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Dream - Lucid

I was at work at what appeared to be the check out, and this older guy was telling me something about something that he wanted. It may have been a cake, but I'm not entirely positive.

Then, I was in what appeared to be some virtual reality thing, but it was actually real. This street in a town appeared in front of me and many others, and we were rollerblading down the street! There were people that were coming towards us who were also rollerblading. There were all kinds of different people blading: Kids, adults, black people, white people. At first I didn't go as fast, but then, I really remembered how to roller blade and went really fast, blading like a pro. I was avoiding hitting anyone coming towards me.

I then felt as if I was going too fast, so fast in fact that I felt that my blades were almost not touching the ground. I was going way too fast, so to slow down, I sat down on the ground. My butt lightly scraped the ground, but it didn't hurt at all.

I then was in some weird area, again, it was like virtual reality. It was like I was in some training area for a new person who was blading. It was dark with a blue floor that was slightly raised in a square shape in the middle that had two circles on it, one for me to stand on and one for the new guy to stand on. I didn't think I'd have to go through it with him, but I did. It was telling me to stand on a certain circle on the floor. This part felt like it was in third person. I went and stood on the circle.

Then the area turned into Shannon's, my manager's, house. I was in her living room, which looked small and a little cluttered with all the tables, but nice. The light was kind of dim. She also had many candles lit. She gave me a cart that had a bunch of appliances on it, speakers and other electronics, to set up in her living room. This was something that other people had done before as well. I went through, going as fast as I could putting things away in what I hoped was the right spot. When I finished, Shannon went and checked my work. Things were in the right spots, but the cords were hanging out everywhere, not how she liked it to be. She was tucking a speaker cord in that was hanging off a table, and told me I was disorganized. She kept messing with all the cords. There was one point where she had a power strip and was messing with the cords on there. She was messing with a power wrench that looked like an electrical plug, doing something to whatever was on the power strip.

Dream - Lucid

I wrote down the words "Texas toast" and "3 sisters" in the middle of the night, but I remember nothing about it.

~

I was on a trip with my family and some extended family. I was sitting on a couch in a room. An ex-cousin (he was the son of my uncle's ex-wife) who in IWL was really mean to me when we were kids was there. I had a feeling he wanted to tell me he liked me and that he could now that we weren't family anymore, but I don't remember if he did or not. I was hoping he wouldn't.

Then, we were going to go somewhere in Oregon that had a warm beach (I don't think there's a warm beach anywhere in Oregon), but we had to camp in really cold and snowy parts of California to get there. I remember my brother being there with me. We were in the snow, and night was falling. You weren't supposed to be out of your tent at nightfall because it was dangerous, and because it would get way too cold. There were other people around camping as well. I believe everyone had separate tents. I was thinking about how it would get so cold, you'd have to really bundle up in layers before you got in your sleeping bag for the night. It's like there was a special way you were supposed to dress to sleep so you'd be warm enough.

We accidentally stayed out after dark. We were by an extinguished camp fire. All the sudden, this huge beast came out of nowhere and started to eat people out of their tents! The beast reminded me of Nunu from League of Legends (of course there's a League reference here ). My brother and I thought we were screwed; there was no way that beast wouldn't approach and eat us too. He then calmed down, though, and went into a tent to sleep. This was our chance to safely enter our tents without waking the beast. I grabbed mine and picked it up and started to carry it to a location further away from the beast. The beast then came out of the tent again. A speech thing appeared above his head that said "I'm starving!!!". He grabbed the person out of the tent next to him and ate him all in one bite. He then went back into his tent. Hopefully, we were safe now.

~

I was on break at work. I was taking my temperature with a digital thermometer. I put it in my mouth, highly doubting that I had a fever. I walked around and did a couple things while taking my temp. It beeped and I took it out to look at the screen. Wow! It said 111.12. Well, I guess I did have a fever after all. I touched my forehead and it was quite warm. I wasn't supposed to be working with a fever, but I didn't tell anyone yet.

I was then clocked back in at work. I was talking to someone else who worked there, a guy, who, when I think about it now, seems familiar but I can't remember who it is, about my fever. He then asked me which thermometer I used. There were 2 or 3 digital thermometers lying about, and one old school glass thermometer. I picked up one of the digital ones and gave it to him. He put it in his mouth to take his temperature. He put it under his tongue weird though, so I wasn't sure how accurate his would be. He was looking at my calendar that is on my wall IWL while he waited.

He then finished and gave the thermometer back to me. I took my temperature again. This time, I took it out, and it said 3.35. What? Maybe I didn't have a fever. Maybe I had been standing too close to the oven when I took my temperature before. Hmm...

I was then in the back with an old friend, Dakota. He was washing dishes. There were three different 3 compartment dish sinks back there, each used to wash a certain type of dish. I knew the deli used one as well. I don't remember the type of dish he was washing; it was some kind of white container-looking thing, and there were a lot of them. He was showing me how to do it, when to move it to another sink, etc. I wondered which one was the deli sink.

~

I was riding around on this red push lawnmower by holding onto the handle and standing on another part of the handle. I was outside of an apartment complex. I remember passing a black man whom I think also mowed the lawn before. I was going around the parking lot. I then went to the side of the building and pushed the mower into these long, clear plastic boxes that had plants around the outside of them. When I pushed the mower in, the plants would instantly become shorter and trimmed. Nothing fell off of the plants; it's like I would take the mower out, there'd be a short delay, and then part of the top of the plant would be gone. I kept doing in again and again in one box, making sure I got all the plants. I don't remember if I moved on to another box or not.

I was in a house with a girl trying to figure out something about an evil mirror. The mirror tried to kill us so I freaked out and went to boxing, where I met an average looking girl and chatted with her. I returned to the house and the mirror somehow became good. I was with Laurie and we went outside. The house we were was on a coast of a large lake or ocean, so I jumped into the water. Since I saw water, I asked myself if I was dreaming. I looked at my watch, which showed time normally. I swam around and the mirror showed itself.
I was then at work in some sort of mall store and used an elevator which was a way to get to the bathroom. As I walked through a hallway, I realized my RC was actually wrong because the seconds showed where the date should have been. I noticed I didn't have my pistol on my belt and figured I must of left it in the van. As I walked, I saw a girl struggling to control a dog. I kept walking and the girl and the dog started running towards me, so I turned around and told them to stop, but instead they just ran past me, towards a guy. The girl lost control of the dog and the dog bit the guy, which worked in the building. The man started hitting the dog to the point where I had to step in and say something. We started arguing and I knew he wanted to fight. We raised our fists and he threw punches at me, which I easily dodged. I reached for my Phase IV, shook it, sprayed him, and fought back. Eventually, I got the man in cuffs and when I sat him up, he had the cuffs in front of him so I put them behind his back. My partner arrived and was thinking of calling Amerson to tell him there had been a use of force.

21.09.2014

Crazy work and traveling through a futuristic freeway. (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I had a false awakening and I went into the computer. I checked my work for the day and got very stress, because I had an order worth $850 where I needed to do six tarot readings (one hour each) as well as about 50 questions for that client's Akashic Records and he paid extra for a 24h rush delivery. I also had like an additional 200 orders to do that day and felt very overwelmed.

I had another FA where I did share with my wife about this nightmare and she said like wow. I went into the computer and had like 50 orders, which felt like a lot, but still doable. (I have high work ethics and I do not like to make people wait when they order a reading, so I try to clear all my queue every day, except Sundays that I take off unless someone pays for rush.) From here, I left the house and I wore no pants and no boxers. I got inside a house and there was a lady that appeared to be very attracted to me and wanted to have sex with me, she got turn on with me not wearing pants. She asked me about lucid dream and I told her:

"Well, I know it is not normal for me to wear no pants..." She exalted interrupting me, "Well, I like that!! She got closer to me and took her panties off.' I continued, "But normally, when you do find oddities, you must do a RC and check your hands to make sure you are not sleeping." (So much for my subconscious on this one.) She appeared to not care much and started kissing me. I did not wanted to have sex with her, and I needed to go to the bathroom. She told me where the bathroom was and it was like smaller than an airplane washroom but it had also a shower, but the toilet was like inside the shower:







It also functioned in a weird way, as I pressed a button and it turned the heat on and then the shower by itself turned on also. I could hear in a horny voice the lady callng me.

I lost focus on the dream and then appeared with my wife in the middle of the street. I realized I was dreaming because I recalled that I was in some lady's house. I took all my clothes off (which it was very hard) because I felt like flying nude. My wife demanded me an explanation, but I ignored her as I knew she was just a DC.

I once recalled again to do the Blue world dare from Dreamer and tried to look for a portal this time. I found some gentleman that was going to take a kid through "an especial place" to take him to watch some football game. I thought that would be an excellent portal for me to find, so I followed them. We got inside a restaurant, and this what I believe that it was one of my former jobs, as it was familiar. We went through a few doors downstairs until we got by a weird door. It seems that we were going to travel to New York. We got into a weird shaped van and we were in a freeway, but it looked very futuristic. I hopped for this to take me to the blue world. The guy was saying that this was a especial road and I could see on one of the green signs, "Continue driving, if you pull over, you die." He explained that it was like those old videogames you needed to keep moving in order to not die.

The kid started to playing some videogames and I lost lucidity and a little after, woke up.

Dream - Lucid

I was watching something play out about this teenage boy who was going to have a meeting at his house about a change happening with the planet's rotation. There was someone, an adult woman, who was trying to stop him from having the meeting. He did finally have the meeting, and I saw this really cool holographic image of what I guess was the Earth spinning with some gold trail coming off of it when it spun.

~

I was at work, but it was outside in this big field. It was still the bakery; there was an open building in the middle of the field. I saw Brittany, a girl I worked with at another job, shopping. Others saw her too and said hello, saying she didn't even look like she had had a baby (she had a baby a few years ago IWL). She then started to work there. I guess she worked at another store. I "remembered" that she sometimes came and worked at our store. I also saw my brother there, talking on the phone. I tried to get his attention to talk to him, but he was ignoring me. Was he mad at me for some reason?

I then walked out of the bakery and into the field. There were many people there, all outside for a very big recess. There was a school nearby. I ran into my first real boyfriend from high school, B, and someone else, a girl. They were smoking this huge, weird, skinny pipe that had traditional wooden yellow pencils sticking out from it all over the place. B asked me if I wanted to smoke. I took the weird pencil pipe and wasn't sure which side I was even supposed to smoke out of. There was smoke coming out of it, and it smelled horrible. I asked what they were even smoking, and B said it was weed and something else, can't remember what. I thought about taking a hit and being high, which would break my sobriety. It would also impair my thinking, so I decided against it. Besides, with all the smoke billowing out of that thing, I'm sure I got some sort of second-hand hit without meaning to.

I then was inside the school in a classroom. I was there with only a few others, and the light was off in the room. We had written these papers about what we wanted to do with our lives, and we would actually get to spend some time doing a sort of internship having to do with the subject of our paper. I had written about wanting to help disabled children. The teacher had already read the papers. She then told me that mine was outstanding and really praised me for it. I thought about an internship and spending a lot of time with children. I was nervous, because I really haven't spent time with little kids since I was a kid. I saw a group of people walking towards me. There were kids, adults, and what looked like a League of Legends character, Fizz I think is his name.

~

I was playing this open-world online game where you could pick your character. I was some small either blue or purple fox-like character playing with another one that was either blue or purple, whichever color I wasn't. We were running around in this field, doing some platforming and stuff. We did this for quite awhile. My character would sometimes say something in a feminine voice, like gameplay tips or something.

We then were in this boss room that we didn't mean to go into. It was a circular room with another, smaller glassed-in room in the middle. All these guys started to come out. The person I was with was now my friend Caitlin, though she was still the fox in-game. I heard her voice say something about the boss in a panic, but I can't remember what. We ran into the glassed-in room for safety, and watched more and more guys come out. We needed to get out of there somehow without getting hit. We eventually made a run for it and got out of the boss room and were in another weird-looking dark room. It was creepy because I didn't know if enemies would come out, but they didn't.

I was outside again, but this time, with a different character, a more humanoid one this time. More running around and platforming. There was a point where I was alone and platforming, and my character gave me a tip about gliding. I then was in first person, and felt like I was actually the character in the air mid-glide.

I then kept waking up every few minutes and going back to sleep briefly and entering the dream again, knowing that I had to be up for work soon. I kept seeing different, later times in the dream than it was IWL, andI'd wake up and look at the clock, only to see a few minutes had passed.

Dream - Lucid

I was in some video game when I became lucid. The lucidity lasted for a bit, but all I can remember from it was asking a Nicholas Cage,
"Tell me who you really are!"
He looked at me with a straight face, and responded with something like
"You don't want to know."
We talked some more, but I started to feel like I was talking out loud in my sleep.

I then woke up in another dream, laying on a pull-out couch. I asked whoever else was there, I think it was my brother, if I had been talking in my sleep. He said he didn't hear anything.

~

I was at work in the bakery, but, as usual, it looked nothing like the bakery does IWL. We were by a checkout counter. Someone asked me if I would mix the dough. I told them no, I wouldn't, it was too scary. The reason I said that it was scary was because when someone went to mix the dough, they had to go to a different part of the store. They had to travel through dark, creepy, cave/maze-like areas with enemies that would shoot you. You had to be armed and shoot them before they killed you. It was kind of like Doom/Goldeneye 64. The area where you mixed was also threatened by enemies. I told them that last time I did it, I was sitting down, trying not to fall asleep with my shotgun because enemies kept coming. I "remembered" this happening. I didn't want to go through that again. I preferred the safety of the bakery. There was a guy there who had been doing it every day. He held his own pretty well and was much more of an expert on it than me.

My manager then tried to toss me some frozen dough to take to the mixer. I don't remember what I did or said.

I then was really close to an enemy, an archer who slightly resembled King Graham from the Kings Quest games. His back was turned to me. I was trying to sneak up on him and throw him in the lava. I was being quiet, until I made a small noise. He heard it and turned around. We fought a little, but I don't remember much about it.

I then was going through the dark area for some reason. I had the guy in front of me who went all the time. I was shooting at enemies with a laser. I then started to get shot at, and my laser stopped working, so I turned around and ran the other way to get out of the enemy's sight. I looked down at my laser, and it was a Wiimote. When I'd fire it with the A button, the light on the Wiimote would turn red, signaling to me that I was too far away from a Wii for it to work. As I was turning a corner, a bullet grazed me, and it really hurt! That too was part of the reason I didn't like doing the dough; it hurt when you got hit, though if you died, you'd respawn.

I then saw this open part of the maze to the dough. It was very dark there. There were people there with different colored lights all down the middle of the room to direct us where to go. They also had to defend themselves from the enemies. I saw a top view of this room, and then I was at the beginning of the room. I didn't go to far into the room. I also saw, at some point, a view of a room from some stairs.

I then was at the checkout again. Someone came and asked if they had different dough runners, and they said yes. I then saw a shelf with bowls of dough on it for each day of the week, each with a different name on it. I really hoped my name wasn't up there. I looked, and didn't see it. I was, for some reason, a little disappointed, even though I didn't really want to do it.

~

I was at what was supposed to be my house, but it looked nothing like it. I kept thinking about the weed I had from a while ago that was in the top drawer of this white three drawer organizer I have. I kept thinking about when I was going to smoke it. I was then in my room, which looked like the room of my first apartment. I opened the drawer, and the bag was in there with some weed in it. I "remembered" when I bought it. I had recently smoked, maybe a few weeks prior, so my sobriety was already blown. I didn't want to smoke it inside though because it would smell like weed, and my roommates might not appreciate it. I then thought about how this woman who was living there, an older woman, liked weed, and wondered if I should ask her to smoke with me. She was there currently, the only other one home but me. I didn't ask her.

I then briefly woke up, still half in the dream world, thinking that I didn't really have any leftover weed. As I eased back into the dream world, I thought that of course I did. I went and checked again, and there it was.

Then, there was this tall, young black man in our kitchen. He had a Jamaican accent. He was yelling at us about something that we did wrong. It had something to do with work. He was mostly getting mad at two of my roommates who weren't there currently. He was yelling more and more, when finally, I had had enough and chimed in.
"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!"
I continued to yell at him, saying other things, throwing around a lot of profanities. He kept yelling also. There was one point where I was standing on a chair in front of him. I grabbed his face in my hands, which somehow corresponded to a TV screen, like this was being recorded or something, and told him that the roommates (who were an FFX character, Lulu, and someone I knew it college) were my friends, and he needed to leave them alone. The chair almost fell backwards at one point. I figured I'd probably get in trouble for this, but I didn't care; this guy was insulting people I loved. I also kept thinking that now since I was so mad I was definitely gonna smoke that weed that day.

The guy turned around and left, and I was now in the kitchen with Adam, the guy from college who was apparently my roommate, and one of the people the Jamaican man was yelling about. He was doing something by the stove. He was wearing a glittery brown plaid hat. I told him what happened. I then told him I loved his hat.
"It's so..." I started to say, when he interrupted and said
"Gay?" (IWL he is gay)
"You just wear it well!" I said.
"Thank you," he said.

~

It's interesting how after not smoking for almost two years I am still having these dreams about smoking. I guess it was such a huge influence in my life for so long, and well, it's an addiction that I've been battling for 5 years now. I guess the dreams just come with the territory.

I was working with Ron and Josh in suburban Los Lunas. We got confused at one of the stops so I stayed there reading the package and confirming it. Eventually, Ron got mad and left without me. I was still near the van when he sped off so I pretended I got hurt and rolled on the ground. I was later able to confirm the drop and ran towards the next one, which was at "Sunset Valley". I couldn't find the street and it was getting dark. I reached the end of the town to an alley called "Dark Alley", since it was so dark. I ran back and went into Alanna's house where she helped me search where the house was with a GPS. Raymond started calling me but I didn't answer. The house I had to deliver to was Destiny's house

I was at work with Ron servicing an ATM inside a building during night drops but I kept messing up so Ron started yelling at me. There were people behind us and I tried to keep my cool because I knew they were recording us. I told him stuff calmly but he kept going off. I ran away before I got in trouble for kicking his ass and saw a pretty girl walking and talking in Spanish. I talked to her and asked her for her number. She said she worked all day and didn't really use it, which made me say "You don't work ALL day," she agreed and thought about it but didn't give me her number. I said "Okay" and left. I met up another crew and started getting the drop from a safe but didn't know how to open it.

I was at work and went into a sanctuary or cave with a black rock and green stuff going through it. My partner and I got ambushed by some monsters and we got beat pretty badly. We left and went to Santa Fe, where everything was different and some guy was telling us that he doesn't do business with us anymore because he found a spider in his money bag.

A woman comes to my desk to inform me that the manager would like to see me.
I get up immediately and begin the long walk to the manager's office.
I pass by thousands of cubicles, all looking perfectly identical to one another.
The room is huge. But it's all just cubicles, sitting on a bright white and spotless white floor,
which slightly reflects what is above it.

Everyone I pass is wearing the exact same grey suit with white shirt combo.
Everyone is in shape, everyone has the same hairstyle, the same hair color, even the same eye color.
No color can be found in here. None whatsoever. Regardless of where you look, it's all white or grey.
There are no distractions. No family photos, no items on any desk besides a monitor, mouse and keyboard.
Everyone is working at maximum efficiency.

Eventually I get to the managers office. A man is leaving the office right as I arrive.
This confirms that I have been walking at precisely the right pace.
I enter the office.

"There has been a problem with your daily psych eval this morning."
"You are to be at the primary psych facilities in 12 minutes for a more in-depth test."
"Yes."

During the exchange, the manager has not even glanced at me once.
I leave the office, and begin the even longer walk to the psychiatric facilities.
As I'm walking past all the cubicles again, I notice a woman, who on closer inspection appears
to be adjusting one of her contact lenses.
As she gently pokes the grey lens, it moves just enough to reveal that she is hiding beautiful green eyes behind them.

And this is why my psych test isn't clean. It's because I notice these things.
It's because I can still occasionally feel emotions.
You're not supposed to. That's how the system works.
It's easy to achieve complete obedience and efficiency without emotions.

I arrive at the office for advanced psychiatric evaluation.
There is only one such office for the entire facility.
Tens of thousands of people, yet I'm the only one here.
I'm the only one who failed the daily eval.
I enter the office. It is very small.
It just houses a simple chair and a robot. (who looks suspiciously similar to glados)


The robot begins to scan me. I try to keep my mind clear of any thoughts.
But I know that this isn't going to help. I'm going to fail this eval. It is inevitable.
In order to disable all emotions completely, the cocktail of drugs we receive daily isn't enough.
Abstinence from all stimuli is also required.
Which is why there are no colors, no music, no socializing, no hobbies...

But the system isn't perfect... because I have seen colors. I have heard music.
I have done so in my dreams. My lucid dreams.
And although it is said that nobody has dreams anymore due to the drugs, I still do.
I think it is because I am a lucid dreamer. Nothing can take my dreams from me.

"Your evaluation is now complete. Return to work."
"Yes."

I leave the room, initially thinking that I might have tricked to robot.
No. It can't be. Someone is probably going to intercept me on the way back.
This is it then. I suppose it is over for me.
I don't really feel any emotional reaction to these thoughts at all.
Perhaps it is the drugs, or maybe I just don't care to live this life any longer.
A woman stops me.

"Excuse me?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you here?"

I got lost in thoughts...
Oh shit. I didn't return to the programming facilities!
I walked deeper into the psych facilities by accident.
This is really not supposed to happen. I can't be here.
And it is so easy to notice that I'm out of place here because they wear different uniforms.

"What is this?"

She points to a device attached to my belt...
It is an old MD player attached to it.

Not only am I in possession of a musical device. It is also partially red!
I get a bit of a mirror's edge vibe from it. The forbidden color red, the bright rooms...
The woman looks very uncomfortable and worried.

What now? Do I wait for them to come and take me? Do I run?
No, I can't possibly run. We are all dependant on the drug.
If I stop taking it, the withdrawal effects will kill me.

But then it hits me. I'm deep inside the psychiatric facilities.
This is where they make the drug. It's in the room right in front of me.
If I had enough of it, could I slowly decrease my dosage over time?
But that would mean walking into the laboratory, past a hundred scientists,
take the drug, then run, get out of the building, and survive out there alone?
I don't even know what the situation outside is.

But suddenly it becomes clear. I am not me. I am not Hyu.
Right now I am another person. And this persons plan is to escape today.
Why else would I have a red music player with me?
Why else would I have walked deep into the psychiatric facilities?

"Yes."

You're always supposed to answer yes, in order to acknowledge what you have been told.
I gently push the woman aside and enter the laboratory.
The scientists all look at me. It is so easy to see that I don't belong here at all.
But they are afraid because this is not part of their daily routine.
They just resume their work.
I walk up to the conveyor belt where the finished drug arrives, neatly packaged into futuristic syringes with 100 shots each.

"HALT!"

Ah, the cavalry has finally arrived. Took them long enough.
About a dozen man in full, black, army gear, armed with assault rifles enter the laboratory from the opposite side.
Aren't they overreacting a little here?

"SLOWLY STEP AWAY FROM THE CONVEYOR BELT!"

I wonder what the odds would be to get out of here alive if I ran.
They are still rather far away. I don't think they have a clean shot from all the way over there.
But I don't think I could make it.
My mind is too clouded by the drugs.
I don't think I could improvise, heck I can't even remember how to run.

Oh! Of course! That's what the music player is for! Emotional stimuli!
I inspect the player more closely and find some earphones attached to it.
I put them on slowly. They don't react to it.
I hit play.



Not at all what I was expecting. But it will do.
I pick up one of the syringes.
Nope? Still nothing?
I calmly begin to walk back into the direction I came from.
They keep yelling at me to stop.
I increase the volume of my music. Problem solved.
I mean, what are they going to do? Shoot me?

Someone attempts to block my passage through the door leading back out of the laboratory.
I try to push him aside, but he won't let me...
I need to get out now, so I throw a punch in his general direction.
I end up hitting them in the nose. There's blood. Lots of it.
This time I manage to push him aside since he's in shock.

Holy shit! I just punched someone in the face!
The guards accelerate their pace. Time to run.
If I run continuously in the same direction, I'm bound to find an exit right?
I mean, how big can this building possibly be?
On the first corner I get rid of my shoes, because they slide way too easily on the polished floor.
My jacket and shirt quickly follow because they are horribly uncomfortable.
I feel like the guards are slowly catching up, but fortunately they're not using their weapons.

After a few minutes of running I feel extremely exhausted.
I am fairly certain that I have reached the end of the building now, but there is no door.
I run off to the left, alongside the outer wall.
There has to be an exit here somewhere... I hope.

Eventually I encounter some curtains and push through.
The building looks much more normal here. No shiny white floors anymore.

I spot a green fire escape sign. Colors! I suppose people are not supposed to come this far.
Finally a door that looks like it leads outside. Don't be closed...

I push it open. Fresh air. The sun.

A spot a ladder that leads down to the ground.
I'll have to climb over some railing to get to it.
But the guards catch up with me before I can do so.

"STOP RIGHT NOW!"

They could just drag me back inside now.
There's no longer a need for weapons in order to stop me.
But I know how to deal with this.
All I have to do is to point up.
I do this until everyone is looking up... at the blue sky.
That leaves them completely in shock and I climb down.

There's nothing really here, besides that ridiculously large building I was just in.
No sign of anybody else.
I just pick a direction at random and walk.
Nobody is going to come after me now.
I do realize that I'm most likely not going to make it.
I don't really have any survival skills.
But I don't mind, because right now I am more alive than anyone in there will ever be.

Dream - Lucid

I was working at Target (never worked there IWL). It was a HUGE Target. I was walking around the store when a young lady stopped me and asked me if we had this one belt in her size, which was a weird size, a 70/30. She pointed to a big but short rectangular black belt that had holes down the middle. It was hanging up with a bunch of other belts that were all mixed up. It was the only belt of its kind that I could see. It looked like it wouldn't even fit around most people's waists because it was so short. Maybe it stretched. Anyway, I told her I didn't think we did, but I'd go check. I went to the front of the store and entered an office where a manager, a female, was standing up at a computer and working. I asked her if they had any more of that particular belt in a 70/30. She looked up the inventory on the computer and came up with nothing. Just as I thought, that was the only belt of that kind we had. I went back to find the lady; the store was so big and had so many shelves and aisles, it was like a maze. I found her looking at some dresses that were hung up on shelving instead of on fixtures. I told her we didn't have her size, a 70/30. She then said her size was a 30/70. I guess I had mixed it up, but regardless, we had no more belts like that. She then took a long, flowy, almost prom-like light blue dress from where it was hung up on the shelf. She was going to ask me if we had it in her size, but she then said
"Oh, it's dirty!" I looked at it to see if it was, and did see a dirty spot. She proceeded to throw the dress on the floor.
She asked if we had any more and I said no, we didn't. I looked at the other dresses that were hung up, and there weren't very many, but they were mixed up like the belts were. She started to complain about the store, all while smiling.

Then, there was something about a video game, an online one that had to do with the store, though the content of the game had nothing to do with Target. It was more like an open-world RPG. I was playing and noticed parts of it were closed. I think there was some kind of maintenance or update that was going on. I was then at the store in an office with many other employees where the managers were having a meeting with us about it. I don't remember the meeting or what was said, but after that, I kept coming into work and clocking in when I wasn't scheduled. I'd stay for a few hours, walk around, play the game, or help the bakery (waking life work coming in here), and then clock out. No one had said anything to me about it, and I thought it was ok because I thought others were doing it as well.

Then, I was clocked in not at my scheduled time. I was in the bakery. It was nighttime. I was thinking that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I then started to think about if I had worked too many hours and I as going to hit overtime. I was also trying to justify myself coming in not on my scheduled time, thinking that at least this time I was helping out and not wandering around the store for no reason. A manager then came up, the assistant store manager. He was telling Taylor and whoever else was scheduled to work something about staying late or leaving early or helping someone else out. I can't recall. But he didn't address me. I figured it was because I wasn't really scheduled to be there.

It was then 9:30 pm and the lights in the bakery all went out. We were closed for the night, even though it was a bit early for that. I guess they wanted to bakery to close early for some reason.

~

I was in the bakery again. It was nighttime again also. It felt a little like my last dream, but I can't recall if the scheduling thing carried over or not. I was about to leave when my grandma walked into the back. Her hair was up in a bunch of tiny buns, and it was blonder and thicker than it is IWL. Wow, she was working at 91 years old! Impressive! I think I "remembered" something about her having worked there for years and years. She wasn't working as a baker or anything though. She was actually working in the meat department. She got out her equipment, a knife and so forth, and started to cut some raw meat off the bone. Her hands were shaking as she did it because of her age, but she kept up. I wondered how the other employees felt about her being there for so many years. Everyone must know who she is, the 91-year-old woman still working in the meat department. I was now standing a few feet away from her. She was stooped over the sink area working. I then noticed she cut her hand a little; I saw her bleeding, but she'd just wipe it off and keep going. I asked her if she cut herself, and she said yes, but didn't stop what she was doing. Maybe she was used to it; maybe it happened all the time.

Then, I was in the bakery again on a different day. I asked someone I was working with, who was working on something on a back counter, if they knew Helen. They said yes. I told them she was my grandma. I don't remember what they said. I asked someone else this as well, and told them that she was my grandma.

~

I was with Dallas at our apartment. I was planting a bunch of vegetable seeds...in my nose. Yes, in my nose. I think Dallas planted some things in his nose as well. I had also planted some in a roll of paper towels in the bathroom, and had planted some in some cardboard or in some other substance in the living room. It was some sort of experiment we were doing on how different conditions affected the growth of the plants. I planted carrots in the left nostril and lots of tomatoes in the right nostril. I also was planting some tomatoes and possibly other veggies in the cardboard/whatever it was in the living room, and watching as sprouts would come up almost immediately after I would plant them. It was really cool to see! I saw a timer at one point that started at zero and as the plant was sprouting, it would gradually increase. I knew I needed to water them and take care of them. I knew the ones in the bathroom would be ok because of the moisture and humidity from the shower when we showered. I was thinking about watering the ones planted in the living room. I was also thinking about how in the world the ones in my nose were going to survive at all.

My nose felt runny and full from the growing vegetables. I even looked in the mirror at one point and saw some weird vegetable growing out of my nose. It looked nothing like any vegetable I know of IWL. It was long and skinny at the top, getting fatter at the bottom. The top was white, and the bottom was brown.

I then had an idea of another place to plant the vegetables, which made a lot more sense than any of the other places I had planted them. I had some white, square dinner plates on the living room floor lined up in an upside down "L" shape. I couldn't plant the seeds directly on the plates, obviously. I needed some soil. Dallas was going out somewhere, so I asked him to get some soil while he was out. I looked at him, and noticed that he was wearing a red and white vertical striped button up with a red emblem on my right (his left) upper side, on his chest, but it was unbuttoned. He had a shirt on underneath it. IWL, he would not wear anything like this; it isn't his style at all, so I was surprised to see him dressed like that. He looked skinnier than he does IWL and younger too. He had no facial hair and a few freckles on his face. In fact, in a way, his clothing reminded me of something Ryan, a guy I dated over 3 years ago, would wear. His looks kind of did too, but not a whole lot.
"You look good!" I said to him.
He really did. He looked very polished and cleaned up.

I was bent over the living room garden when something fell out of my nose. I was surprised at first, and I took a look at it. It was a large, weird looking carrot! It was orange and very fat on the top, getting skinnier towards the bottom, as carrots do, but it looked more "fake", cartoonish or something; it was very smooth. It had some leaves on the top, but not many. It was also slimy from being in my nose. I held it in my hand and examined it. I then exclaimed to Dallas
"THIS came out of my nose! THIS!!"
I was so shocked that something so big could come out of my nose!

I then had another carrot, one from the living room garden. It looked quite similar to the nose carrot, but looked more "real"; it was more rough to the touch than the nose carrot, and also wasn't slimy from the mucus. It looked healthier to me. I was thinking about why that was. I thought about sunlight and water. I think I went to wash the nose carrot off to see if that made a difference, but it still felt smooth to touch. It still didn't seem as healthy as the living room carrot.

~

That last dream was quite vivid, especially when I was looking at my husband while he was dressed in the red and white shirt. Really, all the dreams were pretty vivid last night, I'm guessing because I was so tired and didn't sleep much the night before. All in all, a great night of interesting NLDs.

Dream - Lucid

I was on a huge ship sailing on the ocean. It was nighttime. Something about a shower. The Powerpuff Girls were there. Bubbles broke off from the other girls for awhile because she believed a problem that was going on had no resolution, but towards the end of the dream, it got resolved. I was kind of disappointed that it got resolved for some reason. But what did I expect? The Powerpuff Girls TV show always had a resolution.

~

I felt myself falling back asleep after being awake for 4 hours. -_-' But anyway. I was lucid sitting up in my bed, but everything was so dim. I looked at my hands, trying to examine them and make the dream brighter and more stable, but it wasn't really working. I floated into the other room where my husband was sleeping (he got home at almost 5am IWL so he went to sleep in the other room so as not to wake me or keep me up). I started trying to talk to him. He started to get out of bed as I was doing so.
"Dallas," I rasped. It was surprisingly difficult to talk right now. I kept on anyway.
"I'm lucid reaming," I said, either I said that or something similar.
I started to undo his pants, but I woke up.

Similar scenarios kept happening over and over again. I'd feel myself going back to sleep, I'd enter a dream where I'd be in my bedroom, I'd sit up out of my body, but everything would be dim. I'd try to examine my hands to induce clarity, but it wouldn't work. I'd go try to have sex with my husband, but everything would always black out, and I'd start the whole damn cycle over again. Sometimes, I wouldn't even get as far as approaching my husband before I'd wake. I just kept thinking to myself every time before I'd black out that I must not be in a deep enough sleep.

There was one where I was looking at my hands, and imagining that they were burned or dismembered. Some of my fingers would then look weird and grown together, but that's about it.

~

I was in my apartment in my kitchen, which had a brighter, more fluorescent lighting to it than IWL. A short black girl was living with me; she was my new roommate. We were talking about something else too, and I knew she'd be a great roommate.
"We're going to get along just fine," I said, but she was on the phone. She acknowledged what I said, however, by looking at me and smiling while she was on the phone.
She then started to tell me why she used a Keurig to make her coffee. I then saw an orange Keurig on the counter making a cup of coffee. I thought about how Dallas and I had gotten an off-brand one-cup coffee maker as a wedding gift, but we still hadn't opened it. I guess there was no use for it now.

The Keurig then started to malfunction. Water was going everywhere out of the top of it. I was trying to hold the water back. I then noticed how clear and vivid all of this was, and more water started to come out. I realized I was dreaming, but woke soon after.

~

I had just gotten to work. It was my last week there. Kaitlin was going home for the day; it was two o'clock, and I was coming in to relieve her. I then was by myself, and was trying to think of why I quit, and how I wouldn't be rehiriable. I started to regret my decision. I couldn't go back to Kohl's, and now I couldn't go back here. What had I done? I actually really like this job. Where would I go now? I had no back-up plan.

I then had a customer who wanted a deli sandwich. I went to the sandwich bar and got some bread. The deli was on the opposite side of the bakery than it usually is. I also had never made a deli sandwich before, but the person working at the deli was already helping another customer. The customer, a female, was telling me what she wanted on the sandwich. I was having a hard time remembering what she was saying. I was also waiting for the sandwich bar to clear up so I'd have room; there were a couple of deli employees there already making sandwiches for customers. I put her sandwich on the end of the bar. I then saw Judy, a lady I used to work with at Kohl's, run up to the sandwich bar to help the deli really quick. I don't recall what else happened with that customer.

I then had another customer, a younger man, probably in his 30's or so. He ordered some "garlic cheesy bread". I had never done this before, so I tried to repeat his order back to him so I knew I was going to give him the right thing. I had thought he said he wanted a lot of garlic, and I picked up a shaker of garlic salt. I asked him if he wanted lots of garlic, and he said no. So I put a moderate amount on there, and asked if that was ok. He said
"It's fine," but he didn't seem happy that I had put any garlic on there at all.
I don't remember anything else about this encounter.

A lady then came to the counter and asked if Kaitlin was working. I said no, she left at 2.

I then was cleaning up a mess on the floor. It looked like some small sprinkles of flour had gotten on the floor. There was water all over the floor for me to squeegee up, but there were a couple of long rugs on the ground as well. I kept trying to not get the rugs wet, but I'd always accidentally dip the squeegee into a puddle and it would soak the rug. I was trying to squeegee all the spots of flour up, but I was having a hard time with the rugs and all. I then noticed that water was now pouring all over the floor. I looked over and saw that the clear hose that drained water from something that ran the mixer into the drain was dislodged from the drain and getting water all over the floor. Ugh. I went over and lodged the hose back into the drain. I let it go, and saw it move a little, and thought it may come back out. I tried to adjust it a bit more. I then left it alone. Water and bread dough then sputtered out of something in the mixer as the hose started to function normally again.

I then started to feel how full my belly was. I had eaten a big breakfast. I burped and puked a little bit in my mouth. Instead of swallowing it though, it came out of my mouth as little red, chunky-looking salsa bits. They landed on the ground, only about three or four of them though. I had eaten some kind of Spanish omlette with salsa for breakfast. I kept going on as if nothing happened; I didn't think any customers saw me, even though there were a lot by the sandwich bar. I then saw someone walk away from the bar who hadn't been helped yet. I guess maybe they had seen the vomit.

~

Just a side note...IWL I have not quit my bakery job. I haven't even considered it. This is the second dream I've had about it, however, the other one being a couple of nights ago.

Dream - Lucid

I was sitting in a classroom, trying to do some work. I sat down in the front row, and this black guy who resembled someone I went to elementary school with who was sitting next to me kept bugging me. I kept telling him to stop. I'd get up and move down a seat, but he'd keep bugging me. I was getting frustrated.

~

I was at my childhood neighbor's house. They have a very big family IWL (they have 4 kids; 3 boys and a girl) but now, there were even more people there. There were two other little girls there as well besides their daughter, who was having a birthday that day, her 15th. Wow, I couldn't believe she was already 15.

The two other little girls, though, there was something different about them. They looked normal enough, but they were made in a Sim game; they were real, but they weren't. It's hard to explain. I don't even really understand it.

Anyway, I was going to spend the night there. I remember one of the other little girls, a girl of probably 10 or 11 with blonde hair was there. I think I was playing with her or talking to her. I knew how much the dad loved her. I couldn't imagine how terrible it would be if something happened to her. I don't really know why I was thinking about that.

At some point, I saw my dad walking around looking at something. I saw him and then I saw my mom. My parents were here! I was so happy to see them! They had not told me that they were going to be in town, but oh well. I was just happy that they were there.

~

I was working at the bakery. I had just gotten there. It was evening time, and I was supposed to get off at 8pm. All the lights were off for some reason; I couldn't even hear the humming of the cases or any kind of electrical appliance. Yet we were still open. Weird. I thought about how that had happened before.

I was working with Kaitlin, a girl that works there IWL. She had broken up this big sugar cookie that had M&Ms in it and put it in large sample cups, but kept it behind the counter. I thought maybe she wanted to eat it. I then saw that she had found all these cake orders somewhere, but I had no idea where they had come from. One was a box of all these different slices of different cakes. It was a "variety cake box" that someone had ordered. The box it was in was colorful and advertised the fact that it was a "variety cake box". There were two of these sitting up on the counter. I saw some cakes in plastic packaging on the floor behind the counter as well.

I then was by myself for a little bit because Kaitlin went to lunch. I kept going out from the back and picking up another sample thing of those cookies to eat. I was also trying to help customers, but I didn't feel like I was doing a good job. I then was on the phone, which was on the right side of the wall as opposed to the left, and it was an older guy asking me if there were any locations in Nashville. I told him I didn't think so, but I'd check. Normally, there is a laminated list of store names, numbers, locations, and phone numbers on the wall by the phone for reference. I was looking for it, but some new lists had gotten put up, though I don't remember what they were. They looked shiny and new though, very white with a fresh coat of laminate. I finally found the list, thinking that maybe there was an Antioch location, but alas, there wasn't. I got back on the phone with him to tell him there wasn't. He asked if I knew when there would be one built, and I told him I wasn't sure.
"Oh ok..." he said.
I then had an idea.
"Sir, what's your phone number? I can call you when I know one is going to be built." I knew this may be quite a long time from now, or never, but I offered anyway.
"Oh, thank you, sweety." he said, but his tone made it sound like he didn't want me to call.

I couldn't decide whether or not to ask him to clarify whether or not he wanted me to call, but I felt like if I did, I'd be annoying him, so I didn't say anything. I didn't hear anything on the other line, so I guess that was him saying goodbye. I hung up the phone.

I then heard a lady out by the counter saying that she was from somewhere I can't remember right now and that she was just looking. I was really tired at this point for some reason. I went out there and she was looking at the decorated cake book. She was a short, older black woman wearing a red vest like they do at Walgreens. Maybe she was a Walgreen's employee. I don't think I ended up helping her. I think Kaitlin was back now and she was helping her instead. I felt even more useless now.

I then was at Subway for a short 10 minute break. I realized that I was not on my lunch, but was still on the clock, and I had left the store. Oops. I saw Taylor, a guy I work with. He was there as well on his lunch. I told him I felt like I just had to get out of the store for a little bit.

Then, I was back at the bakery, and Patti, one of the decorators, was coming in. I asked her what she was doing. She said she was working 7-close. She didn't seem happy about it. I recalled a conversation I had with her about the new scheduling system and how it was going to interfere with her watching her grandkids in the evening (I really did have this conversation with her IWL). I thought to myself the nightmare is coming true.

Dream - Lucid

I was at the house I grew up in by myself. I went into the dining room, where I was apparently cooking something on the table. I noticed that there was a puzzle on the table next to whatever I was cooking, and it was on fire. There were other things on fire as well. I froze, trying to figure out what to do. I decided to just pour water on it. I did, and it put the fire out. I examined the puzzle pieces on the table to see if they looked burnt, but they didn't; they looked completely untouched. Upon further examination, I thought I saw some small black spots on the pieces that had been burning, but I may have been looking too hard.

I was telling someone about the fire, saying that my cat had also caught on fire (I don't remember this happening in the first part but I remembered it as I was talking on the phone as if it did actually occur, if that makes sense). I believe I was on the phone. I told them that I had poured water on the flames to douse them.

~

I was working at the bakery, but it wasn't anything like the bakery IWL. It actually looked more like a food court place at a college that I worked at very briefly. Cherie' was working there with me. We were there at night closing. We were cleaning the floors.

There was a point where I was on a computer, filling out this thing to send my friends free socks. I could pick the color and everything. For one of the pairs I sent, I picked a muted teal color. I sent some to a guy I knew in college named Mason. I also sent some to my mom and Jeremiah. I "remembered" my mom loving them. I finished sending them. I asked Jeremiah, who was on a computer, if he had received the socks yet. I don't remember his answer. I hoped that everyone liked the socks.

~

I went back into the coffee shop, because apparently, I was switching jobs again. I think I had already gotten hired. I was there to talk to the managers. I went inside, and it looked so much different than IWL. It was more long-ways, with a back counter that was also quite long. The floors, walls, and ceilings were dark-colored. It was quite busy. I was sitting at a table close to the counter. I then got up and for some reason, a lady that was sitting by the wall started to spout off her order to me. She wanted an Italian sandwich, and she was also telling me about how much meat she wanted on it or something. She asked what breads were good, but she used a different wording. I told her we had white and wheat, but I really liked the Italian 5-grain. I don't remember which bread she got, but I got up and went behind the counter. I had no idea how to fill her order. Why had I even taken it?

One of the managers, a middle-aged man with dark hair and a dark beard, then came up to me. He seemed super fake-friendly to me. I told him I had worked there when the previous owners owned it, and it was like he didn't even hear what I said. He completely ignored me and started talking. He was talking slowly and looking away from me as he talked. We started to walk back to a back office. At some point, I met his wife who also owned the shop now.

We were then back out in the cafe', and I was sitting down at the same table again. The guy and his wife were both there now. I wondered if this was an interview, or if I already had the job; I couldn't remember. I also wondered if that woman had ever gotten her sandwich. She was still there at any rate. I imagined that she had probably complained. I then again told the guy that I had been there when the shop first opened, and I was there for four years. He said
"Oh really?" He really didn't seem that interested.
I then asked him what hours I would work, if I would open or close. He said I'd mainly be closing. I told him I didn't really like closing, but I preferred mornings. I then asked him what their operating hours were, and he said 7am-11pm. Ugh, closing that late? Really? Eff that.

I then was getting up to leave, and I had my doubts about them hiring me. They really didn't seem too interested in me, and I had made that comment about closing.

I was then walking somewhere in a back alley with Dallas. I was really pissed about the owners being such arrogant dicks.
"What a faggot!" I said very angrily as we walking. I threw something down on the ground. (IWL I don't ever use the word "faggot". It's interesting that I chose it here.)
"You'll just have to get another job," said Dallas. He handed me a paper restaurant cup of soda. I threw that on the ground, and it was very satisfying for some reason; it hit the ground just the right way and made just the right noise. I said again
"What a faggot!" I was really pissed.

I woke up from this dream kind of confused. I didn't open my eyes, but kept them closed as I thought about why I would quit my bakery job because I love it. I didn't want to work at the coffee shop again. After a little bit, I started to realize that I had been dreaming, and that wasn't really what was happening. I felt immensely relieved.

~

I was supposed to start work at that coffee shop, but for some reason, I had to get surgery on my lower back first. It had something to do with being inside this weird, cylindrical room with some big metal pole inside of it. It was some kind of mixer or something? I'm honestly not sure, but to operate it, I had to get something in my lower back fixed.

I was then in the cylindrical room, holding onto the metal pole. There was something on the bottom of the pole, some kind of platform or something, that I was standing on. It started to go up. I was quite close to the wall, and hoped that I didn't get squished or hurt.

I then decided not to get the surgery. Why bother? I didn't really want that job anyway. The airport called me and I cancelled my flight to Switzerland, which was apparently where I would have to get the surgery. I still wanted the meds though; they had already written me a prescription for three types of meds, one being a pain killer. Mk went to pick them up for me. She texted me something about them as she was doing so, asking me a question about them so she made sure she got the right things.

I then received a phone call. I looked at my phone, and it was from a country called "Nigiri". I knew that was where my connecting flight was supposed to be. I answered, and the guy on the other line had a very thick accent. He was trying to confirm my flight, which was boarding at that time, and I told him I had cancelled it. He had me hold on for a second, then he told me that it would be a $15 cancellation fee. I told him that I had cancelled the other flight earlier, and I had gotten no such fee. I don't think we said anything else.

I then was talking to Mk via text again. She was asking me which dog breed she should pick out. She gave me two options. I picked one, and then she came in with two dachsunds that were mixed with some other breed. I was playing with them and hugging them. They were so cute and fun!

I then was driving to the liquor store. It was a Sunday afternoon (liquor stores are closed here on Sundays IWL), and the parking lot was packed full. I had to drive around to the side to find a place to park. I figured it was the after-church crowd.

9.1.14

Last night bed late, around 11:30 - 4:45 Hurt like hell waking up that early.

Took a nap after work round 1pm.

DR:

So for some reason I'm summond at work and they tell me to sit in a chair. So I sit and wait while people come and go. One of the keys M is suppose to do it, but he goes to the back somewhere. He is in his black pants and white dress shirt.

I'm starting to think they will not have time to finish, coz I'm suppose to clock out in an hour and I know they have a few bags ready for me. The IV stand is right next to me. So I ask them about it and i call M and he calls a nurse or somebody and they finally start doing things like prepping my arm. Somebody is petting my head as in comforting me.

Hrm, not sure what this is about, but ok. In general, not a bad feeling from this dream. Rather to the contrary.