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The idea that it was the last day of school, maybe college. I was w/ Kol in the mountains, the scene was very steep. Kendrick Lamar is there and I try to take a picture of him w/ Kol but we're on this very steep cliff and I'm afraid of falling down, I think end up falling off the cliff.

I'm in my father's old house in my sister's room laying in bed, there's someone in bed with me but it turns into Pennywise or the idea of him. He busts through the door, I close my eyes in fear. I can feel the vibrations and weight of him stomping slowly towards the bed.

The dream scene is at a summer camp. It feels like we've been there a while. Peck is there, we're in some sort of lodge. It's daytime but people are trying to sleep. I'm moving on a path throughout the camp that's surrounded by woods and a river. I keep thinking that I'm trying to leave the camp but it's not time yet.

Another dream where it's the last day of high school. There's also a football game going on.

I am on a computer, looking through files. I’m trying to find papers from an earlier part of the dream where I’d stayed after a math class drawing, and the teacher had brought over a stack of graded assignments he’d apparently been working on while I sat there. I’d just glanced at them and seen that’d I’d done really well on them before taking off, but now I want a closer look, and this was apparently where they were.

I scroll through small pictures, some of which began to move. One has expanded to fill the whole screen. It shows a house on fire, people running out. It scrolls past a small stage on which two double basses stand, one the traditional sort, another more metallic – electric by the look of it, but still a roughly double bass size and shape. It sits in a sort of flower-shaped metal pad. It catches my attention, and I’m struck by the level of detail.

I am now – not sure in what order – both present in the dream and lucid. I’m in a park-like area, a clearing with groves of trees and some woods not far off. Another stage is nearby, this one a roofed circular platform on which sits another of those big electric basses. I consider giving it a try – that could be fun. But it occurs to me that I’ve never produced frightening scenarios in lucid dreams before, and I should try it at least once.

Surrounded by demons is the first thing that occurs to me for some reason. That’ll do. I will them into being. As I focus on the intention, everything around me grows dark, swirling and immaterial. I’m floating, moving vaguely backwards. But nothing else seems to be happening. Oh, well. Maybe I’ll give that bass a try after all.

I let go of the intention. The original scene immediately returns, and I walk back towards the area I started out in. But not far from it, by a ridge in front of a forested area, I spot a strange figure. Its head looks like a skull, bovine in shape, with horns that curl around to the front and knot around each other, and it’s wearing a black and white herringbone tweed blazer with a thin purple scarf and a long grey-black skirt. It looks like I managed something, at least, although I can’t say it’s especially scary.

As I approach, it waves its hand, causing a small sphere of darkness to shoot towards me. This startles me a bit, but it doesn’t seem to have any effect. I keep walking towards it, ignoring its attacks. As I pass the pavilion, I notice the instrument sitting there looks different now. There are also now a number of cats up under the roof, lying in big cat piles that seem to extend upward into tunnels. They seem to just be waking up. The grey and orange tabbies stay where they are, but a few black cats stretch and jump down onto the stage.

As I turn back towards the figure, I see that it is now a cat as well – a small black one. I pick it up. It doesn’t look happy with being held, but it makes no attempt to escape.

At that point, I wake up.

9.1.20

I am outside somewhere in what looks like a marsh. The water brilliantly reflects the sky, making it hard to tell how deep it is. It’s also hard to tell what/where the land is, as the plants are lush and thick. I am walking through this, giving in to the inevitability of my feet sinking into the water at some point. I still try to avoid it as much as I can, and at one point I am jumping higher, farther, and slower than is humanly possible. This marshland is really peaceful and beautiful. Now, I’ve ended up on the edge of a forest, traveling inward. It’s gotten darker quicker than I expected, and I feel a brief pang of fear as I don’t have a light or a sense of direction.




I’m in an unfamiliar college building and walk into Mike Holmes’ class (different than his real class), finding it full when I thought it would be over. I see my empty seat at the high desks and take it. Now, I am presenting a model - a plain, rectangular, multi-floor shopping mall. I don't think I've ever actually seen this model until now, and I'm only talking about its simplicity as if it is its biggest asset. He seems to like it.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some office or school building. It is quite empty. There is only a couple of persons with me and walking around. But we hear scary sounds and a couple zombies come through the door. We fight them with whatever we have. I pick a sturdy ceramic cup to smash their heads, but unlike movies, their skulls are thick. I hit them several times and they almost don't flinch. I am even feeling sorry for hurting them. But we escape to outside where we find hungry dogs also posing a threat, but we go up and down some stairs after throwing some food at them and we run to a residencial area. In the residences there are lots of people and life runs as normal. Someone is throwing a party with loud music as night approaches and neighbors are at the windows talking at each other about doing something to shut it down. I am staying at a house with my parents or at least they had some involvement in setting it up for me. My dad was just there to show some wall he built in the back of the house for extra protection, which comes in handy. But I still plan to look for some safer place. I grab as much food as I can and pack bags and go to a train station or airport. They don't want to allow me to take all my food with me and I complain, but as long as I can embark I am ok. I just want to leave.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Caught on a time loop with some people who are also aware of it. We are at school, the afternoon class was canceled and I am not sure if I stay and eat at the canteen or if I go lunch at home. Out of nowhere there is an explosion and we all die and go back to half an hour before and relive the moment. It seems we can't get out of it or change it and I watch each and every one of the others losing it, going insane. But I also start noticing small changes in the history every time we relive it. I start exploring the moment from other angles. Until I finally find the bomb and the guys who set it up. It won't be easy to disable it but now there is hope, so I go back to my friends and tell them the news just before the explosion happens again.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At some kind of school I attend. Conan is one of my colleagues. I hope to get his attention but I don't succeed immediately. Everybody wants to be his friends. Then someday he notices me because I look weirder than usual. During a break, I am sorting my make up kit and he stops by and asks what I am doing. He loves my make up boxes and asks if he can try some of it. I welcome him to sit with me. We become best buddies, holding hands and sharing a secret world others don't get.
Then I need to take a subway somewhere and realize I am in London and don't know exactly where. I see another colleague from school at the train station and think about talking to him, but someone else walks towards him and they both leave. I get on the first train that comes but then I get out realizing I don't have a ticket or clue where to go. I go to a counter but the people behind it sell all sorts of things besides tickets. There is a bag on the ground to my right and I pick it up thinking it fell from somewhere and then some lady starts picking with me and shows me the receipt for that bag which she had bought.

I am part of a small group of poor kids who were selected to one of the most exclusive schools in the world, located in a palace. On the first day there is a ceremony in which we are introduced to the high society. Then we are left roaming free on the backstage and we go explore some hallways covered in red velvet or white satin and gold. I would normally find it very kitsch, but here it works and I find it absolutely gorgeous. I cry at the sight of the most beautiful library I've ever seen, with velvet curtains and red walls. I do not realize some posh people are gathered there and at least one of the ladies complains about these kids being there. But another old lady, very sweet, asks me why I am crying. I tell her I live in a wooden shed and had never seen anything this beautiful. She becomes my friend and tells me her name is Vesova.

Some nightmare with my dog Hachi.

With Riverstone again by car at night. We see a strange animal getting in front of us. A turtle with a toad head making toad noises, but the size of a pig. it is blocking our way. I then see it is not a real animal but made of clay and see that from where he came from, other animals in clay are starting to come to life and move. I tell Riverstone we should get out of there, because there is a big bull among them and I expect him to also come to life. We go up a wooden gate and we close it, but it has a hole in it and a goat comes after us and I have to climb a wall to escape its horns. Then two dogs, not aggressive but curious, also come after me and one bites me a in a butt cheek. Not to hurt but still hurts.
I find Zilla at the entrance of a house backdoor that leads to a basement. She tells us to go there but the dogs also go in. In any case, they stop biting. This basement is like a club with board games and sofas to chill. But has a strange decoration, full of nets as curtains and also giant spider webs hanging everywhere. Some joke about us being caught in the matrix. I move slowly avoiding the webs, some other girls gets her face into one. Then I see a group at some sofas around a carpet where more dogs lie at their feet. It is the Portuguese President and several sons that look like his clones at different ages. A couple of them invites me to join them and I accept and sit down. One of the dogs has an eye infection, I ask if they are treating it and the guy shrugs his shoulders saying they are going to the vet soon. I take a look and find she has a metal thing trapped inside her eye. I remove it and tell them she might be fine now, but they still need to clean her eye and if she continues sick she needs antibiotics.
Then I feel a strong gallbladder pain that throws me on the ground crying. They mock me a little, then ask if I am ok. I explain I have a large gallstone and sometimes hurts and suddenly I wake up and I realize the pain is real and coming from me sleeping in a bad position putting pressure on my GB. I turn to the other side on my bed and for a split second I see this dark figure leaning over me and I jump in my bed. It disappears and I am left doubting if I saw what I saw.

I'm with my (dream)friend, a girl, kind of sporty wearing a flannel, at UMF but its not UMF. We're here for tryouts for this... game/thing/college/class.
Its being held down in the Roberts parkinglot, which is busier, with a building in the center. I pass Michelle Darling, hello.
There's a group of ppl who made it and those trickling out who didn't. The test is like, throwing these darts or catching them or something sporty.
She fails. But on her way out she catches one, but it doesn't count. I don't know if it counts or not.
I don't know how I pass, but I do. Eventually all the winners are left and are being guided away toward wherever we're going.
I look for her frantically, I don't want to be alone, but I know she's out.
In the crowd of people I see Rebecca! I have a dream memory of knowing she wanted to go back to school. I get in with her group and say hey.
We're stragglers. There's this big fat happy boy. I say something about my friend (another person, a winner) wants to go to this college thing to dismantle religion.
Everyone laughs.
Eventually we go to where we're going to be for the next like, 6 months.
Its a crystal cavern-turned-school. The cavern is the school. The crystals are super powerful. (This is some Hollow Knight bullshit).
The cavern is kind of 2D and there's a 'flat' back to it, even though it LOOKS like it goes deep. I wonder if we'll unlock it.
We go "right" into a huge chamber and are told some stuff, don't know. Its an important room.
We're herded into a crystal-cavern cafeteria-esque small room to the "left" of the flat center room and sit at tables. Its like everyone had been here before but I'm one of the new kids, even though we're all new: I'm like an hour late to the game or something. I ask the fat boy if I can sit next to him.
"OOO, your body!" referring to all my current bruises and scars. "Yeah I got too drunk camping." "This is my first time being drunk!"
I realize this is why they brought us here: a woman hands out a menu with only drinks. Mostly wine. He orders more wine. Chelsea is behind me and orders Coffee Brandy, but she calls it WBTB (lol). I have that flash-urge of "fuck sobriety" but I consider getting a coffee. Its like 2.98, the cheapest coffee and cream option. Tons of crazy chai coffee stuff, but all very expensive.
My vision flashes outside of myself and I see this crazy cackling headmistress kind of deal, and like a cinema/movie, I know she's got secret/subversive plans based on the "shot" of the scene. She's behind the flat part of the center room and zoom-slips through the crystalline hole. She lands on the outside of the cavern to the "right" -- we didn't know there was a behind. She punches the crystal and it super-charges something. This is "bad" ... she's not telling anyone she's doing this, she has some evil plan here.
My vision flashes again to a group of girls being shown the cavern for the first time. You can see the flash on the edges/seams of the room.
"WOAH," they say. Their faces are like half-drawn anime, I can see those vertical+horizontal face lines artist do, and I toggle the horizontal on and off with some dream-watcher power (not the me of the dream, the me of me/myself dreaming) and I realize they look half-drawn because the flash is so bright.
Then it subsides and I see their normal faces.
Flash back to me going back into the cafeteria room with everyone. The wine is being served.
"I think I forgot to order somehow" I say and the waitress/teacher (there's only like, 2 teachers here, she's one of them) sighs and says they can put in a last minute order for a price. Well, I guess, sure.
I ask her if she lives here year round, half knowing she must not, but just curious.
"Oh, no. This place is inaccesssible half of the year."

Some kind of time skip, and I'm on "leave" from the school, like a vacation or something.
I'm in Walmart in the back room. I came here very much on a mission. My job is like an assassination. I track people down with my team and tell them to go to jail or we'll kill them. We hunt out people who get away with bullshit.
I'm walking and I don't know who my target is until I do (the first person I see: I can feel the dream being made up as I go along).
Its Torrey. I feel bad, some part of me who knows it was random. But he sees us, my team and I, and knows what's coming.
I threaten him. I don't remember the exact words but I make the offer, tell him we know what happened.
"We have a graveyard for you all set up. Westskull or Eastskull cemetary, your choice. But I'd rather you atone. YOU MUST ATONE FOR YOUR SINS AND GO TO JAIL."
He's getting really nervous but refusing. He doesn't want either. He tries me: "How do you know, you have the paper?" "Yes, I do" "So you were in the cop car when it happened? I doubt it" and true doubt flashes on his face, but I know what my job is and I know I'm right, so I press onward. YOU MUST ATONE!!!
A roll-up door rolls up and a truck is parked out there. I have to get away from the situation, and I know my dream makes it up that I can dive under the truck like its my get-away vehicle, so it is (That dream faculty!). I do, and I'm nervous it won't work, that I'm making it up and he's going to get me, but the car rolls away and I'm unharmed as I'm dragged out of the building underneath it. In the parking lot I hop up into the cab.
I see my buddy, the driver, and know I'm safe. He has a super-long lens camera. I take it so he can drive.
We getaway. I fuck with the camera, but it won't stop zooming/adjusting. I go to turn the zoom off, but the body is super-blank.
"Simple camera," I say. "Yeah, it's probably not good." I finally take some shots. They look good. "Nah, it's great."

I think I am at work, maybe in the mall? There is a lady at a kiosk or shop with whom I’ve gotten into some kind of verbal altercation. I think it is not unjustified. I am saying something about how it’s the worst service I’ve ever received. I think I’m now in some sort of trouble for what I’ve said and/or done, and I have to leave. I’m with Laynie now, and this place looks and seems more like an elementary school. I am not going to leave, and I think she’s aiding me in not getting caught. It is dark out, and I think we’re attempting to stay in here for the night. There is a group of people who I think are walking around, checking for anyone still remaining. Laynie tells me to hurry, and we run out to my? parked car on what looks like the driveway outside of the old 695 house. I unlock it with the remote on my keys and we climb in, her up front and me in the backseat. I lie down and sort of cover myself with blankets. I think it’d still look like a person if they looked in, but hope it’s too dark to see that well. At one point I am in the front yard, and it seems very overgrown, but with pretty flowers and grasses.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Were occupied by nazis. I am part of the resistance. I am staying at my hometown and we set headquarters at the school just by the side of my mom's house. I am supposedly a teacher, but it's just the cover. The school is at one of the highest points at the village and we can see every movement from there but are not seen easily from below. So I meet there some fellow freedom fighters and we exchange info and make plans there. Someone brings us the info that a resistance lady escaping the nazis is sleeping at the cemetery and apparently about to be found by a nazy patrol going there. We organize a group of three and we exit through the back to go on a rescue mission. I kiss goodbye one cat I own and is sleeping on a shelf on a wall. I fear not coming back but know that some of my friends would look after my baby. We get there and we eliminate the patrol and want to bring her along but she is actually complaining, saying she could totally handle them alone. We're upset and we leave.

Going to my room, find it infested with wasps. Don't want to kill them, so start working on a strategy to take them away but can't make it work, so I just close the door. Later, Zilla and someone else comes to sleep there unaware of it and they go to bed without noticing there are wasps between the sheets. They get attacked and amidst the panic, Riverstone comes to help and starts killing them, says we can't save the wasps, we must protect ourselves first. I join in killing them with a shoe but hurts doing so. Then notice another little animal like a crab going into the bed. It is a strange creature because it seems origami, not real. But it moves and seems intelligent. I drop it outside my house and immediately it goes back inside, finds the room and goes to the bed again. I wonder if it is a robot.

Walking a street with a frjend. Stop in front of a historic building to admire it. Then some silly guy passing by, kisses my hand. At first I ignore, but then decide to scold him and grab him by his arm and head for a police car nearby. Unfortunately no cops inside. So I drag the guy to the nearest police station. Unexpectedly the police tells me and my friend that a killer is looking for us. Then it's revealed that is someone in the police. They drug us, I stay awake but very sleepy. Someone laughs. I try to resist, I manage to keep conscious until someone comes in with a big dog.

It's Wednesday, we have Biology
I am at the entrance to the classroom. Everything is blurry, but I don't pay attention to that. I hear our teacher talking. The only thing I thought was that it was Wednesday and we had Biology. Then I woke up, having to go to school at Thursday.

I'm on campus talking with some friends on the first day of classes. I'm waiting outside a classroom they they all have their next class in, but I realize I don't. When the class gets out early, I run up the stairs to the front doors. I almost run into a girl, however, and spin around to avoid the collision. I say sorry before trying to get back to the doors but I feel really dizzy from spinning around. I manage to get outside and I feel better as I run across the open area. I get inside another building where my class is at and arrive in the classroom before it begins. It's an odd shaped room that seems too small to fit everyone in. When the professor comes in, we are suddenly all at desks in a normal room, however. She starts out speaking with a voice assist like smokers would use and it makes her hard to understand. I consider dropping the class and taking it next semester, but her voice gets better and I'm enjoying the material so I stay.

School bathroom
I walk around a school with a friend. I remember that I need the bathroom really badly, telling my friend, who then tries to guide me to the bathroom. The school halls have no windows and were themed like the intensive care unit I was in when I had a ketoacidosis, albeit one hallway, originally leading to a sort of room I don't remember the purpose of and a storage room, now leads to the office of the school. It is themed like the one at my school. As we go a bit in, we turn around and the hallway has changed to more of the office hallway, just a whole lot longer and like the real school, only that to the right and left are two bathrooms now. We find the boy's bathroom and it is locked up entirely. We then turn around and find that there's a girl's bathroom with two girls washing their hands. Obviously, I can't just use that bathroom, so we start walking to the exit of the hallway, aiming to go to our lessons. Then I wake up, having to use the bathroom just as badly as in the dream.

2019, 06-25

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

School Daze

I am in school. I am in a classroom, though I’m not sure what class is going to be here. I sit down at a desk about halfway to the back of the room. I look around at the other desks and students. I see a rack of comic books on one side of the room. My attention is caught by a Ranma graphic novel and a Ranma comic. The graphic novel is a collection of many of the comics, the single comic is a new release. I hear Vegeta’s voice in my head telling me to buy them both. I go over to the comic rack and take the graphic novel. Somehow someone else managed to get to the comic before I could. So I go back to my desk with the graphic novel. Vegeta will have to be satisfied with that.

I put the graphic novel under my desk to keep from being distracted. I notice on the cover it looks like Ranma has punched someone into orbit. I think a comic book rack in a classroom is just asking for distractions. A boy in the desk in front of me looks a lot like Ryoga from the Ranma comics. He hands me a green marker. I ask what I’m supposed to do with that. He says take notes. I give the marker back and tell him I prefer pen. He hands the marker back to me again, so I return it again. He lies the marker on my desk. I don’t know why he wants me to have it so badly. I am looking at my black notebook when I wake up.

FNaF + school + Doctor Who + ...¹
²I remember being in my old primary school, about first or second grade. I am one of the children, seemingly coming from another class because I had to be assigned a new place to sit, a kid changing seats to the one next to him to let me sit there. I place down my bag at my new sitting place and listen to the female teacher.
It seems we will go to visit.. something having to do with the Five Nights at Freddy's animatronic 'Circus Baby', according to what she says. Can't exactly remember what she says, though.

The dream is skipping to our teacher going down to check on the animatronic, opening a chamber with a hissing noise as a sort of white smoke came out of it and it revealed the chamber to be a metallic, dark and blue tube with Circus Baby standing in the middle, the tube just large enough to fit her in. Upon looking into the chamber, the teacher started to scream as Circus Baby activated.

Scene change to a bar, restaurant or some sort of store standing in a forest, the teacher laying motionless in front of it. I know that she fell from a hole in the sky. I am suddenly inside the store and an unfriendly man, possibly some sort of elve or dwarf seems to have something to do with the death of the teacher. Then either I turn into the doctor or the doctor appears, in his eleventh regeneration. He suddenly begins a speech about that the man can't just "play with lives". I don't remember the rest of the conversation.

Now I am again somewhere having to do with a storm, but I don't remember anything except that.

---

¹: The school came from the fact that I am constantly stressed out about it, Doctor Who came from my excitement of it coming on One (A German TV channel) every Tuesday, FNaF came from me watching an entire series of Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted on YouTube and the storm came from me looking at stormchasing videos again.

²: I had chanted a mantra for a second before drifting off. Seemed to have helped with recall a lot, even when chanting it such a low amount. I will retry this next night.

2019, 06-05

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

Fus You, Donald Trump!
I am on top of a tall building, perhaps the Empire State Building. There is some kind of gathering there. I get closer and I see the president of the United States is there. Donald Trump is surrounded by secret service people and reporters are gathered. The president is standing near the edge of the building where there is a really tall railing designed to keep people from falling or jumping off. I get closer and I hear Trump saying something about opening a new coal mine that will employ hundreds and make money for him and all his rich friends. When a reporter asks about air pollution Trump says the coal burns clean. I get closer and Trump sees me, then says he can have whatever woman he wants. He reaches to grab me. I tell him if he touches me I'm going to fus him. He grabs a breast and laughs. I drop down to get a better angle and I fus him... FUS-RO-DAH! Due to my angle he flies up into the air and right over the barrier at the edge of the building, disappearing from sight. I wonder if he will make a crater when he lands, or maybe he will bounce? Secret service seems at a loss for what to do.

So Very Cold
I am in a strange place. It looks like an old style castle or fortress. I am not very focused on what is going on around me because I am so very cold. Not just cold outside, but cold inside. It feels like I might have swallowed some liquid nitrogen and I am currently freezing solid. I walk through the halls looking for some possible source of warmth. There are people around but they all seem distant and cold. They look like Assassins from Assassin's Creed. I need to find warmth or I will freeze through. I go through some more halls and rooms not sure of where I am going. I enter a bed chamber. There is a bed there with an Assassin sleeping in it. I feel warmth from there. I need that warmth. I stumble over to the bed and practically fall into it, crawling under the covers and up against the sleeping Assassin. He wakes and looks at me. It is Altaïr Ibn-LaʼAhad from Assassin's Creed. He puts his arms around me and holds me, I feel his warmth and now I am able to fall into a peaceful sleep.

Design a Game, Design a Reality
I am in a school, I am in a computer class. Everyone is working on our projects. My project is to design a video game, and I am working on a creepy one. I have just finished modelling a student desk and I am placing multiple instances of it in an empty and creepy looking classroom. It is coming out quite good. I make the room dark and add spots on the wall that are cracked and peeling, just enough to make it look abandoned. I add some marks that could be blood stains near a door that will lead to the next room. I need a bathroom break. I lock my computer and get up. I head out the classroom door… and I find I have walked right into the room I was just creating! How can this be? I haven’t even finished making it yet! I walk into the room and the door closes behind me. I turn back and the door is gone! I am thinking this might warrant a reality check when I wake.