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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

A scene like Charlie's Angels, with mom or friends. We are leaving some restaurant or BnB and some bad dudes are coming in and we notice them. We pretend to leave but we just park our cars strategically out of sight and stay behind to watch them and then do something to interfere with their plans.

Some love story between some young lady and a young guy. They lie naked in bed, there is so much love. Some day he becomes paralyzed, no reaction, lifeless. Everybody comes to pay respects thinking he is dead, but she refuses to bury him. She sings for him, talks to him, everyone thinks she's gone nuts, but he is not decomposing. Then one day he slowly starts regaining movement and tries to communicate, but there's lots of people in the house. There is one guy who has always hoped to conquer the love of the lady and she is considering maybe allow him in her life. Meanwhile the guy in the bed has gained awareness and his moving his hands, trying to make some noise to get her attention. He is not having much success so he uses telekinesis and starts throwing things around and making a mess. Then I see this story is a movie I am watching and it goes to commercials. My mom sends me a message, needs me to pick her up and take her somewhere, so I stop watching the movie and go get her in a tiny bike.

I am attending my guru's teachings, it's the last day and everybody is dressed up and I am not. But I am in my hotel room and start trying amazing dresses. I take so long to choose one, that meanwhile everybody's gone. Then the yellow dress that I chose becomes a kind of evil suit that grows green tissue over my skin, including a hoodie over my head. I look in the mirror and I look like a scary elf. I rip it off, but it grows back again and again. I am freaking out.

Then it gets dark and I am on the streets, sitting on a bench. Two cars from some gang pass by slowly. I avoid eye contact but one guy comes out and looks interested in me. I get up and start walking away. I look back and a guy starts throwing knives at me. I dodge all the knives, then escape to some alley but he keeps coming. He comes closer, but then sits down and hints that he won't hurt me. I hide behind some wall but peak to see what he is all about. He takes out some candy, like waffle with chocolate and ice cream. I dislike but accept and eat along with him. He asks questions, we talk nonsense. Then some girl joins, talks about hard life in the hood, we agree it will get much worse in the near future. Then everybody is running on the street and saying "You don't know? It's Patricia." And we go to the end of the street and see a projection in the sky honoring the fallen from the Hunger Games. Then this girl takes me in. She rescues and nurses mutant and monstrous animals, but they are actually adorable creatures. She puts to bed a kind of centipede with many heads that looks like a plush toy. I cuddle the centipede and all its heads jump on me and lick me like puppies and dozens of other creatures appear jumping and get all over me. So cute.

One loving girlfriend and a violent boyfriend

I had been pretending being a guy and been dressing up as one... and the girl that was my girlfriend found out. She was deeply upset, throwing out all my clothes from my car. Then she looked at me and stopped. I stared at her as well. She then sat in the front seat and told me that she kind of wanted me to still be that guy. That we could pretend like nothing happened. I really liked her, so I agreed and that's how my real identity disappeared.
She told me she wanted to go to a specific destination and wanted me to take her there. I got into the car and suddenly we were in a building, she glanced at me and mimic: "Remember." There were other people and they all seemed interested in knowing me. I needed to remember who I had become to be able to be with her, my love.

The people looked different with different clothes, hairstyles and some even had pointy ears. My girlfriend waved at me and told me that she wanted to show me something. As we walked out of that small room I noticed that everyone looked really odd, like elves. She wanted me to show people what love is and the only way I could figure out how was to throw petals from a balcony. Which was prohibited. Since the people took notice of this I kind of got myself into trouble. Suddenly my girlfriend and my best friend came to my rescue since they had been climbing up to the balcony just to find me before getting caught. I was hiding behind her skirt with the flower basket when she talked to the angry citizens. My best friend helped with the explaining and the obvious misunderstanding. But it seemed like it didn't help so I took my girlfriend's hand and ran away.
We were chased all the way home and outside a very tall muscular man were waiting. He wanted to hurt my girl so I went outside to meet him and told him off.
"I was the one who did it, I should be the one who gets the blame. I should be punished not her! So now leave!"
The man did as I told him.

Later I was sitting on a toilet out in the open with people walking by. It was kind of disturbing. But I didn’t have the time to really think about it because of the turmoil going on behind me. It was the same man trying to beat up his girlfriend, it seemed. I got up from the toilet seat and both kicked and punched him a several times. The wounded and scared girl ran away just briefly thanking me. I ended the fight with wiping my butt on his white t-shirt. Like a dog. Then I was too scared to show myself as a guy so I went somewhere else and quickly changed appearance. It didn’t take very long until that same man found me but this time he seemed kind of interested in me. He showed me around in a magical forest, there was a sick dragon desperate in need of help which he gladly took care of. He even had a dog that my dog liked and just everything about him was so different. When we came back I found a toilet and discovered that I had diarrhea but he didn’t seem to really care. He lifted me up and carried me away the a bedroom. I got the feeling that none of us actually wanted to do it really. I was just laying on the bed not trying to move and he was merely touching me. That bold man was now my boyfriend but I just didn’t really like that much. I was thinking about my old life with my girlfriend and realized that I missed her. I wanted her back.
I should never had let her go. My beautiful blonde girl.




Me and my girlfriend ^

Morning of July 12, 2018. Thursday.



My dream is set in our present home, though it is rendered as somewhat larger. I am in the lounge room.

A beautiful little parakeet, mainly an atypical mix of green, yellow, white, and blue, is hopping around from one of my hands to another, also up and down my arm.

Zsuzsanna comes into our lounge room. The bird flies up and onto Zsuzsanna’s left shoulder.

I have a vague expectation that the bird might fly off, but it continues to sit on her shoulder, watching me. I experience a sense of peace and joy. On one level, I realize that I am controlling the bird’s actions and behavior, though this is in the back of my mind. (This is similar to how, in apex lucidity, I manipulate vestibular system correlation autosymbolism when rendered as birds in flight so that they freeze in midair and become suspended silhouettes, though I am not lucid here.)

This dream is NOT based on memory or memory processing as many so-called researchers or “experts” claim.

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This dream is NOT a result of events of the previous day as many people claim.

The only traceable thread relevant to waking life is based on how our oldest daughter carries mice around, as they run up and down her arms, and I sometimes ask her if they might jump from her, but that has not happened.

This dream is NOT symbolic in waking life context, which is typically not possible when not conscious and not lucid, despite the misguided claims of both “professionals” and random people in society.

This dream is autosymbolic (simultaneously symbolic of sleeping, dreaming, transpersonal, biological, and waking processes) of transpersonal communication between Zsuzsanna and I (which occurs in waking life as a flash of “blue fire” in my left field of vision). Additionally; it partly stems from vestibular system correlation and the absence of the viable discernment of physicality when in REM sleep, which I have experienced in various forms in every sleep cycle since earliest memory. What, do people think the physical body flawlessly goes into the dream state and then back out when they wake? What do you think causes flying and falling dreams? In waking life, you have a real physical body. In dreams, you do not, as it is only a model; an ephemeral illusion. This is all moot, as my dream self’s focus is on exploring the nature of the dream state and waking process and its transition in anticipatory liminal focus, not waking life as a rule (other than when literalism and prescience are factors).

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#stop_dream_disinfo_now

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Morning of January 28, 1994. Friday.



In the continuation of my lifelong focus on establishing a higher understanding and control of the dream state and to vivify settings and experiences, dream control becomes a viable factor. (On the 1 to 5 scale, I am about 80% lucid until the last scene, where I become 100% lucid, and additionally lucidly omnipresent in becoming the dream state itself and my dream is greatly vivified. However, dream control and lucidity are unrelated as, through the virtuous circle effect and lifelong knowledge of autosymbolism, I liminally modulate many of my dreams without my dream self being aware I am dreaming.) It results in a setting that is much like Daisy’s first-floor apartment (yet also has an ambiguous association with the owners’ downstairs living area of the King Street boarding house). (Daisy was an elderly lady that my mother knew. We used to go to her restaurant and have hamburgers when I was young. We also visited her first-floor apartment of which was part of a commercial building near the middle of town. She had a sister who ran a record store where I got all my 45s when growing up.)

Borrowing the concept of the three witches from “Macbeth”, as well as Wendy the Good Little Witch’s mean aunts - especially as an older vivid childhood dream had been influenced by them (and I often like to borrow content from my older dreams to develop a greater clarity of mind), I willingly set the plot in motion. The witches are more like Halloween witches, though more realistic as reasonable people than in movies or television (or comic books). There is a vague association with Daisy and her sister for two of them, but they do not have their identities. The landlady of the King Street boarding house also seems partially borrowed for the persona of the third. Despite the setting being modeled after Daisy’s apartment in Florida, it actually seems to be located in La Crosse, Wisconsin in my dream’s final scene.

There is a white door (of which did not exist in real life in either facet of the composite setting) in the north wall of the living room. This is my challenge. In opening it, I will supposedly face “my greatest fear” (that is, my greatest possible dream-related fear, not a real life association) according to the information given by the three witches. They also say it is to be my greatest challenge. There is an atmosphere of sustained respect and intent. Meanwhile, the witches seem to be sewing and knitting things from spiderweb, including a sweater and larger afghan or shawl. They mostly take turns sitting on a couch that faces east.

Eventually, I go to the door (oriented to the left of their courch, though slightly west of it so that one would have to turn about to their left to see it on the north wall). I am wondering how I will (instinctively) react. I am wondering how the witches will respond to how I react.

When I open the door, my dream vivifies rather than serving as typical doorway waking autosymbolism. I open the door and walk through and suddenly find myself enjoying a sweet breeze and immediate “rush” of clarity and very pleasant and soothing summer sounds, as if I had stepped into a different dream and different level of unconsciousness. I am on the south side of the street in the 900 block of Main Street in La Crosse (a block north of the King Street boarding house even though it seemed I had just been on the first floor of that building, though again, also ambiguously modeled after Daisy’s apartment as part of the composite). The historical Christ Episcopal Church (of La Crosse) is off in the distance to my left. I hold a vague awareness of wondering if I will see my lifelong “dream girl” (precognitive identity of Zsuzsanna long before we met in real life - and she had made contact with me in real life in March of 1994, about two months after this dream). Nothing happens after this and no one else is around other than a few unknown people in the distance. It seems to be morning (even though the prior situation seemed to be taking place in early evening). I stand there enjoying the warmth and clarity and feel a deep sense of peace, which remains with me as I wake.

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In my intentional practices since I was a toddler, to modulate the dream state with allowance for RAS modulation when biologically necessary, it can easily be determined why RAS was passive here as the three witches. I was already on my way to what would otherwise be doorway waking autosymbolism, though there was no aggressive waking alert factor. Over time, this has remained a factor of both lucidity and liminal dream control, yet I was completely open to facing “my greatest fear” and this is how my dream naturally turned out without attempting to modulate the outcome as in many past dreams.

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I was in a city, and a tidal wave was moving through the streets, washing away cars and people. People were desperately trying to get into buildings (skyscrapers) to escape before the wave got there. I moved through the crowd and got to the front door of one of the skyscrapers. I rang the doorbell. Some people told me not to bother. The door opened, though, and I moved through. Two people followed me inside. I lived in that building. On the 9th floor? I briefly wondered if letting these people inside was a good idea. It was every man for himself out there. We took the elevator up, to my apartment.

I vaguely remember floating (not sure if it was in water or on air) with a girl holding on to me. We were both weightless. We were going somewhere. I remember having feelings for the girl, and loving having her so close to me. I felt happy.

video
This video was fun to make this time. The dreams were very visual and gave me lots to draw.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL5JRXNMWbc

Round 1 of dreams.

I remembered a part with my sister and I, in a tree. And a part where I was with these people walking through some place I can't remember much about. But it was like there was a word in yellow at the end of each pathway.

My memory of it gets a little clearer when I got into this city place. I talked to some guy, maybe asking him for money. Then someone was being fired and someone else got their job. It was a restaurant job. My friend and I were restaurant staff, walking around with glass pitchers of ice water to fill people's cups.

A bunch of kids were calling another kid a mean name. I was thinking of telling the kid how he was a great person. Because other kids had such a negative view of him, he would have to develop his own internal sense of self confidence. And define himself instead of letting them define him.

I ate a white dessert food in a kitchen. Some kids were saying how they don't eat or use the bathroom on the morning of cooking or eating competitions. My friend A K had a dessert food. I asked for a chunk. I needed a chunk of that dessert food to buy minutes for my phone so I could call him.

I went into the kitchen to look up his number in my old phone. It showed an app. I had to select why I didn't install the app. I selected that it was too similar to other apps I already had.

Round 2 of Dreams.

In one part, I was moving windows around on a computer.

At the end of the dreams, I was hearing my sister very emotionally crying and saying some words. Something like, "It was only two weeks. Why did we have to get into a dollar fight?" And something about "Why can't we be in Heaven for now?" Her emotion really affected me deeply. I was watching an electronic screen in the dream as I listened to her, and considered going to comfort her. But I was already listening.

I woke up in my physical bed very confused, thinking she was next door. It took me a while to realize that my sister lives upstate and that was just a dream.

Round 3 of dreams.

I was in my garage moving something. There were some melodic song lyrics I was trying to keep in my mind for when I woke up.

I "woke up" in a bright room. I had slept in a hot tub. I was trying to take down the song lyric and all these lights were on. I thought it was too much light to go to sleep again but I really wanted to record the dream. My Mom and Sister were talking in the next room, and I worried that it was making it difficult for me to concentrate on the dream. (It was a false awakening but I didn't know. )

I "woke up" again (in another False Awakening) and this time I was walking by some kids. I saw a really nice looking pink crystal on the ground and gave it to one of the kids. It was a flaky stone. Then I went down a kind of swirly pole thing on a jungle gym. As I walked around, I was relieved to know the last dream had been a false awakening. But, I didn't know this one was also a false awakening! L O L.

In the next part I was in my car outside the local deli. A guy looked stuck or confused about where to go. He was with a little girl, maybe his daughter. I had some "dream telepathy" that he was deciding between going to the deli for healthy food or walking elsewhere to an unhealthy place. I called out to him, "Go to the healthy place!" He didn't acknowledge where the words came from but he headed for the deli.

I was laying on my back and this older man was standing over me. I forgot exactly what happened but I realized it was a dream.

Then I was in "the void" but seeing images flash before my eyes. images, and words. Like credits rolling after a movie. On a black back ground. I tried to pay attention to what I was seeing, knowing I was dreaming. Some cool images appeared. Words appeared, slow enough to try to memorize at first, then sped up. I just relaxed and let it go. I was sort of moving as I watched all this but not really. I have had this feeling before, like in this Spongebob scene I had in another dream, that is hard to explain. It is like I feel like I am moving my physical body but still seeing the dream? But not quite.

I was back laying on my back with the older man there again. now he had 2 pairs of scissors. ("Scissor hands kills me, please, please, free me", and circumcision trauma, comes to mind. ) I knew it was a dream and tried to hold back his scissors. I felt he was overpowering me though. I looked in his eyes and started to say, "I love you, father." He wasn't my Dad. But those were the words that came to me. He stopped being an attacker, and became a friend. It seemed like he was really happy. Then that part ended.

Right after it ended I was back in that void, same as a paragraph or two ago. Seeing more stuff. The dream was showing me these amazing childrens book covers with colored pencil drawings of cool dinosaur types of things.

One was green with a dandelion type of thing on its head. It opened up its dandelion thing. Then the dream showed this other creature flying in the sky. This creature jumped up, went to rocket speed and caught the other flying creature in its dandelion head thing, I guess capturing or consuming it. It was awe inspiring. This was on this island thing.

Maybe some more stuff happened on the island thing. But I remember this young girl throwing 3 plastic containers into the water off a tall dock. I asked her why she did that. She said it is all biodegradable basically. I doubted the plastic would dissolve and flew down to pick it up. One thing had purple jelly in it that was getting into the water. This creature swam up to us saying "I am the sugar substitute snail" L O L.

I was feeling I might need to use the bathroom and record the dream soon since it had been so long. I thought if I asked the girl her name, it might help me come back to the dream later. I asked, "Young lady, what is your name?" She said Cheyenne or Sheyanne, however it is spelled. I mis heard the first two times and said, "Cyan?", and "Keyeanne?" She kept correcting me until I guessed, "Oh, Sheyanne?" and then I woke up in my physical bed.

Round 4 of dreams.

This one was quick. Just me at my desk, and hearing a voice say some very relevant things to my waking life. One was, "It is all about silencing the mind." And some other more personal advice I never would have gone out looking for had it not come to me in a dream.

Round 5 of dreams.

I forgot some earlier stuff but my memory starts with me in a bathroom. Then thinking of responding to a question that was posted. I became lucid somehow. I had some thoughts of morality within dreams.

Then I was running down the main road in my town, as a human, but on all fours. I picked up this little case of Pokemon cards along the side of the road, and looked at them as I ran. Running in the dream felt cool and stabilizing. Most of the cards I just passed through, but this amazing 440 H P Raikou with all gold grid on the card caught my eye. I stopped and looked at it.

One of the move slots said to wake up and write down the dream so far, then come back. So I figured I would do that.

Maybe some other stuff happened. Not sure.


Then I had a false awakening of using my voice recorder. only it was not working properly and I started to panic. As the voice recorder kept giving me problems, I panicked more and more. I got a horrible sinking feeling that I had lost it all.

I was so relieved when I awoke in my physical bed for real.

Notes.

I thought these dreams were excellent. Really enjoyed them. I had a conversation with the "dream intelligence" as I fell asleep that I think led to some really top notch dreams. Basically telling my dreams how much I care about them and such.

I had to do some experimenting with sleeping positions to fall asleep but eventually it worked. Before bed I did waking life recall of the previous day and some light cardio and stretching.



Round 1 of Dreams.
Witch Lady / Diglett attack / Guitar scales on bus / Truck into freezing water


I forgot what happened up until here. There was some context that there was a lady who was like this witch lady and I was trying to find her photograph to click on it and then be able to fight her or defeat her. There was more before that but I can't remember like where the idea of the witch lady came from and all. Maybe something to do with playing music or that she was locking up my creativity.

So, I was looking at all these photographs, but apparently the witch lady was inaccessible. They were all sort of decoys or secondary figures.

Then I was at the bottom of this hill, in this dungeon room type of thing. There were these boxes I could hit and activate and then an enemy would come out. I would fight that enemy and they would explode or whatever like in video games and coins would appear. Then, I would collect the coins.

The next phase was that the witch lady was going to roll a bunch of poor little digletts down a hill that were supposed to run me over. I started walking up the hill against the flow of Digletts rolling down. The Digletts were actually innocent victims and more on my side than hers. She was just using them for her evil purposes. I found that if I just laid down, the Digletts could roll over me with no damage.

This was interesting part because when I say "me" and "I" what it was kind of like was there was this female video game character who was the protagonist. And then I was mixing between seeing her from outside or seeing the dream from her perspective. But I had a sense that was "me" or "I" because she was the protagonist? I don't know if it was really "me" though.

So then "I" got to the top of the hill and the witch lady was mad I had made it up so far. She took hundreds of these poor Digletts and cast them into some giant folder type of thing on the side. This was supposed to destroy or sacrifice them. I thought it was sad but it seemed the witch lady couldn't quite kill me.

I forgot what happened next. Maybe I fought the witch lady or maybe more other stuff happened.

Next thing I remember, I was on this school bus. A woman I was in a long term relationship with back in college was sitting in the seat accross the aisle and one ahead. She was looking at my shirt and saying she had never seen it before. She was reading it to me. (Note to self #1*) . I was telling her that she had seen it lots of times before and I told her the proper way of saying the name on it. Then she was putting her bare foot on my shirt. This seemed normal to me.

Then there was someone who objected to her doing that. They were like, are you really going to let her just put her foot on you like that? And I felt kind of awkward because I didn't want to insult the girl but they had a point in a way. In the context of the dream, the girl putting her foot on me had more to do with just being "uncivilized" than being rude to me.

Either before or after that, I had a guitar, and so did a guy accross from me. I played a scale in kind of a cool way. I remembered the fingering to the major scales. 1, 2, 4, 1, 3, 4, 1, 3, 4, something like that, starting on the low E string. Well, I thought i was remembering it, but that seems off. Then, the guy accross from me played the same scale but in some super rock star kind of a way. He was using some double notes where he could play a note on say the twelfth fret but then play the fifth fret on the same string simultaneously and it sounded cool. It was way better than my attempt at playing. There was still a tone of not being allowed to play music though.

So then on the bus we were driving down along this road. There was some building and some kind of dirt road. The people were kind of pressuring me like, are you going to spend the rest of your life with this person? (Note to self #2*) I really honestly wasn't sure at that point and felt torn, but pressure to decide.

Then, we got to this sort of field with some small dirt hills. (Note to self #3*) There was something about having 15 minutes to get accross to the beach on the other side of the woods but not being sure if we were ready to set up this tent in the cold without having all our blankets and such. We weren't prepared for a night camping in the cold. Then the guy said he only had 15 minutes and was going to have to go all the way around. I said, no, look, there is a dirt path there you can drive on. Sure enough, he was able to drive on that dirt path and so we headed toward it. There was some ice on it but we were in a pick up truck now and should be fine if we take it slow. To the right of the path there was a body of water.

Next thing I knew, the driver was heading straight for the water, to drive over the ice. I was thinking to myself, this is a bad idea, you won't be able to drive over the ice. It will break and the car will sink. But the guy went in anyway and sure enough, the ice broke, and we were all in the car, sinking underwater. Luckily we were able to get out of the car but it was pretty scary, especially with the water being so cold.

I guess we sort of abandoned the pick up truck and were going to walk the rest of the way. Now there was a sense that someone was mad at us for drowning the pick up truck and would be coming after us.

Next part I remember, I had gotten to a house that was supposed to be my Dad's. The other two people from the pick up truck were gone. My Dad was in the bathroom or something. I was in the kitchen and saw a bag of red ground beef on the counter, like a see through plastic bag. I weighed it and it was about 4 ounces. It seemed that my Dad had seasoned it up to make something for himself. I wanted to tell my Dad that if he was the person who answered the door, the people who came to kill the other people might not know that he was not one of the people who ruined the truck or whatever else. But then they might attack my Dad so I wanted to warn my Dad to maybe leave or not answer the door?

Looking back, I realize that I was the first person they would see if they came in the house, and I wonder if anything else happened in the dream. That was as far as I could remember.

I remember physically awakening on my left side some how, even though I went to sleep on my right side. I was kind of surprised at this. The first thing that happened when I woke up was like my mind was sort of melty or something? Like I felt like I half knew that I should be thinking of what I had dreamed but my mind wasn't fully awake yet or it was still disconnected from my consciousness. Eventually, it got to where I could grab hold of my mind and think through the dreams. So I stayed still, and thought, and nothing, nothing, nothing came until I think the detail of the red meat came to mind, then the ice water, and it all kind of flowed until nothing else would come to mind. I was able to wait long enough to pee to think back to that witch lady part and try to remember further and further back, but I couldn't get to any earlier than looking through the photos and trying to "click" on the witch lady to access her.

I am not too angry about forgetting that part because I am surprised how much I remembered for just the first time waking up through the night. Maybe I want to use a voice recorder through the night instead of the computer screen, so I don't get so much light exposure, but I don't know how to set it up.











Round 2 of Dreams.
"Crash in my back yard / Talking Turkey"

I woke up from this dream, started to remember it, then fell asleep a little bit again. So I think I lost some, but here is what I remembered.

I forgot a lot of the beginning. But where my memory of this dream begins, I was sitting at my Nana's table with my sister. I was sitting where my Nana sits, which looks out at the whole back yard. My sister was sitting with her back to the wall where the T V is. I think my sister was drawing something and I was talking to her about it. She might have fallen off her chair or something, I don't quite remember, but it was something.

Then, I looked out the back yard through the windows on the door and saw this giant black metal sort of thing. I was like, my goodness, that is definitely unusual. I didn't think I might be dreaming, but I was pretty surprised. I think I tried to point it out to my sister and she said, oh, its nothing.

Then there were some police officers at my door. Some kindness came over me and I invited them inside the house, rather than keep them standing at the door. They were telling me how they came because there was a huge car crash and explosion in my back yard. We were on this big set of pink carpeted stairs, and all the police officers were all sitting around and laying down on the stairs. I kept noticing there was a table we could all go sit at, but I guess we all wanted to stay on the stairs. They were asking me when was my last time on something called "2 4 7 3 6 5". I tried to think back in my head to the last time I was on "2 4 7 3 6 5". It was morning time in this dream.

I started to worry that once my Dad got home, he would be upset that I let the police officers in. So I hoped they would leave before he got home. They wanted to borrow his truck. Them taking his truck would cause him to miss his 9 A M A A meeting (he doesn't go to A A in waking life) and this made my sister upset. There were some jars of change on the steps.

At some point my perception was that the big metal thing in the back yard was put there as a barrier so I wouldn't have to witness the wreckage of the car crash. But really I think that the big metal thing was the thing that caused the "crash" effect and the explosion.

I think I forgot some more parts of the dream after that.

Next in the dream, I only remember this part about a man being lusted after by women. He had some kind of name like Georginio'Bimbi or something like that. The initials were G apostrophe B. I forgot the rest but I think he had long black hair.

I think I forgot some more parts around here.

Then the end of this dream involved a scene with two guitarists on stage. I remember touching one of their guitars and noticing all the different wah wah pedal types of things there were on it. The guitarists seemed like they were going to have some kind of "guitar duel" but they ended up playing along with each other. They both had long hair and maybe beards.

Then the guy on the right dropped down to do abdominal crunches while the guitarist on the left continued playing. The guy did abdominal crunches to the tune of the guitarists playing.

Then I think there was a screen showing some of the antics back stage to the audience as the two guitarists did this performance. A guy came along and stole the guy's guitar who was doing the crunches. He ways sort of muttering to himself (for the crowd to hear, because he was acting) that he always wanted a guitar like this. So the "dream screen" followed him as he took it behind the back stage curtain and he wished for a car. A red recliner chair was along the side of a grey stair case and this seemed to be the fulfillment of his wish. On the chair there was a big raw turkey. On the turkey was some writing, something like, "I can have what I want." The guy either laid back on the turkey or he threw the turkey to the side before sitting down. Then he reclined back as far as he could in the red recliner chair, talking about how he was so happy to have his new car, by which he meant he was so happy to have the chair, but the chair was his "car". He was going to play guitar while reclining all the way back and he seemed so happy about it. I think the stair case would have got in the way of the neck of the guitar because it was right up against it. All this scene from the chair was seen from like a side profile view.

So I woke up from these and began to think through them. It was like I knew something had happened but I didn't know what it was, so I kept trying to remember, and eventually, the details came up. As I was thinking about the part with the turkey, I fell back to sleep. I had a dream of a turkey singing "I'm talking!" In a deep voice kind of like Plankton's voice from Spongebob. That is not the first time I have been thinking of a dream detail from a dream I just had, woken up, and thought about it, and suddenly I was in a dream all about that dream detail. Interesting phenomenon.










Round 3 of Dreams.

I forgot some earlier parts of this dream. Also my dream notes were not sequential so I am not really sure what order this all happened in. I will try to put it in the best order I can. (Usually I like to put the dream in the order it happened if possible. )

There was a part with my sister and it was her "last day visiting". I remember being unable to sleep and not really knowing how to handle her leaving. There was also a part where I was walking through the neighborhood with my sister and encountered my sister's friend's brother in a hooded sweater. I think it was on one of the roads I walk to the grocery store on because I remember the chain fence behind him and it looked like where I make that turn. But I remembered thinking I have no idea who these people are.

So then, there was this part where I was dreaming of having difficulty sleeping. I was wondering what to do. I tried looking on You Tube and I found this one guy's video that was interesting. I don't remember the content but it was definitely pretty cool. I tried to copy paste the title of the video but I noticed it contained some parts that weren't letters. They were actually like bars that I could slide a little bar along like a volume or brightness bar to control the percentage of certain content within the video? Kind of hard to explain. One of the sliding scales was called something like "transgender". So I guess the higher I put that scale, the more of a "transgender" quality the video would have?

At first I thought the Youtube video person was really cool but then it turned out they had a lot of issues. They were a black haired transgender person who was raging at everyone. It seemed like they were trying to stand up for themselves though. I remember they went down some stairs, and I kind of went down the stairs, too. I had to go down them backwards so I didn't hurt my knees.

I was thinking they are so angry because they are just constipated, or that if they would walk down the stairs backwards, like I did, they wouldn't be so upset. (Note to self #4*)

I am not totally sure of the order of events in this dream or if I missed anything. But next, some of my friends from high school were around. My friend Tom had a big game boy. He was drinking too much alcohol and then shutting the game boy around his head, so you could only see a game boy where his head was. Then, he was sitting on the edge of the table, and fell off it backwards, hitting his head really hard on the ground, with the game boy on his head. It looked like he had a brief case on his head. I was concerned that he must have been really hurt, but he got up and said he was fine! I didn't realize it was a dream.

Then there was a part where there were two locations the dream would toggle between. It was a Pokemon game kind of thing and I wish I remembered more of it. Each location had a brown portal and a white portal. One portal brought me one place, one portal brought me back. The portals were like glowing concentric circles in the ground. Okay, so then it was some sort of Pokemon battle thing, but I mainly wanted to just walk around the level. I was seeing the "dream screen" as if it was the view point you see when you play Pokemon on gameboy (like ruby/sapphire generation).

Then I was sitting with a woman and she was showing me some kind of maps or schematics. She sat down on my leg to show the maps or schematics to me. I was really sort of in love at that point because I guess that is definitely a sign she liked me, and usually when a female shows the slightest sign of interest in me, I fall in love!

There was this part where these brown socks I have appeared. The woman and I were both looking at the sock and it had a hole in the back of it above the heel that looked like the hole in the hat where you adjust the width. So there was a part where the "dream screen" just showed both socks.

Then the woman and I were sitting in some bleachers but in my living room. We were sitting pretty high up on them, towards the back. We were looking out at the beach one moment, then it was in my house. We were talking about getting jobs so we could have a life together. I was looking at a schematic and the view of the beach and saying how it wouldn't be that difficult for me to make schematics for a living. It is much harder for the people who have to actually build it or make the materials, but just making the schematic is easy, and I could do that for a living. She was talking about getting a late shift, like noon to 8 or 4 to 12. We were saying how if we both still like each other when we have jobs, we can be together. It was very loving. I was sitting slightly behind her at one point with my face in her hair, kind of holding her like a big hug from behind, how some couples sometimes sit. Like a spooning hug I guess you would call it, I don't know. It felt really like a gift because I felt a lot of love for this dream person.

I started to worry that my Dad would get home. Sure enough, he came in the front door. My attention went away from the woman and I guess she dissappeared. He had just gotten home from somewhere. He laid down on the lowest bench of the bleachers to do a bench press. Somehow he had got 150 pounds from the floor to the bench press position without actually having spotter racks like bench press racks in the gym do. The bleachers made long benches for bench pressing. I went to spot my Dad and accidentally pushed the bar down instead of helping him up with it but he still pressed the bar anyway, so i was relieved I didn't crush him. Then I noticed it was an E Z bar, which means it isn't a straight bar, it has kind of pointy parts as it is bent at different angles. There is usually a pointy part in the very middle of an E Z bar and he was bouncing this part of the bar so hard off his rib cage that I could see his rib cage get pressed down and bounce back up. I was thinking to myself, that is so dangerous, he really should not bounce the bar like that. But he was even throwing the bar in the air and catching it, and then at the end of his set, he flung the bar on the ground in front of him. That would be a very unusual way to lift weights in waking life, but I didn't become lucidly aware. Next, I saw another barbell, but it was only half the length of a barbell. I thought of my olympic barbell in the basement and that I could get that for him instead, but then the dream situation shifted again.

He had gone out to get a second "yard scooper" so that we would have two such shovels to use as two "shovel arms" for picking things up in the yard. But he forgot to get the second one while he was out. I was thinking of other things we could use in the mean time so he didn't have to rush back out.

I wrote that at some point, there was a thing with Eminem lyrics, but I have no idea where this fits. It wasn't the content of the youtube video so I guess I will just leave it at that. I also vaguely remember some sort of buildings near a beach, but the buildings were like marketplaces with no roofs. I didn't know where that fit, either. I woke up from every dream with that image in mind but couldn't really think of what had happened regarding it.

I woke up from these dreams but fell back asleep midway of thinking through them. Luckily, I didn't lose all the details. I was groggy throughout this night when it came to waking up to recall dreams. But I had enough energy to keep myself up long enough to remember the dream before I went back to sleep.

Later on I also remembered that I had a dream where I was trying to post a dream journal entry on a forum somewhere. I was falling behind on my posts but not because I wasn't writing them. I was just working on multiple posts at once so I was going to post them all once I finished them all, instead of one at a time. I was trying to make a post to explain to anyone who wanted to read my dream journal entries that I was sorry for the delay but there would be a lot of posts soon. (This came from my idea of going back to older dreams in my DJ and posting them up in archived DJ entries. ) I was actually thinking of dreams I have actually had within this dream when thinking of the dreams I would post.











Round 4 of dreams.

I forgot what happened in the beginning of this dream. It was something with my sister and Aunt. My memory of the dream starts with me walking through this market place and there was a 20 percent off sale. The coupon was a piece of paper kind of ripped into a square, but then it had another square cut out of its center which I was trying to tape back in. I hoped that I could use multiple coupons, but then I realized I didn't need anything from this store, and so even at 80% off, it is still not a good expense of my money. Then there was someone, maybe my sister, or someone else, who wanted to go to the sale. So she was waiting for some guy to walk through the door so she could hand off her baby to him. He would be walking through the door at exactly 10:08 or 10:09 A M (something like that) and so she would walk out just as he was walking in and hand off her baby to him.

I guess a lot of these perceptions in dreams of the context of what is going on around me is telepathic because usually it is not said outright.

The next part was pretty interesting. I went to the end of a hallway and into this room behind a plastic curtain, like they have at gym showers. I started to notice lots of quarters on the floor and thought, maybe I dropped them there. (This makes me think there was some part of the dream in which I was already dealing with dream money but I can't remember. ) So I picked up one quarter, and then there was another, until one after another after another appeared. I looked at them, and they were silver, and seemed like waking life quarters. Some even had states on the back or eagles. Then, as I went more to my left, there were fifty cent pieces, some of those European coins with the silver around it and gold in the middle, and then gold dollar or five or even ten dollar coins in the shower part of the room. One of the quarters that was tails up, showing a bald eagle, was darker in color. I noticed this but just explained it to myself as waking life because money can get some dirt on it sometimes. I was feeling such a high from finding all of this money. The thought occured to me that it might be a dream. I think I finger palm tested a little, but eventually talked myself out of it being a dream! (Now upon awakening I find humor in that. ) As I picked up the coins, I had the sense come over me that they weren't mine. I was going to take them all anyway, and hoped that whoever they belonged to wouldn't come to get them before I finished gathering them all up.

Then I walked out from there and still had the money in mind but there was another objective now. I had on a black shirt with some red design on it, like a red square. Everyone else seemed to be wearing this dark green science olympiad shirt that I got in high school or middle school and it still fits me. My sister was one floor up but could talk down to me. She told me to change out of my "nice clothes" before I come up, because they were using lots of cleaning chemicals up there. I saw that she was wearing that green shirt and I thought of changing into that shirt too. For some reason I proceded to go upstairs. But I had forgotten to change my shirt first and was upset with myself, because I would have to go all the way back down. Going up, I think the stairs were a little funny.

My friend Yanni was playing a plastic water bottle as if it were a saxophone. I thought to myself, wow, I didn't know you could play a plastic water bottle so well and make such a great sound. Auditorially, I heard real saxophone music. Yanni was trying to attract a woman.

When I went back down the stairs, I noticed they were a little different than they were going up. There were like 4 or 6 steps, then it turned 90 degrees and there were 4 or 6 more steps, then it turned again and there was a really long set of steps going down. This seemed unusual to me but I didn't become lucidly aware or thinking of checking if I was dreaming. I remember the stairs were a little slippery at one point as I went down them forwards and I got really scared. I had to catch my balance on the side of the stair well and then started going down the stairs more carefully.

As I went down the stairs, I saw a few things. One was a grey electronic key board. I played it a little but was afraid it would get in the way of Yanni's music, so i stopped. (A lot of dreams were about a fear of playing music, which is coming up in my waking life as I consider picking up guitar again. ) I also saw this Kirby "alarm game" which was like a video game console. Also, I saw another quarter, but this one was clearly a fake plastic quarter, so I just returned it to the ground.

I got back downstairs and now Yanni was at the foot of the stairs, still playing saxophone. I wondered how he got there again. I walked through this row of bushes into a hallway and there were these really cool exotic flowers. They were bundled really close together and looked or felt kind of like fabric. There were sky blue, goldenrod, pink or red ones, and other colors. I noticed one flower seemed different but didn't think much of it. They were all along the side of this hallway.

I think some more stuff happened that I forgot. But then I found myself writing out what had happened so far, like I was doing a dream journal entry, but I was still in the same place. Unless I had dreamed of waking up, and forgot. I just felt like I was still in the same place.

After I felt I had finished journaling, I got up and started helping set up for the party. As I went along, I began to have more dream memories pop into my head, so I wanted to be sure I wouldn't forget them. I found myself a white piece of printer paper and ripped a little corner off to use for notes. I looked for a writing utensil and found a colored pencil that looked different colors but said dark brown on it. It was more like a mix of light brown and orange! But the text on the colored pencil in the dream was very clear. I rotated the colored pencil around to find this word for the color on there. The tip was very sharp. I was not lucidly aware, but I was doing all of this with some level of consciousness, just not knowing it was a dream. I remember thinking it was pretty cool that dream memories would just pop into my mind as I went about my activities, so I would always have another memory to look forward to. I leaned up against a solid surface and wrote about the Kirby alarm, something else I had seen, and then I was going to write that I saw Yanni playing saxophone. I felt self conscious to write about Yanni because he was standing right near by, but I justified it like, I am writing my dream, it is not about him. Just as I wrote the name "Yanni" on the paper, he actually started to walk towards me. I was like, uh oh. Then, he started to talk to me about telekinesis. (I find it amazing how in my dreams, telekinesis is very common place, but in waking life, it is harder to notice. )

Other stuff may have happened. I woke up and thought through these dreams, glad to recover them in some good level of detail.

(I wanted to note that I had been setting a strong intention to practice dream recall within a lucid dream because I heard that any action performed in the lucid dream state is seven to nine times stronger than an action performed in waking life. So I figured doing dream recall within a dream would boost my dream recall in waking life. It was cool to me how immediately this translated into a non lucid dream about dream recall. )










Round 5 of sleep.

I tried to do a wake back to bed after the last dream by doing some light physical activity and then going back to bed. I fell back asleep after what seemed like a long time of waiting there awake, and then woke up from that sleep with no dreams I could remember. That was a little dissappointing. I tried to sleep again but couldn't. I got up to start the day.

Morning of October 17, 2017. Tuesday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we appear now are living in the Cubitis house. There is a gentle rain. I am aware that our oldest son will be returning from his job (same job as in real life despite the erroneous 1978 setting of Florida rather than here in Australia). I contemplate if one of us should go and get him so that he will not get wet walking back in the rain. Zsuzsanna says that she will when the time comes.

I am in the living room with Zsuzsanna. I look out the windows into the Cubitis backyard (it seems to be late morning but still raining) and notice a row of tall purple larkspurs that are close to the windows, under the awnings, and parallel to the entire east side of the house. They are not yet in full bloom. I think about asking Zsuzsanna when she planted them (perhaps very early on the previous morning), as I do not recall when she could have done this, which puzzles me slightly as I consider how wonderfully industrious and sedulous she is.

In an area near the center of the large backyard are a few weeds where there is otherwise mostly short grass, but I also see about three or four potato plants in a couple random spots. It is raining, so I will pull out the weeds later. There is a vivid sense of love and peace.

Zsuzsanna tells me that our oldest son will probably be off work about an hour early, as people do not usually shop there when it is raining. (This turned out to be prescient curiously enough, and it has not happened in this way before. I fail to see why people would stay home from shopping just because it is raining, but I guess I forgot that some people are “depressed” by rainy weather, whereas I am not.)

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I have been a devoted dream journalist all my life (and I even married my literal dream girl) and yet have never held any interest or belief in “interpretation”, mainly because my dreams, other than literally prescient threads, naturally decode themselves prior to fully waking, revealing their origins and manner of synthesis, but also because my dreams have held the same basic components and patterns, especially variations of waking symbolism and the same RAS triggers (such as emergent alertness to real environmental noise) since early childhood.

---

Look closely at the threads that are accurate and those that have no basis for accuracy.

My personified subconscious (dream self) is aware that I am happily married to Zsuzsanna, yet we are living in a house in America (Florida), where Zsuzsanna (and our children) have never been and I have not been since 1978 when I was only seventeen. (Zsuzsanna and our children have always lived in Australia.) This is not even the house in Wisconsin I was living in years before Zsuzsanna and I first began writing to each other.

My dream self is aware that it is raining in real life at our present location (and in fact, this dream began within seconds of falling asleep again) and (again, as in the above paragraph) I am in a different house in my dream, also aware that it is raining, yet without the awareness of where I am in time and space (and how interesting is that?).

I am aware that our oldest son has a job and even the exact location of where he works, and yet again, there is no conflict between the impossible contrast of living in Cubitis (an isolated rural area through which only a small highway intersected) and in an urban area in a different country. (My dream self usually does not find the implication of either bilocation or mixed-up composites, which are very common in my dreams, as unusual in any way.)

I am aware that there are weeds in our backyard in real life (it has been raining continuously for a few days), yet (again) this is rendered into the backyard of an incorrect setting.

Despite the otherwise fictional nature of this scenario, there are a few real-life factors, and even a typical thread of prescience (which I have always experienced on a day-to-day basis, yet do not always go into detail about as my entries are often already very long).

---

Last night, I had this very vivid dream. The worst part is, I didn't get the girls name! Though I do recall at some point I was desperately trying to get her number...

Anyway! Here's the story...

A new girl had moved into the neighbourhood with her family. She was tall, slender and had brown/brunette hair. I kept seeing her climb and jump over walls with great speed whilst viewing her from within my home. She wore a Pokemon jacket. One day, I saw her entering her home across the street from me. She picked up on that and so teased me by kind of waving but not, and having her family tease me along with her - acting as though I can't see them as I thought they couldn't see me looking at her.

After a bit of back and forthing with these antics, said girl finally came over and introduced herself to my family. She seemed rather timid and shy but kooky and interesting. I was afraid of what I might say in case it offended her and she'd zip right off again and not want anything to do with me. Then, the worse scenario happened.

My mum told this girl all of my private and embarrassing moments all within the space of what seemed like five minutes. I pulled my t-shirt up, hiding my face from embarrassment and thoughts that this girl will never date me. I went upstairs, decidedly wallowing in my bath tub (which was empty), fully clothed drinking beer. This girl knows all my darkest secrets, what difference does it make now if she sees me drinking beer in a bath tub, right?

The girl came up stairs and said something along the lines of "I don't drink alcohol that often, but I don't mind a cocktail every now and then" - trying to be on my level and relate with me somewhat. Is she dropping a hint that she's somewhat interested in me? Who knows, but it sure felt that way. As she went back down stairs, I noticed her Pokemon jacket and some figurines were in my old bedroom (from when I was younger). I sat on my bed and sniffed into her jacket, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when I could smell her scent. She then came back upstairs again saying she was leaving and that she's come to collect her figurines (forgetting about her jacket, she was a bit of an oddball like that).

As she left, I felt some form of relief as the girl could no longer hear from my mum about all this - and I have her jacket! Bonus! She may come back and that will spark up some personal conversation without having the whole family listen in!

Indeed, as I looked out my bedroom window, she too had noticed that she had "forgotten" her jacket as she was at the front door of her house - her mother with the door opened and talking to some business person looking to make a quick buck - the girl walked into her house and immediately came running back over the road, claiming for her jacket.

I gave it to her, but as she was about to leave I stopped her and asked for her phone number. At this point I was starting to gain consciousness heading back into reality. I was trying my damndest to stay in the dream so I could learn more about her - but I felt the same compelling passion as many of you on this thread have also felt. This quirky, kooky girl feels like my "soulmate" and I woke up hating myself because none of it was real.

I, too, have been single for some time now (about a year) and maybe this vivid dream is reminding me to take some kind of action? I don't know, but I'm not one to force a relationship to happen. Save for the fact I attend these occasional geek meets we have here in the UK, I've had no luck meeting such an odd and unique character at these meets. Hopefully this soulmate is out there and we can meet.

I was in a high school, investigating the various paranormal objects that show up there. I found a creepy Japanese-looking doll in a kimono, which legends say will turn into someone's true love if you perform a ritual and did not look at it. I did so, and in the last part I had to count to ten as the doll transformed and I was filled with fear. It became somebody I knew who was a bit confused.

Later I was at an art teacher's workshop, and he apparently had another paranormal object.

It started out at my local church, (which i thought was quite normal since I was there the night before) my friends were wearing suits and dresses confused I asked my friend what was going on, she told me it was Amy's wedding, however for some reason I felt bad or jealous, still I proceeded to meet her and congratulate her, as I was walking to the church and her parents (which I haven't met in real life) saw me, her father told me to go away as he said he has found a suitable guy for her and ordered the mother not to let me in the wedding, he went away after saying that then the mother looking concerned told me that the guy is really old and an abusive person and I am the only one that can save her, this really confused like why me? Why was the father annoyed with me? I entered the church like I normally did, however my church wasn't the same it had many floors (my church has a ground floor) and the setting looked like corridors from a school. I walked around getting weird stares from the people inside, then an older man saw me (I assumed it was Amy's fiance), he said something and chased me around the building angrily. The dream finally ended with me finding Amy's room where she was getting ready with my other friends helping her, she was in her wedding dress and she came really close to me, like as if she was about to kiss me and gazed at me, the dream ended when the fiance entered the room.


(The girl (Amy) who is in my dream is a classmate, more of a friend sometimes we walk home together but I have never thought about her from crush point of view nor I had any sexual feelings for her, however I've always thought she quite beautiful and kinda cute also she is really introverted. I feel sometimes she has a thing for me because I catch her looking at me and she looks away embarrassed or smiles really awkwardly.)

Sso iv started setting up my voice recorder bon my phone up before i go to sleep and after iv had a dream and i wake up, i grab the phone and leave a voice recording of my dream iv just wopken uip from At 4:21 am!

So last night was a continuation from the night previous...the same blond female called "Hannah" (Who is my dream life girlfriend) We were at some kind of party together in somekind of high storey/multi storey building, possibly a nightclub and i was trying to find "Hannah", for some reason my mum and my dad arrived in my dream and we were buying tickets out of a machine like chinease crackers and when we opened them we had a chance of winning free drinks and money inside of them. I had a winning ticket and it blew out of my hand and flew down this vent/tube. It turns out that these tubes are called "Travelling tubes" and you dive into them and are taken to differant levels in the building, a bit like a lift, except you fly bottom first or head first down the tube.
So i was head first down the tube to try and grab my falling ticket, I'v seen these tubes before its not the first time iv seen them in my dreams, iv had several dreams a few weeks ago with these travelling tubes in.

My friends were in the dream tonight, Kirsty,Jess,Ron,azza.
This is about as much as i can remember, but i DO remember an intense feeling of love whilst trying to find "Hannah"...I did fall back asleep and the dream DID continue but unfortunetly i totally forgot to record the second part! x

So once again another night last night were i dreamt of being in love. It's late on in the day now so its become quite sketchy what i can remember.

I Remember being in love with this girl (I think her name was hannah..??) she had short bobbed blonde hair, around 5,10 in hieght and beautifull. She was wearing a white dress. Id seen her the night before and was frantically trying to find her number on my phone but for some reason i either couldn't find it in my contacts, and her txt messages had vanished from my phone, i was starting to panic as another guy (who happens to be someone i knew years ago called "Mark") was trying to lure her away for sex. I ended up finding her at a gathering somewhere, (not sure on location), everyone was drinking, and i think "Mark" spiked my drink and i began to fade out, whilst watching him trying to seduce her away!
I woke up in the back of my car, it was still dark, and had this intense sense of panic......I rushed to find her and somehow appeared in her house possibly in her bedroom......she was asleep...she looked like an angel, then i noticed down one side of the sheet that she was in bed naked, i instantly new in my heart what had happened and upon waking her up found out that he'd been very nice to her and they'd slept together.

It was then the next day and we were together at the same gathering as the night previous night, this time my brother, ex girlfriend and couple of my mates were there as well, "Hannah" was sitting on my lap and i turned to her and said "I think i love you", she looked at me smiled and said in a friendly,playfull way "nobody THINKS at me", then kissed me, just then a couple of "marks" mates walked in creating an akward atmosphere. I remember a feeling of panic seeing them come in staring at her, and before i could move, in walks "Mark"....
I remember the feeling of complete overwhelming sense of rage and as quickly as i could i lifted "Hannah" from my lap and flew at "Mark", as i threw the first punch i awoke punching and lashing out in my bed, tears running down my face!!

These dreams of love i have most evenings...sometimes they can continue for days but each time i always remember such a strong sense of love like iv never experienced in real life before!! I don't think it's possible to really feel that strongly in real life...which i find very sad and sometimes i'm depressed for days afterwards!

I had this song running through my dream. I haven't had that for a while now.
There was a singer id found to do a remake of the song and I was shooting the video. They transitioned into different people but it was a dark haired northern girl. I went to a guy to organise this and was told id need 6 gigabytes for the upload to his equipment.

- Some guy was asking me how long i had been following a particular spiritual teacher.

- I rescued someone who was drowning.

I can usually lucid dream with abilities to wake myself up from a nightmare, control my actions, or even control whole aspects of my dreams.

but last night I had a dream that I could not do anything about. I was along for the ride.

ill cut out unimportant details.

in my dream I was my current age (27) and I was with 3 friends. we were heading to our old high school hang out spot. a small multi-level abandoned factory of some sort. we get there and I'm immediately overran with emotions of sadness, GREATLY missing her, love, and loss. I go to a spot where she and I used to sit on a ledge high on this building, and watch the sun set. when I get there I just stood there staring, missing her, and feeling so sad that she was not here. in my dreams I have flashbacks of our first kiss, me confessing my love to her, us sitting there I out cap and gowns from graduation holding hands, her crying because I had told her that I had enlisted with the army and was shipping out in a month. then one of my friends approached me and said that I didn't miss her as much as she did, and it was my fault that she is gone because I enlisted and left her. we both started to cry. so I sad down at the ledge and stared into the sunset as I cried.

then all of a sudden it was like my dream changed gears completely. the ledge changed to a back porch of a house. I was sitting there smoking a cigarette instead of crying. I hear the doorbell ring so I get up to go answer the door. as im walking towards the door 2 other friends of mine are walking the same direction. one of them yells "alright lets get this party started" I open the door and there is about 20 people all holding party supplies. they start flooding into this house like a stampede.

At the moment I hear my 3 week old son start crying and I wake up.

I'm here because the emotions from the dream have followed me into reality and I keep thinking back to the dream and I feel the emotions to the point of my eyes welling up on me.

I don't know what to make of it. if any wants to talk with me about it. or has some questions please ask away.

nothing is too personal to me as I am an open book. I will answer just about any question.