false awakening

Took 0.5 mg of melatonin before bed. Did a visualization MILD, visualizing my University.

Lucid Fragment

I am walking down the street near my university when I discover that I'm dreaming. I am able to change aspects of the landscape as I have visualized myself doing while awake.

Beautiful Women (fragment)

I am once again walking to class at the university. As I cut across a parking lot, a bunch of beautiful women show up. They are either African or African American, and look like models. I walk along with them, or they walk along with me, or something. Maybe this is even part of the above dream, but I can't remember.

Kids in Danger

I am in my own home (which also seems to be another place, maybe my old church). There are a bunch of kids with me. There is some kind of adventure going on, like a Boxcar Children story, or Tom Sawyer. I am a kid in this dream, named Taylor, or Huck, or Oliver or something like that. The other kids are out in our main living room, and there are bad guys outside. There is an adult with us, who leaves to do something that is supposedly important. I don't trust this guy.

Upon leaving us kids alone, the man says "keep watching out this window. Don't go anywhere or do anything, just keep watching. If they come, this is the window they will come through."

I know that there is a window upstairs that the villains may come through. I also have a feeling that the man is in with the bad guys. I decide to go watch out the back window. On the way, I stop in the closet to get a gun to take with me. I look in the closet, and see my 20 gauge and my father's 12 gauge shotgun. We have a couple of .22 handguns in there, but the shotguns are more powerful. I pick up my father's shotgun, and look for some ammunition. There is a box of shells on a kind of wooden ledge above the guns, but they seem to be fishing lures. I root through and find some shells I think will work, and drop them into the shotgun.

I run back to the back door (also the front door of my RL home) with my gun. I look out the window, and apparently see something. I dash out the front door, snapping the shotgun shut. Then I run a little ways, in pursuit of the bad guys.

While I'm running, I notice the shotgun seems awkward to carry. I look down, and see that it has more than the one barrell it usually has. As I look, I first count 2, then 4, and finally 6 or 8 barrells. Not only that, there are two triggers.

"How strange," I say to myself. "I know that this gun only has one barrell. What could be going on?" Immediately the thought comes to my mind "I must be dreaming. There's no other logical explanation."

I look around. Everything seems so real, it doesn't seem possible that I am dreaming. But there is no other explanation for the gun, and I know that I often think my dreams seem real. I turn around and head back for the house. "I'm dreaming," I say again, trying to grasp the idea. It just seems so real.

On my way back to the house, the plot and the realism overcome my realization that this is a dream, and I loose lucidity again.

Private Eye

I am a private detective. I have an office in a large city, which is also my current university, which is also my former university. Inside this office, you can walk into a sort of screen which hides your image from the outside. While I am hidden like this, my partner goes out onto the front porch of our office with a beautiful woman. I know the woman is trouble, but it's his decision. I watch from the inside, hidden behind this screen, while the woman shoots my partner. Then she shoots a few witnesses.

"We'd better shoot all the witnesses," her accomplice says.
"I don't see anyboy else around," she says, "nobody is in the building. Come on, let's get out of here."

I pick up my gun, and dash out the front door after them. They travel down the road, and turn left. I follow. They go down an alley, and I pull out my gun to be ready in case I come across them suddenly. Looking down the alley, I can see a house at the end that they are headed towars. It is one of the houses that I lived in when I was little. Apparently, this is their hideout.

I inspect my weapon, and notice that it is not a gun at all, but my set of throwing knives. I guess that's better than nothing, so I pull one out in case I need it. I look again, and I see it is once again a handgun. Then I remember that I never put bullets in the gun. At first I think that I keep the gun loaded, but upon closer inspection I see that the chambers are empty. I grimace with disgust at my oversight. What kind of detective am I?

I turn back towards the office. As I walk, crowds of people fill the street. The street is also a hallway now, I am at one of my colleges and classes are just letting out. I turn towards my office, which is now the maintenance section where I used to work. I need to get back, but some girl I know comes up to me. She wants me to look at her pictures, by which she means she wants me to go to her adult website. I don't really want to do this, but she keeps insisting. She shows me some rather obscene pictures of herself, but I manage to push past her to my office. Around here the dream ends.

I am sitting at my desk at college. I am extremely tired and don't feel well at all. Probably
because I got up at 5AM the previous morning and didn't go to bed until midnight for the
purpose of WILD. For some reason I decide to do a reality check. To my astonishment, my
finger goes through my palm! I am lucid but I think I am in my dorm, which is not true, I am
actually at home.I get up and instantly feel much better and more awake. I decide to call my
crush, as a dream character, so I get out my phone. I flip it open and the screen is black. I
realize it is because electronics just don't work the same way in dreams so instead of pulling
up my contacts list, I just dial her number manually. The numbers appear in white on the black
screen as I enter them in. At first, I enter my number. I realize it and clear it out and enter her's.
The phone rings and someone answers but it is not her. I decide to try the method where you
call out for the person. Again, someone answers but it is not her. Apparently there is someone
else in the hall that has the same name. It is some random girl that I do not know. I then wake
up. I am still in my dorm sitting in my chair I reality check again and find I am still
dreaming! I try again to no avail. I walk out of my dorm and go outside where there
is a playground. Obviously, there wouldn't be a playground on a college campus but
this is a dream so whatever. I start climbing around on stuff and eventually think of
the time its 9:45 "crap I'm missing English". I am probably a little less lucid at this
point. I get up on some monkey bars and I start to notice the dream fading. I try to
stabilize it by rubbing my hands together it works. A guy about my age appears
beside me and says "Why won't you wake up? You need to wake up." I decide to let
it happen and I wake up in my dorm again. I look at the clock. 2:30. "Crap, I missed
a lot of classes." I realize it's futile to try to do anything about it but then realize,
it's spring break. I don't have classes. I am still quite tired but I get up. My roommate
comes in and says something about me joining his family for dinner. I start to think
about getting ready for that when I truly wake up.

9/03/2011 - I only ended up with a few dream fragments last night but thought they were interesting enough to post.
So I was reading about astral projection over the last few days, and the author was saying that a lucid dream is a facet of an astral projection, i.e. you could 'astral project' to a 'dream pool' as he calls it, or to other areas/levels of the astral plain.
Anyways a key to having a successful astral projection is to have enough energy to do so. He describes a simple 5 min chakra opening/energy raising technique. I gave it a go before I went to bed felt some strong sensation in the base and navel 'chakra' not much in the solarplex, heart, throat and some smallish sensation in the brow and crown. I decided to repeat the process and see if I could get them all to activate, but unfortunately fell asleep ( he did say that doing this just before bed 9/10 times you will fall asleep, I guess he wasn't lying about that).

The first dream fragment - I had an insane throbbing sensation in my forehead, as if I had just done a sprint and my heart was inside my forehead pounding like crazy. I was afraid I was going to die, literally. I somehow knew I was dreaming and made the conscious descion to wake up. I don't remember seeing anything. I woke up with a jolt and sat up, my 'real' heart was pounding, and a slight tingle in my forehead. Then I remembered he said that during a projection it is normal for your chakras to go mental sometimes, especially your heart one, it can feel like your going to have a heart attack. Damn it !.

The second fragment - I'm not sure if this was real or a false awakening, I'm thinking a false awakening, maybe. I 'wake' up at about 4am I didn't have to get up till 5, I could remember heaps of dreams so I started getting them clear in my mind, and was planning to write them in my laptop on the way to work. I remember thinking I had a 'level 4' lucid dream ( this is why I think it was a FA). I remember saying to my self level 4 is when you know you are dreaming but don't consciously do anything in the dream just go with the flow of the dream - Interesting I have been thinking about rating 'levels of lucidity' to try and categorise my dreams better. I wonder what the other levels should be?

Finally I work to my alarm at 5am - I had heaps of dream memories and was trying to sort them out in my mind, so I kept my eyes closed and ignored the alarm. Then for some reason I thought my alarm sounded different to real life so I sat up and looked at it, it looked normal, I looked at the time, and looked away and back again as a reality check it didn't change, I still wasn't convinced so I did a 'nose plug' RC failed damn it, its real life. I turned the alarm on snooze but all my dream memories had gone. And my mind was starting to get full of thoughts about what I needed to do today. - is that a false false awakening

So this chakra opening/raising seemed to increase the vividness of dreams as I did have lots of dream memories, I have used the 3rd eye meditation a fair bit and it seems to increase dream activity. Definatly worth some more playing, hopefully my head wont explode.

Original Date: 3/8/2011
Type: False Awakening - Partial Lucid
Dream:

I woke up and walked into my living room, went over and looked through the blinds out the window (like I usually do) and it was still dark outside (like it usually is) and noticed my neighbor had like 3 other cars of visitors over there (which takes up all the space of where we have to park), and then I noticed my car was not there! So I was looking over to the right farther and saw that my car had been moved, but I didn't understand how and knew it had to have been while I was sleeping, someone had to have come into my house gotten my keys and moved my car while I was sleeping!! I went to the door and saw that it was not closed all the way and the lock/bolt was sticking out but the door not shut, like it was locked but not closed. Somehow I knew instantly that my neighbor had come into my house and did this and I actually started seeing images of this in my mind in my dream. Then I opened my door and I was looking around... my old best friend was sitting in the dark on a curb, she said something to me, but I couldn't make it out. She came inside and I knew then that I was dreaming*. So I decided to skip past an RC because I knew I was dreaming and I knew exactly what I wanted to do... I wanted to walk to my bedroom and see myself sleeping. So my best friend followed me into my bedroom, but when I got there, my body was not in the bed, the bed was empty. I was disappointed because I expected to see myself lying there, but I just saw my bed all unmade and pillows strewn around it. Then I looked at my best friend and we started to make out (which was very strange to me) and then I woke up. (I think I lost lucidity because I didn't know what to do after my expectation of me not being in my bed was disproved.)

Feelings:
Exposure, violation, surprise, disappointment, curiousity

*Side Note:
I am becoming lucid when my dreams take place in my current home, I'm beginning to know instantly when I am in my living room (which is where I practice my waking RCs the most) that I am dreaming.

This was a dream I had on February 25th.

It's not too big and exciting for my first DJ entry, but it was still probably one of the first lucid dreams I documented, though it was short.

Okay, so it began as I was getting up out of bed for school. The point to note thinking back was that I was already dressed and I just went out the front door. I didn't even bother looking at the clock, even though I should have. The last thing I remember before I left was leaving itself.

After I opened the door and walked out, after an extremely bright, warm light, I appeared in a parking lot, in front of a huge building. Now I hadn't become lucid quite at that time, so I continued on to enter this building.

When I entered I had my office chair in hand, not questioning it. In front of me were many people, moving about on the lower level of this huge building. It was primarily made of glass and what looked like some sort of steel. Everything seemed reflective, and it was so bright it was amazing. It felt like some sort of large mall complex. Regardless, I moved forward and an escalator with a few people going up them was in view, and to the right of that was a white marble staircase.

At this point I hopped on the escalator, and met someone I knew. It was a kid named DJ, ironically. I knew he was a friend of my brother's and one year older than me. He was leaning on the staircase rail, watching the people go by on the escalator as he noticed me.

He called to me and followed me to my destination upstairs which I had apparently already decided on.

The destination was a fairly spacious apartment, relatively the size of a decently high rated hotel suite, to the right of the escalator and staircase. It was called "Apt. 103" as declared by the golden plaque near the door. I seemingly had a key, or it was unlocked, and I entered. DJ followed me here, and we sat down for a minute. I almost seemed to be thinking about looking for something, but had no idea what I needed.

At this time I also set down the office chair, and rested on the futon near the entrance in a sort of living area. Then I looked to the clock, and reality checked my way into lucidity.

Something I should address is that numbers and times on the clock are a strong presence within my daily life. Particularly, many repeating numbers that I see on a regular basis. Why on the very day I write this I've seen 10:10, 3:33, and 5:55.

Using this basis as a reality check in my real life, I was able to practice it when the concept came into my dream. When I looked at that clock, I saw 10:10, which I see quite often. I can only assume this was in the morning based on the brightness I had seen. Regardless, I realized what time it was, and stopped myself for a moment.

I had to prove to myself subconsciously that I was indeed dreaming, so I ran out of the apartment, my office chair with me again, and burst through the doors of the large glass building. In another sensation of bright, warm light, I appeared in my kitchen, now without the office chair, right in front of the stove with the green digital clock staring at me, bearing the time 6:41.

Upon this event of apparently reversing time, I went to bed in the dream, and woke up at 5:30 as usual in reality by alarm clock.

The next time I saw that clock above the stove in reality, it bore the time, 6:41.

Another odd thing about me is that my eyes tend to change color, but rarely do. After waking and waiting for my eyes to adjust to the light, and of course, recording this dream, I looked in the mirror and noticed my eyes were green, different from the normal deeper blue my entire family is accustomed to.

Well that's all, boy was that long winded Thanks for reading if you read it all!

Horrible recall + staying at other people's houses for a few days = limited dream journal entries

My friend Gabe comes over quite unannounced. He goes on my computer and we look at my computer history one page at a time together. I'm really uncomfortable. I had a false awakening that I wrote this down.


Jamie is in a very surreal version of his apartment with a fuzzy tie dye shirt and matching tie dye sweater. The sleeves are rolled up and held in place with weird little velcro tabs on each arm.


I keep having small Sims things pop up into my dreams since I re-downloaded The Sims 2 A burglar came into the area that I was having my dream. My POV shifted into the usual top-down view when playing, and I saw him creepin around the entire area stealing Sims objects. The view was pretty neat, because I could see myself and where I was dreaming, and then the whole area that I was in.


My mom bleached my hair and then started to dye parts of it bright blue

Sunday March 6 2011

I had a False Awakening last night. All I can remember before the FA was that I was in a car, looking through the window of another car directly at a woman. I said to her (like I knew it the whole dream), "I am really dreaming."

I felt a surge of excitement and had my FA, except I was lying on my stomach with my feet at the headboard where my head was supposed to be. I didn't realize I was in a dream. My body jumped up because of the excitement but I thought I should try to do a DEILD by laying down and thinking of the dream again. It didn't work. I went to another dream (which I can't recall well, something about a three story mall) and slept the rest of the night.

I have a tendency to sleepwalk, so maybe it really wasn't a false awakening and I did change my position during the night.

DJ Log: March 6, 2011 – 7:00AM (USA Eastern)
Text color legend: · NON-DREAM · NOTES · DREAM · LUCID ·

(Note: There were a couple of previous dreams, but I have no recall of them. This one is exceptionally clear and vivid, but my recall is suffering this morning.)

I woke up (FA) to it raining really hard outside. I get up and look out the window to see flood water running down the ditch and quite a bit of water running down my driveway. There is mud and large rocks washing down the hill, across my driveway and into the road. Several cars are trying to drive by between the rocks, but some of them are getting washed away. My truck is not in my driveway. It has washed up the hill and is sitting in the ditch up from my driveway. There are a couple of county maintenance vehicles also sitting there. I can see some bright blue flashes of light from the fallen power lines shorting out.

When I woke up, it was actually raining really hard. I'm certain that the sound of the rain on the porch roof outside my bedroom window interrupted the previous dream and brought this one on. I'm certain that I was 2 seconds away from lucidity here. I was just starting to notice that my truck got moved uphill in the flood waters, but woke up too soon.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

Good morning! I just had one of the most memorable nights of my life. I had a terrible nightmare, which affected all other dreams. Luckily it was only a dream. The other dreams were kinda cool and even got lucid.

22.45: Sleep

05.30: R.I.P Felix
I'm out with a few guys in town. We're joking around and drinking alot. I take a piss at the curb with Henrik. He tells me about a forum in which his friend posted something. He shows me the post, it's very sad and sounds like a suicide letter.

Dream skips to the next day. I wake up. I get on facebook and check out what's going on. My friend Felix seems to be getting alot of posts for some reason and I check out his wall. Almost twenty people has liked his status, which is something about not being amongst us anymore. I realise he's dead. He killed himself last night his twin brother tells everyone. I'm horror struck, I feel like crying but I have to force the few tears to come. I must be in shock. I lock myself in my room in the house we grew up in. My aunt and her husband enters the room and I wonder where they have been. "We've been sick for weeks! As soon as one of us got better, the other one just gave the disease back" she tells me with a smile.

She's alot thinner now than before I notice. "What kind of disease was it?" I ask. "Oh just stomach flu". I hate that disease with all of my heart and I cover my mouth up. "Get away from me!" I yell and begin to sob again. I run out of the house into the rain. I sit down behind a pool covered in plastic and hold my head for a while. It hurts. After a minute or so I decide to get up and walk back in. I remember my mom telling me something. "For every smile you make, you get points". I force a smile on my face, she only wants what's best for me. My mom greets me in the living room. She starts talking about pyjamas and how we could dress up in those and run around and rescue people like super heroes. I smile again. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just deal with it and move on? It's like I've become retarded.

Dream skips. I'm out talking a walk to clear my mind. Suddenly my cellphone rings and I pick it up. "Felix cell". No way! He's dead! Or was it some tasteless joke?. I pick up. "Hello?". "Hey man, it's Felix". I am relieved to the point of tears. "I am dead, I'm calling from the other side". What the fuck? "It was all a stupid mistake, a drunken mistake" he tells me. I begin to cry. This time the tears come for real. "You guys will have to be there when they divide my stuff up, heh, my sister has already packed twenty one bags". Apparently they were going to move after what had happened. I cry even more, my whole body shakes and I'm crying out loud.

05.30: WBTB 15 minutes

06.30: Fragment
*I'm at the local pub. A few old classmates are there with me and I ask for a beer. "You can lend one" one of them tells me. "Yeah I know, I already owe you a beer from last time, my memory is pretty good" I tell him and accept the can of beer. I take a sip. "You know, my friend killed himself last night" I tell them. Everyone's quiet. "Felix... dead" I say. People don't know how to react. "Not a very fun fact, but I thought you should know incase you're wondering why I'm acting strange".

06.30: Bright lucid MILD
I'm in the back of a full bus. We take a left turn and I realise I'm dreaming. I want to get off the bus to have some fun. I push the button and I imagine the busdriver pulling the bus over at the curb. It stops and I grab a girl's breast before getting out. Perhaps she will follow and we can have some dreamsex?. The doors close and the bus takes off. I look around and it's a warm, very bright summer day. I seem to be in the middle of an intersection between two huge fields. I rub my hands to make the dream more vivid. A car goes past me. What to do? I look at the car which has almost disappeared around the corner.

I lift my hand up and the car goes up with it. I make a small pushing motion and the car flies off into the distant. Two more cars appear and I lift them up as they reach me. I shoot them out into space using both my hands, going in two different directions. Sweet, sweet power! I feel like doing something crazy. I take off all my clothes and stand there butt naked. I start peeing on the street. I hope with all my heart that my bladder isn't really emptying itself. A whole bunch of cars shows up. I count six of them as they close up, all volvo's. Time to practice multiple control! I manage to lift five of them up, but drop one. I hold the other four ten meters above ground, and I make them spin around eachother.

I release them at the same time and watch as they all crash in all directions. It's quite amazing how realistic it all looks when you don't interfere I think as one car crashes into a tree and slams into the ground, glass and debris going in all directions. I rub my hands again and turn around toward the third road. Suddenly my face feels funny, like I'm having a stroke. I can't move my mouth and my head feels heavy. Oh shit, gotta stabilize! I rub my hands and focus on the ground. "Stabilize!" I yell and begin to sing some random song. I refuse to let the dream go and soon I can stand up again. Sweet, I stabilized it. What else to do? I feel like flying. I run and jump, and it's like I've got a broken rocketpack on my back. I smack into the ground first and tumble around before I start to rise. I fly into the forest the car crashed into, I can feel pines prickling my face.

I start to feel my body and I'm moving my fingers. I decide to DEILD and lie completely still. A few seconds later I hear a loud screeching sound and wind blowing in my ears. My arms (which I'm lying on) starts to cramp. My hands and fingers starts to curl up. I ignore it all and try to visualize a mountaintop. I soon lose focus. I can see Dr. House. "Visualize! Don't just think about it!" he yells at a patient. Cuddy starts talking in Spanish. "What does it mean?" House asks. A patient had said what she repeated. "It's about their deathgod, he cursed himself" Great idea for an episode don't you think? I wake up and write down my dreams. I realise this is my second lucid tonight. I can't seem to write properly. I wake up for real. Damn FA's!

08.00: Football
I'm watching some people playing American football. Apparently this is what the guy who killed himself did before he died. I spot the guy, a friend of Henrik. Everyone's got foam on their bodies for some reason. A whistle sounds and people are about to switch sides. I stay on the defending team and try to position the ball over the small plastic holder for punting. I can't get it right and struggle with it for a long time. Some random guy walks up to me and hands me a home-made rocket. "Just connect the wire to that thing" he tells me. I put a small electric wire into a socket and the rocket takes off. It goes straight towards a building and explodes just outside of a window. I spot a small ball of shockwave going towards us, it's like something almost invisible.

09.30: Demoted
I'm with some evil girlfriend. I mean really evil. I've been sick for the past few weeks, and she hasn't let me get on DV! I am finally allowed to though, and I log in. I have been demoted! I check the chatlogs and see that PercyLucid kicked me from the chat because I had somethign called: "Matebot" or something. Weird. I check the "DG Away" thread, and people had asked alot of questions about where I was. I start to write a DJ entry about where I was and why. Stupid evil girlfriend! I wonder why the hell I allow someone so small control me so much.

09.30: Wake up

Amount of sleep: 10 hours

Supplements: None

That's it! I haven't cried like that in all my adult life. Fascinating what the mind can do huh? Oh well, I'm glad I had it, even though it was very emotional at the time, it was only a dream and an amazing experience. Nightmares always are! I refused to let the nightmare be the only thing I had during the night, and even though I usually don't get lucid more than once every weekend, I felt like I deserved to become lucid after what I've gone through.

Keep on dreaming, HARE BRA!

The following dream I had on 5-hours sleep. This would have been my 3rd REM cycle which means this dream may have been over 45-minutes long. It was extremely, extremely, realistic. To the point that when I woke up I felt I had not been home in days or weeks. The visual quality, in complete honesty, was more vivid than real life. I say this because in real life our eyelashes block our view and veins in our eyes can make some lighting conditions slightly blurry. I have 10/20 vision so this was not a product of wearing or needing glasses or contacts.

I woke up. My long time friend Lynn was massaging my right hand as I did. She didn't look completely sober and she seemed very bleary and passionate about giving me this hand massage. I felt uneasy, because I have a jealous girlfriend and I was wondering how I let myself alone with Lynn in a room.

Sitting in the room on a chair a few feet from my bed was an earthy/hippy looking guy in his mid 20's with rusty blond hair and beard. Lynn was saying something to me about working my energies or something. She eventually got off my bed and headed out the door. The guy sitting there laughingly told me about how Lynn had pulled a similar stunt and acted really weird to someone else recently in attempt to practice her Chinese medicine.

I did not recognize the room I was in. It was beige, metallic, somewhat cramped and had no windows. I felt confused as to where I was or how I got there. The guy started making small talk (which I don't recall and) I wasn't paying much attention, as I had a sinking feeling I was some how terribly lost.

The guy suggested I go into the living room with him, so I got out of bed and followed him. The living room looked shabby and unimpressive. We sat down on a brownish colored sofa and continued to talk as I desperately tried to orient myself. Soon afterward, one by one, all my "roommates" came home. There must have been at least ten other people I appeared to be living with. I didn't know who any of them were, but they all seemed very familiar with me.

They all sat around talking to each other about various things. (This part of the dream could have easily lasted 10-minutes by itself.) I sort of made excuses for myself for not knowing what the hell was going on. I just woke up. I didn't feel too hot. But eventually admitted, "I have no idea who any of you are!" They laughed it off, and implied I had done too many drugs or something the night before. I started to become terrified of the possibility I had a massive case of amnesia. I hid it, but inside the fear was swelling up strongly.

Then, Sabrina, a girl I haven't seen in many, many years walked in with a big smile. She looked thinner and healthy and I stood up to greet her. I somewhat shouted for joy. "Sabrina! Now you I know!" Everyone laughed. At this point I said "Now I don't know if I'm dreaming or not." I was so relieved to see another person I knew, the fear level dropped and I could pretend to fit in a little. (This part of the dream could have lasted another 10-minutes.)

Eventually my girlfriend walked in and it looked like she had just got off work. She looked sweet and very calm like she had a good day. When I saw her I felt desperate to take her aside and confide in her how lost and uncertain I felt. She told me "Lets go up to our apartment." I felt relieved, because I thought we all lived in that small unit together and I couldn't understand why I would ever choose to live that way.

We walked into the halls which were also metallic and had dark worn-out atmosphere difficult to put into words. The place looked futuristic but extremely old like something from the movie Bladerunner. I followed my girlfriend up flights of stairs like a lost puppy. She remained calm and not alarmed. On the way up the stairs I asked her "Can we go back to my home? I just want to know that it's still real." She laughed it off and we walked to our apartment door.

At this point I turned around and saw a crazed looking man was following closely behind me. I opened our door, which sealed like the door of a submarine and had a bright red glowing light above the thick black metallic peep hole. I seemed to know how to open it perfectly well and I shoved her in the door, followed, then double locked ourselves in. Checking the locks from inside, they seemed loose.

Our door entered close to the kitchen. The place looked even darker, more cramped, and less inviting than the first apartment. I was starting to become very, very, uncomfortable again. Our apartment was divided into three floors. The basement level I never went to, but it was nearly pitch black save for a few red LED's on the walls. I followed her upstairs to our bedroom area. There laying on a chair was a very pale girl with shorts on sitting on a chair half dazed.

I was alarmed, but my GF explained that was only our roommate. I told her I couldn't take this place any more and asked if we could go for a walk outside. She agreed, and we left through a side door and went outside where there was only an empty parking lot, and gray looking forest. We walked into the forest and I started to feel dizzy. (The dream started to destabilize.) Horror struck again...

I put my arm around her for balance and asked "Am I mentally retarded now? Did I have some sort of accident?" She only just slightly smiled and looked at me. --Then I woke up.

I want to emphasize, when I woke up I felt I hadn't seen my bedroom in at least 2-3 days. I felt like a stranger to my own life, and I noticed that my real room was not as visually intense as my dream room.

This dream falls into a common category of my dreams: Bizarre Apartment

I'm not sure what order these came in.

1. My mum came in my room and woke me up to tell me what she was going to do today (weekend) (After I woke up properly I reality checked and thought to myself, 'I don't remember what she said to me'. Went out and checked her room and she was still asleep.)

2. I was with two other guys, and we had to get down a huge sandy/rocky hill. We tied a rope to a ?rock? and let it fall. We noticed it only went part-way down, and there was a colour change in the sand where it ended. One of the guys said that that was where the 'magnesium' ended and we would have to use a different kind of rope for the rest of the way. So we tied a red rope to the end of the normal rope and climbed down. There were a lot of sharp rocks at the bottom and I thought, 'Lucky we didn't run down here'.

This dream sort of morphed into my nightmare, I think I was supposed to be with one of the guys

3. (Nightmare) This guy and I reached our destination, (the scenery reminded me of Atacama Desert in BFBC2) we were sort of just instilled with fear and images of the ?teenage girl? flashed up a lot. (Its a bit vague how I knew it was a nightmare at this point). I 'woke up' to find myself in a dark room next the the other guy, and the girl in front of me. She said something like. 'Oh, you woke up. We'll just have to use a different method then.' I saw her move over to a selection of sharp and painful surgical items. By now I knew it was a dream but I was too scared to become lucid, so I decided to wake up.



On reflection, I should have stayed in the dream 'cos no matter what happens I'm safe.

Pre-dream: I had just received my datura ferox seeds and valerian root from an online vendor yesterday, so I decided to see what effects they might have if I were to consume some and take a nap. I meditated and asked the spirit of the plants that they guide me in the dream world, I gave them my respect and sent them energy. I crushed two datura seeds and brewed them in a tea and drank it whilst my valerian root was brewing. Before I began drinking the valerian I already felt a strange head pressure, almost a headache, and a very deep sedating effect. I proceeded to take the valerian tea but by the time I finished I felt very heavy and was feeling slight delirium in my thought process.

I laid down and watched my hypnagogic imagery and was promptly shown an eye that was in the center of my vision, staring at me. Unlike other times I believe I've seen my third eye, I think it was lady datura this time because it was glaring at me and promptly after I fell asleep and had a few disturbing dreams.

Dream: I had various fragments of random visions including taking care of some kids I didn't know that were vomiting water and I kept panicking not knowing how to deal with the problem, running up and down a mountain trying to avoid jaguars and shadow people, and lastly being cornered in front of my sister's house by a pitch black grizzly bear. The dream with the bear was the most memorable probably because it was the last one before waking up. It would morph into a cub to seem less sinister and would approach me but then it would morph into a huge black grizzly and try to attack me, I'd randomly find pointy but short objects like daggers or forks to defend myself with and I'd proceed to stab it whenever I could, trying to survive.


What happened next was the disturbing part though because I had stabbed it numerous times and it was on the floor choking on its own blood and it was no longer the menacing bear but instead an innocent little puppy. At this point I thought "Oh my god I took datura and now I'm delirious and just killed an innocent puppy and was hallucinating. I have to hide it's body. Did anyone see me? It's broad daylight. What have I done?!" I never noticed I had fallen asleep or was now miles away from home at my sisters house for no apparent reason. I saw the poor animal gasping for air and I couldn't stand it so I tore (yeah, tore, with a fork thing, because I had no knives) its throat open so it would die instantly and stop suffering. It was very grotesque and detailed, I hated every second of it. I had blood all over my hands and felt like a psychopath, how could my life ever be the same after this?


I woke up soon after with a few false awakenings and imagining seeing myself doing random things like ironing clothes, taking bread out of the toaster, and pouring myself a glass of water, only to find myself back in bed.

I would never go to waking life delirum doses of datura but I do plan on continuing to take 2-3 seed doses for oneiric purposes. I feel that Lady Datura is testing me but I'm not giving up that easily, I'm gonna fight off the night terrors until I become lucid so I may speak to her and find out why she tries to invoke fear in her users.

Dream - Lucid - AP

Did some MILD mantras ("I will become lucid, I will recognize dream signs...") during meditation before bed for about half an hour.

I was at my house. I was signing up for classes for next semester, and I got all the ones I needed (yay!). Then, I found out that the girl my brother has liked for a long time (who claims to not return the feeling), was trying to prevent any other girls from talking to him. I was getting really pissed that she would do such a thing. I then remember trying to figure out when I needed to leave for class. I was very relieved that I had gotten all the classes I need to graduate.

Then, I remember getting out of the shower and thinking about my brother's situation with the girl. Instead of putting lotion on my legs, I took a box of brown sugar, poured some out on my hands, and started rubbing that on my legs. It started to lather. Weird.

Then, I remember doing something for work. I was talking to this old couple, and they were telling me about some deal they wanted with these customer cards they had. They told me all these numbers to write in the blank boxes that were on the cards. Someone then came and handed them new cards. One of them said "Orgasm" on it, and it was given to the lady. Again, weird.

I was then at an ice skating rink with Ryan. It was dimly lit. We were skating around, and then we had to clear the floor because figure skaters were going to perform. I sat down on a couch next to the old couple from earlier. Ryan sat on a couch behind me. I watched a couple skate around the rink, and they kept messing up. The announcer kept going "Ohhh!" every time they'd mess up. The last move the girl did, she almost fell, but tried to gracefully pose at the end of the routine to cover it up.

I then heard Ryan's voice behind me, and he asked me to come sit back with him. I skated to the couch behind me to sit with him. I sat down, and there was a pillar in the way of my vision, and I couldn't see very well. I contemplated moving back up, and I told him I was going to, but I never did.

After this, I woke up to use the bathroom, and did a couple more MILD mantras as I was falling back to sleep.

~

I was at Hogwarts. I was in a forest, and there were trees that were crawling on their branches. They could not walk on their roots because they had been cut down. They reminded me of the trees in Lord of the Rings. I then saw trees weeping, water cascading from their leaves, branches, and faces (they did have faces). People were cutting them down and tearing them up to build some new addition to Hogwarts. In the dream, I (appropriately) called them the Weeping Willows.

Then, I was inside the school, talking to two women, when I realized I was dreaming. I walked the other direction and into an attic-like room. It was dark, and the walls, ceiling, and floor were all made of a dark-colored wood. In the middle of the room stood a girl of about 11 or 12. She was wearing scrubs and was kind of chubby. Besides all that, she looked almost just like me, especially in the face. I looked at her and said
"This is a dream!"
Crap, I thought, why did I say that? I know better.
She replied, with a smile,
"No it isn't."
I then asked her
"What's your name?"
"Susie," she replied.
I then said
"Susie...watch this!"
I jumped up onto a table, and turned the lights of the room on by commanding them to do so. I then jumped into the air and flew. I flew through the ceiling to a room that looked very similar to the one I was just in. Susie said something to me, I'm not sure what anymore, but she sounded happy and excited.

~

I was working for the company that Ryan works for in waking life. I had a house right down the street from Ryan, and Austin, an ex, was Ryan's next door neighbor. I had the van that Ryan has to drive for his job. It was parked in my driveway.

I was in the van when Austin came over. He entered the van, and started to make out with me. His pants were down, and I could see everything. I pulled away and told him
"No, I can't Austin, I have a boyfriend."
He got up off me and stopped trying to seduce me. He went back to his house.

Ryan then came over, and was trying to explain some things about the job to me. Another van pulled up in my driveway and started to load things into it. Ryan told me that was normal. I remember seeing a saw with a black handle and 3 other tools next to my van, but I can't remember what the rest were. Upon second glance, they were gone. I figured Ryan must have picked them up.

Then, I was driving the van on the interstate, and I lost control of it. I couldn't brake and I was stuck in the middle of a turn. I was also going very fast. I tried to stay calm, and I hoped I was dreaming.

Hey, look at that, I'm dreaming again! I flew out of the top of the van to escape, and flew up, up, up into the night sky. I tried calling out "Increase vividness!", but the dream faded.

Then, I had a false awakening in the van. It was morning now, and Ryan was there. I asked him what had happened. He said something about the van, something about finding me unconscious somewhere.

Boyscouts vs. the Fire Nation

Holden my brother, Tyler and I are hanging around downtown. We’re on this outside deck looking over the parking lot in the center of all the shops. I look over at a part of the brick buildings to my right that’s made of wood all the way from bottom to top. It’s made of strips of wood intersecting like X’s, like a foundation of a porch on some houses. Between the X’s I can see an old decaying sign.

At the same moment, Tyler seems to spot it: “Look, remember Weatherfields?!”

“Fuck yeah, I loved that place,” I say. It was an old restaurant that everyone went to as children (such a place doesn’t actually exist). Holden says he never went there, but I assure him he did.

In front of us, a few people get out of a little car. It’s a family it seems.

“Let’s go, there’s Kirstie Alley,” Holden says and starts walking out of the deck, into the parking lot and away from the family. It wasn’t only a fat joke, but the mom of the family also looked like Kirstie Alley, the actress. She was huge and was wearing a pink dress down to her ankles. Her flubby arms swung and instead of walking, she seemed to just tip in the direction she wished to go and flowed with inertia.

Holden, Tyler and I went to Goodwill, which was across the parking lot. Inside, I ran into the toys section which my dream-self never really does (Goodwill doesn’t have a toys section, and the whole place was more of a real store like a small WalMart). Tyler followed me and we began talking about wanting it to be summer out so we can play with water guns.

A couple started quarreling in the aisle so we left and went up front. There, we looked inside one of those claw machines. There was a really interesting looking umbrella. At first, I didn’t even know it was an umbrella. It had spikes in bands all around it, intricately engraved motifs from the handle to the top of it, where they followed the paths of metal in the shading part.

“Jack, you can have that blue one,” Tyler says. She points to a similar umbrella although colored light blue, making it kind of ugly. Where did Jack even come from? He has an ugly little face of anger when she makes this jab, and then he disappears.

Tyler and I touch a lot of soft stuffed animals in a big metal bin. I am particularly attracted to a white elephant and can’t stop touching it. Eventually, Holden asks us to leave because he’s bored of Goodwill, so we do.

The scene becomes us walking around Winslow, our neighboring town. Holden is a boyscouts parade soon, and Tyler and I are just following him around. Tyler’s smoking but doesn’t want her cigarettes anymore for whatever reason and asks if I’d like them. I think for a second and say sure. One is unlit and one is lit. I put the unlit one in my pocket and look at the lit one: where the flame should be, there is a hologram of a tiny flag that dissolves if you wave it back and forth. I take a drag and nothing really happens, no smoke, nothing.

We are walking up this big hill and I see my friend Autumn. She’s wearing a boyscout uniform just like the guys. It’s funny for me because she’s pretty big and walking up this big hill and doing dude-things with scouts, which is not of character for her. Not on the dream-plane, though!

“Autumn, why are you even a boyscout anymore?” I ask. She shrugs her shoulders and we talk about something (but I rarely remember dialogue in my dreams at all).

We get to the top of the hill. Tyler, Holden, and my old friend Cholage are at the top and want to slide down.

“What the fuck, you’ll probably die!” I say and make notice of the four-way intersection at the bottom (all of this is accurate in waking life). They all shrug their shoulders and start sliding down anyway. They just jump and their feet slide on the pavement, moving it as if it was very slippery and malleable mud. I don’t want to look like a coward so I start sliding too.

I’m half-way down and everyone else is at the bottom so I decide to call it quits. I can’t stop easily so I ram myself into a building on the side of the hill and then slide over and join Holden, Tyler and Cholage. They are on this floating house with a floating front yard, all of it on top of a small inlet. I’m really afraid of it sinking because I don’t want to get wet. Holden laughs at me because of how afraid I am, and I laugh too.

I look over and Tyler and Cholage are nearly naked making out with eachother. Holden is laughing and they both have smiles on their faces. I have an intuitive thought that they are doing this to make me jealous (though I’m not really attracted to either of them). I don’t want to seem jealous. But! I fall while the floating yard bobs in the water and my face lands right near their nude bodies. Whoops.

Holden and I start walking with the boyscouts as their parade starts. There’s a ton of boyscouts on the sidelines, but no actual onlookers. I think of how embarrassing this is, but no one minds. While Holden walks in the parade, I ask him about Avatar.
“We should watch Avatar sometime, I love that show. I’m re-watching all the episodes,” I say. He kind of nods, uninterested. “Have you seen the movie?”

“No. It’s not Miyamoto’s best.” (Why did my mind choose Miyamoto as the director??)

“Yeah I haven’t seen it either, I think they cast Aang wrong. He looks so serious,” I say. Holden agrees and we talk about it for awhile. I make a face, impersonating the actor.

Suddenly, the Fire Nation is attacking the parade! (I love how the mind works ) Everyone is running all over the place. Most of the boyscouts are Air Benders, like me. I get separated and am by myself, almost surrounded by opponents. Luckily, most of them are engaged with other battles and don’t notice me. One, in front of me, however, sends a giant flame dragon head at me. Its jaw is chomping as it comes closer. I close my eyes and focus my energy on the most powerful air attack I could do right now. I cross my arms, and when I uncross them, I send a wave of forceful air in its direction. The dragon head splits into smaller flaming heads that dissolve as someone pulls a big blanket of salt water over everyone. It’s sticky.



Around me, big booming voices are telling their followers to say a certain word that will bring them to safety. I see one of the voices re-embodied. It’s a God, a leafy Earth God that is putting all his devotees into a vortex as they say the correct word.
My friend Gabe says it, and I look at him strangely. He was always an atheist! I say the word, too, hoping for salvation, and I black out.

I wake up in a recovery area. Everyone is sitting on leafy clouds. My surroundings are dim. Holden is here, but Tyler isn’t. Heather’s friend Brittany is in front of me. For some reason, she pulls me really close to her and is making very affectionate moves! I apologize when our faces stick together because of how salty I am. She doesn’t mind, and starts kissing me. I wake up.


Illegal Drive

In the middle of the night, Tyler texted me and asked if I had any money for weed. I said no and went back to sleep.
In my dream, I am in the school, but under it, in this really cool art workshop that no one knows about. I get a text from Tyler and she asks if I have any money for McDonalds. I decide that I will take my car and get her some, even though I don’t have my license.

My car is underground where I am at the school, so I just go get it and drive off. I drive fine until I get to McDonalds, where I forget to stop at the window. I’m embarrassed so I just decide to drive home. I find that I’m going 80 down a hill and can’t stop. Eventually I hit the breaks. I turn into this little section of the parking lot in downtown. I try to keep going on this “road” but I find the only ways to go are up some…stairs? Shit, I am driving in a pedestrian park. I back out and go home.

False Awakening: I wake up and don’t know if it was all a dream or not. I tell my mom, hesitantly, that my car may or may not be here, and I may or may not have driven it last night. She laughs and says it was just a dream. Okay good!


Climbing The Tower

There is a big tower. A bunch of kids are climbing it, it’s some game. It turns into a tunnel halfway up and then disappears, turning over and extending some other way. I try to climb it but, like a lot of the kids, I fall. It’s a difficult game-like structure. I see how some of the more “advanced” kids are climbing it and mimic them.

I “get” how to climb it now, so I’m doing it all really easily. I pass most of the kids who I learned from. The newest part that I see is a green rope at the top of the tower that you hold on to as you fall off the side of it, into a swampy area. The tower was clearly just the beginning of a really cool journey.

I don’t grab onto the rope, I just kind of let my fingers glide over it as I jump into the swamp. A lot of kids “die” (and re-enter at the entrance to the whole tower) here. I walk around the tower in the swamp and come to weird area with a bunch of circular steps with newspaper over them. I hop along them, passing this area, and find myself in another swamp land.

There’s another tower which a few kids are trying to climb. I use my climbing skills and pass them as well. The top of the tower is a cool club house! There’s a few other “winners” inside, and we talk about the tower and just hang out.

Something happens, and the scene changes. I want to go to the club house again. I pass all the kids trying, and at the step area, I see why people have a lot of trouble here: the steps are made of pure ice. Because I hopped passed them, I didn’t come in contact with them enough to notice.

In the club house, there’s only a girl inside. Where’d all the cool winners go? She wants me to help her lure a Dryad from the swamp. First she suggest I set my Dryad Bow (?) into the water, but I assume she’ll take it. Instead, she puts her shiny Chaos Gloves (from Guild Wars) into the water, but nothing comes. I feel bad.




Fragment

I’m at school in a classroom I’ve never seen. I sit out back with my friend Celina. I haven’t been to class in awhile I assume, because everyone is working on some project and have pages of notes, and I have none. I don’t really care.

Chase calls me over from the other side of the room. He explains what we’re doing: making our own cereal boxes. I’m excited. It incorporates English somehow by having us add propaganda to the box. The project seems really fun. I want to make my box funny, so on the bottom I put the Surgeon General’s Warning.

A Visit To The Restaurant
Original Date: 2/25/2010
Type: Ordinary - Near Lucid
Dream: Before I was about to go to the Restaurant in the city I was getting ready and so was my friend and brother. They decided to bring their tea for some reason... not sure why but I though it was stupid. Then we left off to the store, on about 1min in I looked at my hand where the night before I wrote "Dream" (Last Night which was before I went to sleep) but the "Dream" wrote on my hand seemed to be nearly erased so I thought this might be a dream but my friend and brother were mocking me saying your not dreaming. So I continued thinking that it might be possible that I am dreaming but what if I am not? When we arrived at the restaurant I just ordered some things such as Apple Juice, I was still convinced that I might be dreaming so I done a reality check. (Turning off the light and turning it back on, and punching the wall.) Everything seemed realistic so I continued on with Life or Dream. Afterwards, I woke up inside another dream. (False Awakening) I just was happy when I woke in this dream thinking I was close to Lucid Dreaming, but then I finally woke up in reality and was still happy.


Age of Dream Ego: 15

Associations to the Dream Settings:
Going to the Restaurant, and attempting to see if I was dreaming.