memorable

Afternoon of May 24, 2020. Sunday.

Reading time (optimized): 4 min.



Fire, lightning, electricity, wiring, circuits, lasers, candles, lightbulbs, flashlights, headlights, sunbeams, and the sun are fundamental characteristic features of the cortical arousal of the waking process and represent the increase of neuronal energy and the emergence of consciousness for anyone who legitimately understands the dream state.

Although the same transitions occur every sleep cycle, they stabilize with uniqueness in vivid liminal sleep-wake management. Here, I will include the modulatory factor in the upper case, a description of the relevant dream content, and the ultradian implication (with virtual or literal melatonin or serotonin mediation). My goal is to find correlations I had not previously noticed (to develop more clarity of mind, though, as there are more than 20,000 examples of this form of dream state management, it is not feasible to include more variables at this time. I may study them in pairs of variables at a later date, though I have found all major statistical curves and causal factors for most dream content over 50 years.)

Before I describe the many unique and intriguing versions of this process, I will begin with including my lifelong activity of pulling myself out of undefined liminal space (that has no imagery and seems integrated with enigmatic space) by summoning an unseen candle, perceiving my emerging consciousness as a candle flame. When this happens as a result of sleep apnea (though which is rare), and no vestibular-cerebral handshake (viable body-mind agreement), it is the only type of dreaming experience where I feel genuine fear. Variations of it are rare. One variation occurred in December of 1969. In addition to sustaining my consciousness as the essence of a candle flame, I also absentmindedly summoned an unseen dragon that roared and breathed fire. (Undefined liminal space never contains imagery. Also, the duality as a result of being between dreaming space and waking space is far less in this state. That is likely what causes a sense of dread.)

19690519. FIRE. Toby and I rescue Brenda from her burning house, though it is erroneously on the school grounds. Dark, before dawn. (Includes audio near the waking point: “You boys are wonderful!”)

19710209. LIGHTNING. Frankenstein’s monster is the driver of a taxi I get into (though I do not notice until I am sitting in it in the back seat, left side). I see lightning flashing only inside the school in the early morning on a clear day. There is a sense of amusement rather than a threat. As a school is associated with learning, the lightning represents potential wakefulness and is analogous to the monster rising from his bed. The taxi is analogous with my physical body, of which I do not yet have control, as I am asleep in reality. Otherwise, summoning vehicles as I often do, is more about increasing my imaginary physicality to enhance and sustain the dream state.

19710516. LIGHTNING and FIRE. A bolt of lightning comes down and strikes a church belfry in the distance, setting it afire, while I am on the otherwise empty school grounds with my mother. Dark, before dawn. (Includes audio: I say, "It’s not my fault” to my mother.) It is essentially a visual and visually exaggerated version of the candle-lighting process.

19740127. SPARKS and FIRE. I am at my middle school with my GI Joe jeep, though it is erroneously a remote control toy (confused with my remote control orange Volkswagon). Low lighting in the cafeteria. At first, I seem to be operating it, but the narrative changes. Sparks and fire begin near the gas pedal when it stops, but it does not spread. A moving vehicle (analogous to the body) typically represents the anticipation of a vestibular-cerebral handshake, and I often summon vehicles in all modes of dreaming. The fire near the gas pedal anticipates atonia to myoclonus, which is often a spontaneous leg kick with waking.

19791106. FIRE. In a parking lot (management of liminality during an absent vestibular-cerebral handshake), I see a car erupt into flames as its unknown owner enters it (though I feel no emotion or sense of dread). Curiously, as a result, the car reveals what looks like an oversized human ribcage that had been its top and sides. Nighttime, low light. It is a direct validation that a vehicle is analogous to the human body.

19820905. ANTHROPOMORPHIC LIGHTNING (ELECTRICITY). Early morning setting. An imp, about a foot tall, lives inside the kitchen cabinet under the sink. He seems to be made of electricity, though he maintains a sketchy human form and monitors the plumbing (seemingly with the pipe missing). Although he seems mischievous, I do not feel threatened. Later, I see Earl in the back of a car in a parking lot (liminal space management). He is instead the disabled man from a real advertisement in which he had said, “I’m a little tired. I’m alright though,” when rising from the water in an Olympic-size pool. It ties in with how the “electric imp” was a simulacrum of melatonin mediation. (The clue is the statement “I’m a little tired,” though unspoken in the dream, meaning I am sleeping, as water signifies the dream state’s dynamics.)

19901209 FIRE. I see the front-left heating element on the stove catch fire for no discernible reason in the otherwise dark Loomis Street kitchen. I feel no sense of threat. (Audio: An unknown girl exclaims “Fire!”) This variation of the candle flame summoning has an association with the area underneath the stove element as a virtual portal deeper into dream space.

20160222. CANDLE FLAME. I summon a giant candle to undo the magic of a male cult leader. (Audio: “…and now a golden candle, taller than me, appears here.”) (My dream was extremely long with a complex narrative.)

---

I include these detailed explanatory factors with each relevant series about my fundamental dreaming habits and their inherent dream-based meanings, so I can remove the more extensive redundancies from past entries (on my two main online dream journals), and keep this introductory page as a public reference for future entries.

---

In this dream, its the end of the world. The Apocalypse. The forces of evil lead by Lucifer, the deceiver have trapped my parents and I in this pit.

Satan arrives and presses a button on top of the pit. Next, the pit starts filling up with acid!

My parents and i embrace each other in a triangular shape. We love each other so much and share some final precious last words, prepared to die for our faith rather than cave in to evil.

The acid starts to eat our legs, I fall first. I embrace my parents legs as the acid kills me. The light fades and I welcome the blissful release into the oblivion of darkness....

...after dying, I end up in this simple square room with my dad! Amazed at being alive again and full of strong emotions, I look around the room. It has no furniture apart from a table in the middle with some chairs around it. A huge book is on top of the table. Its a book we have to write down our details on to register for the afterlife, heaven.

"Dad, we don't deserve this....Where is mother, she didn't make it?..Why did God save us, why are we here!!!" I was full of questions and asked my Dad. "Son, God is merciful, so very merciful. God knows every heart.

I woke up then really disturbed. The dream affected my emotions a lot! I still felt I had died. It was so real...

Sunday Night, 5/3/20

Dreamt that I ended up in the ER due to some serious respiratory issues. They gave me a bed right next to a couple people infected with coronavirus. They looked like they could be dying from it. I asked the nurse if it was safe for me to be in the same room, especially in my weakened state. She told me it was fine and that "They're six feet apart!". I wasn't reassured, especially since it was more like two feet. Is this even a real hospital? I wondered. This isn't the right procedure. I then noticed there was no medical equipment anywhere, just cots. I laid there, fading in and out of consciousness, wondering if this was where I would die. At some point I found the strength to escape from the place when no one was looking.

An involved plot followed where I got captured by a sociopathic serial killer in an abandoned industrial building. I managed to hold him down at one point but worried I wouldn't be able to maintain control of the situation until the police arrived. I don't think I did. The police did arrive, however. Three cops entered the building. I switched to the partial perspective of the lead detective, an older man close to retirement age. He/I instructed the others to split off and make a little noise to fake out the serial killer so he thought we were all approaching from a different side. Meanwhile I went off a different way as quietly as I could. The surprise ambush didn't work. The killer was holding a gun to the hostage, who was now actually a cat instead of a person. He gave me the ultimatum of taking a shot to the head to save the cat's life. I got the information that this cop was depressed and felt empty without his work to look forward to. He/I took the deal and for some reason I knew that the killer would adhere to the bargain... because he was just that particular brand of crazy.

I somehow survived after taking four gunshots to the head. I was not in great shape, however, and knew I needed to seek medical attention. I staggered out of the building and into the forest at night, making my way down the path. I gradually became myself again. I came to a short, rustic stairway with a wooden railing. Around that area I noticed a few swarms of flies. I stopped and stared for a while from a distance. I wondered about what type of flies they might be and why they were swarming here. I crept closer to get a better look and discovered that there was a dead crow laying on its back and that's what had drawn the flies to the area. I stared at the crow for a few moments, then I stepped past it and continued a short distance along the path until I reached the edge of a college campus. The Narrator spoke, telling me that I was going to be alright. I turned my face to the sky as dawn was approaching and lifted up into the air, drifting above the campus. The Narrator gave me instructions on which direction to travel. It seemed odd to me that I was flying but I reasoned that I must be in some sort of virtual reality simulation. Yes, that's it, that's why I heard a voice. I figured.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

The first part of the dream is likely at least partially a result of the shelter in place in waking life, although I hadn't been giving much attention to fears of getting sick, at least not on a conscious level. The serial killer was likely a result of watching a short documentary on a sociopath the day before. For me the end of the dream stood out the most: seeing the dead crow felt meaningful in some way, as did deciding to just walk past it and flying at dawn. Between the Narrator being present and the realization I could fly, this seemed like another almost lucid. Unfortunately my mind rationalized it away instead of questioning it further.

Monday Night, 4/27/20

I was playing in the ocean along with one or two companions. "Come on!" I said, rushing headfirst into the water, swimming as fast as I could. I was half experiencing, half simulating the ocean waves. Upon realizing there were no large waves crashing over me, I began to expect them which then led to their creation and my experience of having large waves tumble me about. The part of me that was scared was drowned out (no pun intended) by my overall sense that I was perfectly safe. A female friend came along with me past the large waves. We were then rapidly pulled far out to sea where the waters became deep and calm. My mind offered up a couple practical concerns. Aren't you worried about dangerous sea creatures the longer you're out here? How far off is land on the other side of this ocean? Won't you get tired of swimming and drown? I decided it was best not to think of dangerous sea creatures. I should simply focus on not splashing around too much. As to getting tired, I found I was able to easily swim at a fast pace with barely any effort. Later we transitioned to walking and gliding along the surface of the water.

As night approached, the Narrator said that we would need a place to rest for the night. A dark blue door with orange trim around it appeared. I knew exactly what it was the moment I saw it. I opened it and we stepped through, into my room. Inside it was arranged a little differently than waking life, with bunk beds and a couple random piles of blankets, pillows, and sheets laying around, but it was still fully recognizable. I also found there was a second door which I could open to the rest of the house. I walked around in the upstairs hallway then went back into my room again. Strange. I thought, while my friend just seemed obsessed with playing in the blanket pile and rubbing her face against the pillows. I opened the blue door once again to see that, indeed, it still led right out to the middle of the ocean. "You can change where the door leads." The Narrator informed me. I closed the door and reopened it to try it out. It no longer led to the ocean, now it led to a random room. I closed it for good this time and prepared for sleep, though I don't think I actually did fall asleep.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

This one was so close to becoming a lucid dream. I had the awareness of dream control abilities, noticed the oddness of what I was observing, and then there was the presence of the Narrator dropping hints. The Narrator is a disembodied voice that shows up surprisingly often in my dreams and I've referred to it as my subconscious in the past. I'm starting to notice a clear pattern where it shows up when I'm either lucid already or I'm very close to becoming lucid. The ocean is another pre-existing dream sign of mine that's been showing up a lot lately. My relationship to the waves in dreams has gone through an interesting progression over the course of 20+ years of having those recurring dreams, but that's a post for another time. Apparently I'm plunging headfirst into them now.

Thursday Night, 11/7/19

I was hiking through a forest and I came out into an open field, accidentally spawning a large bear as I did so. I had to run away from it using video game controls. It morphed from bear, to wolf, to lion, to jaguar and long story short I couldn't increase the distance between me and it no matter what tactics I used.

Gradually the environment shifted from video game to realistic until I was running in my own body rather than using controls. Knowing I stood no chance remaining in the open field, I dove into the deep river to my left and swam across. I pulled myself out onto the opposite river bank and found myself back among the trees. But of course jaguars are excellent swimmers so the big cat followed me easily. As it came out of the water the jaguar transformed into a woman. She was beautiful and lithe, dressed in flowing white, with the cold expression of a seasoned killer. We came out onto a wide and empty paved road that cut through the trees. I walked backwards and shot invisible arrows at her which made her health bar go down - a remaining feature from the video game - but she was otherwise unfazed. She was slowly walking toward me holding an already bloodied sword which she didn't even bother to raise. She said, "It's always hard to kill something for the first time." Clearly she was not referring to herself. She seemed to be implying that any reluctance to kill on my part would give her the advantage.



We both stopped walking and she informed me flatly that I was out of arrows. Her health bar was only at half. I knew I would have to use my sword and hack away for my life. I wasn't very skilled with a sword. That is to say I'd never used one before. As the jaguar woman raised her own sword it was immediately clear she was in her element. My alarm went off, yanking me out of there and into a waking state.

Not much to report this week.

Recall has barely improved.

Do remember 2 Jamie dreams. They were so fleeting it's hard to tell if they were good or bad. Regardless, it's nice to have any Jamie dreams. I'm still surprised to this day that she shows up almost weekly in my dreams for over 2 years now. I've never in my life had a consistent dream sign like this before.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I'm in a big room without ends. I am there with William, Rolf, Simon and some other people I can't recall. The floor is bouncy and we have a competition who can make the best flips. There is a pit we compete in and some kind of electronic device who is judging our flips. I am really good and get 0.27 better score than William. Rolf is almost out of his mind talking out loud how someone can be as good as I am. Later on the floor is not as bouncy.

I walk into my brother's room and it's chaos. His mattress is laying sideways, leaning on the the bed up against the roof. I lay on the bed and realize it's a dream. I walk up to the dinner room and do my RC but I'm not sure if it's a dream so I have to do it three times to be sure. I walk outside and as I do the dream fades. I stabilize the dream by rubbing my hands together and against my face. It works. I walk to the sheds and notice that one of them is open. I look in and see a small TV-screen that plays a childrens' movie about birds. It's one of those we had attached to the car when I was small so we could watch on movies on long trips. When I look towards the other side I see a really big, orange field mouse. It's bigger than my hand, but it's not afraid, only curious of me. I suddenly wonder what I should do in the dream and remember my dreaming goals. I try to remember how the dream started but it's really hard. I think it started with me walking into my little brother's room. I don't have any will to fly or anything so I just sit on the ground to meditate. As I sit down the dream fades and I feel my real body little by little. I have never exited a dream to the real life that smoothly.

I wake up in my room and do my RC. Yes! It's a dream. I go to the window and open it. But as I open the window I suddenly fall to the left side and then to right side. My balance is letting me down. I manage to climb the window. I'm not sure it's a dream anymore and think to myself that I am going to die if I jump out of the window in real life. I do my RC and am now sure that it's a dream. I fly out of the window and decide that I will practice my flying this time. I fly to the left but instead of flying forward I fly up. I can't control my flying. There is another person flying and she is really old. I inspect her and suddenly she flies backwards. I can't control my flying and I also fly backwards, then forward, then backwards etc. It's smooth and I realize I fall like a leaf from a tree. From side to side. The old lady did the same. When we land on the ground I speak with the old woman, asking her if she wants to hang out. She denies. A girl in my age comes and I ask her if she wants to hang out. She says yes, but as she does, the old woman interrupts and says that she wants to hang out with me. I know that she did so because she is jealous of the young woman. I say okey and we walk the city. I get lost in the dreaming story and lose my lucidity As I and the old woman walk there is another old woman. We say hi and ask if she wants to join us. There are now two old women walking next to me. As we walk over the first pedestrian crossing to Hemmakväll from our house there is another old woman that joins us. The dream suddenly dissapears My dreams usually fade away and I can't recall a single time a dream has ended that abruptly.

I don't know where the next dream started but I know I was lucid and remembered to test out the teleportation through mirror skill.

I'm outside my house and I try to summon a mirror. It comes up in an instant and I see my room through the mirror. I jump into the mirror, afraid that I won't come through if I don't use force. It succeeded! I teleportated into my room! I am really happy. I don't remember how the dream ended.

Possible recurring elements: Freerunning, cousins, my brother and chaos, TV-screens, vermins.

Notes: I sometimes do flips and I had weekly freerunning practice before. The floor in the first dream almost was like the floor in the practice hall but thinner and didn't sound when you jumped on it. I don't want my dreams to boost my ego by putting DCs who say I am incredible. I feel a little bit stupid and almost like it is I who wants to be acknowledged and that it is why the dream did that. Me and my mom talked about acknowleding other people yesterday. Maybe that is the explanation to the dream, and that freerunning is my most safty bet how to get acknowledged. Wow, I would have never got that insight if I didn't write like this. I now realized that freerunning is the easiest way to get people to say "wow" and get people to notice me. My brother's life is in chaos and I think that his badly cleaned room was a sign of that. I will try to help him fix his life more activly now. I should always start my lucidity with trying to sense if the dream needs stabilization. By doing so I can have longer and more realistic dreams. The field mouse was there because we have recently got rats in our house. Now when I think about it the field mouse standed right next to one of the rat traps on our site. But the rat trap was not in the dream. I wonder why I didn't want to fly in the first lucid dream. I always love to fly in my dreams. I think I dreamt about the old ladies because yesterday Monica and Klaus were here. They talked with me and my parents about old people.

Day 829:

Fell asleep at: 3:00 AM

Woke up at: 9:00 AM


Dream 119: Tooth-Conscious

I'm in my house, possibly a FA, and I go over to the restroom to look at myself in the mirror. I find that my two front teeth are horrendously mangled, crooked and with a wide gap in between. I begin to freak out, wondering how my teeth got this bad. Then I woke up for real.


Day 830:

Fell asleep at: 3:00 AM

Woke up at: 1:00 PM


Dream 120: Monster Hunting

I'm in a house, a moderately expensive one it looks like, almost certainly not my own. I'm sitting on the couch playing a Monster Hunter game with my family, which is odd, as MH doesn't support split-screen nor is it the kind of game my family would play.

My dad, who usually wouldn't play anything more complex than Mario Kart, is complaining how we've only been killing easy monsters. So, in retaliation, I select a mission involving hunting a Tetsucabra and Glavenus at once. It absolutely wipes the floor with the rest of my family, but at this point I'm too involved with my performance to really care.

As I'm soloing the Glavenus, I find something...off about it. Every now and then it will let loose a stream of blue Pikmin from its gaping maw, sapping my health away. I'm juggling between slashing it with my Great Sword and guzzling Mega Potions and getting nowhere real fast.

Then the dream ended.

Fell asleep at: 3:00 AM

Woke up at: 11:00 AM


Dream 117: The Non-Zombie Related One

In what seems to be a cheap hotel with concrete walls and poor accommodations. It has a window and a minifridge at the very least, so there's that. Not five minutes before I begin settling into my room, a young girl (She looks no older than 15 to me) barges in my room and starts coming onto me. I get massively uncomfortable, thinking someone's going to see me with a minor in a fleabag hotel.

Next thing I remember, we're both lying on the bed (Fully clothed, but still). And now I want to give my dream self a SERIOUS talking to. I swear my dream self and myself are two completely separate people.


Dream 118: The Zombie One

In what seems to be a high school in the middle of a zombie epidemic. I'm sprinting through a series of tight hallways with a shotgun in my hands trying to seek shelter. I spot a female zombie that looks massively decayed, basically just skin and bones now, as she convulses on the floor. Turning a corner, I find a door ajar with what looks to be human survivors in it. I get inside, and lock the door behind me.

Now I'm inside what was once a computer lab. Low ceiling, but a wide enough area to stretch your legs in. I start to converse with the survivors, one of which resembling my sister and the other resembling her husband. My brother-in-law has decided to keep watch, guarding the entrance with what looks to be an assault rifle. I go over to another survivor, a teenage girl chewing on a laptop. I don't remember much of the conversation, to be frank.

My brother-in-law then announces that he's going to set off an electrical grid that will shock all the zombies in the school to death. After a three second countdown, he does just that, and we make our escape from the school.

An epilogue then plays out, explaining that our group of survivors were able to clear our town of zombies and rebuild. And that's about it.

Don't recall anything leading up to Day 650.


Day 650:

Fell asleep at: 3:00 PM

Woke up at: 10:00 AM


Dream 116: Fawning Over A Psychotic AI

Inside this broken down facility, everything is some shade of brown with the odd red hazard light. Pipes, broken down machinery, with the foundation of the building in severe disrepair. I am talking to an artificial intelligence that was formed from the consciousness of a recently deceased woman. Think Handsome Jack from TFTB, that kinda scenario. I come to the conclusion that she has uploaded herself to the factory's computer systems, as she communicates to me over an intercom.

In order to save my skin, I start giving her undue praise. Apparently, when she was alive, she was quite a sadistic ***** that caused trouble to a lot of people. I never quite understood how or why her consciousness turned into an AI postmortem, but that seemed like something that would provoke a reaction from her, so I didn't ask.

I then spent the rest of the dream trying to bootlick this AI until I was on its good side. Then the dream ended.

I am hanging out with co-workers and getting to know somebody who’s apparently just been hired. Her name is Marie, and she’s from Canada. In addition to working here, she’s a grad student working on a music degree, which she's now almost done with. She's currently working on the composition that will be her thesis. She shows it to me – via some sort of electronic device, I think.

The music is notated on manuscript paper, but instead of the usual note shapes, there are little horizontal rectangles that stretch out for as long as the note is held, rather like a midi display. The inside of each rectangle is patterned in ways that indicate something about the music. I hear it in my head as I read, with the patterns calling up images and connotations in relation to it.

The first bar begins with two long Gs an octave apart played by instruments in the violin family – I don’t identify them explicitly in the dream, but given that it’s written in the bass clef, almost certainly cellos. The rectangles contain the patterns signifying darkness and light. The impression this makes is hard to describe. Poignant, maybe – a suggestion of a cavernous space vast enough to hold them both at once. It continues, but I can’t remember the part after that so well.

16.5.20

Fell asleep at: 5:00 AM

Woke up at: 2:00 PM


Dream 114: A Totally Unassuming Cult

I seem to be a spectator to the dream. I am able to feel and move my dream body while the whole of my field of view is dominated by the dream.

The dream starts out in medias res; A twenty-year- old or so girl is seeking admission into a vaguely Christian cult, and is being interviewed by two recruiters, one an old man, and one around her age. At some point, she catches onto the fact that the people running the operation are a bunch of nutjobs and that their adherents are similarly sinister. She starts to back away from the conversation, but as she does so, two kids in a little play area start pointing and yelling at her. They say something along the lines of "Witch!" and "Heretic!"

She backs away even further, and bumps up against a waist-high bookshelf. At this point, the recruiters make no compunctions about harming her.

I (As the spectator) notice a ceramic globe on top of one of the bookshelves. I yell at the girl, "The atlas! Throw the atlas at them!" I mistakenly called the globe an "atlas!" She then chucks the globe at the old guy and he goes down like a ton of bricks. Now it's just her and the younger man. They stare down each other fiercely, and I am on the edge of my seat.

This goes on for a minute, and I got bored. I draw my attention away from the dream for a second, and then...

A newspaper clipping shows up, talking about how this same girl somehow joined the psycho cult anyway. I am flabbergasted, and I yell at the dream some more.

Good lord, HOW did I not go without posting for upwards of two years? Well, stuff happened, is all I'm going to say. So let's get into this.

Fell asleep at: 3:00 AM

Woke up: 12:15 PM


Dream 113: Old Faces

Daytime; My house. The in-laws have come over, and they brought their dogs with them. A dachshund, a terrier mix, and some others I can't remember. One of the dogs, wearing a grey shirt and orange/yellow suspenders walks into my room and jumps on top of me in my bed. I play with the little guy for a while, and one of the in-laws chimes and in says that that's actually the father of all these other dogs.

I say something along the lines of, "Well, he can do whoever he wants then--" then retract that statement and I say "That came out wrong."

As I'm playing with the dog, a female DC keeps tugging at his shirt collar, for whatever reason. The dog looks mighty uncomfortable when she does that, so I tell her to stop tugging at it. The dream ends not long after.

Upon further reflection, the dog in my dream looked remarkably like another dog I had, though that one passed away not two years ago. It was nice to play with the little fella again, even if it was just a dream.

In the earliest part of the dream I can remember well, I’m with a group of people from work. We’re in a house rather than an office, a mostly empty one that’s not in the best condition and which strikes me as reminiscent of somewhere in the past (it's not a vague memory in the dream – rather, my waking self can’t pin it down to anywhere familiar). There’s something in the way everything is happening that suggests we’re maintaining order in the midst of a chaotic situation and extemporizing as necessary. Some disaster has struck the world – although it seems less like this is the aftermath than that it was so bad that what remained of humanity actually had to flee to some sort of parallel dimension.

Kate, the director, tells us we should all go outside to see something. Stepping out of the house, I can see what looks like a large town square across the street, round-ish in shape, possibly cobbled. Above the old-fashioned buildings on the opposite side, the sky is turning pink and purple in a certain area. In the middle of it, a black spot appears, clearly visible against the light. I recognize it, as does everybody there: this was what happened before, the thing that came and destroyed the world.

But something is different this time: instead of appearing large and far away, the spot now seems to be quite close, in the square itself. Somehow, I know that I can make things turn out differently this time around. I run towards it, the others not far behind.

The dark sphere is floating there, too high to jump for but close to a flagpole on the far side. I scale it. The flag, which is dark blue, isn’t flying – rather, it seems to be tied to the pole, and (on later reflection) entirely too large for it. The thing actually looks more like a mast than a flagpole. But I manage to make it up with no trouble until I'm level with the sphere. It’s very small now, smaller than a cotton ball. I reach out and grab it, enclosing it in my hand.

The moment I touch it, it changes, becoming material, taking on a definite shape. It has become a key on a keyring.

I know what to do now: the keyhole can’t be too far away. I actually find it on the way back down, on the base of the pole. I put it in and turn, and keep turning. And as I do, something is happening to the building closest to the pole: the whole façade is unfolding, revealing a large airplane inside. It looks like a typical jet, but in the dream, it strikes me like something out of another era, concealed here for who knows how long.

A dirty, light brown liquid is pooled near the nose. An inner voice that seems to belong to the plane itself tells me that it needs an oil change. I think that it probably needs rather more than that, considering how long it’s been here. But I’m aware that this situation is out of my hands now. It will be others who fix it up and who make use of it somehow to avert disaster. I’ve done what I can.

10.5.20

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

Me and my dad went camping yesterday and it was pretty cold so I had a hard time sleeping and woke up pretty often. I wake up and feel pretty normal, suddenly a huge pain in my back arises but it's more like an itch amplified by a thousand. Of course I want to scratch it but my arm won't move, my mind tells me that my dad is 100% sitting on me. Suddenly I can move and scratch my back and my dad is sleeping next to me, he was never sitting on me. It almost felt like a nightmare were you can't run properly, but I wasn't asleep. I have no idéa if it was a SP. I wake up later in the night and have another scary experience. Suddenly it's like I can not breath, suddenly I can breath again and I really gasp after air at first. Later in the night I have a dream.

I'm in an old shack in the woods, I remember my cousins are there. I am being hunted by a big unnatural man with a scary army of unnatural people. I see the army and my hunter through the window. I try to escape the shack but my 6 year old cousin hits me with a toy and I am for some reason playing with his game and childishly I pretend that I faint. I am being taken by my hunter. I don't remember more even though I am sure there was more to the dream.

Possible recurring elements: My best cousins.

Notes: Because I slept in the woods the dream was in the woods. Today we will have a birthday party with my best cousins, probably that's why they were in the dream.