20-10-2015: A false awakening I woke up in a bed in my living room. I quickly went out of it, and headed towards the kitchen. Suddenly I felt slight pain in the back of my right shoulder. My t-shirt was wet in that area. I took it down, and saw that I have a huge cut on my shoulder. The t-shirt was wet mainly due to a strange, colourless liquid that poured out of the wound. I looked at the cut for a while, and then woke up. 21-10-2015: Dungeon crawling fragment I've been playing Dungeon Crawl. I had a high-level formicid fighter deep in the dungeon, but something kiled it. 22-10-2015 First dream It was in a hotel placed in old fortifications. I was lying in a bed, thinking that the next day I'm finally coming back home. I wanted to pee, so I went out of bed and entered the toilet. The room had gray tiles. There were carpets and hangings with strange patterns. There was only sink in there, so I had to pee into the sink. After a while, doors to secret passeges opened, and someone walked through the toilet. I looked around again, and saw that the urinal appeared, so I uesed it instead of the sink. False awakening I woke up in my bed. It was 2.50, and it was dark all around. I thought to myself what a weird dream I just had, and then decided to go to the toilet. The lights werent working, so I had to do my thing in the darkness. I could barely see the toilet seat and a mirror to the right. I thought about ghosts for a while. I finished, and when I was just about to close the doors behind me, my grandma went out of the toilet, calling me to herself. Then I decided that I should just go to bed and sleep some more. Third dream I woke up near a small building in the middle of a desert. There was a motorcycle standing on my right. I sat on it, and drove away. After a while of driving on a small road, I entered a highway. It was warm early morning. I just reached a roundabout on a highway, watching various plants growing on it. They looked beautifull with beams of sunlight spreading between them. Then I drove off to another part of the highway. Despite everyone turning there, the vechicles always moved in the opposite direction there. I had to drive between two trucks to see it myself. Then I decided to stop, and reach an airport. I woke up in some kind of metropoly. I was lying on a road, close to a taxi cab. I looked to the cars mirror, and saw that I looked like a terminator. I entered the airport, and took someones wallet, then went to a street and asked who was its owner. A youg, tall and slim lady replied, so I gave it to her and moved on. It was a rainy early morning. There was a kiosk nearby, with a bald man working there. I asked him if they had a telephone cards, but he said that he never heard about something like that. There were two teenagers sitting nearby, conversating about how the word telephone card sounded. I moved on. For every meter one could meet a telephone booth. All of them rusty and badly damaged. Then I saw a group of people inside a falling building. I ran towards them quickly and saved them.
Non-dream Non-lucid Lucid I tried to SSILD last night but nothing happened which was disappointing. I attempted to use it to get a WILD-type lucid but that failed and I didn't even get a DILD as a back up . Dream 1 - Rich Look I had woken up earlier before this dream and couldn't be bothered going to the toilet, I almost paid the price. There was some competition to win an expensive sports car (like $100K) and a $1000 tennis racket, along with other stuff too I think (a fancy suit maybe). It was supposed to be some kind of opportunity to spruce yourself up and look really good in order to appeal to the ladies or something. I don't think I wanted to win, in fact I don't think I did. But then I was the winner and I walked into an apartment that was mine now, it was inside a very dull grey carpark building. I just remember really needing to pee so I went to the corner of the room and did it, behind the couch... O_O... I woke up thinking "Omfg please tell I didn't just..." and patted my bed a bunch. All was safe which confused me because I no longer needed to pee either. Dream Fragment - I remember standing in the toilet and unzipping my fly to take a leak. Only thing is... My pants in RL didn't have a zipper that day, they had these annoying button things. Conspiracy? Nope, just a dream. Dream 2 - Eminem Concert This dream was pretty cool, it took place in a huge stadium with Eminem rapping on the stage. I don't think it was his music he was singing but oh well. Everything was dark and the stage was the primary source of light. It illuminated a huge crowd of people jumping around and enjoying themselves. I was somewhere far off to the right of everything kind of just observing everything while all experiencing it somehow (dream logic?). It was the end of the concert now and Eminem took out a golden record disk. It looks incredible, it must be so valuable. He slowly and smoothly throws it and glides over the crowd. I'm in the crowd yet not, I'm observing but participating. I jump up from the crowd really high and intercept it, catching it and getting applause. Wow, I just got this?! I'm completely stoked. I decide to leave, and tuck the record away on my person, then crowd surf all the way to the back of the stadium and onto a walkway near the entrance. My friends and family are there too, just casually waiting for me so we can leave together. I look for the record so I can show them, but it's missing! Did I drop it while crowd surfing? Oh wait, I found it again. The panic disappears as I pull it out from under my shirt. I felt like it had been there the whole time and wonder how I could have thought to have lost it. It's in a paper bag now too, but it's obviously broken down the middle just by looking at how the bag sharply bends in the middle. Oh f*ck . My friends and family see this and start talking about it, even arguing and telling me I should have been more careful. One of them says that because it's the golden record label it's not actually broken which reassures me. I know that if I take it out then it will be fine, even though it's still obviously broken. Their still arguing though, I just suddenly have this outburst come out... "Shut up! This is the first time I've won anything in years, how do you think I feel knowing that it's broken?! This means a lot to me so stop harassing me about it". Wow where did that come from? They stop bickering as they understand that it's not something they should complain about, the dream ends.
Non-dream Non-lucid Lucid Dream 1 It feels like we're playing a game. Something not entirely real. There is a guy standing in my mom's room. The bed is gone, but there are some plastic explosives (like C4) placed on the ground. I'm standing just outside of the room. I wanted to make a bomb out of it, but I'm not sure how to do it. The guy does it for me and explains that you gotta be careful, cause it's unstable and might explode prematurely. I move a bit to the left to take cover behind the wall if needed. He sets a timer for about 30 seconds and then tries to walk out of the room. I push him back in. This happens several times, until there are just a few seconds left. I run and the bomb goes off with the guy still inside my mom's room. The fire/smoke comes out of the room a little bit. I'm not sure if that was the correct amount of explosives to use. The setting has flawlessly turned into my student home. I'm standing in a room that in reality is occupied by a blond girl, but in this dream by the guy I just murdered. The room has a brown laminate floor and there's a mini fridge. Just like reality, but with furniture missing. At first it was fun when it was a game, but now I have a guilty conscience. I can understand why some people think murdering is fun, but to live with knowing you murdered someone... The guy who in reality moved out earlier this week has laid dibs on the room. Whatever man. If he's not gonna pay the rent he's gonna be kicked out within a month anyway. I walk out of the room. Dream 2 I'm in my student house. Despite the fact that this moment takes place entirely inside a room with a closed door, it feels like the orientation of the room is off with reality. As if the room has turned 90° and is also located elsewhere. I'm standing in front of the toilet, peeing. I recall my footing being weird, but not exactly how. It's the type of toilet that I like to refer to as a splashing toilet (drop a #2 and your butt might get wet). Suddenly a goldfish appears in the water. What the hell? Did he just swim here from the other side of the pipes? Dream 3 I'm still in my student house. Everything is totally off from reality. I just found out there's a second kitchen on the ground floor, right next to the kitchen I've always been using. Sweet man! I think back about 2 days ago when I told my housemate's girlfriend that there's only 1 kitchen on the ground level. I look around. I like this kitchen more than the other one. From now on I'm definitely gonna use this one, much cleaner. I walk from this one, through another common area, to the other kitchen. In the common area there's a long black table which is quite high. Like a bar. There's a guy my age sitting there with his laptop and 1 or 2 people. He's trying to sell them a phone subscription from a company called Euphony. Huh.. that went bankrupt, didn't it? Does he even know that? I walk into the other kitchen. My laptop is standing there and I look up the info on Euphony. Dream 4 I'm sitting in a big living room with my housemate. We're about to go stream on Twitch, but instead of playing a videogame it seems we're gonna be playing beerpong. My best friend's little brother is there to.. not sure if my best friend is there as well. Someone from the team on the other side throws the ball. I'm about to throw, but notice that the setup isn't like what I'm used to. There's a stack of cups in the middle and they are obstructing the view on the cups on the other side. There are only 6 cups on the other side and none on my side. Ehhh. I sit in front of the computer, waiting for us to be able to play the game. In the mean time we're still streaming and people are responding. I feel like I need to interact with these people to prevent them from leaving. Some do leave the stream and that message is shown about 8 times in a row, instead of just one time. I'm totally new to Twitch, so I have no clue about what to do. Also, this keyboard really sucks. Eventually I walk away. My housemate is sitting somewhere else in the living room, sitting less than a metre away from a big screen and playing a game. I move on to the bathroom, and on a white plastic little shelf above the sink I see a can of Amstel. Ah so that's where my beer went! The can has a different lighting than the rest of the dream, making it stand out in a kind of unique way. Beautiful. Fragment I recall walking outside of a library and eventually going in. Not alone.
Black: non-dream Blue: non-lucid Red: lucid Dream 1 - at my ex's house I was at my ex girlfriends house and her friend was with us too. I remember at some point needing to go to the loo and my ex's friend did too... So for some reason we went at the same time because there are multiple toilets in there (don't know why, it seemed normal in the dream). I started taking a leak while she waited, but she started trying to turn me on . Next thing I know she says "come on, just ask me already..." with a lustful tone in her voice. "I know you want to **** me hard" O_O. Uhhh. As she said this another guy who lived in the house walked in (there seemed to be 3 doorways into this loo, the man came in from a door opposite where we entered). I immediately knew he had heard what she'd said, the look on his face was like "ohhh haha I see what's happening", such a cheeky grin. We kind of act like nothings going on though... Then another guy walks in from the 3rd doorway, directly next to the 2nd one. I asked him to put something in the rubbish for me but he just looks at me, throws it back and says "no". I get all pissed off and follow him as he walks off back through the doorway. When I peer through the door I see a guy sitting on the couch, but it wasn't the right guy... He should have been right in front of me but it just wasn't the right dream character. I clicked and realized it was a dream. I don't recall too well what I did but I remember just walking around and thinking about what to do before eventually just waking up. What a waste. Edit: I remembered this halfway through the day, but during this dream while I was walking around I saw a bunch of guys working out, which kind of grossed me out O_O I thought to myself "god damn it why couldn't there be hot chicks working out?". I tried to turn this thought into my will, commanding the dream to summon hot chicks instead of buff guys . And that's how I spent my lucid dream. Dream 2 - Through the mirror to the arcade I have no clue what I was doing prior to becoming lucid, but I clapped my hands in an attempt to stabilize myself. I turned to face a mirror which didn't have my reflection in it, but instead it had a reflection of another mirror which had another mirror in it and another and another... So on so forth. I wanted to go inside it and see where it would take me. So I clapped my hands together again and as I took them apart I 'grabbed' the air and willed the mirror to expand. I then kind of dived/got sucked into the mirrors portal and everything went black. I was in a dark rectangular pit just falling through space. Eventually I saw stars and the pit opened up. This is where it kind of turned into an arcade game. Things started flying towards me and I dodged them, then they came back and I dodged them again... I think they were pixelated skulls? I suddenly had a knife and had to fight off these giant pterodactyl creatures, they flew at me and I slashed them to bits. At some point I was like "I want to change my character and play the game properly" O_O which made no sense and I kind of just lost lucidity around here. Now I'm in a main menu screen just thinking about the different stats I can have, I go into character selection and look at these different race cars. One of them is like a mouse racer, which is weak but fast (the only one I looked at properly). After this I seem to remember being in an alleyway but I forgot the rest.
Updated 09-08-2015 at 06:49 AM by 71238
I was an agent in the Matrix. I received information that redpills have breaken into the Matrix, and are looking for something on a construction site. With two other agents I quickly took over workers and ran after them. We chased them into a dead-end, and started to fight. I smashed concrete with bare fists, giving some heavy strikes to redpills. Somehow, they managed to push us back, and ran back to construction site. I quickly took over a forklift driver, and drove after them with as much speed as forklift can offer, which is not too much. However, it was enough to kill one of them with fork, but two of them escaped. Suddenly Matrix received an error, and I found myself in my house. It was a big party over there, and a total mess. There was a blonde woman close to me. She was wearing a blue dress, and she had glasses. She started the conversation, talking about her recent travels. I mentioned my latest trip, which ended with rights to classify wood resource types and sell them. She was interested in the topic, but she had to go. I wandered the corridor for a while, and then I just woke up in my bed. Next I went to the toilet.
First dream I went out of my home, and entered a car with rest of family. Somehow, it contained ten persons, with everyone having comfortable space. We drove to my school. With my younger sister we entered the toilet. Just as we entered the room, a powerful force closed the doors and attacked us. It tried to push us into a portal of some kind, also scratching and trying to break limbs. Someone opened the doors to the toilet, and I managed to escape from the ghost. However, my sister was still there. I quickly grabbed the doors, preventing them to close. The ghost was strong, and I almost lost with it, but then two other girls entered the toilet, and told us about the way to banish the ghost. There were three sinks and two liquid soap dispensers in the toilet. Used in correct order they would weaken the ghost, and then washing your hands in each of sinks would banish the ghost for good. They did that while I was holding the door, and then we went away. We headed to stairs, and went to lower floor. As we were going to entrance, my older brother appeared in front of us, shouted "Wakka-Takka-Tobbaco!" in high and annoying voice, and with light speed he ran upstairs. False awakening I was on a ten day course, far away from my house. I entered the toilet, and turned the lights on. I went closer to toilet seat, and looked to a bathtub. There was a dude taking a bath in there. I said "You really should close the doors. And turn the lights on too." while peeing.
New totalitarian regime took over the world. I decided to escape that world, and ran away from cities to a desert that was used as waste disposal until the toxicity level was too high. I wanted to create my world there, changing climate, weather, buildings and landscapes with moves of my hands. I created beautiful swamps, forests and moors. Fields, rivers and villages. The world was beautiful but empty, as no one lived in there. I decided to call for divine intervention, and quickly a god answered my prayers. It was a Random Numbers God. He send me a prophet - a pretty, tall, redhead lady. She told me to retrieve Supernatural Dices, and my prayers would be rewarded. I ran back to part of wasted desert that was not changed by me, and called for the prophet. She appeared immediately, and gestured. A rock spire with a teleport on top of it shot out of ground. I jumped on top of small penninsulas, and jumped into the portal. I landed on a platform hanging in void. It had huge leaves floating on water as floor. The water was muddy, though I could see crocodiles swimming in it. My mission was simple - run to the end of it, get the dices, and run back. On the way I had to jump on the platforms, punch crocodiles and pick up smaller dices, until I got to the end and received a huge die. I ran back, meeting the same obstacles. When I jumped out of portal, I threwn the dices at the lady and then... I appeared in my toilet. I was taking a bath in bathtub. Suddenly I just started to s**t into the water. I really felt it coming out of me, and then the whole bathroom started to stink. I cleaned it later on. I must've rolled lots of 1 when throwing dices at the lady. RNG never liked me.
I recall only one, weird and convulted fragment. I was in the toilet of my house. When I finished using it, the toilet seat started to fill itself with water, which slowly started to flow out of it. I felt the water touching my feet, and I saw that I have no shoes on. I went to find my shoes, which were outside my house, swimming in the sewage waste flowing out of toilet window. I got them and went back to house, so I could clean them. Everything started to look weirdly stretched, but it wasn't a change in the world. I saw that my neck is getting weirdly stretched back.
Casey's Here I'm in my bedroom at my house, but it's my old bedroom. I think I was sleeping when Megan came in. Megan says I should get up or something. It felt rude. She says that her old friend was over. Megan leaves the room. I take a massive drink from my water jug, finishing about 80% of it. I'm disappointed that I finished that much, as that needed to last my the whole day. I begin getting ready and try some clothes on. I try a heavy brown jumper on. I quite like it, but it's a tad big maybe. I go through a lot of clothes, with a lot being ugly or too big etc. I think one of them is dads. Daryl comes Into the room with a massive plastic water container, which he places on my bed. I hear Casey's voice in the house. I anticipate Jane or someone coming in to get me to come out and socialize. As I come out, the guests have left. I sit on the couch eating a small tub of coleslaw. Jane walks in and asks if I'm ready for a bike ride. I'm not sure if I'm keen at first, but decide I probably should. Jane shows us some food that we can have, which was a sourdough roll. I get up and walk over to the bench. Daryl is telling me that this place really brings out his beautiful eyes. I examine them closely and see that they're light blue mostly. They seem to be still changing as its a bit patchy. Off To A Bad Start I'm at a house and there seems to be a bit of a gathering going on. I'm on the toilet which is in a bedroom. I have the runs. It doesn't have a pleasant smell to it. I wipe my ass and get shit on my jumper or something. It drips onto the floor and leaves a stain. I'm not feeling too good about that, and try to see if I can rub it out, or blend it in with the carpet somehow. I try to find some more toilet paper, eventually finding some near the toilet itself. My brother is now using the toilet, and he realizes I still need to use it. He grabs the toilet bowl and moves it closer to him. Im a bit shocked with what I just saw. He is pissing into the bowl and almost filling it to the top. The toilet bowl falls over and piss goes everywhere. I feel a little better about myself that I'm not the only one that made a mess in the bedroom. A bit of piss gets onto the side of the bed. I smell the sheets to see if it reeks of piss. It doesn't. I'm in the kitchen and there are people at the table. I decide to play a game where I have to sell product to them. I see 3 vita biscuits on a plate. I pick up the plate and tell them my pitch, which goes a bit like this. "Ok I have these rare biscuits here. The reason they're rare is due to the ingredients and the culture of them. You know how normal flour is used for making biscuits? Well this isn't normal flour. This is MOON DUST Aka Moon Flour. Also If you look at the 3 biscuits, they have a different color to them. I call this the multicultural biscuits. One is dark, other is medium and last is lightest of the colors." I had a black hooded jacket on, with the hood over my head when doing the pitch. I really put some professionalism into the pitch, even put on the goofy fake voice they do. As I finished, I continued my act and walked out like I was overly cocky with what I had achieved. I feel a bit embarrassed with what had just happened. I'm outside and there's an announcement of a man performing a triple backflip on a BMX and eventually landed it after many tries in practice. I think to myself that someone recently performed a quadruple backflip on BMX and that this may have been the one he was talking about. It's night time and I see the set up for the show. It looks like nitro circus which is sponsored by red bull. I see a man go down a big ramp, he's connected to a metal chariot. The horse is made out of metal also. He's flying around the track and notice that he's in a wheel chair. He disconnects from the chariot and flys across what looks to be water. He doesn't make it all the wave and falls off the side of the narrow path. The scene changes and I'm seeing Daryl run from a girl. Everyone is playing hide and seek. I decide to join in and hide behind these thick trees. There are a lot of trees near one another. Daryl climbs the tree and is hesitant to go any higher. I think that's the right option as there isn't much to hold onto, apart from the trunk. I keep an eye on Daryl incase he falls onto me. I imagine if I was up there and fell, would anyone catch me? And if they did, would it work out ok. I see the girl coming my way. I decide to run to the side of her, hoping to be covered by the trees. She spots me and I run quickly towards a safe zone. I reach the safe zone, but the hole to enter it is too small. I think I try another hut which allows me in. The roof is cut off the hut. Me and the other guy in there are poking our heads out. We're talking about Julian Wilson the pro surfer. I meet up with some people from the gathering. I don't feel too comfortable due to drinking the night before. I see my cousin Trev. He's sitting in a covered area. There's a lot of cars on top of the small hill. I see Trev's dad, and give him a wave. My dad is walking towards me also. I'm a bit shocked to see him come to something like this.
#445 - DILD - ??? OK I'll keep this entry super short and summarized because it was a total flop are far are lucid dreams go. I have a strange bathroom experience with the toilets flushing by themselves and the usual public restroom oddness I bounce from this to having repeated false awakenings over and over and eventually do a nose plug. I have a type of in-dream-WILD and get out of bed. The dream is extremely unstable and I do my best to stabilize. I eventually find myself admiring some super detailed but, very plastic, wood veneer before giving up on the dream totally thinking that I ran out of REM cycle. Of course, I go on to having some other super vivid and detailed non lucid dream soon after.
I was sneaking inside a huge manor that was mafia's possession. The frontyard was highly secured, but I found a way through the fence, and moved closer to the front door. I entered the manor - the place was built with marble and ornamented with other expensive stones, crystals and other valuables. My mission wasn't to steal valuables, but to get something that is stored in the highest floor. Entrance hall opened to stairways to the right and left, but there were security guards there. I entered one of the offices, but one of the guards probably saw me, and alerted the others. I looked for a way out, and found a window. I smashed it, and looking up saw that I can climb to another window. I smashed the second window, but before climbing I had to remove parts of glass that could harm me. I went out of office to see if the alert is off, but coming back I saw that a guard DC appeared there. I jumped past him, and he disappeared. I moved something on the table, and a secret room opened. It looked like mafia had their private dungeon. Instead of exploring it, I jumped from the window and ran into boss' toilet. There was comfortable and expensive bathtub. Suddenly I took a toothbrush out of my pocket, took the toothpaste from boss' shelf and brushed my teeth. As I was about to go, another DC guard ran into the room and saw me. He made an alert while I ran for the street. Something was not right, people behaved weird. Every person on the street had some weapons. There was a granny with a Glock gun. They were swarming around me, trying to kill me. Suddenly I found myself on my frontyard. I thought "This must be a dream!" and everything became much more detailed and vivid. My senses have become stronger. I jumped over my fence, and ran to the mafia house. Instead of entering it, I tried to climb up the roof and enter it from the chimney, but there was a strange force field blocking my way to the roof. I jumped down, and entered the boss' toilet. A guard DC ran inside again. I made a gun gesture with my left hand, and when he entered, shot him in the leg. He have fallen on the floor, I shot him in artery and he bled to death quickly. But the way was not clear yet. Boss with his bodyguard entered the toilet. I shot down the bodyguard, but the Boss was resistant to my shots. I took body of the bodyguard on my back and feigned that I was him. It was heavy and really slowed me down. The Boss couldn't tell a difference. We moved out of the toilet and he told me "Look at that clock." He pointed at Big Ben clock tower in the distance. Somehow, I couldn't read the hour. He told "What's going to happen soon?" I changed my voice so it was similar to city guards from Thief: The dark project and said "Ummmm... MY BIRTHDAY!!!" I jumped like a happy little child. The boss facepalmed and gave me irritated look. Then he said "No, you moron! It's half past six!" Suddenly I have awakened, just a moment before my father appeared to wake me up.
I was in school. With a few persons I entered the toilet, and when I wanted to exit, the doors were closed. One person had keys, but they have broken when he tried to open the doors. I walked all around and examined the toielt. It was clean, and luckily there was no stench. There was a window, but it was too high to reach, and there were no ways to open them. I entered one of the cabins and waited. Suddenly I heard some noises, and I went to check what's going on. I saw that the doors were still closed and thought "Why haven't we tried to kick them open?" I kicked the doors with little to no force, and they opened setting us free. I headed towards the stairway, which was surrounded by student DCs and a DC teacher. They told me "Now! You have to do this!" I stood there confused, but then I realised that they want me to make RC. I did the nose-plug RC, but somehow it haven't made me lucid. I ran towards the cloakroom, took my stuff from the locker and exited the building. It was cold and rainy. I followed three persons. They have noticed me, but I still followed them. I went away from them on a nearby crossroad, and entered a bus. I bought a ticket and sat down. When I did this, I travelled back in time. I was an adventurer in XIV century. I was wandering a huge primeval jungle. My mission was to accumulate food, so we could stop crisis in Europe. When trying to take some fruits and wild growing potatoes, I was attacked by strange, colorfull birds. I knew they were a huge threat for my expedition, and fought with them using my sabre. When they finally flewn away, I called for expedition. People appeared and took plants so they could grow them in Europe.
The Chosen One Im on a beach and I can see a old style ship. It's decent sized, estimating at around 20x10. They seem old school in the way they operated the ship. It was all powered by man power. Two men were rowing at the front side of ship, and the controller was around the middle. Majority looked of Asian descent. I must have got there attention. I had a talk with someone on the ship about something. I'm now with another male, being lead by a female. We reach a house and I'm chosen out of the two of us. I'm unsure what's going on at this point, but start to realize that I may be able to have sex with her. We're in the bathroom and I really need to have a poo in the toilet. Eventually she leaves the bathroom and I get to business. I make sure I spray near the toilet as it smells pretty bad. I'm walking towards the lounge room, where I see her on the couch, I've gotta mention that she's pretty good looking and I want to please. I begin doubt my performance, and panic that I may blow my load too quickly. I see her with a blanket over the top of her and decide to start from the bottom to the top. I'm naked at this point and begin to suck her toes, but I seem to have trouble doing so. I seem to be rubbing my face on her foot instead of sucking on her toes. Some sucking and some face rubbing going on. I think about mounting her and tease her a little. I see either another female or the same one i was with, not sure. It seems that another scenario, like the one I was in where 1 was chosen, except both guys were chosen by the looks of it. They seemed pretty happy guys. Side Notes Even though I only remembered 2 dream last night, I deeply and completely accept myself, and i remember all my dreams tonight Even though I forgot to recall majority my dreams upon awakening, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I recall my dreams upon awakening tonight I think I need to simplify these mantras in a different way, but will continue with them for a while. Had a massive anxiety attack when waking up throughout night. Also felt as I was going to choke when I swollowed. I did some EFT which took the edge off the anxiety.
FA - Funeral Wreath of Quicker and Merciful Death I woke up in my bed. It was dark everywhere. I decided to go to the toilet. When I wanted to turn the lights in the toilet on, I saw that there are some new switches and a plaque saying that it was made by European Union. I look at the first switches note, and it said "For Poles in European Union". I used the switch, but it haven't done anything. I looked at a note for the second switch - "For smoking Poles". I used it and the effect was the same. The third switch was "For Poles that want to use toilet". I used the switch, and it haven't done anything too. I concluded that the energy is out, and decied to go to the kitchen instead. When I reached the room I saw my pal sitting on a coach and my mother taking something out of a box. The room was faintly lit by a candle. From the couch I could see a mirror in the corridor next to kitchen. The conversation started: Me: What are you doing? Mother: A Funeral Wreath of Quicker and Merciful Death. Me: Who would want something like that? Pal: Right. Who want's it? Mother: I'm afraid that no one would like to see it, even if it helps some suffering people. Then the mirror in the corridor caught my attention. I looked at it, and suddenly felt a cold chill going down my spine.
Ritual: WTB 2:30am, woke up to work from 5:30 to 6:30am, realized I'd drunk too much coffee before bedtime and have trouble going back to sleep. I figure as long as I'm insomniac, might as well try for LD and take some L-theanine and alpha-GPC. I try counting but have trouble focusing, realize I need more motivation so resolve on a task. I had been thinking earlier about the use of mantras for getting lucid, and I've had trouble deciding on one so I thought I should ask a DC. WILD, "Balloon and Mantra": Since it seemed to initiate directly from the waking state, I guess this was a WILD though there was no distinct experience of transition, at least in the way I usually experience it (shifting into dream while continuing to perceive that I am lying in bed). At the beginning it felt more like hypnagogic imagery that I was playing around with, but gradually acquired more solidity and focus. (Or maybe that's the "normal" way people do it, haha.) I'm on top of a building, playing catch with two other girls. We're throwing a ball around between us counter-clockwise. The girl to my left spikes the ball to make it hard for me to catch, so I retaliate by throwing it right back at her when she's not expecting it, instead of continuing to pass to the other girl. She says it's not fair because she wasn't paying attention. I retort that I did it because of the way she was playing. The game becomes more leisurely and the ball becomes a balloon. I sit down and I'm practicing moving it telekinetically. The balloon is making the kind of strange echoing sounds that you hear when handling real balloons, only strongly magnified. I'm impressed with the way my mind can conjure that unusual but distinctive sound which I probably haven't heard in years. Although the sound component of the dream is impressively vivid, the visuals are terrible. The whole scene is in grainy black and white, and the balloon is white too, which makes it very hard to see against the sky when I bounce it up into the air. At one point I launch it away from me and lose sight of it altogether. When I go to summon it back, instead of the balloon returning to my hand, my right hand is contorted with a strange sensation, like it's being squeezed. Around this time, everything switches over to bright color, brilliant blues and pinks. It happens as suddenly as turning on a light, and makes everything look much more vivid and cheerful. I figure this is REM switching on more fully, and comment to one of the DCs, "Hey, color just kicked in!" I notice that instead of the two girls, there are now at least a dozen of them, and they seem to be having a dance party. I hear a bouncy pop song playing in the background. I get up and wander through the group, then suddenly I remember the task I had designated as I went to sleep. I approach a girl at random. She's dressed very unusually and elaborately, probably day residue from a Chinese painting I was looking at in WBTB, and I'm doubtful about whether she will be able to help, but figure it can't hurt to ask. "I'm looking for a lucid dream mantra," I begin, then think I should explain more clearly what I mean. "Something that—" "Who is your mantra?" she interrupts. It's such an odd question that I stop and look more closely at her. Her face is pretty but blank. "That was my question," I reply, then wait to see if she'll have anything more helpful to offer. "Who is your mantra?" she repeats, in exactly the same tone and words, like a broken record. "That's what I'm trying to figure out," I insist. This is going nowhere. Reaching back with two hands I grasp the edges of a cloth, as though it were a scarf I were wearing around my neck, and draw it over both our heads. Now the two of us are alone in the dark, face to face, with just a bit of the background peeping through under the edges of the cloth behind her. Although I had performed the gesture instinctively, my intention was to blot out the distractions so I could try to communicate with the girl more effectively. A more rational course would have been to find someone else to ask, or ask the dream directly, but I got too caught up in my determination to try to make her understand. My approach was not helpful, however, as this deconstruction of most of the dream environment makes me lose traction and wake up. FAs: I had gotten up and was nearly ready for work. I went to use the bathroom before leaving and stood there dumbfounded: everything else looked normal, but the toilet was gone! I recognized immediately what this must mean. "You've got to be freakin' kidding me," I said aloud. Usually I would be delighted to realize I was still dreaming, but this time I already felt like I'd invested a lot of time in getting ready for my day, and now I would have to do it all over again, so I was actually annoyed. My lucid awareness must have been pathetically low, because instead of doing something cool with the dream or thinking of one of my many fallback tasks, I stood there until I had successfully conjured the toilet back into place, because I still wanted to use it! Then I noticed that the clarity of the dream was waning and in an attempt to restore focus, told myself: "Open your eyes." But I accidentally opened my real eyes, waking up! It was a fail on so many levels. I wanted to get back to the dream state so again I tried to play along with hypnagogic visuals. I had an image of a three medieval-looking riders in a wooded hillside. There was a male, a female, and one other. I was loping after them in the form of a wolf. The scene felt stronger and more stable than the usual hypnagogic imagery, but less tangible than a fully manifested dream. I realized that I instinctively knew the names of the man and the woman. (I suspect the indistinct third was their servant or page.) After I had nearly caught up with the riders, I worried that if they noticed me in wolf form they might shoot me with an arrow, so I transformed into a woman (nude, I noticed) and caught their attention. They turned around one exclaimed, "A forest sprite!" I "woke up" (I might have even had a vague sense at the time that it was not a real waking, since it still felt too "thin" for a proper dream) and tried to write down their names on my computer. The man's came so easily that it left no trace in memory, but the woman's name took me a lot of effort to type correctly, and I kept making mistakes and having to fix them. On the bright side, this meant that I still remembered it clearly when I woke up for real later. Her name was "Gwynrse," which I took to be Welsh.
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