Interesting notes: I didn't remember the earlier dreams at all after a bit, but I had the desire to do so. After falling back to sleep I actually remembered the earlier dreams inside the dream. You can actually recall forgotten dreams inside dreams because it's the same state of mind? alien school I was in a school. There was an alien invasion of a sort and most people were unaware that it was happening. Me and my friend snuck out at night to check out somewhere near the park or river and stole something from the alien camp. We went back to school the next day and it seemed like the alien under the guise of the person was aware that we might have been behind whatever but he didn't have solid proof that it was us. We went out that night again to do rest of whatever we had to do to foil their plans. ... bowling ... The search broken time machine Me and my companion went back in time with some sort of device that looked like a round amulet to go back into time or different worlds. We were back here to look for something or learn about how the world worked back then. We appeared on top of a a grassy hill but noticed that our device ws malfunctioning though. There was a cave nearby and there was some sort of treasure there... But we went to the city after though to maybe look for parts to repair our device. Ended up in a conference room. There was a tall blonde guy with short hair there among other people. A little person came and began asked who stole his thingy. I forgot what he said but it was like a treasure of sorts (related to the cave?) I decided to help the tall guy who stole it. I took a chair and swung it at him and he just dodged it so gracefully. I decided to turn the chair to the other side with the legs in my hand and he ran away. We ended up somewhere where there was the treasure. There were red lasers there that protected it. ... cat girl meditate I was inside the house #34, I forgot what I did early on. I came back and wanted to rest so I'd headed upstairs to the smaller bedroom. I went in and laid down but there was a cat there. I think there were 2 cats, but only 1 of them was on the bed and just kept wanting to snuggle and it rubbed against me. It was pretty cute so I just let it be as I went to sleep and it did appear to fall asleep too. When I came to I found the kitten snuggle again but it was transforming into a little girl. She went ahead and laid sheepishly down. I decided to get up and sat on the opposite side of the bed by the window I began to meditate there. I was downstairs after a while and M was there. I forgot what we did but she gave me a mission report. ... Trust issues vampire I was in the neighborhood of house #25, I went to a neighbhor's house and jack was there. There was a japanese boy there, I forgot his name, he had short hair and bad skin. I found something behind the tv and it was a bottle of pills, Yap told me to do whatever you want. It was like a birthday of a little girl here and everyone was getting into a costume and I was like put into a dress. We were headed elsewhere. It was a concert and the girl was singing, a mic was given to me and I sang, and I overshadowed her. I got kicked out... lol. I was outside and it was raining, bunch of shady looking people was there and I asked if I could hitch a ride since my wallet and phone was back there. A trio of folks drove me... but I didn't trust them. I ended up at Z's house and there was a house party inside. I found Z in the kitchen and cooking something. I told him what's up and he was listening and asked me to repeat what I said since it was drowned over by the sound of the pan. A vampire attacked everyone inside the house soon after. ... 2 elf girls There were 2 elves being captured. I think this was the continuation of the cave part from before. I remember there was a dwarf there inside the cave holding unto his treasure
This is the DJ entry I’ve been wanting to make for a while. Though I forgot to mention it in xcv I did try to incubate the dream about my clouds painting last night too. Lately I feel that I’ve made some progress in regards to dreaming overall but at the moment my biggest impediment feels wholly out of my control, and that’s the issue I have of taking between 60 to 90 minutes to fall asleep, regardless of the time of day/night. Falling asleep does feel easier when H is in bed at the same time but likewise I seem to lose focus of any thoughts about dream techniques much more easily. Even so, trying to incubate this dream about my painting has been helpful in that regard too since it’s helping me practice to stay in that focus even when H is in bed too. The dream incubation visualisations aren’t particularly imaginative but do go into all the minimum details I think I’d need to have in the dream anyway. I also try to insert personal dream signs into the visualisations. — About a week ago, I tried that thing of half-dreaming while listening to a full soundtrack again; and what I’ve noticed combined with my previous attempt is that generally it takes half an hour to start getting into that state (half the soundtrack roughly). This last attempt’s first half was preoccupied with those self doubting trivial thoughts that show up sometimes, but eventually I got over it. Though the half-dream state didn’t go as far as last time (poorer visuals and weaker sensations this time), it did work. Unfortunately, because of how it was a weaker immersion, it did take more conscious effort to stay focused on the sensations and so it felt a bit forced. The loudness or intensity of the music paired with the isolating nature of this particular set of headphones feels extremely important for achieving this, since it forces whole-body sensation while “disconnecting”, in a sense, from external input. My view on this is that the disconnect facilitates the half-dream state because it’s more like being asleep already even while still awake and semi-focused. The other factor of note was that this time I was more preoccupied about the outside world too; since I was home alone this time I ended up feeling very vulnerable while doing this (in a tense way). As well as that, the previous time I also did this when I was already starting to get sleepy at night time, but this time it was done during the afternoon. Overall I attribute the smaller success to these various factors and the fact that I was simply more distracted from what I was trying to do anyway. — The last note I think I’ll make is that my pain and tiredness have been bad for months, even on waking up, so a lot of times when I want to make note of dreams I really do feel incapable of it because of how tiring it feels. Still, this is all the more reason that I feel I’ve been fairly diligent and like I’m making progress about dreaming since I started being more active about the DJ again.
Woke up at around 6:30 in the morning from a dream. Had other dreams later but was too tired to make even small mental notes of the details, so no recall for those dreams. Dream and awakening: I woke up in the dream, I was apparently sleeping on a bed with dad. It looked like some version of my bedroom in the old place but it looked like my parent's room a bit too. I was too hot and the covers, the bed, etc, everything felt too hot. I got up and saw this big red fan heater H has, it was on the floor next to the bed. I woke dad up and asked him why the heater was here and why it was on. I thought of turning it off but for some reason didn't. I concluded from looking at the heater or something else that the room was at 49C. I felt particularly unwell and remember shortly walking about the dream room before I woke up in reality. I don't remember sweating, just exhaustion really. In reality H was pressed a bit too much against me and I felt that the bed was far too hot. I thought we might have left the heated blanket on through the night, but seemingly it was off. I went for a wee that I didn't realise I really needed, after H also got up because of the noise I had made stumbling around. Notes: - This type of dream is very typical for when I need to wake up for some biological reason, in this case needing a wee. - Being in the same bed as dad was common when I was a child; I'd often get into bed with my parents in the middle of the night, usually sleeping between them. But I can't really remember why I did that anymore or what made me wake up in the first place. I don't recall any negative emotions from back then.
Yesterday was quite a busy day so even though I'd made notes on waking, didn't get a chance to write the dreams on the DJ here. There's a fragment from today too. Last night I tried to incubate a dream about a painting I have on my easel at the moment. I want to figure out how to do these clouds like another painting I've seen very recently. Unfortunately every time I was in the process of visualising the dream and setting intentions to become lucid etc., my thoughts would start drifting away in a random direction and it would take me a little while before I realised this was happening each time. In the end I guess I just fell asleep, but had no dream that I can recall relating to this incubation. Either way, may continue to try and incubate this specific dream over the next few nights. If nothing else, it'll get me thinking about the painting. Dream Fragment, one day ago: My sibling T, driving. I'm in the car too, but on the back seat? It's dad's car I think, or something like it. Countryside roads and hilly landscape. The sky is a bit grey, but it's daytime. Looked more like here than there (old home). Someone else is in the car with us, not sure who, but they're of small stature. Female? Makes a comment on how good T's hair is looking. I think to myself, or perhaps even comment out loud about how much better the hair does seem versus the last few years. Scrap, one day ago: Fighting/shooting in a game. A mix of Unreal Tournament and a tank game I've played more recently. Dream Fragment, today: I was playing or in World of Warcraft. I was playing a female gnome rogue and was in the Wetlands, I remember the grungy and practically wet atmosphere quite well. I saw another gnome player, but they were a Horde character somehow. I noticed they'd spotted me so I used stealth and waited for them to come past. I opened with a stun from stealth and then after the stun I tried to manage my energy so that I'd be able to interrupt any spells as they'd start casting. The enemy gnome was a mix of a warlock and a mage? I seem to remember winning the fight but it felt like it took a very long time. No notes.
First night of having two unrelated lucid dreams! I didn't use any specific technique, only had some deep meditation before bed. After about six hours of sleep I had a long non-lucid dream taking place at my parents' house. It was rather uneventful and a bit annoying. When I finally went lucid I was just standing in the kitchen discussing something with my parents. I don't know what triggered lucidity and I didn't even need to RC as I was immediately sure (and I knew I was at my home in reality). As I had enough of that nonsense dream I turned around and walked away, straight through the closed door. I wondered if my parents would comment on me leaving like this but only my mother yelled: "Come back here!" Btw, she wouldn't talk to me like that irl. Outside I looked around and inspected some of the neighbors' gardens. In front of me was a small, overgrown area with lots of bushes and other plants, to the left a larger lawn with only some flowerbeds at the edges. The overgrown garden seemed more interesting to me, so I went there. It was full of large blooming bushes, smaller flowers and lots of other green stuff. I remembered that I had planned to taste something in a LD, so I took a large white blossom from a bush taller than me with dark green leaves and slowly ate one petal after the other while walking around the garden. It looked similar to a rose blossom and tasted, well, somewhat flowery, but also delicate and slightly resinous and sweet. For quite some time the dream was stable and very vivid but eventually I thought of me sleeping irl and slowly woke up. In the next sleep cycle I had a long dream once again, this time about travelling. I can't recall the details but at one point I looked into the sky and a strange shape was flying above me: two helicopters with an empty seat between them, held by a number of ropes. It looked exciting but also dangerous to fly like that over the landscapes. The next moment I was lucid and didn't care about the risk anymore, so I teleported into the seat somehow (no idea how exactly). There I was flying with enormous speed above fields and villages, with a stunning view. I opened my arms wide and also stretched my legs, so that I felt the wind intensely. In the meantime the helicopters had transformed into two people flying alongside me (I think they had jetpacks but I didn't check) holding me by my arms. The wind under my feet was so strong it almost felt solid. We were going even faster than before, soon reaching the coastline and flying over the sea. Here, we went down to the water surface, so that the whole thing resembled a weird kind of waterskiing. A mother and her daughter were looking from the beach, saying: "That looks like lots of fun!" The water was crystal clear and I could see sandbanks and seaweeds beneath me. Just when I wondered if there were jellyfish as well, I woke up.
Last night i took 300mg of Valerian root. Went to sleep at like 2 am and woke up at like 5:30. (I've been watching Breaking Bad and that translated into the dream in a way). When i woke up i remembered the dream more clearly, but i didnt write down all the details cause my hand was shaky. The dream felt so real. Anyways i dreamt that i was in a parking lot of a shopping or some large building. I was with my dad, my younger sister and there were some other people there. I don't remember what happened, but my dad felt threatened by two guys so he wanted to shoot them before they shoot or extort him. He thought about it for like a minute, walking back and forth in the parking lot around the crowd. I think all that walking and thinking draw attention from these guys, i mean more attention than he already had, so when he went close and pulled a gun the guys also pulled their guns. He shot one of them and he dropped dead, but the other guy shot back right before he was shot, and so my dad was hit in the stomach. The second guy dropped dead too. After that was over, my dad started walking around the parking lot, he was freaking out because he was shot. I went to him to calm him... (i'm thinking i shouldn't have been so gentle because it was an emergency) and gently i stopped him and laid him down. I made him press his wound and i pressed it too. He did that and i knew that he was calmer, and that he was willing to accept that others take care of him. Meanwhile i shouted call an ambulance. The people in the crowd were already on it, and some of them were assisting the other 2 shot people. Apparently they weren't dead, but they were badly wounded. Then i see my dad starts closing his eyes and i try to focus on feeling if he was breathing since i had him on my arms. I couldn't feel anything so i start worrying, but knowing i had to CPR. I don't know how to CPR so i started panicking. While i attempt to CPR as i can, i start screaming for help. My dad kinda opened his eyes again, it's like he came back, but he was still unconscious. A woman came by to help. She was a kinesiologist. She noticed that my CPR worked so she didn't do anything regarding that, but she also noticed that his hip was dislocated, so she adjusted it and said "he must have been in real pain from that". Then she said that an ambulance was coming (i still worried because there were 3 shot people... not just 1) and she left to keep assisting the other 2 people. Oh and my sister was nearby this whole time too. Then i woke up. The dream felt so real.. not in the sense of vividness so much but emotionally perhaps, or also on how i would act in a given situation. When my dad flatlined i really thought i was going to lose him and my mind in that moment cleared to give priority and sole focus to this urgency. I value dreams like these, even if you wanna call them nightmares, because they allow you to experience a situation without really affecting the conditions IRL. So IMO you get to live, feel an experience, get to know how you'd act, how you might react, without having the way things are modified IRL. This is just one way dreams can be 'profitable' to life experiences, and the effort put into trying to remember dreams, among other things, is definitely worth it.
Morning of March 4, 2020. Wednesday. Dream #: 19,434-02. Reading time: 1 min 24 sec. My final passive lucid dreaming event (before I allow it to dissipate) in the first stage of my sleep cycle includes audio only (with no imagery or physicality): “I’ll stay with him until he dies.” (It is the preconscious cue closing the final gate to conscious awareness in entering deeper sleep. The first hour or so of every sleep cycle all my life has consisted of vivid lucid dreams of various types.) The unfamiliar voice is masculine but somewhat artificial as the formant is too high (though still coarse) to sound human. Later, instinctual awareness of being asleep results in an unusual scene implied to be from a movie. It features a male high school principal’s corpse on the top shelf of a hall closet. It seems someone may have killed him. It is the rendering of a sleep simulacrum, which is a factor of every sleep cycle. He represents the cessation of cognizance and the lack of discernible physicality while asleep, though sleep simulacrums only stem from mortality analogies with emergence from a deeper sleep. As an additional result of that process, a parallel analogy emerges into my dream’s imaginary narrative. The Annabelle doll appears in an undefined room. (The association is that physicality is not feasible while asleep, so I am like a doll.) However, it is not ugly (as in the movies). It is about the height of a six-year-old and has blood on the shoulders of its dress. There is another (unknown) male doll of about the same height. Throughout this scenario, there is only cheerfulness in my belief I am guiding the continuity of a movie. Even so, I instinctually anticipate somatosensory dynamics and pick up both dolls (which vivifies my dreaming experience), and I walk through the mostly featureless room. As I carry the dolls, my instinctual awareness of imaginary proprioception increases, and as a result, I find an antique pair of roller skates (the kind without shoes). I put my feet on them, and as I am doing this, my dream becomes increasingly vivid. Eventually, after some realistic movement, my dream fades without discernible waking dynamics.
Dream 1: All I remember is me looking in the mirror and seeing I had longer hair, like I did in elementary. Just about down to my sohulders. I kinda liked it too XD
Two dreams this morning, made notes soon after waking up. Need to make a little in-between DJ entry at some point with notes on how things have been going and to make note of what type of thoughts I've been having, so I can look back later and have an idea of how I was framing things at this time. Dream Fragment: At a computer somewhere. Visuals feel narrow, a bit of tunnel-vision, kind of? Also not really aware of my position, feels odd, like maybe I'm slumping but not. I'm playing this side-scroller game, a graphic novel of sorts. It looks half sketch/half digital paint, and seems to be focused on furry themes. I'm concerned when my parents would walk in, in turns, to ask me questions about something else. I worry that the game might show something indecent at those times. I have a vague recall of the art from the game, but it was all a bit jumbled anyway, like a weird collage of sorts. Dream Fragment: I was in a city area of some kind, similar to old home. I was walking around with scattered groups of people. Mostly people from high school I think, some friends, some teachers. Most of them were the ages from around the time I knew them, I suppose because I haven't seen them since school. I remember crossing some bridges, with fantastic views. Some cyclist event, had to watch out for them, my friend Da was there and he was trying to help us as a group be aware of the cyclists. Then there was a more park-like place after that. Still night but I think this is around where it starts to change. At this point I had thoughts of being sick of walking slowly, hence I started to want to separate from the group (this feels like a metaphor somehow). I also started cutting through the grass and rocky bits between the paths. I'd jump down some small ledges too. I remember seeing both JCs there. JoCo and JoCa. I had the feeling of a backpack on me, but faintly. I did notice better that I had my modern boots on, and I could feel and hear them whenever I jumped from those small ledges. But I was also afraid that my ankles would give way when I did the little hops, as it has always been a problem for me. I was also concerned I was being stupid like having my hands in pockets or whatever when jumping, again, bad experience of needing my hands for balance or catching myself at the wrong time. The dream went from dark night with street lights to orange sunrise morning by the end, and unlike many dreams it was just very gradual, there wasn't a super sharp change. Then I was mostly separated and ahead of everyone. There was this car parked on the pavement that went down to the left, around a corner. At this point in the dream I remember having thought that I was starting to memorise this place and that I could find my way around better. In the dream I remember very clearly I had been in this area before. Then, I got into the car, Yuna from Final Fantasy was there. We were waiting for Auron, who in the dream was supposedly a summoner. I woke up soon after this, with one of Vivaldi's four seasons in my head. Spring or Summer I think. Notes: - The first dream probably relates to a lot of aspects of my life despite how short the dream seemed to be; there's a few key notions there: -- The idea of parents frequently nagging/interrupting something. Something I'm glad to be free of now. -- The idea of a disconnect between me and them as child/parent. Something I often wonder about if I had a child of my own. -- The idea of wanting to belong inside a realm of fantasy; in the most childlike interpretation of this idea and of the word "fantasy". - The other notion is this recurring issue I have with all my artwork, where I sort of just "drop it", even when it's nearly completed. I often leave projects half-baked and forget about them or feel like it's too difficult to return to them because I don't know what I was doing anymore. The half-sketch/half-painted nature of the drawings in the dream feels very much linked to this. Very recently I've had the thought of coming back to some paintings I made months ago and trying to add more detail, especially one that I had hoped to sell but that didn't manage to actually sell. - A lot of the content in the second dream seems to be directly connected to teen years and life as a child. Primarily, the whole "walking somewhere in a group" thing was very familiar to road trips but also to walking back home from school. - Most of the locations in the second dream were very interesting. Makes me think of the places I might build myself in the city building game I've been playing. But also many of these places were similar and familiar to places from my childhood. - Last night while I was playing Final Fantasy, I had a passing memory for no apparent reason. I think it was a location in the game that triggered it, because my cousin used to play this Final Fantasy and other ones quite a lot. I remembered being on the highway, headed back home from the North, after visiting my cousin. This had triggered a sort of chain of memories. This entire dream felt very closely related to that cluster of memories.
After several days of being sleep deprived this was my first night of getting enough sleep again. So, I wasn't completely surprised when I had a couple of false awakenings in the last sleep cycle. As far as I remember I recognized all of these sooner or later but every time I went lucid the dream would reset to waking up in bed (at my parents' house). There I was hardly able to move most times, with both the dream and my lucidity being somewhat unstable. After some repetitions this got quite frustating. Annoyed I fought my way out of bed and crossed the room. All I wanted to do then was get outside, so I just walked on to the wall. Furniture got in the way, so I simply said 'everthing is immaterial' and went right through. I got outside but it was very dark and the dream started to collapse. Quickly I got down on my hands and knees, running my fingers through the grass. At this point the dream reset again and I was suddenly on my bed, still on hands and knees and feeling the grass beneath me. Somehow my vision and sense of touch got out of sync here. Otherwise the stabilization technique worked, the dream felt stable and I was completely lucid at last. Sadly, my alarm went off at this point... But this led to a strange, intriguing situation: I was still in the dream, fully aware and hearing the ringing 'from reality'. I wondered if I could just ignore it and carry on but once again I couldn't move anymore, so I gave in and let myself wake up.
Jesus A series of dreams about jesus. In one i am in the phillipines or something. There is a cult that practices crucifiction... on themselves. I sign up for it for some reason and when I am hanging on a cross Jesus is on a cross next to me and says, "You don't have to do this my sons for I have already have done it for you." In another dream he mentions I should travel to Georgia state. Jamie dreams various sex related dreams, but i won't go into detail. Well i hoped for a better week, it's what I got. No complaining here. Plane Dream about waking up on a plane. i look out the window and it is night time. We are very closely above some tree tops. The ride feels smooth. i just watch the scenery go by for a while... Death I was at some event with some girls I know. one girl I used to work with kept getting stabbed by a sword from another girl. In another part of the dream I was looking for something. There are more details but I forget them.
Two or three dreams. Initially didn't hold on to details so recall is a bit fuzzy overall. Dream Fragment: I was in dad's scenic, sat at the back. Someone else, too, maybe my sibling T? Mom was on the drivers seat, which was on the wrong side for the car. We're in the middle of some city. It feels like a familiar place but doesn't seem to be anywhere specific; it's sunny and I remember green trees. We're close to some parking spaces. Mom gets a call on her phone and has to take it so for some reason she gets out of the car. I step out too and with a gesture suggest that I can park the car. She gestures back a "sure, whatever", obviously concentrating on the conversation on the phone; I then get in the driver's side. At first I drive forward a bit and then start reversing and turning into one of these parking spaces that was free next to some other parked cars. I get it nearly right, smack in the middle on the first try but I remember feeling the pedals and that reversing felt a bit jerky, so I tried to take care. Still, I managed to let it jerk at the end of manoeuvring, making the back hit a stone wall that ran along behind the parking spaces. I could feel it was a small impact and only the plastic bumper would have touched the wall. Then dad appeared, walking across the front and commenting something? I sort of proudly told him about how I did or something. Dream Fragment: Some other dream. I remember being at my old home, in my former room. It's dark, the curtains are closed. I'm uncertain about what version of room layout this is in the dream. I was looking at texts on a phone, my first phone maybe? It was a red phone. I am my current age, however. I was checking a text from my childhood and school friend, Di. Looking back on texts before his reply, I had apparently messaged him, ages ago. He was now finally replying, saying he was sorry, but that he was now pan sexual or something. That didn't make much sense on its own, but I understood it to mean that he had become trans (similar sound?). Further, he said that he wouldn't be able to meet with me [ever again] because of [two letter acronym?]. I forget the rest of the text exactly but I remember feeling disappointed somehow. I had a number of passing thoughts about potential replies I could give, or whether it would be worth bothering at all. Other passing thoughts about how I used to remember him, and about how I could mention some funny memories in a text reply. Dream Fragment: There was a third dream but even though it was the last one, I don't really remember anything except that it was a city-building sim game of some kind. Notes: - In the second dream, I remember I felt overall sad and disappointed. I was happy that my friend had moved on or something, but I suppose I've never really let go of how our relationship as friends just evaporated over a number of years, for no special reason that I was ever able to discern. - In the first dream, while mom did use to drive, that was years ago before I was born. My mom hasn't driven since then at the very least. - Mom's distraction with the phone somehow feels related to how she's been behaving lately when she speaks to me on the phone; it's not that she's distracted from me, it's more that she's distracting herself. Some element of worry present here. - I and H have been playing a city-building game quite a bit lately, which is probably what the third dream was based on.
I was laying on my bed in the middle of the day with a pipe full of dried brown salvia leaves. I remember taking a hit of it and noticing how the leaves went from brown to green when I was smoking them. This could be seen as my first hallucination or as just a weird dream thing. Almost instantaneously I started hearing an oddly "synthetic" or artificial sounding shamanic music in my head as everything in my vision became wavey and brown/orange-tinted in color and I felt my physical being melting/decentigrating into what felt like a parallel dimension to ours. This caused me to feel like I was floating or levitating, which is typically the polar opposite of how actual salvia affects percieved gravity. I didn't quite break through but it felt like I was getting there. Do note that I didn't know too much about salvia before I woke up and researched it out of curiosity and my brain was mostly replicating what I remember from reading about other psychedelics like psilocybin mushrooms.
Updated 03-01-2020 at 06:28 AM by 89498
Recent Comments
