Recent DJ Posts

Finally, a vivid dream againxD and it was pretty long I thinkxD I had it two nights ago, so I can't explain everything in detail now, but I somehow know how...here I go!

I was on my way to school I think..or at least, a place where there were lots of people.
On this day, I was almost late, so I was in a hurry. I went on my bike.

Than I was with friends somehwere in the dream, and arrived on the place where I had to be. It was on a car road and there was this small guy (an anime character from an anime I really like..) called Otani, who was really teasing me hard.

I was so irritated and mad that I ripped out his heart out of his chest. That was so weird..Why did I do that? It felt really realistic as well..I throwed it away, and the guy (I usually like in the anime) was slowly dying. I had regret on taking his heart, so I wanted to safe him. Than there appeared this guy I now Always see in my thought during the day, who helped me to tell me how to safe him. He was super calm and kind to me, even though I did something that terrible..Anyway,

The heart was on the car road, and there were riding lots of cars. It was to be lucky to not let it be crushed by a car..When the heart was on safe zone because of the wind, it moved away from the cars, I could pick it up.

Than the kind guy explained to me to try to attach the heart to the blood vessels inside of him. I saw the hole where I ripped out his heart, I tried to put it in again. Explained to me, if I do it correctly, the heart would attach itself to the blood vessels. The heart was weird enough yellow, lol.

I did it correctly, and the Otani guy lived again. I was relieved, and the guy who helped me was proud of me, still as calm and misterious as ever. I sticked with him more since I really liked him somehow. He let me fell good and happyxD
The Otani guy also stayed with me and the guy and began to tease and pick on me again.. That was really stupid..but I couldn't get mad again, since I would rip out his heart again if I did. I tried to ignore him.

The unknown guy tried to get Otani's attention by giving him a gift to get him to not tease me again like that. I was really happy with that. I saw at that moment that the unknown guy had unknown money that was rather pretty. He told me it was money from other countries to where he had travelled. I was hypnotized by the money by it's prettiness. He saw how cool and awesome I thought it was and gave me some of it with the number ''8'' on it. Really, only with the 8 on it. I wondered what that meant..but anyway, I really was happy by the gift, I really felt happiness>.< I maybe have a little crush on him lololol.
He was happy that I was happy and had this really beautiful smile on his face. (wait a minute...Why did I not notice that this was a dream? I mean, money with number 8 on it doesn't exist...lol)

Than the scenery changed to it of a classroom. I sat on a chair and I was injured, the unknown guy was nowhere to be found this time. but I had my Lucky charms were enough for me for now, but anyway, I couldn't do much and Otani had to solve the problems on the chalk board for me. He totally didn't want to do that for me and throwed the chalk to my face.

Me and the teacher went mad and ran after him through the hallway of the school. It looked kinds funny on this part, but I woke up because of my mom at this point..I wish I could continue this dreamXD hahaha.

Well, what my question is...Who was the unknown guy? before this dream, he would appear suddenly in my mind, not smiling, but really calm and misterious. I don't know his name or anything about him, but he gives me this warm and happy feeling when I see him. I also can't erase him from my mind, he keeps coming. I never thought of a guy, he is just there and I wanna know more about himT_T I know his figure by his black hair (and an asian look lol, but yeah) and a striped sweater. (HE'S SUPER CUTE)
But yeah, he now appears in every dream of mine in another settingxD

Next dream entry is about a LD I had last time^_^ I hope you enjoy them!
Yukita

this dream was very real, and I have heavily attached emotions to this dream... I feel like I lived, and experienced it....

here it is,

It was a bright sunny day, and me and my boyfriend tristen, we're having car troubles. We were in a run down gas station with his car broke down and I even remember the theme colors on the gas staion. Blue and yellow. Tristen told me he was going to find some help, because no one at the gas station was to be seen. We were in a very rural area. Just one intersection and the gas staion was on the corner of it. Both roads didn't seem to of led anywhere. So he just went down the road he saw a house on. He walked to this house, it was maybe a quarter/half mile away. I waited at the gas station for about an hour... I was getting worried at this point and thought I should go find tristen. Not to mention I was alil scared and eerie* and I felt in danger. After about 20 minutes contimplating what to do or just hoping I'd see Tristen walking back. I made the decision to go to the house he was going to.

As I got closer to the house, I saw 8 people out on the front yard, it also had a very long driveway. There were 2 young kids. One little girl about age 6 (I assume) and her brother, which was about age 10. There were 5 grown men sitting on the picnic table in front of the house. The house was a very beaten up trailer. And then... there was "The Man".. this man was the 'leader' or, for better words, the father. He was the authority of that whole group of people. He had a medium sized lumber jack beard with a beaten up dirty T-shirt and highly intoxicated. I appoach the people and I already knew I wasn't going to leave. They all looked at me like a piece of meat. The kids stood back intimidated and worried. I approached The Man and said, "have you seen my boyfriend? Hes has blonde hair, blue eyes.. hes said he was going to come here for help? can I please use your phone to call a tow truck? We're stranded and I don't know where I am. Where am I?" He looks at me with a grin... a disgusting grin. "No," he replies. "You're not going anywhere." Angerly. Once he said that I felt my heart sink to my bum. All my bad feelings/intuitions were going to be right.. I took a step back, looking at him scared for my life. "It's okay little girl, sit down." He said. I slowly sit down. He asks me "So do you have a cell phone?". I did have my phone but the service wouldn't work. I could call 911 If I just got one bar. So I replied, "No.. but I should go look for my boyfriend he's been missing for over 2 hours."and he strikes back, violently standing up from the picnic table "I fucking told you, you little bitch, you aren't going anywhere. Just like your poor poor boyfriend hahaha." At this moment I KNEW I wouldn't be able to leave... I pissed him off... he now just told me what he's was trying to not tell me... that he had my boyfriend and he wasn't okay..I say "please! don't hurt him! please just let us go! we just wanted help! We didn't mean to disrupt you!! I didn't see anything I promise!" The Man replies snickering in immusment, " you really think I'd let you leave bitch." He puches me in the jaw and knocked me out..

now I've been knocked out before and I know what it feels like.. and in this dream I really felt like I was knocked out... it was so surreal.
Anyways, I wake up in this room that had actual car seats surrounding the walls of the room. I saw an old dog that looked like he was on his last leg (about to died soon). The walls looked like there was black mold on them. Black patches all over the walls. The smell is so vivid too, it smelt of dog urine and feces along with visual poop and pee stains. There was baby girl clothes strung out all over the dark green carpet. to my left behind me was a closet... I get up and start frantically searching for Tristen. I got to the closet and moved around so clothes on the floor and I see Tristen huddled up in this secret compartment joining the room next to this one. I tell him "it's okay baby! I'm here! We'll get out of this!! I have my phone!" Tristen looks up at me and says defeated "you shouldn't of came here... he's going to know you have your phone..." I look at him with shock, because he really didn't look happy or relieved to see me, not even in the slightest. He seemed defeated.

Not long after he had told me I "shouldn't of came here", I heard footsteps coming closer, and closer. I quickly went back to were I was last positioned before I woke up and proceeded to pretend like I was still knocked out. The Man walked into the room and said, "hey little girl," in a sweet tone, "get up, I know your awake." At this point I know he's smarter than me... like it was a plan almost... an unexpected plan, A fantasy coming true. So I rise up and he grabs my arms and starts shaking me and screaming things I couldn't understand, because I was so scared all I was thinking about was, I'm going to die here in this room. He let go of me and "collected" himself. Then he got really close to my face and said, "do you have a cell phone?" Tristen, right now, is now outside the closet and he must not be able to move very well cuz I saw him struggling to get up. He wanted him to stop. I replied to The Man, "no... " I look at Tristen and he nods to me, indicating he knows and to give it up.

The Man raises his eyebrow just starred at me like he was thinking of all the sick things he'd do to me... but also saw him getting more and more pissed. I tell The Man "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Here take it! Please just let us go!" The Man then replied "oohh.. you naughty little girl." In a sexual tone. The Man's face turned to sick and twisted and amused, to straight anger and resentment. I grabs my arm very tightly. I could almost feel my arm bruising. he drags me out to the front yard and in the mean time he ordered one of the men sitting at the picnic table to grab Tristen. The Man said very Angerly, "kids come now!!! Line up!!! We have a liar here!" He lines me and the two kids up side by side while my boyfriend watchs. He grabs a cigar cutter from the bare picnic table and proceeds to go down the line, forcing the kids to stick their finger in the cutter. He didn't cut their finger off.. seemed as if it was a scare tactic. He gets to me and he smiles with such satisfaction, and says "you know what we do to liars in this house?"... I reply, "...n-n-no.."* He grabs my ring finger and shoves it in the cigar cutter and says "well you will now." He cuts my finger off.

I swear to God I've never felt such pain before in my life. I held my nub of a finger and I tried covering up the wound. It was so so sooo surreal, my hand was shaking, and it looked so realistic. He then took us back to that same disgusting room. He threw me to the ground and I just remember shaking and my body's adrenaline, I was in panic. I look at Tristen I tell him, "we are getting out of this place tonight." There was 1 small window. We could fit through it if we tried.. everything was pretty quiet after that. The Night set in and I knew if i didn't do this correctly then I was going to get us killed. The window was nail shut. I though if I could just get those nails out, we could actually do this. I started to wiggle out a nail that wasnt in all the way and once I got it out I used it to take the other ones. Once all the nails were out, I look at tristen, nod, and he knew it was time. I very very verrryyyyy slowly lifted the window up. Less then centemeters at a time. Finally after about 20 minutes I got the window open.. I tell tristen to go first so I know that he is safe..

we made a plan to run as far as we could in the other direction of the house. Tristen makes it out of the window okay and I quickly followed. Everything seemed so real.. I could remember smells, touches, tastes, and vivid voices. We both made it out safe. All I remember is running and running and being so out of breath. then all the suddenly I woke up. Sweating, crying, heart racing* (like just ran a mile) and confused as to where I was.

Not Lucid, but pretty vivid.

Starts out with me and a friend jogging through a park late at night, and the path ends at a big hotel in the middle of a forest. There is a parking lot, but no one is here. We decided to go peek into the hotel windows. The outside "porch lights" are on, and there's a dim glow of a light behind the counter in the lobby. After I'm done peeking I turn around to find my friend has run away into the darkness of the night, and left me alone with a creepy Bell Hop. This guy has the strangest smile on his face, and tries to get me to go inside the hotel, but I'm trying to get away from him. And the moment he grabs my arm everything morphs into another scene...

Now I'm running through the hotel in my Dress White uniform (navy attire) after another guy in the same clothes. We both have guns of some kind, but I can't make them out. My target runs into a crowd of similar looking people, who are all acting like mindless drones, and the crowd enters into some big meeting room. As I try to tell someone that seems to be in charge that there's danger nearby I hear the cocking of a rifle, and a bang...

My target shot me, and now I'm dead. But I'm a ghost. 3 people can have contact with me: 2 guys that have tried to kill me, and the one that just did. Then I wake up.

I did not MILD last night or the night before as I was taking a break.

In conclusion, very vivid. I am surprised that I did not RC at any time during that. Especially at the end. Well, there's always tomorrow.

2/14/2016

I was at school talking to someone in the front office. I do not know what, but then I realise that I have to walk to college soon. It’s time to go. I tell them that I might be late and they chuckle. I start to walk out and on my way to college. While walking, someone from school catches up to me and their friend as well. We start to walk wherever we might go. Suddenly, I am not walking to school anymore, but somewhere else. I do not consciously realise this, but I am fine with it apparently. We are now in a wooded area with a road next to us. We are talking about random things. One of the people that I am walking with has a large shotgun. I am not worried because I trust him with it and he knows what he’s doing. I no longer realise that we are no longer on the way to our original destination. He was shooting random things with his gun, along with a bird that we walk by after he shot. We would have to hide the gun everytime that someone went by in a car. So we wouldn’t get caught. At one point I was ahold of the gun and there was a State Trooper ahead and I was worried that we’d get caught. We didn’t but it was close. Then, I realise that I need to turn around to get to college. I tell them and they are cool with it, they will no longer follow me as they are going somewhere unknown to me. I start to run as not to be late and I am now running towards this mass of interstates. I mean like 5, 6-lane interstates, huge. I am now running up this incline that is muddy and I realise that I have 3 knives in my hand. I throw them down farther in the ditch and I slip in the mud and end up with a lot of mud on my hands. I am at this point not thinking about going to college, but I know very unhappy and getting so dirty. There is a State Trooper, Crown Vic sitting there facing the other way as though they might catch someone speeding. I run by them and they ask if I need a ride. I walk up to the drivers door and open saying I don’t want to drive. They ask if I want to drive, but I say no as I might crash it. There are 3 women in the car, all State Troopers. They seem nice and, of course, they are state troopers so they are safe. There is no real exchange as to where I need to go but they start to drive in the opposite direction of traffic. Then, dreamlike magically, the flow of traffic changes so we don’t die. No one is talking accept the driver of the Crown Vic. They are watching traffic for lawbreakers and troublemakers. I was thinking that it would be really cool to be in some form of a chase, and soon enough, there is someone in a small transporting truck that is speeding and driving erratically. The trooper notices it and starts to chase. We weave through traffic as the truck driver realises that he was caught. He speeds astronomically up and gets away from us for a while. We enter a tunnel of some sort and the driver does not seem worried. They know what to do and are calm. We wait for the truck driver to come back out the way, which he does. We chase him back out of the tunnel, now he comes back and we manage to get him. The driver or the other two troopers have not called for backup. So we are alone on this interstate in this dimly lit tunnel with a crazy driver and many people walking around and other cars. It seems as though there is a mall here. We don’t want to hit someone. The driver has now crashed and the driver of our car is out of the car shouting orders at the truck driver. He complies. Then, all of the sudden, he starts to get beaten to a pulp by my driver. Except that my driver is still a good 50 feet away from the truck driver. I am displeased by this and know that it’s not real (RC right now DAMNIT) but I see this guy get killed right there. The job is done. Everyone returns to normal. It ends.

No LD’s tonight.

MILD day 2

Did my mantra before going to bed, was much better at not drifting thoughts.
Woke up and usual 2:00 AM remembered a dream. Went back to sleep trying to repeat the mantra.
Woke up an hour later and remembered part of a dream.
Alarm and morning routine.

In conclusion, dream recall became better, should have written down dreams right after waking and attempted to WILD. If I did not remember them, I would FILD.

2/10/2016

I was at school, or that I could see from outside. I was running to a tractor-trailer that was your generic black tractor and white trailer with no corporate markings. It was daytime and it was raining lightly, why I was running to the truck. Next I am in the truck and the dream suddenly transitions to me in a garden of some sort that is in New York city. I am standing there amidst this garden where I do not know where exactly I am. There are apparently chickens around me. Apparently I pissed one of and it starts to go after me, flying and pecking at me. I try to shoo it away so I don’t hurt it, but it keeps coming at me. Then it goes for my ears, that’s the last straw for me and I grab the chicken by the neck and chuck it as far as I could, I run into a garage that has some sort of an SUV and I pull out of there as fast as possible so I don’t get attacked by the chicken anymore. It ends.

I am sitting in my school’s lunchroom and we are having some sort of a special lunch. All that I can remember is that there were tater tots. We eat the lunch, (nothing happens) and then we are clearing the lunch. All of a sudden there are hundreds of tennis balls that start to bounce all over the room. The lunch manager is not looking happy at this point and tries to collect the balls. Then I walk to the science room where there are many people and I walk up to a friend and show him something on the computer, recent tabs for some reason. He says my life could be ruined and walks away. I wonder at that point. Then the recent tabs change to Java programming and my counselor is there and he seems all amazed by what he sees and attempts to write some code on the whiteboard, which does not work very well, I chuckle. It ends.

No LD’s tonight.

Last dream from my Awoken Dream Journal today

What's interesting about this particular one was me stumbling across a post here about having recurring dream characters and how he/she made them. I instantly wanted to do this for two reasons: to help with lucidity, and to have a companion alongside my adventures whenever I start becoming lucid in most of my dreams. So I wrote vivid details down on what I want the character to look like. I remember before going to sleep, I meditated for 30 minutes and started thinking of the character I wish to start seeing often. So normal routine, sleep, wake up in middle of the night and head back to sleep, and this is what happen, straight out of the awoken dream journal.

First Dream: A odd dream that started with these girls trying to evolve to better versions of themselves. It mostly took place in my house. Can't really remember much else, just toward the end of me and my mom getting cheesecakes, and this girl messed up so me and Squall had to fix it. A lot of people were mad at her, But I helped to make things right.

Woke up at this point, drunk water, and went back to sleep.

Second dream: A dream of meeting this girl named Aelita Power. She was a red orange haired girl who looked like a 3DCG anime character, but in real life. I walked up to her and she gave me a calm smile. She seemed to had been reading a book whilist sitting on a rock. We were in a very thick forest with large trees as far as I can see. She introduced herself keeping a nice smile and I did the same. I soon noticed her sword on her back and asked about it.

"I am a human, demon hybrid, it's essential for me to have it."

That reply kind of surprised me at first, but she then said to sit next to her and not to be afraid. So I did. She kept reading and I took her all in. Even though she looked like a CGI anime character, she looked stunning and realistic. Her skin looked pale but very soft, Her eyes were black as coal but seemed to have fit her. Her hoodie was white with black digital camo vinyl, like a military painting. Jet black paints and white, orange shoes like low top converses. She also had a white scarf that wrapped around her neck blowing south along with the wind. it covered her mouth which looked cute for some reason. I noticed her hands had Theta symbols that were Cyan in color and a red amulet that appeared to look important. She closed the book and sat it on her lap.

"you like it?" holding the amulet.

I didn't think she noticed.

"It used to be my mother's, but she gave it to me on her birthday."

She didn't seemed to be bothered by my presence so at least she is social, she looks like a fierce girl but seems soft spoken and really nice. Her voice kind of reminded me of Ruby Rose from RWBY. The more I looked, the more she seemed to look like Ruby, just a different appearance. We seemed to talk about many different things such as philosophy and just different subjects in general. it seemed like hours.

"Hey, would you mind if I kept seeing you?"

I couldn't think when she said that, but I just looked at her warm smile, and I became warm inside. soon afterwards I woke up. (HOW THE HELL DID I NOT BECOME LUCID..*sigh* oh well)

-----------------------------------------

So, this dream was very very Vivid, unlike the first, so I was able to remember a lot of details, some eluded me of course. But this dream was eye-opening because she looked exactly like what I wrote down in my notebook (besides looking like Ruby, but I'm fine with that). It was a wonderful experience even though we just talked. and her last response seemed to just hit home.

This dream happened on Nov. 7 so it was a while back. so far I only caught a glimpse of her once in a short dream, but nothing yet. But for a DC to say that she wants to see me again kind of shocked way more than it should because I didn't really write personalities for her or anything, just a visual concept, but she seemed to think and had a great personality, almost like a independent being. So it was nice to see that and anxious to see her again.

Well that's my interesting dream. Non-Lucid, which I have no idea I wasn't Lucid but great nonetheless

Although it is currently a barren dream time for me (lucid or otherwise) I take comfort that it's less than a month since I had a LD (albeit a short one) I duck and dive my way through my dream attempts (a little bit of this, a try at that) and my naturally paranoid nature hints that I often seem to be blocked at every turn...almost as of some outside force is either toying with me or hinting that dream attempts will harm my health.

I remember a comment by Terence McKenna that his ego screamed that he was dying when he started a new psilocybin trip because it would strip away his humanity and that ran entirely counter to its natural function...that kind of feeling maybe. I toyed with DEILD last week and programmed to wake up much earlier to the dreams-end and got hints of the old “ill feeling” that so distracts from dream-recall and re-entry...and that feeling of dread soon disperses once its job is perhaps done, so is that maybe not real?

I'm doggedly working my way through Ratey's brian book. I've jumped forward...as is my way...to a section about dreams and how the 40hz oscillation ramps back up when REM sleep starts. I determined to WBTB last night and had headphones and a Youtube vid primed to see what happens...and slept right through the night, without waking, till 08.30 (a very very rare event) See what I mean? Mr paranoid.

I'm interested in DMT, psilocybins etc and maybe their effect (even in small doses) on dreams. With my new-found respect for our frantically hard-working neurons I've started thanking them for any dream crumbs they see fit to throw from the table. (that's not my mad idea...I read it here first) Last night I told them I'm up for dash of pineal activity to maybe pep-up my dreams and any cooperation in this matter would be much appreciated. Hey! I'm as sane as the next man! (and the way this World's going that's not much of a recommendation.)

Against the current grain I woke an hour after I went to bed (with just a hint of a dream) then an hour later with a (what is lately) a rare clear and vivid dream fresh in my mind...so much so that I determined to get up specially to write this out.

I'm being pursued by a doggedly-determined but apparently loving female vampire through a neighbourhood (most of my dreams normally not even vaguely menacing) I duck and dive everywhere and I'm looking around for a weapon of sorts. I don't seem to be terrified...just a bit anxious (as you would) and I'm as determined to escape as she seems to be to drink my blood. Come back dear, it won't hurt...much...that sort of thing.

I'm moving towards what I take to be maybe a 19th century hostelry and I can see the landlord? looking-out at me. I get a clear feeling that he's about to close the frontage of his premises (as if he's encountered this before and doesn't want to get involved) Then I wake up. Phew.

I now realise that I didn't feel ill and maybe should have tried for a DEILD lucid but a combination of my surprise at this (nowadays) rare event...and perhaps my understandable reluctance to go back into that scenario thank you very much, I just got up to pen this

So...encouraging. Ever onwards (I must stop saying that) I'll keep reading, experimenting, flitting from one thing to another and reporting back every small victory.

I was at home when I got visit from friend whom I know from elementary school. We had spoken about something. I was glad he was visiting me, it is quite long we have seen each other. Then he asked me to visit him at his home and I felt that I should go. So we went there. The surrounding, the nature was very nice, clean... with clean fancy colours. I was able to see cleanly every branch, every leaf on trees... every leaf of grass. Very sharply.
The road got worse and worse. Its edges were crumbling... I traveled in the center of the road, going around patches of holes in it with skill. The road started to be excavated on the edges and the holes started to be deeper. The excavated edges were meters deep. I saw every stone there... every grain of sand, everything clean and sparkling. And the drivable road got narrower and narrower. I saw as the edges were crumbling and falling off when I drove too close to them but there was no possibility to make it different. There was no more possibility to take another road. There was no possibility to go back- the road was crumbling down slowly behind me.
I managed to get to the house of my friend. He was waiting there for me. I went up the slope following him to his house. I saw other close friend of mine. She was standing there on the path side and me when she saw me, she turned her back to me as if she didn't see me... to ignore me. I smiled sadly... And went around her and away wordlessly. She was looking at my back as I was going further away... It looked like she couldn't go away from that place. She was forced somehow to go after us. She looked at us, while I was speaking with other friend... and I was using words with two meanings, whole double meaning sentences... she understood what I was trying to say to her even if she tried to ignore me.
We were alone at the end, she and I. She didn't try to ignore me anymore. I didn't speak anymore. There was no need. There was understanding between us, flow of thoughts, feelings and memories. Two distinct us with shared awareness.

remarks
- it was very vivid dream. Everything was pictured very sharply in it.
- roads were crumbling, only tight way remained before me- I wonder...
- that mind sharing was very spiritual, it is long time here since I felt something like this.

June 28, 2015

I did SSILD before this dream which may have made it a little bit more vivid, but I don't think that was the reason I got lucid. It might've raised my awareness to figure out I was dreaming, but I don't think that mattered because I was basically told I was dreaming by the dream. I had like an hour of insomnia after doing SSILD for some reason (usually I fall right asleep with SSILD) but I still got the lucid!

I am inside a video game that I'm playing with some friends. Apparently we are playing Boom Beach and we are all working together to take down a bunch of bases. I was using a mix of Bazooka girls and the big machine gunners (I had tried using those IWL when I used to play and they never really worked out that great).

"Wow, I never knew that these troops were so good!", I said to a dude next to me as I was directing my troops.

I saw from above 3d images of our troops just flooding into different tiny bases. I had the thought that if I wasn't working with other people I wouldn't have near as many troops so I probably wouldn't do good at all. I made my way to the back of the room where a tiny analog clock was. There was a giant digital orange wall and on it there was a video chat up with 4 blue digital boxes and people's faces in the (I can't find a picture of it but I remember it from some video games that I've played). One person who didn't look real (maybe anime?) said something about how dreams and this video game connected. something like, "It's a good thing that we are all dreaming so we can play this game together." Immediately I searched my mind for what that means.

"I can't be in a dream." I thought.

However, I was getting suspicious enough now that I did a nose RC and could breath, but when I did it a second time to make sure my air got blocked halfway. I then decided I better check my hands and on my left I had nine fingers and I'm not sure how many were on my right hand. I stayed calm and actually remembered to stabilize! I rubbed my hands together and felt the friction. Then I brought it up to my face and looked at it. It seemed to be the most vivid I have seen them in any dream so far, and they also had a slight glow to them it seemed because they were a little bright. I touched the wall and could feel the little bumps in it. I proceed into my parent's room as I was right next to it and I wanted to go outside. I was about to open the window when I stopped. I probably got this idea from a podcast I listened to from Sensei the day before on teleportation. I wanted to go to the beach so I imagined I was actually at a resort and the beach was right outside. Immediately the color coming through the window curtain changed from normal light to a light blue. I realized I succeeded because light blue was the color of the ocean (Going to the beach was not a dream goal currently. It used to be when I first started, but it's not high on my to-do list now. I think I decided to go because in my MILD I imagined I was at a beach and I flew from there). I then open up the window and step out onto the roof of my house. I take in my surrounding and I see a tall lifeguard tower with an attractive female lifeguard on top of it looking out. She has her back turned to me and she was bent over, so I didn't really take in many other things around me I keep looking at her and notice her skin changes from tan to black and then back to tan. At this time I also feel the dream destabilizing so I yell,

"Stabilize!" and then, "Clear!"

I feel the dream become stable again which gives me some relief as I do not want this dream to end prematurely. I then have an urge to have *cough* with the lifeguard. It's a high enough level LD that I realize that this would be mad for my lucidity and I try to fight it. My fight is to weak though, so I look for an escape. I look towards the beach and it is now just a narrow sandy driveway with a square tiny pond at the end that looked a little deeper than a puddle. I rationalize that since the beach looks so boring now I might as well spend some time with the lifeguard. She started walking over to me and unbuttons her top. Underneath I see a green and purple poke-a-dot bikini. Her face changes and I see now she is actually Kim Kardashian. I don't want to do it out here though so I look for another place. Inside the lifeguard tower there is a bed so I want to go there. She just keeps on coming to me though and t seems she just wants to get it done out here. I give in because now I feel the dream is about to fall apart so I don't have much time left. I need to do it as fast as possible. She gets over to me and I grab her to bring her down next to me and as she gets right next to me I wake up.

After waking I wished I would've went into the pond to see what was down there. My dream might've created an entire underground world that I could've explored and the dream would've probably lasted longer. I need to learn to control my urges better in dreams, but I'm assuming that will come when I'm getting more lucids and experience. I didn't remember to fly in this dream or else I could have jumped off the roof to get away from the girl too. This was a very fun and vivid dream and it seemed like it lasted a good length of time...so I'm OK with the result!

Also, I notice that LD's #18 and 19 aren't posted in this DJ. I looked back in my workbook and I got those right around the time that I took my long break, and I don't think I ever wrote them down and if I did I wouldn't know where to look. I do remember a tiny fragment of one but it's not worth it to type out I don't think. I do wish I would have recorded them, so that kinda sucks.

I was at Busch Gardens and I walked up to this strange door and opened it. inside was some STAIRS- leading to an ELEVATOR- (dream signs) I went in and saw a dead guy with a trash bag on him. So I took the elevator to the - floor and noticed that there was NO GOING BACK. First I heard many voices calling my name. It freaked me out. Next thing I know a guy with a ski mask jumps out and scared me to death! I started backing up and bumped into a guy with a white mask! I started running and found some more stairs, opened a door, and found a couch. I went to sit down and then I heard the voices again! I observed the room trying to look for them. I heard the voices again and turned around and saw everybody involved. I felt so mad and relieved at the same time! I noticed myself turning into a fat old guy at this time. Amazing how vivid Nightmares are isn't it?

Date:12th of june.
Total sleep:10 hours.
Supplements: B6 and melatonin.
Daytime Techniques:RC's, mantras, sensory awareness training.
Lucid Techniques:was not lucid.
Recall Techniques: Mantras, dream journal.
Fell Asleep:12.00
Dream Title: sex scandal at the supermarket.
Dream: I only remember bits of the dream, some of it being: Having sex with someone named Suzie? (wtf) Outside of a supermarket. And finging she posted pictures of my penis on the internet to get back at me, for what, i cant remember. Also being by a trailer at the highway, before eventually swimming out to raft in the ocean with my little sister. After we arrive at small raft, we spot a bigger one, and swim out (my little sister clinging to me). When we reach the raft i see a familiar face, Hannah. My memory stops there.
Awake:08.00
Vividness:9
Awareness:2
Length:8
Recall: 2
Emotions/feelings: happines, shame, aroused.
Dream Signs: common DC's (Trym, familiy)
Objects/places/DC's: Supermarket, highway, ocean, trailer, raft, people, alcohol, Trym, George Clooney, Suzie, Hannah, Mia, Video.

Dream fragments: Have a faint memory of a ''beauty and the best'' kinda scene.

Two days ago, I was reading about SSILD and I thought I'd give it a go as soon as I could, and this time was today. This morning I woke up after exactly five hours of sleep, so it was the perfect time. I did a WBTB and read about SSILD during this time. Then, I went back to bed and put the technique into practice until I fell asleep.

In the first dream, I was flying. It was a game, like I was playing in a fake reality, so to speak. In said game I was a heroine and I had to solve whatever issue I came across. So well, I was flying around when I heard an explosion quite far away from where I was. I decided to go towards the explosion, flying over the road, and I could see at least 20 police cars, with their blue lights on. The dream was more detailed than that, but I spent more time writing what comes next.

Then, I opened my eyes and I was in my room. I thought "quite an interesting dream I've just had". I got up to pick something up from my desk (I can't quite recall what) and I noticed I couldn't open my eyes properly. I thought I may still just be half asleep. I made a noise and I heard my sister, we share a room. I couldn't make out what she said. Then, I went to bed again and at that moment I realised "why can't I open my eyes? Could this be a false awakening after the SSILD?". I pinched my nose and, sure enough, I could breathe through it. I didn't do this first RC properly, I must say, I just did it very quickly after the realisation. I got out of bed and thought a couple of times: "clarity now!", to see if my eyes would open. The reason why I just thought of it and not say it out loud is because somehow I feared my sister would hear me and think I'm weird. I mean, I was aware, but I couldn't believe I was in a dream. Anyway. I then ran out of the bedroom and up some stairs, thinking maybe the running would open my eyes. While I was running up the stairs I thought I'd be a good idea to do another proper RC, just to be sure. I looked at my left hand and it had six fingers, and my palm was larger than normal. For some reason this scared me and I let out a scream, but I stopped myself from getting too excited. Then, I did the nose pinch again with the same results, so I was entirely sure I was in a dream.

The stairs led me to the roof of the house. Just as I stepped outside, my eyes opened and I could see the surroundings with detail. The view was the same as the one we get from our real roof. I could see the neighbours' gardens and the church tower. It was cloudy and the sky was a faint yellow. At that point it struck me (I don't really know why) that I could not control the dream. Say, if I wanted to change the sky and clear it of clouds, I wouldn't be able to. But I didn't care. I was too busy admiring the detail of the view. Then, I felt a really strong curiosity to know what the chalk wall would look like close-up. So, I went very near a wall and looked at it closely. I stared at it for some seconds and I was overwhelmed by the vividness of the dream. I had read that some dreams could feel very real, but I didn't know it could look that real. At that point I thought from now on I'll see ADA, RCs and all that in a different way. Finally, I reached out my hand to touch the wall, I wanted to know if it was so real at the touch as well, and at the moment I touched it, I opened my eyes and I was on my bed again. My body felt heavy and somehow I knew I was awake for real, but I pinched my nose again just to make sure. Then I got my phone and started writing.

One dream I remember, I was hiding in a shady motel while being chased by criminals. I realized I was dreaming, and decided it would be fun to change gender to fool my foes. My form changed from the male I am into a very sly woman with long black beautiful hair, and a subtle complex darkness to her, like she had a mysterious history. It was very interesting, I put a hoody on and went out into the rainy afternoon. I felt the world looking at me as a female, and I looked back as one too. It felt completely different and alien to how feeling male feels, like I not only changed in appearance but also mind state, kind of like I felt completely female as I walked down the street. I got some complements on my long black hair, and felt like I was blushing from the males giving me the complements, thing is in real life I have no desires to be female or would blush from guys giving my hair complements I wonder how my mind nailed so perfectly the identity of a "mysterious" woman it was uncanny and completely natural during that dream.

Journal Entry Lucid #9 Dream,Lucid, Comments)
Background: I woke up around 2:00 Am, which was about 5-6 hrs after I went to sleep. I stayed up and I watched some inspirational videos about success and possibility. Then I read Stephan LaBerge's book, I left the computer about 1:20 min later. I went to kitchen to make me some food because I felt hungry, made myself some oatmeal. I don't think the food matters though. I went to my room at around 3:38 am. I listened to Robert Monroe's intro to focus 10. I stayed up for nearly 100% of it. If I did lose consciousness for a second but when I did I regain it by willpower. After doing all the exercises around the end, he mentioned that I have the power to remember anything that I wanted to by touching my head with the tip of my hand and telling myself to remember, so I told myself to remember LD. (*I believed what he said to near 100% certainty but if it failed it was because I touched my head with my hand and I don't know if that is what he meant or if he wanted me to imagine). After 30 min of the audio, I turned over and found a comfortable position to go to sleep. As I was getting sleepy I reminded myself to realize that I am dreaming. I said those famous phrase, "next time I'm dreaming I will realize that I am dreaming". I said this repeatedly and I fell asleep sometime soon. I also heard my moms voice which influenced my dream tremendously.

Dream fragment 1 from 8:20pm-2:30am"":I found myself watching my gaming avatar on YouTube. It looked and felt real but at same time surreal. I got tired of watching the car chase, so I got up out of the computer and went to the living room. I hugged my grandmother and father because I thought I didn't see them in a while. I asked them where my mother was. They didn't want to respond for some reason. I thought I know I heard her voice. I asked, "is she sleeping? did she just sleep right now? I haven't seen her all day." My dad looked at me mad, and said don't disturb her. It was early in the night around 9:00pm. Me and my father were outside in the backyard. My mother walks out and started telling us her interesting dream.

She said, "I saw my own brain, literally! I turned over in the dream and saw my brain". I thought that sounds like O.B.E. I told her what if that wasn't a dream and that was real? As we were going back inside the house, my dad said she needs a way to go back to sleep. I don't know what I said, but my father responded angrily, "pssh dream! Dream is nothing". I told myself in the dream I am the only one that walks this path, I am only doing this for myself. I was in the computer room and my mother brought some tea and she asked me which one will make her go to sleep. I said, "I thought you are going to work isn't it early in the morning". I thought this doesn't make any sense why am I doing this looking at the tea bags in my hand. My mother disappeared. I said I better not be dreaming about something this boring. I looked at the time on my computer screen it read at first "9:40 AM.B" then a second glance "9:49 Am" then again "9:50 Am". It was also hard to focus on the numbers. I thought about the time "am" but it was still pitch dark outside.

I realized I was dreaming. I started rubbing my hands right away. I started becoming very excited because it was such a consistent, realistic and not to mention ordinary dream, but I logically became lucid. I tried to spin around to stabilize my dream. The spinning made me very nauseous. It felt like I was shrinking at the same time. It felt harder to breath as well. It felt so horrible that I decided to wake up. As soon as I decided to do that I woke up, with the last thing I saw my grandmothers' bed. I did a RC after awakening and about to write my LD.

Date: 10 Sept

Pre bed: 200 mg valerian

WBTB: 1/2 cappuccino

Dream quality and recall: very deep sleep, vivid but almost zero recall

TST: 7 hrs

Fragment: I didn't write down, something to do with Malaysia

Early mini-ld (+4 hrs): I am in some crazy deep sleep and see the thought of a boy band, very similar to Take That (maybe a video, or a picture in front of me). The moment I see this vision or whatever about them, with extreme speed one of the singers appears in the room in front of me, he is about 5 foot tall and the whole scene is mega bright and vivid. He is also wearing bright yellow clothes. This happens so fast, it jolts me into lucidity. I ignore him and rush to the balcony but feel the whole dream is very crazy - way too weird and dynamically changing. I can feel some strange and interesting dream stuff about to unwind in front of me as I am contemplating my actions on the balcony. I think it is too much for me to handle, so I wake myself up.

Contemplations: I know this dream isn't that unusual but the feeling of it bothered me. It wasn't a bad, negative one, there was even a touch of euphoria but I felt the dream was like a huge wave of energy about to produce extraordinary or distracting events that I wasn't mentally prepared to deal with. That's what happens when you take valerian and have early lds.

WBTB: coffee (26 mg caffeine) and mantras but zero recall after that