All DJ Entries

I was at a school function and everyone was there. Harrison Hogan punched me as a joke or said something that made me mad so I slapped him in the shoulder hard a few times but one got him in the face. He poured Gatorade on me and I tried to punch him hard but missed and then I cursed at him really loud and everyone heard and I got really worried and upset. Because of the disruption everyone started to leave and one kid I recognized from school ran up to me and did a leprechaun jump where you click your heels together and ran away I tried to hit him but missed.

Legend: Non-Lucid , Semi-Lucid , Lucid

Desert Travel:
I'm on a school bus traveling through a desert. Eventually, the bus stops at a house. The surroundings are now grassy planes. I walk into the house and i see two english teachers from my school. They are having some sort of competition for christmas in which they craft and build things. I then walk out back and notice a barn. As i get close, bees start to swarm at me.

RustZ:
I'm playing rust and i spawn on a hill with some basic weapons. People start shooting at me so i run down into a valley and find out i have reinforcements. However, i quickly die and respawn as a sniper. I go back up to the hill and spot enemies. I attempt to snipe a couple but i miss all of them and then a person comes up from behind me. I turn around and try to get out my smg but I wasn't fast enough. I die again. This time, i respawn with a kit that allows me to quickly craft a hatchet and other items. After crafting them, i start walking over to a nearby structure and the dream ends.

Call of Counter Strike:
Another dream that mixes two games, all in one night, wow. In this dream, two teams are playing deathmatch in a suburb at night. The game mechanics are a mix of call of duty and counter strike. One team is represented by swat models and the other team looks like spongebob. We all start with water guns and we play that way for two rounds. On the third round, i end up being the last person left and i find a lockpick gun which works by sending out multiple high damage rays which break downs doors. It doesn't really pick locks but it works. The other team starts hunting me down and i run into a house and pick up a famas. I use it to shoot people who enter the house but it doesn't take down all of them. I run down a hallway and wait for the remaining people. As they get close, i turn the corner and blast them with the lock pick gun.

The only other thing i remember from this dream is that in another round, i'm the last one left on my team, however, the other team only has one person left. I don't have any guns so i craft a piece of hardware that release a chemical that puts enemies to sleep and teleports me after the threat is taken care of. I hastily make it and it works as the other team's player gets close to me.

Legend: Non-Lucid , Semi-Lucid , Lucid

Underground Church Infiltration:
My sister is trapped in an underground church. Me and a friend make our way down there. As we enter the cavern, it's massive and lit up by underground lava flowing below us. There are monsters patrolling along the church and there's a group of them at another structure by the church. My friend goes into a nearby room and does something. Either he's collecting information or just being afraid and hiding. I make my way into the church. I run in with two swords and aggro the first demon ( the format of the dream switched to dark souls style, which is a video game ). I get killed and make another attempt. This time, i have a long cable and i end up choking someone with it. This is all i can remember of this dream.

Next dream, I'm at my school, we're playing some sort of game. I have a blowpipe and i'm shooting other students which become "infected" once they get shot. I then befriend a guy that tries to fight me. And finally, this dream ends with me watching some sort of video in the principals office. After this dream, i have some fragment about me killing Xenomorphs.

4 dreams, that were Lucid. First, was on the stairs at my home. Peering over the couch, I saw my mom and another person. Checked my hands, became Lucid. Mom and person tried to tell me I was not dreaming. Also, the dream was very real. Changed numbers on TV...? Woke up, did IILD. Was in my school courtyard. Lots of kids on the commons. Looked at hands, became Lucid. Woke up. Next lucid, IILD. Came into dream conscious. Walked down a very dark path, in a green room? Ran into a family who lived there? Woke up, did IILD one more time. Remember being Lucid, but not the dream itself.

Updated dream signs: School, unknown person, numbers changing, struggle, Dim, Courtyard

Fragment 1:
This one is a little bit hazier, happened at the start of REM. I was in a school, in a giant lecture hall. The professor was acting drunk so everybody started to get up and leave. He finally gave up so I got up and left too. I went upstairs where I met one of my buddies, we were apparently part of a secret organization whose mission it was to infiltrate and reveal the mysterious happenings of this school. He told me to pretend that I was a janitor so I went into a classroom that had just ended, wearing a blue jumpsuit. I started cleaning the room, looking for information and I noticed that I was covered in ants, they were everywhere. I poured water on myself to get them off. I noticed a giant hole in the wall that they were coming through so I picked up a hose and started spraying the ants coming out. The ants just got bigger and started pushing against the water stream. They eventually broke in and I left the room. Outside, a couple of teachers were talking to each other about how horrible their teaching conditions are. I listened from around a corner. That's the last part I remember.

Fragment 2:

I was in the living room with a bunch of friends, just talking. One of those friends just happened to be Hayden Panettiere and another was this beautiful blonde girl. I became spontaneously lucid. The beautiful blonde girl was flirting with some guy so I moved him away from her with my mind and touched his face, transforming it into something much less appealing. Everybody started to leave and I told the two girls to each go to separate rooms and that I would get to both of them. I went to the beautiful blonde girl's room first and we started making out. After a little foreplay, she took off her clothes and I felt her pussy. The dream started to get blurry, so I stabilized (ommmm). She instantly turned into a little cat. Damnit. I tried to visualize her turning back into a human, didn't work and the dream started to destabilize again so I stopped.

I decided to go to Hayden's room, but there was nobody there. Just two open windows. I said to the dream, Hayden Panettiere come here! Nothing, so I went outside and my sister was there holding a platter of salmon. She said that her friend worked at a storage house for the best salmon in the world. I tasted it and it was amazing, definitely better than any salmon I've ever had. Focusing too much on the amazing taste started to destabilize the dream, so I stabilized again. I went back inside, looked out the window and said again to the dream, Hayden Panettiere come here! I saw her driving towards the house in a purple SUV. She drove on the lawn, got out of the car, came towards the window and started coming inside. I had the split second thought of oh man, is she going to turn into a cat too? She didn't have time to because I woke up.

Fragment 3:
I was at a barbeque at a worn-down park. I became spontaneously lucid again while talking to a gorgeous thai girl from high school. I made a little piece of grass fly through the air, then I thought that it might be interesting to eat something again. I saw two options, a big pile of poop or some grass. I chose to eat the grass and it tasted just like grass too, not too exciting. I started kissing the girl from high school. She took off her shirt and pants and I started to finger her. Dream got blurry, so I had to stabilize. We got up on a car and started having sex with her on top, while I played with her pussy. My dick fell out and wouldn't fit back in, it was too big for some reason. I tried to get it back in for awhile but it just wouldn't fit, then the dream ended and I started to wake up. I DEILD'd back in.

Dream 1:
I was in a dorm and I was determined to get some sort of satisfactory experience. I looked around for a cute girl and found one room with a sign outside that said guy and girl. I made the door burst open with my mind and I took control of the guy. I made him leave and I started to undress the girl. She said to me, "No, don't do it I'm a guy!" I refused to believe her being that she was so cute and I really wanted her to be a girl, but sure enough her penis was larger than mine. I tried to turn it into a vagina, but it wouldn't work, then the dream ended again. I DEILD'd back in once more.

Dream 2:
This time, I was in a sunroom, looking at someone's backyard. A bunch of people came into the backyard with liquor and food, laughing. I opened the screendoor with my mind and went outside to join them. Dream already was getting blurry and I could feel adrenaline, signifying the end of my REM cycle so I stabilized by rubbing my hands together and looking around. I asked the people what they were doing here, they all said, "Orgy!" I thought, yes....finally!!!! One of the girls bent over a table and pulled down her pants for me. She looked just like a super model, but she was a little too skinny for me, oh well. We started having sex and I looked around for a pie that I saw someone lay down earlier, but I couldn't see it. I saw one girl holding a green apple and I told her to give it to me, but she wouldn't. I made it fly to me and she told me, "I can't give you the apple, I already ate it.." What a dirty little liar. I took a big bite of the apple and it tasted very bland. I took another bite anyways. Dream got blurry again and I tried to stabilize, didn't work this time. Dream ended and I woke up.

Dream 1:
I was back in that same classroom as my previous dreams, I had entered a class late in the semester. I had no idea what was going on and I was late to class, so everybody was taking a test on something that I was supposed to know about. I actually did know a lot of the answers for some reason (it was related to biochemistry and physical chemistry). I only had completed 5/10 pages by the time everybody started to finish their tests. Woke up.

fragment 1:
I don't remember the beginning of this dream, I just remember that I was on a beach and my old best friend was there. I became lucid and started talking to him. He wanted me to show him some dream powers, so I turned him into a dolphin. He started swimming in the ocean and he loved it, he was laughing like a maniac, and with such glee. I went off to start an RPG and I expected him to keep up. Was kind of a lame RPG, honestly. I was supposed to find these bottles with secret letters in them along the beach and bring them to some NPCs to continue the plot. I did that and my old dolphin-buddy eventually caught up to me. While the NPCs were acting out some dramatic scene, I noticed my buddy was having more fun, so I thought I would turn myself into a dolphin as well. I started to transform, got the tail and the flippers, but then a mega-dolphin with a huge horn on its head came out of the ocean and scared the shit out of me. Both of us turned full human and ran to the shore. I don't remember part of it here, but we eventually got into this giant building with no roof. There was a low-cloud sky right above us. My friend took off flying into the clouds, I followed him. I noticed a giant hand of Zeus reaching down through the clouds. Reminded me of that Michelangelo painting on the sistine chapel ceiling, so I went over to touch it and suddenly lightning started coming out of the fingertips. Changed my mind pretty quickly. The clouds started to turn stormy, mass amounts of funnel clouds started forming. I knew that I didn't want tornadoes everywhere, that didn't sound like too much fun. So I turned the entire sky into an enormous ceiling, and each funnel cloud turned into a chandelier.

I went to the 2nd floor of this building and there were a lot of my old, dead relatives hanging out up there with my old best friend. I started hanging out with them too, talking about stuff. Eventually my grandma that died about 20 years ago told me to come over, she looked at all the cuts and scrapes on my hands and wrists and told me that these were signs of the devil. Okay grandma . Then the dream ended, I tried to DEILD, I managed to do it but I don't remember what I did. Had a false awakening, wrote down the dream. Woke up for real, was disappointed that I had to write it all down again.

Dream 2:
I was back in that school again. The class had ended and I left out the front door. I lit up a smoke and some professor came up behind me acting all uppity and asked me for my name (smoking is banned on campus). I told him, "Hey man, I don't go to school here". He pointed to my backpack and I just walked away. He threatened to expel me and I just ignored him as he followed me. He was hanging out by all the cars, waiting for me to get in so he could take down my license plate # down no doubt, so I walked right by it. I wandered around the town for awhile until I decided it was time to go check if he was still there. I flirted with a couple girls on the way back. When I got there he was still waiting by the cars, of course. He saw me and started following me, I pulled out my phone to record him. He followed me off campus and then cut me and ran away, what a weirdo. I started walking back to my car and this gay guy started being all mean and discriminatory towards me, so I gave him a big hug filled with love and we walked down the street as buddies. I forgot about the car entirely and went into some restaurant. I sat down at a table and everybody was being racist towards me, I don't know why! I'm a white male, so I am part of the population that is almost never confronted by discrimination. It made me kind of sad to think about how many people experienced that kind of treatment on a daily basis. Then I woke up.

I forgot to do a dream journal yesterday on here but I still recorded it in my physical dream journal, so I am just going to include two nights in one entry. I've been going to sleep very early and waking up early, not sure if this is good or bad, seems to be good so far. I love waking up early.

Yesterday night: 1 Dream recorded

I was inside a school. The school did not cover much land but had many floors leading up and up way into the sky. Near the top of the school was a transparent bridge. The bridge appeared to be made out of light or some see-through material. I went inside the school and I had no intention of doing any sort of school-related activity. In the dream I went to various parts of the school on various floors and would jump out the windows for fun. There was some sort of area surrounding the school-tower where trees were planted and had terraces of dirt. So after I jumped out the window I would look for a jump short enough where I would not kill myself jumping down. In the back of my mind I thought it was a video game and I would just "respawn" if I slipped up and killed myself jumping out of the windows.

One jump was more memorable than the other times. There was a steel door blocking access to the window. There was an obese woman on my side of the steel door and I started spraying her with a water gun. I was trying to make her open the window. Eventually a girl I know named Meghan W. opens the door from the other side. I run through and jump out the window before I get in trouble for spraying some lady with a water gun.

Last night: 2 dreams recorded

I dreamt I was in some sort of indoor amusement park. I was with my friends and family. We walked down this staircase into this scary museum kind of thing. There was a stall where they were advertising this brand new computer. When you pressed this bright button on the top of the keyboard, the computer went ultra fast. I forgot the name of the computer or the name of the button. My cousin Alyssa started making out with this guy right in front of me as we were leaving. I walked up behind this group of people taking a picture and attempted to photobomb the picture. As I was making a weird face a deep, extremely loud demonic voice rumbled the entire room. I was scared out of my mind at first and the people in front of me began to turn around. I tried to pretend it was my voice for a few seconds but it didn't work. At this point I woke up.

I went back to sleep and my next dream was a very life-like version of GTA5. At some point we were trying to guide this 18 wheeler truck to a certain destination with a motorcycle. At one intersection the truck scraped by many cars and caused massive damage. Me and another person where blocked a lot when we were riding on the motorcycle. The next part I remember is going up this elevator with another person attached to a humongous tree. The tree was larger than any building ever constructed, wider and taller. when we got off the elevator it appeared as though we were on top of a building in the middle of a city and some guy in a suit and sunglasses next to a helicopter with the blades spinning was waiting for us. I woke up after this part.

Dream 1 : [COLOR="#800080"]I am on a mountain with a lot of people. We're bicycling. We decide to split into two teams and one of the team goes to the top and the other one goes down(I'm in the team that goes to the top). I go up a bit and realise I forgot something from a guy that is in the other team. Accidentally, I fall from the mountain right near that guy. He gives me a backpack and then we decide to get back into one team and we start bicycling to the top.[/COLOR]
Dream 2 : [COLOR="#800080"]I'm in my bed and I decide to check if someone interesting was on kvirc because I was bored. When I go on the computer there's new chat room in there(Orangeish color). I see Hathor28 and she keeps writing stuff I don't remember.I start talking with her and she says that she can't sleep.[/COLOR]
Dream 3 : [COLOR="#800080"] I'm in my room and there's a ghost that keeps following me. The ghost says I have some powers and it tries to teach me them. I try telekinesis and I have A BIT of success at it. That bit was the ghost moving things, not me. The dream skips at a burned mansion and there are other people trying to learn magic and stuff. We fight a lot of monsters but we still lose. This girl with black hair and grey eyes (and a niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice armor) does some weird movements with her hands and gives all of her power to this guy near her. She dies and the power goes to the guy and he starts doing weird parkour stuff and kills all the monsters.[/COLOR]
Dream 4 : [COLOR="#800080"]I'm in school and everyone gets an armor to role-play. Me and my classmates run to our classroom and start roleplaying. Everyone talks with each other but when I try to talk with someone I get totally ignored. We go and sit in our seats and wait for the teacher. Eventually, the teacher comes and puts a guy from our class at the blackboard for resolving a math problem. I stand up and tell the teacher that what he is doing on the blackboard is wrong and I run there. I stand near the blackboard realising that I actually know nothing and I start laughing. [/COLOR]
Dream 5 (fragment) : [COLOR="#800080"]Something about my profile picture getting cut.[/COLOR]

Did an unsuccesful WBTB before.

Had one very strange dream;

So I was outside my school (again) and I met my sister. Apparently our schoolyard had changed into a gigantic amusement park. The colours of the dream were very vivid. I had some kind of microphone with me and I was interviewing everyone I met. I don't really remembered what she said. At this point I thought how awesome it would be to be in a LD. (man, so close). I then proceeded to search something to drink - without really being thirsty.
I encountered a lot of teachers on my way wich made me uncomfortable.
Right at the end of the dream I realised being in a dream. But after trying to do a few things like flying, jumping around or summon a DC, (all of those failed) I woke up - forgetting yet again to try DEILD..

That's all I can remember now.

I remember(ed) 3 dreams today: 2 normal ones and 1 LD;

Here is the second of the normal dreams:

After class, I wanted to leave school.
Only problem is I had to go past the janitor, who strangely controlled everyone like they do in airports.
The thing is I didn't have my passport with me, which was needed.
At this point I really panicked, knowing I wouldn't be able to get home.
So I tried to get past the "security check" anyway.
So after I put my school bag in the X-Ray thingy the guy asked my if I had my passport.
But then I woke up...

I don't remember the *plot/setting* of the other 2 dreams though.

Ok I forgot the LD for the competition:
The 'setting' of my lucid dream was some small playground in the Netherlands (In Uithuizermeeden I think), where I was in the holidays and that I still remember because I was there every summer as a child.
Sadly I don't remember how I got there, I seem to remember LDs way better than normal ones.
I tried to stabilize, but I nearly immediatly woke up :-S

11.12.2013

Random Gun Fire Kills Children in Sporadic Intervals (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

When I became lucid, it’s in a dream setting similar to a school cafeteria. It's completely different from the pre-existing models my mind usually utilizes. The flooring has the basic bland light gray colored tiling with black tar/rubbery-like substances between the creases.

It's either morning or early afternoon, and there's a lot of individuals in their own groups. Two distinct groups where the ones that seemed to be Hispanic. For some weird reason, I had some predisposition into thinking they could be two gangs that have turmoil between each other.

It seemed pretty normal in the sense of a school having individuals desperately trying to find an identity for themselves through gregarious activities with peers to have some illusory perception that there could actually be sustainable bonding. And I happened to be in the middle passively acknowledging their existence.

I hear abrupt and short bursts of gun fire to the left, and I immediately turn in that direction to see the group to the left of me panicking and crowding around someone that may have been shot. Naturally, I get up to see what actually happened.

There's a man who seems to be close to descending into a crying fit as he's holding a dead child in his arms. I can't really describe the details of how the dead child look because it was too disgusting to even contemplate on it.

There's blood streaming through the child's face in several directions, almost as if there's some kind of radial streak originating somewhere along their chest. The group seems to be in a longer state of shock, and I didn't pay attention to what was going on with the group to the right of me.


For some reason I wanted to confirm that this actually just happened, that a child just randomly dies due to gun fire that was very difficult to confirm where the origin was. Seeing how there were walls surrounding the building, the only presumption that can be made is that the bullets can somehow pass through walls and people and solidify until it meets whatever target the shooter wants.


After looking at the child and the man who seems to be at his nadir, I presumed he was either the father, or some kind of relative to the child. Then I noticed most individuals here seems to be around my age or even older, and it felt weird with them existing in a school that would seem to be formatted for Middle School and High School.

I don't know where I'm headed, but I just wanted to get out immediately because of my current attachment to the high state of paranoia of who would be next.

This next environment seems to be an expanded version of the previous one, and the next attack seemed to have been initiated diagonally to the right. I'm sitting with a dream character that was a counterpart of the waking life individual I talked with in High School mostly though lunch period.

Although his existence didn't really seem to matter much, though for the sake of just getting some descriptions down:

• He was wearing a bland gray shirt, dark blue jeans, and his usual messy hairstyle

• His body composition emulated gestures that seemed as if bad was going to happen, though I'm not sure why I'm led to believe this

Most of my attention was on the right section of the dream environment, and I seemed to have some restriction to turn to the left. Maybe it's because I felt something bad would happen in the direction I'm paying attention to the most, or it's something else entirely that I wasn't aware of.


Then more gun fire comes in randomly, and everyone starts screaming. I get up immediately, and the person to the right of me gets up and seems to be shifting his head left and right frantically trying to find where the shot came from.

Turns out it's another child that died, though I didn't bother to take that into consideration seeing how I ended up bringing out the neurotic state again. Since the attack came from afar, I didn't bother paying attention into looking at the child.

Because at the point, if I came in to see what would happen, I would be questioning why I would want to make the attempt to go there and confirm whatever visualizations would show up of the late child's body. And like the previous event, I get out like everyone else eventually did.

_________________________

11.12.2013

Running a Mile in 4:30 (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Guess DILDs are my frequent means of reaching lucidity. That's glad to know considering how haven't done any WBTB lately, and the fact that I was sleeping late and waking up fairly late as well.

The environment looks exactly like the middle school I used to go to, except there some weird atmospheric overlay of brown, orange, and other warm colors. It seemed it was close to night time, but the sunset managed to sustain its existence for a pretty long time.


The conditions of the dream with the environment, and where I was placed with other dream characters and other factors such led me to believe there was going to be a mile run. I can't recall when the coach blew the whistle, but I proceeded to run at the same time everyone did.

I seemed to have realized my legs wouldn't tire out, though I seemed to have been experiencing psychosomatic processes where I felt like I was tired after running fast from the start. The dream shifts to where now I have to go around a huge ring where there was a large field of grass in the middle.

However, it wasn't necessary to go around this circle. All I needed to do was get to the middle, and then turn around and dash all the way back to the start, and then turn to the right to the next new outer ring. I was stumbling a bit in my movements, but then a random image somehow gave me a jolt of energy.

Out of all the imagery that could show up to emit some kind of emotional response, Shanks from One Piece shows up and fades away. It was a younger version of him smiling while wearing a straw hat, at least younger than the current version that looks like he's in his late 30s or something.

Either that was some weird reference on how Luffy has a long-term goal of eventually meeting Shanks when he becomes more powerful, or just a random image altogether.

Anyway, deus ex machina kicks in and I'm running very fast. So fast that I'm already close to finishing the mile run and I'm already by the large gates that I have to go outside the edges. I then get the urge to propel myself to run even faster and finally reached the end.

The coach looks like exactly like the waking life counterpart that seemed to be in his late twenties. He was wearing a dark blue polo shirt along with dark gray sports shorts. He checked his stopwatch and stated that I finished the mile in 4 minutes and 30 seconds.


Clearly something I never was able to do during middle school or even in my current state.

The dream shifts to where I'm heading somewhere holding a cellphone and calling someone. I don't know who it was, but based on how I felt and communicated with them, it was someone really close. Though that's pretty vague seeing how it could be anyone really. I told them how I managed to finish a mile in 4:30, and by that time it was night time.

_________________________

11.12.2013

Messy Apartment and the Realism Distracts Me From Dream Logic (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm in an apartment that resembles the one when I was in College Station, and it seems my father was on his way over there. I didn't know how much time I actually had, but with the situation I'm in now in the dream, my apartment was a horrible mess.

Everything here felt so real to the point where I really started to get distracted. I tried formulating ways to clean up this mess before actually doing so, but I barely got anything done. Then the dream shifts to where I meet an individual in waking life that I'll just abbreviate as Jas.

Jas seemed to be close to this area for some reason in order for me to interact with him so easily. He looked exactly like his waking life counterpart, probably to near perfection. His expression and his fairly passive demeanor to twist his words a bit to make himself look better seems to be there, but that could just be my conceptual schemes playing out within this dream.

He seemed more casual, and even friendlier than he is in waking life. It was almost as if I was a very close friend of his within this dream. I was getting something out of a Jeep Blazer vehicle, and I seemed to ignore the fact that I owned a vehicle for once as well.


Jas was stating something, and I interrupted him with a joke since how what he was saying was going to end up awkward and weird. I forgot what I actually took out, but I went back to the apartment only to go back to square one on what to do with the messy apartment.

Sometimes I wonder if it was an error in perception on the apartment being messy, and instead it I was probably confused on how there were so many objects in front of me that were most likely organized in a weird fashion.

_________________________

11.12.2013

Relative Catches Me Late at Night (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm just going to be lazy and give a brief overview of what happened:

• It's night time in the dream
• I wanted to get out of the house that I was in for reasons I can't recall
• My relative wanted to get out, but he wasn't aware that I was outside for a few seconds
• I ended up walking into his direction, and he's surprised on how I was able to get out
• I go back into the house

Dream 1(fragments):

I was playing some rather bloody game, there were passages filled with blood, blood on walls and floor and ceiling also weird faces on walls. At one point a group of invisible instakilling enemies appeared but i've got doom map that was showing enemies like with iddt code and using it i've dodged enemies and finished the level.

Dream 2(fragment):

I was in some weird school.

Dream 3(fragments):

There was a group of people and a girl escaping from someone through the city. There was massive building on the way and they had to choose whether to go left or right. They split up but the chasers used some flying cameras to watch over them and were contacting them over phone while laughing. Girl commented that it's a good kind of laugh, so they are safe.

12/02/13

In Another Life
I am back in high school. I have absolutely no awareness of my waking life or that there is anything out of place. My name is Marcy, and I am sitting near the back of the room in a math class. It's Algebra. I'm not having any problems with it, I am good at math. More importantly, this is my last class of the day. I am anxious to get out of class and get home. I hope I can get out of the school without meeting up with the jerks that I always have problems with. Sarah, Beth, Maria, and Gene. The bell rang and I shove my books and papers into my backpack and hurry out the door. I am almost to the front door of the school when I see the very people I had been hoping to avoid. Sarah is there talking to her friends. I think I can get out of sight without being seen but it is too late. Sarah speaks loudly, saying watch out, it just got fatter in here. I look down at my body. I am moderately overweight, but it really isn't that much. Gene adds that it got uglier in here. Maria adds that it got stupider in here. Beth tries to add something but I can't understand her because she is laughing too hard. I don't want to let them bother me, but they do. It hurts. I feel like crying.

I hurry past them and out the door, figuring if that is it then I should count myself lucky. But that's not it. Sarah comes out first and shoves me to the ground. The others laugh. Gene and Beth grab my backpack from me, it had only been over one shoulder, and they take off with it. I need that! I chase after them, but I am slower since I am a bit fat. Sarah and Maria follow after me laughing and making comments about my bouncing ass. We reach the far fence of the school yard. I am so out of breath. Gene opens the backpack and starts tossing stuff out over the fence saying that it was all garbage. Beth asks Gene how she can touch stuff I have contaminated. As if just realizing that, Gene tosses the backpack over the fence as if it would bite her. Sarah shoves me into the fence and tells me the world would be better off if I went home and killed myself. I clumsily climb the fence to get my things. I fall down the other side, much to the girls' delight. I scrape my knee up, but that's it. I start collecting my things as the girls walk off, still laughing. After I get my things together I sit by the fence, tired, depressed. Why me? Why did everyone hate me? I start crying.

Not much time had passed before I sense someone watching me. I look up and see a man standing over me. He is wearing a hoodie and has very striking blue eyes. Not sure what a grown man would want with a 14 year old girl I move away a bit. He speaks in a friendly tone. He says not to go, he won't hurt me, he just saw me crying and wondered if I was ok. The fact that a complete stranger has shown concern in how I feel sets me off crying all over again. He asks what is wrong. I find his name is Alex. I'm not sure why, but I feel the need to tell him everything. About the girls harassing me here at school, harassing me online when I'm away from school, one time they had gotten physically violent and broken my nose… maybe Sarah is right and I should just kill myself. He listens sympathetically while I talk. He then holds one hand out to me to help me up. My hesitation has gone now, and I accept his help. He pulls me to my feet… but then he won't let go! He smiles in a friendly way, but what he says is not friendly at all. He says he lied when he said he wouldn't hurt me, this is actually going to hurt quite a bit. But it won't last long. And when it is done, those girls will never push me around again. No one will ever push me around again. I kick at him and try to pull away, I scream, but there is no one way out by the fence to hear me and he is much stronger than I am. He is holding my arm with his right hand… and his left hand is gone? His left hand has transformed into the claws of a beast? My first thought is Wolverine from X-Men. I'm being attacked by Wolverine?! I fight harder. Is this guy going to cut me? Yes, he is. He drives his claws into my mid section. A burning pain erupts from the place he stabbed me. He is holding me close now, whispering in my ear. He says again that it won't last long, so just hang on… it will be much better later. No one would ever hurt me again. Of course no one would hurt me! I was dying! Everything started fading to black. I wonder if anyone will miss me. Will anyone care? My mom would… my brother would… but no one at school would. They'd be glad. I am angry that they will get what they want, then I am swallowed by darkness.

I wake up sitting by the fence that goes around my school. My backpack is beside me. The light is fading. Oh, no! I fell asleep! I look at my stomach, but there is no gaping wound. No blood. Wow… that attack must have been a dream. Just a bad dream. I have to get home! I grab my backpack and run for home. I run as far as I can and then I walk fast. I am exhausted when I reach the house. There are police there, and my mother is beside herself with worry. She sees me and runs over and greets me with the biggest hug. But then she is angry. Where have I been? Why didn't I at least call? What happened? She called the police, she thought I'd been kidnapped or worse! I tell her about being harassed by the girls. I leave out the part about crying, she would consider that a weakness. I tell her I had been waiting by the fence for the girls to leave and I must have fallen asleep. I apologize many times. After a while of apologizing and having people check me out everyone decides it was an honest accident. The police leave, telling me to be more careful about where I fall asleep. I was lucky, but things do happen to girls out alone. I eat dinner, which is macaroni and cheese, then the rest of the evening is spent trying to get my homework done. But it's hard… I don't have as much time as usual since I fell asleep and had to explain everything so many times. And I can't shake the memory of the dream. The weirdest thing is I remember climbing the fence and falling and skinning my knee. But my knee isn't marked. No scratch or scrape, not even any dirt. I am unable to get my homework done before bed time. I am tired, so I crawl into bed and fall asleep right away.

My alarm wakes me up what seems like five minutes later. My sleep had been dreamless this time. I drag myself out of bed, eat some honey nut cheerios for breakfast, then I walk to school as usual. All in a haze, also as usual. As I get to school Sarah starts in on me right away. She tells me I forgot to kill myself last night. I try to ignore her. She asks if there is too much fat in the way for me to cut my wrists. I try to ignore her. She follows me down the hall to my locker while throwing out all the insults she can think of. My birth certificate should've been an apology letter from the condom factory. I'm not sure what a condom is. I should do the world a favor and disappear into fat air. They'd launch me into space but no space ship could lift me… and I'd scare the aliens. This continues. I go to my first class. Sarah is in that class so this offers me no escape. History class. I already don't like history, and with Sarah in the class, it's a nightmare. English class is next, and that offers me some reprieve. But Spanish class is the worst. Both Sarah and Beth are in the class, and the teacher doesn't seem to care what they say to me as long as it's in Spanish. Then there's lunch. I always eat alone. I have no friends. But this time I can't manage to eat alone. Sarah and friends are all around me. Sarah takes my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She takes a bite, then spits it out in my direction before throwing the sandwich in the trash and saying she shouldn't have done that. Now she's infected. She needs an antidote, quick! I escape into my Biology class after being harassed through lunch. Thankfully, Beth and Maria ignore me in my Humanities class. Maybe they've had enough for now. Algebra is a safe class, then it's time to go home.

Again I hope to get out before being spotted by Sarah and her friends, again I fail. When I see them I duck into the girls' bathroom, hoping they didn't see me. I go into one of the stalls. The bathroom is empty and quiet. I hear the door open and someone comes in. My heart sinks when I hear Sarah's voice. She says she knows I'm in there, calling me Fatsy instead of Marcy. About five minutes pass with her standing out there throwing vulgar insults, more vulgar than I normally hear. I figure I should just go past her and leave. I can't stay here all day. So I come out and head for the door. Sarah blocks my way and says not so fast. She says she was being serious about me killing myself. I should do it. Cut the wrists. Warm water would help me bleed out faster. Hanging is an option if I have a rope. Or if my parents have a gun… no, they must not or they would've killed me a long time ago. After being hounded all day I am getting mad. I tell Sarah to get out of the way. She asks who's going to make her. She asks what I'm going to do about it. I think she wants to get into a fight but wants me to start it for some reason. She wants me to throw the first punch. She pushes at me and I briefly lose my balance. Fine… if she wants me to throw the first punch, I will! I punch her in the stomach, hoping to knock the wind out of her. To my stunned horror, my fist actually goes INTO her stomach, spraying blood everywhere. Sarah doubles over and vomits blood. I pull my fist back, I hadn't meant to do that! Really! As I pull my fist back it's like Sarah's insides are somehow caught on it, a stream of bloody tissue flows out of her wound and onto me. I think I might vomit now. The rest of Sarah's body dissolves into a bloody stream and flows onto me. The disgusting mess seems to soak into my body and then it's gone. No blood, no mess, no Sarah. I stand there in shock.

I walk out of the bathroom in a trance, leaving my backpack behind. I walk aimlessly, across the school yard. To the fence where I'd been harassed by Sarah and her friends just the previous day. I reach the fence and drop to my knees, still in shock, not knowing where to go. I try to clear my mind. I have to go home. My mom (and dad?) would be waiting for me… no… not my dad… he's dead… but he's not. My brother Josh would be there, no… it was my sisters Jenna and Sally. Sisters? I didn't have sisters! I try to think clearly, but it's as if I have two sets of conflicting memories in my mind at the same time. One of me, Marcy, and one of Sarah. Sarah, with her timid mother and overbearing father. Overbearing and ABUSIVE! Sarah's memories told me if I was late getting home that would justify a beating… and maybe a nighttime visit. Those horrible nighttime visits… But Sarah is dead now. I killed her. I become stuck on that thought. Sarah is dead and I killed her. But now I know everything about her. She wasn't mean, she was scared. Scared that there was nothing she could control, that everyone could see her weakness, everyone could see she was a victim waiting to be attacked. But if she could prove she was stronger than someone else… like that fat girl Marcy. Damn, she wished she was me. No sign of being beaten at home… Bringing a good lunch every day… Sarah is dead and I killed her.

Guilt overcomes me and I start to cry. Someone jumps the fence but I don't look. He comes over to me, pauses, then acts surprised it is me. He calls me Marcy, then says he has never seen someone figure out how to use that ability on their own before! I look up. It's the man from my dream… Alex… but his hand is normal, not claws. He doesn't look like Wolverine right now, though I am sure Wolverine doesn't have to have his claws out all the time… Anyhow, being attacked isn't really on my mind. I stand up and grab his jacket, saying over and over that Sarah is dead and I killed her. There. I told an adult. Now he would take me to the police. I had to confess, there was no choice. Sarah is dead and I killed her. But he doesn't lead me away. He shakes me until I stop repeating my confession. Tears are still streaming down my face. I look at my right hand that I had somehow used to punch right through Sarah… Alex holds me, trying to comfort me. He says he can explain what is happening. He says I "consumed" Sarah. He says I should now have Sarah's memories, too, and I do have her appearance. The extra set of memories… I say yes, I do… but how? He says that happens when we consume someone. He can do it, too. I start off on a new rant now, telling him Sarah wasn't really bad, it wasn't her fault, she's dead and I killed her… I consumed her… how can I fix it? How can I reverse it? There has to be a way! There just HAS to be a way! He looks like he's not sure what to say to help console me.

Before Alex says anything more, the other three pieces of bad news come over. More insults coming, and there was no way I could handle it right now… no way! But no one says anything mean. Beth asks who my friend is. Maria sees I've been crying and asks if I am ok, but she calls me Sarah. Gene is getting in Alex's face. She asks what he did to Sarah, why did he make her cry. I say Sarah is dead and I killed her. Maria looks genuinely concerned at that. She asks what I'm talking about. Gene goes back at Alex, calling him an asshole and asking again what he'd done to Sarah. Maria leads me away from Alex, saying I need to rest, I need to rest where my bastard father can't hurt me… I should stay over with her tonight. I know right away Sarah's father would say hell no to that and be furious if she did. And when Sarah wasn't there for his nighttime visit, he'd visit Jenna instead. Jenna… only 8 years old… she'd come to Sarah almost a year ago saying father was visiting her sometimes at night. Sarah had advised Jenna not to fight or father would hurt her more. But now I knew what I had to do. I would go home to Sarah's house and break Sarah's number one rule. I would fight back… and that bastard father of Sarah's wouldn't know what hit him.

I ask Maria for a minute of privacy during which I call my own mother and say I am going to a friend's house. She is thrilled that I have a friend. She says to keep my cell phone on. I say I will. Then I tell Maria I have to hurry home. I run most of the way. Sarah's body is that of a cheerleader, and very athletic. I go into the house and find father in a very bad mood. He's drinking again. Perfect. Maybe I can get him to take me to the basement to take my medicine. Then I'll give him his medicine. But he is more focused on mother right now. His dinner wasn't good enough. The house isn't clean enough. He pushes her against the counter while berating her loudly. I tell him to leave mother alone. Mother looks at me as if I've gone mad, so does father. He asks if I want a piece of what he's handing out. Mother tells me to go to my room right now. I say I'm not leaving until this piece of shit that calls himself my father says he's sorry for hurting mother. Mother is shocked to silence, father is now more pissed than shocked, thought the shock still shows in his face. Father asks if I really want to be talking to him like that. Because if I talk like an adult, then I get an adult's medicine. Mother breaks her silence and tells father to leave me alone, I don't know what I'm saying. I tell father I sure do know what I'm saying, and someone ought to kick him in his pathetically small balls so hard they get lodged in his fucking nostrils. Father is pissed. He grabs me roughly by the arm and says it's an adult's medicine for me, then I will never speak to him like that again. Mother pleads with father not to hurt me, but he ignores her and pulls me down into the basement. This is going perfectly.

Down in the dimly lit basement father asks what he should start with. I tell him he should start with begging me not to kill him. He says he doesn't know what has gotten into me, but I have sure gone off the deep end. I don't feel that way at all. I feel strong, like I can take on anyone. And he is weak. He has to pick on those smaller than himself. I spread my arms and tell him to come at me if he wants to die. He says he'll give me my medicine and he can't be sure I'll survive it. He grabs a board and swings it hard into my stomach. I barely feel it. He recoils as if he just smacked a concrete wall with the board. He looks at the board, then at me, then at the board again, clearly puzzled. He swings at me again. I grab the board and take it from him easily. I break it in half as if it was a twig. He steps back in shock, asking me what the fuck I am. I say it's his turn to take his medicine. I close the distance between us with two quick steps and then I repeat what happened with Sarah. I deliberately "consume" this asshole, or that's what Alex had called it. But this time I feel no guilt. Because now I know Jenna will never awaken to his nighttime visits again. Little Sally will never know a single visit. And mother will never have to take her medicine again. I punch my fist right into his gut, which brings about a shocked look of pain on his face. He screams out in pain and terror as I finish "consuming" him.

The sound has brought mother down from upstairs. I look at my hands. I am a man now, I have taken on the form of that asshole. But I don't want to look like him! I want to look like Sarah! I don't want mother to think father killed Sarah. I'm not sure what I do want mother to think… a wave of guilt hits me over Sarah, she shouldn't have died… it was never her fault. As I focus on wanting to look like Sarah I see my hands in front of me shift form. And my perspective drops a couple feet. I am Sarah again. Mother comes down the stairs and stares at me. She asks where father went, she asks if I am ok. I tell her I am ok, father took his medicine. She stops short and asks what I'm trying to say. I feel guilty about Sarah again. I go over to mother and hug her, telling her over and over that I'm sorry, I'm sooooo sorry… I know it will break her heart when Sarah disappears. And Sarah will have to disappear. I can't be both myself and Sarah at the same time. And if I disappear, then my mother will be the one crying. Mother wants to know what I've done. She says whatever it is, she's sure it can't be that bad. I tell her it is, and I can't say what it is… but she will find out soon, and I am sooooo sorry.

Mother wants to hold and comfort me, but I can't take it any longer. I pull away and run back upstairs and out the front door. I run down the street and out of sight even as I hear Sarah's mother behind me calling out. Not that much time has actually passed, and the sun is still shining. But I am in a dark place. I go down an alley to be out of sight and sit down beside a dumpster to cry. I feel some better knowing that Jenna, Sally, and Sarah's mother will no longer be hurt, but I still feel awful about what happened to Sarah. Someone comes up beside me as I am crying. I look up and it's Alex again. He asks if I can change back to Marcy. I think about my normal appearance for a bit and I feel the shift. Alex says I really am a natural. But a natural what? I ignore Alex now and go back to crying. Alex sits down beside me and puts an arm around me. He says to try not to be too hard on myself, what happened with Sarah was an accident. He asks if I really meant to hurt her. I remember wanting to knock the wind out of her, but that was it. Just a belly ache for her. I say no, I hadn't meant to hurt her. He says it was just a terrible accident, and now there was a lot I would have to learn about control so it would never happen again. Control of what? I don't know and I don't really care. I sit there, still crying, with Alex beside me trying to comfort me. I think I fall asleep like that, because then I wake up in bed as Raven again and a full understanding of what had happened in the dream.

Date: 12/3/13
Technique(s) used: N/A
Time: 9:30 PM - 5:50 AM
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I started out in school, working on some sort of web page. I cannot remember the content, but I do remember the teacher coming over and telling me to fix somehting on it.

I looked around the class, observing everyone else that was working. I looked in my backpack, and dug out an album. Darkness came shortly after I closed my bag.
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Suddenly I am in my room, leaning over my bag. I'm next to my closet, which houses my shelf.

I dig in my bag, and pull out the album I'd picked up earlier. The text was unreadable. I shelved it next to the others.

I pull out another one, which hapens to be two in one. One I recognized off the bat - it was an album I'd gotten a while ago. However, something wasn't right; the artwork wasn't correct, and the text was green, instead of the usual red.

There wasn't enough time to investigate - I was suddenly spiraling downward, into a new dream.
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I was in a house, much different from the one I live in now. I had in my hand a flier.

I open it up, and look inside. There were a multitude of pictures of beasts and monsters from different album art. Some were fighting others, some seemed to be wandering the black halls. I close it, and headed for a bedroom.

Finding one, I went inside, and sat myself down. Instantly, a low growl eminated inside the room. Terror seized me, and I froze up for a moment. In came a black entity, of which I cannot remember the shape.

I then woke up.

I dream that I keep receiving random checks. They're from some sort of educational institution. I'm trying to figure out what it's all about, and it seems like they specialize in training people and sending them overseas to do various things. I'm nervous about the idea of living in a country where I don't understand the language. I'm trying to figure out if they're genuinely trying to recruit me, or it's some scam to trick me into accruing debt. I go to some sort of office, where I need to have my passport with me and have a blood test done (to make sure I don't have anything infectious/contagious). For some reason, I have bank notes from several different countries in my wallet, and have scribbled notes across them.