5th December 2021 Fragment: Vague recall of being in my old bedroom. Dark, based on light, probably morning outside. My oldest sibling is at my computer playing some game. (recall gap) In some kind of hybrid space RTS/base defence thing. It doesn't feel like a game in the dream. Things go well at first, and then the attacking alien waves start to become much stronger. My fleet thing can't keep up and eventually things seem to sort of blend seamlessly into a big wide sort of control room. It's bright, and white-ish. The aliens are blue-grey or silvery and I remember checking their HP and realising that it's much higher than whenever I last checked it. (I am not sure why, but at the time of writing this, this made me think of Ender's Game) Then I start feeling like I'm alone and overwhelmed by the situation. The invaders become a mix of TCG units, but semi three dimensional. Some units have names that feel sexual? I get close to a "succubus zombie something" unit and it seems to just be the legs. Visually things don't make much sense. The legs are blue and have something like a mouth between them but I perceive this as female genitals during the dream. I stick my finger in the mouth and feel around inside. The teeth, lips and tongue look cartoonish, and are the normal "ideal" colours. 6th December 2021 Fragment: (left recall too long) Something about a boy I'm mentoring. I think I understand that I can't teach him everything at once and that the lessons I want to teach him aren't necessarily the ones that I can or should teach him right now. Dream location seems to be some mix of old home and an unknown place. It's dark? Abyssal? Certainly vast in some respect. 12th December 2021 Fragment: (recall left whole day) Something in a town, with H. Semi-detached houses. Then, something in a mall. Vast and open, orange and cream tones (sounds nice but don't have any visual recall anymore). Nobody is wearing a mask except for myself. I go down some stairs/escalator. I think I go past a food court? I leave the mall through a front entrance, I think. Eventually I'm back with H somewhere, and I comment on how "people 'down South' are careless" or something to that effect.
29th November 2021 Very abridged, many details weren't retained after waking; this was a brief lucid involving a false awakening and the lucid part felt continuous and lasting several minutes. Dream: I am out and about in a place like old home. Reminds me of 98 and I am with mom maybe, and a group of kids. It's some kind of school trip. (mom is here as a teacher?) I cross some foot bridge thing. It's sunny. I then go into a cafe or shop place, somewhat dark and unlit, except by the bounced light from outside. There are a few dream characters here, there's a counter of some kind on the left side and the place is deep-ish, being long and relatively narrow more than anything else. I start hearing my thoughts and they are very present. My thoughts tell me I'm dreaming and I confirm this in some way by interacting in some specific way with the people. For some reason, I still feel self-conscious, or like it's impolite to do anything right away, excusing myself and eventually going outside again. My memory in the dream feels decent and I perceive all the visual details vividly but physical sensations are faint. As I walk between two buildings, I start feeling some kind of arousal but successfully repress it. Instead of letting myself give in to an urge of making myself grow, I start trying to fly. Unable to fly, I am more leaping in large bounds of varying gravity each time. At some point I lose a bit of lucid awareness but I realise this and so I regain some clarity. Eventually I slip away into non-lucidness again and "wake up" falsely, into some other dream segment. Then I am in a sofa bed with S; she seems needlessly concerned, anxious. This looks like the room me and H have stayed in, when I've visited my parents; it feels like old home, anyway. Thinking I'm actually awake, I try to ignore her a bit and I take my phone out to write down my dream, starting on some detail. But I stop because I'm interrupted by H, who's prompting me to get up as he comes into the room. We discuss something about our day coming ahead. (recall gap?) Still in the same place, I am playing some game? Something about the original DOOM. Then I realise it's 3PM somehow, and wonder why or how it got so late, kind of in shock. But I don't dwell on it very long. (missed a perfect cue here) (recall gap) In some kind of ship, something about a fridge and some chemicals, including screenwash? Notes: - I mostly repressed the urge for growing because I always end up feeling like lucidity makes me want to do sexual things, which is fine, but at the same time I also want to focus on other things. Many times I've tried falling asleep with painting, or even art in general, in mind as a lucid objective just in case I ever do become lucid, since it's rare for me. - After I became lucid, I have some recall that after the two buildings there was a cityscape past a dip (river?) but also a sort of digital-looking existence, like in some old 2000s 3D cartoons. There was something bizarre and unusual about the background, anyway, as well as some other kind of foot bridge. - The manner in which I became lucid was unusual, not that I have a great deal of samples to compare with.
30th October 2021 Scraps (DFLN): Game-like world, lots of yellow sulphur colours. Some kind of secret level with giant spiders. I don't feel afraid but possibly a little anxious because of the overall situation; I feel pressured to get to the bottom quickly, there may be a timer or score. The spiders look like alternate versions of regular garden spiders (orb weavers, I think). Some other bit, T is at a computer playing a game and I stab him from behind at the top of his back with two black steel arrows and then I quickly pull them back out. He doesn't seem to be in pain and has very little reaction to this. I'm doing this for his own good, not to kill him. I put pressure over the bleeding. This seems to take place at some kind of open but sheltered guard tower, in a castle or something? Possibly still from that bit, some kind of trade hub town. It's blown up by a nuke thing at one point, and using time travel I find out it was bound to happen at 7PM. I find out circumstances are different from what I had expected, something about an army general.
20th October 2021 Some in-line bracketed notes. Was too tired to properly write down initial notes on recall. Fragment: Growing female dream character, an NPC of some kind. She's white, her hair is not black but it's dark and tied back. I have to watch over her for a while to make sure I get points correctly for some reason. She is or gets to about three or four times my size. We're in water, or floating in the air? Before that, there was more going on in the same area, something about a dream thing? (Intrusion from "Dream Academy" related PM by MoonageDaydream, I really regretted not being able to hold on to this part of recall.) Even earlier, something about Ed Edd 'n Eddy (the cartoon); I'm talking to someone but seeing/watching the cartoon too? I mention that some of my interest in growth themes probably comes from watching cartoons like this. Some appropriately themed scene plays out in the cartoon, involving Edd mostly, I think. (I remember on waking considering how he was often a thematically unwilling victim, even in a case like this that might be "empowering").
4th October 2021 Scraps: (a long dream, but poor recall) Some RTS segment and I recall beaches and water. One part a bit Minecraft-like or some other game. T is here and someone else is with me? Some kind of tower, or otherwise large structure. One of the last parts of the dream, I am my alter-ego and there are interactions with me as such. The other people are dream-generated. They seem to be pressuring me, or something? Despite my form, I feel slightly shorter than others. Some other dream? H has convinced mom and dad to bring S over here. I think H goes to pick them up and I remember seeing them all at one point. I feel concerned about S because of all the usual reasons regarding costs and also because of the long trip. Notes: - The last part was certainly a reflection of how I sometimes don't feel listened to or validated on, regarding both matters of money and of companionship. In the segment, some beliefs I hold as very important are partly betrayed by my closest, besides the fact I feel it may be detrimental to both S's health and to my financial situation. - That same segment probably also relates to how I have often been very easily upset by changes to what a situation is and changes to what it would be or would have been. - More recently it has been more frequent for me to take on my alternate form in my non-lucid dreams. In this case, the context likely relates to my art and some perception that the expectations of others are above my own. My stature is clearly metaphorical in regards to my feelings in terms of recognition, but this dream element also relates directly to some of my choice themes and how I've often felt physically inadequate in some specific areas (primarily to my own expectations) when compared to others. -- I do not recall what exactly the other people were pressuring me about, but in terms of my waking life contexts, art is the most directly relevant context here.
24th September 2021 Left recall too late. Fragment: I'm in Gruul's lair, it's mostly like in WoW but something seems more realistic in detail, characters maybe? Me and a raid group kill Gruul rather quickly. It's a 25 man group but oddly most of the characters aren't actual players? I remember talking to someone too. 26th September 2021 There were other dreams but recall was again left too late I think? Fragment: One bit where I'm in space with an Avorion spaceship. I approach one of those concentric asteroid ring formations. Something later about dad talking to me about a mission or a bet which is worth sixty eight million. I am dismissive. Notes: - Maybe the realistic character details come from recently playing Conan Exiles. - It may have been that I was speaking to L in the Gruul's lair dream but I cannot recall. There seemed to be some kind of backwards logic to the raid progression. - I haven't actually been playing much in the way of space games.
8th September 2021 Fragment: (from an earlier awakening, most detail lost) I'm with someone. It's a person of an alien species. He (?) is like a gel of energy that is contained within a humanoid shaped vessel. In the dream I eventually understand that this is purposefully metaphorical. He is very young and is more mature than most humans but has much to learn. His species gains the ability to take on other forms as they get older but for the most part for now he can only leave the humanoid shape and take an amorphous shape. We are friends and do things together, but I forget what. I think he sets up a physical MMO server thing of some kind and other people start joining our realm (BL intrusion?). Eventually, he finds another person of his species and I'm happy for him since he can share his unique aspects with someone else. I remember he actually also had the ability to exit his humanoid vessel and go into other objects. At one point he goes into one of two giant screens and his friend does the same with the free screen. This was relevant for the MMO thing but I don't remember how. The setting seems to be mostly urban, semi-futuristic. At some point we're inside a great house or hall, it feels like an ancient library, with a techy feel. Notes: - The shapeshifting gel energy being is obviously an intrusion from ST: DS9, since I have been watching this recently. In the dream it felt novel, and at the time of first recall it still had some of that feel.
24th August 2021 Fragment: At a place outside. It's sunny, looks a bit like my native country. Sort of dry grass and possibly some forest in the distance. I'm at or near some old concrete slabs, partially covered by dirt, sand and grass. There's a very tidy and organised minefield in a certain direction, that I'm aware of. It follows a square grid pattern. Other people are nearby but I forget who. Fragment: A bit like our home here. Some kind of mechanism and wooden surfaces that move on a single axis. They have metal sockets and plugs that allow them to interconnect vertically. Then outside, at the back. I hold a thin piece of 2x2 Lego plate towards H, who's in our yard just over the wall. There's some kind of visible electromagnetic flow between the Lego piece and something H is holding. Now the Lego displays an amperage reading on its top face, and I show H while also making some comment about it. Then I remain on the bit outside of our back yard. This area is different from how it should be, it feels more open and more natural. I forget what I'm doing but I know that H is putting up an old silver-coloured plastic TV at the back, it has something to do with conclusions we drew on before because of the EM flow. Some neighbour from the house right next to ours (but not actually), the one on the left if I'm looking from the back, he talks to us and says something about a party game and wishing there were players, or something? We invite them to play, I think. Then I'm like in some kind of Sims game (the party game) but the scale of the property grid is reduced and simplified. I wake up around this point, after I've built some simple house walls in the game. 25th August 2021 Initial recall was good but I didn't bother with making initial notes. Scraps: Something about a school or university, and learning.
27th July 2021 Fragment: I'm climbing up some semi-ruined concrete structures. A kangaroo person of sorts is following after me. Then, something about needing to go to a supermarket and something about school. I'm on a flat rooftop and I get a bag with stuff in it? Fragment: Something about playing a level 83 warlock. Unknown zone, hilly and deforested, partially ravine-like with cliffs on either side and there's a river running along the centre. I meet a bear form druid that tells me to look out for a tauren hunter in the area. The druid is level 110 or something. In the dream I know max level to actually be 80 but I understand that it can go up to 110 to gain some small extra bonuses or something. At one point I see the tauren hunter in the distance. He's across a lake area where the river ends. On selecting the hunter, the profile status bar is green, not red, implying he's not hostile. I think his pet is finishing off a mob while he loots or skins something else. Fragment: Something about a flood of blood wine and a group of five or six klingons, we all need to drink so much of it in order to get away or be able to call a lift. There are disagreements on what to do and who should be doing what. Notes: - I used to be more into Star Wars than Star Trek but over the last few years I've spent some time re-watching Star Trek stuff that I had mostly forgotten about. In Star Trek, most races and characters fit certain symbolic archetypes and motifs very easily, so I think situations such as this with the klingons draw from that aspect, partly based on my conscious and non-conscious perceptions and thoughts about the lore. -- Incidentally, I think this is the first time I've dreamt of klingons. -- I'd like to write some thoughts on potential symbolic aspects but a bit too tired right now. - Unfortunately I lost visual recall of the last fragment because I left writing these for a couple of days without thinking about them again in the meantime.
13th July 2021 Fragment: In space, Freelancer setting. I'm in a beautiful looking system, but fairly simple and generic. One white star? An ice asteroid field in the distance which I think I'm approaching. I'm with someone else, who's in a different ship, maybe T? Or an NPC like Juni. We're sneaking or getting away from something and we're taking unmapped/unknown travel routes, the type pirates and bounty hunters and freelancers use. This dream might have been from when my alarm went off, I don't remember resetting it. Fragment: Some interactions with other people. There's a context of survival and maybe one of servitude too (slavery? maybe not though). Most of this dream takes place in an indoors setting and it's daytime outside. There's an overcast characteristic to lighting. I recall some bit where I'm helping someone, they pass me a long-ish cardboard box which doesn't look so strong. As I take hold of it, it's bottom half sort of drops off from the upper lid section. A glass or metal thing drops out, it sounds like glass smashing. It's an electron valve or something? But I don't remember looking. The person that was passing me the box, a lady, gets upset with me, but we quickly get over it and we do something else. (recall gap?) Now I'm on Minecraft. I've just spawned in a new world. It's an unusual ravine locale. I am near and sort of under a 5x5 pillar and then I look around and up. The pillar goes up, a hundred or so blocks, as do other similar ones in the ravine area. Over this pillar is a railroad track laid on top of oak planks going from one side of the chasm to the other. The natural stone pillar has decorative stone bricks at the corners in a semi-random fashion and the other pillars are similar. The chasm or ravine is longer than it is wide but seems to mostly be rectangular. I don't recall noticing any ore at all. For some reason, I just fly up and look around. On the rail track, minecarts are going around. They have loot chests on them and I quickly inspect contents as they go past. They seem reasonably OK. I think there's another track that runs carts in the opposite direction, just nearby. To either end of the chasm, in terms of longitude, there are these sort of old West mineshaft entrances, which half look like a barn or house. They are built into the natural rock walls. My dream knowledge of the area makes it feel like a classic DOOM map, like actually behind the stone walls there's nothing, as if they are just set dressing. I go into one of these mine entrances and it has more loot chests which I inspect. I hear zombies nearby, but ignore them. Then I feel like I hear our doorbell but I start going into a dark stairwell made with oak plank stair blocks. On some level I start to question the reality of this and wake up and ask H if the doorbell had really rang, but no. Notes: - The Freelancer dream was nice even if a lot of recall went. I always enjoy those dreams because of the way space always looks more realistic than the game did but it still looks more fantastic than space would actually look like anyway. The system was a bit like some Sigma or Tau systems but "felt" closer to core systems. -- The dream plot was a generic story/campaign plot, as far as I can recall. I don't recall what my ship was like. - I think I haven't had lucid thoughts very much until that dream where the doorbell noise manifested. Notably, the dream entry that follows for the 15th also had a lucidity cue. - I would like to think about the symbolism of situation surrounding the smashing object in the second fragment but a bit too tired to think about it, hopefully come back to it at some point.
5th July 2021 Fragment: I'm looking at my profile on one of the art sites? I notice I have an unread PM and click to check it. It's from a site moderator I think and I check to see if it really is one, by looking for a certain symbol or something? The message reads at first something like "Dear user, as it is so rare to come across individuals like yourself", going on for a short bit and then asking further down if I'd like to become a moderator, myself. There's still some kind of special application process and scrolling through the, actually somewhat long, message, I see some red hyperlink buttons with white text. They have something to do with answering some questions for the application. At the start of these is also a green one and I perceive green as bad? The green one is for saying that you're not interested in this or something. I think about this and consider the responsibilities, the kind of things I might have to deal with, potentially unpleasant. And also the fact that it's not a paid role or position, it's voluntary even with the application and so on. Despite all this I still consider applying. Rest of recall faded. Fragment: In a game world of some kind, with H. It feels like DOOM, Quake or UT. The zone feels a bit void of anything at all, very empty. There's an orange-purple atmospheric effect? The only things that seem to exist around here are some kind of simple and white geometric structures that we walk across. I do some jumping tricks and get up on top of what is supposed to be like a small building. There's a "BFG 9000" here on the flat rooftop, it's a secret pick-up. This BFG has a unique design and is really quite big, as I pick it up I visually note that H gets it too. The weapon's design is chunky at the start, then it becomes tri-pronged kind of and extends almost two yards in front. These bits sticking out are like electro-magnetic rails and they are a silvery metal but with a light blue electric glow. The rest of the design is primarily green, the green tone I associate with DOOM. Anyway, then a boss or elite enemy appears or something. I consider whether or not we should use our new BFGs on it and end up deciding not and that we should just use regular rocket launchers to fight it. I think about the fact that the BFG has very limited ammo and sooner or later we'll end up firing at the same time anyway in combat situations, effectively wasting shots. Notes: - On waking and trying to draw the weapon in its most basic form I realised I couldn't imagine what the grip for it could be like. I then realised I've never really paid attention to this detail on BFG designs. - The first dream may relate to how I have sometimes done things freely for others because I felt that it was important enough to do as a voluntary thing. The issue has often been for me that I have not been either rewarded nor recognised for it and not even getting some recognition for helping makes it feel like I've been used for my eagerness, ultimately making me feel naive and cynical about such things.
3rd July 2021 Fragment: (long dreams, recall was good at first, but didn't make enough of an effort to start noting them down) Some kind of RPG shooter, maybe a mix of Borderlands and something else, in which I'm helping two other people with a boss. I change to the highest difficulty and also to my best character, on the fly. I become aware that the gear drops will now possibly come with requirements the other players I'm helping won't be able to meet, but I consider that it really shouldn't matter in the long run and should actually be beneficial. It's a small and kind of dark room, can't remember much else about the location. (recall faded too much) I'm in a dropship of some kind and I'm next to a tank-like vehicle. We're dropping into a small combat zone, feels like some kind of last-effort push kind of thing? The tank feels like the DRG 'dozer in terms of shape, but bigger, wider. More like a SC Fatboy, but smaller in overall scale. Some bit later in a sea rig, also with the dropship or the tank, some family there too? 4th July 2021 Fragment: Some bit about WoW. At first I'm playing a warrior and I have a huge two-handed weapon, looks very much like Sul'Thraze, but although my character isn't one, the attack animations are that of a troll character. It's an unfamiliar and novel area, completely original to the dream as far as I can recall. There's some bit later on, taking place on a small natural incline, grassy and a bit rocky. The colours are all very muted and towards purple hues all the way throughout, there are a few stone ruins. At this last point I'm playing an underleveled warlock and trying to help in a high level group fight. Notes: - Before bed on the first night, I read the Dreamgates parts in the centre of the book about creativity and read the exercise there again too also while in bed. -- I have really enjoyed this part so far and it has been motivating to read and re-read it, especially since I feel I've been accomplishing so little lately. - The WoW dream was mostly residue of actual feelings while playing the game, but the troll thing felt a bit different, perhaps because WoW trolls have this tribal aspect associated to them and because of Dreamgates making me think about Shaman-related things - Not sure if I've ever had a dream take place in a sea rig before, but possibly.
2nd July 2021 Fragment: In Outland. Some alternate version of Helfire I've dreamed of before, years ago I think. It's a mix of Netherstorm in terms of landscape features but looks like Helfire. Something about me trying to get to level seventy but I find out that eighty is actually the maximum level, through seeing other players I think. There's a back-and-forth mix of D3 and WoW. I'm both trying to create a level twenty or so questline involving dragons, for the zone I'm in, I think; but also trying to work on an art project about an erotica comic in a M/M theme. (recall started fading at this point) At one point, I'm working on this comic project and alt-tabbing between games and drawings for reference and then H comes in to this odd office room I'm in and starts talking to me. The room is very wooden? A dark-ish stain, probably? H is kind of having a go at me for "not doing much". I feel annoyed and partly insulted, since I try as much as I can. Constant interruptions occur (not just or only from H but something else) while I'm trying to work on this questline thing. The dream eventually deviates into some other bit in a town. (recall gap) I'm in a subway starting at my home town and I'm sort of composing a train run schedule that will go from a yellow line to the blue line? Stations seem dark and unfamiliar, not to mention cramped, they seem more like my vague memory of the London underground and some other generic subways I've seen. I'm alone in this train with the conductor, I'm just in the passenger area at first looking at the maps. Then I knock on the door to the cabin or something and I tell him about what I'll be doing. I can see through the front glass that we are arriving at a station full of people, mostly university students or something, people in school uniforms. I tell the conductor that we can't stop here for now because "that's too many gamers" and that I'll add this station later on into the schedule. And I think about how they'd probably end up giving this new route I'm making a very bad reputation and causes issues later on. So I think to myself that they'll just have to catch a different train for now. Notes: - Feels like it's been a while since a proper subway dream, though I suppose I have had a few not that long ago, that come to mind. -- As always this should be enough of a cue to question reality, but it never seems to be enough, nothing seems to be enough. - Again, dragons. Dragons are rarely the central topic in my dreams. This time they weren't the focus of eroticism but seems there was still a loose link since I was working on both their questline and the erotic comic. -- This thematic could relate both to my difficulty in sticking to a single project and to the fact that I always want to do really involved things. Doing either a comic or a full questline are projects that require a lot of time and attention. Relating to the difficulty in sticking to a project, I often lose track of myself and my attention to things when things start feeling long. - Unusually, the train was symbolically under my control though indirect influence of its compliant conductor, maybe a metaphor about navigation, guidance or inability to lead action directly. -- Relating to this, I have found that I am much calmer and more able to work effectively if I'm not directly in charge of something. If I am in advisory or assisting role, I tend to be able to remain emotionally detached for better results. Thinking further about this, ironically this is not the case when it comes to doing artwork for others, since that's still primarily based on my own ability to lead artistically (since I'm not being asked to emulate another artists' style). - When in the dream H has a go at me, I think this is actually a metaphor for me having a go at myself. I do sometimes think I'm not trying as hard as I could be. I often think about how it feels like I'm not leading myself anywhere but also about how it feels so hard without anyone guiding me. -- The irony to me feels like even under guidance I still feel like I'm not getting guidance, which makes me feel like it's a problem relating to myself only and not to others and their interactions with me.
comment dream lucid Thinking a lot about dreaming before falling asleep. Ramp Driving a motorbike off a ramp, jumping into the air. It was supposed to test something, maybe how someone got killed. Beaches all around and low tide. Walk with V With V in the forest, talking about how often I go out. I told him I help my family walking their dog. Hair I was talking with someone about which hairstyle I would like. False lucid I was walking down a path, playing some game. I think I did it for a second time and in an opposite direction, but that was just a vague memory. The rules were that you had to be lucid and do various tasks. There was a corner of a rock where the path led along a narrow ledge and I met a boy and a girl there. I offered the girl if she wanted to sit with me for a while and we crawled into this grassy alcove, letting the boy pass. I asked her what her name was and she told me her name. I told her I was Indigo. I asked how it was going so far and she said good, but she actually wanted to go so she wouldn't waste her time. So we said goodbye. It occurred to me that I've been lucid for a long time, that I've never had a LD this long, like 2 hours. But good for me - long LD = better chance of winning for me, while others have to do it in parts. I checked the paper with the tasks and it said to rubb our hands, so I did it, even though I thought I didn't need to, but I saw the organizer in front of me, so I wanted to get points. Then I saw more organizers around the corner and there was a fridge and I climbed on it and rearranged some food. I suddenly knew they were evil and decided to confront them - I told them I knew who they were and that they were serving the dark lord. They had a gun. I said they could kill me, but I had a plan to escape by waking up I closed my eyes and opened them and nothing, I was still there. That surprised me. I tried again and failed again. I remembered the reddit poll "can you wake up from a LD" and my answer "yes, reliably". That's what I get for that. I tried blinking really fast again, but it didn't work. Then I was in this labyrinth of big metal cabinets. I felt like I'd been lucid for an awfully long time, hours. I asked the organizers what they had done to my body in reality, that I was still asleep. They grinned, which worried me. Maybe I'm in a coma or something. But maybe not, and I have to wake up sometime. I figured there was probably a purpose for me there, something I needed to do. Somehow save everything and defeat them. I had this stick in my hand with some roots on the end. I've been poking around under the cupboards with it, seeing if there's some object that will allow me to save everything. I must have a reason to have that stick for... I felt myself waking up, and I thought "finally". I knew instantly that I was waking up from a false lucid. I logged keywords for the dream because I really liked it and wanted to remember. I felt confident that there could be a LD after this. I reiterated the intention to lucid dream. It took me some time to fall asleep again. Train to Birmingham I was at the station and it was about trains. Z said there was a train leaving for Birmingham and she was going to take it. I said that the train to Birmingham was useless to me, that we usually go via Manchester, and she was surprised. I walked with her on the way to the trains and there was the time and the Birmingham sign by the steps to the platform and it was flashing as if the train was about to leave. I hesitated for a moment but let it go, it wouldn't do me any good. I went back to the main concourse to look at the departures board to see what else was coming. The board was just changing. That's all I remember - the next was probably the transition into the false awakening. Real lucid - Meeting my dream guide I woke up in our bedroom and immediately suspected it was a FA. But as soon as I realized it, my vision got worse and I could only see two blurs. I was afraid I was going to wake up, but I knew I was still in a dream. It occurred to me to start picturing a deck chair and a beach or something, as what people do when they have sleep paralysis. Suddenly something disturbed me and I opened my eyes and I was awake and it was still a FA. Yes! I sat on the bed and R was awake next to me and there was also J. I knew I could ignore them, but I wanted to make them disappear with a snap of my fingers like in the daydream rehearsal, so I tried, but it didn't work, which I guess amused them a little. I started looking at what was the same in the room and what was different. Almost everything looked the same to me. There were these shelves and these pictures. I noticed that the frames of the pictures were a different color than they were IRL (actually, almost everything was different and we had no pictures or shelves IRL). There was also a wall cabinet with a brown fabric curtain and I had the feeling that something green was peeking out - an iguana. I went to look, but my cat came out. Goals! Verbal commands and then meeting my dream guide. I try "Clarity now!" but the dream already has great clarity, so what can improve? On the contrary, it gets slightly worse. But only for a moment. I leave the room and try "Increase lucidity", but nothing noticeable happens. I see a green jacket on the rack and I try to make it disappear. Might be easier than with humans. But nothing. I try again and the whole hallway to the living room disappears in a blur. I use the door to the second bedroom and walk into a large room that looks like a gym. There are mats, exercise equipment, and large windows facing the city street. I try to do a somersault on the mat, but I stop halfway through and just roll. The movement feels realistic. Goals! I walk across the room and shout "Dream, dream, give me my dream guide". I turn around and there's a curtain to the left of the windows (probably a mini room with more equipment) and my guide comes out from behind the curtain. She's a black woman, in her fifties, maybe early sixties (probably not, her hair is still dark brown/black and not grey), curvy but not obese, with big boobs. I met her once before in a daydream and she was an old white woman but I know it’s her. I said, "You've been here the whole time." She nods. We go and sit down on the leather upholstered couch that's appeared there for us. I said I didn't know how much time we had, or maybe she asked, either way, I knew she wanted and needed to know. I replied, "I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't come straight here. But I tried not to linger too long."She nods. I asked: "Will you teach me something?" She smiled. I started to wake up. Maybe she wanted to teach me DEILD? But more likely I was too excited
2nd May 2021 Fragment: Initially something about Terraria. I'm on some kind of mini MMO server. It's 2D at first as it should be, but then starts to become 2.5D and eventually blends into normal reality as I exit some caves I'd been mining in. There was a lot of ore in the caves, but mostly copper and iron. I exit the cave to an exterior location. It's sunny but I'm under the shade of a metal canopy of some kind. I have guns like in UT or something. There are some flying enemies nearby, to my right, and I think about shooting them with a beam weapon but I don't for some reason. They have wings? Are they eyes, maybe? Some kind of stereotype fantasy creature, at any rate. Then I climb or jump down further ahead, where there's a lower roof, using it as a midway point to the ground. There's a human but he's some kind of boss? I'm talking with H at the same time, discussing what's happening I think. Some recall is missing but I eventually change to a traditional sniper rifle and fire at point blank range against the man's neck. I can imagine the bullet and it goes through the front of the neck but leaves no visible wound or blood and it gets lodged under the cranium at the back, on the right side. But then the person becomes H and I turn the head to inspect and there's the lump of the bullet about where I thought it would be. I tell H it's fine, we'll get someone to remove it. 4th May 2021 Fragment: Something about schools part of a network/group called "plus (something)"? I'm in a town but unsure where. Reminds me of my native country and there's these small and perfectly laid out buildings, which are taking over everywhere as if they are invading and replacing other things. The buildings are alien in origin or something, the dream implies, but they look like regular buildings in a modern style, though having something to do with this group of schools or something. There's some kind of instancing effect going on and things phase in and out of reality depending on where I stand exactly; in the phase space there are only two specific things to eat for some reason and this becomes a way for me to identify that I'm in this phased space. I think something about the colour of the atmosphere changes too but recall is somewhat muddled and partly gone and some bits of this feel as if they were from an earlier awakening. Some recall is missing but later on, there's some bit in a kitchen underground in a bunker of some kind and this is like the headquarters of whatever is going on. In this kitchen, there are two women, they are busy cooking and concocting things? I think they have aprons on but I don't recall any other details other than that maybe one had her hair tied up. They are the masterminds, it's implied somehow. They don't seem to care about my presence. The door to the kitchen is locked with some type of electronically controlled lock and some people want to get in here because a meteor is crashing soon and this is the safest place, even within the entirety of this bunker. There's a large window into the next room and there are random groupings of people through there. I remember interacting and talking with the two women but I'm not sure what any of us said. Then the meteor hits and some people outside the room get scared but nothing much happens other than some prolonged shaking. (recall gap) Outside with someone, implied to be after the meteor hit on the surface. I was here before at some point in the dream but it wasn't like this, everything looks kind of orange and wrecked now, debris and general mess everywhere. There are dead headcrabs? The person I'm with is cooking and eating them. (gap) Some other bit where I see a city like London (which layout I know vaguely) in some kind of overview and it's broken up by ravines and mountains. Someone wants a new map made to reflect all this or something and I or another dream character draw it on some kind of black sandy stuff with a stick or rod? The lines are a dark blood red.
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