lucid

In which I break my #1 rule yet again. >_<

04.02.2013

Music Defines Reality + Sleep Paralysis (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I become lucid after some weird episode of talking to my friend's GPS. It is a very low level of lucidity.

I'm walking down the road, convinced that it is important to go home right now. As I'm walking, I look behind me and see a woman walking a little girl on a leash. It becomes apparent that the little girl is a zombie. They are pretty far off, so I figure I am not in any danger.

Suddenly, suspenseful music begins to play. It's really creepy, and I look behind me to see the zombie girl growing closer. I keep walking. Now, the music is growing in intensity, and I hear rapid footsteps behind me.

I fly into the air, figuring I'll be safe up here. I'm wrong. I turn to see the zombie in the air with me. She tears into my arm, ripping the flesh away to reveal blood and muscle and bone. It is incredibly painful.

This somehow triggers me to become stuck in sleep paralysis. I am now lying in what feels like my floor, unable to move. This horrible sensation is now shooting through my leg. It isn't pain, but it is uncomfortable enough to be just as bad, if not worse, than pain. I would have been writhing and screaming in agony if I could actually move.

After this passes, a rather unpleasant woman in her mid 40's begins molesting me. Again, as I am unable to move, there is nothing I can do about this. This goes on for quite a while until I have a false awakening. I sit up in bed thinking it's over. As soon as I sit up, my vision goes fuzzy and I see weird shapes floating all around me. I can't get a grip on what's happening, and soon fall back over into sleep paralysis.

I am sick of being paralyzed. I consider turning this into a lucid dream, but I worry that I'll just have more chains of false awakenings and sleep paralysis issues.

At this point, I manage to open my real eyes, still unable to move. It is already morning according to the level of light. I struggle to keep my eyes open, but I manage to focus on my colorful bedspread until I finally jolt awake for real.

I forgot to post this one yesterday.

04.01.2013

Chase of Fools (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Early one morning, I hear the school bus go by and I realize I've missed it. ((What I fail to realize is that I graduated high school nearly a year ago...)) I run outside and see that I will never catch up on foot. I guess I'll have to drive.

My neighbor Melissa has also missed the bus, so I decide to give her a ride as well. After I turn off my street, we are on a road that should lead straight to the school. Instead, we end up in some weird complex.

No longer in the car, we are walking on foot through the complex. I become lucid, because missing the bus and then getting lost is a common dream sign of mine. I decide that all I really want to do for this dream is to explore.

The complex is basically made up of short walls surrounded by a barbed wire fence. There are three sections to the complex, each one taller than the previous. As we are walking through this rather boring place, a tall naked man with deathly white skin and no face comes up behind us. He is angry that we are in his complex. He clearly wants us dead.

I am in no mood for a chase, so I figure that if we just get out of the complex, he'll go away. With a combination of flying and climbing, I make it out and head into the town. Unfortunately, the creepy guy is still following.

I decide to just ignore him out of existance. The only problem is, everyone I come across intentionally says something to remind me of him, so he continues to chase me.

I lose lucidity somewhere along the line when I have a false awakening. I make it back to my house, where I find horrifying sigils drawn everywhere. I recognize the sigils as a sign of an incredibly evil demon lady who has apparently tormented me in the past. I am trying to figure out how to get rid of her again when I wake up.

Dream recall from today's naps.

Nap #1(fragment):

Can't recall much, but there was something related to plants.

Nap #2:
Dream 1(fragment):

There was some kind of challenge where one should manage to go through a bunch of various traps on platforms over the spike pit. Judge, me, and some other dude were on the side of the pit. Dude was about to jump but the judge stopped him and said that he's disqualified, when he asked why, judge said that's because he was partly a dragon apparently, and that's not allowed. Dude was disappointed and left. I was the next to do it and i got some kind of list with rules and it was indeed saying that nothing dragon related was allowed. I was annoyed and i became lucid from that somehow, realizing that i am dreaming, i activate my wings and feel them, i want to look at them but my field of view gets all weird, i do an flip in the air towards the judge and then yell "So what now?", 'What you do now?". He stares at me like an NPC who is not programmed to do something in that situation. Shortly my field of view gets even weirder and dream fades out.
I wake up but the room is different, though before i can do anything i wake up for real.
I decide to try DEILDing from there but i drop into unconsciousness.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was playing some kind of game where i controlled some cartoonish character, there ere a number of levels coming along the huge zeppelin of come company, then later there was cartoonish child that had to be escorted through levels. Then finally there was a level on the Zeppelin itself, there was another child that was enemy and he tried to confuse me about which child is correct, he was successful and i attacked wrong one, it went berserk and was all red, and was attacking back like crazy, as result character that i was controlling fell from the Zeppelin, on the ground i eventually found the correct child and finished the mission. Dream skips.
I was near some house that was built in the center of graveyard, there were lots of policemen and i apparently didn't wanted to be caught or something. There was also one friendly policewoman, i explained something to her and she helped me to get through. On the graveyard, i started dropping tons of money all over the place, while saying something about donation( ). Everyone started collecting it and then dream ended.

Was lucid Saturday...something involving a theme park, and this stripper chick I dated once.

Today I had a few frags. I remember talking to my brother about bowling. We were having a conversation about bowling not being a sport until a person who is really good at it does it.

very interesting dream phenomena tonight. slept from about 12 pm to 9:30 am and had normal dreams, was awake for about half an hour, and fell back asleep from 10 - 11 am which is when the interesting stuff started...

midnight - 9:30 am

i was looking at clothes in a large department store. i wanted to buy a dress. the dresses i wanted (one black dress and one light blue dress with dark turquoise polka dots) were in the children's section, but i figured i could fit into them anyway since i'm petite.

the next dream began in my grade 9 drama classroom. i was talking to an attractive girl with long black hair and pale skin. i believe her name was nadia and i understood that she was russian. i felt intense feelings of love and tenderness for her. there was a bed in the classroom, and we wanted to sleep together, but we were afraid other people would see and judge us. at some point the classroom morphed into a bedroom. i remember nothing else.

10-11 am

hypnagogia

after a short period of wakefulness i lay back down in bed and shifted into a half-aware state. i was still environmentally oriented - i opened my eyes a few times to see my bedroom as it normally is - but i was experiencing the involuntary associative thought that accompanies the hypnagogic state. generally i enter directly into sleep shortly after experiencing this "hypnagogic thought" but in this case it was not so. i began to have what i now realize were auditory hallucinations. at first i believed i was listening to a podcast on my laptop, which i often do before falling asleep. the audio was very distinct and i could identify the different people's voices although i was not able to make out the content of their speech (it was a little quiet.) then music began to play: specifically, the songs neutral milk hotel - oh comely and the gerbils - glue. i remember being puzzled about how these songs were playing without me interacting w/ the laptop but i believed they were not hallucinations because the audio was so clear and the songs were so perfectly reproduced -- and after all, i was not dreaming!

i am able to tell that this was a hypnagogic state and not a dream of being in bed because at one point my roommate knocked on my door to tell me that she was leaving for school -- this occured at the appropriate time (around quarter after ten) & i responded appropriately. during the time that the hallucinatory music was playing i decided i should try to get to sleep and so i used some basic relaxation techniques (relaxing the body from the toes to the head).

dreams

the relaxation technique fades into a dream wherein i am sliding down the stairs to the basement of the old townhouse. i repeat this a few times. i am aware that this is a dream and i believe that sliding down the stairs will metaphorically allow me to 'slide' deeper into the dream state as well as 'lower' me into a state of sexual disinhibition. it seems to do both.

i enter into a dream where... well, in the interests of full disclosure, i am an underage (~12-13 y/o) girl partaking in various sex acts with a nondescript college-age boy. the perspective is quite interesting here: i am watching the dream unfold in third person, but i am experiencing the sensations that my dream-self would experience in the depicted situation. i am able to control the dream by willing certain situations to happen.

my dream-self has red hair with bangs and pigtails and green eyes. her outfit changes many times over the course of the dream. the male character has short black hair and glasses; he is tall and thin. the dream varies between realism and an anime-esque style (i very rarely dream in a non-realistic style; i can probably count the number of such dreams i've had on one hand.)

this dream is divided into multiple different scenes. each scene begins with me meeting the boy in his college classroom (large and crowded, with metal walls; he sat near the door) at the end of class. we have to be discreet, as i am underage. after we leave the classroom, the sexual activities ensue. a full description of everything that transpired in this dream would be frankly pornographic, and i have no need to write it all down here as i'll be able to remember it without epistolary assistance. what's important about these scenes is that the sexual sensations i experienced in the dream are far, far more intense than anything i have ever experienced in waking life. i attribute this to a release phenomenon engendered by the downregulation of activity in certain brain structures during REM sleep which causes disinhibition and consequent overexcitation in various other areas; there could also be a psychological component to it. nonetheless it never fails to amaze me when i experience it.

after many "scenes" the sexual dream ends, along with the lucidity. i find myself in a washroom stall, and there is a copy of a manga that contains illustrations of the previous dream on the floor. i am afraid that other people using the washroom will see it on the floor and think i am perverted. i try to find somewhere to hide it but i cannot. later i am wandering through a dark maze of strangely-proportioned washroom stalls, trying to find a normal one: i understand that they are all weirdly shaped because i am in germany.

at some point i find myself atop a large warp pipe from the mario series. i am in the middle of a great sea and i can see a small island close to me. the colours here are somewhat muted/desaturated but still quite pleasing to the eye. i go to the island, which is very small and covered in yellow-brown dead grass; there is a quaint stone hut with a thatched roof here, where there lives a young woman with long blonde hair and a weathered but beautiful face. she wears a simple cotton gown. i gather blackberries and other fruits with her in front of the hut; i understand from the local flora that i am in scandinavia. i also understand that i am inside of the video game animal crossing.

my perspective later becomes detached -- moreso playing a video game than being inside of it. it gets dark and the sea becomes stormy. i understand that the woman is the "lifeguard" of the sea and i decide to drown her as an ironic joke. i pick her up through the game's interface and drop her in the sea, but she will not drown. i do not remember anything else.

----

a lot to analyze here, but i'm far too lazy. it was a pleasant experience nonetheless.

I was really going for the "sand" trick that I used in The Sands of the Colosseum but I never could figure out how to capitalize on it. I need to learn to be a bit more flexible and much less fearful of the dark. Given what I've learned, all of that concern about the dark is nothing but a bad habit. This was a good learning experience though!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #82: Afraid of the Dark

I believe that this was a DILD, but my first memory is of being lucid in a huge, empty office space with plain white walls, harsh fluorescent lighting, and blue-gray industrial carpet. It looks like a place where there'd normally be a cubicle farm, but the floor is totally clear.

I'm happy to be lucid, but I want a new location. I want to perform the "sand trick", which involves focusing on the floor and rubbing it until I'm convinced that my hands are digging through sand. I start crawling around on the floor, find myself a spot, and start rubbing.

Nothing happens at first, so I focus harder on the thought that this is sand. Unfortunately, I'm looking right at industrial carpet and the thought won't go away. Finally a bunch of disgusting dust and dirt puffs up from the carpet and blows around, but it's not what I'm looking for. I try for a while longer but I feel myself becoming obsessed.

I get up and notice a set of doors in a far-off wall. I run over to it, place my hand on the doorknob, and imagine that the Colosseum is on the other side. I throw the doors open and instead of the Colosseum I see a darkened warehouse. I can't see in too far but I do make out a few scattered cardboard boxes.

"Too dark", I think. "Not going in there." I close the door, think about the Colosseum, and open it again. This time the boxes are gone and the room looks even darker.

I give up, close the door, and follow the wall to a closet-like cubby hole. I crawl around in here and again try to produce sand from the carpet. Even though this cubby is set off to the side, the lighting is unbearably harsh and I just produce more puffs of dust, like the carpet needs a good vacuuming. I try to close my eyes but they won't comply. It seems like this office scene is burned into my brain.

I jump to my feet and run around a bit, doing a quick dive-roll just for kicks. I round a corner and find one of my Siberian Huskies locked in a big cage. He whimpers and paws at the door. I fumble around for a latch but don't see anything.



I'm preparing to open the crate via telekenesis when Wife appears from behind me and says, "Oh here, let me take care of that!" I almost tell her that I'm having a lucid dream but I figure that she already knows. She crouches down and starts working the lock. I make the mistake of waiting around and lose lucidity.

The lock pops open and our dog comes bounding out. He runs past us and buries his face into a used-up paint can that's nearby. I look to see what he's doing and am horrified to see that he's happily chowing down on a couple of dead roaches. I'm about to tell him to stop but Wife hugs him around the neck and says, "Oh, such a good boy!!" I feel ill. Still, I decide to let it go because he's probably hungry.

Wife wanders over to a nearby window and I follow her. There are a pair of laser gun emplacements on the window sill. We each take one and she points across the dark city to a tall office building. Wooden boxes float silently out of the office building, flying off to destinations unknown. Wife explains: "Those boxes have dangerous cell phones in them that will give people cancer." We start firing our laser cannons at the evil cell phones, destroying as many boxes as we can. We get most of them but, I'm sorry to say, many get through. The dream ends...

It started a little bit different this time. I'm inside a cafeteria just under a multiple story home and I'm not sure how but, I became lucid when I was facing a set of drinking machines. It's creepy how some of the mantras worked before early this morning. I was laid on my bed, under the sheets and just to give it a try, I whispered to myself, "I'm going to have a lucid dream" a couple of times. I used to never believe they'd work.

Now that I was lucid, I tried to maintain my cool. I didn't want to lose lucidity so fast, so I relaxed and tried not to do anything big at the second. At the time I also thought about being in a actual dream and how amazing it felt knowing my body was still in reality. I escaped the real world to take a break from it and explore a whole new world filled with all of my wishes.

After calming down for a bit I started to try and destroy the world around me. I tend to use my magical powers to destroy things in dreams. It's not really one of my goals to use in dreaming. There was nothing much in this small cafeteria to destroy so I moved up to the higher levels using EcoCityCraft's compass powers.

I decided I wanted to do something in the dream, like steal. I walked down the hall of a nice, cozy suburban home. The rooms were silent. I walked in to a room that was almost empty. To my left was a closet room. I walked towards that area, open the door, and found something to steal. Maybe not so much steal but breaking too. I saw a lot of candy bags on top of the closet shelf. I started grabbing some of them but couldn't tell whether I should rob them or rip the bags apart. It sort of gave me a feeling of excitement.

There was a door behind this area I first walked in to. I made sure it was closed so no one else would walk in. But as soon as that happened, I noticed someone coming. I didn't get a chance to do much, but to fight with baseball bats. Neither of us got hurt, but that's how the dream ended.

I'm walking through an obnoxiously clean, beautiful house. I'm talking Martha Stewart perfect. The kind of perfect that makes you uncomfortable and terrified, because that's when you will suddenly become the most clumsy person in the world and all hell will break loose, your hands being the bringers of destruction. I walk past a long, glass dining room table. Sitting alone at the table is Stiles. As I walk by, he looks up at me and smiles, as if to say everything is alright. That's the feeling I get from him. I smile back at him and continue walking. I walk into a kitchen. There, standing behind a counter top, is an older man. He is really tall and thin. He's wearing a lime green t-shirt. His hair is white and below his waist and he has a big, bushy mustache. I stop in front of him and tell him how much I like his hair. I tell him that it looks just like my dad's hair. He smiles politely and says thank you. He turns away from me for a second and then turns back around to face me again. His hair is now clipped short and neat. His mustache is no longer there. I instantly know that that can't be right. Something is wrong. I start to wonder what could have happened and then I wonder if I did that. But there is no way that his mustache and long hair could just disappear. Then I wake up.

(While small, I believe this is my first experience with lucid dreaming. I became aware, even if only for a short time.)

Dream recall from today's nap, managed to do different method to go into WILD, my usual transition is just waking up in the dream and i was barely able to feel it, but this time i managed to feel some kind of transition more fully.

I am in my bed. Eyes closed. I am going through some unusually heavy HI and at certain point i decide to try and i force myself to sit up while opening eyes and i feel like i am moving different body(dream body) for a second until transition completes and i feel like being one again. I take off headphones and get up, while looking around. Furniture in the room is placed completely differently and there are tons of useless stuff, like if someone with hoarding disorder was there. I rub hands, but dream shortly fades out and i wake up.

First dream was like semi-lucid. I was with a close friend on the roof of a very tall building, standing against the railings of the edge.
We had a very short conversation that i cannot remember. Then one moment i realize that im dreaming and i jump of the building. that was the end of the first dream.

I was in friends home. Something wasn't right. Then suddenly an intruder is my presence, and then i threw a knife at him but it only hit arm. So of run into the other room and grabbed my friends switch blade which i sometimes mess with in real life and the intruder walks in so i repeatedly stab in the upper body. end of dream 2

the other dream was influenced by a game was playing the day before. i was in a town. There was like 2 teams and we had a gun battle in the small abandoned town. We kill them all. Some why i remember that someone in our team also died. the game i was playing was called fallen earth.

I had another dream that i was skateboarding, i have very little memory of it. But i do remember that i was grinding down big rails doing grinds such as boardslides, blunt slides and crooked grinds. it felt really good, i was like whoa ive never done this before

03/31/13

Night of Healing
I am in my room, I am surrounded by Templars. I don't want to deal with Templars right now. I have healing to do. I get out of bed, trying to ignore the energy attacks coming off of them. I open a portal to the moon. I go through the portal to find the healing springs. Nomad is already there. He is making out with Winter. I find it a bit awkward to interrupt. I don't wait for long before they notice me there. I tell them I am there to heal. We all go into the healing springs. The water is warm and comforting. I focus healing energy through both of them. Energy flowing through Nomad's foot and all through Winter's body. After the healing is done for now Winter seems to be in a deep sleep. I ask Nomad about his friend. He says yes, his friend. Needs help with depression. I tell Nomad I'll be glad to do what I can. I tell him he'll have to open the portal to get us there. Nomad opens a portal, and we both go through it. On the other side we are in a very barren place. There is one person in the place, all by himself, surrounded by a cloud of darkness. I see one of his eyes is obstructed by scar tissue. I think maybe that needs healing, too. I focus on the song Full Moonlight from the Devil Hunter Yohko soundtrack. Positive energy forms and flows around Nomad's friend, sweeping some of the shadow away. I focus healing energy on the eye. Nomad is also playing music. The area is filled with healing energy. Soon the song is over, but the healing energy remains. There are forms around the borders of the healing energy field. I approach them. Are they figments of a nightmare? No... they're Templars... What are they doing here? They're attacking me with those energy pulses. I hear voices talking all around me, I can't make out what they are saying. It gets louder and louder, drowning out all other sounds. I think Nomad is trying to talk to me. The attacks are getting stronger, but I am about to wake up. The scene fades to black and I wake up. I have the phrase, "May the father of understanding guide us," repeating over and over in my mind. I am waking slowly as that phrase repeats in my mind. This is a phrase said when someone is initiated into the Templars... why am I thinking it now? Someone is trying to turn me into a Templar? I am thinking that it will not work when I notice the sound has changed some. I now hear my cat meowing loudly. "May the father of understanding MEOW!" I am awakened by my cat meowing to get out of my room.

3/31/13

I'm standing in a ditch/ravine with a friend, Tony. There's somebody else there too. A plane is swooping down and I realize that I'm dreaming. I show off by acting like a wizard. I wave my hands towards Tony and he flys up, I gently put him on the plane as it swoops by. I wave him off the plane again and move him to the other side, I then plop him in a pile of mud and he's not happy about it.

#156 - DEILD Chain - 5:31AM

I am living with my wife in one of the houses I lived in as a child in Smithville, TX. My Aunt Paula shows up at the door with my nephew Samuel. I am totally drunk and working on the furnace. I try to hide the fact that I feel dizzy and hope that I am not slurring my speech to much. I try to avoid eye contact with her and try to stay busy with the screwdriver in my hand.

She walks out of the room I am in and for some reason I follow. I notice my parents old cabinet TV right were it always was in that house and a potted Christmas tree on top. The tree catches my eye and I pause finding it odd and out of place.

I wake briefly and go for DEILD.


I never really exit the void so I start rubbing my hands vigorously. For some reason I can feel my hand are really numb. I wonder if it is my sleeping position that is doing it or if it is a dream sensation. I remember that I felt this before. I decide to ignore it because moving might ruin the dream. The more I rub my hands the less numb they feel. After a few seconds the dream plops me in my dinning room. I am shocked that I didn't have to exit my body and I can see clearly. I stare at the hardwood floor not remember what to do. I float up to the ceiling. I feel that I could control it if I wanted to and I go down a little. I think no lets see where it takes me. I purposely phase through the ceiling backwards and I create an opening more than phase. I see the floor get smaller and smaller and soon I feel the bed on my back and darkness surrounds me again.

I DEILD the same way. There is still some numbness and I shake my hands a little and that seems to help. I go back to hand rubbing.

This time I am plopped at the back door. Again I am pleased that I don't have to OBE exit and open the back door. I pause when I feel some weirdness on my right side of my face. It's like something is pressing on my face and I am only able to see out of my left eye. For some reason I feel scared. I say out loud, "Oh no you don't goddammit". And the feeling goes away.

I bound over the deck without a thought and am in my backyard. I look up and see a beautiful night sky. There are many stars, a few small clouds, I can even see a contrail. I look around some more and see a tiny full moon.

I want to do the Rome task now but the only way I can think to teleport is to feel the sand like I talked about with CL. I realize that I didn't really think this part through before hand. I get down on my knees and feel the ground. It's just grass and leaves. I think no its sand. Still grass and leaves. I try to brush the grass and leaves aside but the grass is rooted. I feel stubborn on this though, I really should give up and try something else. So, I punch down into the earth several times pulling up fists full of sand. But now I become distracted how easy it was the conjure sand and how real it all feels. Even the ground beneath me is unbelievably realistic. I soon wake up.

Again I DEILD. I roll to my back and it takes a little more time and effort this time.

I find myself laying in bed again. This time I feel more in control. Imagine a sliders wormhole above me and it appears. I allow it to suck me up but don't get to see the colorful transition. I am just plopped back in bed. I feel confused but tell myself this has to be an alternate reality.

I sit up and see my wife and some other person standing at the foot of my bed in togas. I am so totally surprised at this that I say, "Toga party!" and laugh. I get up and realize that my bed was in a large cubbyhole of sorts in a huge stone structure. I see a red velvet curtain with gold yellow trimming acting as a partition. It's tied back with a rope made of the same golden yellow material. I walk into the rest of the building and notice its dimly lit. I am excited and think how this has to be it. I realize the L-Dopa is making all of this so easy and I feel confident. I step to the right into the arena. I see the floor is white sand and the sun is so bright that the glare off the sand blinds me a little. I literally have to wait for my eyes to adjust.

As I am standing there I remember the picture I was looking at during my WBTB.
g]

I pretend I have a gladius and shield and stand ready. I hear the crowd cheering and laugh a little because it sounds like the cheering crowd from Pro Wrestling on the NES.

NES Pro Wrestling - YouTube

I try to see the crowd but its like they are shadowed and in darkness. I can't see anything beyond the brightly lit arena. Now I just think of the tiger and sure enough it appears. I ready myself but as I do it does from being a normal tiger to a tiger with an impossible number of teeth to the point that its face is all teeth. While, I am shocked an distracted the tiger lunges and bites my head. All I can see is its tongue and uvula as it munches on my head. It doesn't hurt or seem to do any damage. I almost give up thinking I lost but no I've come this far. I force push him way. The tiger goes soaring straight in front of me and stirs up a dust cloud. I use my Darth Vader grip and pick him up about 30 feet. I think about just ripping him in half while he is in the air and sort of see it in my minds eye. Instead, I slam him down hard creating another dust cloud. I can't see him for the dust but I don't waist anytime.

I hulk jump into the air with my gladius drawn and come down on him like Link does in the Legend of Zelda.



I stab his midsection and quickly jump off and cleanly slice his head off. I raise it up it in air for the crown. I hear another Pro-Wrestling-cheer as I stand there. At this point I lose focus and wake up.

I go ahead and try to DEILD one more time.

I find myself standing in the arena again but there are no people this time. I notice my hands are on fire and I spend some time playing with it. Again I think it must be the L-Dopa. I create a jet of wizard fire like Rand from The Wheel of Time. I do various hand motions turning the fire off and on again. I focus on remembering the feeling and technique for next time when I am not so full of L-Dopa. I soon wake up.
.

There was a lot of detail in these dreams but all of them moved quickly and seemed super short. Although I enjoyed the control, I think I prefer extended play. I had high insomnia and dreamed little until later in the morning. I felt there was a huge REM rebound but was too tired to recall much or get lucid again.

terrible recall tonight

1. i am working on a group project with unfamiliar people. we are in the auditorium of my elementary school. we are on laptops and we are running a program with a neon green and red on black colour scheme. there is some anxiety associated with this dream.

2. i am waiting for the bus in the snow with an unfamiliar girl. the atmosphere is very bleak.

3. i cannot remember anything about this dream except that i became lucid at one point! i simply realized that the circumstances of the situation were unrealistic and deduced that it was a dream. sadly my lucidity faded very quickly -- before i could do anything of interest.

4. false awakening. i am in bed in my room: very tired and disoriented. windows 7 error messages pop up and disappear constantly, obstructing my vision. i wonder if i am dreaming but decide that i am not. i am afraid that i am going insane.

#155 - 4:32AM - DILD/DEILD

I am at work with the M3 bunch. This dream version of work is a repeat thus familiar to me. We all go to break and I hang out with John, Brandon, Hobie, and Frank. After chatting it up with them I start to go back to work but Hobie tells me we are supposed to have a meeting. I sit back down next to Hobie.

As I am sitting there I realize that I am just wearing underwear. I really want at least a shirt on. I look down and I am wearing one of my blue shirts. I feel better and hope that the fact that my boxer briefs at least look a little like shorts. I try to think back were and when I took my pants off. It feels hot here but I can't believe I would just work in my underwear. I tell myself that I want to change my behavior and never do this again. I look over at Hobie and see that he is wearing jean shorts. I want to copy him and I look down again and see that my underwear have changed to jean shorts as well. I feel so relieved that I don't even think much about it.

I notice everyone is watching at TV mounted on a wall so I pay attention. It is some guy going on about cancer and soon I am there next to him. He brings out an emaciated woman who looks mostly skin and bones and talks about her having cancer. She looks familiar to me but I don't bother (Now that I think about it she looks like an ex girlfriend who was having medical issues. I wonder how shes doing now?) Soon she turns into a discolored corpse and the wheelchair takes her way. The speaker emphazies how she died and how horrible death is.

I wonder off while he is still going on about this. As I am examining a video game/ride system with a two person spacecraft. I say to myself, "Death is not the end." I get in the space ship and it closes around me. I want to play with it but think I better now just yet. I say "maybe in the next dream." Then the significance of those two statements seems to fit together. I think how reincarnation always makes me think of lucid dreaming. I become lucid.

Unfortunately, I wake in shitty SP. The vibrations are really strong and I can't move. It takes a lot of effort to touch the floor and transition out of bed. But even then I don't feel as if I am in my house. I just feel like I am running in the void. I try to imagine some scene and a dim image of something I can't remember materializes but breaks apart like glass. All the while I can see light through my eyelids and, for a second, I wonder if the bedroom light is actually on.

After some time I feel like my hands are really in the air so do a nose plug. Yep not real. I hold my hand there for a second and notice how odd my nose feels. Then it's like I can feel my physical body and my dream body at the same time. I move my hand and think I better just focus on my dream body.

I decide to try opening my eyes hoping maybe I am fulling in a dream now. I see the bedroom as it should be and I no longer feel like I am running but moving my legs in bed. I see dark shadows above me but think it looks like my hands. I pick up the pace a little and notice how real it feels but how I don't even see my legs moving. It looks like my hands are just pawing the air in the darkness. I laugh a little on the inside and close my eyes.

I try to transition again. This time I have to peel the blanket of me like its glued to my skin. Then I try moving my legs over the side of the bed but this time my actual physical leg moves and SP is over.

I do a nose plug to be sure and DJ the experience.