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comment dream lucid

Thinking a lot about dreaming before falling asleep.

Ramp
Driving a motorbike off a ramp, jumping into the air. It was supposed to test something, maybe how someone got killed. Beaches all around and low tide.

Walk with V
With V in the forest, talking about how often I go out. I told him I help my family walking their dog.

Hair
I was talking with someone about which hairstyle I would like.

False lucid
I was walking down a path, playing some game. I think I did it for a second time and in an opposite direction, but that was just a vague memory. The rules were that you had to be lucid and do various tasks.
There was a corner of a rock where the path led along a narrow ledge and I met a boy and a girl there. I offered the girl if she wanted to sit with me for a while and we crawled into this grassy alcove, letting the boy pass.
I asked her what her name was and she told me her name. I told her I was Indigo. I asked how it was going so far and she said good, but she actually wanted to go so she wouldn't waste her time. So we said goodbye.
It occurred to me that I've been lucid for a long time, that I've never had a LD this long, like 2 hours. But good for me - long LD = better chance of winning for me, while others have to do it in parts.
I checked the paper with the tasks and it said to rubb our hands, so I did it, even though I thought I didn't need to, but I saw the organizer in front of me, so I wanted to get points.
Then I saw more organizers around the corner and there was a fridge and I climbed on it and rearranged some food. I suddenly knew they were evil and decided to confront them - I told them I knew who they were and that they were serving the dark lord. They had a gun. I said they could kill me, but I had a plan to escape by waking up
I closed my eyes and opened them and nothing, I was still there. That surprised me. I tried again and failed again. I remembered the reddit poll "can you wake up from a LD" and my answer "yes, reliably". That's what I get for that.
I tried blinking really fast again, but it didn't work.
Then I was in this labyrinth of big metal cabinets. I felt like I'd been lucid for an awfully long time, hours. I asked the organizers what they had done to my body in reality, that I was still asleep. They grinned, which worried me. Maybe I'm in a coma or something. But maybe not, and I have to wake up sometime. I figured there was probably a purpose for me there, something I needed to do. Somehow save everything and defeat them.
I had this stick in my hand with some roots on the end. I've been poking around under the cupboards with it, seeing if there's some object that will allow me to save everything. I must have a reason to have that stick for...
I felt myself waking up, and I thought "finally".
I knew instantly that I was waking up from a false lucid.

I logged keywords for the dream because I really liked it and wanted to remember.
I felt confident that there could be a LD after this. I reiterated the intention to lucid dream. It took me some time to fall asleep again.

Train to Birmingham
I was at the station and it was about trains. Z said there was a train leaving for Birmingham and she was going to take it. I said that the train to Birmingham was useless to me, that we usually go via Manchester, and she was surprised.
I walked with her on the way to the trains and there was the time and the Birmingham sign by the steps to the platform and it was flashing as if the train was about to leave. I hesitated for a moment but let it go, it wouldn't do me any good.
I went back to the main concourse to look at the departures board to see what else was coming. The board was just changing. That's all I remember - the next was probably the transition into the false awakening.

Real lucid - Meeting my dream guide
I woke up in our bedroom and immediately suspected it was a FA. But as soon as I realized it, my vision got worse and I could only see two blurs. I was afraid I was going to wake up, but I knew I was still in a dream. It occurred to me to start picturing a deck chair and a beach or something, as what people do when they have sleep paralysis.
Suddenly something disturbed me and I opened my eyes and I was awake and it was still a FA. Yes!
I sat on the bed and R was awake next to me and there was also J. I knew I could ignore them, but I wanted to make them disappear with a snap of my fingers like in the daydream rehearsal, so I tried, but it didn't work, which I guess amused them a little.
I started looking at what was the same in the room and what was different. Almost everything looked the same to me. There were these shelves and these pictures. I noticed that the frames of the pictures were a different color than they were IRL (actually, almost everything was different and we had no pictures or shelves IRL).
There was also a wall cabinet with a brown fabric curtain and I had the feeling that something green was peeking out - an iguana. I went to look, but my cat came out.
Goals! Verbal commands and then meeting my dream guide. I try "Clarity now!" but the dream already has great clarity, so what can improve? On the contrary, it gets slightly worse. But only for a moment. I leave the room and try "Increase lucidity", but nothing noticeable happens. I see a green jacket on the rack and I try to make it disappear. Might be easier than with humans. But nothing. I try again and the whole hallway to the living room disappears in a blur.
I use the door to the second bedroom and walk into a large room that looks like a gym. There are mats, exercise equipment, and large windows facing the city street.
I try to do a somersault on the mat, but I stop halfway through and just roll. The movement feels realistic.
Goals! I walk across the room and shout "Dream, dream, give me my dream guide".
I turn around and there's a curtain to the left of the windows (probably a mini room with more equipment) and my guide comes out from behind the curtain. She's a black woman, in her fifties, maybe early sixties (probably not, her hair is still dark brown/black and not grey), curvy but not obese, with big boobs. I met her once before in a daydream and she was an old white woman but I know it’s her.
I said, "You've been here the whole time." She nods.
We go and sit down on the leather upholstered couch that's appeared there for us. I said I didn't know how much time we had, or maybe she asked, either way, I knew she wanted and needed to know.
I replied, "I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't come straight here. But I tried not to linger too long."She nods.
I asked: "Will you teach me something?" She smiled.
I started to wake up. Maybe she wanted to teach me DEILD? But more likely I was too excited

2nd May 2021

Fragment:

Initially something about Terraria. I'm on some kind of mini MMO server. It's 2D at first as it should be, but then starts to become 2.5D and eventually blends into normal reality as I exit some caves I'd been mining in. There was a lot of ore in the caves, but mostly copper and iron.

I exit the cave to an exterior location. It's sunny but I'm under the shade of a metal canopy of some kind. I have guns like in UT or something. There are some flying enemies nearby, to my right, and I think about shooting them with a beam weapon but I don't for some reason. They have wings? Are they eyes, maybe? Some kind of stereotype fantasy creature, at any rate.

Then I climb or jump down further ahead, where there's a lower roof, using it as a midway point to the ground. There's a human but he's some kind of boss? I'm talking with H at the same time, discussing what's happening I think. Some recall is missing but I eventually change to a traditional sniper rifle and fire at point blank range against the man's neck. I can imagine the bullet and it goes through the front of the neck but leaves no visible wound or blood and it gets lodged under the cranium at the back, on the right side.

But then the person becomes H and I turn the head to inspect and there's the lump of the bullet about where I thought it would be. I tell H it's fine, we'll get someone to remove it.

---

4th May 2021

Fragment:

Something about schools part of a network/group called "plus (something)"? I'm in a town but unsure where. Reminds me of my native country and there's these small and perfectly laid out buildings, which are taking over everywhere as if they are invading and replacing other things. The buildings are alien in origin or something, the dream implies, but they look like regular buildings in a modern style, though having something to do with this group of schools or something.

There's some kind of instancing effect going on and things phase in and out of reality depending on where I stand exactly; in the phase space there are only two specific things to eat for some reason and this becomes a way for me to identify that I'm in this phased space. I think something about the colour of the atmosphere changes too but recall is somewhat muddled and partly gone and some bits of this feel as if they were from an earlier awakening.

Some recall is missing but later on, there's some bit in a kitchen underground in a bunker of some kind and this is like the headquarters of whatever is going on. In this kitchen, there are two women, they are busy cooking and concocting things? I think they have aprons on but I don't recall any other details other than that maybe one had her hair tied up. They are the masterminds, it's implied somehow. They don't seem to care about my presence. The door to the kitchen is locked with some type of electronically controlled lock and some people want to get in here because a meteor is crashing soon and this is the safest place, even within the entirety of this bunker. There's a large window into the next room and there are random groupings of people through there. I remember interacting and talking with the two women but I'm not sure what any of us said.

Then the meteor hits and some people outside the room get scared but nothing much happens other than some prolonged shaking.

(recall gap)

Outside with someone, implied to be after the meteor hit on the surface. I was here before at some point in the dream but it wasn't like this, everything looks kind of orange and wrecked now, debris and general mess everywhere. There are dead headcrabs? The person I'm with is cooking and eating them.

(gap)

Some other bit where I see a city like London (which layout I know vaguely) in some kind of overview and it's broken up by ravines and mountains. Someone wants a new map made to reflect all this or something and I or another dream character draw it on some kind of black sandy stuff with a stick or rod? The lines are a dark blood red.

22nd April 2021

There are quite a few personal thoughts and notes here but I guess when are dreams ever anything other than personal? But this took me quite a while to type up, which is frustrating on some level.

Fragment:

Playing DII, with the barbarian. I remember I look at the waypoints and see I'm in Act 3 but it's actually hell (Act 4). The colours all look weird, the character looks a fuzzy dark navy blue on some parts. It's generally dark and I am going to where Diablo "lives", I remember going past the hellforge or something.

Very little recall of this dream but it had a strange feel to it, a bit like some of the weirder pre-sleep dreams I used to get as a kid, where reality made no sense with waking physics and was all fuzzy like static noise.

(DFLN) Dream:

Spoiler for Lengthy dream:

I'm in BL, in a dream generated location. I'm feeling preoccupied about basic totems for some reason, something about acquiring more while AFK. I go around to where AH's base is, but it's not at all like her waking life base and is on a different world. I play or hear some voice recording of her, talking about AFK gains and stuff like that. Her voice is soft and quieter than I would expect. Her base is massively unfinished and her character is just sitting here in the middle of it all.

Occasionally I see the character turn or twitch randomly and on closer inspection an interface element reveals that it's possessed by a "PharmBot" user entity, briefly, which in the dream I have knowledge of being a bot that keeps track of peoples' farms and then reports their status on a Discord server. Walking around and seeing the unfinished base, I notice I still have permissions in some parts of it. I think to myself, maybe I can ask for a special permission to be able to finish up her base for her. I feel a sadness of sorts. I talk to H about all of this?

The world is a lush type and green-ish for the most part but there is a dominant pale yellow tint.

Then, I eventually wander off in a random direction and find some creatures over a lava pit place. The dream starts to feel more like DOOM now but visually remains mostly the same. I shoot some energy weapons at the creatures and kill a few of them quickly but I start to feel overwhelmed by their numbers. Some look a bit like cacodemons or something but not quite, and the rest are generic mish-mash. I think I fall in the lava and get annoyed or frustrated by how sticky it is and how I'm going to die and have to come back here.

(recall gap)

I'm in our office/computer room but it's mixed with the old home. I have knowledge of it being where L's room would have been. I'm sitting with someone at the desk, a guy, he's to my left. I'm teaching him something about drawing. He asks me about making a logo and I say that it depends, things can vary based on budget. If he wanted to just spend five on it, then this pen I have that he seems to be interested in, that would do. I forget the conversation details, but this person is a dream character who is a generic friend in the dream's context, though maybe closer than just an acquaintance.

The doorbell rings (I forget the sound it makes) and I go to answer the door. It was day in the office but now I'm in the corridor, it's dark. I make a mistake, instead of going to the hall on the right I go straight through mom and dad's bedroom where mom seems to be sleeping and I go into mom's study. There's a twilight or dawn ambience in here. I realise this isn't the right place to be at all and start to feel rushed to answer the door, turning around and walking quickly back through to the hall, then opening the front door cautiously, not remembering I could have looked through the seeing hole.

The person is a maid and she doesn't look like anyone I know. I wait or ask for an explanation. She's black, though a relatively light tone, not much darker than me in reality. Her hair is sort of curly, medium length and is tied up in a bunch at the top rear of her head. I hold onto the door as we talk, apprehensive for some reason.

She explains that mom's old maid (who I haven't seen in many years) won't be coming anymore because she's been ill and only been getting worse. I'm not told what with, exactly, but there's an implied sense of a condition much like mine.

Spoiler for slightly erotic:

I think because of waking reality, I have an erection in the dream, possibly since I got up and started walking from the office room, though I tried keeping it from seeming obvious. When she walks further into the hall, her right hand brushes past my legs and she doesn't say anything but immediately looks apprehensive and embarrassed.

She says something and feels she must excuse herself for today. I feel I leave an unwarranted poor impression on her.

(gap)

Still at the old home and in the same general dream context, in terms of ambience etc. There's something about dad, he's talking with me and someone else. He tells us about having found a cancer, a melanoma. He has no top on and feels around his right arm with his left hand and finds the point. It's inside, near the join to the forearm. I wonder about removal with chemotherapy and stuff. I have some kind of daydream thing where I see myself having that entire area surgically removed, being left with a hole there very near the inner elbow. It seems excessive and like it would leave me weak because of how much of that area is muscle but I also wonder if the doctors couldn't put in an artificial and flexible latticed matrix of some kind, for the body to use as framework for regeneration, like scaffolding or the beams in a building. But I feel they'd never bother with such a thing.

Spoiler for Notes, spoilered for length:

- AH passed away from cancer earlier this year and one thing I have felt sad about is that what little rights I had left around her base were taken away from me by people I don't even know, even if I understand that her legacy was willingly left to these people, who she did know. I suppose it's made me think about how in my perception, some people just have more "rights" on the memory of someone. It doesn't feel fair, but I guess very little feels fair to me these days.

-- On the topic of fairness, this morning after I got up from bed, I was feeling easily annoyed by some things, mostly environmental issues that I feel unable to help with as an individual, because of the way society is set up. This came about in part because it was a recycling day.

- Dad doesn't have any cancer that we know of and to be honest I think most of the cancer themes in the dream were really just a manifestation of somewhat irrational worries I get about having cancer myself. Especially with AH's passing, I have become somewhat more fearful of having something like that happen to me and the worst of it is that even through these reminders I find myself spending time doing lots of meaningless things. I end up feeling helpless in a sense, feeling like I won't accomplish anything meaningful in my lifetime and that I won't leave a legacy behind that is what I would like to leave behind.

-- This is especially true of my creative activities, where I fear that if I would simply pass away all of a sudden, the things that would be left behind wouldn't reflect enough about how I feel about life, emotions, pain and other certain topics. I feel like the very thing I want to make depictions about (my condition and its limitations) is exactly what stops me from doing something meaningful. I often feel too tired and unable to engage myself into a creative mode, especially lately. The latter half of last year felt decent in creative terms and I thought that because I am being more functional with my current medication that this trend would continue.

- Lately, oddly enough, I tend to recall fairly well what I am thinking of before bed, but I still do not notice any transition into sleep and my thoughts eventually become dispersed anyway. Last night in bed I was thinking about BL:TPS and how its story had been written and how it compared to BL2 and BL3 and how BL1 tied into all of it too. I remember I was also thinking about Freelancer and certain story moments, as well as the game world in general. I had a few thoughts about DV and the members I know a bit better but recall of this is more vague now. I do remember thinking about what OccipitalRed has said recently about consciousness and awareness whilst dreaming in general even in non-lucid contexts.

-- Notably, I don't ever seem to dream about the very last things I think of. Frequently, the subjects I end up dreaming about stem either from pertinent thoughts (conscious or just below the threshold) through a day or from a couple of hours before bed.

- Although I didn't realise it until writing out this DJ entry, I feel like the part of the dream about the maid was a spin on the lusty maid story cliche, something that consciously doesn't attract me very much. The irony here is that the maid that in the dream was ill, was someone who I did feel attracted to when I was a teenager and the maid in the dream had some resemblance to her.

- I did feel some sort of sadness when I learned that mom's former maid was unwell, especially because of the feeling of it being something similar to what I have.

8th April 2021

Scraps:

(chronology unknown)

I'm in a ship in space. There's a Freelancer feel to things but things look more realistic. I'm flying with two escorts through some kind of debris field and when we encounter some hostiles I shoot one of my wingmen by accident at one point. My ship has enough firepower that it's pretty much a one-shot kill and a message comes up and tells me I have failed the mission. I can't understand it because the wingmen were not marked as mission-critical.

I click retry or something but then I'm doing different things. Vague recall of a more normal Freelancer sequence where I'm in an Eagle and using Salamanca weapons. Intense manoeuvring.

Some other sequence. Also in a game of some kind? Doing some kind of time-trial thing and there's a score multiplier that goes up to x30. It works like the DOOM arcade trials in a sense but the game itself is a mix of RoR2 and something else, having a more crude feel to it. There's a swampy area I go through and maybe some kind of ancient temple. The ambience seems a bit grungy and not particularly bright.

Another thing, relating to the space bit. I am in some kind of station, it's advanced. There's a lot of green and black and I think there are many enemies. My relative power level to theirs is massively superior but it still takes a little bit of time to clear enemies. I'm trying to get to an access or lift perhaps. The area has a very open-design kind of look and is like some kind of massive sci-fi raid dungeon.

21st March 2021

Dream:

At a dining table? Not sure if it's even in a room exactly, but there's a feel of the dining room at my old home. Mom and T are playing some strange eastern game or something involving objects they throw over to each other. The table is long like a festive dining table? Something about decorating it.

The trim of the table has been painstakingly put together from dozens or hundreds of strips of decorative paper or something. Another bit uses some kind of holographic projection. I wonder or ask why it simply wasn't all done with the projection method.

(recall gap)

Some bit in a town. Looks like my native country, streets very similar to that of towns near where I used to live. I'm coming up a hilly bit on foot. There's someone I'm supposed to meet and pick up but I have to tell him I won't be able to. I see him by some kind of public transport stop.

He's a black teen, with short hair. I ask him if he's waiting for one of us, from my family. He confirms that he is. I then explain that I won't be able to take him because I don't have a car right now. Dad or L is using it?

He doesn't seem to be disappointed and explains that he got a vehicle of his own and will be able to use that; it's some kind of trike?

I ask him to be careful, I think I'll feel responsible if he has an accident.




22nd March 2021

Dream:

I'm in a tank, at first in some kind of RTS-like view mode, but soon after moving around this scenario for a bit it changes to a regular (closer) third-person view.

I find some targets along the way and destroy them, as I'm headed somewhere. An enemy base of some kind? The enemy units seem frightened and try to keep as much distance as possible and avoid me. I fire the main cannon but also use the secondary gun to destroy enemy targets.

I remember feeling myself use a keyboard and maybe seeing it too (old yellowed keyboard?) to control cannon pitch and yaw. I also have a secondary type of ammo for the cannon, some miniature warheads, which I use a few times?

Eventually, after all the ground targets are down, I head towards a square-ish hole in the ground. I switch to a first person view now, in which I can see the cannon sticking out. I "crawl" down into the hole slowly, not wanting to fall down as there is a drop and a boss down below. Some kind of giant, an avatar of some deity I think.

I try firing one of the warheads into the room below since I don't actually have direct line of sight to the boss but it doesn't seem to affect it, as a health bar for the boss an a UI remains unchanged.

Hesitant, I eventually go down. I engage this avatar in combat using my main cannon and trying to keep my distance from its swiping. The avatar has a muscled and male form, it's colouration is dark, maybe a black tone like basalt.

He talks to me as he fights, but I cannot recall what about. I don't do much damage and the boss kills me eventually. I respawn in a chamber adjacent to the boss room. The whole place has an ancient classical look to it. Although this passes me by in the dream, it actually reminds me of Act2 levels from Daikatana.

The boss room itself had a very similar look. It is octagonal and with a few (sort of) central pillars. There's a shallow level of water and it looks clear. This water is also present in the other large room I was respawned in.

After a tiny bit of exploring? I try to get the boss to come out of his room since there's actually more room to fight him in this one. It doesn't work though, he's apparently "leashed" and eventually I just go back in the main boss room again.

I can't recall the rest but the dream went on for quite a while.


Notes:
- I don't know why but I feel compelled to register a sudden observation. Lately in dreams I feel there has been some absence of emotion.

- The deity's avatar was probably based off some recent boss fights in some games.

- Although it's unusual that I had some awareness of the keyboard in a way that made me step out of "tunnel vision", for the most part in that dream I was just immersed into its reality in the same way that I am when playing a game in waking reality.

17th March 2021

(didn't capture recall before it faded)

Fragment:

I am driving; I'm in the middle of a fast changing situation?

I made a game of some kind and I'm playing through it. Maybe it's like Doom in gameplay but some part of it makes me think of AvP.



18th March 2021

Fragment:

Black cat, rubbing it under where the rib cage started as it seemed to be where it enjoyed it most. Unusually, this unnerved me a bit for some reason. H is sitting next to me and giving the cat attention too. The cat resembled Y. (in-lne note, it's possible it unnerved me because a dream character is effectively a part of me, and I don't particularly like being touched under or on the sternum but I wouldn't have much of a problem with doing this with a pet if it's what it wanted)

Fragment:

At my old home's town. Driving down through the avenue that is by the church. I'm a passenger. The driving and such are all on the correct side.

I see the cafe that's to my left, the one that has the office supplies shop. It's front end is being expanded, like they're adding on to the in-door esplanade space. In the dream I assume this has something to do with Covid and social distancing.

I'm upstairs with some people. One of them play the guitar and I also want to play. After a while I take the guitar and start to play "who says" by John Mayer, it feels very realistic. Elina says something about how good it is to be able to play guitar and that I should keep it going.

I went to sleep very late and know that I usually get lucids when I resleep in the morning. I program my brain to know that it's going to be a dream when I re-sleep which created this intresting dream.

It's pitch black but I'm councious. I'm trying to feel where I am because I can't use my vision and touch a wooden surface. I now know that I am in the kitchen. I try to get my vision but does not succeed. I feel my way foreward and come to the sink. I feel on the metallic water tap and turn it on. I put my mouth under and drink some water and it feels realistic. I try to open my eyes but I'm afraid that I might open my real eyes and wake up. Somehow I enter a game in a fast transition and lose my lucidity. My whole view is a pixilated game that is in a third person view tomb with a dark brown color theme. I'm an adventerur who dodge some tornadoes thrown away at me by some wizards.

I woke up thirsty with a dry throat because I was drinking in the dream.

25th January 2021

Fragment:

Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

26th January 2021

Dream:

I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

I feel disappointed, or hurt.

Dream:

I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

I can't recall where we go or end up.

---

Notes:
- Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
-- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

- The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

I'm walking on a big sea with Albin. I don't know if anyone told me but I'm a dragon too. There are some red lightnings and mini thunder storms over the water. I tell Albin that I get a bad feeling from the red lightnings as I fly up in the air, inspecting the lightnings from above. Albin tells me that I need to cross the red lightnings in order to enjoy life. There is a door to a big room with some red lightnings in front of it. Albin invites me but I don't want to go in because of the red lightnings. I decide to go in anyway after some time. There are a bunch of people in there that are dancing traditional fast paced pair dances. I join a girl in my age with dark hair. We dance some kind of dance where you touch hands in the air above your heads and take big steps to the sides, almost jumping. I really enjoy myself. I fly to the roof as the dream transitions to some kind of game where I see different characters' portraits. I see a dragon man that I apparently have a 73 % win rate with.

I'm at some kind of party with my cousins and big family. I am able to fly but only really bad. I see some helium balloons against the roof and figure that if I use them I will be able to fly better. When I take them down they drop down as if they never had helium in them. I talk with Elina and she tries to find a book that she can rip apart in order to give me some wings that I can use to fly better. She finds a book about horses that she wants to rip apart. I ask her if it doesn't belong to anyone. Sara comes in and apparently it's hers. I tell Elina that we can't destroy it. I fly away but not that good. There is some kind of discus competition where people throw things with style in order to collect points.

15th January 2021

Dream:

I am delivering a Borderlands mission. The UI is like BL1 but I'm not actually in one of the games from the series. I can choose between two legendary rewards. One is a sniper and the other a grenade launcher. I check for some kind of extra stats which are supposed to appear in blue; the grenade launchers' tooltip is greatly expanded and there's something about it having a unique ability which allows summoning one of five vehicles of choice.

I'm what looks like either a warehouse district or an airbase/military base. Mom and dad are here and some other people I don't recall, too. H is nearby?

Anyway, I decide to summon one of the vehicles. It's a very Metal Slug-esque tank and it has a somewhat shiny panelling, either red or grey.

Skipping ahead a bit. In an abandoned, disused or ruined area. I go through some dark tunnel and fighting stuff happens. Then an interaction with some character makes me reveal that it had been some kind of theme park, long ago (I surprise myself?).

There is what looks like giant heads of an extremely realistic-looking horse and a canid of some sort. Their mouths or lips move about, but as if swaying with no control. I think about it a little bit and conclude it's the wind. We are near the coast. It's sunny but sunset-like and looks like a scene off DSII; the lips of the animal heads look ripped, like they're made of leather or some kind of heavy duty material chosen to be close enough to real textures.

I think some part of me thinks about drawing.

14th January 2021

Fragment:

Something about being at a family gathering of some sort. The house is a mix of my old home and my aunt B's house.

My siblings are here but I don't recall the room we're in. We play some kind of reality-blended game in which I am looking for gold to be found under floor tiles. I remember we discuss some game statistics. I cut up some tile and beneath I find copper pipe for water and am slightly disappointed and relieved I didn't cut through it.

In the kitchen, which looks like the oldest version of the one from the old home, I see some kind of little poster or card about mood and being sorry from my aunt.

Vague recall of using one of those rounded metal body box cutters.

The atmosphere was like the blinds were all rolled down but allowing light through. There was a warm look of light that I haven't seen for some time now.

13th January 2021

Initial recall had been decent but I didn't take any notes and I was too focused on other things in the morning.

Fragment:

Playing some kind of game; blended with reality. I'm in an area with crops, I can't remember how far along they are but it's a sunny day. I have some recall of my sibling T being nearby; does an in-game emote and then sits down under a tree's shade. Had a generic farmer look. Part of the behaviour was blended with what I might expect from H.

Something about going up some stairs before that, a much darker place. It was also a game-like reality and something about it now just makes me think of L4D or KF.

9th January 2021

Fragment:

(from last to earliest)

Watching, or playing a game like War Thunder but it also included infantry. It was going a little bit wacky by the end of the dream with weird physics bugs. At some point I recall seeing some soldiers from a third-person point of view behind them where they would set off some rockets but then ride them; with the weird physics bugs it resulted in a lot of stuff bouncing around the place and I remember one of the rockets detonated on colliding sideways with a rocket launching flatbed truck.

An earlier sequence, was with H in an alternate version of the town we live in. We went to some kind of physical therapy group and we were both doing the same activities. By the end H was complaining it had hurt him and he couldn't see the benefit as a result of this. I remember saying something about how this being how it always was (for me).

Another part. Half participating, half watching; some kind of mega rally race thing. Two motorbikes in the lead, the one with the greater lead is from the USA and the second one is from the UK; I remember seeing this second bike, it seemingly had no rider and it had a Union Jack paint job that actually looked decent.

There were hundreds of other cars and motorbikes on this race, I recall seeing them on a map which showed the entire circuit - it was a very long and convoluted circuit in a mountainous area - but they were literally several miles off these two leading bikes. The bike from the USA still had many seconds of lead on the UK bike. Vague recall of my dad being nearby?

20th December 2020

Fragment:

Last bit. Building some new Ryzen computer. I'm struggling to put in ancillary wires on a boxy thing on top of the case, which supposedly has the new CPU itself. I wonder why it fits so badly and I think that I'll need H's help for this.

Just before that, I'm in a reality that has Sims-based rules or something like that and I'm in first person and building ourselves a house together with H.

Before this I'm in a church walking up the aisle at a quick pace. I think it's day time outside and there's a nice sort of yellow natural light indoors. The altar area looks like a semi octagon or hexagon. The church is filling up and when I was walking up the aisle I was doing so with my eldest sibling, apparently a bishop in red garments with white undercloth and a red cap. He goes to sit where bishops are apparently supposed to sit, on some sort of commode things by the altar.

There was more but recall was lost.

9th December 2020

Fragment:

Some bits in the car with H. I remember it was night time. Vague recall relating to something BL-like too. (location recall faded and dream not visually present in my mind anymore)

13th December 2020

Dream:

I am in some town, it is day time but nearly sunset. There's some downward ramp bit which leads out of town but there's a fence at the end of the ramp and I recognise this as being some kind of little construction supplies area. There's nobody around? (rest of this first dream bit recall had faded)

Then I am in my old town. It seems kind of dark and I'm walking up the avenue next to the church but I'm on the road itself, not the pavement. Not a night sky, just a black one. (like in a recent previous dream)

Things are RPG-like I note, and I spot some enemy players coming from the opposite way, toward me and from two opposing ends of the roundabout at the top. It starts to feel like DOTA and the view becomes more top-down too.

I try to lure one of these enemy players over to my side/area and I make sure to stay at a certain distance from them (interface perception of attack ranges?). I sense an allied player is nearby too. Me and one of the enemies stun each other simultaneously and then the other enemy player comes in. I get the first one nearly dead kind of quickly but I too am near death and so I wonder why my ally isn't or hasn't been helping me fight.

Friendly mobs come around from "behind" and I get the first enemy player killed, I'm very, very nearly dead and I retreat away. My ally finally joins in and distracts the second enemy.

I get to our main base and am thinking about how my HP regeneration is so slow and how I should (could) improve my strength stat to better this. I remember thinking or noticing that I didn't buy any of the usual starting items like I should have, not even tango or branch.