non-lucid

I had a dream that there were gigantic plant-beasts living in a friend's pool. For some reason, one of them decided that it wanted to eat my brother (who, for whatever reason, in this dream was also a plant). This culminated in scrambling through a maze-like complex of buildings, until the monster could be subdued by others.

In the dream, I was hanging out with S and T, I was really pissed at S and refusing to talk to him, T and I were going to some sort of party at somebody's ranch... at the end of the night, we left (my mother came and picked us up) and I realized I'd forgotten to say goodbye, so we turned around.

I am a young east Indian woman living in an impoverished area with near a beach. I live with my husband, his parents, and another woman whom I call Auntie. My mother-in-law (MIL) and Auntie dote on me because I have no family of my own and I am pregnant. My husband and my father-in-law (FIL) work long hours during the day and are not around very often. In many ways the family is very traditional, but in other ways surprisingly liberal, as they permitted the marriage to my husband even though I was already pregnant with someone else's child. MIL and Auntie are convinced the child will be a boy, FIL remains silent on the issue, and my husband (who is always very kind to me) thinks it will be a girl becuase everyone else thinks it will be a boy. I do not tell my family, but somehow I instinctively or psychically know what the gender of the child is, and it is a girl.

The dream jumps ahead a few months and I have given birth to a girl like I knew I would. Despite wanting a boy, MIL and Auntie are happy to have a new addition to the family. The dreams jumps ahead again (it does this frequently) to when I am pregnant with my second child. I psychically know the child will be a boy but say nothing to the family since I know they are all hoping for a boy anyway. About the time I give birth to my son, FIL retires and it is up to my husband to support all of us by himself. We care very much for each other but we rarely get to spend time along together because of family obligations or one or both of us being too exhausted.

The dreams jumps ahead again. My daughter is now five years old and my son is now two. I am pregnant yet again. I have grown very close to MIL and Auntie but their traditional superstitions have them believing that bad fortune will befall the family soon. Unlike the previous pregnancies I have trouble telling what gender this child will be. I think it is a boy, though every time I close my eyes, put my hands on my belly and concentrate, a horrible sense of coldness and dread overcome me, but not because I sence anything evil, more like I am being engulfed in a vast, endless dark void. I do not tell anyone of these feelings.

Bad fortune does seem to befall the family early in my pregnancy though, as my husband loses his job, Auntie turns to prostituion for money, MIL falls ill and FIL becomes very depressed. FIL will not eat and soon he falls sick and dies. We have very little money from Auntie's street walking to buy food, and thus definately cannot afford to pay for creamation or ceremonial rites, so we have no choice but to leave FIL's body rotting in the streets just outside of our dismal hovel. MIL is soon consumed by a similar dispair that took FIL and we all fear that she will die soon. One night Auntie goes out to work the streets and never returns and all we can do is assume the worst.

When I am eight months pregnant a tall skinny man arrives at the door of our meger lodgings and claims to be my brother (he does look like one of my bros in real life actually). He says that he is worried about me having so many children and thinks that I should stop. My husband and MIL throw him out and warn him never to come back. The next morning there is a basket of fresh white lotus flowers outside of our door, which I am able to sell to street vendors and pedestrians for a few coins each because they are considered good luck by many people. MIL wants me to keep one for myself but I ignore her and sell the last one because I want to be able to afford to feed my newborn when it comes along. Almost immediately a terrible pain erupts in my abdomen and blood starts gushing from my vagina. I somehow make my way home, but it is too late - I have miscarried what would have been my second son. MIL and my husband are very sad and they shun me for awhile, which makes my grief over losing my third child even worse.

The dreams jumps ahead again and our family is experiencing more favourable times. I am close to MIL again, who is no longer sick or depressed, my husband is employed again, our surviving children are healthy and being educated, and I am pregnant again. This one is going to be a girl and I tell my MIL that I am able to predict the gender of the child, but didn't say anything before out of fear of being accused of insanity or witchcraft and being thrown out of the house. To my surprise MIL is very happy at my psychic ability and tries to convince me to use my powers to make money. I refuse because I fear that if I reveal to some expecting couples that they will have a girl rather than a boy, they will then voluntarily abort the female fetus or abandon the baby girl upon birth (which is a very real problem in India actually).


The dream ends there.

I believe this may be a past life dream.

The beginning and middle of this dream are too fragmented to remember. Here is what I can remember from the ending.


I am walking my friend's dog (a sheltie) at night. It is snowing and there is a frozen fountain to my right and a throng of people to my left. The people are lined up along a train track with digital cameras and photo capable cell phones in hand, waiting eagerly in the cold for a train. There is supposed to be a dragon riding on the train but it is invisible and will only occasionally appear on camera. I drop the dog leash and join the crowd, suddenly having my own camera, just as the train approaches. It is a freight train and all of the cars behind the engine are flat slabs. The night sky is suddenly aflame with hundreds of flashes that make it difficult to see but I just close my eyes and click away. When the train is gone, eveyone reviews their photos. One by one they discover that the dragon has not appeared for them. I check my camera and find that in some shots there is an image of a long chinese looking dragon laying on the the flat freight cars. The dragon has black and grey scales, and white fur(?) and claws. In some of the pictures the dragon appears to be fading in and out of visibility. Since many people in the large crowd are angry that they waited in the cold for nothing, I am reluctant at first to reveal that I have captured the dragon's image because I fear a violent reaction. Some people walk away in dissapointment, but others stick around and congratulate me.

Original entry dated July 22, 2008:

Dreamed something about a restaurant... something about houses in a suburban area, it was a nice area... something about being a con artist, trying to talk people into buying a restaurant... and we were eating chocolate bars with forks and knives. That's all that I remember.

November 23, 2008
Had a creepy dream a few days ago:
Dreamed that someone was standing outside my room, in the dark, and would whisper "Bubble! Come here." I would wake up and look around and go back to sleep, and it would happen again. It happened 3 times before I finally yelled at them to shut up. It didn't happen again.

Random nightmare about Nazis, but for some reason they were dressed as circus clowns.

The next night I had a dream I was playing a shitty internet Flash game that kept crashing. It was all about some sort of reverse-World of Warcraft world and one of the main characters in it was an annoying sea goddess.

Followed by a weird nightmare that was like a combination of a documentary on drug runners and Stephen King's "Christine":

Dreamed there were these guys who gathered and smuggled this plant you had to chew to get high. If you got caught you were looking at a lot of time in prison. Somehow, in the dream, I got coerced into helping these guys. Unfortunately, the feds showed up, and I was the only person who didn't have anywhere to hide. For whatever reason, though, they didn't see me, because I hid the only place I could think of - behind the place's guard dog.

This was followed by a sequence that's scrambled in my brain but led to me standing outside of a rundown/abandoned shack. I'd driven there in a small fuchsia sports car, it looked like a newer Mustang. There was a broken down car there. The house was inhabited by the ghost of a small child; the broken down car was possessed. Little kid ghost was terrified of the car. I approached the car, and the inside began to fill up with water which streamed down the windows as the engine revved. Like any sane human being, I flipped out and ran back to my own car (whose door was open) while little kid ghost tagged along (by holding onto my hair?). I said "you can't go with me, I don't know what to do with you" but it cried and was insistent and I was about to be run over by a possessed demon car, so I didn't argue. I had trouble getting into my car because my legs wouldn't cooperate for some reason (I was so scared my knees had locked). Somehow I managed to hit the gas and take off, with the possessed car in pursuit. I managed to lose it along the way - I guess it couldn't go outside a certain radius - but my own car was out of control, I was cutting people off and driving in the wrong lane of traffic, and my brakes didn't work. I was yelling at little ghost kid to hit the brakes, but all it would do was cry. I then pulled up outside of a small family restaurant owned by a Yugoslavian family and walked inside. In the dream, I knew the family, but didn't know how to explain what just happened.

Something about... a museum... or some kind of exhibit... there were menacing punk rockers... or really like a combination of that and 50s greasers...

Me being upset because they turned my sculpture into some sort of weird hanging chandelier piece and it wasn't accurate to the concept drawing at all...

Something about... I don't know, Broadway opera singers in weird pink fluffy costumes and big fake wigs floating through a giant cotton candy machine.

Then I was fighting with Mom about plane tickets, she'd bought tickets home for everyone but me...

Had a creepy dream that I was in a house in the middle of nowhere. It had belonged to long-dead relatives, one in particular a woman, who had left behind a quilt and some other odds and ends, but all were relics from the 1800s. In any case, the house had little ghost-children who wandered around outside and on the porch, even during daylight. They wanted me to come outside and play. I was understandably reluctant.

Then dreamed I was swinging, only I couldnt get the swing going, and when I did, I kept falling off.

Dream starts off with my dad and myself at a giant church which is also a busy tourist destination, though the denomination is not clear. The building is square and seems identical on each side, and it five several stories tall. The outside of the church has bricked pathways that encircle the building and each each side (compass direction) of the building is painted different bright, solid colours. I cannot remember all of them but recall that the south side of the building was painted dark blues and either dark purples or greens. The crowds are made up of many people of different backgrounds, as well as non-humans. There are alien like creature that look like they just stepped out of a science fiction film like Star Wars, while others are antropormorpic animals, dressed in human clothing. No one is bothered by the wide range of non-human creatures, as this is quite normal in this dream world and though I am not bothered by it, I do take note of it because in the dream I have never encountered non-human civilians before.

There is a a small castle or fortress to the north of the church, that is much bigger and made of plain grey bricks. The whole place is set upon a cliff and a tan brick wall keeps people from falling off the edge into a churning ocean. Between the pathways and buildings are elaborate and beautiful gardens filled with many fragrant flowers. It is forbidden by law to touch or damage the flowers and benches are provided all along the cobbled pathways so that people can sit and admire them.

Along the pathways themselves are many sculptures, both abstract and figurative, that seem to have nothing to do with religion, made in a variety of different media. My dad and I are between the north end of the church and the fortress, looking at a brown (bronze?) sculpture. My dad asks me "Do you see him?" and points up. There is a little figure of a burly, bearded man dressed as a lumber jack and carrying a large axe over his shoulder. The rest of the statue itself looks like a crude replica of the Eiffel Tower. My dad is reading a plaque on the side of the statue about what it represents. I leave him to have a quick look around and encircle the church (and thus discover its different coloured sides) before I find my dad on the east side looking at some plastic, light blue and white triangular peices that are slightly curled, that I think are supposed to represent waves of water or something.

I am feeling impatient because I want to leave the crowded pathways and look inside the church, for that is I thought we had come there for. Eventually we do made our way inside, through the south entrance (as that is the only one open, the others are sealed). The inside seems warm and inviting, everything is made of wood and it looks like a simple cottage with a long hall down the middle. To the immediate right there is a small dining room where several (Christian) nuns sit around a dining table in front of empty plates and glasses made of fine porceline. They are dressed casually (wool sweaters, cotton skirts, slippers) and their nun headresses are grey, not black. They at first ignore us and the stready flow of people coming in and out of the entrance. I notice, and point out to my dad, burning embers on the dark brown wooded floor of the dining room, which the nuns have not seen or simply ignore.

We begin to stamp the embers out, as some of them are quite large and could possibly cause a fire, and only then does one elderly nun take notice of what we are doing and joins us in our stamping. When the embers are out she provides no possible explaination of what could have caused it but takes us on a personal tour which ends at a cramped but homely kitchen at the end of the hall. Many of the rooms along the way are sealed with heavy wooden doors and I cannot see inside them, while others are open, though windowless and dark and look mearly like the inside of a chapel with rows of pews and alters filled with candles, some burning and some not. Despite this there are not religious icons or statues anywhere and the only indictation that the building is a church so far is the casually dressed nuns walking the halls.

The elderly nun (who looks like the mother from James Cameron's Titanic) takes us to the second floor which is a special priviledge that the rest of the tourists are not afforded apparently, and it is much different in style the the main floor. Monks in brown cloaks wander the halls silently and avoid making eye contact with anyone and go out of their way to walk around. The walls and floors are made of plain grey bricks and there are many twisting passageways along the hall that go either up or down, yet do not contain stairs and hare been paved smooth and flat.

I ask the nun why this is so and she merely responds that it is to accomadate the many tourists in wheelchairs or those pushing strollers. She also mentions that the basement levels can only be reached by these twisting passages. At the end of one hall there is a large bay window and to the left of that there is a large red curtain from which silent monks enter and leave. A black man with a white turban, dressed in a dark blue robe decorated with silver five pointed stars and crescent moons, stares silently out of the window with a very sad expression on his face. He glances over his shoulder briefly and makes eye contact with me, before quickly looking away and returning his sad gaze out the window. I have a strong desire to speak with him, as I sense he holds much wisdom, but I do not because he seems so sad and unapproachable.

To the right of the bay window, there are two of the twisting passages, one going up and one going down. From the windowless passage going down an eerie green glow eminates. The passage going up has a single wooden frame window with a vase of daisies and seems more welcoming.

As I sit there and contemplate which passage I would like to take, the one going up (consciousness, the easy path) or the one going down (unconsciousness, the harder path) a tour group emerges from the passage going down. It seems to be a group of children lead by a middle aged man but they are all wearing radioactive protective suits that cover there whole bodies and trudge with great weariness as if their trek has been long and arduous. The sight of them needed such protection to explore the lower realm kind of scares me into impulsively running for the passage leading up. I quickly look over my shoulder and notice that dad is gone, as is the man at the window, and the hall is empty of monks, but the nun remains and smiles warmly at me, but she says nothing. Despite her reassuring glance, I scramble up the ascending path with no thoughts or expectations in my mind, like a scared animal being chased by something unseen.

The dream changes. I am suddenly in the castle north of the church, in a grand passageway that while still twisting upwards, is decorated with artworks and elegance befitting of a royal building. It is also much wider, does not slant so steeply and is lighted by large windows bordered by elaborate tapestries. People still wander the halls, but instead of nuns and monks, are woman and men dressed richly in Renaissance fashions of courtiers and aristocrats. A few of them saunter by me and sneer as they do so. I am not dressed as finely as they and instead have on a simple brown dress with a grey undershirt and light grey apron. I have read hair and know immediately that I have transformed into my deam incarnet, Kalima. I look out one of the large windows and can see the square, multicoloured church still surrounded by gardens and sculpures, though the cobblestone pathways are empty of modern-looking tourists and filled with merchants and vendors, peasants and aristocrats, human and non-human alike, bustling around in a budy medieval townscape.

I cannot consciously recall the previous part of the dream now and though I can sense that I do not belong here, and feel out of place, the farmiliarity of everything I am seeing makes me think that I have always been here. I unconsciously grasp at something hidden underneath my collar: a small silk bag containing a polished peice of jade hangs around my neck on a thin strap of leather. I keep it hidden because I feel that if anyone saw it, they would believe that I had stolen it, as it would seem too expensive for a mere peasant as myself to own such a thing. Beyound sentimental and material value, this peice of jade is magical and allows me to see beyond the constraints of the physical world, as well as grant me some minor magical powers. Through the Jade I can see the Truth at all times, and if someone were to discover it and take it away, I fear that I would be rendered powerless and blind.

Touching the Jade, I can feel its power, which pulsates with a warm but sharp electrical current, even through the rough cotton of my shirt and the thick silk bag that contains it. It jars my consciousness and I suddenly remember what I am supposed to be doing, though the sudden awareness is fragmented: Meeting friends. Finding and freeing a captive lion. Saving a King. I cannot compel the peice of Jade which, while still apart of me, is like an entity all unto its own, to show me more and I know that it reveals only what I need to know and it is up to me to figure out the rest.

I decend the winding passageway down to the main floor of the castle and meet a group of people whom I know are my friends. We came here out of curiousity at first, to see the castle, though later for an important task revealed to me through the Jade. My friends, who are all older than me by a few years, know of my power, and trust and protect me with great care. They are all humans except for one, who is a small antropormorphic ant like creature (about two inches tall) who is very wise and acts as our teacher and guide. He usually rides on someone's shoulder, since he is much too small to keep up with us walking on his own, and he greatly fears being crushed to death by being stepped on. All of us are orphans and outcasts and we have no one else in the world save for each other.

We find a lion in a cage and release it before the guards and discover us. We make are way through the lower parts of the castle and it is confusing and maze like. We are captured by some guards and brought before the King. My peice of Jade suddenly sends me a message about the King's life being in danger. I try to tell him so but he doesn't believe me. The lion captors have some how recaptured the lion and now use it as a weapon, making the poor creature attack and kill anyone it comes across, and beating it severely if it does not comply. The captors are just outside of the throne room when a soldier comes and tells the king what is happening. He finally believes me that his life is in danger and I use my magic peice of Jade to create and illusion so that my friends, the King and I can escape. We follow a secret passage revealed by the King behind the throne and it leads to the outside of the castle, but over the ocean and we have to jump into the water.

When I get out of the water I am seperated from my friends in the crowds of people outside the castle and for some reason my peice of Jade transformed me into a lion. I am immediately captured by the cruel lion tamers, who take my peice of Jade without which I cannot revert back. The King meanwhile regroups what soldiers he has left and surrounds and captures the would be assassins. I discover that I am able to revert back to human form under my own power and so not need the Jade. My friends and I are rewarded and we are no longer poor peasants. My friends take up residence in the castle, but I feel out of place because I vaguely remember my dad looking at the art outside of the castle and I leave to "find my way back home."


The dream ends there.

Had a dream, something about needing to get away from my house ASAP because a demon had been there, we had tricked it but it was going to return once it figured ir out. I was a pre-teen and had two pre-teen/teen friends, and I think I was a guy. Anyway, we packed stuff really quickly and took off in a station wagon. We got to this city full of bright lights and decided to go into a massive toy store. It was huge, several stories tall and the walls were made of glass. We played with a lot of the toys and I found a pile of stuffed horses, each as big as myself. I spent some time hugging one of them and decided I liked them, and wanted to buy one, but I wanted to buy a stuffed unicorn and they didn't have any unicorns.

Finally, the demon caught up with us, and we had to battle it. One of my friends somehow became a party member who was a man with blond hair, in his mid-twenties, and he was one of my best allies and a good fighter. We thought we were winning, but it turned out that the thing was just toying with me - before it took off, it turned my friend into a stone statue of a gargoyle. So not only did I now lack my best party member, but he was also my friend and he was dead.

I teleported into an alternate dimension which was an island, with three stone statues that had glowing blue gems in them, and this was where I fought the demon. However, I think I may have lost. In any case, I woke up.

Oct. 15, 2008:
Dreamed that I was going to school, I think it may have been middle school. There was a flood of cats, and all of us got carried away. The culprit was a very, very large cat.

I am Rosso the Crimson and I am in some sort of army. For some reason a small group of soldiers including Shelke Rui, Vincent Valentine and I, defect and flee from the main army, which is situated in a sparse and barren, temperate forest. The rest of the soldiers in our group seem to be young adults and children.

Vincent and I have the responsibility to lead the children away from that place but our ideas and ways of doing things are often at odds and we fall into verbal conflict, though most of the time I conceed to Vincent's way of doing things. I am kind of annoyed at first, but ultimately trust that he will not lead us astray. As we leave the main camp, and out of the forest, it begins to snow and our first night is tryng to find shelter where we can sleep. There are several large gaps underneath logs or holes in the ground large enough for humans to crawl into, but Vincent says to stay away from them because dangerous wild animals, like bears and foxes, might live there.

We crest a hill and come across a children's playground where someone has thrown a blue tarp over some of the equipment, and while we could all easily fit under it, Vincent insists that we are not far enough away from the main army yet and we must continue. At this point in the dream, Vincent suddenly disappears and in his place is my brother Ryan.

We do not have to walk far to discover that we are on an island or something and must turn back. We return to the playground and I lay down on the ground to sleep, with Shelke beside me, and hope the man who I still expect to be Vincent to lay down on my other side. Instead the man lays down on the other side of Shelke and I am shocked and angry to see that it is Ryan not Vincent.

Despite being very tired I refuse to sleep and insist that Shelke switches spots with me because I am afraid that Ryan is going to sexually molest her. One of the other children soldiers cannot sleep and wanders around and finds a radio which he immediately turns on very loudly. I want the young boy to turn the radio off because I think it will give our position away but Ryan says it is fine and mocks my obvious apprehension. I convince the boy to turn the music down and everyone goes to sleep eventually, except for me.

Suddenly I sit up because I have an overwhelming urge to find Vincent, without whom I do not feel secure. I walk around the playground area and see that while it is still cold, most of the snow has disappeared. I turn off the radio as I pass it by. All of the defected soldiers except for Shelke and Ryan follow me.

One little girl freaks out because there is a tiny brown snake in the sand. I pick it up and throw it as far away as I can but quickly find another, and another and then many more. There is a reddish brown snake with a yellow rattle on its tail near the playground and the children flee because I positively identify it as a rattlesnake. Suddenly all of the snakes I can see are of the poisionous variety and as I walk back to my sleeping bag I am bitten several times, though I do not seem immediately affected by the poison, which feels hot and firely, almost electrical, coursing through my veins.

I cannot wake Shelke and since I refused to leave her there I lay back down on my roll to sleep. More and more snakes appear, each is bigger than the last and they are increasingly a variety of bright colours. Soon there are so many of them that I cannot move without touching several of them and they turn and bite me, again with that fiery, electrical feeling shooting through my body. I feel myself becoming increasingly weak and disoriented, but I do not know if it is because I am exhausted or because of the poison.

I sit up and notice that Shelke and Ryan are gone. Still hoping for Vincent to return I cry out to him to save me. When Ryan appears instead I am very upset, still wanting/expecting Vincent, and fall silent in anger and frustration. I sit crosslegged and completely still and the hundreds of snakes surround me and almost bury me in their mass and I find that I would rather be crushed or poisioned to death (though at this point I notice they have stopped biting me) by the snakes than to have Ryan come near me or save me, the very thought of which makes me feel sick.

The last image of the dream is looking at the mass of snakes in my lap and taking note of a rather large, bright red one with intricate oriental inspired patterns down its back that are coloured a bright yellow or gold.

Dreamed about students at a graduation, but not a run of the mill one. This one was in the woods, for some reason. There were two teachers - an older man, and a younger man who looked kinda like that one-eyed dude from "Sparta". Anyway, both were wearing heavy cloaks. It was very, very early, so it was very misty. Another student approached them, who'd be in their class next year, and wanted to discuss what they thought of her poetry, but their answer was that "not until you rise to study with the morning mists, when the world is white ,will you be a poet". She left, upset and angry.


Dream cut to the student shivering and alone way out in the woods very early in the morning, the morning fog was pretty solid, so it looked like the trees were rising out of a sea of white. She was kneeling and trying to recite poetry. At one point, she managed to avoid a poisonous snake, although she had no idea. Finally, she wasn't able to deal with the cold any more, so she tried to lie down in some very tall grass to sleep, only to land next to the snake, which bit her in the neck. This caused a series of hallucinations, where she blacked out.


However, at some point, she had a revelation when the sight of a black wolf caused her to realize that the memory of the snake biting and poisoning her was false - there had never been a snake at all. The second teacher had attacked her in the woods and cast a spell on her.


There was then something about beaches, and the sea, and the dream shifted. It was the same character, but she was playing PS3. The house they were all in was like my aunt's old house on Day Ave. Her uncle complained that she hadn't produced any artwork and was irritated by this shortcoming, which she would not explain. At some point, we all went out on the screened patio to look at some seeds we had planted but never watered, only to find that it had been so humid that water was condensing and nourishing the plants anyway, which had grown and were getting ready to flower.

This is the second dream I had on October 7th, 2008.


It is sometime in future. Starts off with young students excavating remains of ancient school and many small bones of children are found. The remains of only one adult is found and not only is the body completely intact, but it is Vincent Valentine. He wakes up with little prodding and flies outside where he tries to jump straight up a very tall brick wall (or side of building) to escape the curiousty of the children, (and his own confusion at where he is).

He is able to jump dozens of feet in the air but despite several attempts he falls just short of reaching the top. Exausted he collapses in a pool of blood which has formed below him. He wakes up in a vat of thick milky/clear liquid in a futuristic looking room. The group of children who initially discovered him surround the vat and stare intently. Vincent is uncomfortable because he is still confused about what is going on and also completely naked and his golden claw is gone.

He tries to escape using speed and agility, and finds that he can partially air- and water- bend, which is useful when demons show up and try to capture him. He also discovers that he can temporarily make himself invisible as well as strong enough to smash through concrete and tear through metal. Somewhere along the way he acquires a pair of black pants which he aquires from a particularily difficult red and black horned demon after he defeats it.

Vincent escapes but ends up in a room filled with creatures that are half demonic and half machine. He cannot hide through invisibility from them but they also do not attack. It is like a giant business office but disorganized and hellish, and covering everything are tiny multicoloured entities called nanoites that are the workhorse of this operation. They outnumber the robodemons but are enslaved to them and at first seem non-sentient and complacent.

A few robodemons are just chillin' and ask say Vincent his name, and ask that he be inspected/processed by some nanos. He doesn't tell them his real name and instead tells them that his name is "Chaos," which impresses the robodemons. Millions of tiny nanos inspect his body and report that he is an advanced machine. Vincent is confused, but says nothing. At this point Vincent notices that on the wrist of his left arm is a tattoo with multipul triangles and/or a diamond shape. As the nanos run over his body his mind briefly connects with their collective consciousness and for the first time he realizes that they are a sentient entity entirely on their own.

Being briefly connected with the nanos Vincent sees the fabric of existence that makes up this future and sees a gargantuan machine creature that asserts and protects the robodemon's domination of the world by devouring anything the robodemons comand it to. Its body capacity is unaffected by normal physics and it can go between physical reality (consciousness) and digital reality (unconsciousness) at will. While the nanos exist within most things in this world, they cannot overcome such a formitable foe and are thus forced into servitude by those that command the digital beast.

In the same futuristic demonic office Vincent meets some fellow organic humans (slaves to the robodemons) and complains about the lack of shoes (he keeps stepping on tiny nanoites that look like humans) and the robodemons agree to let a few of their human slaves take Vincent into the human world to buy some footwear. There are three burly looking men covered in scars and tattoos and two women. One is a platnium blond who eyes Vincent suspiciously and the other is a pretty and thin brunette woman who attaches herself to Vincent's arm and leads him down and out of the robodemon's futuristic world.

While the buildings and things in the robodemon's world are advanced technologically, most of the human settlements and technologies are primitive and many of the objects that people use and wear were dug up in excavations of the "old world," which the pretty brunette explains was the time before "the Reckoning" when most of the world was organic, before the robodemons appeared and enslaved the organic world to their futuristic technologies. One of the men mention something about it being 1.5 million years since that time but Vincent has trouble believing that he has slept for that long and the the world he once knew and the people in it are completely gone.

The shoes that he is shown are silly and retro, one pair being ridiculously oversized. He finds a decent pair of black leather boots which he is given for free because the human slaves believe he is a robodemon and regard him with great fear induced respect.

At some point the platnum blond talks to Vincent and reveals that her name is Lucretia. Vincent is shocked but she explains that she was named after St. Lucretia, the Lady of the Crystal, who is secretly a hero for the humans because she fought valiantly against the robodemons and allowed some humans to initially fight back and remain free from the demons for a time. There was a religion centered around St. Lucretia but the robodemons stamp out any external signs of it and thus the reverence for her sacrifice are often carried out in secret. It brings Vincent much peace to know that his former lover ended her life in an act of bravery and not suffering.

The blond Lucretia eventually reveals that she wants a perfect and immortal machine body like the robodemons and that it is she who has been betraying the hidden settlements of rebel humans to the technological oppressors. In exchange she has been promised a machine body for her loyalty. Vincent is infuriated not only at the desecration of his former love's name, but also when the blond tries to kill the brunette, with whom he was starting to develop feelings for. They fight and though the details are fuzzy, the blond dies, not by Vincent's hand, but because she is betrayed by the robodemons, who mock her inferior organic body to her death. Vincent now knows that his awakening and is new powers are needed. He makes it his goal to defeat the robodemons and free the organic world from their technological oppression.

He rallies the organic humans to fight and distract the robodemons while he forces his way into their central stronghold. Vincent starts battling the giant digital monster that allows the robodemons to control the world. Between Vincent's new god-like powers, and the giant digital monster's devouring of the physical and etheral deimensions, holes are ripped open through space and time. Vincent uses his powers to blast parts of the creature (and the essence that it is feeding on/being powered by) to bits.

Through his physical body does not change, Vincent can feel the entity Chaos, the harbinger of doom of the old world, working through him once again. After a long and epic battle, which lays waste to most of the world, he defeats the demon, then destroys the robodemon's strongholds on the world and thus frees the nanoites and remaining humans alike.

The collective consciousness of the nanoites explain that his purely organic yet immortal body was necessary to fight the robodemons since there are no nanoites in his body for them to control, (since all of the other "organics" of the world, plant or animal, have nanoites embedded in their genetic make up). Now that the oppressors were gone the organic world could flourish again since the nanoites could not grow or reproduce themselves and relied on their organic hosts to do that for them. In return the nanoites gather memories and feelings of the lives experienced by the individual organic humans and add that knowledge to their collective consciousness. There would be a balance between organic and technological, with not one being better or dominant over the other, but working together to create and sustain life in perfect harmony.

After telling Vincent what became of his friends in the world he once knew in the past (and revealing that his new brunette lover is actually the reincarnation of Rosso the Crimson) the nanoites offer to release his consciousness to the lifestream, or allow him to live on in this new world, where his immense god like powers will remain intact. Vincent chooses to live in the new world and while uncomfortable with the new religion which has begun centered around him by the greatful humans, he looks forward to watching, with the reincarnated Rosso and new human friends, the newly freed technorganic world recover and develop.


Whoa, dude! I think I've been playing way too much Dirge of Cerberus!

I had two dreams on October 7th, 2008. This is the first one, but it is fragmented.


I am in my own apartment and it is a Victorian style building. I am smoking pot and trying to avoid detection from a police officer who is across the street. I start Spongebob Squarepants and forget about the police.

Grandma is living with me, but she is senile and it is easy to trick her into giving me twenty dollar bills all the time. There is an entity living in an alarm clock but it has satalite capabilities and lots of wires and connectors coming out of it. I frequently have deep intellectual conversations with this alarm clock. There are other people/entities moving around the house but they are vague and hard to define, like ghosts.

The dream changes and I am in a school that is half destroyed and students rioting. I meet an intriguing young man who is interested in UFC and later he starts a UFC fight club in the basement of the school which has somehow merged with the basement of grandma's place.

That's all I remember from this dream.

Morning of September 28, 2008. Sunday.



I am back in one of my old apartments at the King Street boarding house, this one being the larger middle room on the eastern side of the hall (on the second floor). I am involved in some sort of unusual semi-lucid “ride” which takes up much of the central area of my room, which is being in the second train-car of a small black train, which at one point is more like being inside a larger solid box that tips and moves - and with me being unsure of my destination - there is a very vague awareness (but not a fear or stronger concern) that it is coffin-like. At one point, the miniature train (about the size of one at a park for children) moves out beyond the east wall, seemingly out into the night or very early morning, yet not falling. At one point, there does not even seem to be a wall. There is a vague awareness of how the little black train is “death” in reference to the Woody Guthrie song which I had listened to a lot in the recent past. However, the unusual orientation does not seem that eerie or ominous in-dream. It does seem unusually familiar at one point. There is no one else in the dream. The movement of my train seems automatic.

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On one level, this is probably just a metaphor for the dreaming and waking process itself as many dream events are in addition to just being a song association.