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Sunday, 9/1/13

Last night, bed 11:37 - 9am

DR 1 -
I get into a court yard through an opened gate. There is some sense of urgency. Some houses on the street look like they went through some battle.

From the cement courtyard, I climb inside through a small opening in the wall, that looks like it was made by some explosion. There is a lots of debree. I bend down and climb under it. I think I'm either dragging or encouraging someone to follow me.

The streets are quiet, but I know it's just a quiet before storm. We expect either some invasion, or it's already happening and we have just minutes to hide.

I see boots approaching. Looks like some soldier, maybe like from Hellghast. He is looking around. But I know, we are safe, so I'm worried.

DR 2 -
I'm moving some boxes. One box is bigger that the door frame. We have to open it and disassemble what's inside, before we can take it through the door.

DR 3 -
I'm in lavish house or apartment. Some kind of danger is approaching. Maybe a wildfire. So me and a woman who lives there are looking for a hotel to stay at, that would also take cats.

1) I go in the bathroom to change (at grandma’s house?), but Rane is in there changing too. When I put on the clothes, something isn’t right. They’re choking me but I can’t get them off. Rane starts helping me but is taking too long and I’m starting to panic, I start getting lightheaded and reach back to pull some Velcro apart, and the clothes fall off.

We get in a bit of a fight, something about not trusting. I say something sarcastically to her. ‘So I should just…and trust…”

2) We’re preparing to move. There’s a truck outside. Dad is cooking something. I step down on a step where food is (spaghetti sauce?), but no one says anything about me getting the food dirty.

I ask mom if I can get my jacket, but she says I won’t need it?, but I want it.

Inside, the cats were put into rooms to keep them out of the way. Jazzy loves all over me when I go in. One cat gets out at one point and I put them back in a room. I feel sorry for them.

I remember one door was open a crack, I figure two cats must be sharing a room then if no one is using one - hopefully it’s Smoke and Jazzy since they might get along better than Spice and Jazzy.

I also remember trying to turn the lights on but they wouldn’t come on, the rooms were dark. I figured mom must have turned the breaker off. I wonder if the cats are scared of the darkness.

3) We’re heading somewhere in a vehicle but I’m not happy and want to go back. I say something about how I will, and mom makes fun of me. ‘Oh, you will?’. There’s a white screen projecting in the back, and symbols pop up telling where we need to go. One is a Y symbol.

4) Like 5 people getting into a pose for something.

Possible inspiration: A lot of these dreams had shades of dissatisfaction in them! Maybe that’s why I was in such a bad mood today. :/ And they were connected. I wonder if I've been falling back asleep and waking back up with this gathering of fragments. 2#: Had spaghetti the other day. Think one of the piece of clothes in #1 was a skirt I was thinking about wearing yesterday.

The first is a dream about 'my room' from last night. The second is a fragment about cats and the third is a false awakening fragment.

• I find myself in 'my' room. I have had some friends visiting me, but now they are gone. Only one of them is still here, I think he is going to sleep here. It feels like it has been a nice evening together and we are tired and ready to go to bed.
  
  I start cleaning up the mess that the others have left behind, there are so many small things and pieces all over the place. I decide to just put it all onto my ironing board and then to just put away the ironing board. There are some beautiful group photos of me with my friends among the things, they evoke nice memories, so I handle them with care, while I do the rest of the cleaning very fast and sloppily.
  
  I look over to the couch and see my friend sleeping already. He lies on my big, red pillow. I wake him up and tell him that I want to fold out the couch, so that there is space for both of us. I begin to prepare our bed, and as I turn around for one second, it suddenly is already finished and he is sleeping. Peaceful, delighting sight.
  
  I walk around in the room. I tell myself that this is my room, so of course it is familiar to me, including everything in it. In one corner there are ~10 paintings from my mother. I think 'She is getting really good, I like her paintings'. I feel thankful for having the paintings here with me, they are very colorful. I put them aside to make a little space in the room. In another corner there are two empty beds, I recognize them as the beds I and my brother had, when we were children. I think it's funny that they are still around and I wonder why. Then I walk over to the couch with my friend and go to bed.
  
  My dream logic did not even consider using the beds for sleeping. I had never seen this room in waking life before, but in the dream it felt so familiar and it was clear to me that it was my room. There was something from every room I ever had in my life in that dream room.
  
  
• There is a wooden bed. It has no mattress, it is only hard wood, but somehow it feels comfortable to sit on it. I lay down a blanket and put a neat little kitty on it. I pet the little grey kitty and it seems to enjoy it very much. It stretches out and I pet it's stomach.
  
  I grew up with cats, but I have not had a cat since I live at my current place. I would love to have a cat.
  
  
• I 'wake up'. It is my bed, it must be late in the morning, it is already bright outside. The air is fresh and cold, because the window was open during the night. I hear the birds twittering outside. Suddenly there is a small bird in my bed. I am surprised, but very delighted. It hops around in the bed, trying to catch a fly. Eventually it succeeds and it looks proud of itself with the insect hanging out of it's beak.
  
  I like false awakenings, they are always funny in some way. I have had quite a few of them recently, I should remember to RC when I wake up, it seems to me that I forget that very often.

The entire dream takes place in a two story house where my fiancée and I live, but not in real life. If this place exists in real life, I want to know about it because it is awesome.

The first part of the dream was concentrated on trying to prove that some people who had come into my house were trying to steal from and harm me. It lasted a while and ultimately resulted in them leaving because I had proven their intentions. I can't remember specifics, only bits of memory.

The second part of the dream started where I was sitting in a chair on the bottom floor, when a cat walked up to me and rubbed against my leg. I stared at it and thought "Wait, I don't have a cat yet?" Then I noticed another cat, and another until there were dozens. I walked into the living room and found they had opened and small window on the wall next to the floor, like those you have in you're basement, and they had also managed to open the screen. They kept pouring in and I knew that they had been the cats living under my house. I managed to round them all up and herd them back outside through the small window, then I closed it and the screen. I walked into the other room when suddenly a lioness walked up to me and started rubbing against me also. I was shocked, what was a lion doing in a rural area. Then after a while of trying to get her to leave, which she refused to do, another lion came up to me. I could tell he was young because his mane was just now starting to grow in, but he had jaguar spots. I assumed he was a lion, jaguar hybrid. All they wanted to do was play with me, and on my way to my mothers room (both my mother and brother lived with me at this point), a black panther showed up and joined the happy, playful, other big cats. I got to my mothers room and woke her up. She asked what were these big cats doing here and I told her they had just showed up. She got up and left her room, then I lead them into the room, ran out fast, and closed the door. My brother was awake and asking what was going on so I told him. He got excited and went into the room to play with them. I warned him that just because they were tame doesn't mean they won't go into hunter mode and try to eat him if he made the wrong move. He ignored me and continued on. I grabbed my phone while my mother explained to me that when lots of cats live under your house it means you have a snake din under your house too, and she knew people that had lots of cats show up only to have snakes pour out of the crevices moments later. I blocked up the widow again and started looking everywhere for the number to animal control. The lions had destroyed my moms room by that time and we re herded them into the down stairs bathroom. My mom said they would just destroy that too but I had to put them somewhere. My brother had stopped playing with them and they were in the bathroom alone. I continued looking for a number everywhere then finally tried the Internet. I found a number after a long, annoying, search and called them. A lady answered and I told her that three Jungle cats had made their way into my house and she told me that someone was on the way. My dad came over and my mom went outside to join him. They were talking about something and I ended up in the backseat while my dad drove my mother and I away. After he rounded the corner I freaked out and said I had to be there when animal control got there or they would leave. My dad argued but finally agreed to turn around. I suddenly got a very bad feeling and became afraid for my life. My dad was driving really fast and recklessly. I told them my fears and he just wondered why I thought that. He missed my road and we started driving in an area I didn't recognize. Suddenly, the realization dawned on me that I was dreaming. I became very relieved and decided I would do a WILD. I succeeded and found I had no patience for a crazy drive around the block so I made the road to my house appear and my dad took it. Upon arrival to my house I lost the WILD and went fully back into the dream, but stayed lucid. I went inside and found the animal control dead in my moms room. My brother said the two lions had bi-polar disorder and went crazy. I saw them and grabbed a piece of meat, then I threw it in the bathroom and re trapped them. They started clawing madly at the door while I called animal control again. They sent another person my way when we all started working on barricading the door with our bodies before it got broken out. They had busted it up to be pretty thin, but we managed to keep it closed, mostly from my lucid influence, when animal control finally arrived. I told him what had happened and he brought in a net gun. We opened the door and he shot a net at them that had special properties to put whatever was inside it to sleep. He asked where they came from and I said most likely someone in the area had raised them without the authorities knowledge. I asked him to check under my house for snakes as well and we followed him down there. We went under the porch and he started pulling up the paneling one by one and found there were no snakes. Instead there was hundreds of rats. They got angry when a flashlight was shone on them and we left. I got stuck under the boards of my porch when my claustrophobia came over me. I started panicking so I teleported myself by lucid means to the other side of the porch and found everyone else had gotten stuck too. Knowing they couldn't do what I had just done, I helped pull them out one by one. Animal control left after that and when I went back inside I found that he had forgotten the big cats passed out on my floor, and they were starting to wake up. I called them and told them they had to come back. I was waiting for them to return when I started thinking about another dream I had had in the past and decided I wanted to know what had happened to it while I was gone. I transported my vision to look at a place I had lived in another dream. I found that it had been bought by a guy with a motor cycle and that made me unhappy. I really liked that place and hated how that dream had ended up, with me having to leave and sell the house. I saw him motor away and found that he had put up a circular motorcycle ramp in the backyard. I was glad that he had kept the tree swing and playground structures though. I was discussing the place with my mom when I woke up.

This lucid dream actually made me very happy after I woke up. I found I managed to do these lucid things with little to no difficultly for the first time hurray for progress.

Date: 17th Aug

Pre bed: SJW, 100 mg B6

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Dream quality and recall: vivid, some stability issues, evading recall

Non-ld: I am in the place I used to live before. There are problems with the lock and I am trying to avoid my new neighbors. Once again, I am staying here only temporary and prepare my stuff to leave the next day...

WBTB:I got woken up, decided to use as WBTB, repeated mantra a few times, distractions again.

LD1: I finally fall asleep and find myself on the street of the same town from my past, near the post office. There is also a bear there. A bear? Lucid. I don't pay any more attention to the bear but on its place two large dogs appear, behaving menacingly. I just want to go forward and stretch my hands, as if feeling the dream/wind or whatever but the dogs bite my hand. The biting causes a strange sensation of burning pain, I struggle to get rid of the dogs. As they won't go away, I decide to ask the rest of the DCs for help. There are lots of DCs passing by on the nearby street and I start calling for help, but nobody pays me any attention. However, the moment I start asking for help those dogs get out of my sight and disappear. I look at the DCs which are like a school of fish, silently passing by, many of them having dogs on leashes, small to big ones different breeds. It looks absolutely insane.

I have no idea what happened, but now I am in a dark room, no sign of DCs or dogs. I finally remember that one way to deal with scary creatures is to transform into something scarier or at least powerful, so I decide I would do the tiger transformation. I get on the floor and first of all hear coming from me a slightly muffled but tiger's roar which I actually didn't mean to do. Then I try to feel my legs, but I kind of concentrate on my human body too much, so the transformation is only half done. I can't see much of my limbs to confirm if they are human or animal ones, just feel that I am stuck in the middle of the process and want to look in some reflective surface to check what's going on. My mood goes quite bad as I get bored doing this and wonder what to do next but the dream ends.

Micro-ld: I am on a ferry type of boat, on the upper deck that is open. It also reminds me of all these city boat tours they offer at various places I have been to with my mom. My mom is also there telling me to be careful, so I hold on to the rail. It is quite cold so I get out my blanket. I notice that the sky is covered with dark clouds which are much closer to the boat than they are supposed to be. I hold on even tighter and then see that a tornado has formed in the distance. I get a very convincing false memory that I recently had a dream about this? and now am seeing it irl. There's something about this whole thing and the tornado so I become lucid. In the meantime the driver of the boat moves us closer to the river bank and allows the passengers to disembark safely. I look at the tornado with interest and decide I will try to avoid it by going to the subway station where it has no reach. (I'd say my mind was kind of foggy for ld). I immediately reach a subway passage but before I get in, I have another look at the tornado. It is huge and partially turns into some sort of drilling machine as I stare at it. It also comes closer. I decide it's time to quit playing and go underground and figure out what to do from there.

I have no idea or rather memory what happened, it seems like the dream ended, I briefly lost consciousness then on to the next dream.

LD2: I am in the yard of our old neighborhood and bf is making some kind of sex-related remarks. I ignore him and bf just leads the way towards the street. I notice that both of us are barefoot and concentrate on the feeling, while getting a mix of false and true memories.

At this point I become lucid and we continue towards the fence. As I get there, I see some animals again. A medium size dog that is coming towards me and also a cat, then two more cats appear. I get the feeling that all these animals are attracted to/by me and think that this is becoming very similar to OB's issue with the blankets. I try to make make them go away, making funny movements with my hands. Then I succeed in turning them against each other. This is a very entertaining sight although I do feel slightly guilty doing this, now the cat has turned into a kitten and is wrestling the dog. They are more in some sort of confrontation than real fight but I am amazed that I am actually controlling their movements. After my sense of wonder/amusement subsides, I leave them and move on down the street, bf with me.

I go over some tasks but am reluctant to engage in something that will destabilize the dream too much. However, the moment I think about Angel Falls, I notice the sound of running/falling water from a nearby yard. In my mind, I know that's something else, but I think it can be used to summon Angel Falls. So what I do is I turn my back on the yard and the sound, concentrate on it and start walking backwards towards it, expecting AF to be there. Bf is holding my hands as I am walking backwards and the dream turns void-like, mostly I see darkness behind me as I walk. I am slightly worried that I might stumble upon some unexpected object but then remind myself that there is really nothing there.

I slowly turn and check the result. This is not our neighborhood anymore, but it is still the yard of some people and there are lots of watery things there. Hard to describe, two fountains/geysers, puddles of water, also water randomly springing and running over the place. The yard abruptly ends and I see small amounts of water running down the stone edge, which gives me some hope. As I look down I see that the next level is about two floors below and there is an inland beach. I also check out the surroundings and see that beyond that inland beach is a valley with trees and the sea at the end of it.

I feel that I won't have the time to go to the sea and chose to use the inland beach for the advanced TOTM. There also small kids there, something like sand and rocks near the water. It is quite high and as I finally gather the courage and prepare to jump in the water, the dream ends.

#203 - 4:24AM - WILD/DEILD

I wake from some dream. It feels like nothing but hypnagogia. I roll to my left and take a peek at the clock and see it's 4:02AM. I decide to do breathing meditation. After some time I see a lot of hypnagogia and my body feels different. I focus on relaxing my body more and it starts to feel like jell-o. Suddenly I get strong vibes.

I try rolling but nothing really happens. It feels a little like I am spinning but not very vivid. I can't "get out of bed" so I just visualize walking in the living room and am very pleased when I see the dream slowly turn "on" like a dimmer switch on a light. I take a few steps in the living room and become annoyed by the feel of something like a hood on my head. It starts to obstruct my vision and instead of fighting it, I just ignore it by rubbing my hands and then feeling the floor.

My vision clears up and I see my cats near me. I reach out to pet them but they dart away from me. There is a third cat that I don't have in waking life and I reach out to pet it as well but it shies away like the others. Finally I reach out a littler faster and more determined and grab Stella. She tries to get away at first and then yields like she finally recognizes me. As I pet her I try to remember my goals but as hard as I might try nothing comes to mind. I decide to just enjoy the moment and let it go. I soon wake up.

I lay still recalling the dream. Suddenly I remember that I wanted to find my guru in the dream. I have been reading a lot of Dream Yoga material and like the idea of getting wisdom from my higher self. I decide at that point to go ahead and try to DEILD. I totally relax my body now and get vibrations straight away.

I wait a moment and let the vibes intensify and then fade a little. Instead trying to move I just tell myself there is someone at the front door. I think about opening it and the dream materializes once again. For some reason I feel like I am losing lucidity and I remind myself to be aware. As I try to open the door I think I have to unlock it first. The dead bolt isn't working right and I remind myself how silly this is. I stop messing with the lock and just open the door.

The air outside feels cold on my bare skin. I feel embarrassed by the idea that I am just in my underwear. I decide to let that go and step into the yard. I look up to call out to the dream. The sky has a partial moon obscured by clouds. I call out, "Where is my guru? Guru, come here!"

A helicopter roars by and then hovers above me some at a normal distance in the sky. As I watch it, it morphs and distorts. I am not amused. This is pretty normal for my dreams. Then, I hear a car drive behind me in the street. I turn to look but only catch the tail lights as it blurs past.

I call out the dream again, "Rinpoche! Can you please come to me?" Something makes me want to look down the street to my right. At the end of the block, there is a shadowed figure of a man standing motionless under the yellow glow of a street lamp. He is just looking at me. This not that creepy as first so I smile and motion him to come to me. The begins slowly walking and I think faster. Suddenly, his movement blurs a little then blinks out and reappears much closer all in an instant. The look of it is a little creepy and like a horror film. As I fight the instinct to be afraid and run, he zoom walks like this several times until he is standing before me. (Thinking about his after the fact, isn't this how we all move in the dreamscape without realizing it?)

Now I see his face. I am surprised that he is a clean cut dark completed Italian man who looks a lot (but not exactly) like Shia Labeouf. The very non-Tibetan-Buddhist looking man promptly sticks out a hand and says his name is "Dolce" (dōl'chā'). I shake his hand and before I can speak he says, "You are Straight.
I am confused by this and dumbly say, "My name is Straight. OK. And you said you are Dol...?"
"Dolce."
"Dolc?" I repeat this over and over in my mind to remember. I also note his strange manner of speaking. He sounds a little like he is from the Bronx but also very foreign. (I had never heard of Dolce that I can recall until now and I didn't know it was an Italian word at the time.) I also note he is wearing blue jeans and a gray hoodie, hood up.
He nods at me and says, "I like how you were all like..." and makes a mocking gesture with his hands that I don't really understand. With out a moments pause he continues to ramble about being concerned for his family. He wants to know how they are doing. He asks about his sister and mother and...
I interrupt him, "Can you just tell me something wise? I really don't have much t..."
Now he cuts me off "In a moment." Now, he begins pacing back and forth seeming preoccupied with something.
I let out a quiet. "Oh my God." as I realize that this is not going to happen. He continues talking so fast that it begins to sound like gibberish to me. I begin to have to fight to stay focused on the dream and in a few moments I wake up saying to myself REMEMBER

Thursday 7/25/13

Last night bed 10:55 - 3:21, Involuntary WBTB 3:21 - 4:20, then trying to fall asleep till 5, when I moved to sofa to WILD.

DR 3:21 - I'm on one of the higher floors of a large building. Dormitory or hotel. But nobody is there, only me and a few people. 3-4 of us sleep in the same room. It's hot and I'm in tanktop and undies. I finally ask them if it's ok for me to be dressed that way, one answers that it makes him uncomfortable.

There is some crazed family after us. Few kids and two adults.

I hide my cat from them in another room. Then they pretend to be vacuming and cleaning, I guess to be able to get close to us without suspicion. Then I remember I hid my cat in that room and run there, really scared, if he is still there. I find him under bed and he runs to me immediatelly, jumps in my arms and he whimpers, cries, shivers, clings to me - he was so scared. I feel so bad for him.

Then he starts talking to me. Normal sentences. I'm so surprised. The others want to tell the world about talking cat, but I stop them.

Then we ahve a fight with the crazy family members in the corridor. We subdue the kids, and father tells us we should worry about the mother, 'coz she is the real nutz.

DR - My former teacher is showing me her house, so I can find it from other reality, or when I'm in alternate reality.

DR - Promoting someone to DG and someone to mod

DR - I'm in my moms bed, showing someone how to induce LD/OBE, just by inducing sensations associated with transition.

DR from night before - I got a facefull of spider webs

Dream recall from today's nap. Got lucid but waking memory was almost nonexistent. Also dream was pretty long, but i can recall only few fragments.

I was near some kind of movie theater. Then later i was at home and there was some stuff going on. The room layout was entirely different and i was watching some movie and was talking with somebody about sleep. Some family members were distracting me and it was getting late, so i went to sleep but couldn't fall asleep, there were also two pretty big cats yawning and i was watching them, thinking that it could help me fall asleep.
Next day i was looking around some room and some objects were changing location randomly, especially sconce. At first i was thinking it's just hallucinations but after a while position changes started becoming more noticeable. Shortly i realized that i am dreaming, i walk down the corridor while rubbing hands, dream becomes somewhat more stable. I walk into the room, dad is there. I walk to him and for some reason i have urge to scream at him very loudly. I walk right up to him and scream at him for a good few seconds, it is very loud, haha, and also it echoes through whole building. Satisfied, i walk down another corridor and soon dream fades out.
I wake up and look at the time, did i slept for like 20 hours or something? Then i wake up properly.

In this dream unlike in real life I had a cat, and so did my neighbor (not a real neighbor). He and I were talking across the hedge (don't have a hedge in real life), and he was telling me how when I am at work, my cat likes to hang out with him and his cat. It was not explained why he is not working and has time to hang out with cats all day, despite the fact that he was middle aged and quite healthy and well off looking.

Even though cats are a dream sign lately, I did not get lucid.

Thursday 5/2/13

last night bed 12am - 7:30am

DR: Lots of dreams in the morning. Didn't get up to write them down, just replayed with words. All I remember is that there was an Earth Invasion with some bots. (Watched the Iron man yesterday, scene where huge robots are shooting at crowds)

Nap 8am - 10:15am
So happy, because 15 min after I woke up, cleaners came to neighbors apartment to clean the carpet.

WILD+2 DEILDs

As soon as I felt it, I pushed my head back and got some intense falling sensation that ended in LD. I did this twice. One entry - as I'm laying, I think about looking at my hands, so I raise my dream hands and they are so cool. Black swirling, shiny fog. Then I decide I can get up now.

I pet one of my cats, it was MM. I could tell from the way she looked - just like in WL, and her coat felt exactly the same. I was gonna take it easy and stabilize by looking at the wall in my brothers bedroom. As I'm zooming in on details, I start floating backwards to the window, but I stop it, because want to look at the wall some more.

They were short, just 20 sec each.

there were two kittens - one orange one that looked like a cat i used to have (sammy). He got loose and I freaked out. Eventually got him back but he was a little more brown than orange. mostly dirt, but some a natural darkening of his fur as he grew

Had climbed up to the top of this really tall mountain. There was a lot of fog around the edges, so must have been really high up. Was there in a largish group of people (hiking or something I guess). The view was beautiful. The mountain was a giant world tree - the branches running off into the distance. I almost fell once. I was overcome with fear at the edge of a drop (we were really, really high up. Couldn't see anything below us - just a kind of foggy distance).

there was an earlier dream with the tag 'captivity', but its gone now.

The only thing I remember about this morning's dreams was something about recordings, mom and dad, and a town or something/a game??

Yesterday's dreams...

Dream 1:

- I was talking/arguing to dad about religion, specifically about how Paganism was infused in everything.
- Dad and someone else were going to ride on an oven pan (lol wat), but I needed it and was hoping they'd be done with it soon. I wondered how they'd fit on it, but I got an image in my head showing that they could fit a foot side by side.
- I was walking in the woods when I stumble across a group of bears huddled together. I freeze and drop down into a pile of leaves and stuff, but they've already noticed me. I remember that I should keep totally still.
- I'm cuddling up with the bears and they're talking to me, totally harmless.

Dream 2: I'm floating from sandbar to sandbar on a beach and collecting lost items from old campers. I'm a bit scared and sad as I think about what might have happened to the people who lost them. What the water's depths might be hiding. [I still remember that feeling, looking down into the deep water.]

When I reach the end, I step over and into a house with the stuff. The cats are sleeping in a cat bed or something down the hall and I get really worried about them getting outside and lost, so I make sure the door is really secure.

(I've lost some of the details since I didn't type this up sooner or try and remember them better.)

WBTB Mugwort
MILD

I got to sleep in the recliner and dream about my cats running around and jumping. Sputnik keeps jumping on top of the ledge about the front door, hanging there for a bit and then jumping down to the floor with a thud. I watch for a bit from the recliner and then I remember.

I instantly get vibrations and see a bright white light then dark. The vibrations are week and intermittent. I wait unsure if I am in the dream or not. Then I remember I was already dreaming before. I get up and go outside. I sort of half open the door and half phase through. The door was forgotten.

If feel a brief cold and then a smell like rain. I find that odd for a dream. I can see fine and the world seems solid but I feel like I need to stabilize. I think about liking the sidewalk again. This time I but my hands in some dirt and feel it. It looks more like potting soil. This is were things get ultra real.

I hear some rock music with heavy drums. I look around and the neighborhood looks convincingly real. I seriously wonder if I was sleep walking/dreaming like I used to do as a child. I become really worried and self-conscious. I look across the street toward the direction of the music. It seems like it is the house directly across from me. I try to see who is over there but my vision gets blurry. Then the dream sort of folds in on itself and my awareness shifts to my physical body. I think about DEILD but it doesn't come right away so I think I better enter into my DJ.

The first dream I remember having involved me driving down the road on a single-track road. I looked to my left and saw 2 cats, one on either side of a gateway, perched on columns, both staring at me oddly. I looked back to the road and saw a cat about 10 ft in front of my left tire. No time to steer avoid it, I just hoped that I wouldn't hit it. As it came closer, I clenched up as I felt a thud... I heard the cats on the columns (and others, I assume) meowing loudly, almost angrily, when I saw fourth cat about 300 ft ahead jump into the air and sort of divebomb toward my windshield. I was scared for what was about to happen and as the cat came closer, I realized: "Holy shit, cats don't fly.." I went lucid. Unfortunately I don't remember much of the dream from the time I went lucid. I just remember the cat disappearing out of the sky, and that really familiar feeling that comes with lucidity in a dream. Shortly after, I was no longer in my car, and I remember jumping over a building (I usually attempt to fly in my few lucid dreams, but usually end up jumping really high and landing). At some point I believe I lost lucidity, because I don't really remember much else.

In my next dream, I was meeting my father at one of his friend's houses, I believe. I don't remember why he came up (He lives about 3 and a half hours away from where I'm staying now), but he had in his possession a bag of cocaine, which he was debating on letting me have for the longest time. This is completely out of character for him, as it's an old habit that he has long since kicked, and something he doesn't want to happen to me. He ended up giving me the bag, which I figured was a little more than a quarter-ounce of coke (about 7 grams, which is a lot of $$$). I remember him getting mad at me for even accepting it, because he knew I was going to sell it, and disappointed that I even knew people that I could get it off to. I remember putting it in a secret pocket in one of my hoodies and eventually leaving (there was a lot more conversation I don't remember, but unimportant).

There was a time-lapse which I'm not sure if I should consider a separate dream, or whether it was even related to the last, but I ended up at my mom's apartment (where I currently reside). When I open the door and come in, she comes from her room to greet me, and I can almost immediately tell that something is wrong with her. She's drunk, and it's extremely unsettling because she's been almost 3 years sober now and I didn't think she was on the road to relapse. After exchanging some words with her, I see some middle-aged dude emerge from her room and I stop talking to her, since she's not saying anything important due to her intoxication. I immediately ask, "Who the fuck are you?" and he said he was her friend. After a short interrogation, I came to the conclusion that she recently met him and he pretty much brought wine over, not knowing she was a recovering alcoholic. I told him to get the fuck out my house or I'd be forced to call the cops, and he told me something like since it was her apartment, he wasn't going to leave unless she said so. The next thing I remember about the dream was the most unsettling. I'm not sure how it got there, or why, but there was a katana in place of where my guitar usually sat propped against the wall. I told hold of it, and threatened his life unless he left the place immediately. He taunted me, saying the sword was probably dull. For some reason, he picked up a pillow off the couch and I took a slash at it, cutting it cleanly into two. His face, I remember, was priceless. He was scared out of his fucking mind, and that's about all I remember before waking up.

The last two dreams I'll classify as nightmares. Both of my parents have a long history with drugs and alcohol, and it isn't coincidence that they both relapsed simultaneously. I think it's a deeper fear of mine, because I care a lot of both of them, and I know what would happen (especially with my mother) if they did. My dad I wasn't too worried about, because I'm pretty sure he can handle himself. Plus, the fact that he just gave me 7~9 grams of coke is pretty cool, because that can fetch a pretty penny nowadays. Looking at the dream involving my mom, I was really surprised that I was so protective of her, to the point of threatening another person's life. My mom told me after I woke up, that she heard me in the middle of the night. It's been awhile since I've had a nightmare this realistic, as most of the time it's something that doesn't really have a strong possibility of happening, and for that matter, doesn't seem so real. I was legitimately scared for my mother's life here, and I think that's what drove me to the point I was at when I was ready to take that guy's life in her defense.


I had trouble falling asleep that night before dreaming. I'm sick right now, which has a lot to do with it, but I used the mantra: "I will have lucid dreams tonight" repeated about 150 times before I quit counting, just trying to keep dreaming in my mind before falling asleep. I remember trying to picture something specific as well, which was originally a giant horse*** (big enough to step on buildings), which eventually morphed into a giant cat. This may have some relation to my first dream involving cats, but I can't be sure.

***I figured trying to picture something completely unrealistic and keeping it in my mind before going to sleep might trigger that thought manifesting itself in my dreams. I figured a horse the size of king-kong is something you don't see everyday, and should immediately tell me that I'm dreaming if I were to see one. The horse ended up becoming a cat as I lost focus while succumbing to sleep, and it's possible that it did have wings; like the cat that triggered my lucid. I can't recall at this point. I'm not sure if this is a common method for triggering a lucid dream, but it's something that seems to give me results and will continue to keep trying as I document my results in my DJ

Somewhere up Strange Creek - an open field with a house in the corner where the woods start, next to a creek. I have my 3 cats there and I'm with Stacy (old roommate). I'm not sure what is going on, but there are storms outside and I'm worried that the cats will knock water into the space heaters. I think I'm baby sitting someone's kids. I decide I want to go to my grandparents' house. So I pick up Wellie and start walking out into the field. Wind is blowing and it is getting dark fast, so I run back to the house, still holding Wellie. I decide to try again so off we go. I see a twister on the horizon, and that triggers me to do the hand test. I can only do one hand because I'm carrying Wellie with the other one. I turn lucid and I start to fly all the while never letting go of Wellie. The field turns into a kind of a cityscape - looks like hollywood and highland. I'm asking people for J and suddenly standing in front of me. Hugs and kisses on the cheeks. Then there is an unknown woman on my lap. J gives me another kiss on the cheek and says "it's real." Felt real.