All DJ Entries

D1 - I having been persuaded or decided that it is my responsibility, I am standing outside a hall for group functions and parties etc.
It is dark and looks like it might rain, I am standing wearing a t-shirt and nothing else. In my hand is a tray, with a large cake on that has been sliced, I am to offer this to people as they pass by.
I then realise that information on next years positions has been posted inside and go to enter. There is suddenly a melee of hundreds of people all coming out at the same time. I am again swimming against the current and making no progress. I have been told I have been given a position I want least.

D2 - In a classroom with very large students, secondary? They are all sitting on high stools at narrow bar like tables. This excentuates how short I am in comparision. They are a tough class I can feel and I am apprehensive of how things will go. At this point their teacher turns up, they are annoyed as though I have spoiled their game.
The teacher is a short haired, blond lady with glasses. She beckons her teacher's pet to come over to her, he towers over her so she askes him to kneel, bringing him to her height LOL they take their roles and act out the usual smiley niceties.

D3 - In a dark room, with a large furnace like machine, two very odd chemists are making booze. There are loads of small fuzzy creatures, like coconuts with eyes. The chemists are also strange creatures but much larger. They compiserate with me, drinking heavily.

Sleep from 8pm - 3:20am

I got accepted to JPL school in Texas. It's not just a campus, but a research center and exhibition park with all things space. It's somewhere up in the hills, so high, that they have to carry up even helicopters.

I'm excitingly trying to call my brother to tell them I got accepted to JPL, because he was going for a visit there. But there is no signal so I'm going to wait till I skype him from my room.

I'm with my old classmates and a teacher having orientation. After that we take some escalators down into living habitats, which are huge building towers. The escalators and everything is full of visitors, tourists, people who work and live there.

We stop on the bottom of the escalator, because friend of mine M wants to get a drink. One bar is closed for some celebration, so my friend and someone else pulls out half full bottle of pear vodka and make mixed drinks at outside tables of another bar. I wonder where they have the bottle before.

Then we take a people mover that dips deep down into a wall and ends up at a boarding platform. We need to cross from Tower A to Tower B where we have living quarters. We sit down in nice cusioned seets on this transportation device that looks like a disneyland ride. It has about 7-10 seat rows. The attendant comes by to check our resident cards and I scramble to find one in my backpack. When she scannes it, she tells us that we have to wait for the next one, because this one is full. But it clearly is not, so we feel discriminated against because we are from another country.

So me and 3 other males ask how to get to the other tower and we are told there is some service tunnel. We get there and there are many heavy doors opening and closing fast to let fast moving people moving carts through. They are going really fast , we can't even see them coming or going, just a blur. Somehow we get through few doors, I see those guys running through them, diving through pipes and openings in the wall. But we have to turn back, because it becomes more dangerous and people just can't get through there.

I was in a game or playing a game. The setting is a dystopian future. I was alternately watching and being in the game. There were cameras in various places, even in rooms. There was one room where there are two guys talking to the camera. They're acting like they're just some typical guys fooling around but away from the camera, they were plotting something.

Escape. Top-down view. Reminds me of Mario RPG.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I fell asleep thinking of the super moon eclipse, but was too tired to set my alarm clock to wake up to see it, so I thought " maybe I'll wake up to pee and check if the eclipse is happening at that time".
At some point I started dreaming that I had to wake up to see the eclipse, so I got out of bed, went to the toilet, then realized the figure on the mirror was of a man and shape shifted constantly. I realized I was still dreaming. Tried to wake up again, this time even got outside, but the landscape was a bit off, there was a huge forest and many people gathering around to see the moon, which was big and red. But I don't have such forest near my house. I was still dreaming. I think I had one or two more false awakenings until I finally woke up for good.
I did a RC to confirm this time I was really awake, I looked to the clock and saw that it was the exact moment of the half-time of the eclipse around here, 3:50 am. I grabbed a coat, went outside and the eclipse was at its peak, with a beautiful red moon in the sky. Still, I had to do another RC, because I kept seeing things quite extraordinary, like a huge dark flying shape in the sky (it looked like a dementor!?) or sparks of light, but I'm in the countryside, there's all sort of animals probably causing those sights: bats, insects... My dogs were pretty excited with my presence and offered me the certainty I was awake when they started biting my ankles.
Back to bed I had another false awakening, this time I thought I was waking up in my house in the morning, to find that bombs were dropping from the sky and star wars imperial walkers were battling on my land. Then I realized something was not right again, but honestly the impression I had was that dimensions were crossing over, not that I was dreaming. I ran around the house looking for my pets, to run away with them to safety, only to realize that my house was being slowly replaced bits by bits, by different realities, namely other spots in space-time continuum. So, my living room was still intact and normal, but opening a door to my room I would find a street with restaurants, entering the kitchen, it was now some kind of zoo, while on the other side of the house, in the garden, an intergalactic battle was taking place. I felt awed and saddened with the perspective that my house, my haven, my life, would disappear under whole new realities, buildings, events, that would not connect in any way with the memory of me and my loved ones. It was humbling.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I live in a world confined to one large city, from which no one ever exits, at least that I know of. But I feel oppressed by this society and it's forms of control, so I come up with a plan to escape. I meet someone who works for the government and is also not so happy with life and glad to help me out. She knows of archives on the 66th floor of a governmental building, where every persons records are kept and some sort of tracking system. She gets me inside and I find my file and tracker and destroy it. But we are caught and soon an army of securities is heading towards us. I tell her to go away and blend in with the other workers, no one will know she was involved. I escape to the top of the building. Encounter some security, fight, steal a gun, use it against other securities. The gun is a mix of taser and laser. It shoots a kind of red ray that only activates when I press a red button on my gun, immobilizing the person shot previously. Not very practical, but it helps. I manage to reach the roof of the building. I see the city spreading in all directions. The truth is I have no idea if there's anything else beyond this city, never even seen its frontiers. But I dive in the void and fly away, from building to building. I will find out.

I almost stole a Little Nemo stuffed animal from Family Fair then later in the dream i went into a tattoo shop and was in trouble for stealing a pipe. I didn't steal the Nemo though, i just ripped the tag off. There was also some sort of electronic display where i could delete the item, and i ended up doing that because i felt bad for almost stealing it.

The office of the guy who got me in trouble in the tattoo shop was small and had a lot of chairs, the one i sat in was navy blue and had a lot of tears, the whole room was really messy. On one side of the tattoo shop was a LOT of bongs and pipes, in all different colors and shapes. A lot of orange and blue colored ones, lined along these long shelves on a wall of the shop.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am in London, parts of it are flooded. I meet Evangelion by chance. We spend some time together, we flirt and end up kissing. Then he asks me if I would have an affair with him. I'm undecided. It's been one of my fantasies, but when we kissed, I felt nothing. I honestly don't know.

Some guys in power have decreted the elimination of most part of the human population. Only the ruling elite and a few selected slaves are allowed to live. Everyone else is supposed to die. I think the argument is to reduce humanity's footprint on the planet and restart a society with a much smaller population. Many people volunteer to die for that cause, but those who don't are hunted down and become fugitives with no place to go.
I'm one of those fugitives. I become part of a non-organized resistance that sabotages whatever it manages to.
I and a couple of others end up breaking in one the places where volunteers and captured people are killed. It's like an underground slaughterhouse. People seem mindless, maybe drugged or just in shock, naked and shaved. They go through something like gas chambers, because we then see the dead bodies being taken on conveyor belts to automated dismembering and chopping machines. I don't know what they do with the remains, I just find out a way to blow up the god damn place.
Then we keep on running. We infiltrate a city of people with permits to live. We somehow manage to talk to one of them who might be willing to help us get a permit, but he to seems a bit spaced out or drugged. He explains the procedure to get the permit and basically it's impossible to get it, except getting a fake ID of someone who had been allowed to live but died for some reason and that seems to be way out of our reach.
So we keep running. Until one day we are caught in the middle of raid in a farm we came across. A militia that hunts down the fugitives apparently found a big group of them in this place. My friends were caught in the middle. I am using a dry toilet outside and away from the main house, so they haven't found me yet, but I see from the distance that the guy in command of the militia is one who has caught me before and raped me and thought he had left me to die (but I didn't). I plan not to let him get away, but that might imply I sacrifice my life to kill him. He is coming closer to where I am, he will find me in a minute...

This one's from yesterday. Note: I've had a VERY similar dream before, and as I went through this dream, I remembered the last one. The setting was the same. I think this one fluctuated from lucid to non-lucid.

I'm in a prison, as an inmate, but this prison's more like some kind of highschool (I don't know why I keep getting highschool dreams, it was years ago ). I recall the last dream (within this one) that I escaped during a riot/party from an enclosed outside area. There are several different keys. In this dream, I'm an underclassman and the seniors accept me as their own (I don't think they know what grade/level I'm in). There's this hippie dude as some kind of leader for the seniors and I make best friends with him.
Somehow this dream transitions into police chasing us/shooting futuristic weapons at us in the ruins of some warehouse. I'm with the same group of people running from the cops. One of the cops has 26 illegal assassins somewhere, and he has brought his newest recruit (the 27th). I think they get us, and I woke up.

I've not posted here in quite a while! It's quite pathetic!

So I've been having terrible dream recall lately, so I decided to pull out all the stops, do everything I can to improve it.
Detailed dream journals, reality checks, improving awareness (which is pretty hard for me), and reading loads about lucid dreaming.

Not to mention reading all my old dream journals on here from back in the day!


So I decided to try Wake Back to Bed seriously for the first time ever. I had to make my own alarm clock program for this
I think this was pretty good for a first try

(note: there's a few swear words as this was right out of my dropbox dream journal)

non-dream
dream
lucid
-----------------------------
This is around 2:45 or so.


Dream 0:
???
I barely remember this.
I woke up, and the countdown clock said it had only been an hour.
I hear dad getting up, and going to the bathroom.
I lay there, trying SSILD. I try to do cycles but my mind wanders very quickly. I desperately try to keep on track but it's very hard.
I eventually hear bumping from the bedroom, which almost jumpscares me, but I lay there doing cycles, or at least attempting them.

I eventually fall asleep.


--------------

Dream 1:
So I'm in a car, going down a street. It's twilight out, the sky is really dark but you can still see the sun for some reason. You can see a bunch of woods, and a few farms from the road. I come to a rather drawn out turn, and I pull into this circular building.
I get out and walk into a bathroom. It's incredibly nasty in here, with at least one hobo in the bathroom as I walk in. The lighting is very yellow. The walls are mostly made out of tiles. I go into one of the stalls, but then walk out as it was nasty. I then see another hobo in the middle of the bathroom, shitting on the floor! WTF! So I bolt out of there as fast as I can. I then wake up.

I open up my laptop, and my countdown clock says it's been 3 hours since I fell asleep.
I try SSILD again, but it's very hard to keep focus. I eventually fall asleep.

--------------

Dream 2:
I'm in a blueish green field. There's lots of trees around and it's day time.
I see a monstrous bird under a tree, and I go near it. All of a sudden a DC comes and yanks me back, telling me not to go there!

He tells me about those birds.
They're cranes of some sort (forgot the name) that grow to 8 feet tall usually.
Males are larger than females, and have ornate colors below their necks. Females are just gray.
Their bodies are more vertical that most cranes. (similar to Praricrane?)

He tells me, that their eyes get radio active lasers before they're large enough to carry someone.
I then wake up.

I once again look at my laptop and it says I have less that 12 minutes to the alarm!
So I open notepad, type "6-33 12-19", then close the clock. I then lay back down.

This time I SSILD more seriously, and eventually become numb. Almost as if I'm hovering in the air. I then fall asleep.


-----------------------

Dream 3:
So I am in some huge thrift store. The walls are gray and there's some green plants on the walls. So I'm looking around and on the shelves I see some old gameboys! I see what looks like a gameboy color (with batteries!) which I pick up, and then I see what looks like a gameboy DMG but is a lot thinner and a bit taller. The screen is rather small and a very light green.

So I grab these, and then I turn on the GBC and I see the GBC bios, along with some garbled text near the bottom. :ding: So I look where the game is, and I see no game!
I then pocket the gameboys, and I look around some more.

Next thing I know I'm in the 22nd century, talking with DCs about bone implants and shit. It's my house, and it looks more or less just like my house, but there are floating platforms everywhere. So I get on one, and I think about those implants. So there's some kind of race to get one of those. So we run around the back yard (the tree is there), and eventually it's night time, and I have one of those. Not in me, but I have one. I go back on one of those floating platforms. It's night now, there's lots of bright stars and the sky is a deep blue.

So I now have a CD with me, along with some white music player with me. I don't play the music, instead just laying on the floating platform. I then get up, and go into the fort. Some DC comes with me, and starts talking about gay stuff. I walk into the top level of the fort, which looks like it was made out of netherrack.

So I'm sitting there, and all of a sudden I start mining the netherrack down with my invisible pickaxe. Once it's more or less gone, I go to the corner of my house, and there's a bunch of tables there. There, some DCs are making a gameboy demo. I take the cart and put it in the unreal gameboy and turn it on. I then hear deep tones, and music, while seeing some flying ships on the gameboy screen.

For some reason this made me run around the back yard frantically!
I eventaully get back to the hovering platforms, and I switch dreams.


---------------------

Dream 4:
So I am in this circular room, styled very similarly to the fire sanctuary. The room is open to the sky, though there was a metal grating on the top.

Ghirahim is in here as well. I have the spinner from twilight princess, and I am just messing around. I'm running into all these pillars that are in here, but I can't hit him. I eventually slow down, and I am right in front of him. I inch my way forward, and I start getting the spinner in him. The square protrusions just clip through his legs!

So I get off the spinner, and I start noclipping around. I noclip inside him, and turn off noclip. He all of a sudden juts back, as if he was hurt by that. He has a sad look on his face. He runs into this teleporter in the huge pillar thats in the middle of the room, and the door opens.

So I go through the door and I come out to a rather brown room, similar to the ending areas from the first skyward sword dungeons, but more designs around this area.
There's water everywhere, and a red metal path towards this structure that looks, almost like a slide. It had two openings near the bottom that when you walk through, you're teleported away similar to other zelda games.

I didn't walk through them, instead I noclipped around, and went onto the top of the waterfall. The water has no collision up there!

I try to slide off, but I can't and end up falling down to the floor.
I eventually wake up from here.

I wake up and it's noon! How did I sleep that long?

Either way, then begins loooooong process of dream recall followed by DJing all these.

(I have false memories of having moved to an English speaking country recently...)
I'm returning to my apartment, carrying some groceries.
As I exit the elevator I stall for a few seconds.
I have completely forgotten where on this floor my apartment is...
So I just go to the first door and test if my key fits.
It does, and I decide not to worry about why I would have forgotten where my apartment is.


The apartment is quite roomy, and very modern. The entrance leads directly into a large room,
which is sort of divided into 3 areas. One for tv viewing, which has a U-shaped couch,
one for sleeping, and finally one with a computer desk for work.
I find it a bit odd that the bed is in the same room with the tv and desk.

But my attention quickly shifts towards the people that are in my apartment.
There's a guy with white hair watching TV and a woman who is using my pc.
I feel like I know these people. It doesn't seem too surprising that they're here, but I'm not really sure who they are.
The woman approaches me and gives me a hand with the groceries.


I notice that she has purple eyes. It all makes sense now: This must be ~ Dreamer ~!
She is very curious about what I bought for dinner, and begins to unpack the groceries immediately.

"Ooh, shiny!"

She is cheerful and full of energy.

"When do you want to have dinner?"
"Hmm... I don't know. I'm not really hungry yet. Canis?"

Oh. The guy watching TV is CanisLucidus. Makes sense I suppose.

"I'm starving!"

They banter on about when to have dinner. Meanwhile I try to figure out what time it is.
This proves to be rather difficult. I'm unable to read the time off the task bar on the computer. The digits keep changing.

"Hyu?"
"Yes?"
"Hmm... how do I put this? ..."
"Hyu, where is your kitchen?"
"Well, it's right over..."
"Uuuhm..."

... There's only one door in this room, and it leads back outside.
So, this is all there is in the apartment? I don't have a kitchen? Not even a bathroom???
How on earth did I manage that?

"Don't tell me you forgot to get a kitchen..."
"... I might have?"
"And a bathroom?"
"..."
"See, this is what happens when you're on the PC all day long!"

I don't know what to reply. This really is a rather colossal fuck up.

"Okay... don't worry about it. I'll sort this out."
"I'll go get you a kitchen and a bathroom."

What??? How? ...
I suppose, since this is a modern apartment, it must be modular in some way, and you can annex additional rooms to it?
I try to talk ~ Dreamer ~ out of it, because I feel that since this is my apartment, and I messed up, this is something that I need to fix on my own.

"Nonsense, I'm going right now. I'll be back in an hour or so."

She leaves the room before I manage to come up with a reply.
To be honest, I'm kind of relieved that she is helping me out.
I have no idea where to get additional rooms for my apartment...
I definitely have to make it up to her somehow.
I end up talking with CanisLucidus about game engines and the Oculus Rift for a bit. (Through unfortunately I remember nothing specific)


I feel like my overall awareness has been improving over the past few days, and it has had a positive effect on lucidity.
But this dream for some reason, even though it was absolutely cluttered with dream signs,
I managed to remain completely oblivious to the fact that I was dreaming.

Dream - Lucid

I was at the house I grew up in. We were in the living room. Others were there, but I can't remember who. I giant Miss Piggy walked by the window. I knew we were in trouble.

I then went upstairs. There was a little boy sitting in the bonus room in the dark playing video games. He had been up there for hours. I noticed he was playing Star Fox. I said something to him about it.

Then, we were in some alternate universe, a futuristic world. Honestly, my recall here is a little jumbled because I kept waking up and going back to sleep, but I'll do my best.

We were way in the future, past the year 3000. We were in some house that was built in the sky, kind of like a city in Star Wars. We were in a city. I was an observer, not a participant in what was going on. I don't remember who all was there except for a very fat, very tall Yoshi. He did not really look like Yoshi, though, because he was so fucking huge. It's like he had let himself go over the years. He also was bad news, apparently. He then was showing off his dick. It kept contracting and then poking out into the foreskin. At this point, it was more like I was watching a movie, and I couldn't believe they were showing that. It then was all the way out and looked nothing like a dick at all. It had these two weird bulbs on it that changed from red to white when he was about to splooge. It happened, but the splooge was a clear, slimy liquid. I then saw an above view of some people that lived in the house in their beds. Their beds were full of the slimey splooge. They were disgusted. And I don't blame them.

Then, it turned into some story. Fat Yoshi was still there, but he was someone else now. He also didn't look as fat and tall but he looked more human. I also didn't think he was nearly as bad now as he had seemed before. It was like a Star Trek thing now. It's so hard to explain. The story was that everyone was very far into the future still, even further into the future than Star Trek is IWL. There was a man, either Spock or Kirk, though they didn't look the same, who was in love with this woman. They had loved her very much in the past, but something happened and either he died or the woman thought they died. He was trying to get her to love him again. This was all taking place inside the house in the sky.

Then, someone went back in time to get a car that drove on wheels. They had to go back 1000 years, which was still way in the future, probably around the year 2110-2200 or later. I saw a scene of a city on a rather dreary, smoggy looking day. There were cars driving around. I was surprised they were still using cars on wheels at this point in the future. There was a big, reddish-pink neon sign that said FUTURE, but only the F and E were lit up.

The car was then acquired and taken back into the future. Kirk I believe wanted to ride in it in the city with the woman. I thought that was a bad idea, but then saw the car from a behind view like you would in a driving video game. He was driving against the hover car traffic.

~

I was playing some game that is similar to a recording of a stream I've been watching IWL of a game called "Nintendo Nightmare", though with better graphics. I kept seeing scenes of Mario and others and the weird sound effects that the game has. I then saw a speech block at the bottom of the screen for Mario talking, and I thought he wouldn't actually say what was in the block, instead making the Mario sound effects from Mario 64, but he did in a weird voice.

I stopped playing. I was in my brother's room. I had a box of orange I guess they were large cartridges that were labeled for the chapters of the game. I was playing the game on a DS-type system. I was about done playing for the day. I put in one more cart, and it was the beginning of the game again. I had one option against the black screen to watch a trial, and I clicked it. It started, but then I decided I didn't wanna watch it, and turned it off.

26.08.2014

Futuristic tiny homes (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was driving a car, apparently, I was going to visit a friend who moved in town into some futuristic but very affordable homes. I was lost and the GPS was not working well. Also, I was in a neighborhood which roads were very steep and massive turns. For some reason, I was driving like a maniac, but when I tried to drive slower, the car just did not obeyed me, but I managed to park.

I got inside a round building, very futuristic, looking something like this, but without the stairs and much bigger:







I was with my wife and we were going to help the friend move. The building on the inside had brown carpeting and it did not have windows, despite on the outside seeing windows. The elevator was tiny, but when you got in, it was huge.

Once I got into the building, it had stairs going in many directions,similar to the bizarre room, something like this (ignore the persons in it)







But with brown and lots of carpets.

There was a big closet on the outside and I grabbed a couple of those blue Ikea bags, full of stuff to move into the house as well as some suitcases. We were going to call our friend, but he was not at home, but the door, more like a hatchet, opened and we got in. The home was very small and it was round as well. I could see the kitchen from the outside and it was all made of stainless steel, including the table and the food, lol.

I wandered around the small living room and it had a window where I could see a massive downtown (and those were not there before) I then noticed a huge computer screen, that said that there were 3 bags inside the home and room for 19 more bags. I was surprised that the house knew what was inside. I lifted one bag and I could see that there were 2 bags. I also noticed that this screen was counting the guest at the house and said that there were room for 3 more guests. Weird stuff.

At the end, I noticed that there was a huge engagement ring connected to this machine. The diamond was about two inches long and very heavy. My father in low appeared out of nowhere and said, "Thats a ring!" I told him that those friends were very of the show off type in addition of being in the very upper class and they could afford it.

The Camp

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

We make a field trip. At first we make a stop at a friends house which doesnt really look like his. They tell me that I forgot my baggage and freak out. I take his bike and decide to get it. I drive through the night and a alley of trees and the only light comes from my bike-light. While I am driving I sing out loud. I make it to the train-station where hovering trains transport the people.



We get to the hostel and we find out that we have to attend a camp with a lot of other pupils. We put our stuff in the closet and take a walk in the halls. We see people from every country. We go talk to an american cheerleader team, they are really cocky tho. I notice I lost my stuff again but forget about it quickly when I see a 10€ bill on the ground.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I fell asleep slowly, keeping my awareness, and the plunge was so subtle, that I wasn't sure when I was already asleep or not and both worlds overlapped for a while. I was clearly already visioning a dream world, but every time I moved my hands to do a RC, I was still moving my "real" hands and not the dream hands. It took me a while to finalize the transition. And when I did, I still wasn't sure in what level of reality I was, because I got up from my dream bed and went to a balcony and clearly the world outside was a very large city and not my hometown, but it was so realistic in all its details and sensations, that I chickened at the thought of flying away from the balcony. I decided to do one more RC just to be on the safe side and not kill myself.
When I was absolutely sure, then I flew away over a 10-lane highway and for fun, landed on top of a big truck and surfed it.
I had no clear goal with the dream, so I let the story unfold.
My stunts attract some attention and I gather a group of misfits and adventurers who follow me as their leader. We become a rebel group on this futuristic mad max style world. Some day I meet a guy I don't fully trust, but he is a bad-ass with some skills and I spend some time with him, to see if he fits in our group. We hijack trucks with materials we can use, but we never hurt anybody. But he attacks a truck with a family and kills the parents of a kid and almost shoots the kid. Needless to say, I kick his ass and make sure he never hurts anyone again. Then I adopt the scared kid and take him to our base. We live in a semi-underground tunnel complex on the outskirts of the suburbs. I love this kid very much and make sure he grows up nicely and in a peaceful environment.
I guess he brings me into maternal mode, because I do much less adventures outside and have become more home-based. I even have a date with a guy and a friend helps me pick up a dress to go out that evening. I leave the kid with a lady who is not human. Her head is hairless and instead is covered in a thick brownish skin with round protuberances of different sizes. But she is the most trustworthy person around, very calm and serene.
This guy I'm going out with, he's like the Hulk, big and green. The babysitter suggest I should wear a green outfit to match, but I disagree, he might think I'm mocking him.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I am at some kind of school. I see western kids practicing Kendo with eastern kids. I realize I am in a dojo. Besides the kendo, I watch some lady playing a really silly sport, consisting of throwing a watermellon and other similar fruits to fit into some very tight fitting baskets far away. It seems hard, but hardly elegant. Until I realize the level of precision and strength necessary to actually fit the watermellon on the basket without bouncing or breaking or anything else. Fitting it with perfection is something that can only happen by chance 1 in a millionth, but she makes it at the first try and I realize the level of skill necessary to achieve it. She is in a perfect zen state. When I realize that, tears start falling from my eyes.
I cross the room to a big balcony and I see a breathtaking view over a hill, a big river below and a mountain right in front on the other margin, with a complex of shinto temples on top.
The beauty of it is beyond words. It's surreal. It's Japan but I can't really say when. It looks both in the past and in the future, but in relation to what?
I am taken by boat up river. As I slide through the waters and approach the mountains, I start recognizing places and emotions take over me. I have been here before or will be here later (it's hard to tell). I pass through a Tori leading to a village, I don't know its name, but it feels like home. I start crying like a baby. We pass by a shrine with homage plaques with names on it. I can't even read what's on it, but I fall on the ground, sobbing, with sorrow, with a sense of unforgiving loss, with memories of a life I don't even know if it's past or future. And I cry for an eternity.