memorable

This one's been in my mind the last few weeks, so I thought it might be therapeutic to post it. Everyone has a worst fear, and mine is being raped.
Thank God it's never happened to me, but this dream left me temporarily convinced that it had... so it was kind of upsetting, to say the least.

Can't remember how this dream began - maybe it's better that way. The dream had its own back story: In it, I knew it was Wednesday (it really was IWL), and that meant it had been exactly one week since I was raped (again, in the dream!). I always seem to have a desire to go all vigilante on frightening DCs, so not surprisingly I decided to go seek revenge on my attacker. Obviously not alone, so I brought my friend Michelle with me. Somehow I had figured out that a particular area of the tile floor in a vacant building (almost like a very shallow pool, only 1-2 ft deep) covered a passageway to an underground area, and that was where we'd find him. We opened up the tile panel and descended. The next thing I remember is us frantically trying to get back out, pursued by my attacker. I was pulling Michelle out of the passage, and I saw a knife pierce her sneaker, but we got away.

I figured she was only cut if anything, but suddenly it's a couple days later, at night, and after I walk up to Michelle's front door and am let in by her family, I realize she died (from the cut, somehow). I instantly offer condolences to her family, and I'm in shock.

So then I go back down the secret passage to pursue this twisted man, alone. Despite being underground, there are windows up high, with daylight coming in. The underground portion consists of halls connecting large rooms, with nothing really in them. Everything is made of plain gray concrete. I somehow figure out this used to be a school. I think I even see a desk somewhere. I find at least one old piece of paper with writing, and I realize that this is proof of something else I had been trying to prove about the school, some sort of mystery surrounding it (didn't have a damn thing to do with revenge on my rapist, but some sort of secondary mission, maybe left over from a prior dream that night). I don't find the villain, but instead focus on this mystery solving. Then my mom comes around a corner, just as I'm pissing myself (not from fear, I just decided to pee in my clothes LOL), so I try to shoo her away and babble something about what I'm trying to do.

This is the weirdest part: As I began to slowly drift into wakefulness, I was having "dream flashbacks" to the rape itself. It was so strange, like my dreaming mind was creating a memory of something that didn't actually happen. Thankfully they weren't terribly vivid, but it was highly disturbing. Consequently, as I became more awake, I was trying to figure out if it was real. It got to the point where I was sitting up in bed thinking, "Was I really raped last week? Is this a repressed memory?" I was genuinely uncertain for a couple minutes. Once I was fully awake, I was never so happy to realize I had just been dreaming!

It's really hard to record dreams in the morning on days I have school, so this is just what I can remember.

I'm in a big church for mass, and afterwards, I'm trying to find my way out before the next mass starts. I make my way into the small narthex, then down a flight of stairs into a sitting room, which also looks like a makeshift chapel. The procession is making its way through the sitting room toward the stairs. To the right is a great wooden door with stained glass windows. I ask a man near the door if I may exit this way. "Well, the customer is always right!" He says. I then leave and run down the paved parkinglot to the car. Someone is driving me, and while I'm on the highway I realize I have forgotten something in the sanctuary. I tell the driver to turn us around and head back to the church. Then I get a text from Kelsey asking me where I am. Apparently, I was supposed to go to mass with her and her family at the 9:30, but I already attended the 7:45.
There is a cut-scene where Kelsey and her family arrive in a white car, and Kelsey exits the car wearing a fluffy white dress. Her parents, normally dressed, follow her into the church.
I sneak back into the sanctuary through a door next to the altar. I spot Kelsey and her family in the pew where my stuff is. I try to sneak in without them noticing. I don't remember exactly how it happens, but Kelsey notices me and begins chasing me all throughout the building, yelling at me for ditching her mass. Near the end of the dream, I realize we were supposed to get married. Oops.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

My buddy Mike and I enter a bar that I recognize as “Mac’s Two Lounge” in Billerica, MA, a seedy 18-plus strip club. The place looks nothing on the inside like it does in real life. In the dream, it is a narrow, short room, with a small stage (about the size of a restaurant booth table) connected to the wall by a door and has a pole in the middle. The “stage” is surrounded by a red faux leather booth, in which is seated all manner of seedy and unsavory individuals; ash trays are strewn about the booth and there is no dancer on stage.

At the other end of the room is a small bar with four stools in front of it bolted to the floor. A few patrons occupy these stools. The room is filled with cigarette smoke and I remember thinking that it was strange that smoking would be allowed in such an establishment, as Massachusetts has banned smoking in bars and restaurants. I am also concerned that my wife will smell the smoke on my clothes and know that I was at a strip club.

There is nowhere for my friend and I to sit, so we just stand around waiting for something to open up. I tell Mike that this is a weak scene and that we should leave because there are no girls dancing and there is nowhere to sit. As I say the last part, two people who were sitting in the booth at the other end of the room disappear (which triggers no lucidity in me whatsoever) and Mike and I take their seats immediately.

The only thing I remember next is waking up and performing my RC.

something to do with tits

Super long super vivid. Was working at nbc. Got promoted to some hi position. I had to rebuttle for it against two old guys. They were old. I won. I was super exited I put it on facebook and everyone congradulated me. I went out to a club. My brother was there trying to sell his ipod. He was on hold for me min and fell asleep. I was given some weird egg. I opened it and found it to be gak. Some weird voodoo lady turned it into some weird egg with powers it transformed my friend into somethig else. I left the club and came back and was transformed myself. I tried to stop it but the witch was hurting me. I let her cast some weird sspell. After all this I had 4 hours to buy a suit. I found some random choices in my closet. an old dkny suit. I showed it to some people who worked at nbc and they laughed. You could really dress around at nbc. Some person wore a bald cap and looked like tom cruise. I had to go buy a suit. I went to a store and they said it would cost 500$ . I met my old manager and went to brag about my job. I was staying at a random hotel.

LUCID. Was at a weird building with leo. He took adderal and so did I. We were laughing and hitting eachother with giant fruits. He told me my night sweats were rancid. Things we're going well. I realized I was dreaming and told leo that he was too. We both became very calm. Suddenly we were atop a giant temple. It went super far down. I turned the fall into water and the temple was surrounded by water. We jumped in. swimming was fun and leo said the water looked dirty. I laughed and turned the water bright blue. He was amazed and said it's amazing how even if the water looks dirty there's so much life in it. There we're tons of fish in the water. We went downstairs in the temple into some random room. He said why aren't you doing much. I wanted to get the feeling of the lucid dream. I want to feel what its like. I seriously looked aroundd the room. It was super vivid and bright. The room was wooden. How sid this differ from normal reality. It looked a little different. Almost like a differentl feel and pattern of the air. Instead of dots in the air when I look at the air it looked woven. The air in a lucid is different. Ok time to impress leo with a blue ball of energy. I told him to watch. I started focusing for energy in my hands... nothing came out. I tried over and over and got nothing. I was dissapointed. I heard footsteps downstairs. I went to go look but was afraid too much action might wake me up. Self fulfilling profecey lol there was nothing downstairs and I did wake up. I remember telling leo in the lucid if we wake up dont move. I diddnt move and nothing much happened... a false awakening.

I was downstairs at the temple on the floor. I woke up and immediately started to write down the dream. There was a lady at a desk telling us that she wanted to read then and I said sure. I kept writing. I woke for real.

Lucid. Was family guy and instantly knew it was a dream. I first had to make everything less cartoony. I did that and then went outside. I was trying to ditch the other family guy people becAuse they were destabalizing the dream. I finally did and was at some sunny dock. There was a party going on. I kept trying to do thing like blow cars up but I had no control. I did a reality check because I thought maybe I needed to prove to myself it was a dream. I did a rc but I woke up. I didn't move and visualized the cars. I was back. I kept trying and failed. I met some weird guy. He started showing me his to blow cars up. I tried again and boom. One car blew. I got trigger happy and with each swing of my arm piles of cars would fly into the sky. I was having so much fun. I woke again. Didn't move and was back in the dream. I kept fucking shit up. I used my hand to make a laser shoot out of my arm. The beam was getting huge. I woke up. I decided to wait to tell kara. I wrote it all down and dreamt some more. That was all a false awakeneing lol.


Mom had a new son. It was adam but much younger. I was watching him in some building and he kept getting into trouble. He was super cute. Not annoying like most babys. I rememeber thinking leo was coming and now we we're going to have to be quiet. Adam and me we're in a buss going home when he instantly got out I followed and he had to poop. I said do it in your diaper and mom will clean it. I felt a lot of love for him. I failed the old adam but this ones I could shape. I could mold.

Kara suddenly was on the bus. I made friends with two girls sitting next to her. I really am better at making friends with girls. We were joking around waiting for dina to get on the bus we had a present for her.

Somehow didn't have a car. Vadim gave me his old one which was a tiny car. It was a toy car and was contrled by a controller. I was driving around the neighborhood it was fun.

Had another dream where I was in a game place there was a sample of a game there and I tried it. The game was a sword and you stand Ij place and swing it and so does the character. I was talking to the guy who worked there about the tv and he said I was lucky


Lucid was at my house and realized I was lucid. Was doing some stuff around the house messing around and look outside I wanted it to be dark and it wouldn't be. I tried again and failed so o just went outside. It was super bright and vivid. I was jumping super high in the air trying to land on roofs. I was scared this might wake me up and for a second everything went white. I consentrated on what I was seeing and everything came back twice as vivid. Im getting better. I became super present and stopped thinking. I wandered into some sacred temple. It was really massive and there were a ton of hot naked women enticing me. I knew if I gave them any attention I would wake up. It was a trick. I found a giant waterslide and slid down it. A group of three normal people started talking to me and I kinda ignored them and continued my journy. They went to the bathroom and told me to wait. I ditched them. I was trying to find a way out of the temple but couldn't. A voice was telling me there was more to see here and I needed something inside the temple. I ignored it and found a window to jumpout of. The man in front of the temple said I was never allowed there again and I woke up. Had a fa where I was in the desert near the temple. Kara was there and I was telling her about my dream as I was writing it down. I was annoyed because I couldnt read my handwriing and a little girl was drawing in mt journal.

Most epic dream ever. Dreamt was with leo in my house. Some guy kept leaving notes and hints at killing us. For example when I was sleeping I woke up and went downstairs naked to take pug to pee he had a note saying that I should wear boxers and had a pair for me to wear. He was somewhere in the house and leo and I were looking. Dreamt that I had super powers in the dream I could walk through walls. Was kind of disappointed because I wanted more. A wise man told me that I was the most powerful and later I discovered I could do anything my mind wanted to. I was flying around doing all sorts of cool powers and destroyed stuff. I was nordic and had a prophecy that ten years later I would meet I future version of me that would show my destiny. I met myself and prepared for this weird guy to find leo and I. We went through various missions to try and find him. At one point before I bad powers I jumped through a window and fell and died as I was dead everything became shroomy and wavey. Then I woke up in bed with leo and started telling him about how the guy left boxers and that it was almost time. One random cool part was Leo and I found clues about who he was when we climbed a bookshelf and found 10 keys laying in order on every bookshelf in the library.

Incredible lucid. Went home with kara we were going to bed but I could see hypnogogic imagry so I wilded instantly. I was out of body but kara could sense me. I walked around looking around and seeing things inside. Baron could see me too. I made flowers die on walls and created a tiny spark of energy. Kara was jealous and a little annoyed that I kept following her to show her cool stuff. It was really long but mostly me trying out little things and trying to talk to kara and teach her how. I tried to make a portal to the moon and failed. Nothing would come up. My powers in this dream were a bit weak.

Was in my bedroom with kara trying to sleep. She was annoying me and I hit her with a stick. She got angry but eventually we were able to sleep. I saw hipnogogic imagery of a door and went into a dream. I did a rc and was lucid. I went outside the room and was at my house. I went out the balcony. Lucy went outside with me. There were three wolves that came out of the woods. I made lucy go back inside the house. One wolf came up and I opened its mouth and threw him away. I looked at my hands and saw this weird rainbow mist or smoke coming out of my hands. I used this to make a giant fire pillar shoot out of my hands. I felt so much power in me. I shot this giant fire pillar everywhere and everything was on fire. I had to escape so I drew and chanted a small portal. I walked through the portal and was in a misty weird place. It was purple. I used my mind to create stairs and went up then to a waterfalll slide. I went down the slide. It was smooth and fun to ride. The water was warm. The place looked like dalaran. Eventually I went inside a cave . It was beautiful and crystalline. Crystals everywhere and weird statues in this cave. I was still sliding slowly until the water stopped. I used my hands to make the water gust me further

Was at someplace with the family. We all got high. I left with michael my uncle to his place. He started breaking apart this massive crystal and I kept asking if I could have one. He said no. I wanted to go home to sleep but he said I was too high to drive. There was a massive party at his place. I was dating sharona for some weird reason. I kept flirting with Tori. Sharona was putting on too much makeup and Tori and I were playing footsie under the table. Eventually I started dating Tori but Sharon's did not care. Tori kept saying I was better than her other boyfriends and that she loved me. We were grinding and making out on a chair at the party when I realized something was wrong. I remembered Kara and was really sad because I loved her and did not know what happened. I had to figure out a way to get rid of Tori and find Kara.

Was at a massive Halloween party like freak night but way bigger. I was a ferry. There were random things going on. I went to a fight arena and pretended to be the game master thy called the rules. Someone questioned me and I lied and said I was. After the fight it got scary and I was the only one there. I walked around and thought I was being followed. There was music and people in the distance. I started running and almost made it before I giant demon came and grabbed me.

Was hanging on the beach with leo in birmingham. We were playing in the water with my inner tube. We went to go find a better beach but found that it sucked after taking a while to get there. We got lost on our wag back in some scary building. We finally made it back. The clover veils monster came out of nowhere and started killing people. He shot a rocket thing and killed alot of people. I started running. It was pitch black and everyone was running wild. I lost leo. A big explosion killed me. I came back into the dream and knew it was a dream. I created a rocket launcher and decided to kill it. The monster created little monsters that had guns. I we.t around for a while killing jets and the monsters. After a lit of them were dead i went into town and gave a speech that everything would be ok. Two monsters got into the city and i killed them. I went out of the city to kill more and realized that the dream would last as long as I wanted. I switched to a laser gun that i made. I started looking for the real big monster and I started thinking about the dream ending and i blacked out. Woke up trying to deild but tod was laughing at me saying i couldn't do it. It was a fa but i failed to realize it.

Was at the beach. Before that i took shrooms that made me a giant. Some girl was really mad at me the whole time but i did not care. I had feelings for her though.

Dreamt that i was talking to leo on skype he was waitig for me to get on. He said he was going to smoke with some maslys. There were a lot of them smoking with him at some giant house. I went over there to try and put the webcam in the right room. We went over there to party. I was at the table with michael and leo saying why anyone was not attempting. I got up and attempted. She said i was hot but she was not a who're. I said i was not like that. We started joking around and she said i spanked her i diddnt and she said she was joking. I then spanked her and she ran off getting pissed. I then went into another room were there were three maslys doing stuff on video for money. I did not pay because i said i was not some ugly guy. They agreed and we all kinda played. One had a boyfriend but got up and asked me to hang with her later. Jeff that room and say stephanie and was laughing at her and dancing. I started to worry that i would not get enough sleep for work but decided not to care. People were watching the sex videos and i picked kara up and away so she wouldn't see
I asked where leo was and he said upstairs. I was looking for him while he was telling me a maid was cleaning the whole house.

Went lucid when i was at some maria job. Walked around the office practiced keeping the dream longer. Kept waking up and walking around the office and looking around. I made a portal into nagrand. The sky was bright blue there were giraffes, hippies, alligators. The place was filled with people. It looked a little like atlantise. The water was a brilliant mix of yellow, green, blue, purple. there were giant mountains in the backgrounds. Brilliant waterfalls all around me. I was really high up looking around from below. I jumped down into water. False awakenig. Kara was talking. Told her to shut up but it was a fa and i opened in a large city. Walked around the city. The britlght lights would wake me up. I turned them down and made the moon go farther away. Kept stabalizing the dream by looking at my hand and feeling texture. Another fa. Rced into a mix of nagrand and the city. Kara was there trying to fuck me. I declined because i wanted to keep longer. She was able to convince me for head. One suck an i woke. Figured put how to spot a false awakening. If the sounds don't change or you are still in that shifted perfecption or there are no sounds of the fan your still dreaming.


Was at the beach with michael more like a pool in some tropical place. We were swimming and playing in water. I saw someone going fir ransom o someones kid. I was doing flipps in the water and having fun with a plastic gun. An old woman came to me and asked how me a question. I felt her boobs because she made me. She tried to kiss me.

Dream - Lucid - AP

I was outside my ex/old friend Nick's house. I had to go there to get something, but I knew he would try to get with me while I was there. I knew he wanted to date me, but I didn't want to date him. I went in there, and of course, he was there. I went into his bedroom, and we started to talk about some older lady that went to elementary, middle, and high school with us, and now she was a literal star (not a famous star, but a literal white-blue star shape that floated around).

Then, his house went on lock-down. He put it on lockdown so I couldn't leave. I ran to the door as it went on lockdown. I caught it before it shut, but something made it shut regardless. I remember being like "...Really? He's going to do this?". I wasn't upset, I was more or less just calmly going with the flow of things, though it was reluctantly (this was my attitude throughout the whole dream). I saw Nick's mom through a sheet of bullet-proof plastic, and she was asking me why the house went on lockdown. I shrugged my shoulders, and she made a motion like she was going to try to break through the plastic. Nick chased me a little bit around his bed. I was then trying to find my sandals

Then, I left the room. I was going to leave the house, but I forgot I still needed my sandals. I had left them in his room. I turned back around to go back to his room to get them, and he had a naked girl with dark red hair on the bed. He was taking his clothes off too. I was disgusted, but not because I was jealous, but because I knew he was doing it to make me jealous. I walked in there anyway. I asked him where my shoes were while avoiding eye contact with him. The girl got up and went somewhere. Nick asked
"Do you know who that girl was?"
"Yes. Sabrina.", I replied.
Nick was now naked. He didn't look bad, but it was awkward. I found one of my black sandals, but I couldn't find the other one. There were other shoes on the floor too.

I then, for some reason, started to take off my clothes. I took off my shirt and bra. I was topless, stretching. He didn't say or do anything, but I knew he was looking at me. At some point, my shirt was back on.

Then, I was about to leave, when a bunch of his little siblings (he only has one younger sibling in waking life) and their friends, who were all about 7 or 8 years old, wanted me to stay and watch them play this food game. I decided to stay. Nick asked me
"Are you really gonna stay for this?", to which I didn't reply. I sat on the couch and all of them sat at a huge dining room table. There were some parents there too. They all had lots of food on their plates. It was a turn-based game, I'm not sure what the point was, but only the first 2 kids took their turns and then the game was over. It lasted a total of about 5-10 minutes.

Then, Nick's mom asked me if I wanted to take some Kool-Aid home that was leftover from the game. I told her I would, and she started to get it ready for me in a pitcher. She and I were standing at the kitchen sink. The Kool-Aid was purple. She had to leave to go get something real quick, so I started to fill the pitcher up myself. I turned on the water, and the sink wasn't draining any of the water. I started to panic a little, but I finally figured out how to drain it. It had something to do with turning something on the faucet. She came back, and started talking to me about how she was Church of Christ, but she wasn't like other people who were Church of Christ. I wish I could remember exactly what she told me, but it escapes me.