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[COLOR="red"]Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="blue"]Dream[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]Thoughts[/COLOR]
[COLOR="lightblue"]Hypnagogic
[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]I went to bed later than usual, I don't know if it was because of that, but either way I only remembered a small fragment from one dream when I woke up in the morning. I did remember some other dreams but I didn't noted them so I forgot them too.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]I was in a place in Sweden called Småland, and I was laying in another bed I got a little nervous because this was so vivid that I almost thought I had been kidnapped or something, but then I recognised where I was.
Then I don't remember anything more.[/COLOR]

I used to keep a dream journal while I teen (I was more interested at that time about dream interpretation), but now as I want to learn to attain lucidity, I've decided to keep another journal to see how I progress.

I guess the first dreams will be regular dreams. Hope eventually they will turn to LDs.

So here is part of my last dream early in the morning. Couldn't recall everything, usually I seem to be able to recall the last part. Must work on this.

Oct. 3, 2011

I was in a room with P. (my ex-boss and also a friend) next to me on one side (sitting at a desk) and another person at the other side. We were sitting and discussing something.

Next I remember I was walking with some other people in line and there was a road down and one up. Most went up but I chose to go the down road. A guy (somehow he was familiar and I kind of liked him, I think he's an actor in RL - it was probl. why I went downwards) came with me.

At some point we got next to a door. I then realized that I would die once I got to the other side of that door (executed, killed - somehow Nazi stuff came to mind there). I asked the guy if I will die. And the guy said yes, but we can stop for a minute to delay it a bit. Then we stopped at the door to rest.

Next I know, I was running back and went to the upper road, with the line of people going upwards. There was an older man (somebody important) and I somehow got next to him. He had in his hands a thread like a black shoelace that he was playing with.

We went to some kind of arena and we sat down, and the young guy came running after me. I was afraid that the older guy will let him take me away, but while he looked sadly over me disappointed that actually took the road going down earlier on and that I ran away, he didn't let him take me away, so I continued sitting down there next to the older person...That's pretty much what I remember before waking up.

Saturday, October 1st 2011.
First off let me say this is one of the most fucked up dreams I have ever had. The absolute logic of the dream is probably what scared me the most, the fact that even awake I cannot find an explanation is terrifying to me. Ok, now to the dream.

This dream started with me waking up in a house that I knew was my house but had never seen before. I stretched out and yawned, then instinctively went to the bathroom to piss. I remember thinking to myself that it was odd that I knew where the bathroom was when I had never been to the house before. I kind of had this weird time skip thing where I opened the bathroom door and stepped outside into the dark yard of the house. There were wrecked cars and I realized that it was a trailer park.

There were people standing around a bonfire drinking beer and hard alcohol in red cups. There was music playing and I heard it playing but I did not know what it was. Suddenly I heard a cough and jumped a little as I noticed the guy standing right next to me. "It's kind of weird how that works out isn't it?" He said, the guy was my good friend Keith "Yea" I responded continuing the conversation that I could tell had been going on between us for several minutes, I had been talking though unaware of it. I remembered that we were talking about people with mental retardation and mental disabilities. I looked up at the sky and was pleasantly surprised by the number of stars. I turned back to Keith who was gone and instead I was now talking to my friend Tyler. "Yea Jake has Ike, and Keith has you" He said as if he had been talking to me the whole time.

Let me explain this a little bit. Jake is one of my friends who has a brother with down syndrome, Ike. In previous dreams I have dreamed that Keith is my brother. So when Tyler said that Keith had me, He was comparing me to Ike. This was the point in the dream where I started to get scared and freaked out. Back to the dream.

I started to get a head rush and felt really dizzy. I knew that I had to sit down, I rubbed my eyes trying to ignore the buzzing in my head. When I pulled my hands away I was standing in the living room of the house. I sat on the couch behind me. A man came walking down the hall with a fat cigar in his mouth, he was my brother. I had never seen him before but I knew that he was my brother. "Wheres yours?" he said taking a long pull of his cigar. I reached into my pocket and found a pack black and mild cigars. I pulled one out and searched for a lighter that I could not find. "Here" Said another man who was sitting in a chair next to me. This man I also knew was my brother, he held out a lighter for me to light up.

Something seemed incredibly familiar about this moment and I suddenly asked out of nowhere "Has this happened before?". My two brothers exchanged looks. The older of the two, and the one standing, responded "Yea, you keep breaking through and relapsing". At that moment A flood of thoughts overwhelmed my brain and I remembered that this same exact situation had happened before. Another thought that stood out was this knowledge that I had a mental disability that caused me to forget almost everything. I picked up a mini corn dog off a plate on the table and dipped it in some mustard before taking a bite.

A door opened and a woman came in. I had this spike of emotion when I saw her, it was my mother (not my real mother, I'd never seen this woman before). She started to tear up as she walked towards me. This was too much for me to handle and I shouted "Stop! I cant handle this! Give me a second!". She stopped and I saw her lips quivering as she bit them to prevent herself from crying. Everything seemed to freeze except for me at this point. I took some pulls off my cigar and just tried to digest everything that was happening.

I said something that I didn't understand and suddenly my mom came over, hugged me, and cried into my shoulder. "Dont overwhelm him or he'll forget again" My younger brother said "We need to take it slow or it'll be a relapse just like last time." Then I was alone sitting on the edge of my bed in my boxers twiddling my thumbs and staring off into space. I was thinking, about what I have no idea but it was an extremely intense moment even though nothing was happening. If I sleep I'll forget I thought to myself. Suddenly I was fighting with my eyelids trying to stay awake. After a moment I could not resist and I fell back and went to sleep.

Then I woke up.
Why does this dream frighten me so much?
Because it could be true. I could have a mental disability that causes me to forget everything. I could live in that trailer park, in that trailer with 2 brothers and my mom. Everything seemed so real and familiar it was terrifying.

I was living in a house with a couple that was fighting. They had two young boy children. I was rearranging the children rooms in a way that makes me think of the sims. After that I went into the bathroom and arranged my toiletries in drawers designated for me. The walls were of tacky pink tiles and the sink was a matching pink. There was warm sunlight coming in through the bathroom mirror. I walked into the pale yellow kitchen ans noticed my tooth felt loose. I tugged on it with my finger and it slipped out. I shoved it back in and shouted that I needed to see a doctor. I suddenly became aware of how bizzar the whole situation was and I became lucid. I confirmed my suspicion with a nose check. I then utilized my time by exploring the house and my lucidity. I don't remember much of what happens here because my dream after this was so long. I somehow loose my lucidity and next thing I know im in bed with allen. I am on top of him and were wrestling in a playful manor. I am remembering the dream I just had and I have a sneaky suspicion that I am dreaming still. I push my tongue against my tooth and its a little loose. I then see credits rolling on the tv and I see that I can't read them at all, they are in some alien style of writing. I begin to laugh with joy. I bend over and kiss allen on the chest. I think to myself that I don't want to have sex but enjoy the dream buy first id give allen a little smooch. Dream character allen decides to be a dick and tell me that he doesn't want to have sex because it is a waste of being in the astral plane. Then he suggested that I have sex with someone else if I choose to. I tell him to fucking off in a slightly annoyed buy playful way and I roll off of him. I walk back through the kitchen. Some DC's are there but I ignore them and walk outside. I start walking down a paved road with trees with long vines on either side. I begin to swing from the vines like I did when my Gma had trees like this when I was a little girl. It was extremely fun, like something Tarzan would have done. When the trees stopped I was at the edge of a town. Many people had gathered for some type of african music festival. I walked towards the music and saw a very rasta like man playing some african drums. I started to dance to the music and laugh. The man stopped banging the drums for a minute to switch drums but the music sounds continued. I took note on how I was infact the one creating all the music and for some reason I thought that was super cool. I walked over to a vendor selling elephant ears. I was handed one. It was super sugary and tasty. I kept dancing/ walking my way out of the city. The warm day light started to dim and I could see the stars. I was now walking down hill. A commercial plane flew really close past me and I literally shouted out "wow, cool!!!". The plane was really shinny and impressive. I then noticed 3 boys in front if me. They were unlike all the other people I encountered in my dream. They were all really excitedly saying to eachother how they were all lucid. One of them suggested that they try to fly. I took particular note of the fact that none of them had seemed to notice that I was there, strange for most of the DC's in my dreams. I decided to fly too. Usually it takes me 3 jumps before im in the air. I did my 3 jumps but was intersected by a small helicopter flying kinda low. I laughed it off and did it again. This time I was hovering nicely. I continued down the road and came upon an old police station. No one else was around and I got an urge to investigate. I opened the doors. It looked like something out of the 30's. Wake up

This dream was incredibly long but unfortunately much of it has been forgotten. I was at a really creepy movie theater with allen. The place was packed with people and the screen was much larger then normal. The carpet was a deep red color. Allen and I got into our seats. A weird type of belt attached itself around me. Allens chair did the same. Then the chairs shifted to new locations. While they shifted my chair slowed past a man working there. He turned towards me and his face was extremely creepy, like lumpy and sort of greenish. I gasped in fear. When the chairs stopped, mine ended up behind allens. I leaned over allens smolder and told him about the guys face and said that we needed to get out of there. He agreed. We both tugged at the straps of out belts until we were released. Hand in hand we ran out of the movie theater.
*memory laps*
Allen and I end up in a field like place with tall grass and bright sun light. There is an rv there that serves people breakfast food. When I walk up closer to the rv I see that it is my friend Raechel who is serving people food. She must be intoxicated in some way and I like it. She keeps moving around in a flowing fashion, smiling with her eyes half open. I get her attention for long enough for her to sit at a picnic table with me. She explains that her sole goal in life is to be a pancake maker. We part ways. I can't remember much more here other then allen and I walking around the grassy area, looking at hippies.
*memory laps*
Allen, leo, dina, and I are looking for an apartment to live. We visit one that is on a top floor with private stairs to it. Their is a roof covering for the area and a view from that point. I get super excited and tell everyone that it is the one. I explained that it was going to be my mew reading area. They all just stood there as I threw down some pillows and blankets down on the concrete floor. I wrapped one white blanket around my body and plopped to the ground. The view was of trees and it was grey and misty out but yet beautiful. Leo told me that it would be to cold for me to read out there during winter. I showed him an outlet and suggested we get an outdoor heater then. It started to snow and the view was even more incredible. Then they all sat by me for a while and watched the snow.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm in my family's house [it doesn't look anything like any of our real houses]. P. has a terrible secret that she can't stand to tell our parents, so she's making me tell them for her. She actually cries when she tries to talk about it, because she feels so bad about it. Information about the secret is hidden on the computer in a file called “Sisters.nxt,” which is the type of file that contains programming instructions for the toy robots we use at my teaching job.

Our parents come in, and I gather my courage and tell Mom the terrible secret. Everyone is upset, including me.

When I woke up, I was quite stunned that it had just been a dream. It had been incredibly vivid and realistic. I actually made mental notes to call my sister and ask her if she was okay, and to to check my real computer later for a file named “Sisters.nxt.” [There was none, of course.]

I'm in my car [my new-to-me one], on my driveway. It rolls backward down the driveway, even though the parking brake is set. [Anxiety. I am afraid of this happening.] As I turn around to look behind me, I see JM backing a big truck up to our driveway. I smile and wave at him.

I'm back in the same house from earlier, with my parents. My mom's hair has suddenly turned gray, and is short and fluffy. It has two parts that come to a point on the top of her head, which she is feeling with her fingertips to find out how they go. My dad's hair is also turning gray. I realize that I'm back in the unfamiliar house that appeared in my previous dream, and therefore, that I'm dreaming.

I turn away from my parents and walk around the house, observing. The rooms are spacious and empty in the middle. Thoughts about how all this is a dream and not real just won't leave me alone, even though I try to ignore them, for fear that thinking about it too much will cause the dream to fade and me to wake up. I remember that I should try to stabilize and ground myself in the dream by engaging more of my senses, so I go looking for something to eat.

One of the rooms of the house is a kitchen. I open the refrigerator and get out one of those little plastic, single-serving cups of applesauce. I open it up and eat it directly out of the cup, by sticking my tongue into it. It tastes just like applesauce, but the flavor isn't as strong as it would be in reality. I also find that my lips are all tingly and semi-numb, as if I'd had a Novacaine shot that was wearing off. I think, That's happening because these sensations of eating aren't real.

[Dreamskip.] I'm outside, and I remember that I wanted to fly in this dream. I try to take off twice, and both times, I succeed only in jumping about six or eight feet and then falling back down to the ground. The first time, I end up on my butt. After the second time, I think, Wait, don't I usually do this just by thinking about flying? So I do, and it works. I fly around the beautiful scenery of a bunch of ocean harbors and inlets with towns on them. At one point, I fly through some power lines [?] intangibly. [I don't feel any sensation associated with it, though.] As I fly, I go, “Wheeee!”

I'm outside a big church building at night, still flying around.

I'm inside a shop full of shoes and other fashion items. It is owned by Yusuf, who is minding it. I fly through the shop and out the front entrance, into a street.

I'm now outside that same big church building during daylight. I say to myself, “It's daytime now because my real body says so.” I say this because I know it must be light outside by now, and I'm sure my body clock knows that. I decide to just walk across the grass to get to the entrance of the church, but then I use a small burst of my flight powers to get up all six steps in one leap.

There is some big event going on on an outdoor lawn, with tents or shade covers set up. [I don't really remember this part very well.]

--------------------------------------------
Side notes:

Last night was the one-year anniversary of the night I had my first substantial lucid dream. That fact made me really motivated to have another cool lucid dream, and I succeeded in having one. I was really pleased and proud of myself that I had. I wasn't quite as euphoric about it as I was that first night, but I was pretty happy. I'm really happy with what I've experienced in my dream life this year, but, of course, there's much more I want to do and learn. Here's to many more years of lucid dreams!

I was at a party and everybody there seemed like they were old friends even though I did not know most of them. The house was very nice and had a lot of property, a large deck, a long drive way, and very nice furniture. There was a baseball field and a soccer field close to the house where people were playing under the lights, it was nighttime.

First I was inside doing something that I could not remember. I started to go outside, though I got stopped by somebody who tried to tell an embarrassing story about me but nobody was listening so I kept going. I said hello to whom I presume owned the house and to a cute girl who followed me outside to smoke a cig.

On the deck I sat in a chair by the railing and talked with the cute girl who asked me why I had so much trouble sleeping. I looked around and saw that everybody was very interested in how I would answer, I said “I don’t know, some nights it’s like I have insomnia and other nights I sleep fine.” The cute girl responded “Yea I cant sleep when I’m camping” And that clicked with me as I responded “Yea camping is the worst, I don’t sleep at all when I’m camping” to which she said “My parents don’t understand” I replied “mmhmm I’d rather just stay up all night then lay there trying to sleep.”

Then I accidentally dropped my cig off the deck and I had to go and get it, a guy that seemed really familiar came with me to get the cig which seemed really far away. When we got back more people that I didn’t know were arriving but they seemed to know me like we were the best of buds.

That's when i woke up.

Ok, I'm starting this journal to keep track of my dreams. (what a surprise!)
Lately I've been having trouble determining if I am awake or in a dream. So in hopes of being able to better decipher what is real and what is not I'm starting this log.

09/26/2011
Dream One:
"Lucid Juggernaut"

The very first thing I remember is sitting on a couch, during the day, with a few friends. Without warning, a thunderous banging noise came at the front door. Someone apparently had a battering ram and was trying to bust into the house, while we were inside. Immediately, we all scrambled, taking up our guns and preparing for a firefight. However, with the loud banging becoming more intense, some of us were able to see just how many people were out there...and how many guns they had. We were not about to stick around and be slaughtered, so we all bolted out the back door, scrambling through the neighborhood and catching faint glimpses of hundreds of these heavily-armed thugs, raiding all of the houses in the neighborhood. We were being fleshed out, and our territories were being seized by this faction.

Before we were able to make it out of the neighborhood, we were cornered by a patch of these thugs. I don't believe we had our guns anymore, and they ended up robbing us for everything we had in our pockets. We could do nothing but stand there and fume over how we were being humiliated by these goons, and how helpless we were. After cracking a few jokes, they sent us on our way. However, after a few short steps, I finally realized how crazy this situation was. I figured out that I was dreaming, and I couldn't be more ready for revenge.

I turned around, mid-pace, and began walking back toward the thugs, whom had just robbed us. I didn't care how I did it, (or that it really didn't matter, because this was just a dream), but I was about to get our damn stuff back! Lol. They all watched me as I approached, waving my hands back in my direction, and yelling at the armed men to bring it on. Accepting the invitation, they all started firing at me, simultaneously. At first, I began to let the bullets just slam into me, while I continued walking toward them. I had to clentch my fists and brace forward, because they bullets were actually a bit painful, but I tried to just push the sensation out of my mind, while I stalked twoard the men. When it finally became too uncomfortable, I took to catching most of the bullets in my hands, which also stung, but was still effective. However, the men just continued firing, and even with a good level of lucidity, it was beginning to get a little overwhelming. I was still having a good time, though, watching them sh!t bricks when they saw how they couldn't really stop me with all that firepower.

An idea came to mind. Focusing my intention to use a little telekinesis, I brought my hands in front of me, fingers curled toward on another, as if I were palming a basketball. With the men continuing to fire away at me, I drew all of my attention to the empty space between my hands, and 'willed' all of the bullets to be drawn to this void. The bullets immediately ceased hitting me, and I could literally see them being collected, in this empty space between my hands, as if there were a powerful, invisible magnet floating there. (I had gotten the idea from the Mech Suit scene, in the movie District 9, where the Mech used some sort of technology to catch the bullets in mid air, and collect them into one, floating spot.) Then, once I had a good mass of bullet heads collected in this space, the men finally stopped shooting. They stared at the hovering bullets with awe, and were obviously loss for words. Smiling, I quickly flung my hands out in the direction of the gunmen, launching the spent bullets out of the space between my palms, like buckshot from a gun (which is also what the Mech did, with the bullet tips, in the movie). It was just awesome, and I'm surprised it worked, so effortlessly. The first wave of thugs dropped like stones, and more moved in from around the neighborhood. I basically ripped through them all, using their own weapons against them, but eventually losing lucidity. I was able to keep the control for a bit, but the bullets began to take their toll on me, and I could feel myself dying. Still trying to fight through the sensation of having my energy drained from me, I eventually had to succumb. I ended up dying in the street, seeing myself in the third person as a female friend from my group clutched me and cried.

(There was a strange transition here, that might have been a completely different dream, where some girl, that might have been the same one, was going down on me in a public place. I remember being lucid here, for a moment, but still a little embarassed that people were watching us and walking right by us, even though I knew they were DC's.)

The dream then transitioned again (or there is just a lot I am missing), and I was now in some scenario where I believe I was a police offer. I had lost my lucidity again (but, again, I don't feel like it was a separate dream). My female companion from earlier was still with me, and she was acting as my 'partner'. We were in some similar situation to what had happened back in the neighborhood, in that we'd set up some kind of presence in this huge, multi-level office building, but were run out of it by this larger faction. This time it was more of a shadow organization with lots of money, modern security, and lots more firepower than even the thugs from earlier.

Having failed our first confrontation with these new gunmen, I remember us walking back out toward the parking lot, pissed off at having not been able to bring the group down. Once again, just on the verge of retreat, I realized I was dreaming once again. My disappointment instantly turned to mischeivous glee. Without saying another word, I reached into an open trunk and grabbed a handgun and immediately began to storm my way back into the tall office building, and up the stairs, toward where my squad had just been forced out of. I don't remember much of the battle, but it went pretty much like my rampage through the neighborhood, with guys emptying clips into me, and me just refusing to go down. I remember a specific corridor, where I tried shooting my gun, but it was just like a BB gun, and not doing any damage. Annoyed with this, I walked toward the nearest shooter - allowing his bullets to rip into me, on the way - and proceeded to try to pistol whip him and the guy next to him. Unfortunately, I got that 'sluggish' effect, and was not able to get any power behind my swings. The more intense the fighting got, the more I could feel my lucidity slipping in and out. I remained lucid enough to remember that I had died, during the last rampage, and I became anxious about whether or not this would happen to me again, now. I was able to survive this time, though, keeping myself calm instead of allowing the energy-draining sensation to creep back into me. Once I was done having my fun, I walked back down to the rest of my team, completely unharmed, but still riddled with bullet holes and bleeding from every inch of my body.

(There was another transition after this, which might have been a different dream, but I don't really feel like it was. It didn't really tie in with the theme from the previous, though, so I will just label it as a separate fragment, even though I'm admittedly not sure whether it was a seperate fragment, or just a continuation of the dream.)

Dream Fragment Two

I was with JH, and we were leaving my house (which was actually the house where the ex and I used to live, years ago). My mom had just come home (though she didn't actually live in that house with us, in waking life), and I had to break away to speak to her for a moment. All I can remember about talking to her was catching her on the front porch, and seeing that she was wearing a very nice, red dress, and really long hair.

09/19/2011
"Hoverbikers"

I don't remember very much of this one, but I was in what seemed like a Final Fantasy type of setting, and in a motorcycle chase, much like the one that Cloud had against Yazoo, Luz and Kadaj, on Advent Children. However, in this dream, we were actually on hover-bikes, that were a lot like the bikes in the game Jet Moto (which I saw an ad for, just the other day). There was one specific moment, that I remember leaning back on the bike as I soared down a steep, declining highway at breakneck speed, feeling like I was riding on a rocket.

Later, we found out that there was some sort of big conspiracy going on, and the cops of this Midgar-like town were killing off newcomers, to keep them from learning some type of secret. The last thing I remember was trying to escape some part of the city that was just crumbling down around us, while being bombarded with explosives.

09/20/2011
Fragment
All I remember is that I was a Broly type of character, and I was brawling with another really powerful villain. We were flying through the air and firing energy blasts at each other. We were also tearing through buildings like during the Z-fighters' first encounter with Broly, on the The Legendary SuperSaiyaJin DBZ movie.

02.10.2011

Flight at the beach (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I found myself in one of my meditation/healing groups. The meditation was almost over when I noticed that I have been there for a while. I wondered if I slept through all the meditation as I could not recall what happened. I was also surprised that I could not recall the healing sessions. I knew that usually people comes to me asking if I could give them a healing, but I did not recall giving any, so I started to think that something funny was going on.

I entered into an elevator. The elevator was all gray and it had a pale light. The elavator did not have buttons, but started going down on itself.

I realized that as I was dreaming, I could travel with the elevator. I really missed my dream beaches, so I focused on finding a beach as soon as the doors opened.

After a few moments, the doors opened and I could see a very bright sunny day and a swimming pool. I realized I was at the Melia Alicante hotel swimming pool. I used to go a lot to this hotel when I lived in Spain as a child.







I was surprised that I ended up in that pool and flew a little bit to make sure that the beach was there as requested. I also wanted to check if it was the hotel indeed. It was very sunny and the sky was very blue. There were a lot of people at the swimming pool. I was going to jump in the pool when the lifeguard told me to shower first.

I decided to shower, but then, to fly at high speed and feel the chills. I flew very fast over the beach, feeling my wet dream body drying under the sun. I flew for a while when I saw a big wall. It was around 200 feet tall. A dream character told me it I could jump over it without flying. I did jump over it a few times, some of my jumps were backflips and it was kind of fun.

I was about to attempt to Astral Project when my cat awoke me.

I first joined in 2008 and had a dream journal then. Took a long break from DV. Now I'm back and attempting this again (using this new format).

I miss lucid dreaming, so hopefully keeping a dream journal will help increase my LD frequency.


*awkward smile*

flying blue fish. home. Pao2x. family. people. Utah? Balot.

flashback. Latino-looking kid in the middle of a dirt road, pushing a cart. kids in front. he fought them. some kids behind took some of his (?) stuff. the kids in front eventually took the cart. don't know what happened to the kid.

a church? Mexican? The kid. grew up. A book was in the cart. Michael Frankl? He's looking for it. he grows tall or back to a kid's height at will. looks Caucasian now.

Everyday I will be posting in this DJ for a while. Subscribe if your interested.