false awakening

I repeated this mantra continuously last night as I drove out to visit ‘the folks’. No worries, I was alone. Btw, my wife and son would kill me if they had to listen to this:

“I WILL realize when I’m dreaming, and I WILL BE lucid. I WILL realize when I’m dreaming, and I WILL BE with my daughter.”

I verbally repeated it for 40 minutes as I was driving, just before bedtime. I fasted from lunch until bedtime, and then I ate one can of tuna, 100 mg B6, and a B multivitamin (washed down with a beer). I wrote out the mantra 4 times in my Dream Journal, and I also wrote out in big bold letters, HUG TIME DAUGHTER! WBTB after 4 hours and then I took 4 mg red spider lily extract and 200 mg choline. I had the best dream experiences ever: 2 lucids, 4 successful OBE’s, 3 failed OBE attempts, and 3 pleasant fun dreams, plus one hour in Nrem (the void). I also voice recorded each dream occurrence, immediately after each dream, and repeated the mantra a couple of times. Yes, I briefly woke up about a dozen times last night, but it was well worth it. The voice recordings allowed me to record what’s happened, without completely waking me up, and then I did the written journaling in the morning using the recordings as ‘recall’. Here’s the best lucid dream (I’ll add the other ones later):

I was false awakened because somebody was touching my back. I opened my eyes and I was lying on my left side in a huge bed which I didn’t recognize. About 5 feet away, in this huge bed, was a dark haired teenaged boy, who was quietly sleeping on his back. I stared at him, and thought now this is odd, there’s a teenage boy in my bed, and this isn’t my bed! I quickly closed my eyes, and I figured this must be some sort weird nightmare!

I opened my eyes again, and now the boy was lying on his right side facing me with his hazel nut brown eyes, staring right into my eyes. He had a very slight grin. I instantly became lucid!!! So I said, “Hi!” He casually replied, “Hi.” I quickly asked, “Who are you?” He then said something, and I could hardly hear him because I had my earplugs in, so I sat up in bed and leaned towards him, and I said, “What did you say?” He sat up in bed too, and moved towards me, and repeated his mumbling. I said, “I still can’t hear you?” Then I felt somebody touching my back again! What’s going here?

I said, “Who’s that (behind me)?” Then I felt somebody push against my back, and I could see blonde, curly hair drooping over my left shoulder. Then I heard my daughter say, “It’s me!” I quickly turned towards her and said, “Daughter!” She smiled ear to ear, and then I said, “Give me a hug!” She gave me the biggest hug ever! Then I asked her, “Who’s your friend?”, and she replied, “Huh, Oh, that’s Kenny!” Unfortunately I woke, because it was very emotional, but I stayed perfectly still in bed to try and get back into the LD. No luck, but suddenly ‘the vibrations’ started, and tried to OBE exit, but no luck again. This was a short, but a fantastic LD.

Non-Lucid Dreams

NL Dream#1:

I had a False Awakening where I started to look at dreamviews. I saw someone post about how PercyLucid uses the heat from his hands to control his dreams. I heard Dreamer's disembodied voice explain it to me further while I saw Percy acting it out in a dream. She said that his life energy would flow from his hands and he could expand his conscious awareness to embody more of the dream. I saw this golden light come from his hands to occupy space and whatever was within that space, he could manipulate as he desired. Dreamer said that it was a very powerful technique for dream control and that I should try it. I'm totally going to try it.

NL Dream#2 (fragment):

I was going to some secret club in a back alley with Dreamer. The ground was overgrown with weeds and the club looked like a cement bunker. She had bought only one ticket and I wondered how I was going to get in because I didn't have one. The bouncer guy at the entrance looked like a real creep but Dreamer wanted to be friends with him, she is very nice to everyone. She ran into the club without me and I tried to chase after her but couldn't keep up.

NL Dream#3 (fragment):

I had a False Awakening where I was writing in the dream journal for the study. I noticed that I had marked the year wrong for all of the dates (I put 2016 instead of 2015). I started to worry a little bit that I was doing something wrong and that I would mess up the study.

NL Dream#4 (should have been lucid ):

I was in a parking garage with a few people that I knew really well in the dream. They were my dream family I guess. My grandpa was Clint Eastwood, my dad was some random actor that starred in action films, and I also had a younger brother that was pretty much just a little kid DC. Grandpa Clint Eastwood was driving around the town, he was supposed to be an ex-cop. There were ambulances and police cars that drove past us, he said not to worry about it. Grandpa Clint Eastwood then began to drive very fast and very fancy-like. I knew that I had nothing to worry about because he was a pro, but my little brother was still worried. He drove us off a ramp that went over a giant river (probably about 300 feet across). The car started spinning as it went through the air and ran through this floating oil that was supposed to clean the car somehow. I remember thinking that such a thing was ridiculous and there was no way it would clean the car. The vehicle landed in the water and I jumped out before it could sink, but when I got in the water the vehicle started to float like a boat and took off towards the land. I swam after it by pushing the water behind me like it was solid.

I swam SUPER fast at mega speed and remarked to myself that there was no way that I could do that in the regular world but I never acknowledged it was a dream. Dreamer was at the shore, she began to take off her clothes to get ready for a swim. I noticed that she had a giant outie belly button and remembered that it was normally an innie. I looked away and back again and it was super long now, like an elephant trunk coming out of her tummy. She could move it around and it had a patch of fur at the bottom that resembled some nice, bushy pubes. A guy from my old lab group appeared and took off her belly button. She took it back and started trying to put it back in this now empty, black hole that was in her tummy. The guy said that he was surprised she could do that and that his belly button stuck to him like glass.

Lucid Dreams

Lucid Dream#1:

This happened really early in the night so I only remember part of it. I was lucid and hanging out with Francine Smith from American Dad. I thought that she was boring and I wanted to find Hayley Smith so that I could have dream sex with her (my usual auto-pilot lucid dreaming activity ). I tried to find her and get to her but I woke up before I could.

Lucid Dream#2:

This was another short one. I was in the backyard with Dreamer and one of her friends. She was doing something on her phone and I didn't want to bother her. I noticed that I had a huge bite on my arm and it looked super swollen. Her friend saw it and he said that it was probably a bite from a water creature. I did a reality check to make sure that it was really happening and air went through my closed mouth hole. I stood up and started to walk around while trying to think of what to do. I was really bothered by the spider bite so I popped it and white goo came out.

The dream started to fade so I stayed calm and tried to rebuild it by imagining details and engaging my senses. The dream came back and I remembered that I wanted to create a portal so that I could teleport to D.R., but I was worried about the stability of the dream. So I recited a mantra about being stable and calm but the dream ended super quickly and I woke up.

I found myself in the living room holding a basketball. I was trying to see how high I could jump with it. I then look outside the backdoor window and could see how shiny outside look like. I then enter father room and notice a few forks and spoons on the bed. I pick them up and lay down in till I had another FA. This time I found myself on the rooftop of a building. I ask why am I having so many FA's during my non lucid dreams. Some other voice from no where respond back saying they are also losing consciousness in and out. That's when I no longer could see anything but black. I ask how can you know but not I? The voice responded saying they are another aspect of me. Soon after I wake up. Lucidity Time: 8 seconds.

Wow. I've really let myself slide here... I won't post every single dream from January, but I will post the more meaningful/impressive ones. I've been trying Calea Z recently, so I'll mark the ones I had with CZ.

January 01, 2015

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Poor Donna

There was a really surreal moment in one of my dreams this night. I had been with Zukin, planning to go up north. We were driving, and then I sort of blacked out, and then I am in the water, doing a backflip through an innertube, or something. It was all slow motion and when I surfaced, I am in a lake. I swim up to the shore, where Zukin is waiting for me. We were apparently part-way to the property. We had stopped for a break, and now had to get back on the road again. There was a random young man at the beach who told us where we were out of the blue (we knew, and hadn't asked him), and wished us well on our way out. Flash Forward five years, and this man is dating Donna Noble, but was about to break up with her.

January 05, 2015 (With CZ)

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Utter Forgiveness

I was in the woods, running from some kind of wild animal. It caught up to me and was going to attack me, so I tried to strangle it... But then it turned into a human woman (who was now unconscious) and we were suddenly in my Oma's house. I was suddenly very worried. There were others with me now, and I feared (I was almost frenzied) that they would hate me and cast me out if they found out what I'd done.

When someone came into the room and saw the woman, they calmly came to her and picked her up, carried her to the couch and set her down, and began caring for her. They didn't show any signs of being mad at me, and said no words of loathing, scolding, etc. They just understood. It was suddenly very calm and peaceful.



Monsters and Climbing Naked

I was in some sort of apartment building in what I think was my hometown. I was with a group of refugees, and we were watching for signs of the giants that were after us. They were a bit like Titans. We began making plans for how we would be able to get to a checkpoint of some kind, and then enacted the plan. After checking for an all clear, I watched the team zigzag across the lawn of the apartment building. The route was completely counter intuitive and it would have made MUCH more sense to just shoot right for the spot they ended up in... But oh well.

I ran to where they were now, and we ran down the road for a distance. I ducked down an alley, which ended with a blank wall save for a door. I opened the door to find it was a door on the side of a 6th-or-so-floor of a building. And I realized I had nothing but a towel on now. There were stairs leading to the ground, and I had to go down them. I knew I had to, but I didn't know why. I started climbing down the ladder in my towel, and at some point I had to swap hand-holds completely, and it terrified me so much.

January 6, 2015 (With CZ)

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Forbidden(?) Love

I was at a fancy party, but had gotten there with a friend very early. There was no body in the round ballroom yet, so I went to the bathroom, which was for some reason crowded. I was in a huge black dress, and there was a rack for women's skirt cinches. Like, you took it off, put it on the rack, went to piss, and then got it back. I remember the bathroom being a bit steampunk (this whole dream was, really) and claustrophobic. When I got out of the bathroom, the ballroom was packed, and I could no longer find my friend. We were part of a secret rebel group, actually. We were here on a mission. The mission didn't require me to be with my friend, so I wandered about and mingled with the gentry, trying to get information from them. Then, I met a young man in a dashing steampunk-ish suit that looked like it was made to be with my dress. He was a soldier, or a security agent for the government, so we were supposed to be enemies, but I found myself so attracted to him. It was like electricity (yay, Clichés!) He almost literally swept me off my feet on the dance floor, and I was so worried about whether my friend/co-rebel was watching, for fear of being punished by the higherups... But at the end it turned out this man was also a rebel under cover. So it was alright that I had wild sex with him that night :D



Forgot my Shoes...?
For some reason this was a really striking dream. I went to a movie with my little brother and his friends, but realized as I got out of the car that I'd left the house without my shoes, or my wallet, and so he had to pay for me. After the movie, I got back home by walking through parts of the hospital in town. Like, I crossed town inside the hospital. It was like using the Nether to travel longer distances in the Overworld... The hospital is the Nether...

January 07, 2015 (With CZ)

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Home for the Holidays

I was working at some large, private Christian school (which, for the record, is SO not where I would want to teach) and it was the last day before the winter break. There were four or five classes that were normally held right in this huge hallway in the middle of the school, but my class was in a room down one of the side wings. I was walking out of the building and saw some old students and their Christmas projects at their tables in the hallways, and waved at them. I exited the building through the freight entrance thing, where someone was dragging a huge Christmas tree into the building... I wished them all a merry Christmas, and then saw my current mentor teacher in the parking lot. She wished me a merry Christmas, gave me a big hug, and then for some reason offered to wash my windshield for me. It smudged.

I picked up my little brother, brought him to my place, and then our parents came and picked us both us. While in the car, my mom was telling a story of something I had done as a child. Apparently I had gone up to a boy in my class and told him we were going to pair up and do lots of shit together. I had used a specific phrase often, but I can't remember now what that was. During the story, I was showing my [b]MoonMoon[b] in the car; my head was like on the car seat and my feet were hanging over my face? We pulled up to the house I grew up in and my brother and I were fascinated by the renovations my parents had made; the retaining wall to the right of the driveway was now made of lots of petrified logs with the rings facing outwards. They were rainbow as fuck and shiny. The driveway itself was also different. It was now a sort of red brick cobblestone type pavement. There was an ultra hard and transparent bordering on translucent coat over it all so that it would not wear away ever. But there weren't enough bricks apparently, and so there was a huge gap in the driveway where they had dug out the space of the bricks but hadn't had enough. It was like a small trench, and the car had a rough time going over it. I got out of the car and inspected the bricks, really liking the way they sort of shimmered. My neighbor came out, and complimented me on my shirt (I don't remember which one I was wearing).

January 08, 2015 (With CZ)

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Rich and Weird as FUCK

I was a member of a very rich but EXTREMELY eccentric family. We had lots of cuddle sessions with some large animal (I think they were Alpacas) and at some point I was flunking a class because I had a secret poor boyfriend, and so my parents docked one cuddle session per day for a whole month, and I was so sad. But I was really falling in love with who ever this low-class boy was, so I was okay with it all. We thought we had to keep it secret from my family because they would want me to date a rich man's son, but when they ended up finding out, the family was actually very okay with it. They even gave me back that cuddle session when they figured out I was only failing that class because of love.

My family invited him to come on our HUGE yacht (it was more like a personal cruise-ship) to play with the whales. We went to visit the whales at least once a week and they knew us well. they would do tricks and shit when ever they saw us coming. But this time they were all skittish and ended up swimming away from the yacht. We were confused but then a HUGE whale loomed out of the water and floated above the yacht. It had a shit ton of packed snow on its back somehow, and started slowly tilting sideways. I saw the snow start to fall onto the yacht, and panicked because it was enough to seriously harm us. I got knocked over the edge somehow but had hold of the railing, and managed to miss all the snow because of that. I apparently took a snap-video of the whole thing and sent it to my whole contacts list.

I ended up having to go to the bathroom at some point but accidentally went into the men's restroom. And I found out I was pregnant I think. That, or I was on my period and didn't have any supplies... Either way, I was REALLY embarrassed when I found out I was in the men's room. :D

January 13, 2015 (With CZ)

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Fuzzy Cars

I had driven to a clinic for my dad, who was there. I went inside but got scared of something, so I waited outside, where I noticed that there were lots of cars that were fuzzy and blue with brown hoods. Like, almost every other car was like that. It was weird. As if they were living things... A nurse came out of the clinic and offered me some candy to make me feel better since she'd seen me being uncomfortable before.


Sleepover

I was at home, and was having a sleepover in the hot-tub room so we could see a special comet that night. We saw the comet, and then also a double shooting star that arched all the way to the horizon, and stayed lit up for a few whole minutes. It was kinda beautiful!

All that SEAWEED

I was on a trip to Austria with my cohort. Apparently I had driven my car across the ocean, because when I got to the checkpoint, there was a bunch of seaweed all over my car and up in the rims. I remember driving through vivid, beautiful mountains, too.

New City?!

I was in Pokemon Omega Ruby, and was diving next to a cliff or something, and discovered a tunnel I had never seen before. I followed it and surfaced in a new city. I was ready to explore EVERYTHING like I always do in those games, and started talking to people. I ended up signing up for some sort of drawing, but knocked something over on top of someone right away and got disqualified, I think. I went into a store at the other end of this large town square, and talked to some cat-boy thing that had a piece of paper. He kept saying it said something, but every time I looked at it, it said something different. After three different paper messages, I got lucid for a very short time, and wandered around the town a bit. It was low-level lucidity and another of those ones where I just didn't feel the need to try to control anything and just watched what happened.

January 14, 2015 (With CZ)

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August Meals

I was on my way back home from a trip with my little brother, and two of my big brother's best friends, and one of my students who has Autism and his TA. (An odd mix of people)

We stopped at a McDonald's near home because my student. who was in my car in the passenger's seat, was saying he needed a break. He and his TA nearly opened the door before I stopped the car and got out to walk around and screamed a little. I went to the counter (it was like a food truck, but it was a real Micky D's... kinda weird) to order a double cheeseburger meal. I called it by the number, but the lady at the counter was a little confused, and then said, "Ooooh, you mean the August Meal?" I was confused, and she showed me the menu above the counter. Apparently they had started calling their meals by months instead of numbers. What I wanted was now the August Meal. I got a huge rubber car insert that would hold a burger as well as a rubber car drink holder, for free? It was some promotion they were having.

January 17, 2015

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Zuke's Acting Weird

I was at Zukin's place but she was talking to some other guy, ignoring me completely. I was a little upset by this, so I left and went down the road to a different co-op. There was some sort of small-scale party going on, so at first I was held up at the door, but then they let me in and took me upstairs. Zukin is there, in a room that was right above the porch I'd had to wait on. The floor was a really interesting pattern of black metal supports with sturdy glass bricks in them. So you could see down to the porch. It was pretty cool! I find out Zukin is also HERE, with the same guy. She is still talking to him, and it's looking like he is being way too flirty. Knowing that Zukin had her eyes on someone else, I tried to sit with them and deflect this guy's attention away from Zukin. I sat in a triangle with the two of them, so not in between them but not letting them in their own world, either. They started to cuddle, and Zukin was like, "It's all good Kestrel, we're just sharing warms." I said, "I can share warms, too..." But she ignored me and he like crawled over her and started kissing her neck. I sort of glared at Zukin, and she looked at me with this look that said "get lost."

I was so dejected by this that I just sort of wandered away wanting to cry. I looked around the room and had a strange feeling about the room... it seemed like something I had seen before, maybe in a dream... I had the inkling of something being off, especially with how Zukin had acted. She would never do that to me. I continued along the edge of the room and came to the entry to a stairwell with lots of stuff stored in it, and I tried to move stuff so I could go down these stairs... And realized I was completely naked. I tried to remember where my clothes had gone, because I had JUST been wearing them, and that feeling of things being off grew. I panicked, and rand own a different set of stairs to the bathroom. I was facing the door, wondering how I was going to get some clothes, when it hit me that I must be dreaming, which is why everything felt so strange. I looked at my hands and they were all nubby and gross looking.

I left the bathroom not really caring about what I was or wasn't wearing, and left the building and this weird anti-Zukin, to go flying. I had remembered the "go backwards" task just after taking a step forward, which was a little disappointing, but I jumped to fly in search of a crystal ball, instead. It took a few attempts to fly, which is weird because usually I can just do it easily. As soon as I was in the air, something shifted and cracked and the dream ended. I was back in my bed at home. This was either as False Awakening or I actually had woken up. I didn't RC so I don't know.



How Does It FEEL?

I was on a bus in some city with a river running through it. The bus was under a bridge hen there was a siren. It was an air-raid test, apparently, and people started getting off the bus, even though the bus driver was telling them not to, because it as safer in here. About 6 people, including me, stayed on the bus, and the bus driver started driving us around the city more, not letting us off. He said the idea was to look natural, but that we shouldn't be outside at all. Inside the bus was slightly safer, especially if it looked like it was on its normal rounds.

We got to the ocean shore, where there were some docks. He let us off here, saying we should be safe at this point. I looked up and noticed that the clouds were ALL animals. Like, giant sea turtles and eagles flying through the air, or giraffes or lions roaring. Some clouds were pretty patterns when I looked more carefully. I was now only with the bus driver and a kid, who looked a lot like one of my students but didn't quite feel like him. Then shit went down. Three drones of some sort were flying in formation above us, from my left to the right. Then another zoomed past, but stopped, and turned back to us. The bus driver told us to run for the buildings, which we did. The kid and I ran to the nearest building, which happened to be a public restroom. The women's one was locked though, and the men's one had lots of weird stuff stored in it, like a large plastic horse head... We kept going, trying to find places to get indoors while the drones were hovering above people, threatening them.

Things seemed to be over shortly after the kid and I found shelter, and then we walked on a bridge over the river that went through the city. I told him that if we walked down a path by the water, we would get back to where the bus had been when all this had started.

Somehow I ended up at home. For some reason I was laying down on the driveway, perhaps just glad that the "test" air raid was done. My eyes were closed, and when I opened them, there was one of the drones right above me. Like it was hovering less than a foot above my body, covering me completely. It tilted so that the end of it was touching my inner thigh, and it as saying things like "how does it feel to be violated? you space is penetrated, how does that feel, eh?" I was so scared but thankfully I woke up.

WTB 3am, woke just before 7:30am. Although I had set no alarm, it must have been intention that woke me, since I needed to take my car to the mechanic this morning, and 7:30 is when they open. So I drove in, did some grocery shopping across the street, and then walked back home since it's not too far. Returned to bed around 9am and focused intention to get lucid since I'd had such a good WBTB.

I was at a party in some guy's house. (The "party" theme must be WLR because last night I did the party scene in ME3, though none of the details were similar.) I was younger, maybe even a teenager—I think so, since the guy hosting the party was living with his parents—and wasn't really "me" in terms of identity. I was lounging on the floor with some other kids. A guy next to me joked with someone else about me taking my clothes off, and I reprimanded him sharply.

Vague scene change; it was the next day, and everyone else was gone, but I was still in the house—only now I didn't have my clothes. Obviously I needed to get them before I could leave, but this was complicated by the fact that the host's mother had come home, together with her young baby. I was sneaking around, hoping not to get caught, because I was afraid of how she would react if she found a nude girl in the house. I didn't recall doing anything inappropriate but she would naturally assume the worst.

I managed to sneak into the bathroom and thought that from there I could maybe call her from the door and make up some story about how I had taken a shower and now needed my clothes—though I worried that it might be hard to explain how my clothes had ended up in another room, and it didn't help that I wasn't exactly sure where they were. But my anxieties about this were resolved when I looked down and noticed that I was fully dressed after all. (Thanks, dream!)

Now my only challenge was sneaking out of the house. But the dream was even more obliging in that regard. The mother caught sight of me as soon as I entered the next room, and I was afraid that she would respond with horror and alarm at discovering a stranger in the house. Instead, she just called me over in a friendly way as though we were already well-acquainted and she expected me to be there. We went into her large walk-in closet, where she wanted my opinion on some clothes as she changed. She put on a lower garment that was made of two separately patterned pieces of cloth, one for each leg, that fit very loosely like Thai fisherman pants. Attached to the upper part was a horizontal band of cloth, at least six inches wide and several feet long, in a third contrasting color and pattern, that she could wrap around her waist to secure the garment. The cloth and patterns were lovely and I complemented it; she said that she had made it herself. Next, while she was putting on a top, I noticed how beautifully flat her stomach was in profile and complimented her on that as well. She laughed and said modestly that it had just looked that way because she had been holding her arms over her head.

After that she and her husband went out to an indoor mall and I tagged along. As I glanced around at the various shops, I reminded myself that since we were dreaming I should make sure to attempt one of the tasks, since it had apparently slipped my mind until that point. This made me wonder when I had first realized I was dreaming. I thought back and couldn't figure it out. In retrospect, I don't think I really was cognizant of the dream until that point, but at the time it felt much more ambiguous, like it had been a latent awareness all along. (I get this a lot—I think there is often a latent awareness of dreaming on some level, in which case lucidity requires becoming aware of the awareness!) That might explain why earlier the dream had soothed my anxieties rather than exploiting them, even though I hadn't been aware of directly controlling it.

I figured that since it was the New Year's holiday in the dream, it would be a great time to try the fireworks TOTM again, since there were bound to be fireworks tonight anyway. Again, it's hard to say if I had really "known" all along that it was the holiday, or if I had only just "realized" this when it was convenient to my goals. I was lucid enough to know that in WL it was much later in the month, but remembered it was still January at least... so close enough.

I walked back to the front doors of the mall, which were transparent glass, and looked out over the landscape. I didn't see any fireworks yet—it was dark out but it seemed like it was too early in the evening—and I hoped my intention could make some appear. I scanned the horizon but nothing manifested. I decided maybe it would be easier to spark them directly from my hand, so I turned around and started walking through the mall again, willing some kind of visual display to manifest from my palm. This should be easy, since in the past I've practiced summoning all the basic elements, and fireworks just seemed like a variation of this. But again, nothing happened.

I tried to figure out what the problem was, and wondered if maybe I was too distracted with the music. Here's another case where I can't say for sure when I started singing. Often I deliberately use music in dreams as a way to channel focus into particular tasks, a method that has worked very well in the past, but right now I felt like I was singing for sheer pleasure, and the music was of unearthly beauty. Now that I noticed it, I put aside my other goals for the moment to pay attention to what I was singing. I was using my voice, but there were no real words, just abstract vocalizations emerging spontaneously in a lovely, lilting melody. The most distinctive thing about it was that I was singing in harmony with myself, as though I had several different interweaving voices, at least three, maybe more. I've sung like this before in dreams and once again had to wonder: what does it mean? When the music manifests like this, so complex and ethereal, it feels like it has some primordial significance.

Most of my attention was now focused on the song, and nothing else seemed so important. I wanted to be in the open air, so I returned to the front doors of the mall and walked through them. I sang for a while longer, until the world around me faded in color and substance and I knew I was waking up. My first impulse was to grab my phone and try to record some of the melody as best I could before I lost it entirely. However, my phone seemed to be stuck on camera mode, and although I was insistently pressing the button and even trying to close the window manually by clicking in the upper right corner (a PC reflex, obviously this doesn't work on phones!), I couldn't get back to the main screen. Problems with tech like this are a dreamsign so I even wondered if this was an FA. However, my main concern right was to preserve any shred of the music intact, so I didn't want to distract myself with an RC, but tried to keep as much attention as possible on preserving the song.

Even though I now only had a single voice, I was surprised how easily and spontaneously the music was still flowing, and figured it was because I had just woken up and retained lingering traces of the dreamstate. More than traces, I realized, when I woke up again and knew that it been an FA after all. I once again reached for my phone and was gratified that I could now access the main screen. But I was still having difficulties: I looked through all my apps for the voice recorder and couldn't find it! I went back and forth from screen to screen, cycling through them all three or four times, and it was nowhere! I was forced to question if this was yet another FA, even though I was now sure that I recognized everything around me from waking life, and the dream memories and music were fading rapidly. In the past I've sometimes had trouble recognizing the voice app icon because it has such a bland appearance, but I had made a point of remembering that it resembled a microphone.

After taking more time and deliberately examining every icon on every screen, completely baffled by my inability to find it, the mystery was finally solved. I found it at the very end of all my apps, where I had placed it deliberately with the notion of making it easy to find, only I had misremembered its appearance: the last OS upgrade had completely changed the graphic to some wavy lines. It was too late to salvage the music. I tried to record the one line of melody that I could still vaguely recall, but it sounded completely wrong. I couldn't get my real voice to match the way the song sounded in my head, either in terms of the general register or even the specific notes.

Dec 17th - Jan 19th 2015 Super Brief Notes LD's #254 to 270 With Dry Spell

Super quick notes to catch up.

12/17/14 FA "back to sleep" vibrations, stay patient then visuals with eyes closed. Flight to Girl Friday's house and lose patience. Decide to fly up to moon but can't find it and decide I will drop down a bit and land on the moon but end up in a living room with my son about 12 years younger! Hold his hand and talk. #254

quicker...

12/18 cute DC gets me thinking about dream options turns into LD. woman in black is creepy and other weird DC's. Talk to them all searching for SC insight but dumb answers. I mostly ignore woman in black until she re-asserts herself. 255

12/19 with Wife on bench, a sexy woman approaches. Semi to full LD. Boldness initiated. Telepathically tell them to kiss and remove clothes. Sexy! 256

<vacation starts and I change everything I'm doing and pay the price with a dry streak after which I am slow to get back in the groove. Up to this point I was rolling strong 16 LD's in the first 19 days of December.>

12/30 I feel bold early in dream probably assisted by bold visualizations after WBTB. I tell all of the female DC's to follow and gather around me and I float up to a mezzanine overlooking a wide open library-like indoor space to get a good look around at the women. Sex and watching another woman undress sexily. 257

12/31 lucid at seeing deceased father-in-law. Happy to see this dream sign back! 258

Trying to DEILD. Clump of simple images in mostly empty void becomes more complete and I start air swimming towards the scene. Explore a video game-like green landscape by air. 259

1/5/15 become lucid in doctors office probably from seeing cute woman. 260

FA caught: semi to full LD. Crawl over bed. What if someone in bed? Sure enough. Must be a dream! End up in void. Another FA in bed caught due to unlikely scenario. Nudge vibrations. Void. Closed eye teleport. Eventually scene forms in bedroom. Cool courtyard between buildings do backwards TOTM while attempting to find crystal ball for other advanced task. Western shoot'em up! See TOTM thread 1/5 for more complete description. Only counting one LD in this FA series. 261

1/10 on couch with Wife I get dreamy ideas bring another woman in. Sexual then end up outdoors confusion then regain lucidity. Dance with beautiful woman and she becomes this glowing gorgeous bright eyed blonde. 262

Riding down street trucks passing I recognize the street from earlier dream and realize I'm dreaming. Billboard. 263

Praying for someone who seemed to get news of terminal illness my eyes are closed and I see the words "me too" and right below "smile." I take this as a sign that I am being given the opportunity to be lucid but wake. Not counting.

1/11 epic night...to be continued...

I was in my room, which was full of daylight. I had just woken up and I was going to get ready to meet a friend for breakfast. I could hear my mum and grandma talking in the corridor, but I didn't pay attention to them. I looked at my analog watch and it said it was around 3.20. I knew right away that I was dreaming. I looked at my hand and, sure enough, I had an extra finger between my middle and fourth finger. I caught a glimpse of my watch again, and this time it said it was 11.30. Then, I went to my desk, I wanted to make sure I remembered all the details of the RCs to explain them to my boyfriend, who recently took an interest in lucid dreaming (after hearing me talking about it so much). All of a sudden, I noticed a shadow behind me, turned around and saw a male figure standing there. He wasn't talking or doing anything, his expression was blank, but even so, he had startled me and I shouted: "don't scare me like this! Out, now!" As soon as I turned around again, he disappeared.

Then, I thought I'd get out of the bedroom and explore the dream. Before doing so, I remembered my mantras and said them out loud: "all of my dreams are lucid" and "I remember all of my dreams". After this, I thought it'd be a good idea to try out one of the month tasks from this forum. I was trying my hardest to recall them, and for some reason I thought one of the basic tasks was to get a pen and throw it at a DC to see how they reacted. So, I got a pen from my desk, opened the door and found my grandma talking to me. I threw it at her and after it hit her, she watched it fall without giving a crap about it and then went on talking.

I went back into the room, afraid I would oversleep and be late for breakfast. I checked the time on my phone (as though the time was going to be accurate), and it said it was 8.39 am. Apparently, I still had ten minutes until the alarm went off. I woke up for real soon after this, checked the time: 8.41 am.

I found myself waking up in father room. I quickly notice my father had been watching tv. I ask him what's going on? He tells me he had to drive to several places. I found this unusual because normally he doesn't go anywhere at night. I then have an FA to where I found myself waking up in father room. I quickly glided to he vcr to see what time it is. It stated 4:77AM, I knew this was incorrect and became lucid. However my lucidity felt very thin and soon after resulted in to another FA. This time I am unaware of the previous events. I the went to the living room and quickly proceeded to open the garage door.

When I did, I saw several men being repelled back by a dark figure. Then it consume them and they became ashes. The garage began to transform itself in to a ancient tomb and at the far end I could see a creature with red eyes staring at me. That's when the tomb had dismantle and became once again a garage. Not long I began to see hundreds of huge insects roaming all over the garage. This allowed me to become lucid, I left the garage to soon find myself sprinting to the back door. But then had this strong sensation occurred about someone following me from behind.

Before I could open the back door, I had been attack and pin to the ground. I then had another FA and soon after woken up. Lucidity Time: 28 seconds.

I was following my brother then did a RC realized i was in a dream. So i went into a different room but got stuck in a restroom with no door then i tried to go down the toilet to go to a waterpark but failed. After that i had a false awakening but somehow i knew i was still in a dream, did a RC knowing it would fail. I don't remember what happened after that.

I heard my radio alarm go off, and music was playing loudly, so rolled over and hit the ‘off’ button, then gazed up at my ceiling feeling some disappointment that I didn’t get to connect with my daughter in an LD or OBE. Hold on, something is in my mouth, what is it? I reach in my mouth and pulled out what felt like leafs. Okay, I get it; I’m having a false awakening!

I dragged myself out of bed, and it felt like I weighed 500 lbs. My CPAP mask was stuck to my face, and my blanket was over my head, so I clawed away to remove them piece by piece. I then called out, “Daughter, where are you?” I looked in my closet, nope, she’s not there. I could see my bed glowing with white light and wind was blowing my sheets around. The blanket was humped up on the edge of my bed and wavering in the wind, so I figured she must be under my blanket. Nope, she wasn’t there. I then checked under my bed, and again, nope she wasn’t there either. I could hear some familiar female voices in the hallway, so I went and opened my bedroom door, and I was surprised to see my two sisters standing there.

My oldest sister took one look at me, laughed, and said, “Looks like you had a rough night!” You know, that’s exactly how I felt, totally dishevelled. If I looked in a lucid dream mirror, I probably would have been a monster or something. My other sister was missing most of the features on her face (a skin face). I staggered past them and came upon my mom who was blocking the way into my daughter’s room. I asked mom, “Where’s daughter?” She looked over her shoulder into my daughter’s room and replied, “You can’t go in yet.” I was feeling barely able to hold on to my lucidity, so I blurted, “I need to see her now!” My lovely mom replied, “Go ahead then.” I squeezed by mom, and came upon my daughter who was ‘forming a body’ on her bed. Okay, this I’ve never seen before while lucid!

First her torso and head formed with short arms and legs, and she looked like skin and bones. Then her legs and arms slowly grew out as clothes and hair appeared. I was starting to freak out! I grabbed onto her skinny body and shouted, “Daughter, are you okay?” She just laid there face down and unresponsive. Suddenly she became conscious and flew up into my arms and hugged me, and said, “Dad!” Her body filled out to her normal size as I held her close. I told her, “I love you!” I instantly forgot about what I’d just seen (first time is always a shocker!). We hugged for at least a minute, and then my lucidity started to fail. I said, “Let’s go for a walk!” My dear daughter said, “How about a run?” I said, “Yes, let’s do that, running is fun while lucid because I can run real fast and never get tired.” We ran down the stairs, out the front door, and then my vision went completely black. I laid perfectly still in bed so as not to wake. Then boom, I was back in the dream at the exact same spot! I ran out the front door looking for my daughter, but she was gone? I went back in the house and asked my mom if she knew where my dear daughter went, but she didn’t know. I then woke up feeling great! Thanks daughter! My real alarm went off minutes later.

Dream recorded at 8:06 am. I was testing out the 'Sleep as Android' app. I'll post a picture of the results for that when I figure out how.

I was in a city. People were being evacuating from the country, but some 1 in 40 or so were being forbidden from boarding any public transit. They bore no clear signs of a solid group, it was a pretty even mix of appearances, none appeared sick, etc. I was one of them. This eventually lead to a lot of discontent. Even attempting to sneak aboard transit or cross a border people seemed to know who was part of the excluded group and prevented them from doing so. I'm not sure what happened but I found myself traveling with a group of others who had been forbidden from travel. We were walking along a beach at night. I had the feeling I/we had lost someone recently. I was singing 'A Health to the Company' in my mind. Then I 'woke up' at an SCA practice. It was still night, I ended up talking with some people about becoming active again. The conversation turned to the previous dream which I referred to as a game. There was a scene change and I was in an elevator. It was dimly lit and without adornment, possibly an industrial or construction elevator. I was typing something on a laptop. I 'woke up' once again and had to turn off three alarms, each set on a different phone. The first had me answer math problems (like my actual alarm does but far easier and harder than normal) I recal answering 3-0, 2+1, and 3/0. Didn't notice anything wrong. I set down that and picked up the next which had a sleep tracker and was annoyed to find that it had only recorded 4 minutes. The third seemed to have turned itself off. I felt myself falling asleep again and tried to wake myself up as I had to get to class. I woke up for real and found that it was 8:06 am. Over an hour prior to my wake up time.

I found myself waking up on the floor. I got up and decided to open the door in to the living room. I notice the garage door was open. I went in to the refrigerator to place a juice box in to the freezer. I then proceeded to go in to the garage and notice one person there. The guy slap something on my neck and then I ask them why they do that? But they insisted that I was making the whole event up. I decided to give up and enter back in side the garage. I notice a controller and as I am attaching it to a USB, I get this feeling like I could wake up. That's when I realize I am dreaming as I place the controller down. I have an FA. Lucidity Time: 4 seconds.

I woke up at around 6 AM this morning after grabbing a drink of water from the kitchen(best time for me to induce WILDs). I went back to sleep after feeling a bit tired and had a short dream. I'm not sure what I was doing in it. I can almost remember what some scenes looked like but only one scene caught my attention.

I was inside to small office apartment. I walked around the lobby which consisted of a big plain open space in the middle with a few desks and computers right next to the walls. I was standing in front of the direction of two door way, and within them I only two closed closets. I stood there for a moment until I took a set of sleeping pills and slowly started to collapse to the floor as I gazed at the handful of pills I had in my hands. That's when the dream started to fade away.

Seconds after that happened, I woke up in my own bed, or at least it felt like I did. It took me a couple seconds to realize that I couldn't rise my chest up. I thought of two reasons this could be happened...1. I was really tired or 2. I was stuck in sleep paralysis. The answer is obvious.

I started to panic, not knowing what could be within the room. I wanted to get up quickly, using the shoulders of my bed to help me get out of this paralyzed position. I yelled out in fear with both my eyes closed as I struggled getting up. I wasn't sure what to do until I recalled one of the ways I could use to help me maintain my sanity.

Because this felt a lot like a dream, I wanted to summon someone quickly to help me change the dream scene. I yelled out random names of girls I admired in the past and in the present.

"Trinh!!!" I yelled out, "Sophie!!!" I was yelling a few others but I tried to recall that one person I really wanted to summon, but had trouble doing so. Once I found out who it was I yelled it out. "Syd!!!"

None of them wanted to appear. That's when the most creepiest moment happened. I opened my eyes slightly and noticed something moving over my right shoulder. It was a ghost. I continued to yell out and once it finally seemed that I leaped up out of the bed, I heard a little girl's voice, giggling. I'm not sure whether she was next to me or inside my head. The dream ended there.

I was on a trail with a "party," a group of adventurers. Some of us were knights, one in particular is out for revenge. One of their knights (or was it their king?) was killed. The other knight there is his best friend. He wanted to stop the other from doing something reckless like going off on his own. He went after him, so there were fewer of us. The two knights is reminiscent of two game characters from a Gameboy RPG I played years back.

On the road, we passed met a group of characters... anthropomorphized animals riding regular animals. They were passing flyers to their event/celebration. They're from a nearby city/town.

Backtrack: I was talking to a wizard of sorts (unclear image and personality) that gave me a quest to destroy a small collection of towns/cities (10 in all) and the crystal sphere that... holds them together? They're all on a bridge. I imagined their cities destroyed, by something like meteors.

I also remember the place being so colorful and happy. Then when I went to their celebration, I was almost overwhelmed by the barrage of colors. It was a fun, happy place. I started thinking that wizard was a bad guy who just wants to destroy the place but can't do it himself. The townspeople are already wary of him. So I set out to make it my mission to help out the 10 towns.

I "woke up." I was on my bed, and I was writing the dream so I won't forget. I was excited, thinking I should make that dream into a game. My bed position was different, closer to the door, and I was looking at myself wearing a white shirt and blue shorts.

I was in our hometown. I kept going back to the city, for some reason, every few days. I also kept panicking about the clothing I was supposed to bring. I remember my stuff were near our deep well, and I keep dropping some of them off, but I have to hurry already. A friend, C, was already almost out of the gate. I ran after her.

I was on a train. It was night. I remember worrying that if I lean too much inside the train walls, I might get hit by some object outside. We reached a station (underground). I saw C ahead of me. I was still trying to organize my stuff and realized I brought only one pair of (black) socks and they don't match. They also look too big.

We stopped by an eatery. It's morning or at least daylight. I wasn't planning on eating, but then I saw the nice-looking fried chicken. I decided to order one: thigh and leg. There were a few tables in the open area (no indoors). The guy brought the chicken to our table. The guy on a nearby table was leaning too much towards us, so I moved a bit. I checked my money just in case I left that too. Then I saw the guy behind us (a bit of long hair, white shirt, and looks messy) drag C away. I ran after them but he opened a door to the "underground." The "door" is right in front of and kind of below the doorway of a house. I was about to go in but I got scared. It looks like a room, but colored... reddish? There were a few people inside, and they don't look threatening. There's another door across the room that leads to a dark place. (literally dark, and I can't see beyond it)

The few people who were there look like they're just lounging about, not guarding anything, but I was afraid of going in. I decided to call a nearby policeman. I guided him to the house, and we went inside the house to the other room, but then I realized it wasn't supposed to be inside the house. There was a skinny guy there (he lives there, I think) who didn't seem to mind we came in. He has a bit of a long hair too. The police was skeptical of me.

When I realized it's outside the house, I went back out and pulled up the door in front and below the doorway. I told him he has to call backup since it might be some sort of underground network of criminals, not just the basement. He ran in anyway, all confident, and I was beside myself in frustration. I thought of calling other police. I imagined where C was taken (I saw her going up and down a muddy place) after a few days, and I also saw a kidnapped kid.

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NOTES:

- I felt scared during the "awake" part of my dream.
- I slept around 7 pm. I set my alarm to 1 hour and 44 minutes (or was it 3 hours and 44 minutes?), but I fell asleep again after I turned it off. I woke up around 10 pm.
- My eyes were so tired when I went to sleep.
- I still have pending work.
- I inked a sketch I had that I labelled "Charlie."
- I was thinking of buying chicken from Chooks To Go earlier today.
- I think this dream shows how reckless my superego is at the moment.
- It might also signify that I have to once again meet my shadow. It's been years since I felt scared and helpless in a dream.

I was stressed about work. How am I going to complete all the obligations piling up this month, which is already getting shorter? I figured it would be best to prioritize. I should be able to finish the map in an afternoon if I get the right materials together. I thought about what I would need to finish it, and came up with vellum and archival paper. Fortunately I knew I already had these somewhere and was pretty sure where I had last put them, in a box in the storage area. I could see it in my mind's eye. I had woken up early and wanted to go retrieve them, but the rest of my family was still asleep.

My mother, brother, and father were all staying with me in the house and I didn't want to disturb them by walking through the building and rummaging around in boxes. I decided to go outside for a walk instead. I walked down the stairs, which were littered with all the discarded santa masks. This struck me as odd at first, but I reasoned we must have had a holiday party yesterday.

Outside it felt like early morning, and there was a narrow stream of clear water nearby. Next to the stream was a small building of naturally weathered wood, a sort of shed. Just after I entered it, it occurred to me that even though I know I'm awake, I should practice some RCs to instill good habits. No one else was around and there was no reason not to do a blatant one, so I jumped. Yes, just as I thought, it's obvious I'm awake, because that felt perfectly normal. But just for good measure I should do it a few more times in order to internalize the feeling of what a proper jump feels like in waking life.

So I jumped in the air several times in succession, concentrating on that critical moment at the apex, when the upward motion reverses and gravity takes over. I knew that I would be able to tell if I were dreaming because the timing would be off, that moment would feel drawn out slightly, extended. Hmmm.... it isn't, is it? Was that a touch of hesitation at the top? No, I'm pretty sure this is natural. I've just never concentrated on it sufficiently before, my attention is making it seem more pronounced.

And yet... it does seem a trifle too long. Could it be...? What if...? I had just begun to seriously consider the possibility that I might be dreaming after all, when I woke up in bed. Only very slowly did I come back to myself and realize that all the things I had taken as evidence that I was awake were wrong or askew, signs of false memory. The building and surroundings that seemed so familiar at the time were pure dream space, unlike any place I know in waking life. It made sense at the time that my whole family was there, but the only accurate part is that I'm currently sharing a hotel room with my mother. The anxiety about work is real enough, but it was only well after I had written down my initial notes that I realized that in the dream I had felt responsible for an additional project that didn't exist in WL, in addition to the real ones. Finally, as I initially lay in bed reviewing the dream, I didn't even notice how I slipped back briefly from genuine waking into an FA, and briefly found myself another place entirely, which only transitioned again to lying back in bed once I reached the point where I felt I had enough grasp of the memory to get up and write.