All DJ Entries

DREAM 1 - 4:30AM

I'm at my house in the bath room. I see Joe Rogan interviewing a dark skinned fighter. The fighter flips out on Joe and starts throwing punches at him. He's not happy with the way Joe criticises his guests. Joe moves out of the way of the mans attacks. I feel disgraced in the fighters actions towards Joe, as it's not a good look at all.

When Joe was interviewing it looked dark.

DREAM 2 - 6:30AM

I'm at Daryl's old house sitting in the lounge room. I can see Brent Johnston and his girlfriend. Brent and I start insulting each other for fun and I say some pretty funny stuff. He comes closer to me and I see what looks like black birth marks over his arms and shoulders, but is actually a cover up of his tattoos. He tells me about laser removal of his tattoos. He mentions that to get a small area removed it will cost $1000 or $2000 for all, and then points over towards his friend showing me how much of his tattoo he got removed. His friends tattoo on his leg looked stretched and blurred.. It was still there. I assume the army has changed him or they wanted him to remove his tattoos.

I continue insulting Brent and bring up about his goofy looking hat. Looks like a wizard hat, but at the time I was calling it a Willy Wonka hat.

I leave the lounge room and walk into kitchen where I see his girlfriend. She's standing at the fridge and mentions about her and Brent being back together and had been broken up for some time.

I'm back in the lounge room but this time, NAKED! There's a few people with me and I'm looking out the window. I see an old friend Josh Rooker. I embrace him and happy to see him as well as he is. He's got a candle in each hand. The candle is lit up and he is trying to prod me with them as a joke. I'm avoiding them at all costs, due to them being pointed at my arse... F THAT. I look outside and notice a car pull up with a group of people.

I'm now in the bathroom and I'm washing my hands with soap. I see a scene of one of the people that was out the front in the car. He's a famous Croatian football player who had the whole countries weight on his shoulders. He was their hope on winning the World Cup. I see a team run onto the field. I walk into Janes room and feel as if I shouldn't be here.

DREAM 3 - 8:55AM

I'm at Daryl's house In the kitchen area. I'm sitting at the kitchen table and I see dogs laying on a blanket, on top of the chair. Jane tells me to put the dogs out when I get up. My brother checks for piss stains where they have been sleeping and notices a couple stains. We try and justify that it's not pee and could be something else.

I walk outside where the veranda is and see that there's a slow cooker on the table. It's cooking some kind of stew. I think I try a small amount and think about giving some to Dad to try. I forget about that and put the lid back on. I see that there's dirty water on the lid and I think about if I should just put it on anyways, but decide to clean it.

I'm out the front of Jason and Louise's house, next to my old house. I see the slow cooker in front of me but it's not a chest. I feel as if the chest has something magical or mysterious about it. The chest is from a TV series, and to find out what the chest has in it and the meaning of it, we have to watch the rest of the series.

DREAM FRAGMENTS:

1. I'm at a house and I'm with my brother and friends. We're deciding to head out for the night I think. I worry about not drinking enough distilled water. I realise I have my water distilled running and think about doing a second cycle before I go out. Water distiller jug is not made out glass. I knock it over and it makes a different sound.

2. I'm at my house in the kitchen area and I'm explaining to my cousin Trev about my arachnoid cyst and how it effects me.

SIDE NOTES:
I used holo sync binaural beats to induce theta state so I could perform my mantras that way. I also put effort into my mantras before bed. I feel this helped a lot even on the first night. My head felt clear and on point upon awakening throughout the night. Not perfect but big improvement.
Performed some SSILD but was finding it too hard to get back to sleep. Was awake for at least an hour from 5:30^

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #184: Be Still My Beating Heart

I’m walking through a parking lot into a mall, recalling an earlier dream where Dad had brawled with some pellet gun-wielding high school kid in a parking lot just like this one. As I enter the mall, I recall my intent to have a lucid dream, and one begins.

I walk past a set of red metallic benches, taking in the detail and comparing it to waking life. I marvel at how completely realistic it looks. As I continue down the walkway, I turn toward a woman walking with her two young daughters and half-shout, “Can you believe this is all a dream?” They smile politely and scurry away.

I take a brief detour through a clothing store, walk past a few more places, and then exit onto some kind of outdoor boardwalk area. There’s a tattoo parlor to my left with a wood-carved sign overhead which depicts two attractive, dark-haired, pale-skinned women with intricate sleeve tattoos. The place is called “Nutjob”. I think how cool it’d be to get tatted up in a dream and start to head inside. It looks a bit more like a boutique when I get closer and I suddenly get this irrational fear that things will turn sexy in this place and that I’d better avoid it.

I head back through a door into the mall and encounter a grinning, friendly-looking British woman in her late 20s. I remember Task of the Month and ask her, “Who is my true love?” She says some stream of hilarious nonsense about waffles, and we both start laughing. I think she is super cool. “I’m not going to be able to remember that. Can you answer again?”

She laughs even harder and then starts singing “Polly Wolly Doodle” in a British Donald Duck voice. (The kids have an Easter toy that does this, but not with a British accent.) I can’t stop laughing and I try not to think about whether you can laugh yourself awake from a lucid dream.

I start thinking about what the other tasks were and she wanders off as I do so. I remember something about your heart, and then spy Wife walking in the mall about twenty feet in front of me. Still in an incredibly good mood, I run up to her, get her attention, and after she says, “Hey!” I make out with her for a little bit. This is fun, but okay, back to tasks! I’m supposed to pull my still-beating heart from my chest and give it to a loved one.

“Here, watch this!” Wife keeps looking at the nearby stores instead of me. “You really need to watch. I’m only going to do this once.” She looks back and I reach my hand inside my body. I feel something about the size of a softball pulsing very softly. The movement is a bit too weak for a heart muscle, but whatever. I pull it from my chest and when I present it to her… my hand is empty!

“What are you trying to do?” asks Wife. I explain the task and she furrows her brow. “You really don't need to do that for me,” she says before wandering away into a nearby store.

I wander through the mall some more, baffled by how long and stable this LD is. I pass through a busy arcade area where I see a mom busily taking care of 10-12 girls shouting demands during a birthday party. There’s cake being passed around which I sort of want to try but I feel like I am at enough kid birthday parties in waking life.

As I’m heading back into the hallway, an attractive Asian woman with waist-length hair passes by. We look at one another and the guy she’s with, some generic dude in his late 40s with thinning hair, seems to jealously take notice. He kind of freaks out, storming around and I say, “You want to go to the parking lot.” He obediently leaves. But when I turn back to the woman, blood’s pouring out of her nose like he just hit her. I’m confused because I didn’t notice him do this. I worry that my confusion means the dream is ending.

I pass my hand in front of her face and she’s healed. When I glance over my shoulder, the guy is back, glaring at us. “You’re not coming back here again,” I say, and again he leaves. I say something to the woman about how this is a dream and she agrees. The dream is definitely fading now but we still manage a bit of sexytime before the dream ends.

For some reason I decide to take drugs, something like ecstasy. Then there is a bit of the dream highly disoriented, just bits of visual and my laughing. then it seems like the next day when I awaken I realize something is wrong in my mouth, so I go into the bathroom to look in the mirror. I see that a word has been carved all the way through my front teeth, the words "rock and roll" ground deep but not all the way through my bottom right front side of my teeth, the words "quantum power" carved very lightly into the inside bottom left side of my teeth, and other words on my teeth that I can't quite understand, but worst of all is the tattoo on the inside of my bottom lip it's big and long in black and white very noticeable almost shows when my mouth is shut, it says something mortifying (I don't want to tell it to anyone so I won't write it here). I flip out and ask my friend who the hell did this to my mouth?! she tells me that when I was on drugs I forced some guy to do it, so I go find the guy and yell at him for doing this to my mouth but he yells back that I forced him to do it to my mouth when I was high. I tell him that since the lip tattoo is white with black out lining that he needs to cover it up with red and black, he agrees and I tell him no words, just make it looks like a wound with blood so he does and I get only a little relief for now my teeth have holes and damage that I can't hide.

Dream 1: Someone was giving me a tattoo on my back under my left shoulder blade. I think I was reprimanded for peeking at my arm which had apparently also been tattooed. I remember black ink.

Dream 2: I was in a store, and Justin Timberlake was there for some contest thing. I couldn't care less, so I was throwing this little stuffed animal cube thing back and forth with someone who was standing in the clothes racks.

Justin looked disapprovingly at me, as if I should be feeling very pleased about possibly winning the contest. I feel like the cube may have had something to do with the contest, like it indicated the winner.

Notes: Oh how I wish I knew what the tattoo was. I don't know if I could ever get one in real life because I could never decide what to get!

[Sunday, October 28th, 2012]
(This is the last of a series of dreams, and the only one I remember vividly. There was one dream of me on a desert reality show with a multitude of challenges. Before that I was at a strange shopping mall.)
I'm at my old house, everything is identical almost. Everyone is doing their own thing in the house, Brent is on the computer and playing games, Casey is watching TV in the living room, Mom is in her room. I'm wandering around the house.

I walked out into the kitchen and turn straight into the computer room. I want on the computer pretty bad. But I forget about it and walk away.

I walk to the bathroom.
I turn on the shower, as I need one bad. All of the water droplets that hit the tub turned brown. I couldn't explain it. But it must be because the shower floor is dirty already and its just becoming clear with water? I cup water in my hands and splash it on the tub until its clean and I get in.

After I clean myself and soak for awhile, I wrap a towel around my bottom-half and walk into my Mom's room and begin talking to her.

I was on a gameshow sort of thing for a week, but I got kicked off or fired the last day on a Friday. It was supposed to keep going and they'd add new members all the time but I didn't make the cut for some reason.
It took place in the middle of the desert.
I complained to my Mom about how I had lost, but how I was excited that I was going to be on a cartoon remake of the show that would air this weekend! I wondered to myself how I would be portrayed on a cartoon.

I walked into the old bedroom-
Brent was playing Nintendo 64. "I wish I could play guitar hero though..."
I suggest to him, "Nathan has Guitar Hero for the Playstation 1! Maybe we could borrow it!)

Casey was telling me about how he wanted to play an American Idol sort of game that he used to play when he went to camp once.

Just then we looked out the window, the whole family, and we saw dark clouds in the distance, looming over the mountains. Mom had her boyfriend over, who was like a combination of Gordon, Ed, Dad and all of the rest of them. My Mom's boyfriend complained because he couldn't hear the storm, because of the all of the TV's and receivers and VCRs and DVD players humming and buzzing. I worked to turn them off, but had immense trouble for some reason. Only some of them would turn off, and some would just reset when I hit the buttons. I gave up as I couldn't turn off the last satellite receiver.

We worked to put the blinds and livingroom curtains back up. It was more complex than it should have been.

We went around the house fortifying all of the windows and doors and closing everything for sure. I went to the back bedroom, by the old computer room, and checked the window. The one on the left (that normally doesn't exist) was fine, but the one on the right above the bed was creaked open a little. I worked to close it as much as I could when I noticed it was raining... or leaking through the window or something. It was wet around the window.
I through my shirt off and tried wiping off the window and putting it up against where it leaked.

Casey walked in and said, "The whole bed's soaked!" He was right, the rain was dripping through the ceiling! It was happening everywhere. Water was leaking through everywhere. I grabbed a towel and set it over the bed to cover the blanket and anything else. I went to the closet just as my Dad walked in. I quickly made sure I was turned away so he didn't see my tattoo.

I thought to myself, "Had he seen my tattoo earlier?" I quickly put on a purple shirt I found in the laundry hamper. I grabbed more towels and layed them over the bed. I walked out into the living room and saw that the wall was covered in rain drops, continuously being dropped. The rain was getting in somehow, as if our house was made of paper.

<dream ends>

~I was sitting in a floral-patterned armchair in my grandma's attic, which she had apparently just remodeled. It looked like a living room and a kitchen had a baby--there was a counter and cabinetry all along one wall and wrapping around a corner, but there was a couch, the chair I was seated in, and a coffee table also there. I was holding a red box of cereal, looking at a comic book that came with it. Two cats started climbing on me and I suddenly received a text on the back of the ceral box. Somehow I replyed to it (there weren't keys or anything on the box), but then realized that the texts cost money. I set the box down, moved the cats, and left the attic.

~My friend Hannah was preparing to get a tattoo. I think it was Mickey Mouse with his little wizard hat on. Apparently the proceedure for getting a tattoo in this dream was a bit different than IRL. She layed a picture of what she wanted on her arm, then took out a small knife. She started cutting little holes in her skin all around the picture. I was FREAKING OUT, but she assured me that everything was perfectly fine. There was no blood at all when she finished cutting the holes. It almost looked like she had stitched the picture down, but I kind of think that's what the holes were for--pre-cut spots for the needle to go when she did stich on her tattoo. *shudder* Oh, that made me squirm.

~A few kids from school and myself were babysitting a bunch of little kids. We played hide and seek with them, and then let them take naps. They were all dressed like Pillow Pets.

Very sketchy dream and cant help feeling there's much I've forgotten but here goes:

I remember being in Exeter in the back of the neighbours of my grandparents where I used to stay as a kid. I remember the garden was set up for a wedding party with food all around. I found myself walking through the bouncy castle to get into the main part of the garden. I then looked down at my wrist to see that the tattoo of Garfield (just had a tattoo but of a Basque cross done there) had somehow run and bled onto the napkin I held and began worrying whether I should try and get rid of the whole thing or get it touched up to how it was originally.

I then found myself on the round that runs at the front of these houses walking down the hill. It was at this point I woke up.

First

A man who makes tattoos for a living is telling me a story about a woman who took a large tattoo and then decided to have it removed later. The man removed it himself and it was a very dramatic thing for him. It took at four long sessions and apparently was more painful to the customer than making it was.

Second

I have a punch of laser pointer pens. The lasers have different colors and they have some elemental properties connected to the colors. They all seem to cause some kind of painful sensations. I test them with a couple of other people.

Third

I'm in a city center, inside a building complex, a shopping center of such. I look around and decide to have a coffee. I notice I don't have any money with me, so I don't. I look around and start heading home.

Fourth

I'm in a group of tourists in a bus. We arrive at a city, very much like the one in the previous piece. I check that I have money with me this time. We're looking for a particular building, but I'm actually more interested in the layout of the city than in sightseeing.

Another imaginative dream last night, with pretty decent recall - I'm definitely improving again. I also had a very strange experience when I first fell asleep, which I could use some help with: http://www.dreamviews.com/f11/help-i...4/#post1848951.

---

28/3/12

I'm at a carnival with the family, carrying a small paper bag with a car inside (not a toy, mind, but a fully functional car). The main attraction is a huge pair of bungee cords, which two guys are swinging from. My perspective then switches to that of one of the people on the ride and I come very close to swinging all the way over the top bar, as well as colliding with things. However, no one in the crowd seemed concerned in the slightest for my safety.

Back on the ground, I watch a couple of kids ride up a larger triangular ramp on a BMX. When my parents approach me, they tell me I should have told them before going up the ramp, as if it was me that did it [and as if I was still a child]. Upset about not being allowed any fun, I follow them back to the car, trailing behind. I pull a scooter from a small bag, but unfortunately can't ride it on the dirt path. My sister offers a BMX from her bag, but I tell her there's no point as we're almost there.

Just before arriving at the car, the miniature car somehow gets away and I chase it as it speeds towards the road. I steer it away from an oncoming car with my mind, and manage to jump on before it hits another. Driving it is difficult, but extremely fun, raising my spirits again. I return it to our car and fall asleep next to it in the boot.

I should also mention that at one point in my dream I looked at my tattoo in the mirror, which had grown to cover half my left arm.

Partly from the downtime of DV, and partly from my own neglect, my dream journal has been largely untouched recently. Now that I'm back from uni for a while, and away from its many dream-inhibiting substances, I think I'll try and get this up and running again.

My lack of dream journalling has noticeably affected my dream recall, unfortunately, so I feel as if I'm back to the start, but here goes: a retrospective view of some of the more interesting dream fragments.

---

5/3/12

My friend gets stung by a wasp, so I take out a lawsuit against the wasp.

---

7/3/12

I'm in a cruise ship hotel with my sister and cousin, and we steal my own dog (god knows who from). We escape to the top floor, which happens to be a posh restaurant, in which I'm pretty sure we're not allowed. My mum assures me it's fine, as my sister and cousin leave. She later plays some liquid drum & bass on some fat speakers, 'Memoirs' by Rameses B.

---

14/3/12

I'm on a bed in a public place with my ex-girlfriend from about 3 years ago. I haven't seen her in a while and she tells me about implants she got recently, all 3 of them. She tells me to feel them, then to help her lose her virginity [despite previously being my girlfriend]. Though I nobly oblige, she leaves before we can do the deed, much to the disappointment of my entourage, who had recently formed in the room.

---

17/3/12

I'm back from uni and my mum tells me she's seen my tattoo [though in real life, she still hasn't] and thinks it's disgusting [in the dream, it does actually look pretty vile]. However, she says she's over it because she's already cried about it and gotten it out of her system. [I really hope this isn't a true representation of how it actually goes down!]

10/2/12
I am in a tattoo shop, about to get my second tattoo [which I plan on getting soon IRL]: the words 'Start Something', potentially on my chest. [This is a nice motto I have about being proactive and doing something productive instead of just thinking about it, as well as the name of the first album I ever bought, which I listened to everyday for 2 years walking to and from school during a not-so-good time of my life]

---
I'm at the edge of a lecture theatre, watching a hot DC lecturer give a talk while lying down. Later, at home, I find some sort of oral hygiene kit behind a sofa, which unfortunately has a dog excrement on. This then means we have to either give up or put down the dog, who is sometimes an old man.
I am then in the perspective of Modern Family's Phil as he explains how he burned all his not-so-masculine clothes [his femininity/childishness being a recurring theme in the show] in order to impress his father-in-law. Like previous dreams, telling the story transports me into it, and the clothes become mine. I manage to salvage some of my favourite clothes but the rest are incinerated.

I don't remember a lot of what happened. I remember it was the elections and me and a couple of other people had been talking about them for a long time. Finally we were going into a minivan to ride somewhere that had to do with the election and then tre points in the door sees a giants roach. We all scattered. It flies out, and is on my shoulder. I'm am on all fours for an adrenaline soaked 2 minutes screaming and bucking trying to get it off. Finally one of my friends swipes it off with some leaves...

also I remember having another tattoo on my inside left bicep. It was 2 feathers

No recall on the night of the 16th as I was off-my-tits high, but I managed to remember bits a pieces last night - mostly of me hiding my tattoo from my parents again...
---
17/1/12
One dream did stand out, however, as it was pretty intense:

I'm walking down the street at night with two friends [who I don't think I know in real life] and one is reading a book. A girl with her boyfriend behind us makes a snooty comment about his 'cheap clothes' and how she didn't think poor people could read. At this, we band together like brothers and decide to lay into her with a dazzling display of insults.

We continue walking through an alley to some sort of changing room [probably a rugby changing room, like so many of my other dreams, for some reason] where I get lamped in the back of the head by this girl's boyfriend and fall to the floor dazed. I don't take to this cowardly form of combat and so get up to confront him, but he turns himself invisible!

I decide this coward needs a lesson as I see a crowd of people being pushed apart by an invisible force, and chase my attacker to a nearby toilet cubicle. He pleads as his invisibility wears off, but I'm too fired up and I crack him in the jaw. He then somehow appears with his head in the toilet bowl (not through my doing) and I pull him out by his legs to save him from drowning.


I leave the scene to gasps and disgusted whispers, as if I was the one in the wrong. To be fair to the guy, he did need an ambulance.


Just to point out, I'm not a very violent person, and though I wouldn't react well to being hit from behind, I definitely wouldn't retaliate as viscously as in my dream.

I started my bed-side dream journal about a week ago, so, this being my first entry, I'll just lump them all together seeing as they're not long or very detailed.
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4/1/12
1. I was looking at a random selection of friends' photos on my Facebook with my sister (who knows none of them), including a friend from the flat below me in my uni accommodation who got his bicep tattoo at the same time I got my first on my back. I'm pretty sure I was comparing the two to my sister (who is the only person in my family that knows about mine, may it long stay that way).

2. All I remember was that I was in a larger-scale version of the pool in which I used to work as a lifeguard, and was later fired from.

3. I was playing my first match back for my old rugby team, Teddington, and my first tackle was a fairly weak one - which is unusual for me, as flooring people is my favourite part of the game. The best kicker on the team later attempted to punt the ball down the pitch, but missed it completely - not sure of the relevance to be honest.

Later, however, was the stranger part. I was in the changing room, getting my wallet and phone from my bag in order to give it to my dad for safe keeping, as he often comes to watch matches. However I bumped into my friend's parents on the way, as well as his older sister, who was naked apart from a towel around her chest. When I proceeded to give my phone to my dad (I'd left the wallet for some reason), I attempted to put my contact lenses in, only to find I was putting them in over an existing pair, to great discomfort.
---
5/1/12
In an adult house party somewhere greatly resembling the house I spent Christmas in, I was trying to pry a dog's rope toy from a cat. However, the cat made high-pitched barking sounds and despite putting all my effort into it, I could not get the rope out of its grip.

I was later shirtless in the kitchen, where I had to tell my mum to look at something (that I made up) in the other direction, so that I could slip past without her seeing my tattoo.
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6/1/12
I was in an abandoned changing room (may also have been a bath house, given the steam) with my aunt and two younger cousins. I was playing various games with them, the most vivid being simply sliding around on the tile floor in socks.
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7/1/12
The Red Hot Chili Peppers were onstage without a singer, so me and my friend from my music course stepped from backstage to cover. We both forgot most of the words initially (in the same way as a drunken karaoke night), but I eventually got very enthusiastic and began singing in more of a hardcore punk manner, jumping and flipping on stage like Frank Carter (Gallows) or a similar frontman. I spotted my family in the crowd, who found it silly, despite the crowd's enthusiastic reception.
---
8/1/12
Sadly, nothing.
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9/1/12
My first other-worldly dream, in what I assume was an Elder Scrolls environment. Somehow I was looking at a town in two perspectives: both before and after it had been partially destroyed and rebuilt. I.e. I could see two versions of the town at the same time. It vaguely resembled Skyrim's Solitude, in that it was long-shaped and up-hill, maybe ending at a cliff at the far end (though I didn't venture that far).

Near the base of the hill was Umbacano Manor (though nothing like that of Cyrodill), with a large courtyard. I talked to various bodyguards (in the fashion I normally do in-game before talking to the most important person last), and then got to Umbacano himself. He offered to upgrade my spells and teach me new ones, before I realised I couldn't learn them (I don't tend to play magic characters) and so ended my dream.

---
10/1/12
Nothing again, unfortunately.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

It was daytime. I was out on a street somewhere, probably in Brooklyn. There were a lot of people out on the street. I was apparently really focused in on something I was doing. But some person, maybe an older, kind of fat, white man, was talking to me.

The man told me that there had been some huge thing having to do with guns just down the road. There may have been a small gunfight. But the really big deal about it was that there were a whole lot of people all gathered together, and they all either had or were making a lot of guns.

The street the man was talking about was just down the block and around the left corner. It suddenly occurred to me that I needed to go down that block. The person who had been talking to me told me not to go down that block. But I didn't have a choice. I needed to go.

I was now walking down the block. It was as bright and sunny there as on a summer day. To my left was some kind of tall, chain-link fence, like might be around a school. Beyond that, farther down the sidewalk, were some brownstone row-houses and some narrow, shortish apartment buildings.

But to my right, the street, just down the way from me, was filled with cars. The cars looked like 1970s cars, more like Cadillac style than hot-rod style. They were all parked at odd angles, right in the middle of the street.

There were people sitting and standing among the cars, as well as on the stoops of brownstones on the right side of the street. I think the people were mostly white, kind of overweight, with hair in a kind of buzz cut. They may have worn black t-shirts.

I could see that all these people were either making guns or cleaning up their guns. I knew that whatever they were doing, it was horribly illegal, and that I was probably walking through the middle of a really bad situation.

I just tried to act like I didn't see anything. A few guys on my side of the street were helping out the gun guys somehow. They seemed to be suspicious of me, wondering why I was walking around here. But my nonchalant attitude made them less worried about me.

I had realized -- at some point -- that I was here because I used to live here. I'd moved to a different place a long time ago. But for some reason, some of my mail was still being delivered here. I had to come back here and pick up some of my mis-delivered mail.

I walked up to one of the narrow, short apartment buildings. The door of the building was glass with bars behind it that looked like chrome bars, which just glared in the summer-bright light. This was where I used to live.

There was a circus-peanut orange colored card in the door, somehow, as if the card were sticking out of the bars -- even though the bars were *behind* the glass of the door!

I pulled the card out and looked at it. It was some kind of postal service request card, stating that all mail should be delivered to my new address. The address was the exact address of where I live nowadays IWL, except, perhaps, without the apartment number.

I still needed to get my old mail. So I walked into the apartment. Inside, the place looked like the interior of a nice brownstone row-house. There was a nice first floor hallway area, which, it seemed to me, led to a spacious living area, probably where my old landlady would have lived.

There was a staircase along the right wall. I walked up the staircase. The staircase ended with a doorway that opened into a hallway. Along the right wall of the hallway were rooms. People would rent the rooms and then share the bathroom and kitchen on this floor.

My old room had been the room closest to the doorway at the top of the staircase. The door to the room was wide open. The room was empty. It was like nobody had moved in there since I'd left. I think I was now questioning whether I hadn't left this place only very recently, and not a long time ago, like I'd thought before.

I went into the room. There was a bed that took up most of the room. On the left side there was a weird niche in the wall, like a closet. But the shelf in the closet was low: waist-high, so that it almost looked like it could be used as a writing desk.

The place was all dusty. Some of the dust in the corners and on the surfaces of things was so old and caked up that it was starting to get gummy.

Something about the fact that this place felt so abandoned, so quiet and empty, made me feel like I should move back here. I was starting to feel like I couldn't live in my new place anymore, anyway. So maybe I would see about moving back here.

I walked back down to the front door of the apartment. But as I was leaving, my old landlady was walking up to the front door. I had been hoping that I could get into and out of the house without her ever knowing I was here. I'd felt like if she saw me, she'd harrass me about something.

I opened the door for my landlady. I greeted her. I walked outside. But instead of going out into the neighborhood I'd just been in, I walked into a big front patio of a house, which had been converted into a sun-room. It had grass-green, plasticky-feeling carpeting. Beyond the sun-room, the neighborhood also looked much nicer.

My old landlady looked about the same, except that she was a bit heavier nowadays. She wore a white, long-sleeved shirt. She told me that I still owed her my last week's rent. She'd thought that maybe that was why I was here.

I told my old landlady that I didn't owe her the money. I'd paid her everything when I'd left. I saw an image of my hands with a handful of bills. I was visually counting out everything I'd paid my old landlady before I'd left. I was even starting to think that I'd paid my landlady too much, and that she owed me some money.

But I knew it would be tough enough just to convince my landlady that I didn't owe her any money. I was trying to get my thoughts clear enough so that I could make the right argument. I didn't know if I could do it. It kept feeling like I was losing my train of thought.

As I was trying to pull my arguments together, my old landlady walked back toward the front door of this sun-room patio. My old landlady was talking to me about something, like she was still annoyed with me, but was trying to be friendly.

My old landlady spread out her arms, like she was taking in the sun. I noticed that the sides of my landlady's white, long sleeves had black designs on them.

The designs were very much like the flame-like emblems of the "tribal" genre of tattoos. But they also had a kind of "vintage," Ed Hardy kind of look. For some reason, seeing these tattoo-like designs on my old landlady's shirt made me wonder if my old landlady actually had tattoos.