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Here is an excerpt of my dream journal on HealerWagonmaker.wordpress.com...

I went to bed an hour later than usual (11:30pm). A bottle of wine and pizza may have contributed to my state.

I wake up at 3:45am to write:
I am in bed watching an engrossing but creepy documentary. It begins mildly enough, but in the first few minutes it becomes apparent that this is not a pleasant video. There is cerebral violence and profound sadness here. I had put this DVD in to watch while following along with a manuscript, which I had in my hand, and in my own handwriting.

The details of the DVD are hazy now, but there is a lot of strong and dark emotion, and my notes, of course, coincide with that same dark theme. As the DVD plays and I read along intently, Teresa comes in, apparently having been talking to other loved ones outside about me. She is concerned about the content of the DVD and about my state of mind.

I point to a place in the manuscript of significant emotional anguish, and I tell her that I am not ready to let go of these feelings. Besides, I have no choice. It's all here in the script. It's all here in my life. I can't escape it. I realize that the manuscript is my dream journal, and the DVD is a recording of my dreams.

This is a nightmare, the first recalled since I began writing my dream journal. I realize, too, that it is a movie I have seen played before in previous dreams. I am drawn to it. Morbidly riveted, actually.

I want to scream aloud to relieve my soul of the bottled feelings, but in doing so I know it will harm those around me, causing frightful confusion. They would never understand. Teresa leaves the room, sympathetic and understanding. She understands. She always understands. I release a huge silent scream of pain. My spine tingles with ice cold terror. This is a lonely journey, I realize. Sometimes terrifying.

I don't recall my dreams from last night. I kept waking up because my hip hurt, and I have a vague impression that they were related to the pain in my hip, but that's it. I only got ~5 and a half hours of sleep because of a shitty work schedule. My alarm went off and I kept hitting snooze, which I think destroyed my dream recall.

i'm watching a girl's story. there is a gas station on the street. she steals a car? or parks it wrongly in the median. something falls apart--- finally her cheating and her lying caches up with her and the truth is revealed. we learn the truth, she was not supposed to have her car there, probably not supposed to have that car at all. she was selling things from it and making her way, as a ticking time bomb. you could tell she was resigned to her fate, just trying to manage while she could. maybe she had also retended to be a teacher, and all the deception ws being revealed. i think it was only revealed when she died on that street.
i'm with a group of people. watching the story unfold. this other girl has a family. two families come together. something terrible had happened in the past to her family. they had all been murdered by the Dothraki....the new family she was becoming a part of brought her in under their wind to comfort her, to be her new family, and to also honor the pain she came from and to bring some sort of retribution to the past pain and injustice.




Comments: i have watched the Game of Thrones series a ton and read the books, so family, honor and death are parts of that, as well as the Dothraki, the feeling of having a clan, and the loyalty of family.
I am currently with a new baby. At this time of my life, I have reconnected with my mother, grandmother and brother SO much, and have been considering their role in my life, and mine in theirs... how much i really want to be part of their lives, and have them in mine. in one way, it's so nice to feel lke a tight knit family again...and also, it is very unsustainable, and i woke up thinking about how everyone could dies very soon...my grandma is 92 and could go any day. my mother is 65, so she will only see this baby to 20 or 30 years old, at the max. and my brother is very sick, and i don't know if he's gonna start getting better and live a long life, or if he will give up on this round. so, i could be without this clan very soon.

maybe this dream is about me losing my family and having a new one take me in. but it almost feels like the new people taking me in could represent my blood family, because they are taking such good care of me right now, when i feel like i can barely take care of myself, let alone a new life.
it could mean to really appreciate family, and to have loyalty to them while i am part of them. to remember to appreciate them while i have them, because they are mine and i am theirs and we won't be around forvever. but also, i can trust that no matter what the next chapter it, and whatever pain i suffer losing my family, i will have a new life, a new family and be held and have my life continue to be supported by community and tribe.

A giant, disembodied cat paw batted the side of my head while I'm sleeping, and I woke up from surprise. I could swear I saw myself getting hit, and felt the impact.

I think giant disembodied cat knocked the rest of my dreams out of my memory.

Got random lucid during normal sleep, low awareness though, couldn't remember goals and stuff. The part of dream before it though... quite an experience i should say.

Dream 1:

I was playing a game and apparently it was some kind of MMO, i've just created character and had just starting equipment, which was some kind of dagger. I was playing with somebody and he knew a number of things about the game, and i couldn't even figure out the HUD for some reason. We had to fight through various enemies and during looting i've found random dagger, which looked almost exactly like mine, but i've decided to use it instead. It was dealing massive damage to enemies, even more so than any weapon of who i was playing with.
After some more fights we came across a shop, which was still full of enemies. After cleaning it and accidentally cutting shopkeeper a few times, which he ignored due to being mostly invincible NPC, we checked shop itself. I had like 10k ish coins while other player had like 10 million. He bough some stuff and i've bought custom dagger crafting, menu appeared where i could select a few options and elements and then i've got new dagger, it costed 10k though. Testing it on nearby enemies i've found out that it's much weaker than the one i found, then i figured out how to look up stats. Well the dagger i've found had like +250 to attack, of attack base of dagger being 10... Waste of 10k coins.
We went on further and soon reached some sky island/castle area, we went through a few jumping puzzles and soon were in. There were no enemies here and it was kinda empty. I found two big tall areas with spiraling staircases, one of which had sky embedded in it somehow, looked pretty cool.

Dream 2:

I am at home with family and we are talking about some things, that continues for a while until i hear someone announcing something through speaker from a helicopter passing by, it was something about incoming nuke. Everyone but me starts panicking, and then a minute later, i see a huge missile coming, it hits somewhere nearby and there's sound of huge explosion. More people panic, but i just stay and say "Well then... good bye, this world". It starts getting really hot and soon the 'wave' of explosion itself hits. Everything turns into rubble and people burn to bones. My body is in pain and quite burned, but i am apparently still mostly ok. I slowly walk through rubble, still in pain, soon i reach the 'edge' of explosion, which is still exploding, and i jump out of it. Some random person comes and then suddenly i am in a room with lots of tables, there are other people who survived apparently, or something.
Confused for a second, i think, it could be a dream or something, i ask that person and he says something along the line "Only you can know". Yeah ofcourse, i should do reality check, so i do it and look at my hands, they are pretty weird and different number of fingers so yes, this is dream. I try hard to think of what to do but for some reason not much comes to mind... Then thought of dream food comes and i just go 'Well, why not?'. I ask nearby DC to get me some food of his choice, he goes away and i wait for him sitting near table. He comes back with a glass of what looks like milk, i drink a bit but it don't tastes much, i ask DC what's that and he responds with something along the line of "You should know". Then dream quickly fades and i wake up.

Date: September 12, 2013
Technique: MILD & WBTB (failed WILD...I fell asleep)
Total hours: ???

Dreamed I was watching people commit suicide by watching them jump from what looked like a very high wall made up of the biggest rocks I have ever seen. After all had jumped, I somehow found myself at the bottom of the wall on the ground. None of them (and I mean none of them) died. As they rolled their bodies from side to side, they just laid there moaning and groaning in pain. They looked up and saw me standing there and they told me that they wish they could have a second chance and not have done what they have done. I didn't know what to tell them, I didn't know if they could even walk from the horrific jump they had taken...I was sure that they were all paralyzed. They kept wailing from the pain and looking for some type of relief that I couldn't give them. "Oh, how we wish we could start all over!" they cried. Then, all of a sudden, I noticed a stair case was on either side of the wall leading back up to where they had all started their jump from the wall. I told them, "Look! There's a staircase! Go up to that staircase and start all over, whatever you do, DON'T JUMP!" And guess what? That is exactly what they did. One by one, they got up and walked up those stairs and never came back. I made sure to stay at the bottom of the wall, just to make sure that no one jumped again. I waited for awhile until I realized, no one was coming back down that wall...each one had gotten their second chance .

Legend: Dream, Semi-Lucid, Lucid

8-8-2013

Fragment #1:
I'm at some kind of festival place and this girl is dragging me on the ground at a very fast speed.
Fragment #2:
I'm at my house, it's wrecked and old looking. On the inside, i'm having a party, a man is playing mortal combat and i'm eating ice cream.

OP:
I was in some futuristic city. I was with a group. We discovered OP, a rat surgery facility that steals the dreams of young people. In the group, there were my sisters, they wanted me to listen to some sort of music, but i soon met a robot. The robot had AI and was learning from us. It was slowly becoming evil. So i turned myself evil in order to confuse it and it worked, i eventually was able to disable the robot. Then some movie let out and people started running towards me and kicking me.

8-9-2013

Fragment #3:
I'm the band room, testing one of my friends' phone. Then i found out we had to do some sort of assignment which required us to meet new people. I wanted to be lazy so i just decided to use three people someone else brought in. Then this guy brought in the three people he found and i walked over and tried to make a deal with them.

Fragment #4:
I'm on the farm at night. I get knocked down. A person then takes my head and slams it into the ground multiple times. It hurt and i could feel the pain upon awakening.

It was lucid. I found out that I'm dreaming. I was in subway. I saw 2 fighter men in the train. They would hit me. I was fast. So they couldn't hit me. I went upstairs. Looks like metro had infinite floor. Staircase I was very interesting. Staircases were so crowded. All the people were looking at me. I stopped at one of the floors and felt down myself to be killed. (I decided to die in dream to wake up in another dream). After hit to the floor I felt pain and then went somewhere else. Looked like It was an OBE. Then I waked myself up and done a RC. I was awake in real (current) world...

My recall has dropped to a new minimum, although I am consistent with my DJ. No dreams yesterday and last night gave only two small fragments from what I know were big dreams. At least I feel there is much more to them.

• Elite district: I'm in a housing complex. The houses are big and they have huge front yards with massive cars. It feels like some kind of elite district, where the educated and financially successful people live. I walk around and ask the people about their dreams. While they are generally polite, no one really seems amused or interested.
  
  There is a lot more, but all other details are foggy. Nevertheless, it shows me that thinking and talking about dreams is active in me, while I'm dreaming.
  
  
• Knife in dream-shoulder hurts: I'm in a small house with many small rooms. They are like small chambers, where the floor and the ceiling are made of wood. There are also wooden shelves. My mother is there at some point in the fragment.
  
  I'm with my brother. It feels like something bad has happened to either or both of us. I hurt him in the stomach and he slowly stabs a knife into my left shoulder. It hurts a lot, but I don't resist it, because I somehow feel like I deserve it. The whole thing makes me sad, I hug him, while he is lying injured (injured by me(?)) on the ground. I tell him that I love him and that I am really sorry.
  
  My brother was also in my DJ-entries from 2 and 4 nights ago. I have no clue what this means and where it comes from, but this one makes me think. This feels like a small fragment of a bigger dream (which perhaps spans several nights lol).

I was at a park where some sort of event was going on. I remember watching this huge mechanical cheetah move around.

Then it started. That pain I occasionally get when dreaming. It is centered in the back of my head/top of my neck. I started to panic. I ran up to a man that looked like an official at the event. I told him about my pain. He reached around and started rubbing his finger on the back side of my head where the pain was. This was a huge mistake. every time he ran his finger over the spot, my body tensed and stiffened with pain. The pain was so excruciating I couldn't speak to tell him to stop. Finally I managed to whisper out the word, "Stop."

As soon as I did this I slowly started to awaken. The pain lingered. I reached up with my hand (but now realize it was still my dream hand) and touched the spot. There was a soft lump, like a vein or nerve was pushing out from my head. I tried to wake up faster. I knew from past experience that the pain went away when I was fully awake.

It seemed to take forever, but finally the pain was gone, and I was lying in bed so thankful to finally be pain free.

I have always wondered about this phenomenon. It happens regularly, but not too often (maybe once a year). The pain is always the same intense pain in the same place. But it always goes away when I awaken.

12-21-09

I had a super long LD this morning.

I was driving a truck and having problems controlling it (typical dream sign) I finally was coming up to another truck that had some either surf boards or snow boards sticking out the back. I started slamming on the brake, but the truck kept going at a slow roll until it ran into and broke the "boards" on the back of the other truck. I was horrified. But the feeling and situation caused me to become lucid.

I don't remember all the details. I remember flying around a lot. I ended up at my grandparents. I saw that the neighbors had Christmas decorations out front that was 8 reindeer pulling an RV. As I watched it took off flying. I had the momentary thought that they spent way too much money on something that fancy. I flew around some more. I flew across the valley to the mountains on the other side.

At that point I remembered that TOM to find Santa's sleigh. But as I looked around none appeared.

I flew some more (and I really think I was doing things that I have now forgotten)

I do remember feeling pain in my finger and looking down saw it was covered with these little burrs. I tried to pull them out, but they had these really sharp little barbs and they just stuck to my other fingers. I tired to just make them disappear, because I knew this was a dream and that I had the power to do so. But they wanted to stay. So I did the next best thing. I landed on the ground next to a group of ladies and said, I know you all have tweezers with you. Can you pull these out?" They then all pulled out tweezers and quickly pulled them out. I felt pretty good about taking care of that problem so easily and quickly.

I was about to leave when I noticed I had one burr left on my finger. I saw a teenage guy. He had sandy brown hair that curled a bit over his eyes and over his ears. He had blue green eyes and a light sprinkling of freckes across his nose. I went to him and asked him to get it out. He did. I then sudden had this desire to kiss him. So I went to him and started to make out with him. He kissed me back. It was one of those odd kisses and felt "slimey". So I then flew away.

Later I noticed that slimey feeling in my mouth still, and I started spitting out all this green slime. I remember thinking "Oh sick, that is so nasty. Why did my mind have to do that??"

Level of Lucidity: 1
Level of Clarity: 7
Level of Realism: 2
(levels based 0-10, 0-5 being low - good 5-10 being great - extreme)

I was standing in what looked like a barber shop. I looked around and there was another guy in the shop too. He was wearing a white lab coat. I looked to my right and there was a girl laying on a small hospital style bed, and she seemed as if she had just been released from a hospital. Her parents were standing next to her and they were just about to leave. I realized that this place was like an "Under-Ground hospital". Kind of a "Discount Hospital" for people who can't afford to go to the real hospital, and apparently I was an employee there. Suddenly a man rushed through the door and was hollering about how I need to help his daughter right now! I of course only know basic medical stuff from medical reading guides online regarding stitching, CPR, numbing parts of the body after serious injury or dismembered limbs, etc etc.

The man who owned the shop looked at me and said "Fix her up." I nodded and cleared off the table and told the guy to lay her down there. I went into the back and started gathering some things. I grabbed a small bag of basic "Doctor Tools" such as the light you shine into the eye, and such. I brought them out and set them on the ground next to the girl, and quickly walked back through the door. There was a curtain on the door and I walked through it, and got tangled up in the extra long curtain. I struggled with it for a minute and then finally got free. I knew that I knew this place, but I wasn't sure where anything was. I looked down behind the curtain and there was a table with all sorts of toolbelts that doctors would use and other medicines and stuff. I was looking for a stethoscope in specific so that I could start off getting her blood pressure.



I realized I didn't have a watch and started looking for one of those. I couldn't find one and realized I was starting to make me and the shop look like a very unprofessional place. I went back to where the others were and sat by them. I put the stethoscope ear plugs up to my ears, and had started removing the girls jacket and shirt. I put the end of the stethoscope to the girls chest. I started taking her heart beat per minute. I didn't have a watch but somehow I just knew. (Dream logic. Ftw.)

I tossed the stethoscope aside and looked at the girls arm, where there was obviously a major issue. There was a giant hole in the girls arm and it was extremely cut and there was blood coming out of it and it needed it be stitched ASAP. I quickly grabbed a needle that was pre-loaded with a numbing medicine. I injected it into the girls arm and then found the stitches and stitching material. I was about to stitch the girls arm up and then decided to take pictures of the girl arm first in case anything went wrong and we had to take her to the real ER. I grabbed the medical tool belt I picked up earlier and shuffled through it trying to find a camera. There was a futuristic sort of screen with a small camera lens on the front. I grabbed it and started taking pictures of the girls wounds. She was clearly in severe pain.

After I took pictures of the girls wounds I looked at the dad who seemed to be a well-off man. I questioned to myself "Why would he be coming here instead of just taking her to a real ER?"

I looked to the dad and told him "I've done just the basics and she should hold out for a bit, but that she needs to get to a trained staff where they have several surgeons and she needs to get the proper medical treatment."

The dad nodded and sighed reluctantly and then picked the girl up in his arms and started walking out the door. I noticed she had a mother with her too which hadn't been there before. I then awoke.

It's weird. After I started writing in this, I began to forget my dreams, rather than remembering them.

Part I: The Sinking Ship

I was at some sort of dock with a bunch of my friends and classmates I had met in previous years. I didn't really remember why we were there, but I could only assume it was a field trip or something of the sort. Still, as we waited at the docks, we soon saw a ship come in to port. It was a yacht, essentially, though it was still a bit small. Nonetheless, it could fit all the students as well as a few chaperons.

It was night, a lot of stars out as I idly chatted with some of the boat goers. It seemed almost peaceful, and we had no destination. We were doing just fine, until suddenly, the ship hit something. Something... invisible. Yes, we were now going to sink right into the dark, cold ocean.

The boat was beginning to submerge, I was near my brother, sliding down the sloped surface of the wooden floor, and as the ship peaked upwards, I look to my brother and said "Now we have submerged." and right after that, the ship fell under the water, which woke me up.

Part II: The Blood-Thirsty Doctor

After the whole ship incident, it seemed as though we never hit anything, and the ship was not only fully repaired and functional, but also even bigger than it was before. Now, the ship had about three floors. I went up to the captain's deck with a few other people, and we idly talked again, though out of complete nowhere, a girl with a white t-shirt and black underwear came in with a shotgun, shooting for no reason.

I pulled up a table and flipped it over, hiding behind it and dodging most of the shots, though eventually a few bullets got into my leg. The pain that came from that felt like a really bad cramp, which was more just uncomfortable than it was painful, but it was strange how it worked like that. The shooter disappeared, and I was soon in a hospital-like room, laying on a bed as a nurse came by. She gave me a few shots, which coincidentally numbed the pain a bit. The pain didn't just go away, I literally couldn't feel my legs! After that though, she just went crazy, stabbing me with the same syringe like she was brutally stabbing me with a knife. I didn't feel any of it, but I could hear the beeping from the Heart-Rate Monitor starting to beep faster and faster, my vitals dropping rather quickly, and the pain starting to come back. As I began to flat-line, I slowly woke up, until I was fully awake, as if my death had awoken me.

Notes:

I knew a lot of my classmates on the ship.
The water didn't feel like anything when we fell in it.
That pain was truly a bit of a shocker when I woke up, because I really did have bad leg-cramps in the morning.

Interpretation:

I've been rather social as of late. Perhaps, I'm being warned that I should expect the unexpected from people.

extremely fitful, disordered sleep. probably withdrawal from desvenfalaxine 100mg + other health issues. surreal and vivid imagery tonight. fell asleep for 1st time around 11pm, woke up every hour or so until ~3am, woke up at 7ish and fell back into fitful sleep until mid-afternoon

around 11-12pm
i am upstairs in a version of my house. i realize that my house looks different and suspect i am dreaming, so i do a reality check (breathing through plugged nose). it succeeds and i become lucid. i run outside (it is sunny and beautiful) and begin rubbing my hands together to stabilize the dream. unfortunately, it fades quickly and i wake up.


i had other dreams during the night but i do not remember them.

6-7 am
the entirety of this dream takes place downtown. the atmosphere is somewhat bleak - it's grey and snowy - but the sun is out.

first i am having a debate with Richard Dawkins and a Christian theologist in a parking lot. the debate is on the subject of marxism. many people are watching from the main part of downtown, which is several miles away; the geometry in this scene doesn't make very much sense. dawkins keeps attaching balloons to himself and floating miles into the air, carrying his debate on from the sky. at times it becomes night; the sky turns deep blue and stars come out. i complain to a friend that i can't hear dawkins from up there and she chastises me, saying i should pay more attention.

next there is a new attraction downtown: a massive tower which houses a gigantic transparent tube. you enter the tube and it shoots you up to the top of the tower, then back down. my boyfriend decides to try it. a team of middle-aged women in black uniforms pack him into the tube and i watch as he jets into the air then falls down at an astonishing speed. afterwards he mentions something about "astronaut MILFs".

then i sit down at an outdoor table where a group of unfamiliar people are eating. they arent bothered by my presence, surprisingly. i pick up a menu: some of it is in english, some of it in the Cyrillic alphabet. i decide that the cyrillic language is lithuanian (does lithuanian use cyrillic? i don't know... anyway...) i have no money to order food but the people let me eat some of their food. it tastes delicious: savoury and sweet. the dishes were primarily meat-based. at one point the restaurant owner comes over and asks me if i have any questions. i cannot reply because my mouth is full of food, but i point to an item on the Cyrillic menu for which no price is listed. she explains that this is an entire roast pig and due to the quality of the meat and the preparation time it costs around 900 dollars. she gives me a meatball from it as a sample. it tastes nice. there is a tripadvisor rating in the window of the restaurant: 5.0/10.

later i am walking through downtown with my red-haired imaginary friend from a previous dream. i complain that i am sick. she tells me i probably have problems with my liver and i disagree with some recondite explanation involving the amount of water in my body. as i discuss water the windows of an adjacent skyscraper seem to turn to segmented/striated bodies of water.

finally i am walking behind two men and overhearing their conversation. they are talking about a man who was found murdered in a dilapidated house. an old woman found him, rebuilt the house and made it amazingly beautiful, but she had left his corpse in its original position. these men had been hired to clean corpse secretions off of the furniture so the house could be sold.


9-10 am
i am in a large, disorganized country house in which the dominant hue is deep yellow. several teenage boys live here. at some point i begin writing a short story about living in this place. as i write the story, by narrating it in my head, the scenes play out in my vision.

the opening scene is rendered in Poser-style primitive CGI. a generic model of a man -- hairless, no identifiable facial features, no genitalia -- jerks around erratically within a cubic matrix formed by grey rods which connect red, yellow and blue spheres to each other (think of a 3d molecular model). the background is blank white. there is a soundtrack of erratic, metallic electronic music, something like aphex twin, but more aggressive.

the next scene takes place within the country home and involves the boys. i cannot remember specific events, besides one where a boy accidentally burned my arm with a cigarette and i punched him in the face, but i recall that this scene was very long and involved a great deal of violence + homoeroticism.

the final scene is staged in a massive, darkened room. there are two glowing crystals here, one green and one blue; i understand that these represent Zeus and Hera. one of the boys is here too, floating naked in midair and dwarfed by the dimensions of the room. the crystal discuss various things. at one point a thunderbolt strikes. there is no definitive conclusion to this scene.

the story replays over and over in my head, at least 5 times, in the perseverative manner of some fever dreams. i am very proud of the story i have written -- to me it seems to address lofty, complex themes and it takes me on an emotional journey; i recall being impressed by the complex syntax and clever wordplay of my writing. my story, i believe, transgresses and deconstructs the entire institution of contemporary western literature...

in another dream i am at a swimming contest of some sort. i need id to enter the changing rooms and i do not have id. i try to sneak in through the back door, and i succeed, but i become lost in the maze of changing rooms: there are dozens of different rooms, separated by ages as well as by gender. i eventually find the correct one. i get changed, go into the pool and begin the contest which apparently involves me tackling people while demanding they tell me what subgenre a random metal band belongs to.

the winners of the contest are me & my friend M.M. the prizes are books -- a compilation of Hesse's Siddhartha & Steppenwolf and some imaginary tome of Faulkner's. (my subconscious loves namedropping, apparently.) M. chooses the Hesse book and I am a bit disappointed because I had wanted it (in real life i would have preferred faulkner!). i look inside the Faulkner book and there is a picture of a beautiful blue-walled estate with exquisite Gothic architecture, which takes up the majority of a small island. i am awed at its beauty. this is Faulkner's home, I understand; the island has some absurdly long and comically French name.

dreams tonight were very mundane, can't recall much of them

i had a very long dream about being in a public outdoor swimming pool. there was a girl there who was making sexual advances on me, and later an autistic boy who was trying to show me pictures of a tv show or something? also a blonde guy who i think was antagonizing me. at one point i sustained an injury to my leg and i was afraid that the pool water would infect my open wounds.

then i was at school. the entirety of this dream took place in one room, with grey floors, white walls and harsh fluorescent lighting. a tall middle-aged woman with red hair, ostensibly a teacher, was berating me for not finishing an assignment.

finally i was walking through a distorted version of downtown with two rappers. they were talking about their lives and i found it very inspiring although i can no longer remember what they said. the weather was dreary: overcast & slushy. we walked together for a long time; at one point i became separated from them and was attacked by a group of kids who threw rocks at me from across the street. it was painful. one rock was very large and hit me on the head; in the dream i could feel my consciousness slipping away and my body collapsing. i came close to fainting but i recovered. after that they left me alone and i regrouped with the rappers.

then we parted and i was sitting in deep, fresh snow on the side of the street. i was with some other people & we were telling jokes and laughing with each other.