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This was by far one of the worst dreams I've had in a long time, if not my whole life.

Part I: Playdate

So it started off very normal, for the most part. Okay, that's a lie.

I was with my father, my brother and this family of two African Americans; one a mid-aged man and who I assume was his very young son. So we're at what I assume was an arcade/restaurant place, though not much eating was going on to be frank. My father seemed very fond of the African American family, and I thought they were alright. I was very young in this dream, no older than 10 years-old. We were all taking turns at playing this jet-ski racing arcade game with the black child, and we were having fun. Every time I stopped playing though, I would go to the bathroom.

Whenever I went into the bathroom, I turned into this humanoid wolf person, like a werewolf except not nearly as gruesome looking, but every time I went to the bathroom, I engaged in some different form of sexual intercourse, ranging from just standard vaginal to blowjobs by two different women at the same time. When it wasn't my turn to play with the kid, I'd sit down on this padded red couch with my brother, who was playing with his kindle a lot. This happened three or four times I think, though I somehow transitioned between this and the next part.

Part II: Grandpa

This is the most tame part of the dream, really.

Recently, I went on vacation to Marina Del Rey with my mother, brother and grandfather, which is what I believe effected this dream.

Much like in the dream, my brother, my grandpa and I spent most of our time eating and talking, though my mother was nowhere to be found, and we most certainly weren't in Marina Del Rey. It was a high class restaurant, the whole room was red. Fancy red walls, silk tablecloths and wall hangings, and red chairs to sit on. We all sat down at one of the middle tables in the back, talking idly to a point where I don't remember what we were really talking about. Soon though, it was time for us to depart, and I had a bad feeling that I'd never see my grandfather again, though I didn't hesitate to even say goodbye to him.

He sent me and my brother a limo to ride us home, though we waited in the parking lot first. He pointed out that we were in the exact location of where a commercial he shot was at--in front of a diner with a Ross' in the background and a bank next to that, the sky filled with stars.

We eventually got into the limo, and we began driving down a street I've never seen before, one with this large apartment complex that was stacked up neatly like blocks, though each one of these apartments was shaped like an individual square and had a large glass window in the front that showed off the whole room, and it consisted of people getting dressed in front of these windows. No one was nude, but half-dressed in some clothing, then some underwear as well. I assumed they were either going to bed or getting ready for work.

Our destination would be our father's house.

Part III: A Father's Abuse and One Odd Wish

We got to my father's house, and my brother came with me, which was odd because my brother would never agree to go to my dad's house after invading his privacy and ruining his social life for years to come once back in high school. We were now about 17 or 18. Things were going fine so far--my brother was playing a game on the PS3 and I was sitting there playing with a Kindle. My dad wanted to check out my Kindle by looking through the images, and I didn't want him seeing some of the more... intimate images I had stored on my device, so I kept turning back the pages as he moved forwards. He was getting mad, and he asked me to stop. I replied with "I have some personal things on there." he said "Then you should show me them." which made no sense to me. I replied with "Things that I don't want you to see." which brought a huge snarl onto his face. He was furious, and got up and yelled at me "What could be so personal that I can't see?" I replied with "You have your privacy and I respect that, so please respect my privacy!" which only made him more mad. He screamed out "GOD DAMMIT!" loudly, turned around, then turned back to me and hit me right in the face.

This made me fall on the floor, dazed at how my father just socked me in the face. He began kicking me violently, his bare feet digging into my stomach with each blow, and I just took it. My brother just kept playing video games, while I slowly and crudely got up. I tried to hit him, though I was so weak and out of energy that he easily dodged it, and pushed me back to the ground. He looked at me and started saying "Really? Really, huh?" and then began bashing my skull into the ground, over and over again. While he did, I couldn't stop thinking "I'm definitely running away to mom's." and then, I bit his foot, dug my fangs deep into them, and I did this over and over again. Eventually, he kicked me off and bashed me in the head again and again.

He said he was going to leave for a bit, and he left me with my brother alone. I couldn't even get up anymore. So exhausted and hurt. I looked at my brother, still playing games, and said "Did you see that? He nearly killed me..." with him replying "Hey, I don't want to say I told you so, but..." and stopped there. I then devised a plan to kill my father, and without any sort of show on how I did it, I murdered my father, and retrieved a... "full diaper" from him. I met this anime-looking girl who wanted the diaper. In my mind, she was a friend, so I gave her the diaper.

What she did next, was something I could have never expected. She opened up the diaper and ate the fecal matter inside of it, or rather, let it sit in her mouth for a bit, then spit it out like water, spraying it everywhere. I wasn't so disgusted in the dream, but I was horrified when I woke up. When she spit it out, she said I had something like one wish, and with my dad dead, I wished that we could go far away, and so we zoomed off in a motorcycle into the Californian sunset.

Later, it zoomed back to the diner, a tall, tan man walking out and two men standing there, looking at him and asking "Is there a Julian Romano here?" he replied with "Oh, yeah. She's in the third room." and then it showed a picture of an old Asian woman, now rich because of the two men. Then I woke up in a bout of daze and shock.

Notes:

This is by far one of the weirdest, most macabre dreams I've had.
When my father was beating me up, I sometimes felt the pain of his hits.
The name Julian Romano doesn't sound familiar at all to me.

Interpretation:

Perhaps, I really do hate my father and love my grandfather. Honestly though, I can't interpret this dream for the life of me.

Old Lucid Dream from 1991 (yeah I still remember it)

My grandfather died IRL in 1991, suddenly. About a month later, I had this dream:
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I was in my grandfather's attic, but it didn't 'look' like his attic. There were boxes everywhere and it looked like someone was moving out. The attic was fairly dark and no light was on - only a bit of natural sunlight from a small, square window. In front of me was an oval standing mirror. You know, those antique looking ones? I faced the mirror and noticed some hats. These were wide brimmed hats with feathers in them. They reminded me of the hats ladies during Victorian times might have worn. I placed one of the hats on my head and as I took it off I saw my grandfather standing behind me on my left. I was startled and turned around, but he was not there.

In a flash, I was outside my grandfather's house now. It was a red brick house with a red cement porch. A sidewalk was in front of his lawn and then a small strip of grass was near the curb. Hunched over, near the curb, with one foot in the street and one foot on the curb, was my grandfather, edging the grass...just like he always did. He looked much younger than when he died but I would recognize him anywhere. My grandfather was always doing yard work. He kept a pristine lawn in real life and apparently in the afterlife too! And here I became somewhat lucid. I realized he was dead and it confused me because he looked so real, and I believe I smelled him too. He straightened at that point, stopped edging with his clippers, and looked at me.

Clear as day he said, "I'm all right. Everything is all right." Then, he hugged me and I woke up.

All I took was some melatonin. This is the kind of thing I dream after taking valerian.

You Monster

I am dangling on some contraption above a platform. I am able to control it, like an elevator. I get uneasy, and lower the thing a bit, because it is swinging back and forth. I am able to get to a point where I can drop onto the platform...

... I have a wife or a girlfriend. I am walking through the living room of my grandparents' house. As I walk by a corner, I see a box in which I know my wife/girlfriend is. One of her legs is sticking out, at a weird position. She crawls out. Earlier, she was beautiful and intelligent. Now she is horribly twisted, and acts like an animal. She has been mutated into a disgusting creature, and I may be as well. We crawl along the floor, on our way to do something. I forget what. I decide I like her even though she is disgusting now, and try to hug and kiss her. Her mouth is gaping and ugly, and she kind of writhes as I hold her.

We crawl out into the sunroom, where my grandfather is sitting. The girl makes eye contact with him, and stares. As she stares at him, she straightens up and looks normal. She tells me that looking into his eyes is curing her.

"Does this affect you at all?" I ask my grandfather.

"It doesn't seem to," he starts to say, but then changes his mind. "Yes, I think it's starting to drain me."

As I look, he begins to lose the life in his eyes, and his speech becomes dull. His eyes change from blue to a weird brownish, lifeless color, like my girlfriend's.

"How do I look?" he asks me. I decide to try some humor.

"You have fangs," I say in a poor attempt at humor. He doesn't look good, and my girlfriend is starting to degenerate.

Fortunately, I wake up here.

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

Oct. 13, 2011
I am on a sidewalk by the street with two other people, a man and a woman. Two ghosts appear. They are the ghosts of the family of the two people. One ghost is the dad of one of the people.
I say "Why can't we see more ghosts?" as I look around.

The girl tells me that I could see the ghost of someone I knew, if I really want to. So I think about seeing my grandfather (my mom's dad) while rubbing the sides of my head.
An orangutan appears. I say "Grandpa was not an orangutan."
He waves at me and I wave back, and he vanishes.

Training Camp

I have started my new job. In my dream, it is either a new job or school. Perhaps it is training for a job. Whatever it is, it involves combat and war. We learn about tanks, and military operations. We are also camped out somewhere, I think.

My grandfather is telling someone about my new job, and how I have made a friend that "I like more than family". I can't think of who that is. The closest person I have to a friend is some guy that I don't even like too much, but is always hanging around me.

The next day (in my dream) I go to training again. I realize that this isn't at all what I thought my job would be, and I don't particularly want to join the military right now. Apparently this has become training for the military, and I may have to sign up for 4 years if I don't leave soon. I think about how much like a dream this is, and what I would do if I were lucid. I think to myself that I'm probably not dreaming, but wonder if perhaps I should just act like I am since it's all so weird anyway.

All this time I am munching on a stick of salami. My "friend" comes over and joins me. I think to myself that he isn't such a bad guy, although I still don't like him more than family.

I realize I have to go to the bathroom. I am now with some girl, and we are talking together. I think for some reason that it will make me look bad if I let her know I have to use the bathroom, so I walk right past one and pretend I don't need to go. We walk to a place where there are some shelves, and things being sold on the shelves. There are a lot of clocks, and one or two little wind up toys. Kind of neat things, really. There are also chocolate covered coffee beans, which show up in the dream and we start munching on.

The girl goes somewhere, and I take the opportunity to stop in the nearest bathroom. The bathroom, like all dream bathrooms, is stupidly designed. It has a screen door, for one thing. There is a bunch of clutter laying around inside, so I find some to prop against the door in an attempt to get some privacy. Then I realize that most of the walls are screen, and I look around at the woods behind me thinking I should have just taken a walk out there where there was more privacy.

When I get out of the bathroom/outhouse thing, the girl comes back with some more candy. I am looking for a place to wash my hands, but for some reason I reach into a bag of candy first. I then think that was probably an unhygenic thing to do, but I figure if I was my hands now it will be OK.

75mg vitamin B6 before bed.

My friend the spy

I am visiting with my brother's fiancee for some reason. As we are visiting, people start chasing us. It turns out that she is some kind of a spy, and there is an organization out to get her. We go running across the rooftops of some city, chased by people who are shooting.

Later on I am discussing this adventure with someone, and reflecting on how I didn't mind running along ledges and other death defying stunts when I was being chased. I also wonder if this girl has a sister that might be single.

Grandfather falling on hard times

My Grandfather has lost a lot of money somehow, and is trying to raise money. Some creepy looking guys show up, and they begin discussing the possibility of him selling the grandkids as slaves. After the creepy guys leave, I make sure that my Grandfather really isn't planning to sell us to them.

I solve a mystery

My family and I are standing outside watching an airplane. The plane is flailing around strangely in the sky, flying way up into the air and then back down. Then it starts to shake, and fall apart. It breaks into pieces, and falls to the ground. Actually, it falls into some kind of water because it creates a small tidal wave that I am concerned will hit us. By the time it reaches us though, it just makes our feet wet.

We are seperated from the airplane crash by a bunch of shelving, or something like that. As I examine all of these things, I (or we) are reminded of something that happened that is in some way related. I crawl under the shelves to examine the wreck (which is now part of a satellite), and poke around looking for bodies, I think. I don't see any, but I do find an electronic device that makes something important click in my mind. I've solved the case! I seem to recall the dream starting to get creepy around now, but when I solve the case everything brigthens and becomes cheerful. I think I become Monk again, or at least I pretend that I am. "I've got it!" I shout behind me. "Here's what happened," I begin, but I don't remember what happened.

Small WILD

I wake up in bed. As I usually do any more, I do a nose pinch RC. I can still breathe which puzzles me at first. But as I realize that I must be dreaming I also seem to become aware that I am waking up, or am awake already and I haven't even pinched my nose. I don't know if this part happened or if it was a false awakening, but I decide to try a WILD from this point. Or maybe it's a DEILD, I forget what the exact technique is here. Anyway, a dream forms around me within seconds. I find myself walking into an electronics store with a friend. I'm not very satisfied with this dream, although I don't know why looking back on it. I try to find ways to anchor myself to the dream. My friend sits down with a sort of Iphone or IPad. I look around, trying to hold on. I can't remember what happens after this.

Church

I show up late to church, and miss choir practice. Or else I got sidetracked once I got to church and didn't make it. I am messing around in the basement doing something, and realize that the service is starting. I decide not to enter through the side door to the sanctuary, since I have to cross to the other side of the room to get to where my family is sitting. I go around another way so as to be more discreet.

Concentration Camp

I am in a concentration camp. It seems to be like an episode of Hogans Heroes, because although I am a prisoner everything seems light hearted. The Germans have a shipment of new machine guns coming in, and we somehow get a hold of one. They are big guns, with ammunition included.

I go into a room where there is a table. We start drinking beer, or something. Some other guy pours the beer onto the table, and we lap it up. Knowing an easier way to drink, somebody makes a groove appear all the way around the table to catch the beer that is poured onto it. There are small resevoirs cut into the table as well.

There is a code of some sort I am trying to crack. Someone says it is related to a message that my Grandfather received 40 years ago. We aren't even quite sure what the message was, but I think it has to do with something weird that someone told him. This person had said a jumble of seemingly random words. I look at the paper with the code on it, which is also a bunch of random words. I try inserting letters from the phrase my Grandfather heard into the message, but I don't get anything meaningful.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I stood out on some covered concrete area, like between the entrances to two buildings that were a part of the same apartment complex. It was a grey day.

I stood out with a young girl who IWL lives in my apartment complex. We may have just come out from a set of sliding glass doors. Now the girl stood with her back against a concrete pillar.

The girl told me she wasn't really allowed to talk to adults anymore. She'd gotten involved with some adult woman who worked as something like an undercover agent for the FBI But the woman had fallen in love with the girl and gotten herself in trouble through distraction.

I saw in my mind's eye that the FBI woman was Latina, a bit overweight, wearing black jeans and a black and red jacket.

So now the girl's dad told the girl that she was no longer allowed to talk to adults. But I figured I could probably talk to the girl anyway. I wasn't planning on falling in love with her.

Dream #2

I was in a living room with a man, probably my brother-in-law, and two of my nephews, who were both babies. My brother-in-law had one of his kids slung up onto his shoulders, and he was saying something like, "Time for a diaper change!"

My brother-in-law walked out with that nephew of mine. The other nephew was still there. I now noticed that he was wearing only a diaper, which was really soggy. I thought my nephew looked a little too old to be wearing diapers.

My nephew jumped off the couch and cried, "Diapers are fun!" He then started crawling around in a skinny space between the coffee table and the TV.

Dream #3

I was at Victoria's Secret, for some reason, getting rung up for something. The items may have been lingerie, or they may have been the black slacks and jackets the Victoria's Secret workers wear.

Dream #4

I was at the end of some area that looked like a huge tunnel. The tunnel was lit up well and had peach-colored walls. It seemed like the area was used for something like a shopping plaza.

I was crouched down at the mouth of the tunnel, possibly with my back to some wooden barricades or police tape. Somebody may have come up behind me and annoyed me. I may have told him to get lost. Another person may have asked me for help with something. I may have given him directions.

Another man now approached me. He was an older, black man. He'd asked me if I'd given the other man advice about how to set up a shop in this area. I said I had. The man seemed to be mad at me. I knew people didn't like it when other people started working here. But the man didn't act too mad.

The man and I may then have stood near his own shop, which was something like a soup shop, set up in a little, wooden shack.

I was walking away. But I was now out on some plaza-like area like between buildings on a college campus. The blue moonlight shone down on the plaza.

The man now came up behind me. He was fatter than he'd been before, and he was wearing a nice, orange shirt and tweed jacket But he was now, apparently, a homeless person with no money. He asked me if I could give him some money. So I gave him some change.

Suddenly there were a whole bunch of old, fat guys pressing up against me, asking me for change. But I didn't have any more change. In fact, I didn't have any more money! I tried to tell the guys this. But they were all mad at me. They told me they'd get me soon.

I was now in some weird space like a house with a huge window looking out over a backyard area. But the backyard area, as the dim, grey morning light revealed it, was actually a huge area of rolling, grassy hills, small, brambly, tangled trees, and shallow, muddy ponds. Up to the right was a tall hill that towered over everything else.

I may have been out earlier in this area. I may have thrown the man over my shoulder and into one of the shallow, muddy ponds. While I had been standing over the pond, I'd heard my old friend R suggest that I just go ahead and kill the man.

I thought there was no way I could kill another person. I wouldn't like to do it, and I could never get away with it. But R told me that I should murder the man. He even had a place where I could bury the body.

I was now crouched down before a different hill, but in the same kind of landscape. I heard Camille Paglia and my friend R talking about how all people are at all different stages of mental development.

Paglia said that people who like a certain poet (or listen to a certain style of music?) are of an "older stage" of mental development, like from Edmund Spenser's time. They aren't as developed, Paglia said, as people with modern minds.

I now either saw or stood near the top of the hill. There was one large spot, maybe ten meters across, where the ground was extremely soft and slimy under the grass, compared to the rest of the rather firm, muddy soil. I knew this without touching or stepping into the spot.

Dream #4

I sat on my knees before a coffee table in a living room. I was all by myself. But suddenly my grandpa and my step-grandma walked in the front door.

I was surprised to see my grandpa: he'd passed away a few years back. But I figured that my step-grandma had done something to make it so my grandpa could come back for a while.

I was also surprised by my grandpa's hair, which was tight and curly. He also had thick sideburns, like lamb's wool.

My step-grandma and grandpa sat down on a couch behind me. I continued to sit facing the coffee table, with my back to the couch. My great grandma may also have come in at some point, sitting in a chair to the left side of the couch.

My step-grandma told me to remain calm about everything, and just to perceive my grandpa being here, without any questions or worries. Getting too worked up would make my grandpa disappear.

I turned my head slowly back and tried to look at my grandpa. But now he looked really weird. I thought at the time that he was back to looking like he did before he died of cancer. But he actually looked a lot different. His eyes were huge, almost popping out of his head. And something about his face was almost plasticky.

I looked away. I thought, If my imagination made my grandpa look like that, then I can imagine him a different way. I'll imagine him when he was young and healthy.

But I was now in a room with my grandma, my grandpa's first wife. My grandma was talking to me about me and my little cousin A, and how the two of us are so special to her.

As my grandma spoke to me, she was playing with two or three cylndrical, but rough, pieces of wood, each about 20cm long and 5cm in diameter. My vision was really focused on these pieces of wood.

One or two of the pieces formed a man's body. The third had a smaller tab at its base, which was supposed to fit into a notch at the mid-point of the man. I thought that my grandma was trying to fit this third piece of wood onto the man as if it were his phallus.

Dream #6

It was early morning, with a clear, blue sky. I was drifting in, along a river, in toward a city, on a small, wooden boat. The river was big, but I was calling it a canal. I knew the city I was drifting in toward was something like a canal city, like Venice. But I may have also thought of it as a university town, like Oxford.

I now drifted up toward the buildings at the edge of the river. The buildings were all massive, beautiful, and made of red brick. The rising sun was just hitting the tops of the buildings, setting them in gold light, against the blue-grey shade.

I knew that a young man would be by soon to come pick me up. He was going to take me to a library, where I would spend some time studying. But I knew the young man was kind of resentful of me, and that he was reluctant even to come pick me up.

I passed toward or under some tallish, stone arch. I thought that it was still early in the morning. So maybe before I went to the library I could pick up a cup of coffee. I was sure there would be a Starbucks somewhere. I may have been thinking of this place as like the Financial District in New York!

I was now with the man in the library. We were in some kind of central spot. The place was massive, with heavy, wood walls. There was a wide balcony formed in a sqaure, looking down to the floors below. There was a staircase just ahead.

I knew the next level down was a quiet area. I may have heard a thin, grey-haired woman with glasses telling me, as if I were already down there, that there was no activity allowed in that area except for quiet study. It sounded perfect to me.

Dream #7

I was walking in the parking lot of a huge shopping center. It was a grey day. I walked past a McDonald's, with the lane for the drive-thru to my left.

Two white girls and a really short black boy came walking up toward me. The boy purposely got in my way, cornering me against the little curb separating the drive-thru lane from the rest of the parking lot.

I twisted my body so I wouldn't hit the little boy. I'd had to move fast -- it seemed like the boy was almost lunging at me. I lost my balance and stumbled into the drive-thru lane.

I looked back at the boy. It seemed like he was pretty amused at himself for what he'd done. People of all ages had done that to me before, and given the same amused look. But I decided this time I wasn't going to let the person get away with it.

So I walked all the way around the McDonald's building, so I could wind up behind the boy and girls. I snuck up on them and pulled the little boy toward me by the back of his shirt.

I thought I was really going to tell the boy off! But I said, "Hey, man, any time you need any help, any time you need me to do anything for you, just let me know, okay?"

M I R A G E

Me And My Family Are In A Car.(In A City,Maybe New Orleans) My Parents Mention Something About Cousins And A Picture Of Their House Is Flashed Several Times(Except,Their House Seems Abandoned,Rustic,And Run Down.)The City Scene Shifts To An Indoor Rollerskating/Wrestling Arena/ Paintball Store.There Are Gym Mats Everywhere.I Am Then Taking Rollerskating Lessons From A Black Male.(I Actually Met This Guy In Real Life At A Local Skatepark ) After Awhile He Says '"Let's Take A Break." The Scene Shifts,The Black Male Is Trying To Sell Me Paintball Gear Or Maybe Rollerskates.Later, We Watch A Wrestling Match Between A Very Buff Woman And 2 Buff Men.Someone Screams And I Look Behind Me.The Wall Is Completely Gone And A Stormy Ocean Has Appeared.Very Gloomy.Lightning Strikes And Then A Huge Tsunami Hits .It Crashes And I'm Blind For A Few Seconds.When I Regain Vision,A King Figure Comes Out Of The Water With Followers.They're Carrying Candles And Chanting.Everyone,Including Myself,Start To Huddle.The Scene Shifts As Were Walking Into A Hilly Forest Area. My Deceased Grandfather Appears And Is Connected To Me By A Harness And Rope .As Everyone Continues To Travel Uphill, My Grandfather Disappears And We All Arrive At A House From One Of My Earlier Dreams.As We Arrive I Begin To Here Very Loud Noises.(Like Chainsaws And Lawnmowers). I See A Truck With Lawncare Equipment.(I Later Discover Once I Wake Up That The Loud Noises I Heard Are From My Mom Using The Blender In The Kitchen)When I Look At The House I See My Grandfather Sitting On The Front Porch Steps ,Smiling.

-End Of Dream-

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in the living room of a really nice apartment, sitting on the couch with a really pretty Indian woman. The couch and floor may have been white. There was an entertainment center just across the floor from the couch.

The woman was showing me something on the screen. The screen was black, but divided into sections by white lines. There may have been six sections. In each section were a few letters and numbers. The screen would occasionally pull down.

The woman was showing me this, but I was actually controlling it, using either a keyboard or a joystick. I realized this was some sort of data processing system that was connected to a company's database. People could work from home, from their TVs, by entering data for this database.

As the woman stood up and walked toward the dining room, off to our left, I told the woman, "I always thought this would be a good idea."

The dining room was gone. A window was in its place. And it was like I was in a house rather than an apartment. The woman was just outside the window. I stood up and walked to the window.

I continued, "In fact, I've always thought working from home would be the way a lot of people worked, eventually. I was thinking of writing a science fiction story about it, where everybody works from home, on their computers."

The woman stood out in an area full of trees. She may have kept moving farther and farther back -- without walking, until she had disappeared in the trees altogether. But I was still talking to her.

I continued, "Everything -- the world, gets greener again. The population rate goes down. But people are happier. So many things are controlled by robots. And a lot of people work from home."

Now I was looking out the window to a normal suburban front yard. Two of my old friends, M (a man) and P (a woman) walked up to the window, which was maybe a meter or so higher than their heads.

M told me he and P were going somewhere. When they were done they'd come back and pick me up to take me to the airport so I could go back home. I was a little panicked. I said that my flight was probably leaving pretty soon. I needed to get to the airport.

M told me not to worry. Besides, M told me, I had some task to take care of, possibly involving a car, and that I wouldn't be able to leave until I took care of that, anyway. M asked me for the car keys so he and P could leave. I gave them to him.

M and P were gone. I walked out of this house through a door opposite the window. I walked through another yard that looked like a front yard and up into the front door of another house. This was my mom's house.

My mom was just inside, sitting at a table in front of the front window. When she saw me she stood up and started walking through the living room. There was a couch set right in the center of the living room. My mom started telling me something. But I can't remember what it was.

Dream #2

I was in a bedroom. The room was dim and blue. I had been listening to some conference call and taking handwritten notes on notebook paper. I may have been at a desk. But now the call was over.

I heared a kind of squeaky-raspy voice from another room. I had been looking off to my left. But now I looked over to my right, to the door of the bedroom. A beige-orange light came from under the crack of the door.

The voice said a few things. Then the person got up, apparently from a room behind me, and left, walking away down the hallway that was just outside the door. I now realized I was sitting on the floor, using a bed as a desk.

I understood that I had left my job. This was the office for my job. For some reason I was back -- maybe just to help out on a short-term project, maybe just for one day.

The guy the squeaky voice had been the guy who'd replaced me. It was 5 PM, and the guy was leaving. This, I thought, was kind of lazy, since there was still a ton of work to do. I thought that maybe I'd impress my boss by staying for a long time tonight.

But, right while I was lost in this thought, my boss burst in the door. I must have looked like I was just doing nothing. My boss rushed up to my bed-desk and began flipping through my notebooks.

I knew I had just taken notes on some conference call. I wanted my boss to see the notes. But now he wasn't finding them. Instead he flipped to a page I'd made of sketches of the famous cartoon character Strongbad.

My boss pointed to one of the drawings and said, "I want to see less of this," as if he thought all I did all day was draw sketches of strongbad. He actually even flipped to another page that was also full of Strongbad sketches!

I was trying to figure out how I could explain this to my boss. I did a lot of work. But sometimes, while I was listening to calls or trying to think through a problem, I'd start sketching.

Dream #3

I was pulling a car I had (when I was in high school!) out of a long driveway for a house set up at the end of a long, gated yard. When I got to the end of the driveway, I had to close the gate. I pulled off to the side of the road and got out of the car. I was also thinking something about the difficulty of driving backward.

When I got out of the car, my sister was there. She told me, "Don't forget, while you're taking care of the car, to wash the back windows. That's really important, and C (one of my old friends) did it all the time."

I told my sister, "I was just planning on doing that once I got home." Apparently I was planning on taking my car back home after visiting my family -- although I was also planning on taking a plane home.

I was now in the living room of a house with my mom, grandpa, and probably some of the other members of my immediate family. My grandpa and mom were standing. My grandpa was getting ready to leave.

I was going back to my car as well. My grandpa was going to drive me. So we left the house together.

It was dark outside. My mom stood in the doorway. We were in a long block full of houses, possibly with some kind of median in the center of the wide road. My grandpa's car was parked halfway up on and off of this median.

My grandpa and I got in the car. My door was still open, and I was holding on to some kind of hard door-strap, as if I were going to pull the door shut.

My grandpa said, "I didn't invite you guys to my house because I didn't know what schemes your mom might have. She could sue me because on of the kids suffocated themselves on the floor or one of the kids suffocated themselves on the ceiling."

I haven't been recording my dreams for a long time, so this one is old and not so vivid.

I was at my grandmother's house and it was night, we were riding on a John Deer Gator around. I'm not sure who we is, I think a female that I was related to. We pulled up to the front gates and got out. My grandpa was coming out to unhook the gate for us. All of a sudden, right in front of us I saw something. I did a double take. A small girl was standing by the fencepost, her pale face was in stark contrast with the night around her. There were dark circles around her eyes that looked as if they were put there deliberately. Her mouth was a straight line with two sharp fangs sticking out. Her hair was black and neat and she had on a gothic dress. A green glow floated in her wake.

Pure terror rent through me. I hurried my grandpa to come. He didn't seem bothered, or maybe he just didn't see it. One of those dream things, you know, when the DCs don't react to anything. I frantically ran to him. Then my family came out of the house, climbing unhurriedly into the car. I jumped in the car, telling them to step on it. I tried to close my door, but a green cloud shrouded my hand and the girl ran alongside the car, holding my door open. I finally forced the door shut, but still, the girl floated by the window until we got onto the highway.

Apparently we were leaving to stay in a hotel. We got in and got a room. Everybody got settled in, but the green glow appeared at the window, then as I watched, the ghostly girl suddenly appeared with her face pressed against the window. I screamed. And woke up.

Oh god, one of those big fears for me is that there will be a ghost in my house and nobody else will see it or believe me. Maybe this is why this was such a memorable dream for me.

I am skipping one massively awesome lucid dream to record this one. The one I'm skipping for the time being I recorded onto audio and will be documented here or elsewhere at a later time. The reason being, it is personal, and it is finally evidence of attempted fulfillment of my lucid task from April 2010: recollection of suppressed dream memories while in a lucid dream.

The following lucid dream occurred without supplements:

I emerged from blackness by opening my cellar door.

I clearly remember seeing the corner of the cellar door appear from darkness as I swung it open into the light of the garage. I stepped out and looked around. It was nearly identical to the way it looked over a decade ago. My grandfathers old brown Cadillac was parked there. I instantly knew "this is a dream!" I thought: this is very realistic and I won't be able to forget this moment.

I decided to fly out of my garage to look for something interesting to get into. With ease I lifted into the air and flew up the stairs. When I reached the door I told myself "Fly through it, this is a dream and I don't need to turn the knob." I flew into the middle and everything just went dark -I didn't emerge from the other side. I backed up and decided to fly under the door instead, which worked with perfect ease.

I flew through the entry hall and under the crack of the front door outside. I zoomed into the air about 15-ft and down the front walkway. When I reached the street I started to head down the block. When I passed my next door neighbors house I paused to think about if I wanted to explore it or not. I decided not to, on account of the fact that I did so in another lucid dream recently (Blackbird Flying).

The house looked inviting and cooler than in real life. There were lots of lights on inside, and some looked futuristic. I noticed my reflection as I started to fly away. It was not human. I appeared to be a wispy tan cloud with two glimmering blue star points of light representing my eyes.

I started to accelerate away from the house when I had an annoying thought... I have "900-things" to get ready for work Monday. I can't just fly away until they are ready... (Things get very hazy and I woke up shortly after this.)

What a disappointment to loose this extreme level of lucidity to anxiety vaguely related to a large work assignment.

Dream #1: I was Clint Eastwood in the old west, and I was an outlaw. I was being taken to prison by wagon. There were numerous men, at least six, well armed to ensure I wouldn't break free. Along a dusty trail my wagon hit a large rock and overturned. The deputy assigned to sit with me was knocked unconsciousness and I manged to get my arms free and take both of his guns.

I made a break for it while the other men were confused. I ran about a quarter of a mile to a large ranch property and soon I was being pursued and shot at. The details get a bit fuzzy at this point, but I began a fairly long series of gun fights with law enforcement. I remember clearly I was using two guns blazing style, and like the old westerns, I never had to reload. I could see my bullets too. They were like tracer rounds and I remember seeing them hit men - blood would erupt - and they would fall.

When I killed one, a white ghost would appear briefly along side of me.

This wasn't alarming, and the ghost would fade out shortly as I moved around to fight another man. When I finally killed the last man, I took to be the sheriff himself, his ghost appeared along side of me and this one spoke to me. The ghosts looked strange. They had a glowing white humanoid form, but their faces were long and formed something like a small elephant trunk. The eyes were large and black. (Nearest thing I can find on the web, although these were all white and not dressed, is the white Spy vs. Spy.)

The sheriff's ghost explained to me that he needed to follow me a ways to a special point that would allow him to cross to the other side. He was not angry with me he noted, and actually welcomed being "freed from his body." I agreed, and I made my way back up the hill to the road the wagon had overturned on.

The specter followed with me the whole way and spoke in a calm friendly tone. We traveled down the path a bit further and came to a hill with a bright beam of sunlight. He said, "Here is where I can crossover." With that remark, he walked into the light and vanished. -Then I woke up.


Dream #2: I was sitting in my living room on the floor. My (passed away) grandfather entered the room and sat down in the big chair. I proceeded to tell him about my Clint Eastwood dream above. I thought it was based on a movie he had done "100-years ago" and my Grandfather just smiled. I said "Well not 100-years ago, but an old western he did placed in that time." My grandfather looked extremely real and friendly. He listened to me explain the whole dream with great interest.

Note: So Dream #2 was a dream in which I explained another dream to a DC. I had been thinking about my Grandfather earlier in the evening and he was a huge fan of westerns which we often watched together when i was young.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a car with my grandfather (who, in waking life, passed away about two years ago). We were in a parking lot. It was night, probably a cold night. I was in the driver's seat, and my grandpa was in the passenger's seat.

My grandfather told me that he had a disease and that he was going to die in a very short time, maybe as short as seven days. I got very sad to think that my grandfather was going to die so soon. What struck me more than the fact that I would miss him was the thought of him standing so close to the complete uncertainty at that moment of death.

I started to cry. I clenched my throat and grit my teeth as I cried, as if I were trying to stifle the cry. But my tears were also very bitter, as if they were somehow electrified.

I now stood outside of and just in front of the car. There were two trees in front of the car. They were right next to each other, possibly crowding into each other. The tree on the right (as I faced the trees) may have been some kind of evergreen tree. The tree on the left was barren of leafs, with a strange, parallel branching, with the final branches sticking out almost perfectly straight. These branches either had big, red buds on them or else something like Christmas lights.

My grandpa was floating up into the barren tree. I may have been holding on to his hand as he floated (or climbed?) higher up into the tree. The tree was something like the way to heaven. So in this sense, my grandpa was already dying. Eventually I had to let go of my grandpa's hand.

Dream #2

I was in a small house like a log cabin in the middle of the woods. The place was crowded with people, all probably "my family." One man in particular, an older, skinny man, lay on a scanty bed, probably wearing long johns or a tank top and old-looking pajama pants.

It was a really cold day and I needed to get somewhere to check on something, possibly some other house that might be in trouble. The house may have been separated from us by a lake, which was frozen now.

I probably would go across the lake by taking some kind of vehicle -- which, now, seems to have been something like a hovercraft and ski-doo mixed together. But to drive the vehicle, I'd need fuel.

All over the room there were these stumps of wood, stood upright, like columns. On top of the stumps there were upside-down lids for metal garbage cans.

The upside-down lids were filled with some kind of substance. This, I understood, was fuel for the vehicle. The fuel was clear and had a kerosene-like quality to it. But it was in a partly frozen state in all the "pans." It was melting from snow-like blocks into the clear liquid state.

I asked the old man if I could use some of the fuel for the vehicle. The old man asked me about the conditions outside. It had to do with something about the level of the snow outside. I'd been outside only a while ago, and I knew that the conditions were bad. I didn't lie to the old man.

The old man said, "Then, no. You can't use any of the snow. You know what kind of danger you'd be putting yourself in. And in weather like this, the ice on that lake is weak. That vehicle would melt right through the ice, and you'd find yourself inside the pond."

Dream #3

I was out walking with one of my old friends. We were up on the crest of a snowy hill. It was a sunny day, and the sky was clear and blue.

To our left were something like footprints. To me they probably seemed like human footprints, even though, now, they seem to me to have been gigantic footprints.

For some reason, these footprints proved that the snow was pristine, virgin snow, untraversed by other people. This was a relief to me, as I had been afraid this whole time that people had already been climbing this hill, and that sooner or later I'd have to deal with a lot of jerks while I was out hiking.

I looked further down the snowy slope to my left. At the base of the hill was a small town. I think I mostly saw one-story houses, probably from the 1960s or 1970s.

Dream #3

I was "talking" (in my head?) with a few of my family members. They had asked me to stay wherever I was for a little more time. I decided that I would.

My family members then told me that as a reward for staying a little while longer, they would also give me a couple final days all to myself and give me a free trip (or free tickets?) to the beach.

At this point I realized I was in Philadelphia. Apparently Philadelphia had this very short stretch of beach, but it was one of the best beaches in the world.

I now saw this beach as if I were flying over it from a couple hundred feet in a helicopter. I saw how short the stretch of beach was. The water into which the beach receeded also looked a bit murky, greenish black, not the kind of water you'd want to swim in. It also seemed like all sides of the beach were bordered by a rather intimidating fence. I saw people on the beach. It didn't look like a very fun place to go. But I kept telling myself, It's a luxury beach, one of the best.

I felt guilty. I didn't know why my family would feel like they needed to give me such an incentive to stay around a little while longer. They should have just been able to feel like they could ask me without having also to give me something.

Dream #5

I was outside in some kind of semi-suburban area that kind of feels to me now like Princeton, New Jersey. I was out in an area of open, wide, rolling lawns. In the distance were some houses and a short, long structure that was something like a church. There was also, somewhere else, a tall, stone statue of a figure like Christ.

There were a few other people in this environment, men, around my age. At some point, some man blew a bugle or made some general call to everybody. This, I told myself, was a "changing of the guard."

Apparently we had all been playing a game where some people were in charge of the other people. At the "changing of the guard," the people in charge were no longer in charge. I don't think anybody would be in charge at that point. Possibly the game would just be over.

At the "changing of the guard," we all had to go to one specific place, at the top of one of the rolling hills of grass. I was heading to that place. But at some point I saw one of the men in charge.

I had to scurry away in some weird way so that the man wouldn't see me. If he saw me, he'd taunt me or hurt me or make me do something embarrassing. He was allowed to do any of these things, because he was still in charge. And even though the "changing of the guard" had been called, if the man didn't know it, he'd still act like he was in charge. And I, for some reason, would still obey like he was in charge.

Now I was at the top of the hill with the same man, who was apparently an old friend of mine. The game was over, and it was now time to relax. My friend had brought some women with him. The women were naked. They were younger than we; I'm not sure how much younger. They were pale white and had pale red-brown hair.

My friend and I were going to have sex with the girls. Before this time, I now noticed, my friend and I had simply been "having sex" by masturbating and then coming onto torn up pieces of styrofome cups. I was still holding a piece of cup that was the base of the cup with just a little bit of the vessel still rising up off of it. The cup was a kind of pale, blue-green color.

I was just getting ready to come into the cup when my friend pointed out a girl to me. She was mine. My friend immediately got busy with another girl, right in front of me.

The girl who was mine kind of looked at me shyly. I felt bad. She kind of seemed afraid of this whole thing. I told her if she didn't want to do anything, we didn't have to. But if she did want to do something, she should lay down on her back.

So the girl lay down on her back. I think she was lying on a soft, colorful, plaid blanket, instead of on the lawn. I was now naked. I lay down on the girl. I had a little trouble getting aroused, even though it felt good to be on the girl. Eventually, though, I did get aroused, and I finally went inside the girl. It felt good. I asked the girl if she felt okay, too.

Dream #6

I had apparently gotten a new phone. I couldn't figure out how to make something on the phone's internet work. I had typed in a number of addresses for sites I wanted to get to. But none of them had worked. At this moment I wanted to get to some site where I could see some info related to my work. But I couldn't get it.

A woman who works as a coordinator for a volunteer event I go to in waking life said she could figure out the phone for me. So I gave her the phone. She's an older woman, kind of tough, but very nice. She's a little stout, with skin tan from always working in the sun. She has grey hair, which, in the dream was, I think, extremely frizzy.

As the woman figured out the phone's internet for me, I suddenly realized that a lot of the sites I had tried to access on my phone had actually been pornographic sites. I was hoping that the woman would just access the site I needed for work and not see any of the pornographic sites.

The woman now said she had figured the phone's internet for me. She seemed happy at first. But then she stopped, a little grossed out by whatever she had seen. She handed the phone back to me and gave me a disappointed look. I knew she had seen a porn site.

I took the phone, wondering what site the woman had seen. The screen had purple lettering on it saying "Daddy's Little Girls." I thought, Oh god, please don't tell me this porn site is what it sounds like. But I knew that it was exactly what it sounded like.

The background showed the side of a house with a pair of some kind of instruments that looked like something related to whatever I was looking for for work purposes. They didn't look like exactly what I was looking for, but I felt like they were close enough.

So I said to the woman, "Oh, there it is! The product I was looking for. That's the only reason I was looking at this site!"

The woman just continued to stare at me with that grossed-out, disappointed look.

I remember being in my room at my dad's house. The front light was on and I was walking around. I think I thought that I should be in bed and not up at that time of night. I just did the nose RC just in case, and I was lucid.

I remember I was still breathing through it for a few seconds like my fingers weren't even there. I turned around and yelled, "Sam, I'm lucidddd!" She came out of nowhere and was like, "Really?"
Now I remember walking towards the little balcony in front of that window. It had turned into a fading space.. and the space inside looked like a foggy sea. I walked towards it and was immediately engulfed inside. I turned back and I think I saw my house, or where I was standing before I went inside.
So I decided to walk a little further through the water. It felt like I was walking on some nets; and there were these little geysers in the water. They weren't hot or anything.

I can't remember if I walked back inside or not but I guess I did. I remember to reality check just to see if I was still lucid. I found Sam again.

I got so excited, and tried to remember my goals. I could hardly remember them, so I tried something new. I closed my eyes and held out my hand. I tried to visualize something, maybe raisins. While I did this, I said to Sam, "Look at my hand." I heard her gasp. I felt the raisins immediately forming into their shape. I opened my eyes and there they were, in my hand.

I was so shocked. This feels amazing! I remember wanting to go in my bathroom and look at myself. But my reflection might have been a bit weird. I told Sam, "Come on, Sam! Let's go downstairs and eat our hearts out! (Cuz you know it's a dream)" She was like, "Wait, I want to try this!" But she couldn't do it. Lol.

I can't remember much after this, but now I remember being in a little cornfield with either my grandfather or some other guy. There were some other "students" there. We were told to collect these little seeds, and I'm not sure why. Sam was with me. I said, "The heck with this. Let's do this." So I held out my hand and imagined those little yellow beige seeds. Once I opened my eyes, they didn't really look like the right seeds. They were more yellow and looked plastic, so I threw them on the ground.