All DJ Entries

fragment
0715: Running in a marathon. One coach suspects another of cheating.

WTF, Incomprehensible Notes
0757: Hulk goes back in time to stop a secret ... dates him. They work for ... deface some paintings with red paint. Then training for war. V for Vendetta. Brad Pitt. Sunglasses. False awakening.

Talking To Girls
0927: In school. It's a military school. I am called to another classroom. Baking cakes. In class. Flirting with Erinne from high school. Then another girl. Sara? Or maybe Erin from college. Talking about going crazy. Erinne sits on a swing set and starts bother me and the other girl who I am now talking with.

More WTF
1049: ... sex with Bridgette. Meet her two brothers. Then want to fight with our cars. So I drive around them and cover the shopping mall car wash food. I am driving a convertible. This is so one-sided. I ask if I can use real bullets.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was near "my car" in the woods. It was almost night. The sky was a dull, dark blue. I was all alone.

I may have been planning to sleep in my car for tonight and, perhaps, for a number of nights. I may not, though, have thought this was the right place to sleep. I may have been planning to drive my car somewhere else.

At some other point I remembered one of my male friends talking about living in some other town. He was complaining about what a boring town it was to live in.

He said, "The thing is, it doesn't have a road that leads directly out of town, up to the mountains. You have to take all these roads that wind around town. It's really hard not to stay stuck in town. And that gets really boring.

"Not like Boston. Boston has a road that leads right out of town! It's easy to get out of town and have fun."

At some point I saw a view of "Boston:" a town at the base of some deep-green mountain range, with its "main road" running along the side of the town and a little bit up the slope of mountains. There may have been houses lining one side of the road.

I thought how I didn't quite agree with my friend. I thought the town I was thinking of sleeping or spending some time in was fine. But I didn't want to disagree with my friend and look uncool (even though my friend wasn't really around, and I was just "remembering" a conversation with him).

I may now have been standing on the outskirts of a pretty big mountain town. I stood in the parking lot of some hotel. The hotel building looked kind of like a restaurant building.

(I've seen a building very much like this, in a space very much like this, in at least one other dream.)

Dream #2

I was in some bookstore. The bookstore was huge and mazelike. After winding my way through a few areas, I found myself at a manga section.

There were two thin, Japanese men shelving some books near the manga section. They both had a mild intellectual look, with casual, short haircuts, big eyeglasses, and nice, button-up shirts. They spoke back and forth with each other in Japanese.

I didn't want the guys to think I was just another American who only knew about Japanese culture through manga and j-pop. But I was also really curious about what manga the store had. In particular, I was looking for a copy of Tezuka's Phoenix series.

When I got over to the manga shelves, I heard the men laugh back and forth with each other. I "understood" their Japanese. They were basically saying exactly what I didn't want them to think about me. I got ashamed and thought I would leave the section. But I figured if I was already here, I might as well stay.

But I got bored pretty quick. It was all a lot of new manga. I had been looking for some really old, classic manga. Some of this stuff didn't even look like manga. It looked like airbrushed versions of American comic books with medieval European themes. Some of the books were tall, thin paperbacks with really glossy covers.

I had a nap this afternoon to give me more chances of becoming lucid

I was with school friends. I wish I remembered why, because I would have become lucid. IRL I've found that I'm out of the house more often at night.

So I'm in the car with my friend Simon, he's driving, even though he's only a learner at the moment IRL. The dream was set 3 hours after I was dreaming it, so it was Monday night with school in the morning. I was expecting to be taken home, but he drove past my turn off. He said "Let's just crash at my sister's place. Her husband will be there." his sister is 19 lol

The road was very similar to where we should have been IRL.

I said I'll call my dad to make sure it's okay, but as I got my phone out, I dreamt that I woke up.

In my FA, I immediately tried to call Simon to ask whether he just had the same dream. I could see that he was doing the same, somehow.

Then I slowly woke up for real, and didn't move because I believed he was still trying to call me and that my phone would ring.

Then I snapped out of it and called him, he said he was in a car coming back from the shops. He wasn't driving.

I will update after speaking to him tomorrow.

12/5/10 - Book of Spells
Dream Non-dream Lucid

I remember a fragment where I thought I'd met a member of the Dream Sharing team, but no matter how hard I try I can't remember what happened. Grr.

There was another dream, or maybe part of the same dream, where I was at my old school's playground with my mom. We were trying to infiltrate the school for some reason. My mom had some sort of magic powers, and was going to disguise me as a 4-year-old so that I could sneak in as a pre-kindergartener. On the other side of the playground was the pre-k class that I was supposed to sneak in with.
My mom opened a huge, old book of spells. She held her hands out toward me and said some spell that I think was in English but I don't remember the words to.
I felt myself shrink and change into an adorable little 4-year-old girl. I looked up at my mom, who was grinning like an idiot. "I'm guessing it worked?" I said.
She picked me up and hugged me. "You are SO cute!" she told me.
"Uh, okay, can't breathe here!" I spluttered, and she put me back down.
"Sorry," she said, still grinning. She said something about remembering the plan and left with that.
I made my way over to a group of little girls. They were crying about something so I figured, what the heck, might be easier to blend in this way. I sat in the middle of the group and turned on the waterworks.
There was a teacher watching the class, but she ignored us crying children. How nice.
I don't remember what happened after that.

I was at my house, chillin in the living room. My mom walks in with her spellbook. I'm in a a state of half-4-year-old, half normal self, so I kinda look like a babyish teenager with a squeaky voice. My mom smiles at me. "Good job earlier. You still look cute."
I just shrug my shoulders, grumpy because of the state I was in.
My mom hands her book to me. "Here. I put a spell on it, so it will grant all of your wishes." She just kinda disappears after that.
All of my wishes? That's odd; My mom wouldn't normally give me so much freedom. Whatever.
I went into my mom's dressing room, sat down, and opened the book.
"I wish to look normal again," I said aloud.
"Is that your one wish?" asked the book, in a creepy fortune-teller woman's voice.
"Wait, only one wish?"
"Yes."
"Ok then, that's not my wish, since this'll wear off soon anyway..." I thought for a minute. "Could I wish to be all-powerful?"
"Of course," said the book.
"Alright then, I wish to be all-powerful," I told it.
"Your wish has been granted."
Immediately I was returned to my normal form.
I looked over at a lamp and pointed at it, willing it to change forms. Nothing hapoened.
I asked the book what the deal was.
"By gaining all power, you have also taken the wishes from all others."
Whatever that means.
I looked at the book and the page was like a touch screen, with a list of names with wishes on it and two buttons next to each: "Grant" and "Ignore." I saw one person that wanted some kind of superpower, and picked "Grant."
Because of this, I was now able to use my powers.
I don't remember what happened, though.

There's another bit of a dream that I remember.
Me and my dad were on the edge of the highway with another car. We and the people from that car were all standing around with a bunch of bags and stuffed animals. My dad loaded the stuffed animals into the back of our car, and the other people loaded the suitcases into their own car. I sat in the passenger seat to wait. My dad got in the car and started driving away all of a sudden. I yelled at him wondering what the heck he was doing; Half of our stuff hadn't been packed and the trunk was open so that everything in it was falling out. I insisted he turn around.
I woke up after that.

Last night, I remember waking up post-sleep cycle and thinking, Man, that dream was awesome. I don't wanna sit up and write it down, though. I already stayed up too late and am not going to get enough sleep tonight. I'll do it in the morning. And, of course, now I don't remember what that awesome dream was about I really need to start going to bed earlier and writing dreams down as soon as I wake up from them again. Since I couldn't remember that one, I decided to enjoy some time thinking about dreams by spending the morning getting caught up on DJ entries from the past two weeks that were still only in handwritten-note form, and now I'm all caught up.

Awake, Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

Night of November 26-27

[Fragment] I'm listening to one of Guy's lectures in person and/or via cell phone.

My parents have remodeled our kitchen. The color scheme is the same as before [the same as it currently is in reality], but the stove and the sink have switched places. [Also, the layout is totally different from how it is in reality.] My mom and I are in the kitchen, making tea and coffee. I look through a canister of little packets of coffee and tea for something I like.

[Longer dream begins here] I'm driving down a street in my mom's car, with the top down. [My mom's car isn't a convertible in real life.] I'm in an old residential neighborhood that's apparently somewhere in the UK. Throughout the rest of this dream, all the environments are incredibly detailed and realistic. I turn around and drive back up the street and through an open gate in a stone wall, into the old center of town, which I explore on foot. The plaza is made of stone. There's a castle on the right and a bell/clock tower on the left.

I take the train to get up to the next town. The train car is full of old, plush couches and seats. An old man on the train starts telling a story. Looking out the window, I see fields, trees, a sign that says something like “You are now leaving (town name),” and a train on another track that looks just like the commuter trains I'm used to here in the US.

The train reaches its destination. I remember visiting this town once before. The train station there is inside an enormous hangar complex, which is also an airplane museum. Several small, old airplanes are on display. There are a fairly large number of people there playing tourist, but it's not crowded. There are also several restaurants in the complex, including a pub and a taco place. I think of getting something to eat, but I know I have no cash on me, and I worry that my credit cards won't work.

Night of November 27-28

I drive through the mountains and enter something that appears at first to be a half-underwater base, but later turns out to be a big ship, by going through an underwater airlock. There are lots of other people on the ship. There's a storm going on; big, pretty snowflakes are falling, and big chunks of ice are falling from the mountains onto the ship and into the water around it. We can't sail out in this storm, so we'll have to spend the night on board. I see Tracy F., who is in charge of the ship and all the people on it, bustling about on the deck of the ship. Either I or somebody else [I don't remember] says, “Poor Tracy's so busy she hasn't even had time to notice the storm, much less make an announcement.” There are bathrooms on board; I absentmindedly wander into the men's bathroom, which gets me some weird looks.

I'm at M.V. High School to watch an athletic meet. I've left campus, so I have to sneak back onto it by hopping over a gate in a fence. I have a shopping cart, but I abandon it somewhere. I explain to some sort of security officer what I'm doing on campus. I also meet a big, omnivorous alien that I recognize in the dream as belonging to one of the Siglerverse alien species [but who doesn't look anything like any of them], who tells me a story about something.

I don't remember the beginning of the dream, but the first thing I DO remember is saying to LostInLA "Okay, I'm going to wake up now." Suddenly everyone around us stopped and stared for a while suddenly turned towards us and started to come after us both.

I presume it was because they think that if I wake up, they will all die.

We were being chased through a kind of miniature city, as in a previous dream. Eventually we got to a balcony. It was cloudy and overcast, raining, and about 5 in the afternoon because it was half-dark.

I was cornered against the railing while my friend ran off another direction. 20 metres (65 feet) below me was a carpark, so I jumped off and tried to land on a car, instead hitting the ground, hard.

I thought "Wow I should be dead," feeling all broken etc. The car I was facing had a silhouette of the driver's seat, but then it changed into a person and so I threw a nearby glass bottle at the window, quickly stood up, and saw a car drive up to me. The car was covered in advertisements for Xbox Kinect and was bright green and pink, compared to the gloomy grey everywhere else.

I got in and LostInLA was in the back. I don't know who the driver was, but we drove away. There was conversation, but I don't remember what was said. Something like "Where can we go? The whole world is gone!"

We turned down a small street which turned out to be a dead end. It was a place where you can launch a boat into the water. In a previous dream, we had driven over this water in a car, because we were going fast enough, and there were no zombies lol. I said "The water is too rough to drive over," and suddenly there was a possessed baby in front of the car, so we started to drive to the left, there the dead end extended to...
And then I woke up D=

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, Commentary made while awake

I'm at Disneyland, in a large, covered outdoor amphitheater, watching a new stage show that consists of Sorcerer Mickey waving an oversized magician's wand around (the black, cylindrical kind with white tips on both ends). Mini-fireworks, red foil streamers, and red confetti shoot out of the end of the wand in turn while the “Fantasmic!” theme music plays. [The part of the music that played in my dream starts at 1:41.] [I don't think I've ever heard an existing piece of music that clearly in a dream before. Awesome!] A few minutes into the show, the wand stops working. Looking between the seats and the other guests at the floor where Mickey is standing, I can see that there's an extra wand there, waiting to be picked up and used if needed. There's also an entire bundle of replacement wands descending from the ceiling in some sort of holder. The show stalls while a replacement wand is selected. While the show is on hold, Cast Members start giving out free stuff by passing it around through the audience. One of the things that gets passed to me is a small basket full of pin-on plastic name tags that are shaped like, and designed to look like, license plates from Cars. They all have different organization names and titles printed at the top and bottom of the name tag, surrounding a blank space to write your name in. I read each one, looking for the one I like best [I could read them in the dream, but I don't remember what any of them said now], so it takes me forever to choose one.

Dreamskip. I'm in an elevated, landscaped parking lot to the west of my high school campus. I can see the brown car, and I'm walking toward it. I realize that I'm dreaming and decide to get to my car by flying, instead of just walking. I try to take off by kicking off the ground and jumping up at the same time, but it doesn't work very well. The move takes me a lot higher than it would have in reality, maybe a couple feet off the ground, but I jump up and then float right back down again in a symmetrical, parabolic arc. [I don't remember how I did it, but] Somehow, I end up flying. I say, “Screw the car. I'm going to fly.”

I'm flying over the west side of the high school campus, but am now facing toward the center of campus rather than away from it. The view is panoramic and beautiful from up there. However, I find myself only flying sideways and backwards. I can feel myself being pulled in those directions through the air. Why am I not going forward, over the campus? That's the direction I want to go, but apparently, I can't. I don't understand this. I think, “There's going to be a wall behind me for me to kick off of and start flying forward.” The next moment, there is one. I'm being pulled backwards through the air until I feel my feet hit the wall, which stops me. I kick off the wall, propelling myself forward. I fly forward for a little way, but I still find it difficult to do. I end up getting pulled sideways again.

[I think some other stuff happened at this point, but I don't remember it now.]

I wake up and I'm lying down outside somewhere. It looks like a park. It's bright and sunny there. There is a cartoon dog looking at me, dressed up in a Halloween costume to look like some other kind of animal. I say hello to it, calmly and happily. Then it dawns on me, Oh, this is a false awakening. I'm still dreaming. I'm going to wake up for real soon. Then I did wake up for real.

---------------------
Side notes:

Last night, I listened to the first 15 minutes of the Subliminal Lucid 3.0 mp3 as I was getting ready for bed and going to sleep, while doing MILD affirmations at the same time. I also had my cardboard-square wristband on my right wrist. I did not listen to the binaural beats file at all. Therefore, I can conclude that the binaural beats file is not a necessity for me to have a lucid dream. I'm pretty sure that the most important factor is the focused affirmations and the desire to have one.

I'm pleased to see that I still have my previously-discovered ability to make things happen or appear in dreams by quietly, passively expecting them to happen or appear. I'm a little disappointed that I didn't have better control over my own flying, but admittedly, I am out of practice. I actually have a large backlog of handwritten notes on my dreams that I haven't had time to type up and put into my dream journal. I'll get around to it when I can.

Disneyland

Drempt that I was supposed to go to Disneyland for Maggie's birthday on a bus. It was my birthday present and I was really excited about it. My mom also told me she would buy me a fake id for my birthday present so I was like yeaa yeaaaaa. My friend caled me and asked if id pick em up on the way I said yea but never did. I was at my house with my friend Colin and we werers bullshting around talking playing video games. Then a bus pulls in to my bakyard and they asked if I was coming to disneyland. I told em to wait up then I went and took a nap. When I woke up from a dream less sleep the bus was still there and I laughed but felt bad about how long I was maken them wait. It was like three in the morning and then I got ready to leave. I grabed my stuff went outside and My friend matt left outside I said to wait up cuz I need my kid cudi cd player and new album to listen to on the ride. I grabed batteries and when I left their was no longer any bus just shelly in the car. She drove me to the bust they pulled over and I got on and said whats up to everyone. We drove the bus through some large gaming where house for some reason where games were made. Iw as like wtf y is this place so secretive. I saw how they made games. A rainbow light was shined from the webcam of an oldschool 90s computer that hit the disc and made the video game. I woke up soon after and tried to dream about getting to disneyland and half assed it but woke up never reaching disneyland.ahhh

Written up due to similarities to this dream which occurred on the same night.

17.11.2010

Possessions (DILD)

★★☆☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Speeding down the road, I sit in the back seat of my mother's red Mazda 5, a box of newly purchased nick-knacks on the floor in front of me. Rummaging through them, I recall their origins. This small, black, flame-decalled hot-rod for instance, and this other model, were both made and painted by some of the best urban artisans in the craft. I watch apathetically as they slide across the floor to other side of the car.

That's when I notice the both side doors are slightly ajar.

They're going to fly open, I just know it. . .

WHOOOSH!

The front side-passenger door opens widely, while the rear door flies backwards, opening the cabin to the rushing, pulling, wind. In an instant, my box is gone, tossed to the side of the road by the currents of air. In the midst of this turmoil, the front door rips away from the car, tumbling wildly as it goes.

But I'm more worried about my possessions. My mother has no intent on turning back, I know, as she trudges onward, ignoring the speed limit. I guilt her with this, before realizing:

”It's a good thing this is a dream. Now I can reverse time and close the doors before any of this even happens.” As I said it, I envisioned it in my mind's eye, oblivious to the fact my mother was turning around—until the g-force from turn hit me as the rubber tires screeched and burned, drifting with the weight of the car. “Or you could just turn around.” I say snarkily. . .

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm at the camp I went to as a kid [Not the one mentioned in the catchup post below, another one] with my dad. The lodge is a Marie Callender's [Cool!], and we're going out to dinner there. We get a table and order coffee and cookies. Mom is already there and tells us to come over and join her at her table. She's mad at us for not seeing her when we came in, or looking for her in the crowd. Dad and I get up and move to her table, bringing our coffee and cookies with us.

While we're in the restaurant [I think], I start looking back at old pictures of myself on various camping trips. One of them is of my and several of my Literacy AmeriCorps friends, including Laya, Jen, and Chelisa. The oldest picture is from junior high school. It's a big, panoramic picture with lots and lots of kids and their camp counselors in it. I'm near the far right, next to Erica. [She didn't even go to my junior high.] Those of us who are on that side of the picture are standing near the grassy edge of a cliff; one of the boys on in the picture is pretending to be about to step off.

I wake up in my current bed. I try several times to turn on the lamp next to it, but the bulb just flickers and sputters every time I try. I turn the knob until the flickering stops, tighten the bulb in its socket, then try again. Still nothing. I go out into the hall to look at the digital clock on one of our cable boxes, to see what time it is. It says 7:39, which disappoints me. Aw, man! It's time to get up, I think. Then I look again and see that I made a mistake: it's only 2:39. So, I get my notepad and start taking notes on the dream I just had.

...And then I woke up for real. This time, I remembered to do the nose-pinch RC. I was very annoyed with myself for not doing any RCs before and not catching the FA, especially when I realized that I had missed not one, but two of the classic dream signs, one right after another. My mind is great at giving me clues that I'm dreaming; I'm just oblivious.

After that, it seems to take me a really long time to get back to sleep. While I'm trying to do so, I think, Oh, crap, I can't talk to Cj on the phone tomorrow at 9, because that's when I'm meeting with Frank. I get up, take my laptop into the study, and sleepily start writing her an e-mail explaining that we'll have to postpone our date to talk on the phone because I have a conflicting appointment. I'm working in Yahoo! Mail [which is what I use for my main e-mail account in reality], and press Send. Suddenly, annoying, circus-y music starts to play out of the computer's speakers, and the screen is filled with a weird, old, basic HTML page with a colored background. The page appears to scroll down automatically. One of the first things to appear on it is a single sentence of text that contains my name. This is what makes me realize what's going on: I've stupidly allowed my Yahoo password to get phished by entering it into a fake website, and now my laptop has a virus. I let out a long string of curse words (actually, the same curse word repeated many times). Windows starts scanning my computer, trying to fight the virus.

Mom and P. are coming home. According to the digital clocks on the cable boxes, it's 12:02 A.M. Leaving my laptop on the floor of the study, I go outside to the street to meet them. They're coming home in a red VW New Beetle (where did they get that? I wonder silently), which they're parking on the curb across the street from our house, because our two regular cars [the ones we own in reality] are taking up both spaces in the garage. I come over to greet them as they're getting out of the car. As we walk back toward the house, I look at the side yard and see that there's a bamboo tree that sort of looks like a fountain there. Ooh, that's pretty! I think. P. goes back to put some more CDs in the New Beetle. [Neither it nor the bamboo tree exist in reality, of course, but I didn't realize that anything was strange until after I woke up. :/ ]

I woke up for real at 5:00 and took down more notes. I realized in hindsight that it hadn't actually taken me as long to fall asleep as I had thought; at least part of the process, and everything after that, had been a dream. I didn't actually have any such appointment with Cj, anyway. I was amazed at how completely and totally this dream had convinced me that I was in reality.

I'm indoors somewhere, and I'm wearing a cowboy hat. I look behind me and see my friend D.W. there, riding in a wheelchair. I think, Oh, good, she got a wheelchair. I feel the cowboy hat on my head and think, Oh, yeah, this is a dream. I can feel the by-now-familiar sensation of lucid-dream consciousness. I open my dream self's eyes and look very briefly at my hands, which appear normal, then up at my indoor surroundings. To engage more fully with my dream self and its sense of touch, I reach up to touch the brim of the cowboy hat with both hands, then take it off. I'm sitting in something [possibly another wheelchair, but I don't see it, so I'm not sure]. I stand up and try to turn around and talk to D.W., but just then, I heard my mom talking out in the entryway, which took my attention away from the dream, which instantaneously kicked me back into reality.

----------------------
Side notes:
I should choose my MILD affirmations with more care. The ones I focused on the most this past night were “I am self-aware and in control in my dreams” and “I bring clarity, lucidity, and stability into my dreams.” These backfired rather spectacularly in my second dream of the night. It was perfectly clear and stable, and, as far as I could tell, I was just as self-aware and in control of my own actions as I am in reality. And yet, I never realized that I was dreaming. I focused on that aspect more as I was trying to get back to sleep after 5:00, and it worked, if only briefly.

[This is a catch-up journal entry. This dream is from the night of November 6-7.]

[Fragments] Something involving making a delivery of some kind using my car. I remember wondering where my car keys were just as I was waking up from the dream. I also remember riding my old, green GT bike in the rain.

IHOP and Denny's are having a TV commercial war. I'm watching a series of commercials for the two chains, one after the other. One of them [I'm not sure which restaurant it was for] focuses on the repetition of the phrase, “Accurate fries, accurate donuts,” accompanied by images of the two items. It means that when you order fries or mini-donuts as a side item there, they always serve you the correct amount. Later, I'm at Denny's with my mom.

I'm riding in a car, passing by the fields of a local high school. I can see their marching band rehearsing, in their uniforms. Some marching band members from my own high school are there, too, also in their uniforms and rehearsing in a block.

I'm walking through the hallways of an unidentified high school. A female student is there, loudly crowing away about something political. The TV monitors mounted in the hallway are showing political advertisements. There's one pro-Whitman, anti-Brown ad that ends with the spoken line, “Last chance to come together, California.”

I'm in a UCSB dorm room, thinking to myself: What's the date today? April 9? 2 months. Meaning, in two months, I will be graduating and leaving the university forever. I think about how hard I'm going to cry when I have to pack up the contents of this room and leave it for the last time. I remember [or maybe I just inferred this after having woken up, I'm not sure] that I went to Kentucky during fall quarter, then returned to UCSB for the winter and spring quarters to finish up the last of my studies. [As opposed to real life, where it was spring quarter that I missed to go to Kentucky.] My roommate Sarah M. is in the room. I have to be on my way and go to math class without my math homework completed, because I've been goofing off all weekend.

A group of Chinese international students and teachers come into the dorm room. One of the female teachers notices a magnet I have as a decoration. The magnet has five Chinese characters on it. She reads them aloud, in Chinese, but stumbles over the last one, giving two different possible readings for it. As she puzzles over the characters, I say to her, in Japanese, “Imi mo nai na no da.” [Translation: “They don't even mean anything.”] I know this to be the case because I know that this particular string of characters came from Hanzi Smatter. The female teacher understands what I said, and agrees with me. She and the other teachers and international students then start a conversation, all in Japanese. When they ask me a question in Japanese, my reaction is, “Oh, God, now I've started it!” I'm nervous and self-conscious because I haven't spoken any Japanese in a long time. It takes me a second, but I manage to formulate an answer to the question in perfectly good Japanese. [I don't remember what the question and answer were, but I do remember that] At some point during the conversation, I say something like, “Kono kanji wa imi ga nai to itte kumatta desu.” I know what I mean when I say it, which is, “I heard that these kanji don't mean anything.” [But I know perfectly well that those aren't the proper Japanese words for “I heard that...” There goes dream!Japanese being weird again.] [Also, what I meant is that they don't mean anything as a phrase. Most likely they mean something individually, or else the teacher wouldn't have been able to identify readings for them.]

[Not sure if this one is in the correct chronological order.] I'm with my church choir, and we're singing a pretty Advent hymn. [I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist in reality, yet. I managed to record six notes onto my phone when I woke up, and someday I plan to compose it.]

I'm driving up toward UCSB with my parents. We see Dale C. performing live on the side of the road, by the exit off Highway 217 that leads to the airport. He's singing and playing the bongos.

I'm reading a little cloth book that Dale wrote about his music career. In the book, he says that he was more excited about the full-time income he would earn from being a musician than any other aspect of the career. This makes me think less of him.

I enter an unfamiliar house to get something. P. is there, and there is an unknown woman sleeping in the back room.

(Good morning, everybody. This is a really long entry. Sorry.

I remember three dreams from last night. The first two dreams happened sometime between midnight and 5 AM. The third dream was between about 5:30 AM and 7 AM.

I became lucid in the third dream, and sustained my lucidity for quite a while. But I think it was mainly because I “conserved my energy” and didn’t really try anything out of my normal range of dream-activity.)

Dream #1

I was coming back to “my apartment.” I was walking through a building that itself was as big as a small neighborhood. I walked through one area, a huge room with tall ceilings and wood walls.

As I walked through the area, I went past a young man and woman who were possibly standing outside the door to the woman’s apartment. The door may have been pale blue.

The woman was very pretty, with copper-colored skin and long, straight, black hair. The man was handsome, white, tall, with blonde hair about down to his shoulders. He wore a grey, wool cap and some winter clothes.

The man was telling the woman that he would make sure her move went smoothly. She was apparently moving to another place, and she was nervous about it. I gathered, from the man’s speech to the woman, that the man would make sure she didn’t experience the same harassment she’d experienced at her present apartment.

But as I was walking past the couple (I didn’t actually get very close to them, and I had to exit via another door into another room in order to get to “my building”), the man and woman expressed some kind of concern that I was going to get them in trouble. It was as if, as well as the woman experiencing harassment from some group of people, the man and the woman had themselves been accused of causing trouble in their neighborhood. They thought I was the kind of person who would get them in trouble again.

I walked softly and quickly through the door, trying my best to give an impression to the man and woman that I was nice, that I wouldn’t harass the woman, and that I wouldn’t get the man and woman in trouble – in other words, that I would just mind my own business.

I walked into the next area, which was like a mix between some completely forgotten room or corridor in an enormous mansion and a back alley. A light shone from high above, and at the heights of the room, it was dark as night, though it was light enough near the floor. The walls were wood, and the floor had a pale, blue-grey carpeting. But there was junk everywhere, like tattered cardboard boxes, wadded up pieces of wrapping plastic, and other garbage. There seemed to be turns and staircases here and there, leading up to other “apartment buildings.”

I walked toward my building, which didn’t even have a front door, just a staircase leading up to a winding ramp into darkness. My landlord, an older, black man or woman, stood at the top of or on one of the curves in the ramp. He/she apparently knew I was coming home, so he/she was waiting to welcome me back. I may have been away for a few days, doing something like visiting my family.

I didn’t realize, but the young man had followed me all the way here. My “building,” it turned out, was the building that the young woman would be staying in. I thought that for sure the man would now be panicked. He and the woman had been so afraid to begin with that I would get them in trouble. And now it looked like I had “reverse followed” him all the way to the woman’s new residence.

I tried to act natural and cool, to make the man understand I wasn’t going to do anything mean to him or the woman. I spoke a little bit with the landlord, in a kind of easy, happy tone. I then said I was going to head on in to my room and get a little rest.

As I headed toward my room, through a door along a dim balcony facing at an odd angle to the ramps and the long alley-corridor, I heard the landlord now speaking with the young man. I thought, Why not prove that I’m a good guy, and let the young man see inside my room? Once he sees how lived-in my place is, he’ll know I’ve been here a few years, I’m a decent guy, and that I won’t do anything rude or mean to the woman or him?

So I called attention to the landlord and the young man. I had them come over to my room. I opened the door to my room. The room was humongous and dim. But I could tell, just by glancing inside, that the room was a complete mess – a disaster! Plus, the place just let out a horrendous smell, like tons and tons of socks that hadn’t been washed for months!

I quickly closed the door and told the landlord and young man nevermind, that I must have forgotten what I wanted to tell them. They walked away, kind of disappeared.

I suddenly felt suspicious of the young man. I felt that, now that he’d seen even just a little into my room, and he’d seen where I live, that he’d try to break into my room. I closed my door. I walked slowly away, as if I was trying to put on some kind of show that I didn’t really live in this apartment.

I suddenly recognized that, just beyond my door, the wall to my room only went up to about the middle of my chest. You could see inside the room just by standing out on the balcony. I looked inside, hoping that nothing of value would be easily spotted, prompting the young man to break into my house and steal things.

All I could see, though, anywhere, was a bunch of clutter and garbage. I felt like there was no way I could have left my place this way when I’d left. Had I been that neglectful of things? Or had I been gone so long that my place just kind of dissolved into these shambles of itself?

I walked around the corner of the balcony, now facing some dim corner of the alley-corridor directly, but still having a good view into my room.

Down below, in my room, I saw a huge, pale-blue, L-shaped couch. It was completely torn up. The stuffing of the couch was bloating out of the cushions, and a black, metal frame jutted out the edges.

Suddenly, my mother burst out from the inside of the couch. She scrambled out of the couch cushions. She then rabidly twitched and scratched against the couch, tearing it even more to pieces. She looked terrible, like she’d become some kind of wild animal.

I was terrified by this. But I quickly became indignant. Who had allowed my mother into my apartment? I ran down the balcony to find someone to complain to.

I ended up on some dark hilltop, under a small tree. It was pitch black night, but I could see, as if a car from somewhere were shining its lights on the scene. There were a few people wandering around, possibly Hispanic.

I found my father, who was almost cartoonishly wide. He was also dressed somewhat like a clown, in red clothes with pink and orange polka-dots. He may even have worn a clown-nose.

I yelled at my dad, “Why did you let my mom into my apartment?”

My dad gave me some kind of excuse that sounded half-hearted but official, so that I couldn’t really argue against it.

Dream #2

I was in a subway station, waiting for the train to come. I was in a far-off, unfamiliar neighborhood, and I had been doing some kind of activity that made me tired and ready to go back somewhere familiar.

The subway station was more like the lobby for a building like a hospital. I sat at a table in an area that looked like a makeshift café. The serving counter may have been in a small room, off to my right. Behind me, there may have been the main lobby area, large and bright, with a lot of sunlight flowing through the window-walls.

To my left was a wide doorway, through which I could see one subway platform. Through a kind of dim, plasticky window at the opposite end of the room and in front of me, I could see another subway platform.

I pulled out a book, crossed my legs, slumped in my chair, and started reading. A couple of teenage boys sat down a couple of tables away from me. They were making jokes with each other, pretty relaxed. They seemed cool. But for some reason, I didn’t want them to notice me. I thought they might start trouble.

Suddenly I could see, from some kind of reflection, that the train on the platform to my left was coming. It seemed to be coming without warning and very quickly. In a rush, the boys and I stood up from our tables and ran to the platform.

But I didn’t want the boys to know I got on this train. I felt that if they knew this about me they could hurt me somehow. So I tried to act like I wasn’t getting onto this train.

But when I got out to the platform (which was huge, wide, with tall ceilings, nothing like in NYC), the train wasn’t there. I heard the rushing of a train to my left. I looked and saw, down the platform, and up at the top of a tall staircase, a different train arriving at another platform. Was it just that train I’d heard? But I could have sworn I’d seen the train arrive on this platform, as well as heard it.

I looked down into the well for the train and tracks for my platform – and was terribly shocked! Instead of tracks, the floor was completely empty, trackless, and painted a bright yellow. There were no tracks! No train could ever have arrived here! But I was sure this was where the train was supposed to be – where I had actually seen it arrive!

I felt terribly foggy all of the sudden, as if I had fallen into a different world.

I heard the train on the second platform, off to my right, arriving. I thought I’d take that train. But I knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere close to where I wanted to go. I knew I’d just have to take this train, at this platform, whenever it came, no matter how long it took.

So I went back into the café area to go back to reading my book.

Dream #3

I was in my great-grandmother’s house. I had apparently been there for a long time. The place looked nothing like it had looked while my great-grandmother was alive: it was dim, grey-blue, and strewn garbage, household items, and even streams of toilet paper.

I walked around in the kitchen and dining room, possibly picking up and eating and drinking pieces of food and drink that had been left out for a long time on dirty plates and in dirty, grimy cups. There may also have been dirty, rusty knives, or something like that, somewhere.

I walked back into the living room. I felt like I had isolated myself in my great-grandmother’s house for so long. It had been days. Here I’d been, back home all this time, and I hadn’t visited my mother once!

I thought I’d give her a call and let her know I was at my great-grandma’s house, and that she could come visit me or maybe even pick me up so we could go somewhere to visit with each other. But I hesitated – I now felt so guilty having neglected my mother for all these days, that I knew just calling her would cause me a lot of heart-breaking pain.

I was suddenly in “my bedroom” at “my house.” The room was clean, a little barren. Nice sunlight flowed in through the window. It was cheerful enough. But it felt somehow lonely – not just lonely, but sterile, padded.

Something about this feeling made me realize I was dreaming. I realized I was now lucid. I told myself to keep calm and just go exploring this place as if it were a real environment.

(Oddly enough, when I became lucid, I may have “transformed” into a tallish, white, young man with tanned skin, blue eyes, and short-shaved, blonde hair. I have no idea why.)

I walked out of the bedroom and into “my living room.” I was in a suburban house. The house looked small and nice. But it was completely empty. It had thick, brown carpet.

I walked very slowly, to keep my emotions calm. I was heading for the front door. This was a kind of challenge for me, and I knew (even in my dream-state), that I had to keep calm in order to do this. I knew, I remembered (the truth, not a false memory – I mean, insofar as etc., etc.) that when I’d become lucid indoors in the past, my lucidity would end as soon as I walked outside, as if I hadn’t believed my imagination could “create” an outdoor space.

I got to the door. It had a strange bolt-lock on it, which I thought was kind of over-doing things. I worked the lock out and pulled open the door.

It was a bright, sunshiny day in a suburban neighborhood. I told myself to remain calm, remember this was all a dream, and just explore the place like it was a real environment.

My front yard was a tangle of flowery vegetation and rough, dark shrubs. There was a driveway off to my right, with a big, brown, 1970s-style car.

A blonde man, very tan, with a long tangle of hair and beard, was messing around near “my car.” He looked crazy, and I was afraid of him. But I was also pissed that he was messing around my car. So I yelled at him, “Hey! Hey! What are you doing?”

The crazy man hunched up (he never really stood) and turned toward me. He shouted and growled and barked all kinds of weird things at me and started rambling toward me violently. For some reason, he was holding a Panini and a paper plate in his hands, as if he had been eating a Panini when he’d seen my car and decided to vandalize it or rip it off.

It seemed as if the crazy man were going to try to invade my home. So I yelled at him, “Don’t you come near!”

The neighbor from the house to my left, an Asian man, in his late 30s or early 40s, wearing glasses, a pink-red polo shirt, and khaki shorts, walked out of his house and into my yard. He’d heard the commotion and was coming to help me.

I yelled again at the crazy man to back off and not to come anywhere near my home. But I also tried to make it seem to my neighbor like I had the situation under control. I felt like this crazy man was somehow important to whatever I was supposed to learn from this lucid dream. So I had to keep him at a distance without scaring him away entirely. I also wanted to make sure my neighbor didn’t scare away the crazy man.

Off to my right, in my garden, I saw a strange plant that looked like a Cleome topped with a cabbage. The cabbage was pink and white, like Cleome flowers.

Somehow, either my yelling my neighbor’s yelling had finally scared away the crazy man. He ran off. I, and possibly my neighbor, ran after him.

He ran down toward a chain link fence that ran along the crest of a kind of tall, kind of steep, cliff-like hill. I was calling to the crazy man to stop. I wasn’t trying to do him harm. But my neighbor was running faster than me, and he was chasing the crazy man quite violently.

The crazy man found a bent-up part of chain-link fence and crawled under it. I followed. I saw the crazy man run down the steep, brown hill-face, jumping into a shallow, muddy river or creek at the bottom.

My neighbor was still ahead of me, intent on capturing the crazy man. But once the crazy man was in the water, he did something to himself so that my neighbor could no longer see him. He had changed his wild, blonde hair into a weird, pink, green, and white, spiky flower style, looking like a hairdo-mix of a Cleome and a lotus. He ducked down low in the creek so that only his head was above water.

But I could still see that it was the crazy man. I wondered why my neighbor couldn’t. Nothing was different about the crazy man’s face: it was just his hair that looked like a lotus floating on the water.

I could see that the crazy man was drifting toward a group of copper-skinned, black haired children who were playing and splashing about near the creek’s banks. I thought that it might be a good idea to get the crazy man away from the children. He had gone over to them to blend in with them until we left. But I had a feeling that if he suddenly went crazy again, he could hurt the kids.

But now the crazy man and my neighbor were gone. I stood in some rocky area, looking down to the kids playing in the creek. At some point I looked over to my right and saw that there was a subway station, just jutting in a platform out of the hill, as if it were half-finished, forgotten. But it also looked new, clean, modern, even futuristic. And it was functional.

I saw some kids, maybe pre-teen or teenage, playing around near the platform, waiting for the train. I was up near the top of the hill now (which, instead of being muddy or earthy, was now rocky). I was at a pretty level view with the platform and with the kids. I hoped they wouldn’t notice me, because I didn’t want them to start trouble with me.

My emotions got so unstable that I felt my lucidity fading away.

But instead of the dream continuing, not lucid, everything blacked out. I told myself, you’re losing your lucidity. You’re waking up altogether. Go back to being in the dream, and being lucid.

So now I was back in the dream, lucid. I lay, stomach down, over some ledge of rock, looking down to some of the kids playing in the creek. They may have been a boy and a girl. They noticed me and started handing me toys to play with with them. One of the toys was a plastic horse.

I played around with the horse a little bit, then handed it back to the kids, who went back into the water.

I walked into the subway station. Inside, it seemed like it had become night. The station was lit gently with a kind of street-quality, greenish, fluorescent flood-lamp. The walls were a brownish stone, and the floors were some kind of granite-like grey. There was a downward staircase in the center of the lobby-area, and there were a few different corridors leading off from the main lobby-area.

I walked down one of the corridors off to my right. I heard a bunch of teenage kids who sounded like they were joking and having a good time. I decided that I should probably talk with the kids instead of being nervous and shy around them. This was a dream, and I was here to explore whatever I ran into.

So I saw the kids. They were a group of white boys and girls, dressed in kind of loose baggy sweaters and wool caps. They were making a bunch of jokes which struck me as intelligent and funny. I thought I’d talk to them. But they really didn’t pay any attention to me. So, rather than trying to hard to get their attention and getting hostile attention, I walked down another corridor.

But now I heard somebody calling for me. I wound around through the corridors, back to the area where the kids had been. It had definitely sounded like one of the boys, calling me back to be part of the group.

But when I got back to the area – something like a lobby, with a long, wooden counter at the front of the room, and a tall, nice painting on the cinder-block wall to my left – there were no kids, only two women. The women were both naked. They walked toward me, side by side.

The woman on the right was very tall, maybe a foot taller than I (or “I” in the dream). She was naked, but she wore a dark-blue plume of feathers as a headdress and a spray of dark blue feathers around her waist and back. She looked like a burlesque performer.

The woman on the left was still taller than I, maybe by an inch or two. She was pale, with long, curly, light-red hair. The women were both offering themselves to me for sex. I chose the shorter woman.

The woman stood right in front of me, almost to the point of pressing up to me. I asked her a question, and she replied. Satisfied, I began kissing her body.

We had sex in two or three different positions. But in one position I realized I was just doing a terrible job, and that I must just be making a weird situation for the woman, even though she did at least appear to be having fun. Regardless, I got so ashamed of what I perceived as being my stupid clumsiness that I woke up.

fragment
I'm driving my car, with H in the passenger seat. We are at a fast food drive-thru. H hands me a card to pay with. When I hand it to the cashier, she gives it back saying it's rejected. I look at it and see it's just a grocery club discount card, not a credit card.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in the backseat of a car full of people, probably women ranging from my age down to about 13. The driver may have been one of the girls' mothers, and she may have acted as a mother-figure for me as well.

I think I was going to an airport. But since I had a little time before I had to catch my flight, I was going to walk through the cemetery first.

A couple of girls had gotten out of the car to let me out. The car was a big, wide, 1970s-style sedan, probably pale beige colored. We stood in a dusty parking lot that felt like it was in the middle of a construction area, like for a small business park that was just being constructed.

I was now in a tall mansion, up in a room on the second or third floor, reading. I sat in a big, heavy wood chair at a big, heavy table made of dark wood. The room was small, crammed full of all kinds of books. The floors were probably some kind of dark wood. A decent amount of daylight came in through a window.

I looked up to see that one of the women (whom I recognize as a woman who works at a bookstore I frequent in waking life) was sitting across the table from me, reading. I was surprised that she had come to read as well.

Now a couple other girls bustled into the room. They said it was time for me to go to the airport. We left the room. We walked down a tight, steep stairwell.

I kept trying to ask the woman what book she had been reading. But the other women kept dissuading me, as if we didn't have time for me to ask such a question.

We were now outside the mansion, walking down a tight, narrow, stone staircase that ran from the porch, down a steep hill of lawn and past a tall stone wall, down to the curb where our car was.

As we descended beyond the stone wall, we passed a few cluttery stacks of old-looking books. I may have heard the woman who had been reading with me telling me (through telepathy?) things about the book she had been reading. Either she or I had been reading a book having something to do with Irish culture, possibly the Celtic aspect of it.

The dream starts off with me and one of my friends sitting on the ground outside of a school I don't recognize. However, it's a relatively small school and I do recognize that's it's not one that I've ever seen before. While we sit outside in the grass in silence, my mother suddenly appears and tells me to go pull up the car for her. I'm upset with her for a while because I was quite enjoying the aspect of remaining lazy, but my friend offers to go with me and so we go.

I don't actually remember walking through the school, but we are soon exiting into the other side, which seems to be sort of like the interior part of the grounds. Although I don't recall it having snowed in my dream, this whole area is covered in it. However, this is not where the car seems to be parked. To get to the car, we are required to go through these series of mazes within a cave. Before we go through the mouth of the beginning of this cave, a guy about my age appears and offers my friend and I a jacket if we allow him to accompany us. Seeing no harm in the matter, we allow him to do so. We put the coats on, and even though I had not noticed a temperature before, we seem to be much warmer with the newly added garments.

It seems to take us a while to get through the caves, although we never seem to get lost. Finally we come across my mom's car sitting alone inside a wide open area of the cave. Strangely enough, the guy who traversed with us suddenly attacks us. As we fight with him I ask him why he was doing so, but I can't recall the answer he gave me. My friend helps me to overpower this guy, and we quickly jump int car and drive off. As soon as we return into the maze of caves to make our way to the outside, I instantly am pulled from my dream and I'm awake.