All DJ Entries

I am in some building. This building may be more of a house, though it is vast and labyrinthine. I think an Asian woman is showing me around or I keep running into her. At one point, she is introducing me to ‘the author’. He is a fairly unassuming man with brown hair and a full but medium length beard. He is in formal dress, along with the few other men with him. They appear to be golfing at an indoor course (or simulation?) in this room that was right around a corner. I’m under the impression that this ‘author’ has made enough to afford this house. He gives me a curtly respectful nod, and I move along. There are a myriad of rooms and furnishings, blending into the whole layout, often lacking clear demarcations between rooms. There is a large, plush bed in a corner. In it, under the comforter, lies a man and two or more women. I think that’s a high ratio, then I see another man’s head in the small sea of bedding and pillows. I may be in search of a bathroom, or I may just be passing a few. The second one I pass seems narrow and branching off in two directions. I think one side has sinks and the other has toilets or urinals. Either way, it is far too large than is necessary for a house.






I am going into a Sam’s Club with Melissa. We are not members, so I think we’ve snuck in somehow. We gather a few shopping bags worth of goods and proceed to the check out. Instead of paying there, you’re supposed to give your phone number. We give a fake number. We’re given a receipt which is checked by a man on the way out. We give this (Hispanic?) man a different receipt - from a different, real transaction or something. This receipt is from a different location, though, and we had folded it to obscure that, but he ends up seeing it. We’re not sure what to do, but we end up sneaking away when he becomes distracted by something. We stay close to the line of parked cars. I start to run, but Melissa tells me not to, as it’ll be more noticeable. Later, we are somewhere and I am thinking that we’re probably going to get caught. I think we’ve done this before too. I feel remorse and don’t want the repercussions of being caught.

I am driving on a wide road that feels sort of residential. I don’t see any houses, but there are some buildings a ways back from the road. It’s raining and, judging by the puddles all around, was raining a lot harder. I round a corner with enough speed for my tire to throw water from a puddle onto a girl on the walkway by the road. The girl looks early 20s and Hispanic. She has her hood up and is carrying something with both arms. Her face is shocked and saddened. I keep driving, as I did not intend to do that, but I look in my rear view and see her still standing there, staring at me driving away. I feel really poorly and I also see the beach towel on the passenger’s side floor (the blue one that really is in my car right now), so I stop and start to reverse. The girl sees me backing up and starts to run away. I keep reversing, then stop and get out, holding up the towel. She sees it and stops and then runs to me. Her appearance is completely different; she is a really tall white girl (same age range) with dirty blond hair cut in a straight line at the bottom of her long neck. She’s wearing a slightly alternative style - flared and slightly flowing black pants, and earthy green tank top, and I think a brown vest and maybe some jewelry. There are two barbell style piercings on the vest with only the silver bead showing. The vest is worn more so around them. The first thing she does is come in for a hug. I lightly hug her with the towel. When we pull away, I see that it looks like she is about to cry. I also can smell a perfume musk and her neutral breath. I tell her that I’m really sorry and that I didn’t mean to and that I feel really bad. She tells me it’s okay. I feel tears welling up in my eyes and have to hold them back.




I am in some house, but it feels like I am working here. People come up and ask where things are and I show or tell them. The house seems small, with a low ceiling and narrow hallways with sharp turns. It seems to be unfurnished except for a few rooms. An older couple wants to know where the DVDs are, so I have them follow me. I accidentally take them to a small bathroom that seems to be at the end of a little alcove in the wall. There is a shelf in here, but no DVDs. I tell them oops, this isn’t it, I overshot it, and have them follow me to the right spot. This correct spot is a covered porch outside. It may be more of a gazebo, but it seems too close and connected to the house. Surrounding greenery compliments the wicker and woven white. The shelf of DVDs is out here. Someone is lying on their back on a lounge couch/chair with their eyes closed and a large pillow over them. Someone starts to move the pillow. The pillow is mostly concealing the body, so I think they may not even see her, but I do tell her to stop, there’s someone under there. Her eyes stay closed; I think she may be asleep or meditating.




I have gone into Discology. The building is completely different, and there are no records here. It’s still a one room shop, and there’s a large counter along one wall. (It vaguely reminds me of a dispensary?) The lighting is dim, and there are tall black shelves. It seems tidy. I think there are antiques, rocks, minerals, etc. I am walking out, but catch a glimpse of David behind the counter and feel bad about leaving without saying anything to him, so I go back in. There’s a tall black shelf to the left of the door, and on it is a geode that I start looking at. It’s probably about two feet long and one foot high, and the front is completely flat and glossy. It’s a shiny but natural red. There are veins along the top and bottom that are darker and denser than the rest of it. David seems quiet and kind of unfriendly. I have to say hi, but he says hi back nicely enough.




I am with Sage, and we are going to hike Mt. Rose. I pull into a pretty full parking lot as it is still dark out. There are a lot of people out, all starting to hike. (This place is not the Mt. Rose area or trail; it reminds me of Rancho San Rafael and the hot air balloons). The main trail is through some tan grasses right off the road going uphill. Other trails branch off, but go in the same general direction. There are people on all of them. Sage says something about high ground or staying high. I think we both have backpacks on, but I have little to no water and no food. I tell Sage I have no food and ask if she brought any. I’m worried about possibly getting faint. She says she didn’t bring any but that it’s okay because we won’t be going to the summit. She tells me she can’t go that far anyway, and I remember that she can’t. I think I took it slightly for granted that one would be able to go that far. I think we might just go to the look out, but think that’s pretty far too. We end up only going a little ways before we turn around. The weather seems very mild, maybe even spring or summer.




(Since I’m with Sage, this may be part of the last dream?) Sage and I are on a school bus. I’m thinking we’re going to get off now, but the bus turns around so that its door lines up with the door on another school bus. Both doors are opened so as to create a passage from one bus to the other. People from this bus start getting onto the other this way. Sage and I do the same. I think I’ll just have to get off at this bus’s first stop. It’s a tight fit somehow between the two buses; I sort of have to squeeze through. This bus is crowded and small. It is Alice-in-Wonderlandesque, in that it looked normal size from outside, yet tiny inside, even though the people look regularly sized. Sage is at an aisle seat only a row or two back. I can’t see an empty spot except for the first row to the right with a guy in it. I take it. I am scrunched up, and my legs take up most of the aisle, but I guess it’ll have to work. I watch the lady bus driver survey the bus and its passengers through the rear view mirror with that look that all bus drivers seem to have. I think she’s wearing a hoodie, pulled back brown hair, and dark sunglasses.




I am at Lily’s mom’s house. Dad is with me, and I think we’ve been out doing something. She looks mostly different (almost like a conglomerate of Susan and Carol, now that I think of it), with medium length blond hair. She lounges on the couch as I notice a Virtual Reality device on her head. (It looks like the picture on the box of the one at JCPenney). The black strap is at an angle like that of an eye patch, causing the device to sit on her left temple. The whole thing is very casual, almost as if it were a hat or a cellphone in a pocket. I can hear it nonchalantly talking to her. She’s talking to us and only occasionally gets distracted by the device. At its reminder, she gets up to write something on a calendar. I go with her. After she’s done writing, she tells me to sit, make myself at home. She asks if I want tea; it sounds good, though I’m not sure I say yes. I think there are spring rolls or potstickers set out on the small counter.




I am with Melissa for some Girl Scout? event. It is outside, though one section seems to be partially ‘inside’ a covering or awning. I get into a line for food that’s set out on long cafeteria style tables. The plates of food are very small and have sections like frozen food trays. I think there’s chili and rice (and something that looks like the seafood antipasto from last night). I serve myself a small portion and sit with some unfamiliar but nice seeming people. At one point, I went up to Melissa and another lady in another line. They both have wet but empty shot glasses. I see a menu advertising $2 drinks and think that must be what that is. She offers for me to smell the glass; it smells pretty good, and I can tell that it was a vodka drink. I’ve already been drinking something, otherwise I’d probably try one.




(This feels like it could’ve been at the end of the last dream). I enter a dark bathroom and go to turn the light on, but the switch does not work. I quickly try it a few times more before the realization hits me: I am in a dream. I look into the mirror and at my reflection as the thought is going through my mind that I am dreaming. Instantaneously, I hear screaming and/or another loud noise and watch as my reflection fades away into darkness.




I am coughing up copious amount of phlegm, thick and brownish, into a white sink. (*This felt quite realistic. Shortly before bed last night I had to spit into the sink).




I am in bed with Melissa. She is naked, and I think I am too. I seem to have my body positioned correctly on the bed, while her head is towards the other side. I am touching her. At some point, I realize there are two of her, like a corporeal reflection (the axis of symmetry possibly my body). They are exactly the same, though I can just tell the one on the left is the reflected version. The two bodies come closer together, closer still, until their exposed clitorises are touching. When they do, I can sense and feel the sensual and sexual ecstasy and pleasure

I enter a men’s restroom. It is not all that big and seems to have only urinals inside. Everything seems to be made of tan tile or stone. The urinals are not on the wall, but instead are inlaid on the tile/stone ledges. There is a slight lip on them. I start using one (there are no dividers). I think someone leaves. When it is just me in here, I think I sense or experience some type of paranormal activity.

I am outside somewhere - the slight incline, soil composition, array of granite stones, and surrounding pines suggest Lake Tahoe. I follow a trail down a moderately steep hill. It is not long at all before I reach the bottom and the sandy beach. The best beach spots are some yards away to my left and right. They both are filled with people. I’m looking for a space to pee, but this seems too close to the people, so I start back up. I’m now inside, walking up an enclosed stairway. It is carpeted in a maroon or similar color. I think the walls are wooden, making the place seem older. I still need to use a bathroom and, as I’m coming up another flight, I see one built into the wall right off the staircase. I step in and it’s very small, with just enough room for a toilet and sink. I think I use it and then continue on my way. The stairs end at the entrance to a fairly large room. The room is dim and home to a large, square, wooden dining table that takes up a fair amount of it’s space. Melissa’s family is seated around it, seemingly most of the way through a meal, as I join them. Melissa is across the table from me, but her mom is at the corner right next to me. I notice a few assorted, empty/near empty wine bottles. I also notice everyone, including myself, has a glass with about ¾ of an inch of red wine in it. I wonder why they’re all filled similarly.

The two themes of this dream were travel and a search for the bathroom. I was on boats, bike, and even a train, going somewhere. In all of these cases, I also had to pee and was looking for a bathroom. The pee urge itself was likely real, coinciding with that need your body gets to pee after sleeping and just collecting liquid for a long time.

I remember being on some museum-like tour. If the room was a square, it seemed like my head was centered on a corner of that room, so I could both see the entrance to another room/hall on the wall to my right, and water fountains on the wall to my left that lied between the women and men's restroom, as they usually do. I was with a group of other kids, a procession that was stopping at the front desk (which was in front of and parallel to the wall on my right with a tall white man with a suit, a low-cut haircut, and his arms either behind his back or held across his front, looking down at all the children) and proceeding through the entrance to a hallway whose walls were decorated with painting and lined with ransom small wooden desks/tables/ and stuff. The color scheme of the place made it seem professional. It was decked out in reds and browns, and it wasn't that bright, aside from a less-than-powerfully-fluroescent light coming from a ceiling I didn't see. The hallway seemed even more brightly lit, but still not overwhelming. Warm is the thing that comes to mind. Around the bathroom, the walls were like an extension of the carpet, same pattrern and same fuzz. There was a red carpet-type thing I think I saw at one point.

Anyway, I was in the back of this group with the group of kids, the hallway, and the bathroom all in my vision. A white lady who may have worked at the museum and was guiding us or who was our teacher or something was also there. I think of her and just see an image of a brunette, 30-something chubbyish white girl with a low ponytail holding bout long dark-rown hair and a white complexion that wasn't extremely white, but also suggested she didn't get any tanning done. She was also wearing a pantsuit, although I never saw her legs. In the image, she's looking down at us with her eyebrows slighly drawn together over her glasses and her mouth closed: not so much a frown or a face of anger, but that familiar white lady 'what's going on here' face. It seemed appropriate, as she was looking at a groupful of children and seemed to be making sure everyone was accounted for. The pantsuit, her hair being pulled back, the glasses, the fact that I only saw her upper body and I saw her from the perspective of a short child looking up at an adult all suggested authority.

Here I am still looking at the bathroom, trying to get to it. I have to pee. I don't know if I do go into the bathroom.

Cut to another bathroom scene:

I'm finally in the bathroom. This is preceded by a dream sequence of me finding said bathroom that I barely remember, but alas, here's a bit of it

The bathroom was small, and had dark brown computer-desk-like chairs in each corner. I follwed the lady into the side of the room and, at first, only saw the first chair. The layout and my point of view entering the room looked kinda like this



It was a new kind of bathroom that I had to figure out how to pee in. I asked the lady several times how to, and she was no help. At first, I just asked her if I'm supposed to squat and pee directly into the drain. She was like no, and told me to do something else. I told her it had to be something like peeing into the drain, otherwise, if I sat in the chair, I'd simply sit on the chair and ruin it. She offered no helpful response, and I left the bathroom in frustration.(learning ASL and how to sign location could really help me be better at remembering my dreams)

I dreamed about the beach and the water! I think I was in a bathing suit. Id left everyone just to look around the beach. It wasn't a bright sunny day, it was gljoomy and ark but still the ocean attracted me. I wanted to find some souvenier, like a shell or something. (I'm starting to remember my beach war apocalypses dream, damn I hope I recorded that, that was a dope dream, I love my beach/water dreams)--------------------

I am at some house with some others (in the dream they are familiar, but I’m not really sure who they are. I think they are younger and family friends/people we’ve known a while but don’t see all the time). One of them is trying to see a picture of my hair when it was longer. I am looking through my pictures, but can’t find one. I then go onto Snapchat’s ‘my eyes only’. I scroll slowly, thinking I have inappropriate pictures on here. The boy is practically looking right over my shoulder, and I wish he would back up a bit. I don’t find any pictures except for what looks like a lot of pictures from Yosemite. I think I must’ve lost some pictures or something. We’ve been outside, but I now go up a slight hill and into the house to use the bathroom. Most lights are out and it seems later, leading me to believe that anyone in here is asleep. I go into the slightly large bathroom, and the door doesn’t shut quite right. I then get it to stay as closed as it’ll get and stand right by it while I use the toilet, since it’s right by the door.



I am with Melissa and Mom in a small coffee shop. Both Mom and I have cups that we’ve just drank coffee from. I think they both still have ice in them. Mom sets hers on the counter and orders a chai with espresso in it. I ask for an in iced Americano, also setting my cup on the counter. We all sit at the counter and Mom tells us how her and the barista, a black lady a bit younger than Mom, have known each other for a while.

I am with Melissa at Harry’s house (it doesn’t really look like his house, but it is large and opulent). We’re going to stay the night here. Melissa leans close to me and tells me she wants to take a bath. It does sound nice. I tell her there is a hot tub outside. Rocio now comes over and says that the bath here is not good - that it’s dirty or something (I’m not sure if she heard us or if it was coincidence). I’m now thinking about where we’re going to sleep. There’s a huge tan couch in this room and a large, empty bed in another room. I wonder if we’ll have to sleep separately, but don’t think so. I think I’m going to ask somebody about the sleeping arrangements, but it’s late enough to not really matter because probably no one else will show up here, and everyone who is here will be asleep now or shortly. I do pass a room and see Rocio and Jim Fry sitting in the large, tall bed. Jim is fixing or moving her shirt by her left breast. In another room, Dad and Harry are sitting in a vast bed, both texting. I notice a TV high up on a wall that is turned on. Marilyn is in a wooden chair against a wall a ways back from the TV. She is facing it, but it looks like she might be asleep.


Mom is driving me (and maybe also Melissa) to the place where she grew up. This two lane highway leads to a lush and rocky coastal point. I think we go past it and come back or something else unnecessary. We are here now, by some docks and a small building or two. I start swimming. I then pull myself up onto the dock; it’s slightly difficult. Tylar is doing the same and having the same struggle. Now Mom goes into a men’s bathroom after two guys come out of it. I see the women’s bathroom door is closed; this must be why she isn’t using it. I, after waiting a little bit, am about to go use the bathroom, then remember that she went in there.


I am with Melissa in what seems to be a building with a very high ceiling. We are climbing up very steep steps/stairs on the side of a huge refrigerator? Others are doing the same thing; we start climbing faster towards the top and are the first to summit. I am now halfway back down, but over the floor, suspended by a rope? There are ready to eat pizzas set out down there. John Blomquist is down there and I’m trying to get him to get a pizza up to me. He doesn’t, and I end up on the ground anyway. We start talking, and he seems a little intoxicated. I imagine things from his state right now. There is a shelf of alcohol here there are little tear shaped bottles of wine with plastic labels over the whole bottle. I see they are 19% alcohol and think it’s a fairly large portion for that ABV.

Non-dream stuff - had a couple of non-lucid dreams I remember in some detail. Chronological order slightly forgotten.

---

Dream fragment:
I was playing some sort of space game, I could see in third-person view the ship I was controlling. Though I distinctly remember being "in" the game, I know my partner was watching me play, and I was in a system that had 3 jump gates to other stars; the jumpgates looked a bit Stargate-like, but two were coloured red and one was green. I wanted to go in one of the red ones. The system was very dark, there was a red giant star at its centre and when I arrived at the gates (that for some reason were clustered together) there were 2 ships, which were part of local military.

I remember using the jumpgate, though I don't remember the transition special effects, and when I got to the next system, it felt like it was a bit more dangerous. Visually it was confusing, I was struggling with the controls all of a sudden and the field of view adjustment kept changing for no reason. There was a blue giant star, and a regular yellow star; I remember some nebulae, blue, too, but there was something odd about the "skybox"* for the system.

In my controls struggle I accidentally started warping, backwards, somehow. The warp got faster and faster and I could see a "ul" units measurement at the bottom of the interface, going up quickly from 0.x to ~700. I managed to stop it and was now in a different system. I remember commenting to myself "oh, I forgot that worked that way", regarding the system travelling feature of the warp. It reminds me now of the warp mechanic in Eliteangerous.

Then I used it again and went forwards this time but steering at the same time, but when I warped out, I was in a planet with my ship, in the middle of a mega city, so I had to quickly try and maneuver up through openings I could see.

I remember getting past the atmosphere though I don't remember what happened next.

Dream sequence:
On a plane, with my partner. I don't think I was too happy about it; but we were landing, and we were landing in a street somewhere in France. This was the planned destination and the landing worked and stopped more than few hundred feet away from the nearest building.

We got out and I think we went to a flat somewhere, I think it was my aunt's and I remember some sort of interaction with my aunt before the dream started. But all I remember from the flat was that it was like our real kitchen and there was a bathroom. The bathroom was filthy, there was trimmed hair everywhere; there was a slight yellow tinge on things, not from urine or anything, as far as I can gather. There were no strong smells. But it felt filthy. I was trying to clean the toilet's rim with some paper, for some reason, and it was taking very long.

There was a transition and the next thing I remember is being at a supermarket in the same city, and I'm picking up what looks like a sweetener capsule dispenser thing, but instead, they have pictures of great monuments on them. I pick one that has a Great Pyramid, and I remember thinking or commenting to someone near me, "with this we can build our own pyramid... seems it takes about 3.8 acres of land, so we just need to get some 4 acres of land somewhere".

I walk to one of those self-checkout things, only carrying this little thing, and I scan it but I'm a little confused as to how things work and take a little while to understand where to place it; then I do, and I'm about to pay, but this other French guy about my age or younger starts using the same machine as I'm using, and I speak to him in English saying "excuse me, could you help me pay?" and he doesn't even look at me, which I feel to be rude. In the dream I have the distinct feeling they ignored English on purpose. I somehow manage to pay with my card, which I took out of my wallet blindly, but confirmed to be the card I wanted by the 4 last numbers, which were accurate to waking life as I remember.

I leave the shop and go down some street. Of note, I go past a man painting some sort of tall vertical canvases, in his own shop, but do not talk or engage with him. Down this street I am looking for a suitable land for this pyramid I want to build. I find some plaza and some ruins, and in the dream I think that because there are some Aztec-looking ruins I could just use them as a base for the pyramid... It's a micro steppe pyramid in its own right, this ruin, and I remember a hole that would be the stairwell. It is exceedingly dark in here, but I can see somehow. There is a different hole next to a wall, big enough for any grown man to slide in, but I do not satisfy my curiosity and walk away instead. Something felt odd but that wall opening, like it would go down forever.

I remember going up some street and then seeing some big building with a hand-painted sign that said:

"2 any artist;
60(something) (something);
214 accomplished artist"

or something to this effect. I got annoyed reading the sign. The numbers were value/money, and I felt that it was unfair to unknown artists. I commented something out aloud and realise that I'm standing next to the shop with that man from before, with the tall cyllinders that he painted. He said to me "unfortunately that's how it works; you can see how much work I have here - because it is exotic and unusual, I am not considered to be good or accomplished" or something like this. His shop was literally cluttered with all of his artistic work, some of it looked quite nice, some of it was indeed a bit unusual.

There was another dream after this but I've forgotten most of the details, apart from a teen boy being naked and antagonising me, who I punched in the face, though he didn't back down and just kept being annoying. There was a little girl but she seemed sad, she had a little pink dress.

---

Notes:

• *The skybox is traditionally a scaled up 3D element that keeps the exact same position as the player and makes up the far-distance objects that can be represented either with 2D sprites or low resolution 3D models.
• The comments of the other artist reflect partly the basic feel I have about art's value in general.
• My partner was present at some points in the second dream but I don't remember the interactions between us.
• I have been to France only once, when I was a kid, and had the possibility of going again when I was around 16, but didn't.
• In the dream I just couldn't understand why at the supermarket the guy was rude to me. I was being polite and asking for help to get out of his way. But it later occurred to me in the dream that if I'd used my native language instead he wouldn't have been so rude, so it felt like it was a French/English animosity thing.
• I don't know where the 3.8 acres figure came from (it seems very specific but for no reason) in the dream for the Great Pyramid's base area; but checking quickly has revealed to me that the Pyramid's base is about 13 acres, about 3.25 times my 4 acres land estimate in the dream. I do not have any intuitive understanding of the actual area taken by an acre in waking life, so if there was any accuracy at all, it would have been a surprise.

I got lucid once tonight. Went to bed around 9:15 P M and finished the outline around 7 A M. I was up a little late, playing one more Pokemon battle! But I am using Pokemon battles to practice my episodic memory.

(zzz)

Round 1 of dreams.

I think I remember something with Goku, but only vaguely.

I remember being at a 12 step meeting. There were people from my high school there. I was thinking or sharing about how I have a good amount of sober time. Most other people there seemed in their first few months.

A woman sitting near me started to dig a pen into my chest or shoulder or something. It kinda hurt. I tried to get her to stop. Then some people behind me started taking pictures of me with their cell phones. They were all laughing. I tried to get them to stop.

It became a fight scene kind of thing, where I was being chased. There was something about how 2 guys caught me in an alley, or between a big truck and a building, and were going to beat me up. I think I imagined powering up and sending them flying away.

The fight/chase ended and I was walking along. I walked over a narrow cement thing, maybe like something at a skate park. I was thinking of being linked mentally to J B.

I also remember a part where I was with a group of people. So I said, "I am a [diety] named Rock." I might have said "Greek [diety]." I said it in kind of a deep voice, like Gaston's voice. I think I felt silly or embarrassed after. I thought it would sound cool, but I just felt silly.

I was walking out of their area when I noticed that they were enclosed in giant wire mesh tents. There was a zipper I unzipped to walk out. "Are these faraday cages?" I asked, wondering why in the world they would be using computer labs inside a faraday cage. "No," they said. "If they were faraday cages, we couldn't have all this equipment in here." I continued to walk out.

I recalled those and then went back to sleep, still re-remembering them later. My memory is definitely leveling up!

(zzz)

Round 2 of Dreams.

I remember something in the beginning with Pokemon cards. Me and/or others trading and playing them.

I remember this part where I was laying in a bed in the yard. Like my grandmother's apartment complex. There was a dog I kept looking at. The dog looked back at me and I panicked. 'Oh no! If it sees me looking at it, it will come over here!' I was afraid of the dog, and tried to pretend I wasn't looking. Eventually the dog kept walking away.

I remember being at an A C A meeting kind of thing. I was the chair person. I read the format for the meeting. But then I realized that everyone was directing their comments to a woman in the front of the room. I was just sitting in the back. 'Oh no!' I thought. 'I am supposed to sit in the front to read the format, so they will direct their comments to me.' So, I headed for the front.

When I got up there, I said, "That sure was silly of me." And, "It is okay to do something silly." I remember hearing some comments like what I hear in A C A meetings as well as making my own comments.

After the meeting, I was in the back of the room again, doing some kind of opposite hand writing. I had folded sheets of computer paper into segments. My opposite hand was making small letters with a brown felt tip marker.

I remember asking someone for help or comments on what I'd done so far. I felt good about the writing. I remember thinking something about pushing or forcing myself to do it. There was a guy who came to comment on it, but I didn't like his comments. I kind of rejected the feedback and went on working on the writing. I realized I didn't need anyone's feedback. I also said something about how the writing comes from the left or right hemisphere of the brain.

There were some women sitting nearby. I remember I had my wallet. There was much more money in there than usual! Without thinking much, I put it out on the table and just looked through the money. Then I realized the women would think I was trying to show off, and felt embarrassed or misunderstood. I wished I hadn't taken out the money.

I remember walking along a road. I saw one or two people smoking. I was out of smell range and tried to run behind some buildings to ensure the smell didn't reach me.

Then I was in someone's back yard. Kind of like J R's. I think there was a young teenage kid coming home from school, but he was going to smoke before his parents got home, so they wouldn't know.

I wasn't aware it was a dream, but I was able to fly up onto his roof. I imagined that he saw me up there, and then I flew away. He would think I vanished or teleported, and be really amazed.

I woke up and recalled those. Then I re-played all the dreams, rounds 1 and 2, in my mind, to form "solid" memories. When I went to re-remember round 2 in the morning, I could re-remember the end, but it took an extra moment to get to the part about the meeting. I just kept thinking, "I know something was there. I know I remembered it." And eventually it came back to me. Round 1 was easier to re-remember because the part where I said I was a diety came to mind right away.

While I was up to use the rest room, I took 100mcg Huperzine-A and 300mg Alpha-GPC Choline.

Oh! Another memory came to mind. Wow! Well, I remember someone trying to sell me something. I had a stack of white papers. At first they seemed blank. The next time I looked through, instead of blank pages, there were lots of packets with print all over them. Forms to fill out and informational packets. I figured I had just not noticed them, but it was actually the dream doing the thing where the words can morph when I look away and look back.

(zzz)

Round 3 of Dreams.

I remember a bunch of people were guests at nana's. One guy was going outside to smoke. I panicked and tried to make sure all the doors and windows were closed. Once they were, I considered talking with him from the other side of the glass. We could still talk, but his smoke wouldn't reach me.

I remember someone showing me their coloring book. It had small square pages. They said how once they colored a page, they couldn't look back at it. They had to keep moving through the coloring book in sequence. The first third of it, or so, was colored. He seemed really happy with his coloring book.

We were room mates in the kids room at my nana's house. The one where the computer room is now. There was a moment when I wanted to tell him, "Wait! This is a false awakening!" But I didn't think of that until I was between dreams. Round 3 was a marathon of dreams and there were earlier parts i couldn't remember.

I had another false awakening where I was going to write down my dreams. I had my reclining chair and lap top. Some music was coming from Aunt C's room. I had the understanding that other people were guests at nana's house. So, I went to get my ear muffs.

My sister was my room mate in this dream. I felt bad because she didn't have the same hearing protection as me. She showed me her ear plugs. They were made of play dough, plastic wrap, and little puffy balls of fabric stuff. Multi-colored. I knew they weren't the real deal like my ear plugs. "I will get you a pair," I said. But when I looked, none of my ear plugs looked fresh. I even had a red white and blue swirly colored pair. 'I might have to get her a pair tomorrow from home,' I thought. I felt sorry for her that she was using such ineffective hearing protection, and didn't even know.

I was about to go to write on my lap top when I looked out to the hall way. Lots of people were walking by. 'That's different,' I thought. 'What are all those people doing, running around at night?' Then I noticed F was running through the hall. She had a beard! 'Oh! It's a dream!' I thought. That was definitely a dream-induced lucid dream.

I followed F to nana's room. I wanted to talk to her! But people kept blocking me. She went into nana's bathroom and I couldn't get through.

I decided to go downstairs and outside. I didn't have to do any stability techniques at all. It was all perfectly stable on its own, for quite a while! I walked down the hall. Two people were running down the hall behind me. Not chasing me, just running.

The thought crossed my mind to crouch down on all fours, in a table top position, and trip them. I did it at the top of the stairs. Sure enough, they tripped over me, and went flying down the stairs. They landed with a bang on the ground, sprawled out and in pain, on the next floor down.

I felt really bad about that. 'That was so mean,' I thought. 'Even though its a dream, I know that was too mean.' I put out my hand. 'Heal!' I thought. The two of them got up and ran off. I felt less confident in my healing power, and wasn't sure if it really worked.

I went down the stairs and finished going outside, out the back kitchen door. I flew up. Where nana's pool is, there were lots of trees. They were kinda like palm trees, but with yellow and brown and golden looking leaves. I flew up above them.

I really needed to use the bathroom! I landed and used the bathroom on the dirt, in the middle of the dream. (I didn't wet the physical bed.) Aunt B was sitting nearby with someone else. She kind of scoffed. I tried to ignore that, and flew up again. After I used the bathroom in the dream, I felt some relief, but I hadn’t really wet the bed. It makes me wonder if the whole feeling of needing the bathroom was just an illusion in my dream body, rather than a physical need.

So, I was flying up in the air. 'Maybe I will just go straight to outer space!' I thought. So I put my arms out in front of me like super man, and flew up. 'Wow, I am really gaining altitude,' I thought. I felt I was going really fast.

'My shoulders might get tired if I keep my arms up too long,' I thought. 'I will put my arms down, and still fly.' So, I did that, and kept flying. I felt a good flight speed.

There was a pinkish cloud in the sky with writing in it. I don't remember the words. But after a while, I looked down, to see how tiny the Earth looked beneath me. 'Huh?!' I thought. As I looked down, the pool and everyone down there were only like 20 feet below me.

I surrendered and just floated back down to the ground. 'I will use the pool!' I thought. 'I could do a really reckless jump off the diving board!' Where the diving board usually is, there was just a little blue platform at water level. A young child was jumping off of it into the water. 'I need to jump from some place higher,' I thought.

'Ah! The ladder rail!' I went to the rail of the ladder, which was a few feet high, and I guess I jumped in. I don't remember clearly. I do remember doing some wide grip dips on the edge of the pool, with my eyes closed, and thinking, 'This is hurting my shoulders, even in a dream!' Then, when I went to where I expected the ladder to be in waking life, it was right there in the dream, too. That's pretty amazing. I guess I swam in that pool so much as a child that my dreams replicate it with great accuracy and consistency.

I climbed out from the ladder. Then I noticed a really tall tree trunk, but it had a flat top like it had been cut. It was at least 10 feet tall. I jumped to the top. Before I could dive into the pool, I saw that there were other tall trees with flat tops, and then a mountain of logs much taller.

'I could practice my flight skills by aiming for the flat surfaces, instead of just flying aimlessly into space,' I thought. 'So I will!' My aim was good. I could jump from one flat top to the next. I felt myself gradually gaining altitude again. 'Maybe I will just climb these logs all the way into space.'

Then, one of them appeared to be wobbly. 'Uh-oh!' I jumped to it anyway, thinking/hoping it was the only wobbly one. 'Uh-oh!' It wasn't the only wobbly one. I jumped from one flat top to the next and then the whole mountain of logs toppled. There were also orange protein jugs piled up there. They all toppled down.

The people on the ground went running. "Ahhh!" They all cried out. When I got to the ground, I ran to the front yard to escape. I knew they would be mad at me!

I forgot if I woke up briefly, or if the dream just transitioned. But I found myself watching two people talk about popsicles. One woman ate a popsicle. The other guy ate more of them, really fast. Every time, he said, "I like this one!"

I remember a scene where I was writing a dream.

I remember a thing about people selling pills. They had all these pill bottles. They said the pills were to help someone become a good lawyer. They had all sorts of names. I think they were supposed to be nootropics. One bottle had a clear side where I could see little white crystals, like sea salt. It said "Toxic" on the side, on a purple label. There was more detail to that part which I forgot. Something about limiting the amount of supplements per day.

I remember a part where I had a funny red and yellow hat. It said something like, "M S C," on it. Other people with me had similar hats and shirts. I asked one person what MSC stood for, thinking there might be some kind of psychic download of information that I could verify in waking life. But the answer seemed silly. I forgot exactly what it was.

We went along from store to store. This part was much more detailed but I didn't remember it in full. I remember in one store, they had some food on the shelf. I was aware it was a dream, so I kept making little hints, hoping my fellow dream figures would catch on. They didn't seem to notice it was a dream.

We got to another store and I was busted for having stolen the MSC hat. "I will just give it back to you!" I pleaded. "Please don't make me be in trouble. I just didn't know what to do with it." I handed the hat and other stolen clothes over to the police man. He was wearing a dark blue uniform. When I looked down, I saw that I was wearing a dark blue police uniform, too, with a badge and everything! 'How am I gonna explain this one?' I thought.

I looked at both of our feet. I had on black boots. He had on similar black boots, too, except they were elevated by black ice skate blades. 'That's interesting,' I thought. 'There's no ice in here.'

An African American woman came in. Someone was laying on an examination table. Maybe I was seeing myself from outside at this point. "We will give him an X-Ray like when they are checking our mini for a baby!" She said. I think "mini" meant "womb". "That will determine if he stole the clothes!"

I was found to have stolen them, and put into a coffin, and dropped into the sea. I felt like I was watching a show. Even though I wasn't the one in the coffin, just watching it made me feel all this claustrophobia.

Luckily, a friend had snuck along with me. He could move in and out of the coffin and survive underwater. He positioned the coffin inside a sunken ship kind of thing, and then brought back some biscuits. "Here, eat these biscuits," he said. "It will keep your heart rate down." I guess the carbs would kind of sedate me so I wouldn't feel so bad about being imprisoned in the coffin.

'If its my dream, why can't I just teleport outside the coffin?' I thought. But, I didn't have the powers at that time.

Some how that dream ended. I am not sure if there were more details or if it just transitioned. I found myself in Aunt C's room. I knew it was a dream, but I really, really needed the bathroom again! I didn't want to wake up, though.

Another dream figure appeared to advise me. He said I could go to the bathroom in Aunt C's room, and then my physical body would sleep walk to the bathroom at the same time, go, and then sleep walk back to bed, so I could continue dreaming. I really believed that this was going to work, and I would never have to wake up from a dream to use the bathroom again.

I went to Aunt C's bathroom and saw two toilets. One was a urinal, on the left. The other was a toilet, on the right. I also thought that my physical body was sleeping in Aunt C's room so that made me really not want to wet the bed. And I thought that my physical body was positioned exactly where my dream body was in relation to the toilets.

'I know that in waking life, there's a sink on one side, and a toilet on the other,' I thought. 'So, which side corresponds to the physical toilet?' It would have been the left, but I chose the right side, which was a toilet in the dream, but a sink in waking life. I peed all over the place. It wasn't easy to aim in the dream! I felt some relief after, and hope it worked. there were little trinkets all over the place, including on the toilet seat, that I knocked over.

I noticed myself in the mirror. I had a short brown mushroom cut. 'Thats not me!' I thought. 'I have long hair and a beard.' I knew it was a dream, and continued on.

'What should I do now?' I thought. 'I won't need to wake up for a while, so I could do anything I want!' While I used the bathroom, the dream had even done this thing where the bathroom light was flickering. It looked like my vision could be flickering between two worlds. I was really convinced that I had sleep walked to the bathroom, went, and sleep walked back to bed, to continue dreaming. Did I really wet the bed? Let's find out... (Cliff hanger!!!)

'I know!' I thought. 'There was a party here before. I will go downstairs and get some food.' So I walked and flew down there. My dad was talking to my uncle. "Everyone is off doing their own little party!" he said with some scorn. My Uncle J was there. I remember seeing him for a moment. On the counter, there were rectangular packs of muffins with blue packaging. They had tiny muffins. I grabbed a pack and flew upstairs.

'Wait!' I thought. 'What if I'm really in the physical world, and I just think I'm dreaming?! I would really regret eating this." So, I did a finger palm test.

looking at the back of my left palm, I didn't see a finger poking out. 'Uh oh!' I thought. 'Wait, let me check the other side.' When I looked at the other side, my right pointer finger was buried in my left palm up to the second joint. It just wasn't poking out the other side. 'Interesting,' I thought. 'Never had it happen that way before.'

I continued eating the muffins, just enjoying them. I think I got one or two bites before the dream ended. I guess just relaxing and eating the muffin caused the dream to end, while some degree of stress or action seemed to keep it going? Or maybe it was just time for it to end. I would like the dream to last, even if I do absolutely nothing but sit back and relax and look around.

I remember being in my bed, and staying still, to recall the dreams. I must have still been in the phase because another dream began. In this one, I was watching someone like Beerus sleeping on his special planet. He woke up and saw a giant cloud up above, shaped like a dog's head and body. 'Oh no! I must position my body like the dog's body in the cloud!' he thought, and hurried to copy the posture.

It must have been some kind of ritual. There was a crow like character, coming from the left side of the "screen" with a firey torch. They had a sash around their waist like Beerus shoulder armor, with the stripes. There were lots of torches lit behind them, too.

I woke up from that special bonus episode of the dream marathon and stayed still, thinking of the dreams. My body felt really heavy, and I had no urge to fidget for a while. I couldn't tell if I had wet the bed. When I finally got the urge to stretch a little, I tried to feel around to see if I had wet the bed.

I didn't! What a relief. It was a close call.

Well, I am glad to be done typing those! I have been watching some cartoons lately and I feel inspired to try to make a comic from my dreams. When I recalled my dreams I kind of imagined them as a comic book.

Like usual, I did my outline first, then typed them in full. I am finishing it now right at 10 A M. I am trying to get all the dreams written in full before going off and doing other stuff, just so that my biggest task of the day is completed. After my dreams are written up in full I can kinda relax a little easier.

I find myself with a group others having an argument with guy who believes we were talking about him. I eventually walk away from them and back in to the house. I could hear through my window that they were still yelling at one another. Then all of a sudden the outside became really dark and there was some kind of gold shine coming from where they were all standing.

I could feel a dangerous vibe in the atmosphere and knew I should probably try to go sleep somewhere. That's when I went sitting down around the bottom of my bed and could hear helicopters and gun shots happening around the house. I then got up and could see the house has been broken in to which made no sense to me as so little time has passed. But once I look up from my window and could see from another house a man on the roof holding a sniper aim at me, I knew I was in danger.

I took cover in to the bathroom, I tried to get the door to close but it was not budging quick enough and I knew the sniper had direct aim at this particular area. So I ready myself at the bathtub for who ever dares comes this way. That's when I saw someone walk through. I prepared myself and notice it was a woman with no weapons and she seemed lost. This made no sense to me at all.

I became lucid because of this, all the terror noise stop as the woman eventually melted in to a pool of water. I then found myself in some kind of store with a lot of people walking around. A girl then comes to me and says I look cool and wanted to take a picture. I accept and later walk around in till I woke up.

Morning of June 19, 2019. Tuesday.

I do not usually post generic bathroom wake-up call dreams unless they have unique factors. This one does, as vestibular system correlation seamlessly integrates into it in the last stage of the waking process, which is atypical.

---

I become aware of my need to use a bathroom when I am in public. I enter an unfamiliar public bathroom and notice it is not clean or maintained very well. There are six open toilet stalls, three facing three on opposite sides of the room. One unknown man is sitting on the toilet near the corner. I consider using the one third to the right in the same row, but I decide not to, as the seat is not very clean. I walk around contemplating what I should do as a few other unknown males come and go.

As I am standing just inside the entrance doorway, an unfamiliar short-haired boy of about twelve walks in, looks at the condition of the bathroom, and starts talking to me. I perceive him as a Communist from Eastern Europe who is probably in the region temporarily. He starts making comments about ecology and land features in the region (though I do not know where the setting is implied to be and I do not have a viable memory of my conscious self identity). I walk out with him, deciding that I will have to go home to use the bathroom.

I continue on my own and step off the sidewalk onto muddy ground. I see that I am barefoot. I am carrying my shoes, but when I put them on the ground to put my feet into them, they become very muddy, so I decide not to wear them. My feet sinking into the ground a few inches annoys me. Two unknown young males of about twenty are watching me from the sidewalk. I take a few more steps and the ground remains soft and muddy. I do not really feel like trudging through this.

Finally, I decide to fly home. I lift my arms and rise into the air effortlessly. I start flying toward another building in the distance, about twenty feet above the ground. There are a number of people walking around below. I start to consider how strange it is for so many other people not to fly to their destination, as it is more comfortable and easier than walking.

---

Morning of February 5, 2018. Monday.



I enter an unusual state of faux lucidity, where I have the awareness of what the dream state is and how to create and manipulate dreams, but I do not have my conscious self identity or full realization I am dreaming at the time even as I am creating and manipulating my dream (a bizarre enigma that cannot be resolved in waking life thought, yet which I otherwise experience very often). This is different from states where I am aware of my conscious self at one level, yet do not recall what a dream is, though I am still able to greatly influence dream events and features. This validates that the nature of RAS mediation is not predictable due to the variations of circadian rhythms, as the biological need to wake varies depending on depth of sleep, physical needs, and certain thought processes - many of which are random (for example, threads of something seen on television or material from a book).

I step into the dream state, yet immediately lose conscious self monitoring. I find myself walking through an open area that seems to be a wide street in an unfamiliar city. I am thinking to myself about what time period that I want the dream’s setting to occur in. I think about it being the 1920s, 1930s, or 1940s, and decide I will make it the 1930s.

I watch people walk around, dressed as if they were from the 1930s (although it had been the 1920s before I willed the change). I offer to help an unfamiliar woman (of about fifty) by carrying her package, but she is not interested in me helping her.

Next, I focus on dream state indicators (still without viable awareness that I am dreaming at the time, as this is by residual threads of habit in the lucid dream state since childhood). I find myself in the southwest bedroom of Cubitis (where I have not been since June of 1978). A young version of Zsuzsanna is in the bed, which is aligned along the south wall, head at the southwest corner. I create a radio for her to listen to, but then I am trying to remember if the songs that are playing are from the 1930s or from a much later period, as I do not want to alarm her with inexplicable sounds.

I get distracted and summon a group of dream characters to then look through the door of my room. However, the doorway opens into a landscape instead of my old Cubitis bedroom. I create the essence of a dinosaur in the distance (a typical act in faux lucidity since childhood) and tell the unknown people to watch. The dinosaur eventually appears, but is like a mix of stegosaurus and tyrannosaurus. It moves over the top of a mountain, from right to left in profile (subliminal reinduction attempt), and roars. It is far away at this time and poses no threat.

From here, I go back to the southwest bedroom, but then RAS mediation temporarily increases and I go into the bathroom (and although I do have to use the bathroom in reality, it is not yet that intense a wake-up call), as I am aware the dinosaur is in the house (which makes no sense as it would be too big) and I am now wary of it (even though I had deliberately created it minutes before). I close the door to subliminally avoid the waking activation. I feel soft weight pressing against the door, but I am able to keep it closed. Still, RAS mediation triggers an offset dream of a different level of awareness rather than doorway waking symbolism fully activating.

Entering a different dream state and level of awareness, I then find myself walking with a group of people that I had summoned. Zsuzsanna is present as she is now. We are all walking through an unknown city.

Ahead, and to our right, next to the curb, is an oversized vehicle that resembles a giant stagecoach (more like a stagecoach illogically mixed with a circus train car and doubled in size). It is basically a cage on wheels in the shape of a giant colorful stagecoach. The area behind where the driver would sit is an open area where a lion jumps up and looks down at us. There are other lions in the cage in the bottom area. I am thinking that the lion will jump down near us, but it remains in its location, as something vague in the back of my mind reminds me of subliminal dream manipulation but not directly and not with viable lucidity. This is a bizarre enigma, to subliminally reflect on subliminal (non-lucid) control of the dream state without being viably aware of being in the dream state and yet controlling the dream anyway.

From here, there is an area where people are watching a gorilla walk around. P.T. Barnum is present and showing off the gorilla. There is a cage, and straw covers the street upon where the cage had been placed, but the gorilla is able to leave the cage through the open area. There is no threat however, and the people do not seem that impressed. There is an unknown girl present and I tell her to become part of the scene so that there is an additional ape for the people to view. She does not look like a gorilla of course, but I eventually decide to make her with hair all over. She goes over to the gorilla and P.T. Barnum seems slightly puzzled but somewhat appreciative, even though the girl is not actually a gorilla or acts like one. It seems the public will believe anything, which pleases him. I vaguely remember the Barnum effect, which relates to people who believe in “dream interpretation”. My dream eventually fades with no dominant RAS event. (P.T. Barnum is the personified preconscious in this case, though my dream self already has a thread of emergent consciousness evidenced by my odd state of faux lucidity, so I wake without the need for a strong emotion as the waking alert factor.)

---

For some reason I'm playing Pyramid Cave with Knuckles on my Wii (With a GameCube controller). The stage is essentially a large halo around two bottomless pits. One in the center and one surrounding the outer perimeter of the ring.

I'm gliding around the stage, and this one gust of wind keeps knocking me into the bottomless pit as I attempt to speedrun the stage. I eventually get fed up and hop into a yellow toilet with Knuckles still being in control.

The perspective then changes to first person as I (In my dumb, dreamy state) am holding a GameCube controller in my hand; now controlling Gamma from Sonic Adventure. I'm in a yellow, empty sewage pipe and I'm walking from one side to the other.

After reaching a dead end, I then decide to turn back where I came from. An air of uneasyness bestows upon me as I look around every corner, as if I was imagining something was gonna jump out and scare me. Gamma disappeared at that point and I was there, alone, in the sewer pipe.

I make it to the end of the pipe (Where for some reason there is a broken down toilet inside a stall and an unused sink next to it.

My mom and her 'friend' (Who didn't exist in real life but was just a DC) then open a door. I then breathe a sigh of relief. They start talking to me about something, but I go back out through the door, where the dream then ended.


Notes

1. I seemed to have a dreamlike acknowledgement of the dreamscape. As I feared something would pop out at me because it was a dream and all part of my imagination.

2. The color yellow was very much prevalent in the dream. Everything in the sewer was yellow, except for the one puddle of water I stepped in.

Dream 1: My family and I are at the airport. We have to go to the other part of it...in disguise (?) because of a fire and smoke in the nearby mountains.

We stop to use the restroom. My dad and brother go ahead and use it, but as I'm trying to head to the toilets, this kid who used to bully me in middle school blocks me and starts kicking me, and mocking me. I tried having a normal conversation with him so that he would let me alone, but then he just starts making fun of me again. I had no idea what to do. It was a very powerless feeling and it was awful to have to relive that :/ Thankfully I woke up pretty quickly. No lucidity though.

IRL, this kid was a prick in middle school, but he actually became a really nice guy in high school. It was weird how that worked. I went from hating him to liking him over the course of a year. I did my best to forgive him for what he had done to me in the past. So I have no idea why my subconscious wanted me to experience that again.

Dream 2: I was at a nice restaurant with my (extended) family. We went to dinner at this fancy restaurant inside a mall. But I had to go to the bathroom, and the chef or waiter or whoever I talked to said that there wasn't a bathroom in the restaurant, so I'd have to go next door. Next door was a more casual but still pretty fancy diner with a bar as part of it. I walked past the bar and into the outdoor patio area. At this point, I had completely forgotten about using the bathroom, and went to get a drink of water instead. I sat outside with my water for a while, on a concrete step, next to a single dude on my right and a parent and their toddler-age daughter on the left. (Can't remember if the parent was male or female.) I watched a small little fountain show that they had going on. Water was leaping into the air out of the small fountain; I think it was shaped like a dolphin? Not 100% sure. A Weepinbell was there too for some reason, and it spit bubbles out of its mouth and into the air. The song "Alone I Break" by Korn was playing. When I woke up, the song was still in my head. o_o

Dream 3: Family again. We're going home from a reunion. My dad said that he'd take me to a cool place he was thinking of, but I can't remember where. Before leaving, I start playing with some toys in this outdoor pit (part of our condo). Kaden, a former co-worker of mine, is there for some reason. We dig through this ENORMOUS mess of toys -- like it's about the size of a small house -- and we found a really cool map. This other dude who looked half-white, half-Chinese was there, and he was the one who found the map. Each time you looked at it, the map would change. The first time it had the 50 states, the second time it only had the continental 48, and the third time it had a saying or slogan or something on it in black lettering with a yellow background. Might've flipped it a fourth time; I don't really remember but if we did I believe something new was on there. There was a piece of tape on it, too, with some writing, but I don't recall what it said. We tried to find the brand so that we could buy one ourselves, but we couldn't seem to find it.

IRL the power went out last night for just a few seconds; I can't remember which dreams it was in between but I couldn't remember anything when I woke up then. (The fans went off, so I think that's what woke me up)

Dream 4: Some guy with long blond hair was complaining about how they wouldn't let this one girl who was a missionary use DeviantArt or Facebook or other websites ("they" being the people in charge of her, I think), and I was trying to explain to him that missionaries aren't supposed to use those things anyway at least until they finish.

I don't know why all of these dreams involved bathrooms and my family. And I'm still trying to decide whether to keep describing my dreams in past tense or present tense. But overall it was a night with a lot of vivid memories, so that I am grateful for!

Morning of August 23, 2017. Wednesday.



Considering that I neither smoke nor use drugs (even legal medication), this was a rather impersonal dream on some levels, but with the typical preconscious initiation symbolism as since early childhood.

---

I discover two large marijuana cigarettes in a drawer, which I am aware belong to my older half-brother Dennis. Completely unlike my waking self mentality, I am actually thinking of smoking both of them (though this is about subliminal dream state revivification rather than having any waking life relevance). Still, when Dennis shows up, I pretend that they should be shared with him. Curiously, he says he does not indulge in such acts anymore.

For what seems to be a long time, I stand near the end of the Cubitis driveway near Highway Seventeen. It seems to be late at night. I feel very good. I smoke one of the cigarettes, being clearly aware of the odd way the smoke and fire spreads out from it.

Eventually, a team of at least four men show up during what seems to be the next day. Apparently, they are here to search the house for drugs. The main one, the personified preconscious, whose job is to make me realize I am dreaming and thus should wake (to attend to important biological needs), is a chubby unfamiliar man with a gray beard. My mother is present in some scenes, mostly appearing as she was in the 1970s. I have no recall that she had died in 2002.

In another scene, the men are in a meeting in the house. I find a large box which contains sweet grass in a few different forms as well as several other herbs, some braided. I consider that they might see the plants as illegal drugs but this is not the case. They know it is sweet grass and even discuss how useful it is.

In another scene, the preconscious brings out a tackle box from somewhere. He seems to believe that he may find drugs in it (though the real purpose is obviously to get me to think about fishing, which symbolizes activating neural energies to arise from sleep). This angers me somewhat. Still, when he opens it, there are two large globs of stale cat food, though he does not seem to know what it is at first and expresses disgust. I inform him that it is cat food and that the tackle box had not been opened for many years. (As a cat has been validated to be some sort of “guardian” of liminal space as first determined in dreams when I was about five years old, this suggests I am still subliminally attempting to sustain my dream in unusual ways by having supposedly “hidden the cat food for many years” so as to halt a particular shift in consciousness. There is sometimes a subliminal hypnopompic association as well, based on “cats always land on their feet” to downplay the waking start that often includes a falling sensation of which is biological and has no waking life relevance.)

In one of the last scenes, I decide to go into the bathroom, as I still have a joint in my right pants pocket (though no one has checked me thus far) and I plan to stay in here until they leave (and this is likely an awareness of needing to wake and use the bathroom, but the urge is not yet that dominant). While I am in here, the shadow of the preconscious is cast through a window (which suggests he is closer to coalescing as my emergent consciousness). I stand near a different wall, but I still suspect he is watching me and I start yelling at him about spying on people, telling him I will call the FBI, which he seems to find amusing.

The emergent consciousness factor shifts back into subliminal reinduction as the preconscious is now clearly in view through another window. He comes into the house again and I consider that they may go through every container in the house no matter how long it takes. Before I see the preconscious inside the house again, I go into a room that is similar to our oldest son’s room in the Barolin Street house. I drop the joint down a vertical opening between the wall boards (at about elbow level) oriented to the right of the room on the north wall. The tip is barely visible. Perhaps they will not find it, but it still seems a possibility. (Note that a wall symbolizes real-time divisions of neural energy patterns and the more defined division between levels of consciousness. This validates the basic real-time subliminal theme of this dream.)

Getting tired of the presence of the preconscious (and only knowing what his presence indicates at a subliminal level), I stab him numerous times with a dagger (which validates non-lucid dream control as this is something I would not think about consciously in a real-life situation as such unless my life or a family member’s was directly threatened). There is a lot of blood; so much blood that there seems to be more blood than physical volume of his body. Soon, the other officials enter the room and look down casually at the remains. “Well, that didn’t work,” says one male, “He’s still not awake.”

They perform some sort of ritual to resurrect him. His remains transform into some sort of computer console as from the 1950s though I am aware it is female. The men watch the screen and I see a young version of Zsuzsanna walking around, but what this implies does not fully register. (A computer typically represents increasing neural activity in the waking stage as the unconscious does not possess viable thinking skills). I am not sure if they had intended to change him into a female computer console or not. Maybe it happened randomly, but they do not seem puzzled. They turn dials and study the actions of Zsuzsanna on the monitor. “Neural activity increasing,” says the male watching the console while the other two stand around. There is a list of Hz values on the right, the top one being 22 Hz (supposed intelligence enhancement). (Zsuzsanna was awake at the time in reality and had been walking around in the house.)

Then…I am in an unknown room at a table in a less vivid offset dream, sitting with most of my dream’s characters. I am drinking grape juice and notice that I have “hidden” the joint in the glass. It illogically remains in a vertical position near one side of the glass. (There may be an association with attempting to drink through a paper straw, which always irritated me in real life.) I tell them that I do not really care much about the taste of what I am drinking and my dream fades. (Almost all of us wake up with a strange flavor in our mouths. Your tongue accumulates a series of bacteria stored overnight.)

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