All DJ Entries

Morning of October 25, 2017. Wednesday.



There are two types of dream scenarios influenced by the “Supernatural” television series; ones in which I am “in” the show’s world (without realizing that it is fiction) and ones in which I am aware of the Winchesters as their real-life counterparts as actors and on the set of the show or another location. This dream is of the former type; I am “in” the world where “Supernatural” is imagined as “real”.

---

Sam and Dean, and apparently their father, have discovered a portal to another world, though it is more like a pocket universe in the form of a large cave. They need to retrieve something deeper within the cave, such as important maps or other documents and possibly treasure.

There are unusual features related to working near the opening of this cave. There is a small pond as well as some sort of dynamic staircase that rises from the pond and which changes in position and orientation (including upside-down).

At one point, there are very loud footsteps and vibrations that imply a giant anthropomorphic creature approaching the mouth of the cave from inside; a giant manlike beast that wakes up when the portal is open, apparently preventing people from going farther into the cave, though I never see this giant. They close the portal for a time, though I decide to run off and hide in an orange grove. I think about which orange tree would be the most suitable to hide behind. At this point, it seems like the orange grove across the street from my Cubitis home (where I have not lived since 1978), which then implies that the portal was in about the center of the Cubitis living room, bilocated as such (environmental bilocation being a very common aspect of my dreams since childhood, yet of which I hardly ever see other people write about).

Absentmindedly, I go back to the location where Sam and Dean are. They seem very cheerful. They have an unusual advantage now. There are two living idols that are on our side of the portal that are preventing two smaller living idols from going back into the entrance of the cave. The smaller ones are only about a foot high and the other two about two feet in height. They look somewhat like Maori idols. I watch the smaller two try to get back into the cave, but they eventually give up because of the larger two guarding it. They then go to a playground and have fun sliding down the slide, exclaiming “wee” and giggling. I watch the activity of these unusual living statues for a few minutes.

Sam and Dean are now getting what they want from the cave. The giant will sleep when the two small idols are not present inside. He could not possibly wake up otherwise. From here, I absentmindedly wander off into a featureless field (a common liminal space setting in my dreams, especially in the last scene), which seems to be at night.

A beautiful young girl approaches though I do not fully recognize her as a young version of Zsuzsanna (even though she is, though my conscious self identity is still subliminal and my non-lucid dream self amnesiac and of fictitious dynamics). We hug and kiss but she says something about needing to go somewhere. I assume I will see her again later as my dream fades.

---

Since early childhood, other than literal prescience (including biological foreshadowing as well as premonitory factors of the waking jolt itself) and many other literal features, my dreams have easily been seen as mostly being about dreaming and waking in real time (and the symbolism as such, obviously as it is a mental process in real time) rather than the nebulous and ill-informed concept of “interpretation” that many people believe in for whatever reason. The same is true for this dream.

The cave represents the status of being unconscious (including the redundant factor of a dream as if of “another world” that “hides” the conscious self identity) as well as deeper levels of memory (validated by the Cubitis setting, not seen in real life since 1978). The four idols represent dynamics of the reticular activating system, which mediates the level of consciousness (and is responsible for the nature of waking symbolism, sometimes utilizing real-life environmental ambiance or physical discomfort of sleeping position). The two smaller idols (emergent consciousness factors, unfeasibly otherwise modeled after the preconscious, representing the two brain hemispheres) need to be present to activate waking, yet the two larger idols (dream-based figures representing my subliminal desire to sleep longer) prevent them from causing the giant to wake. The two smaller idols still playfully simulate waking (to indicate that waking up is not so bad) by playfully going down the slide, which is akin to the common biological falling sensation of waking.

After this, a young Zsuzsanna (mostly as she appeared when we first met in real life, though she is wearing slacks and a blouse) is rendered as the emergent consciousness factor to “try again”. This time, coalescence waking symbolism is the key and the feasible result, which symbolizes both my dream self’s coalescence back into my conscious self identity, my link to the familiar, and the dawning of conscious self identity recognition, which is not present in many dream states.

---

“Beyond the Martian Time Barrier / The Martian Casket” from 1973 is a very good example of the same core symbolism. The status of sleeping and waking bilocated in the center of the Cubitis living room in mostly the same way, though in that dream, REM sleep was also symbolized as the “sleeping” Martian’s eyes being seen to move realized as being mine as reflected back. In that case, there was not an additional waking symbolism segment as here, as it was not needed.

Morning of October 7, 2017. Saturday.

Dream #: 18,555-02. Reading time: 2 min 20 sec.



Before my dream, in waking life, I repeated an affirmation, “I invite the infinite healing power of Universal Mind into all areas of our bodies” (alternating with “my body”). Consider how a car is an extension of the imaginary physicality of the dream state and how “power” becomes “powder” (which has occurred with previous dreams). Another alteration is how my dreaming experience transformed my headphones (used for affirmations) into an intoxicating clamshell.

---

After entering the dream state, I allow my conscious awareness to fade for the affirmation to predominate. The affirmation seems to become a string attached to the front bumper of a Matchbox car. (I sometimes use an imaginary rope to pull myself into or out of the dream state.) The Matchbox car is a 1930s convertible. At times, I mentally cause it to become a full-sized automobile. I rapidly drive in an unknown big city while there is a focus on possibly being stopped for speeding. However, the police are always going in the opposite direction. Later, I shrink the car to its Matchbox size and carry it to a wharf.

The wharf is at the side of a road where a ladder leads down to a small platform adjacent to a commercial building. An unknown black man is here as well as Zsuzsanna. An unfamiliar woman asks if she can borrow my Matchbox car to sail across the ocean. I cause it to become large enough for her to fit in it, but I place it on a raft. I realize it may not be stable enough, so I tell her I do not think it is a reliable way to travel. Curiously, my hand seems to be as big as the raft as I test its buoyancy and how much weight it can hold.

I stand on the side of the road, and the man wants to borrow my car. I whistle for it, and it arrives as a Matchbox car from the other side of town but grows to full size. He gives me a roll of one-dollar notes. When he returns, I feel I should give him something. I hand him the handwritten affirmation (without realizing what it is) that had been in my wallet. I give him some other documents that feature unusual writing and symbols.

I enter a cave with the essence of a room in a house. A tunnel, like a long hallway, leads to its entrance. I whistle for my Matchbox car and notice the end of the string near the mouth of my cave. I pull my Matchbox car into the cave using the string. I see an opening in the cave wall to the left of the entrance.

I find several ancient artifacts and fossils. One is a ritual clamshell that generates an intoxicating “healing powder” that cavemen used. I slap the clamshell against my ears to become intoxicated, feeling bliss, and comfort.

As I am sitting on the cave’s floor, a shadowy caveman figure approaches, though he is more like an ancient ape with a manlike essence. He briefly touches me on the shoulder and knee and has a positive presence. He is like a benevolent spirit or an ancient ghost who goes to another part of the cave.

Steve Johnson (a classmate from years ago), and at least three other people, walk through the hallway into my cave. I tell them about the artifacts and “healing powder” and ask if they would like to improve their minds and bodies with it.

---

Here's the summary:

Total:
Dream: 985
LD: 93
SP: 30

This (last) week:
Dream: 17
LD: 0
SP: 1

(That sleep paralysis wasn't scary or anything, I just couldn't move and that was it)

I finally got lucid dream again, and not just one but two and for the same night, too. I tried to do the bonus ToTM (flipping the world upside down) twice, but I didn't succeed. I'm dumb because I was supposed to do the others first, as they're easier and actually possible for me, but okay then... It was fun tho. Here are the dreams:

#1The dream begann non-lucid. I was in some underground cave. It was full of water but I could see and breathe just well. It looked like Minecraft... I was swimming (diving?) around and tried to find exit at some point. I started controlling my actions more and more until I just thought that yeah, this is a lucid dream now. I tried to do the world flipping thing but I got something horribly wrong because I flipped MYSELF, not the world. But the world seems to be upside down on my perspective, so it counts, right? No (or does it??). Okay, I guess it could have worked in some way actually, but it didn't. I tried to keep that pose for a while. It was interesting. Then I woke up.

#2 I got another dream right away (DEILD? Was it?). I was in the same world (I just knew) but not in the water this time. I tried to do it on ground. I didn't have that much control that time, but it was still a LD.

Ritual: The new Twin Peaks started last night, so I watched the usual Sunday shows in their second round and didn't get to bed until after 2am. I woke around 7 or 8 and looked at my iPad a bit, enough to wake up my mind, with the usual vague intention to make this into a WBTB, but the only other mental preparation I did was to remind myself that dreaming involves proprioreception, so I should pay attention to my whole body as I fell back asleep. It was 9am when I woke after the dream, which I felt had lasted only a few minutes.

FA-WILD: During my WBTB, my husband mentioned that he was going to the grocery store this morning, so when I was half-woken by the sound of the garage door, I knew he must have left. This much was evidently a real perception, but right after that, still believing I was half awake, I heard voices. I knew my brother was in his room on the other side of the house, but I couldn't account for the other voices. [DL: My brother lives on the other side of the country, and the room I thought he was in does not exist.] Was he on the phone? But there were several voices, and the sounds of people moving around. Had he invited friends over? Then I recognized one of the voices as that of my maternal grandmother. [DL: She died over twenty years ago.]

Despite the dreamlogic, these observations did actually make me wonder if I was dreaming the voices, not because of the incongruities that would have been obvious to a waking mind, but only because of my conviction that if my husband just left for the store, then no one else (besides my brother) should be in the house so early in the morning. I tested to see if I was getting any dream imagery, and sure enough, when I partially closed my eyes, the four flaps of a manually closed cardboard box appeared superimposed over the rumpled covers of the bed that I had thought I was seeing with my waking eyes. [DL: In retrospect, is it apparent that everything I observed after hearing the garage door was already in dream, so I was mistaken in believing that I had woken up. My mind was half awake, despite the dream logic, which is what led to the confusion about which perceptions were dreamed and which were real.]

I realized that if I was already seeing dream imagery, then if I was careful I could probably "get up" out of bed and into the dream just like I do in WILDs. This was easily done. I crossed the room, an accurate likeness of my bedroom, and opened the window to look outside toward what I understood to be my brother's room, on the second floor above the attached shed. [DL: The shed has no second storey.] The ground was covered with snow, and I did recognize that this was incongruous with the current season. It gave me the idea to do the TOTY that I had attempted a couple times earlier, the sled ride.

The last shot of the final show I watched last night was a woman diving backwards over the edge of a boat to go scuba diving. It made an impression on me because I had only ever dived into water face first, and at the time I had tried to imagine what it would feel like to enter the water that way. Now, as I was about to jump out the window, I decided to do it backwards like a scuba diver. For a moment I felt like I was falling and wondered if I would actually hit the ground, but then the nongravity of dream caught me pleasantly in an inverted arc, and I settled gently to my feet.

I remembered the last few times I had attempted the sled task, and how I had overcomplicated it to the point where I kept waking up before I could finish. This time I decided I'd better just get it done, even if my solutions weren't elegant. So instead of going to the trouble of finding or manifesting the necessary sled and mountaintop, I just asserted these conditions into existence. I'm on a sled, riding down a mountain. As is typical when I "brute force" things in dream, initially it felt like a fiction, but soon I began to feel plausible sensations of sitting on a sled and sliding down the snowy slope. It was far from my best work, but it sufficed.

I was sufficiently familiar with the task that before I had even intended it, my sled slipped through an irregular opening like the mouth of a cave, into a wide dark space. But then I wondered if this was good enough—I hadn't read the terms of the task in ages. Would a cave suffice, or did it have to be a proper hole through the surface of the earth? I couldn't remember, so I decided to play it safe and conjured a perfectly round hole, like the sort of thing you might see in a cartoon, just in front of me on the lower floor of the cave. My sled and I slipped right through, and at this point my interest perked up, because I didn't know what to expect, and had not planned or intended anything past this point.

It was dark down here, and I had no sense of the borders of the space, yet I could see the details nearest me perfectly well in the nonlight of dream. The place felt public and even familiar—familiar as a type rather than a specific location—but I can't think of how to relate it to anything in WL. A "town square" might be the closest analogue, but of course in WL town squares don't tend to be in enormous caverns underground.

I felt my mind shift over into observation mode and began to take deliberate note of the things I saw, but at the same time I felt really hungry and couldn't resist impulsively tasting everything. [WL: I hadn't eaten much for dinner and had even felt hungry again by the time I went to bed, so this was a genuine bleedthrough sensation.]

My sled had disappeared in the transition through the hole, so now I was on foot. The first object that I passed, on my left, was a piece of fabric that had been fashioned into the form of an elephant, about about eighteen inches wide. It was attached to the top of a pole stuck in the ground, elevating it to just above waist height. I pulled the fabric elephant off the pole to give it a closer look as I continued to walk. White was the dominant color, but the details were stitched in brightly-hued threads, red and blue and green. The base fabric had a thick pile, almost fur-like, akin to what you might see on a stuffed animal, but the object overall was flat, lightly padded like a thin quilt. My hunger impelled me to take a big bite, and in my mouth it had the taste and texture of a sort of bland taffy. (Tastes are rarely very distinctive in my dreams.) I dropped it and moved on.

The next object I encountered was also on a waist-high pole, and about the same size as the elephant. This one was made of paper and a bit more three-dimensional—it resembled a large origami fish folded from patterned paper. The taste and texture were even less remarkable, but I was so hungry it felt good to be chewing something.

As I observed with mild amusement the way my hunger was driving me to try to eat things that didn't even resemble food, the rational part of my mind responded that this being a dream, there was no reason I shouldn't try to eat literally anything I could see. I put this to the test, breaking off random bits of any surface I came across and nibbling on them. One thing I remember distinctly was a table. It was a round table covered by a long, dark-hued tablecloth. I think there was a vase of flowers in the center but otherwise it was bare, so I grabbed a hank of the tablecloth and started noshing on that. I was cramming far more in my mouth than I ever would in WL, but I didn't worry since I knew that this stuff had no real substance.

I was still in snacking mode when I came across a white-bearded gentleman in a navy blue blazer. The bronze buttons caught my eye, and without so much as saying hello, much less asking permission, I reached out and twisted off the top button, bringing it to my eyes for a closer look. Tiny convex letters around the top spelled out "Bartholomew," and a small human figure occupied the center of the button. "Saint Bartholomew?" I asked the gentleman from whom I had taken the button, while trying to remember if there was really such a saint or if I was just free associating. [WL: I still wasn't sure so I googled it. Apparently Saint Bartholomew was an apostle, and although I was not consciously aware of that, I suspect the influence of day residue, because in The Leftovers last night several disciples were mentioned, and I've never been able to keep disciples and apostles straight.] The man shook his head, and when I looked again at the button I saw the letters rearrange themselves into the name "Balthus," which seemed to make a bit more sense... in a way that I can't entirely explain. Still hungry, I licked the button. I thought it tasted a bit sour and metallic, a bit like licking a D battery but without the tingle. The bronze button had been darkly tarnished but now gleamed where I had licked it, so I licked it a few more times to polish the highlights. I looked at the letters again and now they read "Ubewiz," a name meant nothing to me, though I thought it sounded vaguely Polish. [DL: I just noticed the symmetry between the verb "polish" and the adjective "Polish," so I suspect dreamlogic lay behind this observation.]

FA: I woke up (so I thought) and immediately fished my dream journal out of the bottom drawer of my bedside table. [WL: This was a realistic detail, because although usually I keep it right on the table next to the bed, for the past few days it has been in the drawer.] I flipped through it and couldn't find a single blank page, but I didn't want to waste any time so I started writing my notes in the margins. I was jotting down keywords: "Bartholomew, Balthus, Ubewiz," read the first line. Then I included brief notes about the fabric elephant and origami fish. I hadn't gotten very far when I woke up again and realized that I had been taking my initial notes in a false awakening and would have to start over, so once again I pulled my journal out of the drawer and wrote—grateful for the blank page this time—"Bartholomew, Balthus, Ubewiz."

With my family we were stranded in wilderness. We sheltered in a cavern that opened to enormous pit left by an earthquake. It was in a crossing of huge river, desert and a temperate forest. We quickly prepared the cavern for our living area, then set up a small farm nearby. Just before the harvest, during one night, some people decided to start a wild party at our farm and destroyed almost all plants. We got rid of them and set our farm anew, bigger than before. Then we started exploring the pit in search of coal and iron.

I saw some underground cavern with small, blue glowing crystals. There was a whole society of intelligent chinchilas. They have gathered in the middle of the cavern. Chinchilla elder had some sack with glowing crystals, all of them were arguing until he made them quiet and said about prophecised end of the world. Suddenly water started gathering in the cavern. I turned into that elder chincilla with crystals. Everyone was escaping, but I decided that it would be for the better if I dive deeper and drown.

Suddenly I found myself in my home, barricaded. Looking through windows I saw legions of zombies smashing everything on their way and going towards my house. I tried to move from bathroom to kitchen, but there were two zombies in the hallway. I ran past them, but doors to kitchen were barricaded too. Suddenly my sister with grandma opened them and helped me close them so zombies won't get us.

I haven't put any focus on WILDs in quite some time but was motivated to mix attempts back in the last 2 nights, but only after doing my MILD to increase chances of my fairly trusty DILDs if the WILD fails. At BTB I do location-aha-MILD first, followed by face to face, clear view release and some REM eye movement simulation (4 eye sweeps behind closed eyelids). The face to face and REM simulation are found to be the most efficient method of losing the feel of my waking body. I get a good number of color and pattern HH's, followed by some that resemble objects and people, followed by dreamlets. At those first two stages I was able to use a technique of "reaching" for additional senses related to the items more than just the visual: primarily tactile and temperature, but sometimes sounds and smells that match with the visual. I didn't remember to try taste. For the third stage where I was getting dreamlets I found that I had to become more passive it seemed because I was finding my senses return to my waking body or perhaps within an FA. I didn't test it, assuming FA's and decided I did need to be more passive during these dreamlets, perhaps wrongly. I know passive is generally recommended but since I have a fair bit of experience with WILDs I feel more inclined toward the active side of the scale. Anyway, I end up in an FA and then an actual waking or FA where I go for a WILD.

I am naked in bed with my wife and for some reason my mother in law is there and I seem to be semi-lucid at this stage but as more people arrive I seem to drop below semi-lucid and get caught up in the dream. I see this commercial anti-bacterial spray I have looked for in the past and ask the guy where he got it without a good answer. I either wake or have another FA in my normal bed/scenario and go for a DEILD but feels more like a WILD with HH's and back to reaching for additional senses tied to the HH visuals. After some fading in and out of HHs I get a more steady one that looks most like a cave opening at first and imagine some cooler air emanating from it. It develops into a a vague looking canyon and then to a canyon formation like you might see in Arches National Park with a double arch entrance to a canyon opening where both "arches" were relatively flat on their top sides but the bottom "arch" had an arch shape to it whereas the top "arch" was also relatively flat across the bottom as well. This was all in a brightly lit daylight scene once the arches formed. This morphed from more of a natural formation to something purposely built like you might see in a sci-fi set on a canyon-like planet. I want to go there but it seems my dream body is still forming so I use intent with my eyes to start moving in that direction and I reach for the sensation of the wind on my face and body and it feels like a slightly cool breeze and I am now flying in my dream body. As I get to the canyon "entrance" I land due to the low clearance and find my self alternating between walking and crawling in a very cool scene that seems a lot like a dry cave but tons of light coming in on the far side that I want to get to and also light coming from the side I came in on. It was a very cool place to explore, but I love caves and canyons. It also reminded me of some of my favorite lucid dreams like the wall and childhood "treasures" found on the beach of the grassy sea (posted in my DJ on DV somewhere a good ways back). As I get to the end of the low clearance I fly up and out to the next bend in the canyon and think of one of the TOTM's and decide that an alien spaceship will be the right around the bend but nothing is there. I then decide it will be at the top of this canyon wall to my left and I fly up to the top of it and there it is a huge mega spaceship with an outer shell that is made up of many circular metal panels with lattice work in between, perhaps 100 circular panels on the side of the ship that I can see. I fly into the lattice work and I feel myself being pulled further into the craft with a fade to darkness at first but soon after a bright long and fairly wide hall appears that looks like a mall with humans walking around and a food place to my right. Perhaps the scenario is that the dream aliens created an environment where I would feel comfortable but I proceeded to treat it just like any dream scene. I tried to slow down one lady passing by, but she seemed in a hurry and I look ahead down the hallway/walkway of the "mall" and see a tall beautiful lady that looks slightly not of this world with her unusually big and stunningly attractive eyes.
(eyes were wider and bigger but this is close)
After the experience with the previous lady I made sure I would be able to stop her in her tracks by creating the back story of: "Finally we are reunited! It has been so long!" grasping both of her hands face to face and giving her a big wet kiss. I feel myself getting rather excited but I remember to calm down. I think of another TOTM, the pencil one and tell her I have something to show her and reach in my back pocket but coming up empty handed. I then ask her if she has a pencil and she pulls one out of her purse and I try to float it in the air in front of me and it disappears. I then walk over to the food place and ask the guy behind the counter for a pencil and he gives me one. I see an order stub on the counter and float the pencil with the tip touching the paper and tell it to draw something and it starts doodling. It looks like nothing more than a toddler's drawing but as I look closer, it looks like it morphs into words on the order stub. I wake and quickly use the bathroom in order to get back to dreaming, this time RCing to make sure I'm actually awake. I jot down a few keywords from the dream and a few quick drawings of the canyon arches and the alien craft lattice work and go back to bed, forgetting to write down the words that I remembered.

After playing with HH's for a while and deciding to doze off, I get a dream where the wife asks me where one of the bills is and if it has been paid. I said that I think I filed it already but I can check on the computer if I paid it. At the computer, the keyboard is missing and I ask my wife if she's seen it but then I find the keyboard unplugged and sitting on top of the computer desktop tower. I feel someone tugging on me in darkness and I realize I must have fallen asleep, maybe in front of the computer. Either way I treat the tugging as HHs not waking life and a scene forms where I am at an office elevator and a woman is asking me for directions. Already aware that I am dreaming I decide to see where the elevator takes me just like in last night's lucid, with a little excited anticipation. I don't remember anything but going up in the elevator before waking up needing to pee again and I decide to get up for the day.

Morning of September 5, 2016. Monday.



I find myself in an unusual balanced composite (more integrated than usual) of my Cubitis family home and the Barolin Street house (to where the Barolin Street house’s porch is integrated with my Cubitis bedroom in atypically smooth orientation). I have a large hardcover book which seems to be meant to be a notebook yet has the look of a novel.

I am aware that Godzilla is approaching from the west (Cubitis orientation) and will reach the house within a short time. I am clearly focused and write in the book how Godzilla will not damage the house and will pass by without destruction.

As I write with a pencil, more like making annotations above my previous writing at some points, I hear Godzilla approaching. Soon, he is somehow in the house but only about as tall as the ceiling. He does not bother me and instead, ducks down and goes through the doorway. He turns to the left and shuffles through another doorway after hunching down. No damage is done. I find this interesting but I also realize that he may come back in his full size and with a more monstrous presence depending on how I write the events in the book I have.

I get the sense of there being an island in the distance (northeasterly), which Godzilla will mostly destroy all the buildings on, yet I am not focused on the idea of a body of water separating it from the region where the house is. I write about how Godzilla will march in a rectangular path so that he will eventually come back from the same direction, but supposedly not near the house. I walk to an area that is like an underground cavern but still seems part of the house (and “actually” above ground). In Cubitis orientation, this cavern would open to the north and is probably analogous to the hallway of that house with a vague bilocation. An unknown dark-haired female approaches me from the mouth of the cave while holding a pillow horizontally (obvious dream sign) with a black gemstone with an emerald cut sitting horizontally on it. It is about six inches long. This character seems like an odd composite of Xena and Kira from “The Dark Crystal”. (There is an association with my wife Zsuzsanna here. Her middle name is Gabrielle, which is also Xena’s friend’s name. Kira is also the name of a “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” character and “Star Trek” featured in another dream of today.)

She seems very concerned about the supposedly inevitable approach of Godzilla and yet is also wondering if the crystal should ever be used to control such creatures, as it is implied to be of great power and may fall into the wrong hands. She talks about hiding it instead, so that no one would ever be able to use it for anything.

“It doesn’t matter at all,” I say. “I can control everything in the universe with this book. In fact, I made everything in the universe.”

The girl eyes me curiously while seemingly dismissing that the crystal has any consequential aspect at all but seems puzzled and somewhat wary about being an entity I had created or she may be uncertain how I may shape events concerning Godzilla’s approach towards her people or alternate world. I wake before writing any more.

---

This was interesting in that I had total control by what I wrote in the book yet was not even slightly lucid at any point. A book represents the nature of consciousness (or the transmuted conscious mind within the dream state) and the critical thinking skills on the conscious identity side of liminal space.

A pillow is an obvious dream sign, not at all a symbol, that is, a residual memory of having fallen asleep (as is a bed and being undressed in public). The crystal seems to symbolize focused lucidity here (as it is dark and sits on the pillow and thus is analogous to the sleeping mind), yet full dream control is still present without lucidity or even a greater perceptual clarity. As Kira has wings and is a muppet, this is an atypical form of the otherwise very common “return flight” waking metaphor which also reflects the artificial nature of the dream state (and a puppet or muppet obviously represents potential dream control).

The cave represents the dreaming side of liminal space (or the depths of the unconscious while sleeping) and thus on the primary level the emergence of the female character symbolizes my wife Zsuzsanna waking up next to me. Godzilla was the base coalescence metaphor (dream-swallower for the return to whole consciousness yet also represents heartburn in this case which I had to a small degree after waking, especially as Godzilla hunches down with his left paw on his stomach at one point), yet something within my dream self focus was able to shape my dream differently without being lucid.

In the first scene that I can recall I'm staring at an artwork I made. It's from first person perspective, my perspective. It's way better than any of my drawings in waking life. In the artwork I'm flying in a vast cavern. The jagged cave floor looks like a copy of the cave ceiling. Looks like we are between two planets that are close together. The cavern is foggy and there are three monsters flying in front of me. They seem to be my friends, since they are flying in the same direction. Part of them is not visible due to the fog. They are green and insect-like. Like Cell from DBZ. I want to add more color to the cave and think about opening photoshop.

Suddenly I'm at the top of a staircase and the cave opens up in front of me. It's dark. I make a flashlight appear and shine it into the darkness. I see monsters. They run away from the light. Most of them do anyway. One of these humanoid beings comes towards me regardless. He looks like a baby that just learned to walk. I am slightly scared, so I raise my hand and try to make the baby disappear. I fail, but become lucid. The baby asks what I was trying to do. I try to make him disappear again, but nothing happens. I remember my goal, but not how I was planning to reach it. The baby keeps bugging me. I'm looking down at my clothes to keep my focus on the dream. I'm wearing a white and green ski jacket. More specifically, it looked like a white jacket with tiny green leaves in a neat pattern. I grab the left sleeve with my right hand to focus on how it feels.

I look up and the flashlight is still shining into the cave. A man with short black hair teleports into the light and stands 20 meters away from me. He is wearing a light brown flight jacket. We stare at each other and then he just walks away and teleports. I enter the cave and sit down. The baby is still right next to me. I start spinning and focus on the frozen planet. I visualize the ground turning into snow and the walls flying away from me as they are replaced with distant mountains and starry night sky. While I'm spinning, the baby asks if I'm taking him there as well. I finally answer him, saying pretty indifferently "I guess." All this spinning and visualizing does is take my focus away from the dream and I wake up.

Sigh...Well it's a lucid dream. It's progress.

I was in a dark, cold cavern. It somewhat looked like an old computer game, there was an altar with some small chest on it. I touched it and found myself in a strange city. A twist of mixed architectural designs. It was still dark, only street lights were shining. I walked up to a rooftop of a building using an outside staircase. I realized that it's a dream. I thought "What about warming this place up a bit?" I summoned an atomic bomb which stroke the city. It didn't changed much. I put my hand in a gesture trying to grab something, and I dragged a small, yellow glowing ball of energy to me. "I'll use this to power the city." Then I wandered the town some more. Going through alleys I was powering up whole districts by using the orb - basically pointing my fingers at wires. There were some dark figures wandering around, I pointed fingers at them and they disappeared. I entered a secret complex of "keepers"from thief games. There was an enforcer patrolling the area. I pointed finger at him and he fell dead. I thought "I should restart and let him live.

I lost lucidity and found myself at the first cave, escaping from enormous, deadly spiders.

Stations
It's daytime and I'm sitting in a train. I'm on my way to my hometown. The train stops at a train station with the name of my hometown on it. Heh.. no way. This station doesn't like it at all. It's a tiny station almost in the middle of nowhere. I think an elderly couple gets off. I'm still a bit confused over the situation. It's one thing to get the wrong info from the on board announcements, but to have the wrong namesign up on a train station... Suddenly I see the area from an aerial perspective. Ow I get it now. They've added 2 new train stations in this city, to increase accessibility. Apparently they all have the same name.

At the next station now. I clearly see a shop on the other platform. The building is very rectangular. I'm standing on a different platform. I look at the announcement board and see that the next train will go to my hometown. I start walking towards the correct platform. I will have to check out and check in again.

Fragments
» I'm with my cousin. She takes a look at my dreads. She gets all excited and sort of states that I've fixed them. I tell her that my mom fixed them up a bit, but not entirely. Somehow I feel a bit embarrassed with the attention.

» I'm with my mom, grandma and aunt. My aunt is blind.* We were walking around the house and my aunt had no problem moving about with the same speed as a non-blind person. We're then all seated at a table and I'm playing chess against my blind aunt. Instead of black-white, the board is black - light blue. The position of the pieces changes ever so slightly during one of my turns, causing me to take a very long time to think about what move I want to do. At some point one of the pieces is a squished little tomato with some other stuff mixed into it. It's quite messy.

*My aunt's not really blind.

» I'm walking along a trail in the hills or on a mountain. I'm hiking with a group.

» Not sure if it's the same group, but we're in a cave with a lot of people. We're playing a type of infected tag game. If you get tagged, you become one of the growing group of taggers. The purpose is to make it to the other side. I think I get tagged at some point, but somehow have a retry. It's easy to tell who is infected as they have a certain light around them. I think I dive to make it out of the cave on the other side, but I'm a bit too late. I finish in 3rd position, which I can clearly see displayed as if I'm playing a video game.

» I'm talking with my ex girlfriend on whatsapp. It's about a mountain and a volcano I've been to in Indonesia. There are pictures. Our replies are somewhat normal, but at the same time it feels like there's a sub-meaning as the situation feels a bit hostile. Did I go to these places with Christina?

» Writing Christina's name triggered the memory of a plane, though I'm not sure if I dreamt about one.

» I'm scrolling through LinkedIn. I've added one of my lecturers. I think I see her scrolling to hers and her ignoring my invitation. I reason that she probably doesn't know who I am, as I've omitted some information from my profile.

Sales
I'm standing inside a small shop. It's supposed to be an office for a street sales company at which I will start working. I know it will be different than the last time, because this time I have my housemate Quint with me who will also work here.* We're standing in front of a type of post-mix machine with the manager, who is our age. He offers us some cola. I'm not really into cola because it's unhealthy, but I don't want to be rude. We get it in a big cup. Quint prefers dr. pepper, but the manager is not allowed to pour the same quantity of dr. pepper as cola. A rule from his uncle, who is the owner. We watch the television which is mounted a bit above our heads. It's an event in a stadium. There's a group of perhaps 100 people in the middle of the field. It has to do with mourning for a terrorist attack. I see an old friend of mine, Tris. Wauw.. it looks like he hasn't slept for days. Then the whole thing turns into a performance, with riot police and such. At some point it turns into a form of rehearsal, as one thing is done again and again to get it right.

*We don't live together. He used to work at the previous street sales company.

I completely forgot to write up these dreams today... And I actually had pretty alright dream recall for once :/ damn.

Dream 1 - Conch shell
From what I remember I was in a cave with some people, it was a pretty massive cave that was easy to see in because it had a large opening and in was day time (though the sun wasn't shining directly into the cave). I recall seeing a big conch shell, it was mounted on a pedestal like it was some sort of treasure. I picked it up and brought to my face inspecting it, seeing some holes I placed my thumb over them and blew into an opening..
*Bang*! Whoa that was unexpected, I didn't think it would be loud. I put it back hurriedly thinking that I shouldn't mess around with it... Then I pick it up again, just one more try won't hurt
Knowing what to do this time I prepare to blow into it really hard, sucking in a big breath and then unleashing a full throttle exhale into it. *BOOOM*!! A huge sound wave emanates from the shell and causes the whole cave to shake extremely violently . Everyone else that was around starts running for the exit, I start running too. Debris rains down from the ceiling and splashes into the water (most of the cave is in deep water) and sticks out which I use to jump across towards the exit. Suddenly a big piece of debris falls in front of me and I die... It was 'game over', and actually felt like a game. I was in third person watching my characters body go limp like a game character would in something like Skyrim. My character began sinking into the depths and I was left wondering how he actually died.. It didn't make sense (the debris didn't even touch my character).

Dream fragment
- I remember at some point talking to someone (it was a girl) and she threatened me and stuck two fingers into my mouth and grabbed my tongue I'm not sure if this even happened last night..

Dream 2 - Gift
I can't properly remember this dream so I'll just try string together the notes I put in my phone about it...
Apparently I was talking to my dad outside the house and then my mum must have came out and given me a gift, I remember it seemed to resemble the star that you would place on top of a Christmas tree. There's trash to clean up and I think I clean it up, maybe from a bin that spilled. The parents of my ex gf are there at some point and I think they may be doing something illegal.

Dream 3 - Home
I'm at my parents house with some friends, for some reason we ended up all being naked because something had happened to our clothes and we had to get new ones, maybe they got too wet? O_O.. There's sand on my feet and we're heading through the hallway in my house towards the bathroom to wash the sand off I think. As we walk through the hallway we walk past these 3 girls who I think are really ugly, they're covered in acne all over and their faces just don't look right for some reason. They're naked too for some reason. We reach the bathroom and the others start rinsing themselves, there's no real awareness to the fact that we're naked in the company of each other. Suddenly me and this blonde girl start interacting, I decide to start 'teasing' her, though I have no idea how it's considered teasing... Since I pretty much put her in a full-blown sex position, this dream took a really hot and heavy turn . She said "what are you doing?" coquettishly, and wanted things to progress but I said "haha I'm just teasing" (since I knew I had a gf). This moment in particular during the dream was extremely intense... None of the others had noticed but it's pretty much like they don't really exist temporarily. I put a jacket around me and cover up my crotch for obvious 'reasons' after that event. I then head back to my room just across the hallway. Everything in this house was where it was supposed to be, but I didn't realize that all the rooms were about twice the size they should have been. I pick up a towel and some clothes, hmm I probably don't have enough clothes for everyone.. Oh well. My friend Matt comes up to me and I tell him I'm going to have a shower and he smiles and nods then strides back over to the others.

Morning of September 24, 2015. Thursday.




Firstly in my dream, I seem to be living in the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane, but it eventually transforms into a much larger structure that seems partly embedded in a mountain, as there are rooms that are like caves later on. Prior to the shifting setting change, there is a young male that appears to have some sort of medical problem. He claims to have a toothache that is supposedly related to a headache even though the “headache” (the source being near the top of his head and related to a protruding blood vein) is somehow in his jaw. The male reminds me of a younger version of my wife’s brother George (Gyorgy). I ask him if I can help in any way, but he seems more annoyed by the present living arrangements than his continuous pain and potential nearing demise.

There are two other people in the house who may be younger versions of two of our children (oldest son and daughter). At one point, I teach some Russian, but it is mainly only two rows of audio-based prompts on a computer screen and primarily relates to pronouns, including variations of “I” and “me”; “ya”, “menya”, and “mne”. Over time, I become aware of there being more people around.

There is seemingly a nuclear explosion in the distance, but very loud in my dream’s immediate setting. When I look out, however, it looks quite odd, like narrow clustered columns of pink and orange smoke rising high into the sky in the distance, right on the horizon (from an unknown city). This seems to mean that modern society, for the most part, no longer exists. I notice our home seems to be isolated and within a composite of desert and meadow, with no signs of any other buildings. However, I still hear several dogs barking at the distant explosion, which almost seems to be a good sign.

We now live in an unusual composite of large cave and house, though with a layout somewhat like a shopping mall, with a public court and an additional adjoining building or group of buildings. Someone (unknown) says that the monster can now leave - which relates to the nuclear event somehow or the fact that there are not many people left in the world for it to terrorize. A door is opened somewhere in the cave-building that had kept the monster trapped, and the front door to outside is also opened. The “monster” leaves on its own accord after randomly wandering through various rooms to find its way out. It looks like an ordinary warthog as it passively walks out the main entrance. There is no threat or drama or concern of any kind at all at this point.

Later, I go to another building (part of the same settlement) and wander through the halls. I warily notice an unusual lump and weight pulling down the skin of my left forearm as well as minor burns and scabs. I realize I have something inside my arm. I carefully shuffle the hard object forward and out through the scar on my wrist (from my accident as a toddler) and it is a rectangular piece of thin metal, almost as wide as my wrist. Another similar object comes out after, which is like partly reflective glass of a similar size and shape (possibly part of a small mirror). The sensations and progressive movement are extraordinary “realistic” (though possibly more like pushing something under a shirt sleeve out through the cuff as I do not feel much pain). I feel my arm to make sure no other objects are in it. I “realize” that this probably happened when I was sleeping on a bed full of junk and the objects somehow got into my arm without me noticing until now (which is of course, a false memory as I do not sleep on a bed full of metallic junk, sharp objects, and wires as implied).



I go back and give the objects (and a few other bits of junk I found in the building) to the leader of the settlement (who seems to be actor Clancy Brown). At this point I tell him how the objects perhaps grew inside me somehow with regard to chemicals in the air, perhaps. He seems only mildly interested in the event but still wants everything I have. As we walk through a doorway back into the building (no longer with cave features) I had been staying in, I see two fancy car keys lying on the floor just inside the doorway with some apparently discarded documents. They have an atypical appearance; other than somewhat floral regarding the shape on one end, very slightly paperclip-like in part of the form only. I consider that if I pick them up and keep them for myself, the leader might not like it when he finds out, so I point them out saying, “look at those keys”. The leader says, rather egotistically, “I’ll just take these keys”. His behavior brings mild amusement. He then asks me what year they are from as if that is important and I say “1961” but then consider that “1961” might actually be a serial number unrelated to the date (though do not mention this). (The imagery is curious, as the number looks the same right-side-up as it does upside-down.)

In the final scene, I am sitting in a hall with several others of various ages. One (unknown) teenage girl in the opposite corner (opposite an implied perpendicular continuation of the hall) starts complaining about everything in a pessimistic and defeatist rant, and, even though there are only about a hundred people left on the planet, I tell her that I do not want to listen to her “f–ked up fantasies” (in the sense that they are negative and of no use, including trivial gossip and pointless opinions of others in the hall). From here, I feel cheerful and completely optimistic and ignore her otherwise depressing prattle, especially as I get the impression there will be a self-sustaining community expanding soon.

I find myself beaten and battered on the crags of some blighted cliff. I am underground, as it seems. All around me there is fire and brimstone. I stood high above, atop rocky platforms. A river of lava passed below and fire blazed in the air. I am crawling on my knees; I distinctly remember the long cuts on my back, the rips in my skin from some kind of animal. I leap across crag and crag, evading spouts of fire. There are many winged creatures flying in the air. I remember their opposition to me, several tried to push me off. I struggled with them, broke their wings, and threw them into the fires below.

At the end of my path is a man, though he is not possibly human. He is unnaturally tall and skeletal. The eyes of the skull glow red and bats swarm from out of his rips. Once I reach him, he holds out a hand and I am lifted into the air. My body immediately begins to burn, I bleed from every orifice on my body. Eyes, nose, ears, mouth, even my anal regions. Blood consumes me. In that instant my blood hardens to my skin, as I remember it. I have new skin, which is scarlet and curious. I drop to the ground with extreme force, yet I remain unharmed. With this, I am suddenly filled with a strange urge to jump off the cliff which my feet are planted. I inevitably jump...

In that moment, my heart races. I feel as though I have died in my dream. But I look, I have not fallen. I am skipping through the air as though there is a glass floor there. I levitate, I am invincible. The winged creatures fly towards me once more and begin firing at me with darts of flame. I am unaffected, my body moves in an array of powerful contortions even a skilled acrobat could never muster. My arms slash the creatures in half and they dissipate as clouds of ash. The power of my body is undeniable. Finally I drop myself, I am falling into the lava below. As I crash, I am engulfed in red. I am not singed by fire, rather I am frozen in place. I find my body evaporating and beginning to disappear. In that instant, I am gone.

Morning of August 2, 2015. Sunday.



There is a small hill on the side of a larger hill sloped down to my left with a single tree growing on the top and a small cave within the smaller hill that is slightly to the left at first. Looking more closely upon approach, tree roots hang down from the ceiling of the cave. This creates somewhat of an unusual impression that I cannot put words to. It gives me pause to think that, even though the tree is possibly very old, many of its roots are exposed within the cave, even more-so by anyone who wants to mess about in the cave. In fact, I even get the impression of an unsavory character looking around the side of the hill to my right.

Going partly into the cave though mostly staying by the entrance, I discover that the roots are actually not roots, but the trunk of some sort of miniature exotic tree (possibly a fruit tree of some kind). The top of the tree is in fact very green and I now see that the roof of the cave has nothing hanging from it as was seen just previously. Now I think that this special tree may even be more vulnerable than the tree above (even though it is unlikely it would have flourished in a dark cave as such) as it is seemingly much younger and certainly smaller.

However, it soon dawns on me that I am, in fact, in the cave myself (rather than looking in from just outside) and am looking out at a normal-sized tree in a field that is a fair distance from the cave, as I realize I am looking at a blue sky from my viewpoint rather than the dark recesses of a cave. (There is a brief sense of deja vu relating to something about commentary on dream journals, yet I cannot quite focus and I am in no way lucid and the idea of a dream journal, especially a digital one, falsely seems somewhat abstract and “out of reach”). I am wondering if I should feel vulnerable now that I am in the cave and am not sure if I should exit. I do not really focus on the illogical changes of perspective and imagery and placement that I would otherwise just enjoy in light sleep paralysis (during the speedier imagery before it slows down enough to “enter” when a more interesting setting or location appears).

When I was very young, I played near a recess in a hill on Chipmunk Coulee, though the “cave” was not very deep. I remember at least one photograph where I was sitting in the area, which is probably with at least one relative now. I remember the unusual perspective I had at that age (which carried over into some later dreams) of being “between worlds” just by sitting within the entrance (part of me outside, part inside).