memorable

Good lord, HOW did I not go without posting for upwards of two years? Well, stuff happened, is all I'm going to say. So let's get into this.

Fell asleep at: 3:00 AM

Woke up: 12:15 PM


Dream 113: Old Faces

Daytime; My house. The in-laws have come over, and they brought their dogs with them. A dachshund, a terrier mix, and some others I can't remember. One of the dogs, wearing a grey shirt and orange/yellow suspenders walks into my room and jumps on top of me in my bed. I play with the little guy for a while, and one of the in-laws chimes and in says that that's actually the father of all these other dogs.

I say something along the lines of, "Well, he can do whoever he wants then--" then retract that statement and I say "That came out wrong."

As I'm playing with the dog, a female DC keeps tugging at his shirt collar, for whatever reason. The dog looks mighty uncomfortable when she does that, so I tell her to stop tugging at it. The dream ends not long after.

Upon further reflection, the dog in my dream looked remarkably like another dog I had, though that one passed away not two years ago. It was nice to play with the little fella again, even if it was just a dream.

In the earliest part of the dream I can remember well, I’m with a group of people from work. We’re in a house rather than an office, a mostly empty one that’s not in the best condition and which strikes me as reminiscent of somewhere in the past (it's not a vague memory in the dream – rather, my waking self can’t pin it down to anywhere familiar). There’s something in the way everything is happening that suggests we’re maintaining order in the midst of a chaotic situation and extemporizing as necessary. Some disaster has struck the world – although it seems less like this is the aftermath than that it was so bad that what remained of humanity actually had to flee to some sort of parallel dimension.

Kate, the director, tells us we should all go outside to see something. Stepping out of the house, I can see what looks like a large town square across the street, round-ish in shape, possibly cobbled. Above the old-fashioned buildings on the opposite side, the sky is turning pink and purple in a certain area. In the middle of it, a black spot appears, clearly visible against the light. I recognize it, as does everybody there: this was what happened before, the thing that came and destroyed the world.

But something is different this time: instead of appearing large and far away, the spot now seems to be quite close, in the square itself. Somehow, I know that I can make things turn out differently this time around. I run towards it, the others not far behind.

The dark sphere is floating there, too high to jump for but close to a flagpole on the far side. I scale it. The flag, which is dark blue, isn’t flying – rather, it seems to be tied to the pole, and (on later reflection) entirely too large for it. The thing actually looks more like a mast than a flagpole. But I manage to make it up with no trouble until I'm level with the sphere. It’s very small now, smaller than a cotton ball. I reach out and grab it, enclosing it in my hand.

The moment I touch it, it changes, becoming material, taking on a definite shape. It has become a key on a keyring.

I know what to do now: the keyhole can’t be too far away. I actually find it on the way back down, on the base of the pole. I put it in and turn, and keep turning. And as I do, something is happening to the building closest to the pole: the whole façade is unfolding, revealing a large airplane inside. It looks like a typical jet, but in the dream, it strikes me like something out of another era, concealed here for who knows how long.

A dirty, light brown liquid is pooled near the nose. An inner voice that seems to belong to the plane itself tells me that it needs an oil change. I think that it probably needs rather more than that, considering how long it’s been here. But I’m aware that this situation is out of my hands now. It will be others who fix it up and who make use of it somehow to avert disaster. I’ve done what I can.

10.5.20

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

Me and my dad went camping yesterday and it was pretty cold so I had a hard time sleeping and woke up pretty often. I wake up and feel pretty normal, suddenly a huge pain in my back arises but it's more like an itch amplified by a thousand. Of course I want to scratch it but my arm won't move, my mind tells me that my dad is 100% sitting on me. Suddenly I can move and scratch my back and my dad is sleeping next to me, he was never sitting on me. It almost felt like a nightmare were you can't run properly, but I wasn't asleep. I have no idéa if it was a SP. I wake up later in the night and have another scary experience. Suddenly it's like I can not breath, suddenly I can breath again and I really gasp after air at first. Later in the night I have a dream.

I'm in an old shack in the woods, I remember my cousins are there. I am being hunted by a big unnatural man with a scary army of unnatural people. I see the army and my hunter through the window. I try to escape the shack but my 6 year old cousin hits me with a toy and I am for some reason playing with his game and childishly I pretend that I faint. I am being taken by my hunter. I don't remember more even though I am sure there was more to the dream.

Possible recurring elements: My best cousins.

Notes: Because I slept in the woods the dream was in the woods. Today we will have a birthday party with my best cousins, probably that's why they were in the dream.

The dream started with this weird and slighty disgusting, almost Junji Ito-inspired anime about a failing relationship. The main protagonist, had a white shoebox that was linked to any toilet he used, and anything dropped into the toilet would appear, wrapped, in the shoebox. He kept looking back at old videos and pictures of his relationship, and most of the story was told in retrospect as the main protagonist kept dealing with his broken relationship and the shoebox, eventually his partner comes back, and she's inflicted with chronic vomiting, and is also linked to the shoebox.

Some time later, I discovered a fair and food festival in my dad's old home town, an odd game of hook the ducks with some dutch guys was there, and dutch carnival music was sounding out throughout the tent, weirdly, a lot of the bodies of water they were using in the unusually sized tent were in the the shape of pool tables, and there was also a dedicated duck slide on one of them.

After attempting to leave a classroom, I got lost and found my way into an auxiliary library.
after exploring, and not really knowing where I was, I found that the library was being used as a classroom.

The environment shifted around me when I was attempting to leave, and all of a sudden the class was for fictional heroes.
One of them was what I thought I called a beast hero, he was like some kind of eevee-sandshrew hybid, his powers were basically the animal copy ability from Kirby: Squeak Squad. His personality was definitely the brooding edgy rival type, with a tendency to snap at people. I didn't remember his name, but after probing my subconcious, something like "Tekkan" came back. After a while, another hero got possessed or went rogue, and for some reason, the batter from OFF was there, and the entire scene eventually transitioned into what appeared to be a fan-made sequel to the game, imatating the original artstyle, but with seeming influences from cactus and andrew hussie.

The possessed hero was basically the final boss of the game, and the game basiclly revolved around beating him by strengthening yourself, and weakening the opponent. Interestingly enough, when I was chasing a speedy enemy, the path eventually led back to my house, and then to my bedroom where I woke up, and the enemy progressively began to look more like me.

Lucid but too short

It seems like I am walking through a park late at night in calgary. Something like Proncess island park because I am coming from a bridge. I get a sense that I'm dreaming almost instantly. Because it is night out, a blackness fills my field of vision. I begin touching the ground where some sand is immediately to try and incorporate my senses into the dream. It stabalizes momentarily but then I remember an old DV post, from someone who once prolonged a dream by trying to eat a tree. becuase that incorporates many physical sensastions such as touch, taste, smell, texture etc. I then remember i had passed a tree by the bridge earlier. I seemilngly teleport there and try to eat it but fade out before anything happens. Damn...

Hate this dream

This dream involved Jamie but she wasn't necessarily in it.. Started I was getting a visit from my brother and we were walking around houses or open markets or something. He's visiting in real life since i can't make my trip to the USA because of travel restrictions due to the pandemic... In the dream I ask if he's watched Star Trek Picard yet? He says no. I tell him I'll get yet another month of Crave so we can watch it while he visits. He says okay but he is grossed out by something and leaves.

It appears I am surrounded by Gay people having orgies... umm okay. everything is very graphic. It's also on computer monitors throughout the street or houses I am in. It makes sense as I run into an old co worker from 2011 Gil. Who i know IS gay. We are in a room with some women in it and he says he knows Jamie and runs into her occasionally, there's a place or street he goes to and he runs into her 1 in 3 times. I find it odd that he might know her. One of the women says, "Oh no your another guy she's used." implying i'm a long list of guys she has discarded. in Her condition is makes sense. people with BPD rarely settle down with anyone for long periods of time, so many embrace a more open lifestyle, of never sticking with anyone. She DID give the impression of a serial dater when I knew her. and stopped talking to me altogether years ago... I ask the woman if we are talking about the same Jamie and give her her full name. and she says, "yes, that's the one." Gil says again, "We can still try to run into her there's a 1 in 3 chance." I stand there and try to justify myself for a second of trying to hold onto her. Fact: She can't even manage a simple "hi," after years. I am forever discarded, Even of she reads my dreams she would never ever talk to me again, I would get a fraction of a second of a look once she realizes who I am, and completely shut down towards me.

I wake up while thinking all these things. This dream really bothered me for a few days after... and it actually kind of upsets me to write it down.

Jamie

Another fraction of a second dream whew i am walking with jamie, and she seems "normal," walking arm in arm. But that's all I get for the week.

OGRE

Scary dream. i am in a house filled with monster or something. I find a kitchen where a mad scientist works. I walk past a living room where a giant guy about 8 feet tall is cutting hair off a lamb and muttering to himself, "Ah yess so smooth will be your skin, like butter it will be to eat..." I am frightened by the scene and hid above a shelf in the kitchen. The scientist is walking back into the kitchen. So I dart out past the living room again. Now a whole heard of 30 or so sheep are in the living room getting their wool cut off from the same guy. His brother enters the room who is like 16 feet and i realize the soft sheep are for his brother. I wonder if he eats them alive. I don't stick around to find out. The dream ends as soon as I leave.

I will color every part from now on to make it easier to figure out what is going on.
Black = comment
Grey = awake
Yellow = non-lucid
Blue = lucid

---

[30.04.2020]
Strange respirator
I was in my living room and put on a respirator I own. Suddenly, it's like I am overtaken by a creature and all of a sudden I get the instinct to run around and destroy everything. I felt way stronger than usual. I ran in extreme speeds into a different room and ripped stuff off the table. I fought a bit against it, but somehow I liked it, as if it was made so I didn't want to put the respirator off.

I woke up, but it was quite early, so I decided to continue sleeping.

Spectating strange couple
I was sort of spectating a couple. I only really remember that they had booked something like just flying through the earth's orbit, through the atmosphere. I was sort of in the camera perspective of the man. The woman was enjoying herself, but I as the observer was not really a fan and it actually scared me quite a bit. There were all sorts of strange visual effects, which, in the dream, were from scraping at the edge of the earth's atmosphere and the light being distorted because of that. I tried closing my eyes, but it didn't really work and the strange light bending made it so that you see everything, even if you close your eyes. When I opened them again, it was in reverse from normal blinking and opening them made no light reach the eye. I didn't end up actually seeing the man.

[01.05.2020]
Anime-like self-aware world
I was in a sort of village, surrounded by maze-like hedges. I felt they were there to protect the village. It was quite early in the morning, and I saw a building in front of me. I had to sort of register myself. I think they knew I was dreaming or something like that, and that I was only visiting for a bit. I met a villager there, and we became friends. He told me something about the ancient Japanese spirits in the forest, and how you should always be inside at night, as we walked through the maze. Towards the end of the dream, I think we said bye to each other as I felt that I was waking up.

Jamie

A good dream for once. Just sitting on a couch with Jamie with my arm around her and i think she is reciprocating. she's letting me know she still cares and feels good about me. but her mood suggests she is also angry with about something? Not sure.


Crazy

In a semi lucid. I'm in front of a haunted mirror? not sure but i am encased in mirror on all sides of me. I feel a really evil presence so i draw with my finger on the mirror in front of me a cross and say, "The power of Christ compels you!" I say it somewhat jokingly. Instantly I'm in sleep paralysis in my bed and i hear a baby laughing menacingly at me...

Alarm

Not sure what was happening but i had a false awakening because of an alarm clock going off in the dream i had a FA in. Which really woke me up even though in reality no alarm had gone off....

Going on a spaceship
I am sort of talking to a person, but I barely had a view of it. It was really weird. Then we go into a spaceship, which only consists of a few chairs in the back. I am there, along with a few more volunteers. I then hear that we will have to be in this single room for 15 years until anything can happen. I am shocked and want to leave again, but it was too late, and I open the door just to see space. There didn't seem to be a vacuum, so nothing more happened. Then I suddenly had some sort of cable, and I asked one of the volunteers to try and grab it because I want to see if I can go out and look around. For some reason, it was like in a video game, and the interaction for the cable just wasn't set up, so I couldn't do that. I saw that the galaxies were really weird, and physics weren't quite comprehensible in this universe, so there is no way I can really explain how it was.
We suddenly arrive at a building, like an office building, which was really weird and mysterious. We all went out and explored. There were a bunch of tables with computers and paperwork, as well as mugs for coffee. On the floor was a mess of paperwork. There were a lot of windows, simply going out into space. There were zombie-like people laying on the ground. We go to explore further, going into a door in the back, on the left, and there was one of these zombies laying around, which looked like nullbodies from boneworks. There is another person behind me, and I have found a gun somewhere. Suddenly the zombie moves and stands up, and I shout that the zombie has woken back up, and I shoot it until it is dead. If I remember correctly, the volunteer then thanks me. We go into a sort of backroom, but I don't quite remember how it looked. I grab a bunch of pencils to take back with me into the space ship. Suddenly, a volunteer tells me that we have to go, in a sort of annoyed vocal tone, probably annoyed about me taking so much stuff. I run back and put the pencils into my pockets. I then want to take a mug, but it seems to be dirty. The spaceship starts flying without me, making TARDIS noises, and I quickly jump through the door and sit down.

Jamie dreams

first one seems to be in direct response to a facebook dream i was having the previous week. In this dream Jamie is interacting with me on facebook, although the act is nice, she seems to have some attitude about it. doesn't come across very loving.

Second dream i am with her in high school. But she's too cool for school or even me for that matter. As she is too stuck up to even talk to me. She has a friend nearby who is an admirer and she says something like, "There's the most beautiful girl in the school, and then there's Her." Referring to jamie as if Jamie is above the rest.

Last dream we are in a field with some east indian girl. They find a bathroom or something whoch is their hangout. Jamie asks me to clean the entire bathroom for her. And I'm like, "No."

And quite frankly i'm not logging these dreams every week for her to play in a highschool popularity contest. Still miss my dream hugs.


floating

in this dream i am almost lucid. I'm in a room with a bunch of people and i start floating up and flying around. I start singing wierd al's Eat it, but with the pitch of michael jackson. The people below start staring at me.

Haunted

Me and someone are outside a bunch of abandoned houses looking for a haunted house. Seems to be the district close by that one dream i had with the black castle and the women demons who guarded it.

We go up to a house with a mirror. In the mirror is a scene of people in a house pretending to be ghosts. I remember the face of a girl of the family trying to make funny but spooky faces. I ask them where the haunted house is. They don't know. I ask if this is a haunted mirror. The pull out their own mirror and create a ghost lady that walks into their mirror. I can't tell if they mean a huanted mirror is something you can walk through to the other side in, or if they are inviting me to walk into their mirror?

We walk on and supposedly find the haunted house. We find a crawlspace inside which leads to... A large area something like a sears in a mall or something. There's all these women accompanied by really tall and pale men about 7-8 feet tall. I become semi lucid and begin to fly above them. I circle the area and fly up an escalator which has strange walls on the side. I become lucid for a moment and the dream fades.


FA, I'm in a room with Dara, The tarot card youtuber who deleted all her accounts and videos. I think she's jamie or something. She seems okay with me and i say she was mad but now she's cool. Dara looks at me perplexed and then shrugs whatver. i say it's cool like this to be just chill. she agrees.
work related

I'm at work when everyone becomes frightened. Dylan goes into the walk in freezer and discovers a dead girl's corpse in there. I begin hearing loud alien like Thwoms coming from the freezer. In a panic i go get changed to go home and leave. I'm having heart attack symptoms, it won't stop beating fast and i notice I'm really sweaty as I take off my shirt and look for the other one.

Scary

Im'm in some house and some evil guy that reminds me of thanos is there. Thanos is suddenly michael dorn without his worf makeup but he is still evil. I hide bhind a door and throw knives at him... they don't even hit him hard. He goes to attack me but I wake up.

Last night I had a dream that my family came to visit me, and we went to the local amusement park. There was a new ride. It was a horse you could ride on that pivoted on a central axis (I think that's the right term). It was not a real horse, I don't think, but rather a lifelike mechanical one. It was curious and friendly, and reminded me of a Pokémon somewhat. There were glowing leaves scattering everywhere, despite it being daytime, and the horse bent down to smell and investigate the leaves while kids rode it. As I recall, we were in line for the duration of the dream, but I got woken up before we got on the ride.

I'm interested in theme park design and have been since I was small and now I want to use this somehow, somewhere. It's one of many dreams about rides that I've had throughout the years, even when I'm not actively thinking about them.

Weird mashup dream
I only remember fragments of the first part. I remember the death of an old friend I had in the dream (not real), and I have flashbacks to times we've had together. We seemed to be pretty happy together. We both seemed to be living in a sort of psychologist's building. I remember it might not have been an asylum, we just lived in the same building, but I'm not sure. There might have been some strange creatures at some point. I remember something with a pool. He might have drowned. Or maybe he was murdered by the creatures.

Suddenly, the scene changes to something similar to the scene in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with the death eater and Barty Crouch in the courtroom. Except that the courtroom is now a gigantic dim chamber. The ceiling was quite low, but the room was about 50 meters in length and width. The only light came from a large window on at least one side of the room, letting light coming through what is probably storm clouds, judging from the light's dimness. I can't really see what is outside the window. All the seats are lined up like in the courtroom. Albus Dumbledore sits on a chair. I try to talk to him, but he doesn't react. I then walk up to the chair and walk right through it, noticing I am like a ghost to everything that is happening. I notice Voldemort sitting in the middle. I decide to sit onto his chair for some reason, looking at everything through his perspective.

Then, I am suddenly sitting on a leather chair affixed to the wall, with psychologists trying to calm me. I think something involving the pool happened. They bring me into a room to talk with a woman. She asks me a lot of things, I don't remember what though, except that I bring out one of my medical devices for diabetes and she asks if the amount of insulin given isn't a bit much, and I explain that the amount is spread out through the day.

Next scene is of a black leopard, which is some sort of evil character associated with the creatures mentioned at the beginning. They are a leopard because apparently they managed to continue living after death by becoming one. They break into a sort of zoo enclosement and bring out stones, which they break up and for some reason breathe in. A sort of zoo overseer just watches this and exclaims that this is one smart leopard. Then they suddenly get aggressive and want to attack me, but I am stuck with my arm in the sort of wall of the enclosement. I suddenly go back to some other scene for a second, before waking up.

Making horror levels gone wrong
I am in some level editor, possibly from a game by Frictional Games. I am placing some sort of monster, but how it looks makes me unsettled. Then, I suddenly heard a voice in my computer. "I see you..". I then felt so unsettled that I wanted to close all the editors. But then I opened the game window and pressed refresh, which made changes I made in the editor appear. I had originally planned to immediately press escape and exit the game, but that plan was interrupted by the monster suddenly appearing right in front of the camera, sitting in a chair of sorts making strange noises which had me frantically and in terror planning my next actions. I was so startled that I woke up.
-
After this, I woke up quite early, so I went to sleep again.
-

Awakening to lightning
I'm not sure if I had some dreams before or after this, but I have a false awakening that simply consists of some lightning outside. Usually, I would go and take pictures, but I forget and go to sleep again, the storm soothing me to sleep quite quickly.
-
After this, I once again wake up early and just close my eyes again, jumping back into my dreams within seconds.
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Adventure as a shapeshifting being
I am a being that seems to be able to change to its will. It is limited, but I do not know how. I have quite a few friends that are also special in specific powers. I feel free and am usually quite happy and cheery to my friends, as are they. I don't remember exactly what we did together, I only know we were happy. I only know of our main goal, which was to recover some sort of artifact an enemy of us has. After a while, we get there and we are sort of on a long pathway suspended up in the air in a large temple-like, abandoned chamber full of moss and water flowing out of the walls in small but noticeable amounts.

I run towards the enemy and recover the artifact, which allows me to turn into a creature which is gigantic and has immense power, and sort of resembles a ghost leviathan from Subnautica. I fly around the enemy, and I think I am devouring it. I get a third person view of this. Then I accidentally hit one of my friends with part of my tail, and she quickly collapses, dying. At first, I don't notice, but then I notice and get a very sinking feeling. My gigantic, four eyed face then approaches the friend laying on the ground. I am filled with guilt. Then the dream ends.

Extremely unclear fragment
The only thing I remember is that it contains the stairwell of my house.

---

The first dream stems from me making a SOMA mod. Not sure where that monster came from, though. It resembles Granny from the horror game of the same name, but I haven't thought of it for a while.

The second dream stems from me wishing for lightning storms and seeing that now as spring is coming, the clouds are getting larger much quicker.

The third dream stems from me not really feeling free as much, nor having any very good friends in real life. Not sure where the shapeshifting part came from, but it was quite cool. This dream made me want to lucid dream again and that's why I returned to the forum. I'm glad I did, I missed detailing my dreams here.

I don't really know anything about the fourth dream.

I noticed that when I start to journal out my dreams, that I end up recalling ones that have long been forgotten. So I have decided to creae a montage of dreams that appear while posting up new dreams.

Dream #1

I'm not sure when this dream happened but it was some time in the late year of 2019. I'm in a bright, peach colored room and I'm watching something on TV. I have a toy Dragonzord next to me, he is talking to me through my voice about something and then I leave from in the room. I'm in a dark hall with the room I was in next to me, spilling it's light out into the hall. Then I go downstairs, I saw people there talking and chilling out then ended up in the basement. I was a low laying place but big and on the floor was a black bag. In it was something black and wet. I went over and looked into it and got hit with a foul smell. I quickly tried to tie it up, but it busted and got all on the floor. It looks like it was huge chunks of flesh and angular things. I quickly started cleaning this stuff up and tied the bag once it was inside. I got away from there and headed back upstairs. But everything was all different. I wanted to get back to the place I was at earlier but the environment changed. The hall was strange and darker but managed to find the room dragonzord was in. It was the same and dragonzord was glad I came back to it and told me not to leave from there no more. Things are always changing in this place and we don't know if we will get teleported to another place.

Dream #2

I'm exploring a basement, which has always been a childhood thing I did and I'm one the main side. There is stuff there as usual and I go into the part of the place where it is smaller and had old wire mesh chicken wire there. Instead It was a much bigger room and saw some closed off places that looked like some homeless man made an enclosed room. I peeped through the curtains and saw someone inside, sleeping. He show up and I took off running. All he was was the curtains falling back into place as my shadow ran off to the left. He didn't come out but I wasn't going back over there to find out if he actually did come out.

The second chain put me into the room I looked into, luckily the man was gone and nothing but an empty cot but I can see all the trinkets he had hanging down from the walls and ceilings. It was darker inside there and crammed up. I saw a drawing that looked like it was made by a kid with crayons.

Some very long dreaming overall, many fragments lost now. The primary dream is backwards since that was the easiest way to put all the memory into notes.

---

Dream Fragment:

The earliest part of this dream I can remember, I was moving a cruise liner-like ship into orbit of a pretty plain planet. While manoeuvring close, I accidentally clipped head-on into the planet, so I had to sort of reverse out and reposition. I wanted to set it up so that it would make a nice screenshot, with the system's star and the nebulae in the background. There was a relatively dark palette to this scene, dark purples and dark desaturated oranges, almost a bright brown. The planet itself was a somewhat bright but lifeless pink and the ship was just some standard dark grey of sorts. Warm light.

I intended to upload the resulting screenshot onto the game's forum, I think. Despite the whole scene having a hyper-realistic feel, it was quite a lot like Freelancer but not quite, a bit of EVE online feel to it too.

In actuality I was on the ground, at the sloped and curvy area near M's house in my old town. I remember using some interfaces about my ship and looking through options. I "moused over" some checkboxes that had question marks next to them for info and quickly glanced at some tooltips that would appear with lists on them. I clicked some options rapidly; the options were relating to failure/limp modes. After checking these boxes, the ship started to implode. The options had no warning or confirmation before I had activated them so I got upset and spoke angrily at the interface, swearing and declaring how it was stupid, in my frustration.

On some list of ships I apparently owned, I saw the value of this cruiser drop rapidly from several hundred million to almost nothing as it imploded. I knew the ship was dead and worthless now in orbit of that planet and took some comfort in the fact that nobody would want to loot it being so worthless. Annoyed, I still felt like I could make a screenshot out of it.

Dream:

I woke up when in the dream I was telling H about some water-filled cyst things that seemed to be under my skin on my chest, my groin and my legs. They were hard to the touch. There were some kind of "veins" between them and at certain angles or positions the water would run down through them with gravity. It looked a bit like fresh sausages when they are cooked and have fluid built up under the casing. I remember the light at this point was a dim and lightly blue-ish morning light.

I asked H what it was and what it meant and more importantly, why it was going green on some bits (lower right belly) and H just said "then you lose" which made me panic and cry, at which point I quickly woke up.

In the dream I had noticed them earlier and in the dream context of having just seen a doctor recently too. I wondered why I hadn't told the doctor about them. Maybe they weren't there at the time? This was all at the end of a long and odd dream.

The preceding segment, I was with H at some guy's house. We were just loading up some cabinet "from the sound of music" or something into the van. Fairly dark wood, polygonal top, gold double trim along some edges, namely the top's sides. Was a bit like an end-table/cabinet. The guy who'd sold it to us had curly hair and fit some generic archetype of a musician. He commented something like "I hope you won't use it, and just store it safely in a bank", obviously still sentimental about it despite selling it. I thought to myself that there was no point in doing that, why had we bought it then. H didn't comment, I think.

I had arrived on foot at this place, having expected to actually go home before I got here but for whatever reason I had come across H in the dark street just in front of this guy's house. H's van was on its left side and H had taken the roof off it somehow. Had a determined look and was moving some reel tape boxes on a shelf just behind the bulkhead. Gravity didn't seem right, like it was working in multiple directions at the same time. Didn't notice me for a while, but it was like I wasn't there either. Pre-lucid thoughts about how the van being like this was very dreamlike. The thoughts didn't cross the required threshold however and I didn't do any reality checks.

Preceding that, I had been walking along streets of some version of the town we live in now. It was night time and wet, I can remember the reflection of red traffic lights on puddles. It may have been raining too while I walked. I remember the majority of my walking time I had been looking at Whatsapp on my phone. There were messages from H and loads from other people, but I promptly dismissed or ignored the ones from other people as I noticed them.

When I started walking it was day time, sunny and dry. I remember there was this garden, belonging to a bad man. I felt like burning it down just before I'd left it. I walked across the little fields to get to the pavement and there were some odd roots or vines that had a planty mouth, and they shot chocolate ice cream or something across to the other side of the street. The little fields had vegetables planted, mostly carrots and turnips? But the root of the vegetables was very visible, not just the top of the plants.

I got to this place after walking outside from another place where me and a bunch of other people were. Everyone had just found out that this man who owned these little garden/field things was a bad person, because of the testimony I gave them publicly, plus the testimony of two other people in the room. I was glad that they had spoken up. This indoors place was a bit like the fun centre at the mall near my old town. Odd lighting to the place.

This man had apparently been building illegal mini race track things but there was something more insidious about him. I had just come down from an indoors ramp of sorts when a girl about my age confronted me about it, she had a worried look on her face. In the preceding segment I had been helping that man build this thing. But I stopped helping him as soon as he asked me to poop somewhere, as part of the building effort or something and to do something with it. I pretended to have no issue with this and just told him there was no way I could possibly just do it whenever I wanted and that I was fairly "irregular" anyway. I thought at this point of asking for the pay he'd promised but realised immediately he'd be a bastard, so I didn't and at that point I just wanted out of there and away from him.

Finally, the earliest point in the dream I can remember was something about a forest and a sort of top down view. It was where I first noticed for myself these mini race track things, some floating over some kind of black abyss void.

Dream Fragment:

Something about Kaiju/Godzilla? Vague visual recall of some scenes where Godzilla was walking through a city.

Dream Fragment:

Some mini dream sequence about the automatic act of shaving. Probably caused by a lingering intent of wanting to do since yesterday.

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Notes:
- When I woke up from the long dream, I was sweating, which is what typically has been happening when I get long and intense or vivid dreams.
- The panic-type feelings stopped as soon as I woke up and didn't carry over into wakeful awareness. This wasn't what I'd consider a bad dream, just an odd one.
- The things that were on my chest and etc. seemed like the symptom of something but I don't remember them being painful or anything.
- There were several other dreams that I had fragments of, but I didn't make note of them and couldn't hold them through writing the rest of this.

A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway.

Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories.

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Dream:

Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly.

This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door.

I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too.

Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something.

Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began.

Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already.

Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt.

Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it.

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Notes:
- When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens.
- I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold.
- The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like.
- In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point.
- Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems.
- More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too.
- The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.