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I am at work with Laynie, but it looks more like we are in a large house. We start watching a woman with blond hair in a bun because she looks like she would steal. Sure enough, she starts to. (I think she came in with an empty Sephora bag?) There is a car waiting outside one of the doors; I see that nobody is in it but the keys are in the ignition. I know this is her car and, thinking it stupid of her to do this, take the keys out and pocket them. I don’t care what she’s got at this point, because her not being about to leave in her car is worth it. I go into what looks like Makayla’s room and hide the keys in a stack of clothes on a shelf. I think there’s no way she’ll find them, but I also worry slightly about the legal consequences. Now, (*I’m almost certain this part happened after I woke up and fell back asleep again) the woman has left but come back again.

I am at work, I think just coming back from a break, because I have a Starbucks in my hand. By the mall entrance I see a group of two girls. One of them quickly takes a piece of jewelry off a display and starts to go out the mall entrance. It was quick, but I am close enough to have seen it all perfectly, so I go out to stop her. I can’t quite tell if they’re technically out of the store or not, with them being by the racks right on the edge of the store floor. I don’t think I have a radio on that could give away who I am, but they still look at me weird before they fully step out. I tell the one girl to come back, and she looks guilty but is also not coming back. The friend steps up, and I somehow convince her to come back with the other. I walk them back, staying very close to them. At the door, I tell them to leave their bags and phones on the desk, just for my safety. The girl who stole the earrings initially sits on the chair by the door, and I have to tell her to move to the ones against the wall. She makes a comment about never having been in trouble before. She has kinky golden hair and looks about high school age. The other looks similar, like they could be related. I start off being very cool with them, pointing to the Starbucks on the desk as I make a comment about being on break. I then notice the other girl is still holding onto all of her shopping bags and that they are both on their phones. I end up taking each phone from their hands and setting them on the far corner of the desk. I think the chairs are behind the desk, between it and the wall. They both don’t really seem to care about me or being here.

It is an annoyance and a tragedy that the immediate recollections of our escapades within the kaleidoscopic realm of dreams should vacate our minds with such cruel transience upon our withdrawal therefrom. Indeed, there is nary a dreamer – even among the most deliberate and experienced – who is spared the frustration of awakening from the dream realm with only fragmentary evocations of the awesome experiences they had and the amazing things their half-conscious eyes beheld; and there are fewer still who are spared the woefully common tragedy of awakening to no such remembrances at all, vainly grasping in the darkness for memories already gone. And so, as many diligent dreamers do upon awakening, I set immediately to writing the details of my most recent venture through the dream realm, fervently recording as much as I could before the bulk those precious memories faded into the ether. However, regardless of my efforts, many of the important details surrounding this tale were still lost in memory, not least of which were the details of the inciting event from which this tale would otherwise commence.

Because of this, all I can tell is that certain financial circumstances of an unfortunate sort had brought my mother, my sister, and me within the doleful residence of what is infamously known as a “Corporate City.” I cannot, however, tell the specific details of what forced us to settle into such a municipality. If I was ever made aware of the name of this place, I cannot remember it now and so, I will give it the name, “Avericia.” A fitting designation as you will soon tell.

The city of Avericia would most certainly stand as the ultimate staple of Late Stage Capitalism for Avericia was a place ruled by men of power and relentless greed. The rulers were not politicians of any sort, but corporate elites who reside in high towers and look down upon the working masses with little empathy and cruel indifference. Surrounded by a great wall rivaling that of Jericho, Avericia was home to those unfortunate souls who were subjugated to the whims of those ruthless men by whom they were employed.

At some undetermined point in time, I was treated to a panoramic view of the place. The panorama presented to me a deceptively pleasant skyline superimposed against the iridescent pulchritude of a twilight sky peopled by majestic cumuli decorated with calming shades of pink, orange, and mauve by the setting sun. The outer portion of the radial city boasted a suburban sprawl of asphalt roofs, clean-cut lawns, and lush trees for the viewing pleasure of the residents therein. Peering further towards the city center, I could see a lively metropolis of lights, never-ending festivities, and fanfare beyond imagination. And at the center of it all was a casino of impressive proportion. The exact details of that casino’s architecture are lost to me. All I can say is that its grand aspect had me entranced in a venerable state of awe. Upon initial examination, one would be hard-pressed to find anything wrong with such a beautiful sight and it is that very essence of synthetic beauty that draws wealthy tourists to the fantastical inner parts of that city every year.

After a procession of events that managed to evade remembrance, I found myself driving through the suburbs towards our place of residence. I remember little save a stretch of road that curved slightly through a neighborhood area, and from this up-close perspective, I could see fully the state of dereliction in which this suburban area was left. Houses were run down and defaced with graffiti and lawns were flooded with the foul overflow of neglected septic tanks. I do not remember the specific condition our home was in; I only remember that the place was crowded as there were several families taking up residence there. I slept in that house, not looking forward to the next morning.

I do not remember the events the following morning. I simply recall finding myself on an employee monorail tram towards the inner city where My sister and I were to begin our first shift at the casino. The specifics of our job duties were unclear, we only knew that we were to be doing grunt work with only meager compensation. The dereliction of the outer suburbs home to the impoverished employees contrasted with the pulchritude of the inner city which was home to the wealthy tourists. I do not remember the details of this inner-city; I simply remember being taken by the site of that massive casino at the center of it all, silhouetted in part against the rising sun.

The following events can only be described with a vexing degree of vagueness for it is here that all faculties of my recollection begin to break down. The next thing I recall is standing with my sister and the other employees outside of the employee entrance. It was off to the side, hidden from the public eye, and yet it was impressive in size, up to thirty feet high, as though it were a door for giants! I remember the moments where my sister and I would lament our present situation as we were made to clean the bathrooms. Unfortunately, that is all that I remember about the job itself. Sometime later, I found my half-conscious self floating through a cylindrical chamber illuminated by the firey luminescence of an unknown light source far below which caused the walls of this infernal chamber to glow red. The walls were lined with cavities whose openings were barred, each housing a prisoner. There was little doubt in my mind that I was deep within the annals of Sheol, the abode of the damned whose point of entry was at the base of this casino. How I came to be in this place, I do not know.

I do not remember the reasoning for the internment of the poor people imprisoned within those cavities, but I do recall being tasked with their emancipation. As it turned out, the rulers of this casino, as well as the city surrounding it, were demons and if I wanted to free the poor inmates of Sheol I had to go through the casino and kill each demon, bringing an end to their reign of wickedness and greed. What followed was a series of fantastical happenings of bravery, skill, danger, espionage, and camaraderie. The only demon that I specifically remember fighting was a green naga of tremendous size. One by one the demons fell and as they did, more people began to rise up and join the fight. It was a hard battle, but it was a battle that we were winning.

I wish I could say that fought to the very end. I wish I could say that I was able to free those poor people trapped in Sheol. Alas, I awoke before I could complete my task and so, as far as I know, the captives still suffer and many of the demonic elites responsible for their imprisonment still live.

I'm with Tay K and another rapper we were with in chicago got shot and killed not far from us. I became lucid for a brief moment and knew I was dreaming. I then lost lucidity while walking around the block in the snow. So I decided to direct him to a near by store telling him how much of a mistake it was to bring him here. That's when we started chilling at the store looking at random stuff. A girl then approach me and we began talking. I pulled out my phone to get her number and to keep her as a contact. I then became lucid again and realize that I had to be dreaming.

I wonder where Tay K was and had a false awakening afterwards.

12/13/19: I had one of the most colorful dreams I could remember, but I wasn't sure if it was either a WILD or an LD. I now seem to have a feeling this was probably an attempt to get me back writing again, as I believe it tried to show a possible scene from my young-adult fiction writing project that I've been working on for the past seven years (post-writing about cars) and revised three years later (FBI/CIA/Interpol, etc.) when I celebrated twenty years of going down the creative writing path (a path I've been going down since starting fourth grade and switching schools in the process).

This dream came right around the one-year anniversary of the two back-to-back dreams I had from December 15-16, 2018 with the girls I tried to say were female equivalents of Lucas and Nathan on One Tree Hill, and they almost made it to my writing project.

Like the dream on December 15th last year, I found myself in a setting eerily similar to Adams Elementary in Cary, North Carolina -- which was once a traditional school that has since converted to a year-round school -- but it was the back of the building of the classroom where Ms. Welch taught her first-grade class that I seemed to remember from the 1994-95 school year (the final year for me to attend) on a sunny and partly cloudy day when outside near the playground, I notice what appears to be a teenage girl who had dyed her hair some sort of a bluish color with pink or hot magenta streaks in possession of what appeared to be either a journal or a three-ring binder, stuffed with a lot of paper. I don't strike a conversation with her or speak to her, and the dream ends at around 4-ish (4 A.M.).

I go back to sleep, and the second act of the dream begins where I'm at a house in what appears to be Cary, and talk with some people about the girl I met, and the dream made no sense whatsoever. I also appear to be in possession of her three-ring binder and her journal and the dream ends when I look through the peephole of a door and find that the girl from the playground/back of the building is at the front door, knowing I took her stuff.

I think I may have gotten this dream after getting an idea for my writing project a few days ago, and it faded out when my daily morning routine started, and I believe I may have dreamed of her between 2003 to 2017. In the waking moments up to at least 10 AM on the 14th, I started to think the character was kind of a mix -- personality-wise -- between Canadian singer-songwriter Avril Lavigne and Paramore frontwoman Hayley Williams, with a possible mix of the personalities of two students I used to know -- one at Adams Elementary in 1994-95 (same grade as me, but four months older than me); the other at Southeast Raleigh Magnet High in 2004-05 (that I may have first run into at a movie theater near the State Fairgrounds in 1996-97 when my dad and I went to see Space Jam -- and the student, who was about three or four years younger than me, decided to sit next to me near the front row, and the theater wasn't crowded at all).

Also, the Cary Towne Center -- which some North Carolinians are referring to as a "dead mall" (which I adamantly refuse to believe) -- is across the street from Adams, which, come to think of it, was probably not a good idea to place near a school. I wasn't sure what Town Hall employees and land developers were thinking when they did that -- probably because I wasn't even born yet. And even when I visit the town and have to make a stop at the mall, I seem to have adventures all over the place, thinking I would run into the former since 1997. I even remember taking a field trip to the mall in 2004, nervous about running into the former, when a teacher assured me that she was "still in school". That was also the day I walked into a Hot Topic store for the first time -- May 14th, to be exact. It's also the only mall in Wake County to have the store -- Crabtree Valley Mall and Triangle Town Center in Raleigh (you guessed it) don't.

Anyways, back to the dream -- like many others I received over the past few months -- about children and teenagers -- I believe was trying to tell me about how much I longed for the past, wishing to return to simpler times. I've been meaning to take a break from watching TV game shows and reality competitions for a while to nurture the inner child inside of me, but something inside is keeping me from doing that, also springing up unwanted stress and anxiety problems, including panic attacks. And there could be some things I may have failed to see such as talents I used to have. And I apologize in advance for neglecting my inner child, if that is the case.

And yes, I've had strange dreams about child and teen characters in the past, and this one is no different. I still need to get to work on that writing project -- I celebrate my 25th year on the creative writing path next year.

WM86/DFW signing off.

Yu came out into the hallway of a hotel outside our room naked. I was standing with these other girls Michelle and Tall Girl Sasha. Michelle and Tall Girl started groping her and making sexually aggressive comments about her body. Yu was really upset, crying and yelling stop. When she managed to get away, she started yelling at me thinking I was trying to setup a lesbian 4 way so she ran inside.

I think I punched Michelle and Sasha at this point and went inside my room.
Yu and I layed and talked for a while and I tried to comfort her.

Suddenly the door swung open and Michele and Tall Girl were back for revenge. They started punching me and we brawled until we were back outside of the door of the hotel room. We were many floors above the ground and I managed to throw both of them over the side railing to their deaths.


Then the dream took a really weird turn. I was in a college like environment and some guy was explaining the code for a game he wrote. But then a terrifying bug (literally a giant insect) emerged and started chasing me down. This was by far the most terrifying part of the dream. The bug was not only scary looking but it spoke directly into my head in a deep devil like voice.


The day before that I dreamed that I was having a really heart felt conversation with Lady Gaga. I felt a strong love for her (in a family sort of way) and blurted out "I love you to her". I realized then it is unlikely I would be conffessing my love to Lady Gaga and woke up. But, it was a false awakening and now I was departing off of a plane.

In the terminal, I stopped for a coffee. At the caffe, the cash register was on the second floor and I orded my drink their. I then went down an esculator to the first floor to pick up my drink

I wake up from and FA at Ramond and was already lucid and in the livingroom. It was all dark there and it was clear of people that I'd have to watchout for. So I walk across the livingroom and on to the external porch. I looked to be just getting into daytime and I go outside. It is all full of snow and was too cold and daunting. I turn around and go back inside and just as I was closing the door, a big robotic hand stops it. A large shadow loomed over me as the door closed and I was too afraid to move. My eye adjusted to what it was and saw that it was soundwave! He was all dark in color and looking at me with his red visor like eyes. The fear disappeared but returned as soon as he ran his fingers across the top of his chest. He was up to no good and knew he was smiling as he did that. He opened his chest slowly then snapped it shut at me.

I ran and he tried to grab my foot, but came up short and only clipped my ankle. I ran up the steps and into my moms lit room but got tackled from behind and into the bed. He held me and I began to feel something trying to enter me. He was trying to have sex with me! I tried to elbow his face but he dodged it, waving his finger . "nah uh uhhhh..." He slammed his glass chest into my face, pinning it against the bed mattress and I started feeling him enter me and then he starts pumping me, each time feeling him get deeper and deeper into me. My face got smeared against his glass chest and woke up because of it.

I start off in this dream already lucid from SP (Sleep paralysis). It is Night time and I'm in a dark unlit house, talking to my mom about what I'm about to do. She is wary about me going outside at odd hours of the night and I tell here that this is a dream. I go down to the basement landing where the side door is and I see two baby dinoes , one was a stego and I think the other was a trike. they were in the tiny hall circling eachother. "I like this place I said to my self" then turned to my mom who was now an owl. "I'll come back to here. I'm just gonna do a quick look outside. I head out to the door as my mom flies up into a large tree with pointy clear icicles on its branches. I took one last look at my mom and blew a kiss to her. She did the same, putting a feather over her beak and blowing me one back in return. I make it to the street that had barricades on each side. The cades looked like they were mixed and assorted metal like raiders would use to block off places in games. I see corrugated metal, various signs, construction barricades and some stop signs. I came out of an opening with barricades on each side of it and up ahead was another blocked off section of the road. I climbed over that and began to walk just up to the end of the street that only about a block in a half away. I can see it where I stand and started walking there. "Just gonna go there and back." Hoping I don't find anything which is usually the case. Soundwave was in mind on who I was looking for and about half way up to the corner, I saw something behind me.

I looked back and at the end of the second block I saw some vending machines and signs there and saw soundwave there looking at the merchandise. He was very cartoony and not very detailed as the one I'm looking for. I turned back to the right direction I intend to go and continued walking. I actually hoped that I didn't find anything out here.

Off to the right side was two brick building with a narrow alleyway. I guy on a bike came out and I saw that it was Soundwave! But he took off further up the street and I laughed and stopped. "hmm hmm hmmm! Of course!" I turn to cut the search short and as I did that, Soundwave rounded the corner towards me. I looked at him expecting him to drive away for ever but it didn't happen. instead he ended up driving over to me, parking the bike and with out getting off, leapt directly at me, grabbing on to me and nearly tackling me to the ground. I heard his unique voice make a sound then he grabs my arms and tried to pull me into he glass chest. I kicked him back but he didn't let go and yanked my face to his chest. It opened up and he tried to push my head into it and I start pushing on his chest, trying to escape from him and not get caught or eaten by him. I push on his chest, forcing it to close and would punch it every time he tried to open it up to put my head into. He was very big, detailed and stronger then me and in the scuffle ended up falling with him on top of me. I knew I was pinned under his weight and then he accidently headbutts me. I felt pain and he examines it, rubbing and kissing it. "oops" he says in his computer/ music voice. I elbowed him in the side of his head but he blocked it, brought his head up to mine and forcefully kisses me. I see a Gundam like face smootching me and he puts the red thing that sticks out on the chin gundams into my mouth.

2019, 12-11



Skyrim: The Slaver Trap

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at a mall with my mother. The fact my mother is coming with me into a mall should have triggered a reality check... she NEVER does that. But it seems normal to me. We go into the mall and start looking around. I have the idea the place is just about to close so we don't have much time. We go into a clothing store and I look to see if there is anything I like that will fit me. Neither my mom nor I find anything in our sizes. We leave and go to a video game / music store. There are both new and used games. I try a demo of a Mario Cart game, but I'm not doing very well. I keep driving off of the road. I start thinking the controller might be broken, because no matter how steady I hold it the car veers off to the right. I leave that and look for my mom. I don't see her. Apparently the game store is open later than the rest of the mall, it is still opening and showing no signs of closing. I go to another demo station. This has a cordless VR headset. I look at the price and cringe, it is almost $2,000. But I can still try the demo! I put the headset on and find I am in Skyrim VR. The graphics look great! I realize there are no controllers, but I can see my hands. My hands are the controllers! I want this sooooo bad... so I get into the demo.

I find I am in Windhelm just outside the Palace of the Kings. I have a quest marker near the main gates to Windhelm, so I hurry to there. Ambarys, the dark elf from the New Gnsis CornerClub is there waiting. What does he want? He's one of the most racist assholes in Windhelm, along with Rolff Stone-Head. When I approach him he says he was about to give up on me coming. I wonder if I could help him get over his racist tendencies. I have decided I need a way to do this that doesn’t involve a fus to the face. That is not very effective. With this in mind, as Ambarys and I leave Windhelm I start singing the song See Who I Am by Within Temptation. “Is it true what they say? Are we too blind to find a way? Fear of the unknown clouds our hearts today. Come into my world, see through my eyes. Try to understand, don't want to lose what we have…” Ambarys asks if I’m now a bard, too? I don’t answer, I just continue. “See who I am, break through the surface. Reach for my hand, let's show them that we can free our minds and find a way. The world is in our hands, this is not the end.” Light energy forms around us and flows through Ambarys. I don’t know what brought him to hate those different than him, but this should help more than a fus to the face.

We soon arrive at an isolated part of the road from Windhelm to Kynesgrove. I tell Ambarys to keep hidden, I’ll go out there and be a traveler to hopefully draw the orc out. Ambarys says if the orc gets me there’s nothing he can do. I say if the orc gets me it will be the orc’s problem, not Ambarys’. It is late afternoon as I walk down the street as if I’m in no particular hurry to get anywhere. I hear someone call for help from behind a bush. I carefully approach and find a male orc leaning on a tree, holding his side. I ask if he is ok. He says a bandit attacked him and he needs help. I get a little closer and he jumps on me. I respond immediately with a fus. FUS-RO-DAH! The orc is launched into the air. He flies out across the road and slams into a tree. He struggles to get up. I tell him I know he is the one who has been kidnapping travelers and selling them as slaves, that ends now. He is pissed and says I won’t live to tell anyone. I ask where he has been taking the slaves he captures. He says he’ll never tell me. I use my telepathy and read it from his mind. I tell him he just did tell me. He pulls out an axe and comes at me. It is too easy to cut him down with my Alex Mercer blade.

I return to Ambarys and ask if he has seen anyone else involved with the slaves. He says no, just the orc. And he only made the one deal with him, he’d never done anything like that before. He seems desperate to make me believe that. He says I have to tell the jarl that. I say my word might not mean a lot since I fus’d said jarl in the face for being rude. He looks shocked and asks what the jarl did… I shrug and say he fus’d me back. Then I start to wonder if I screwed up and will have to load a previous save. Fus’ing Ulfric in the face probably isn’t the best way to get his cooperation, but maybe solving the slave trade issue will make up for it. I tell Ambarys I won’t mention his involvement, but I can’t say that for anyone else. Tell everyone it had to look like he was in on the slave trade to keep from tipping that orc off. And the orc is in multiple pieces, he can’t argue. We are headed back when I wake up.

It all started with a brief paralysis I had. I woke up from it so I thought no LD today either, and went to sleep normally.
The coming dream is hazy for me so I don't remember much. But I know that there was this girl whos presence brought me some kind of peace and for this I started to speculate
that this girl may be god or a form of a higher force, and that I may learn something important from her , so I tried to get near her to talk to her
That's when it started
I found myself at home, figured I woke up , then I went to look out the windows and saw that there are no streets anymore anywhere,
just endless heaps of trash, and endless amount of trash men picking up stuff. Also there was a mild fog .
I didn't become lucid yet, but I found it weird that there are no streets. Then I woke up again, I don't know how many times I woke up, but things got more creepy and grotesque and darker.
And then I ended up in what I call the shadow realm. I kind of became lucid because I realized its morning in real life , but here there was total darkness.
the lights in teh whole house were flickering , giving a deeper orange faint light with a reddish hue , I felt like theres a dark presence in the dream the whole time but nothing turned up.
I went to door to check out the street, it was like in real life but all the lights were off ,so it was just total darkness with a little bit of a faint red light coming from the sky, I could barely see anything.
But I saw that there are shadows 'dancing' all over the street, but none of it attacked me or anything. I quickly closed the door and went back in. I didn't know what to do.
I said that I guess I'm like Alan Wake , stuck in a dream, never knowing if I actually got out or if it's another dream.
𐤏𐤄𐩤𐤐 𐤁ߣ𐩤ߖߖ𐤏 𐤓𐤏𐤓 ߡ 𐤓𐤁𐤓 𐤅ߡ 𐩤ߖߖ 𐤂𐩪ߖ ߡ 𐤓𐩪𐤉ߖ𐤄

I entered the room laid down and tried to wake up
from there on my recall gets bad again
I woke up a few times in another instances of my home , once I woke up for real and then slipped back into the shadow realm then at a point I thought I'm done for, and prayed
and then I finally woke up

It was my first instance of being unable to wake up, it was really weird and scary...

The last couple of days I didn't work out. I noticed that I had high counts of nightmares. I did have some control in the nightmares so I'm not sure if that's good or bad. And the dreams from couple days ago were in highschool. They appeared to be in a computer lab. Sarah was there in both of those days. Not today though. I did change stuff up and dreams appeared to have changed also, no more nightmares.

Today I recall that I dreamt about a young boy, likely peter, writing things in backwards or mirrored, like how davinci would write.

I think I had a couple of other dreams but didn't write them down.

At the end I dreamt that I was trying to write my DJ. But I couldn't erase stuff on it. Then an FA. Exact same thing. I noticed the dejavu and I did get lucid here I think, but woke.

+since I was trying to write the DJ, I must've recalled a dream and tried to write it down then but forgot about the dream later.

I also remember I had another dream after, tried to do deild instead of writing though.

Morning of December 10, 2019. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,349-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



My mother and I were to get off the bus in Northside La Crosse in the afternoon. There is a distraction, and we remain en route to Southside La Crosse. My mother is annoyed (though this is illogical, as she seems more aware than I am in this dream and should have been aware of an upcoming bus stop).

My non-lucid dream has robbed me of my identity, which is typical. There is no recall of my mother dying in 2002 and no recall of any factor in my life since the 1980s, and yet my dream self feels perhaps 40 years old. Ultimately, this is not deliberate in a specific sense, but a result of incidental synaptic gating. However, synaptic gating works in a way to avoid a valid waking-life recall until the final gating factor with full consciousness. My non-lucid dreams are also the opposite of waking-life correlation (unless prescient or transpersonal). The trip from Northside La Crosse to Southside La Crosse would be typical in real life, as we already lived in Northside La Crosse, so my dream’s situation is ridiculous, that is, the direct opposite of the truth.

My dream’s induction is all about imaginary proprioception. When I try to get off the bus from its right, even though other passengers get off (including my mother), I only see a small opening, about two-thirds the size needed. This event is the wall mediation factor (that occurs throughout every sleep cycle). It indicates that I cannot move my physical body as I sleep (and although my waking orientation is usually to the right as I sleep on my left side, there is an additional factor here, explained later). I complain to the driver that I cannot get off the bus (either move my real body or yet correlate my imaginary dream body with my dream self’s perception). Another opening appears to the left of the first, about where real bus doors would be in America. It is more like a door, but irregular, still not big enough for me to get off the bus. I become slightly more dream-cognizant and teleport to where my mother is standing, near a group of people. We are at the post office (potential for enigmatic space or liminal space communication).

I start complaining about having lost my bag of books (cognitive arousal). I consider someone else might have taken them. My mother informs me that they are near where she is standing. Although I pick them up, this focus vanishes in the next scene.

We have to go back to Northside La Crosse, our original destination. I decide to go in a particular direction (that is fictitious). I instinctually summon water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation). A beautiful river is on our right as we walk along a narrow road as my dream vivifies. We reach an area where we need to go up a slope. (This feature stems from the summoning of imaginary proprioception and vestibular system correlation that occurs in all longer dreams at one point or another, though I often use a staircase.) My dreaming experience vivifies again, just on the threshold of lucidity. However, I consider my mother will not be able to ascend the slope, so my cognizance (and imaginary physicality) decreases.

We somehow end up back near the La Crosse post office. A bus goes by, stopping briefly at an intersection (RAS autosymbolism of synaptic gating). This time, the doors are on the left and appear correct (big enough to get on and off the bus). I call out to my mother, “This is how buses should be.” (Why did I say this? Because with the synaptic gating event, I attain a subliminal recall that only buses in Australia look like this. However, I am still not aware of my true identity or the recall I live in Australia in real life.)

In the final scene, my mother boards a bus, saying it is the one we should take (back to Northside La Crosse), though I have my doubts. When we are on the bus, all I see are male and female students (all wearing the same uniforms as in an Australian school) from about sixth to eighth grades. I am uncertain if this is where we should be. This final synaptic gating event implies increasing cognizance (students going to school). Even though the students are Australian, I am not conscious until the last process. In hot weather, achieving consciousness (from the dream state) is more sluggish, validated by neuroscience.

---

2019, 12-09

Skyrim: A Fus for a Fus

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at a toy show. I am there by myself, but that doesn't seem odd. I am looking at classic toys. I find a model of the God-Phoenix from G-Force anime. I always liked that ship so I look closer to see how much it is. I notice there are some pieces missing, but they look like pieces I could make myself out of clay. And the price is way discounted because of the damage! I pick it up and see part of it slides open to reveal the interior. This is cool. There are little figures sitting inside the ship. I take the ship to the cashier to buy it. The cashier looks at the model, then at the price, then calls his assistant over. He gets angry at the assistant, saying he labeled the God Phoenix wrong. He reveals to me that the price is somewhere around ten times what it was marked. After briefly arguing I give up and leave without the model. I wonder if he priced it wrong on purpose to get people wanting it and unwilling to let it go when they find out the real price. I am angry and I walk outside, not paying much attention to those around me. Our of the corner of my eye I see a woman trying to hold a sick looking man up. My anger fades and I go to help her. When she looks up I see she is an elf... it's Suvaris from Skyrim! She asked where I'd gone, leaving my friend to her. I look and see the man is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. I look around and I realize I'm not in Tucson anymore. It looks more like Windhelm. I help Suvaris support Roland to take him... I don't remember where we're taking him, but I hope he can get help.

Suvaris, Roland, and I arrive at the Palace of the Kings. Suvaris says she won’t go inside. I tell her there is no reason not to help me get Roland inside. She says there is a good reason, but continues helping me as I get Roland inside. Ulfric is in there and asks who Roland is? Ulfric sees Suvaris even though she is trying to stay hidden behind Roland and me. Ulfric looks annoyed and asks what she’s doing here. I say she’s helping with my friend, who has been poisoned. Ulfric says he wants Suvaris out now. I tell Ulfric not to make me fus him. Ulfric says he will agree to a lot of things but he will not… I don’t want to hear another rude word so I turn and fus Ulfric in the face. FUS-RO-DAH! He flies into the wall. Suvaris looks shocked and asks what I’ve done. I say it's no big deal, all I did was fus Ulfr… I lose my hold on Roland as I get fus’d. I am thrown against a wall, now I’m fighting uncontrollable laughter. The fact I got fus’d back seems hilarious. Now I want to try something. I get up and ask if Ulfric calls that a fus, that wasn’t a fus, it was a gentle breeze. I annoy him into fus’ing me again, but I respond with Whiplash by Metallica. The force of the fus reflects back at Ulfric. I tell Roland I’ve learned something new… it IS possible to fus yourself! Then I crack up laughing.

I take hold of Roland again and my laughter dies instantly. He’s burning up with fever. The poison has come back with a vengeance. Suvaris says to stop this nonsense, she’s leaving. She pushes Roland onto me and leaves. Roland is barely conscious. He calls me Susan and tries to kiss me. He is delirious. I tell him I’m not Susan… I’m Raven. It looks like Ulfric wants to be pissed but is more curious. He asks how I did that; how did I turn his shout back on him? It’s the whiplash effect, which will reflect any energy-based attack back at the attacker. To be honest I’d been unsure if it would work on a fus. Roland passes out. Ulfric motions to a couple guards (who surprisingly stayed out of our fus exchange) and they take Roland. I tell them no, leave Roland alone, I’m the one who attacked Ulfric, Roland did nothing… let him go or I'll fus your asses straight to... Ulfric interrupts and says they will take Roland to the court mage, Wuunferth, to get healing. He says a guard told him one of the elves was helping me catch a slave trader? Crap… I’m supposed to meet Ambarys to stop that orc! I look at Roland as the guards take him from the room. I hesitate. Ulfric insists Roland will be fine. I say I have to stop the orc and leave, only to wake up just outside the doors.

Not much to report this week. nothing vivid.

Last week I commented I missed dreams of having a hug with Jamie. so.... As if in response I get a dream we are making out passionately. Not quite Just hugging but I won't complain.

Second dream, was me walking around a house with Jamie in it. And she was being really quiet and kind of avoiding me. Okay so she's at the, "I'll be good to you and go back to being mad at you." phase.

Haunted

A dream of being in a large haunted abandoned building with people from the youtube channel: The paranormal files. Jamie was there but she went missing in the giant abandoned place and the rest of us were looking for her.

Morning of December 9, 2019. Monday.

Dream #: 19,348-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec.



Sleep-wake mediation begins with the typical activation of the preconscious simulacrum (reticular activating system personification) as intrusive to make my dream state less inviting and sustainable. My identity is extant to a partial degree, as I recall Zsuzsanna and our family, but our home is fictitious. The preconscious simulacrum is an unfamiliar woman who is staying with us and is supposedly Zsuzsanna’s friend. She has a young daughter and son. At one point, it is late at night, and I cannot rest or focus because she and her children are making noise (with the attempt to pull me out of the dream state), so I tell them to get out. There is increased neuron energy in my annoyance, which vivifies my dream, but this does not wake me. Even so, a wall opens up, though it leads more inward into the dream state by my intent, and I see everyone else walking out into a forest. It is still night.

I walk into the forest, finding it a pleasurable setting. The woman and her two children have gone behind some dense shrubbery. The vague awareness my dream is becoming a bathroom wake-up call remains in the background. The preconscious becomes an animal semblance. A bear is in the woods, so I decide to turn around and find shelter. Ambiguity becomes a factor, and the house no longer exists, but there is still a bathroom left. I go in. The bear follows me, but I close the door. At times, I can see its claws slide in and out under the door. I hold the door closed, my strength keeping the bear from coming in. Wall mediation vivifies my dream and increases awareness of my identity. Imaginary physicality and momentum become more realistic.

I try to sustain my dream despite my need to wake. I fill my hands with water from the running faucet of the bathtub on my right. The tangibility of the water is amazingly realistic, and I can feel its heat (cortical arousal overriding virtual melatonin mediation). I think the bear might be annoyed by the hot water, so I continue to fling it under the door. The bear seems annoyed but does not leave. The dynamics of cortical arousal integrate more with the situation, and guns appear. I suddenly have a Beretta in my right hand, and there are now weapons and several rounds of ammunition on the other side of the door. I shoot the pistol under the door at a rocket launcher. My act implies ambiguous intent as I typically use fire to wake myself. The house exists again. The missile curves, but its trajectory remains adjacent to the outer walls of the house. With x-ray vision, I see its flames. I also hear a loud sizzling. I am amused. I anticipate it will explode near the front of the house. I sense my thoughts creating the dream content, but release the dynamics of cortical arousal so that I remain in the dream state. As a result, the rocket does not explode.

I make one more attempt to reset my dream. I open the door, and the bear becomes smaller, backs away, and falls into a pothole filled with water. Only its head is visible. The house is gone again, and it is if I am looking at a street. Even so, I turn to go into the forest, and the house appears again.

Sleep-wake mediation continues, and my dream’s potential exit point renders as a store’s checkout (which is common). Zsuzsanna is here. The preconscious personification is here with her two children, except they are now both boys. I make one more attempt to remain in the dream state. I walk back to the beginning of the checkout and pick up a magazine (cognitive arousal). Liminal awareness that reading is often not viable in the dream state causes the magazine to fly out of my hands and slap against the ceiling, briefly sticking to it (vestibular cortex liminality). Two can play at this game, so I use telekinesis to cause the magazine to fly rapidly all around the checkout area and slap into my hands three times. The preconscious, now a man, looks on with puzzlement, and I finally wake myself by going to the end up the checkout (exit point).

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Compare this with another recent bathroom wake-up call dream where I was in an underwater bathroom and holding the door against a giant catfish. Another dreaming experience rendered the RAS semblance as a vulture, blocking me from the bathroom in that instance because of vestibular system correlation and drop anticipation (with its association with flying or falling). There was one with the same dynamics with a snake, and one with a lioness as the RAS semblance. Some people might wonder why a different RAS semblance occurs with what is otherwise the same simple process each time. The reason is to prevent a pattern from emerging, which would confuse the dream self into thinking there is wakefulness consistency present.

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