and looks at me.

I look at her, and for some weird reason, the same tall muscular guy that was really a big blur to me seemed to scare Jessie. She was kind of freaked out, but that was probably because I motioned my eyes towards that same guy to my right, as if it was me warning her that she's going to get it if she tries anything funny with me.

She makes a weird expression on her face like she's tired, so I guess she gives up on whatever it is she's trying to do or say to me.

After that, that's all I remember.

Meats and Sweets

I'm trying to get food at a cafeteria. I've already been through the line once, but somehow I just got a lot of different kinds of meat. Even though I'm not exactly a vegetarian, I feel bad, since I've eaten meat almost every day this week. So I need to go through again, but I don't want to wait patiently in line, so I try to dart in and snag food where there are gaps. After a while I look at my tray again, and apparently I've been grabbing mostly desserts and other simple carbs. Dammit, why is it so hard to put together a decent meal?

Bus Escape

A man's being chased. He passes a building where two female celebrity actors are having a women-only event. It's about to start and there are a whole line of women outside, waiting to get in. Most of them are topless; I guess that's required in order to gain admission, maybe. Anyway, the man pushes his way through the crowd to try to hide inside. They decide to let him hide there for a while. But eventually he has to leave. A city bus driver offers to help him escape, so the man gets in and the bus starts careening around the city. Sometimes there are groups of people visible on the sidewalk that cheer when the bus goes by. They think the bus is coming to pick them up, and they're happy about it because they've been waiting for an unusually long time.

Glacier Simulation

I'm watching an exposition of various different computer models for the behavior of glaciers in the face of climate change. The camera flies over a 3D time-lapse of different glaciers forming and moving, floating on a dark sea. The present model is vaguely unsettling, with swooping camera movements and lots of little ice formations forming and disappearing everywhere. I mutter to myself that it's kind of scary. Then there are people playing in the water, throwing ice at each other, or something. Someone accidentally dies. The creator of this simulation is shocked, saying that he never guessed something like this might happen. He'd just wanted to make a fun game, I guess.

Frags:

• eating pea soup

I am at a town house, other people my age are here too but I don't see anyone I recognize in real life. I look out the window and I see the beach and the ocean horizon. All of a sudden a storm hits. Water rises up very close to the window of the town house. We are all trapped inside. A tree falls and hits the window. The house has become rickety and eventually just plain old crazy. By leaning in a certain part of the house, it will cause the house to move entirely in that direction and thus change the layout of everything. This has happened a couple of times. The change is so wide that the floor would become the ceiling, which makes me 'fall' to the ceiling. I am like "Woooah!" and I hit the "floor" but am not hurt. . Then things seem to have become normal, this one kid that came in I asked him if he say how crazy the house was moving around from the outside. He laughed and shook his head to imply that he has seen it.

Non-dream Dream

I could only remember bits and pieces of my dream(s) last night.

I am at a strange resort with my wife and I am driving a boat. Nobody is speaking English. I am being forced to dance. We go to some island for 11 hours and play baseball there. It is now morning and we are laying out on the ship deck. The waitress is taking drink orders and I ask for a bloody Mary. The waitress makes fun of me and says that I should get a drink with alcohol (hmm). Next we are trying to surf and I am having trouble standing on the board. My cousins L&C are doing it easily and making fun of me.

Possible explanations:

Resort: I recently went on a vacation to an all inclusive resort.
Nobody speaking English: My vacation was in Mexico.
Forced to dance: I hate dancing.

I'm in a road and I see a girl. She's asian. She's filipina. I want to talk to her. I see that she's getting on a school bus and I want to maximize my chances of talking to her. But I don't want to leave where I am. So I get on the bus and she sits in the front, on left side where I sit 3 sits from the front on the right side.

So now, I am trying to stop the bus by going to the front so I can get off. This was a bad idea, I thought. But now it's no use. As the bus is going, I try to remember where my destination is so I can walk back. From this point on, I try to remember where the bus is going. Where are we stopping?

Then I try talking to the girl but it seems I got the wrong person. I look foward and there she was. All of the sudden, I hear a clash. We're now outside of the bus and an old man is trying to jump over the bus and fails. And he falls clipping his foot over the other side of the bus' roof. He laughs it off and gets back up.

Then, we are not sitting in a room. A gym room. The cieling is high and the kids are listening. We are sitting a line formation. I look around and see mostly girls in this room. It seems like are going to do tumbling. In the background, near the side of the room, I spot two climb-able ropes. You know, the ones where you climb up, touch the pad and climb down.

As I walk around, I spot these two girls. I sit down. One of these girls ask this girl if she wants to see the tattoo she got on her left breast. She doesn't tell me to come so I reply "I've seen a breast, you know." I look around somemore and I see a girl climbing the very-right rope and going down.

I go there. Look up. And start climbing. It seems easy. My hands easily swift. But at the top, I see a button. I cannot reach it for some reason. My arms will not budge. So I go down. As I go down, I feel like the gravity is not as strong as I once thought. It feels like I'm in zero gravity. It takes a while for me to go down until when I get near the bottom, it really sets in and I start to drop.

I climb again and I reach the top. Once again, my arms will not budge so I touch the top button with my the top of my head. I then gently glide down becuase of the gravity. As soon I get down, I'm handed a notepad with 4 other classes names and rows next to it. Attraction is the only one I can remember. The only guy name I can remember? Dejan.

It was a weird dream.

09-12-2012 -- [Not much going on in the dream world for the most part, for the last week or so, but couldn't sleep well last night, woke a lot, and tons of dream bits. Most didn't come out long enough or detailed enough to post as full dreams, or at least I can't remember enough.]

Trying to use the toilet at the Hickory house (or perhaps in the back yard) but something is wrong. A part in the tank that controls refilling and flushing, but resembles a plunger, has stretched and broke, so the toilet is no longer working right. I pull out the broken part, that fits on the rest largely like a sleeve, and it comes off easy, and ought to be easy to replace. About that time, mom comes on the scene, says I have done it wrong, the entire thing needs to come out and be replaced, and I've damaged everything horribly.

I try to explain that the part that was broken and which I removed was very easy to take out, and should be easy to replace, but even if the entire thing has to be replaced, The broken part I took out couldn't cause any other damage, and it is no big deal. She won't listen, yells and screams, tells me to never try and fix anything in the house again, or even touch anything in the house again, and then in practically the next breath, orders me to fix other stuff in the bathroom.

I have had enough, and tell her no. I am leaving. She screams I am not, and tries to lock me in the house. I force my way out the door, and jog away from her. Oddly enough, though she is very heavy, she manages to keep up with me, and I just barely stay out of her grasp. Neither of us seems to know how she keeps up with me, except anger, and so I am running across streets, and turning around and dodging. I try to catch a bus, but mom is too lose, so I start running down Crescent, instead, heading down toward Marshall. Somehow she got trapped in crowds around the Braille Institute, and I manage to get some distance between us.

As I reach about the nursery, there is a mother, daughter and baby in carriage that spot me, spot mom chasing after me, and decide to interfere. They start chasing after me as well, Though I have been running toward Marshall, I end up in Smith's Food King, the mother still chasing after me, trying to maintain sight so she can lead my mother to me. I finally have enough, call for the manager of the store, and explain I don't know this lady, but she is stalking me. He takes me in the back, away from her, and is talking about keeping us separated, but I just rush out the loading docks at the back of the store, and figure I'll escape that way. I circle behind the store to a chain link fence that I can climb and escape the area, just to find the mother is now there with her husband and an entire second family, and they are all trying to catch me. They refuse to understand my mom was the one who was wrong in this situation, and are determined to catch me and help punish me, regardless. I can't even get far enough away to call Bonnie C for a ride to try and get out of the area. Lousy dream!

---

Most of this is missing, but a couple of the cooler bits were here, so ... I am in a sort of stadium, watching some sort of sport, perhaps water polo or something unusual like that. Along with the scoreboard showing the score, there is another one showing the purchase of food, drinks and souvenirs. And as the bars on these fill up, and then reset, I can claim a portion of the funds brought in. But they are moving very slowly, and I can see a huge amount of stuff being bought or sold.

I wander around to try and figure out what is going on. At first I think scans as things are thrown away aren't reading properly, but eventually I realize I only get the partial credit for the stuff sold from one food stand, one drink stand, and two souvenir stands, so what I have to do is attract more attention to my stands, to get more sales there, and earn more money. Soon I find myself back at the table I had been watching things from. But now there is a hint of wrestling, a hint of a balloon convention, and slowly more than a hint of a comic book convention. The person sitting across the table from me is Peter David, and though I have no idea what we have been talking about, he is passing me an autographed dragon shirt that he is giving to me because he has enjoyed our conversation. He says it is only a 2X, which wouldn't normally fit me, but he also says it is a very large 2X, and since we're both large guys and it fits him ... it fits, and I thank him for the great souvenir.

---

I am at the Adventurers Club on a very slow night, very early in the evening, standing in the main salon. The doors to the library are open for seating for the first show, but there is nobody here but me and maybe one or two others. I keep catching sight of actors heading backstage to animate wall characters to announce shows and such, but they keep noticing there is nobody to announce to, and stop themselves after they've barely begun, so I'm missing all the great shows. Pretty sure I spotted Graham as Hathaway for a moment.

---

Somehow in a shopping mall, being chased by aliens and taken prisoner of a sort. Am being handcuffed or led around, and am just trying to figure out what is going on. Was rather cool and interesting, except none of it stays in memory, so this fragment is mostly worthless to express it.

---

Am on a bus riding along, listening to people talking behind me. One of them seems somehow familiar, and I think I know him from somewhere, so am mentioning stuff connected to Disney or something. He just thinks I am nuts. Then he says something about Mammoth Cave, and I finally place him. His name is Jim something, and he wrote a small book I read about the cave (not Jim Borden, and not one of Roger Brucker's books, but a book that only exists in this dream). I tell him I recognize him now, loved his book, and wrote him a letter about it a few weeks before. He remembers my letter, and now we're kind of friends.

This brings into my mind the outline of a dream I can remember having recently, about a combination of the regular dreams I used to have that were a cross between Brookhurst moon park and Tom Sawyer's Island, and Mammoth Cave, with exploring small, local passageways, and trying to find lost connections that lead into much larger sections of the cave. [In the dream it was a dream I was remembering. In real life, I don't know if it was a real dream I had sometime recently, or was created from whole cloth within this dream.]

Soon most of the passengers have gotten off the bus, and we're at another stop where Graham Murphy is getting off the bus. As soon as he steps out in front of his house, he is surrounded by people (including a quartet dressed up as Disney Carolers) and starts leading them in Christmas carols. He seems to sing that style of song quite well. It is very nice.

---

Seems like there should be one more fragment here, but can't remember it now. If it comes back, I may edit this to add it.

He visited me in my dorm room and we were having fun, and it was going to lead to sex. Audrey was my roommate and I felt bad because I forgot she was in there, and halfway through us giggling and being noisy she left. However, I talked to her about it later and she said she honestly didn't care. Then Ryan's girlfriend broke up with him, and he was super sad so I went to support him. It was selfish support though, because I just want to get with him. I left Todd, and i was really embarrassed he was in my room. I didn't want anyone to know, because I didn't want to be labeled as a slut and I didn't want to kill my chances with Ryan. Then I went back to the room, and he was on fb chat. He was crying and looking at his old gf's page. Weird sauce.

Was at a national convention and Romney and some other guy were running for president. I wanted to vote for Romney. But then he sat down and his little folding chair fell from under him and it set off a domino effect of everyone's folding chairs falling over. It was so fucking funny and everyone's faces were so surprised and hilarious. I was laughing really hard.

Went to a house in Hawaii with the Hallgrens. They had one on Oahu and one on Maui, and since the one on Oahu already had a ton of people at it, Carly and I stayed at the Maui house.
I remember driving on a cute motorcycle to get to the house, and even though it was just a one seater, I definitely had someone on the back. I think it was Gaby.
Michael Burley was there, and he was older and had a bunch of 20-somethings friends there. I remember talking to a pretty girl, and she had a motorcycle too and we talked about ours. I think all of us were crocheting hats for some reason. That's pretty much all I remember.

Had a dream last night about coming home for a school break. I remember driving back from Washington with Morgan, and her friend was in the car with us. The next thing I remember is that I'm home, but I totally avoid seeing my parents like the plague. I get the feeling that something really bad is going to happen if I see them.
I instantly go to find Matthew. When I find him, I run and jump into his arms and we passionately make out Feels really good, and I feel a wave of relief wash over me. We are hanging out with Morgan and Patrick and DJ again, and I'm really happy. He just holds my hand and lets me know he cares.
I wake up two days later, and I had just been camping with Matthew. We walk into a supermarket, and he had just gotten out of track practice or something. He hugs me and tells me that he's so happy to spend time with me, but he knows that my energy isn't completely genuine and that he can tell I'm sad. He says that I can cry with him any time. All the sudden, I feel a ton of emotions all at once and just start crying with him holding me in the middle of the supermarket. But it doesn't necessarily feel sad, it just feels relieving to have someone hold me while I cry. It felt good.

I think this totally relates to the fact that I've been missing Matt a lot and I want to be with him. Also, I am having a hard time relating to people at college because of the lack of sobriety, so my emotions have been pent up. I need to find an outlet in order to release my emotions.

I dreamt that I was at a rock concert with Lenny and my dad. It was outside, and we wanted to get right up to the front row. We waited in line for what seemed like hours, and finally when they opened the gates, we and everyone else ran like crazy people to get close to the stage. Lenny and I made it right next to the stage, and I don't know where my dad went. Then, a few minutes before the concert started, I had to pee really bad. I made Lenny go with me to the bathroom, even though he didn't want to lose our spots. We went and then came back, and sure enough we lost our spots. We tried battling our way to the front again, but everyone just kept crowding around us and pushing us.