All DJ Entries

My favourite part was when I had a GTR, and it was parked down the street. I looked down at my hands and realized that I was holding a wireless Xbox 360 steering wheel. I used it to drive the GTR around and I though it was super weird but I didn't RC. Then I started doing this thing where I lay on the pavement in front of the car while it was driving and for some reason I was smoothly sliding down the road in front of the car relaxing. The cops drove by and pulled a U turn to take me down for illegally sliding on the road (ha!) so I slid right under an oncoming car and lay on the ground in a police uniform. The car stopped and so did the police, and when I got up they said "Well done officer" and arrested the oncoming car. I began walking away and at my house I ran into a billionaire chinese kid. I started asking him about the difference between here and china and he was very awkwardly responding. I followed him into an elevator, which led us onto a canoe.

I was suddenly in a place from a dream that comes from my childhood. It was a beautiful wooded lake, and rising about 100 feet off the water was a levitating house of glass and steel. It was a long house, and from the front door extended a glass tunnel that traveled over the river leaving the lake, and disappeared around the bend. I knew that walkway would continue for miles through the forest, calmly hovering in the sky and looking so beautiful against such untouched landscape. We passed the house in the canoe and arrived at our destination. The place was a gathering of young people just hanging out I guess. We all had dogs, but for some reason I brought a tiger. There was a really vicous shiba inu that would hang out with it on the patio as it was unafraid of the tiger. We all left the dogs and headed out to this place with amazing waves in a small fleet of boats, and I continued to interrogate the kid. He didn't drive cars or anything else you'd expect of a billionaire baby so I slowly stopped talking to him. On the ride back I remember having to violently steer the boat as there were massive waves and extremely shallow patches all around, and we kept sliding over areas of rocky shore. We managed to make it back, but as we arrived the Shiba started antagonising the tiger, who promptly fucked him up and ate him whole. I had to go in and tell my friend that my tiger ate his dog, and after he flipped out I woke up.

Had a nightmare again. This time I was in an old house, victorian with old style lamps. Cold and creepy.
The lights went off and I was left alone, my daughter went out.
I could make out stairsdown in the half light but didnt want to go down as I knew there was a big ol monster down there.
So I sat and are cakes, even though they were making me feel sick, to take my mind off the fear.

[comment]
When i'm depressed I over eat. So that figures.

Bedtime: 11:00 pm
WBTB: 3:30 am
Technique: mantra (Is this a dream?), counting
Notes: This dream occurred between 7 and 7:30 am, after multiple wake-ups throughout the morning

I am working at Blumac's (a bar I worked at years ago). I committed to one night just for fun, but I realize the owner put me back on the schedule 4-5 days a week. I am worried I can't handle that kind of schedule anymore since I'm out of shape, and really might be too old for this now. I greet Michelle in the dressing room and realize she is older than me and looks amazing, so maybe I can do this for a little while to earn some extra money. I decide to stay, but I don't want to work Friday or Saturday nights, or double shifts. I ask one of the other girls if she would like my Friday shift and she agrees.

I return for my second shift. I overhear the other girls talking about money, and realize that I handled my tips incorrectly the night before. I put my money in my makeup bag instead of giving it to the DJ, so I didn't pay the DJ or bouncer last night. I feel bad. I start digging through my bag to count my money and notice there is a lot more than I thought. Suddenly I realize in horror that I am looking through the wrong bag. I feel horribly embarrassed and worry that someone might think I'm trying to rob her. Thankfully no one sees me, so I sit down to relax again and sort through my clothes. I contemplate getting a trunk for my clothes again instead of dealing with this messy gym bag.

I suddenly remember to look at the RC tattoo on my arm. I fully expect to see the word "Dream" written there, but when I look I see only a P and another partial letter. I stare at it, dumbfounded for a minute, then become fully lucid. I stand up, excited, and look around the room to see how stable the dream is. Everything is solid, and I move easily. I realize this is the highest level of lucidity I've had in over a year! I decide to glide instead of walk. I glide easily across the room and out the door. As I enter the next room, I notice things are hazy, like I am not wearing my contacts. I decide to keep moving, hoping things will clear up because I'm concerned about waking myself if I try to adjust the light. I decide to go outside, hoping the light will clear up naturally out there. I see a door to the patio and decide to walk right through the solid wood. It works! The dream is much clearer outside. The sky is blue and the weather is pleasant. I see a large brown dog across the yard. When it sees me it gets up and runs my direction. It appears to be very friendly and curious. I notice there is something odd about it's jaw, so I try to look closer.....then BEEEEEP! Damn alarm work me up!

I had this series of dreams after waking up early and going back to sleep, which is typical for my previous lucid dreams. I was familiar with some of the features of these dreams: a realistic environment not usually drawn from real life, realistic dream characters who are part of the scenery instead of the plot (and sometimes ignore me), and dream chaining.

I can't quite remember the beginning. Before I went to sleep, I recall deliberately daydreaming to occupy my mind, so it might have developed out of that. At some point I found that I could have WILDs really easily. All I needed to do was let my mind wander, I'd soon see some realistic imagery (or once, a geometric pattern), and at some point, rather than getting caught up in the dream's plot, I'd just go 'yep, this is a dream'. I was able to improve the quality by shouting 'increase lucidity' and so on. The dream chain included:

- One where I found myself in a large building with a vague 'institutional' feel, having corridors and a reception desk. Most of the dream characters seemed to ignore me, even after I did the "You're all in my dream, what do you think of that!?" thing, which I sort of felt like I wasn't supposed to do. I found an old lady who did respond to me and asked her something, but I don't remember what she said.

- A non-lucid false awakening in which a kid climbed through my window, much to my anger, causing me to go and get a sort of spatula in case I needed to repel the intruder.

- One where I found myself in a garden or courtyard surrounded by three-storey Edwardian architecture. There was a small, cubical brick building similar to a power substation. I decided to test my dream control abilities. Simply by telling the dream that my hands were sticky like a gecko's, I climbed up the brick wall and stood at the top. I then marvelled at the feat and pondered what to attempt next; I didn't want to try anything that might disrupt the dream. I considered trying to turn into an animal but rejected it, for example.

- Misc.: I also recall some SP-like sensations of shouting but having no voice coming out, being unable to feel myself breathing, or having a dry throat but being unable to clear it. I recall trying to shoot 'energy balls' out of my hands by sheer willpower and failing. I recall looking at my bedroom despite knowing my eyes were closed and sagely recognising it as a false awakening. I recall the realistic sensation of having an orgasm after doing nothing more than passingly thinking about it. I recall the sensation of partially separating from my body by sitting up in bed but failing to fully do so.

I don't know if the chain started with a real lucid dream, and I definitely caught onto one or two bits of false awakening imagery while still asleep, but as soon as I woke up in real life I realised that my supposed 'really easy WILDs' were actually all from a false awakening. I'd been dreaming about lucid dreaming the whole time.

Bedtime:
10:30pm
WBTB:
3:00am
Wakeup:
8:00am

Went to bed and didn't dream much until maybe 2:00am (I remember looking at the clock before this dream).

Dream 1
This was a FA. I "woke up" in my bed, and there was a thunder storm going on. The storm sounded really close because the thunder had that crackling sound. I got up and walked into the hallway of the apartment, and I could hear someone tap-dancing downstairs. I remember thinking "who would be tap-dancing at 2 in the morning?" If only I had done a RC!! I walked halfway through the hall and closed a door that doesn't exist IRL, and continued down the rest of the hallway. I used the bathroom, then went into the sunroom when I was finished. When I got into the sunroom, I realized that the lighting had changed, it wasn't dark anymore. The storm was still going on, but it looked like it could be afternoon. Also, the room was on the 1st floor, with very tall windows, and when I looked at where my piano should be, there was a different piano. I thought to myself "omg, am I in someone else's apartment by mistake? how did that happen?" then I woke up. I think I was on the verge of becoming lucid, because I was really questioning things, but not enough to do a RC

my WBTB alarm went off, and I attempted yet again to do a WILD, but still no luck. I even tried some visualizations, and also put headphones in and used some binaural beats.. Didn't do any good, I was just lying awake in bed. So eventually I decided to just go to sleep, because I knew I would be having my longer REM periods anyways, so I could just hope for the best and maybe I could get away with a DILD.

Dream 2
This is mostly just a fragment. It was along dream, but I don't remember much of the details. From what I remember, I was in a large building, I think it was a college of some kind. I think I was in classes, but in between I would go into this big open room, and in the middle of the room was a pit, and a piano was suspended above the pit. I would come into this room and play in between classes, but the piano was hard to reach and every time I would start playing I felt like I was going to fall into the pit. Not a very convenient set up.
Toward the end of the dream, my grandma and mom were waiting for someone in the hallway, and I went out there to talk to them. They were talking about the time when either Paul Simon or Paul McCartney recorded an album in Prague (obviously just a dream memory, not a real one). They were looking at a map, and Prague was like, in Northern China. "Wow!" they were saying, "that really in the middle of nowhere!"
I started to say goodbye to my grandma, and I asked her when I could come visit her. She said something about how my aunt was allowing us to have a horse race, so I should just come then. It didn't make sense to me but I just nodded and left.

+ swarms of snakes in (hotel) room on bed, leave room, re-enter, look for them, find them in bundles in the corners of the room and under desks, one bites me

+ submerged in the "murky", small pool, get out, open up the cover. Doesn't seem all that murky to me.

+ S2 with super weird eyes, go down stairs, kids (S1) in bed with (my parents?), I hide under sheet beyond foot of bed and someone (wife?) walks by me and stumbles over me

+ girl in bathroom short haired blonde says something (in German?) to me, I say "what!?" but she leaves I'm lying horizontally across multiple sinks and shampooing my very long hair. Get up, dry my privates beneath towel, to go to sauna and girl gets in front of me into sauna area but it's under construction, I'm confused about where I am and where things are that should be here

7-8 hrs waking
BTS


+ S2 can't find lego, in the room with the super loud A/C, it must be here, there are large brick-sized pieces of colorful lego and I tell him he should use those to build with, he wants to find the "swamp-colored" sheet/poncho where there were big boxes of legos find the switch in the wall to turn off A/C, it's a rough hole in the drywall. I tell someone else about the swamp/camo-colored poncho later.

+ outside with French teens near bus, run to building, fly to 2nd floor balcony I'm racing against an opponent to the 2nd floor I'll surely win, but aim low and have trouble pulling up to the balcony he wins, I'm inside and invent a flying game with ball fly towards floor really see it and play around. Later I see a hand puppet with adult writing on it and coloring on it and try to read it and the mother who wrote it comes by

Outside on the street, a large truck comes by and all the kids race towards it, I try to scream "get back!" but can't speak, I motion with my arms not to get too close but they swarm the back of the truck as it approaches the sidewalk from the yard backwards.

Someone runs for an athletic move up over the back of someone else out on the street. Inside the room, I say to others, "can you imagine what would happen if you tried going over the back on the president of the US?" I imagine you'd be swarmed by secret service agents. Then Obama is there doing something goofy, climbing on someone's back, he gets down and straightens his golf shirt and walks away from me, heading outside. I think he's a goofy scrawny pencil-necked geek.

+ wife almost steps on "the baby" lying in between sharp coral rocks, I pick it up and wonder what to do with it

+ the (detective?) called on his phone for a drink by buddy, but he's been drinking already (cheap bourbon, some vodka, something else). I'm bodily there but just observe, then tell the story to a fairly attractive young asian woman who's sitting with a different group to the side of the same room

+(f) I see an outdoor covered pathway. It is either covered from the rain, or is covered by a sheet of running water. I try to make out the faces of the people beneath the water.

+ outdoors the board of the company is killed by explosives, the large board table with the board members fly hundreds of feet up into the sky and turn upside down and fall to the ground. Those sitting in the gallery to the side move forwards and are unharmed. Later there is a reception for the dead, lots of people, they notice me (a relative?) and I feel a bit like crying.

+ sitting down to eat in a fancy restaurant booth table very crowded with people, some of which have overly skinny/narrow heads, I sit on the corner edge of the right bench. Look under the table bumping feet with people, you're supposed to take off your shoes and put them in a container at the end of the table (room side), we're eating stuff. But the food it turns out was supposed to be individually boxed portions, each one about $3000 fixed menu, but I wonder why the boxes were opened up and we were served on common platters instead.

+ kids who play my instrument, just learning, visiting my house, candle light, want to play duet, get music, put together music stand, recorder stand, see two playing mine, one holding it like a flute. I hear the duet [accurately] in my mind and perfectly in my head, I hope my music is still there in my case, I find it and head down but wake up

Dream
I remember being in a house, it was night time and snowing outside. There was a lot that happened earlier in the dream but I've forgotten. The context is that now I'm experiencing a prologue story for the npc's, a backstory I guess.
There was a newly born babe and his mother had passed away.. His older brother wanted him to stop crying so he strangled the baby, I couldn't intervene since it was a memory but it was really sad :/. I then watched the years flick by, the dad was a werewolf and was almost never around, leaving the two brothers alone in the house. Whenever the younger brother cried he would get strangled, he soon learned not to cry. They're a bit older now, maybe the youngest is 5. It's night time and snowing still, I see a scene where there's a werewolf flailing its arms at someone.. The person stumbles through a doorway out of sight. I think it was the dad attacking the older brother. Then I see the 3 of them, dad and two sons side by side. Except the brothers are vampire dogs. The dogs had pitch black fur with a brown underbelly and bright red eyes. I'm in the house for real this time, they hound after me and run me up the stairs. I slam a door shut but it's only closed long enough for me to clamber out of an open window onto the roof. It's completely covered in snow, I see trees around the house in the dark of the night, evergreens. There's a light at the base of the stairs leading down from the roof, but one of the vampires is going to come from that way.. I just remember its eyes, so red and evil. They glowed and seemed to not really 'see' you, like they weren't in control.

I mostly joined this forum just because of this dream. Basically this is how it went, what I first remember seeing is being held (Bridal Style) in Death the Kid's (DTK) arms I'm not exactly sure why but I assumed he caught me from a fall or something along the lines of that. Nobody else was around and we were in the very front of the DWMA (Death Weapon Meister Academy) He was blabbering inaudible words and had a VERY red face. The only thing I heard out of him was "I really like, wait, love you." And I could actually feel my face heat up. My mind went "Screw it" and I grabbed him by the back of the head and kissed him. Note that I have never been kissed before in my life and it actually felt like a kiss and It was amazing. The reason why I wanted to post this somewhere is that I have never been kissed before and by body simulated a kiss. Let me tell you that right after I woke up I nearly fell out of my bed reaching for my dream journal.

So since I'm already a proficient lucid dreamer my goal recently has been to search my dreams to see if I have a spirit guide. Maybe there's a trick to it or Im trying too hard because so far even though I'm lucid it hasn't gone anywhere. I feel like I have something watching over me though in other dreams where I'm not actively trying to meet that spirit/force.
So my last quest was short and wierd.
I was dreaming about taking a part time job waitressing like I used to do on my 20's. I feel pretty confident because I was pretty good at my job then but everything just goes wrong and I can't keep up...I start becoming lucid at this point of stress and recall my goal. So now i'm flying up through layers and layers of building floors and find myself standing in a failu dark hallway thinking about meeting my spirit guide. I see ahead of me this huge dog which I'm assuming from the size and look to be a wolf. It strats leading me down a hall towards the elevators. The elevator door closes and now this wolf is a dog standing loke a man but in a suite. I started laughing to myself at this point thinking how funny dreams are and loose the thread. I woke up.
I think my dream was influenced from having watched Game of Thrones the night before. Anyways. I'll keep trying

I am shrouded in darkness, as the light seem to slowly seep out of the world. I know that this is a dream, but it feels so real. I am a spectator in my own mind as the floodlights burst on, and the music begins to play. "AND NOW, THE SEVEN TIME DARTS CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORRRRRLLLLLDDDDDD!!! DREAM MASTER 27!!!!!!!!!!" The music is deafening as I make my walk down through the crowd who are all chanting my name. I can feel the heat, the intensity and the pressure of the occasion. As I walk onto the stage, my heart sinks slightly. My opponent is non other than the great Adrian Lewis. We exchange a respectful glance, but now I know it is time. This is the ultimate test. The darts match to end all darts matches. I can feel the sweat on my face. I can feel the blood coursing through my veins. This is darts.

I don't know if this is some sort of premonition? Maybe I will face Adrian Lewis in a darts game soon. I am very good at darts so it could happen if I become professional. I think this dream may have been my minds version of a dress rehearsal for the walk out and the whole situation. I know if it does happen, I will be better prepared now...

This is my first DJ entry in a long, long time, and I've deleted my previous entries. I plan on updating my DJ regularly now.

I had a non lucid, where I was in a forest. There was a spider sort of insect on a waist-high green bush, crawling up and down it erratically. I got the feeling that I was inside some sort of 3d computer graphics program, because I felt like I had clicked a button so to speak, when I "activated" some sort of lighting effect- I mean, I removed the source of sunlight.

I say "I" did this because it felt like I had made it happen somehow, and it was a result of something I had done, although this seems illogical now.

Instead, everything was illuminated, from every angle. There were no shadows anywhere because everything was illuminated equally and not from anything- it just was.

I remember thinking that this disorientates spiders, it was just a sort of gut feeling. The spider did not move at all for about ten seconds, then it flew at me, or jumped, I am not sure. This gave me a fright and woke me up.

I had fallen asleep after listening to the "I thought I ate a spider in my sleep..." creepypasta on YouTube, read by CreepsMcPasta.

I went to bed early last night on 3 glasses of wine (yeah I know) and mild depression. I woke up around 2am with memories of a dream where my brother was very angry with me. I have these dreams fairly regularly, where either my brother, my mom, or my husband really seem to hate me and I can't figure out what it is that I have done that has made them feel this way, or to this extreme. I also had memories of being near a black dog -maybe a lab/mastiff mix?- who was viciously defending her puppy from my dog Cayna and I. I was trying to slowly back away and keep my dog from interacting with the angry dog mama, and my fingers were very nearly bitten off several times. When I woke up with these dreams still on hand, I felt too sick and too apathetic to write them down.

I read for about an hour before I laid back down to attempt sleep. WILDs were on my mind, they almost always are in the early morning hours because I've had so many in these circumstances. I usually know I have to lie on my back and remain very still until I feel myself getting sleepy, then the buzzing/synthesizer noises come and then I feel myself push out of my body and float away from the bed. I tossed and turned and slept for minutes at a time until I returned to lying on my back and feeling really sleepy. I heard loud discordant crashing sounds instead of the more usual buzzing/synth sounds. I felt myself rise out of my body, and I floated to my right and up until I was against the wall. Where my face was touching the wall, I could see an Iggy Pop poster hanging there in the darkness. I don't actually have this poster or any poster hanging there, but I didn't think much of this, and I continued to float, but towards the ground at the foot of my bed. My dog's bed is there, and when I landed I saw her; her face slightly distorted like it has been in other lucid dreams, sort of snarling and scared. I tell her it's ok, I'm dreaming. As usual, I worry if I am really at the foot of my bed and talking out loud. I get up and try to fly. It works, and I start wondering around my house. The clarity wasn't the best I've had. My house was dim, somethings were normal, and others weren't. As I approached my front door I thought, 'Wait! I should experiment here. Should I meditate? (I've done this before with strange effects) Then I decided I would try to reinvent the interior of my home, because as I was trying to fall asleep earlier in the night I have visualized a fantastic treehouse/hobbit-hole house in a forest of giant trees. I closed my eyes and told my self that when I opened them, my house would be amazing. It didn't really work. My kitchen had expanded and looked different, but my old rotten house was still mostly there. From here I lost lucidity or my memory of what happened next.

New dream: I was with my Mom and Step-Dad in an upscale department store/hotel. They were trying to exit the store by climbing up some rocks that were part of a display, and I was trying to explain that all they had to do was walk through a couple of hallways back to the hotel and exit from there. They didn't seem convinced, and anyway, had already managed to mostly slip through a crack in the wall to the outside sidewalk above.

Then I was with my brother in McDonalds (!!! I haven't eaten fast food in a long time). We each had our laptops and it seemed like we were having a meeting. I was just going to order some coffee. At first we were trying to squeeze into a booth with 4 other people, and then I noticed all of the other empty booths around and suggested we use one of those. The dream gets even less cohesive here—my brother's wife was there, then we were either at their house or my Mom's. Dialogue happened but I can't remember much of what we talked about. A portion was about Shepherd puppies, and people breeding them, and how one guy had a web-cam on his to help sell them. I was trying to share my knowledge of Shepherds but no one wanted to listen.

Then I was in a car, maybe in the backseat but someone else was definitely driving. My mom and her husband were saying things about me that I found really out-of-touch, like laughing about how I love certain things/celebrities that I haven't been into since i was a teenager. I tried to correct them but they just smiled like they knew better. Then my Dad called. (he passed away last year) He told me Happy Birthday (not my birthday, but maybe I was thinking of Father's Day?) and was his usual excited and goofy self. He also joked about me liking a certain celebrity and things I used to like when I was a teenager. I turned to the woman driving, who I could now see (and I seemed to be in the front passenger seat now) and I knew she was my dad's girlfriend(dream only, not IRL). I tried to tell her that I wasn't the same person they thought I was, and she seemed to pay more attention, but still didn't really believe me.

Last, I was walking and talking to a vague someone and explaining to them how it seems that I must come off as stupid to everyone because it seems like everyone treats me that way. The look on their face told me that they also thought I was stupid, but was trying to placate me.

Thoughts:
I gave a lot of exposition throughout, so there isn't much extra to add. I think I have self esteem issues, anxiety, and guilt over not seeing my family much nor feeling very connected to them.

First dream

It was an evening. Strong wind was blowing and sky was covered by dense layers of dark-red, huge, towering clouds. I was in my father's carpentry workshop, we were working on something with father, sister, my friend and two other men. My backyard was changed and door to old toilet hut were placed right in front of the workshop. The doors were opening on their own and despite the strong wind, sister scared me that it was a ghost opening and closing them all the time. I looked at the clouds and saw loads of lightnings shooting across the sky. I said "There's a photo session up in the sky, we should get back to home." We went back to my house, it looked like it was before renovation. My friend said "Wait, I've got to go meet someone at the wolf." I immediately realised that the wolf is a name he's calling one of the streets. We went out, it was just after the rain. We saw something strange - a blue orb of energy, surrounded by an orange, circular energy beam. It moved towards us really quickly, disappearing and appearing in another spot. I said to my friend "Look! It must be an anomaly, just like in stalker games!" We went around it, but then I decided to throw some pebbles at it. Two throws missed, I got a feeling that it's watching me. Third throw hit that orb and it exploded, releasing huge amount of steam. We went onward.

Second dream

I was in school, ending my classes. We were going down to cloakroom, I took my stuff and went for a bus. There were only a few passengers inside. I looked out through windows and saw that storm is coming. I felt that the bus is going to fall on it's side, so I leaned through a window and pulled a few strings that made it keep balance. When we were driving in a crowded town, I found myself in a cargo that was placed externally, on the bus' side. I was trying to not get crushed when bus was driving by other vechicles. Suddenly the engine turned off and I had to leave the cargo. I met up with two girls from the bus, one was very rude and we couldn't stand each other.

Fragment

I was in my house, in a living room. There was a tied up couple lying on the floor. A man in a black suit with red tie and a blonde, completely naked woman. I was holding a gun in my hand. The man said that they're not my parents which made me shot myself in an arm. Then he said "We're just freaking, kid!" This made me rage, I shot at them a few times.

Programmed myself to wake after every dream, which I did but I find it very much like coming up for air then plunging back under the murky waters, quite disorientating. So lots of chaining.
Also I tried FILD a lot.

D1 - Escaping from my father I travel across europe. I am being traced by a chip sticking out of my iphone.

D2 - Staying in Ireland, in a farm house. Waking up early in a bedroom, with double windoes overlooking the farm courtyard. I am a child but do not want to go visiting the farmyard animals with the other children.

D3 - I am a child again and I am unable to stop the bathroom tap running (a phobia of mine when I was younger). I am yelling for my My mum to sort it out.

oooo I don't really remember having dreams where i'm a child before Oo, must be deeper.

I had about four false awakenings LOL

First dream night of 6/19/16. Second dream occurred earlier in June 2016

Bits and pieces of dream fragments. I was at my old home in Denair. I was in the back pasture. I was looking at my neighbors home. Nothing had changed. I was looking around the pasture and just-- home.

Then I was on a trip. We were at a large event. I was with class mates? Peers? We all needed to be seated in fold down seat chairs for the event. I found my spot, the seats were assigned. The seat to my left was vacant. We neared the start of the program and my seat mate arrived. He had prosthetic legs and used braces on his arms to get around. He asked if I could help by folding down the seat for him. Or maybe he didn't ask and I asked him. But, I helped him by pushing the seat down and he was able to ambulate in to the chair. Next thing I know, we are done. The event is over. And we are waiting for the bus to pick us up to take us to our next location.

My seat mate said he wanted to stand up and move around a little bit. So, I offered to stand with him. We were talking. I felt fond. Like he was a brother or a dear friend, even though I barely knew him. It was getting dark out. We were talking like old friends and I remember touching his shoulder and feeling comfortable. Not like we were strangers.

I knew his name was Landon. Somehow. We were quickly becoming friends. And then we heard the bus start and watched it pull away. And I exclaimed and then grabbed my phone. I told Landon not to worry. That they must have just forgotten us. And I called the instructor and told her she'd left us behind. SHe was cross but I explained I was waiting with Landon and he needed to stand up --- because of...yknow. It was awkward. He was standing there with me. She said they'd turn around. I turned to Landon and told him it'd be okay. They were turning around and coming back to get us.

------

I was on a trip. My father and sister were there. We were in a hotel room. Had somehwere to go the next day. But we were in San Francisco and I kept begging them to go out with me. Let's go! So I finally convinced them to go see the Golden Gate Bridge with me. We walked. The start of the bridge began as a tunnel, instead of on top of land. There was a special entrance for pedestrians to walk from the tunnel up to the bridge. So, we were walking on the bridge and I was so happy, when suddenly it started to shudder. People started running back toward us. A frenzy. I turned and we all started to run back toward land. The bridge was swaying violently. There was panic and everyone was stampeding. My sister was beside me, my dad behind. As we reached the end of the bridge and to the tunnel, it cracked and water started to bubble up. My sister and I leapt. We all leapt. We came tumbling down on the other side in the little bunker/tunnel. Behind us there were groans of metal and water. Spewing everywhere. A jagged heap of twisted iron. You could hear screams of people trapped. But, the metal continued to sink and then it was just rushing water bubbling around the metal.

It was then I looked around and realized my dad was nowhere to be seen. I turned to my sister and we didn't need to say anything. We didn't have to say a word because we both knew. My stomach fluttered. Emergency crews began to show up and started to put blankets around survivors and I was numb. I couldn't think. All I could think about is how I left him behind. How he'd probably stayed behind to help someone. That I hadn't stopped to make sure he was with us. That I'd just run in sheer blind panic and didn't stop.

The emergency crew said it was too dangerous to go in to the water with the bridge still unstable. They said the bodies were likely gone- under all the sediment and iron. They did not have hopes of recovering them. The personnel began to escort us somewhere else. To a common area so we could continue to process. I made the call to my mom. I don't remember what I said but it was awful. I couldn't stop crying. She was very short and abrupt.

Time passed. And I was still numb. It wasn't real. It hadn't happened. Had it? I went back to visit the site. The bridge had been rebuilt and corrected but they kept the old section there- for memories. I went down to the tunnel and there was a sign up with the names of those lost that day. It wasn't real. I couldn't feel. I just stared at his name on the sign and cried. How could this happen? How could I leave him behind? How could I just selfishly run?

A few days after having this dream, my sister and father were unexpectedly flying across country and had a flight cancelled that caused them to be stranded in Texas. I picked them up and we were watching a Warriors game on TV, who's team logo is the Golden Gate Bridge. I told them about my dream and we considered it a bad omen for the game. The Warriors ended up losing.