All DJ Entries

6/8/15 | Wolf, Tiny House, Island Cities
-1-I was in some cave about 20ft from a campfire as a wolf. There were some dead animals around, but nobody cared. I slept there anyway. Setting: night, a cave near some woods.
[New Scene]
I entered what was supposed to be a house. It was dirty, rotting, and had a DC of similar age to me living in it. He said there were 30 mice in it, so I asked him, “How do you sleep with all that noise?” No answer. Next, the DC yelled, “When the sound reaches 80Db the channels organize themselves!” He was yelling because it was really hard to hear him behind a screen.
[New Scene]
I was messing with an island to give it a couple of cities. Originally, the island only had a few points of light, with the brighter ones in higher populated areas. Then, I expanded it to skyscrapers. As I tried to light up the place, standing with the top down, I added some light. For some reason, only the top few stories of the buildings were glowing. Gradually, ambient light within the cities increased.
-2-This drunk guy stole a bunch of food and fled to some mountain. He wanted to find out how long he could survive there. Suddenly, I was at my grandparents' house, and we were all sitting around the table. Next, I was walking on some train tracks that led into a lake. [Skip] Looking out the window, I saw the tracks that ended in the lake. I opened the 2 windows, preparing to walk out there. Something I don’t remember stopped me from going out.
[New Scene]
I was drawing a path from one thing to another. It ended up a loop, ending at the start. The guy that traveled the path was annoyed by this, so he stole a couple of books.

6/9/15 (L) L2 | Alt Dimension
There was this box that I could slip into and through to another dimension and hide there. The path to get there was a closet building, and it led into another building that had beds and a TV. Some of the walls in both dimensions were covered in hanged clothes. [Skip] I ended up in a weird school that I was going to do something important in. [Skip] Yooka and Laylee were re-textured with TARDIS textures. I was lucid for a minute or two in the original alt dimension.
Lucid Time: 1-2 minutes

6/10/15 | Tornadoes, E3 2015, GameFAQs
-1-I went to some place where I got to play Melee against mang0 on a dream version of Brinstar.
[New Scene]
I was eating some food outside on the coast of somewhere. There were steep hills around, including the ones in the water. Also, there was a lighthouse on the left. For some reason, it was pointing the light straight at me.
-2-Tornadoes were happening at home everywhere. I could see most of them. There was also flooding. There was a 2mph crossing speed limit on an orange crosswalk to the south, and a 5mph one between my house and a neighbor's.
[New Scene]
As I was watching the Sony E3 2015 Press Conference, Fallout 4 was shown. Or maybe it was Elder Scrolls VI. I couldn’t tell. The sky and the area had a blue-green tint(slightly), and the narrator mentioned the Dominion. Suddenly, Source models of Mario and Link started running around. Then, Bethesda dropped a megaton. The announcer said, “Fallout 4…will be…exclusive…to Wii U.” Afterwards, I hopped on to GameFAQS and sure enough, the boards completely exploded—so much that most users were posting only large numbers.

6/11/15 (L) L1 | Pokemon Theater, Alien Car, Strong Bad
-1-There was a huge wooden room with tons of seats everywhere. Front-center: Screen. I watched Pokemon there. For some reason, the volume was turned all the way up, so I turned it down to a bearable level before turning on the Pokemon music. It was pretty accurate music too. I don’t remember the 2 DCs that were also present in the room. Earlier on, my mom was talking really loudly over the speakers.
-2(L)-I became lucid for a moment in a green place.
-3-Strong Bad hopped into an alien car with 2 pedals: left and right. Left was gas, right was brake, and sometimes they switched functions, and even occasionally did nothing. As he was driving, he slammed the brakes, which barely helped. He did a handbrake turn, then punched it in the other direction, which didn’t help at all. Eventually, the car came almost under SB’s control as he drove it back towards his house again. Then, he started recording his voice onto a yellow glowy thing. After 2 sentences, he was like, “Forget it, you guys will figure it out in the morning.” Suddenly, I was on a moving train with a convenient platform.
Lucid Time: 5-20 seconds

Fell asleep at: 5:00 AM


Woke up at: 1:00 PM


Dream:
I think I'm in a warped, dreamlike version of my school, fused with one of the houses from the colonias near my town. It's all the usual dream stuff, just me walking around, minding my own business...


When the DC of my dead cousin shows up. And I am speechless.


Now, I'm not gonna sugarcoat things. Even though this was an experience personal to me, I felt like it was worthy enough to be talked about. It's nothing too graphic or too sad, so stick with me.

He's wearing a greasy looking pinstriped suit, a faded black with light gray lines. He looks unkempt, as was his style I guess. He was always the "cool" one, and often put his appearance first before anything (The man owned a leather jacket for Pete's sake).

Immediately I start choking up. He's on the other side of a chainlink fence but manages to jump over it because he could. I think he was talking about something, but I was too preoccupied dealing with my own anxieties.

"This is the one person I hate so much...How could he do this to us? Why does he still look so cool? How is this possible? The one person I try so hard not to emulate shows up in my dream, without MY permission? Typical. But...there are so many questions..."

He walks around for a bit; around a twisting, almost rotten tree, and peers into a window. Excited children flood the window, and he smiles back. I get even more temperamental.

He parkours his way up a wall, onto the roof, totally in line with his character. I think to myself:

"What do I talk to him about? How different are we? Why the hell did you do that to us? Will I ever see you again? Can you get the heck away from me?" My fist clenches trying to hold it in, and I choke up once more, on the verge of tears.


But I don't have any time to think.


The children whom he had met burst out through the door, and he jumps back down to meet them. I trail them all back inside through a red door to my right.

They're all laughing, having a good time, but I demanded an answer from him (Well, not really but you get the point) and still he had nothing left to say. The children have also done some excellent drawings and sketches on notebook paper, and I admire just how detailed it looks.

But I clearly have had enough. I stormed out of the room and went to contemplate this situation elsewhere.

I wind up in a big city. A parade seems to be going on in town as kids throw humongously large rubber dodgeballs at each other, cars pour in from every corner, and confetti rains down from above.

I don't take part in the festivities, I'm too shaken to even think. In the real world, that would've been the death of me. I walk callously across each gathering of students and even snake my way through busy traffic.

I come across a chainlink fence and think I should climb it, but thoughts of my deceased cousin crossed my mind, and I move onto something else.

And that's when the dream ended.

Fell asleep at: 1:00 PM

Woke up at: 3:00 PM


NIGHTMARE

The dream starts off with me and my family driving home. It's a bright, sunny day, nothing could go wrong, could it? Then all of a sudden my brother screams in terror. "It's a giant hand!!" He says. I look around for a couple seconds and see a huge, white hand pick up a car and crush it in its hands. It then seems to pummel the ground before it, sending us all into a deep panic.

"This is it, this is the end. No. No, no, no, no, no, this can't be real!" I think to myself, utterly frozen as to what's going on.

My mother swerves into another lane, cutting through some grass and to a less crowded lane. My mom floors it, but not before a strange, oddly polygonal being floats in with a plume of dust surrounding it. I don't quite remember what it did, but it killed more people in the dream. It was oddly ethereal in appearance.

But, due to all the surrounding chaos, my mom crashes the car into a large rock. Flames erupt around us, and the polygonal monster is back, surrounding us in a dust devil. A large, slimy monster with a million eyes starts trying to bust into our car, towards my mother and sister. I think, "Maybe this is a dream! Monsters, you have no power over me!", but to no avail. This slimy, green monster with a million eyes starts closing in on me and my family.

In a feat of rage, fright, and courage, I decide to kill it with my own two hands. I try punching it, but my punches felt weak, as if something were holding me down. I then do the most logical thing, and try gouging its eyes out. It's a disgusting display, but I wrap my hands around one of its eyes and smoosh it out of existence. I yell right in front of it as I try to inflict massive damage on this giant enemy slime.

Then the dream ended. It--it felt so REAL! As if I were to die at any moment! It was quite surreal, and I was more than ecstatic to have woken up and to be reminded it was all just a bad dream.


NOTES

1. This was my first nightmare I've had in months. Maybe stress? I mean, I did think the supervolcano erupted today (Don't worry, people were just burning sugarcane behind my house).

2. I remember my arms felt weak during my "fight" with the Blogg (That's what I'm calling it). Another tell-tale dream sign to many people.

3. I think I tried to get lucid, but due to the monsters overriding my power I wasn't able to get very far.

Morning: (somewhere along 5am-7am)

I was staying in a mansion of sorts. Reminds me somehow of Victorias. There was very white pug that wants to be scratched on the belly. I was waiting for someone or some people. There were cars. The place feels familiar from another dream.

Afternoon-Evenng: (around 5pm-7pm)

I was looking for something. I ended up near or on the old place I was renting (doesn't look like it IRL). Some people are renting the place. I needed to get something there or do something. A massage? I went in. Lico was there? It wasn't him at first. There are two other rooms. One room was for business. I asked for the price. I got an answer but forgot it immediately. It was a decent, big office but mostly empty. I thought it'd be great to have the center there. It's in Mandaluyong.

I went in. It was dark but not blinding dark. Just no light but I can see a bit. The landlady(?) handed me the papers but gave it to Lico first for checking. I asked again about the rent. I think I mentioned 18k, but I think she scoffed. I told Lico I'll just ask her when she's not busy since she seems to be going about. I left along with the others. I thought about how nice would be to stay in that place. Then I realized everybody left, and the place would be empty. I wondered if it's for rent now, and if I can get a discount. That would be nice: a place all for me.

We walked down the stairs and along the street. It was evening, and it felt more like a medieval evening with its cobblestone sidewalk, not the light-filled evening of Metro Manila. It's reminiscent of a 3 a.m. Manila. Mostly quiet, few people about. A hint of danger.

We kind of got separated, some of us walking with others. I was kind of in the middle. In the back, I saw two of ours (a male and a female) approach another (a couple of males). The approached male reminds me of a BL actor. They were all wearing black suit/pants/dress. We continued walking.

We somehow ended up near the shore. And then I noticed that some of our group that went ahead are walking and almost drowning in the water. They just kept walking. Some of us realized and helped them. However, an old man and an old woman are already dead, and somehow both naked.

Somehow it seems that some of us were possessed or pretended to be possessed and killed them. One guy in particular was walking and I felt like kicking him in the face. Not sure if he was lying. It was daytime then.

-1-At the B.h., I saw something on the radar, so I looked outside to the north and saw a wedge tornado. I got out my phone to record some of it. It was an F5.
-2-I was on a section of road and grass, floating in space in front of Mars. Suddenly, I was falling; skydiving on Mars. Since a parachute alone wasn’t enough, I was given “compressed air pads” to soften my landing. They were made of Styrofoam. I landed safely using the pads.
-3-I was walking around a flat area surrounded by a perimeter of trees at the edge of the small plateau. On the other side of the water was a very close Seattle, with an additional huge hill with high rises around it, like in Hong Kong.

-1-The dream started out with everybody talking about plans to fly to northeastern Kansas, drive south to “Tukwilla,” drive south into Oklahoma, drive west along the border, north into Wichita, and go east from there and eventually and at the east coast. Meanwhile, I was looking at incredible shots of multiple tornadoes. The first shot was with 2 of them really close to each other, and the second shot was with 3 tornadoes each behind the other, all silhouettes in front of a sunset.
[New Scene]
The picture of those 3 tornadoes became three storm cells to the south of us in northeastern Kansas. It was during the night, and they may not have been tornadic, but I wasn’t taking any chances. I looked at the radar to see where the cells were going, and it looked like they would pass by the coming city way before we would arrive. Before we got to the city, a sudden hailstorm happened. A passing cell was dropping roughly quarter-size hail on the freeway.
[New Scene]
I was driving, and we(referring to family) arrived in “Tukwilla,” in southeastern Kansas. The skyline was beautiful, at least at night. It was composed of 7 buildings, at least 5 of which were standard skyscrapers, one of which was forgotten, and the 3rd from the left was pointed at the top. I wanted to take a picture, but when I did, all I got was the side of the van somehow.
[New Scene]
We arrived at a toll booth somehow. A dream thing happened where a broken, seemingly impassable, almost vertical path onward, apparently blocked by a tiny gate. Of course, it worked, because the car became a plastic tub and could be pulled through.
[New Scene]
We stayed at a house overnight. The far door opens to a junction between stairs, a living room, and another room with a PC in it. While on the PC, I googled ‘PS4 WiLD’ to see if there were any further announcements for the game.
-2(L)[WILD]-The first scene was the same that I left for the most part. I got out of bed, and threw punches at the window. This didn’t break it, so I opened it instead. Next, I stood on the patio on the west side of my house. I thought of using a rectangular force field to block any annoying family DCs from interfering with me. On the double doors I used a second set of green doors and locked them.
-3-There was a kid that ‘looped’ (this is unclear; his muscles kinda warped about and stuff) around 6pm every day. His mum said, “…it’s also the time that he’s open world.” (6pm-9pm, refers to the time that the kid is outside)
[New Scene]
Location: living room. Scene: DC[1] in a huge plastic tub with a cat sitting on his left knee; DC[2] sitting on the piano bench to my left; I am either sitting or standing in the computer room facing south; Forgotten DC sitting in the secondary rocking chair; no couch; pules of legos where the couch used to be; Dad sitting in the primary rocking chair. DC[2] had a gray wishing object, and he wished for something. Next, I decided to test the object as well. For the first test, I wished for one cat to like his sister slightly more. I didn’t see any conclusive results.
Lucid Time: 2-3 minutes

Date of Dream: MON 12 JUN - 2017



Dream No. 131 - Separated Sections

Dream 131 A - It's Just A Pencil
I don't exactly remember what happened at the start of the dream. From the part where I can remember, NN was over at my house. He asked if he could go into my study room to get some paper to write up his trial balance for accounting. The rest of what happened in my house is blurry to me. Eventually, my dad and I did take NN home. Back I my house, I realised that NN had forgot to take his pencil back with him and so I thought to myself I have to return it somehow. I went to the phone and called a certain number which was his home number. No one picked up and so I tried again a second time. The second time wasn't successful either, and so I thought I personally had to go to his house myself.

The dream then skipped to my parents and I being somewhere near the city, looking like an area where homeless people live. I snuck off on them to go and find NN's house. As I was getting closer to his house, the dream was turning to night time and was completely at night when I got to his house. When I knocked on the door, this lady answered with a man and an old woman behind her... I'm guessing this was NN's mum and then also his dad and grandma. Then it was just his mum and she started to get angry at me for some reason. She said that there was a reason she didn't pick up the phone. I then said to her that I just come to return his pencil. Still she was giving me a lecture about something strange. She then asks me if I have anything to say and I end up saying “well I'm not going to give up on you”. I then abruptly change the topic saying I have to go. That's all I can remember about this dream.

Dream 131 B - Driving Practice
Were were dropping NB off somewhere at this sort of party, but then some of my friends were there as well. I was hopping that WB was going to be at this party but I didn't see her and so I was disappointed. I thought that there was now no good reason for me to stay and so I decided to go. Just as I was about to leave, I saw AD wondering around and so spoke to her for a bit. She then showed where WB actually was, she was in some sort of ensemble and I saw her playing a violin! AD and I wanted to actually leave the place but there was an obstacle in the way... We couldn't go until WB lifted her violin bow. When she finally did, AD hurried after me and then the dream scene shifted.

I was now with my parents in the city somewhere. They told me that it was time to pick up NB from “Fountain Gate”, which I knew was just the location of the party and nothing like the real Fountain Gate. My parents were doing to drive but then I asked them if I could drive. My mum was constantly complaining but I wanted to prove to her that I could do it. So I envisioned and then summoned a small dark red car with a pair of L-Plates on it. At first, it was easy to drive but as I progressed further and further down the freeway, I got worse. I then woke up.



Dream Trophies Achieved:
- Chauffeur (Drive 1 person around)

Recall Begins:

In the online MMORPG Ragnarok Online, I am leveling a Magic build Doram Summoner in what appears to be low-TI (level 71-100). I'm not level 100 yet, as I don't have any charms to reduce my cast times for CNM, and so I am having trouble solo leveling without a Morpheus Set or Doram Set. I travel some distance away to escape the mobs and find a location with a small building and seating. The camera angle shifts down, and now I am no longer a Doram, but me. Managers R and A are there, but largely ignore me after a hurried greeting. Two of my buddies from high school, D & J are distinctly present, and I feel that there were others present from my school as well. I spoke with them for some time before the recall ends.

Dream Fragments

There were two dream fragments that were definitely together as one dream at one point, but I simply cannot recall enough details. One was on a serene mountainscape, with high rising cliff faces enclosing me in, except on the back face from which I hiked up. In fact, the entire dream itself for awhile may have just been a nature hike.

The second portion's recall begins with me getting into a fight with a Korean boy about ~17 years in age. I hop into a truck and try to drive him down. I chase him all the way from the calm mountain side into a populated city core, before plowing into an empty department store, picking him up by the throat (while driving) and then losing recall.

Recall Ends.

Early morning , around 4pm
420

At a point in my dream , I smoked weed, and it felt soooo goood , I didnt felt anything bad and when I smoked into this bong like thing, i felt the taste of the fragrant plant it was like some herbal thing, and it was not bitter or bad, it was kinda like inhaling fresh air and some fresh plants air , I started to see in green and exhale green smoke sometimes . I strolled around in my city for a while in that state then I woke up.

I never used the said plant, so its really interesting how my brain imagined it would be like to smoke it...

Late morning 7-8 am ,
Another lucid, low lucidty.

I didn't plan to do a wild now, or well, I have completely lost lucidity before transition, I became lucid after a hand RC and saw that i have more fingers than I should.
I screwed around with telekinesis ,then I wanted to go outside , but I couldnt ,the doors were closed, then I asked who the heck closed the door .
A girl answered , I hear her voice outside, just infront of the window, so I peeked out, with my neck elongated I could see her.
She was almost olive skinned, skinny girl, brown hair that was a little bit curly , black eyes, cant tell if her complex was asian or latina , beautiful lips and a qt turn up nose. She wore an orange shirt, and jeans I think or a short.
She said " I'm your guard. You can't get out of this house."
Then I asked why and she said something like I broke rules and if I try to get out I will be kicked from "the server" that is I presume the dream. I was really aloof and didnt give a damn, so I said " go on ,try to kick me out" . She tried to say something but she suddenly disappeared.
I checked the doors then , they were still closed "damn it " I omitted, then tried to float through the wall, and then suddenly I had an FA.

Remembering that I did a hand rc and realized that I'm still dreaming. My lucidity started to decrease at this point , near to semi lucid.
I suddenly found myself in a supermarket, in a sport shop, I spent the rest of the dream with throwing things around with telekinesis.

Last dream , ended at 10 am, not lucid.

I was in a bus, with a group of people we were going somewhere, the landscape was somewhere sandy, somewhere green, there were mountains similar to german ones.
Then at a point the bus driver got nuts ,and wanted to push out a cat or some animal from a hole with the bus and said that if we dont liek animals we can just simply get off the bus and walk away, everyone was pissed at the woman because that was stupid and it was just a waste of our time. I got off the bus and then I faced some army men getting big dogs ( they looked like a mix of collie and german sheperd, and all of them looked the same) and torturing them killing them, on this way up to a hill, there were a lot of bees and hornets too, the dogs got tied up together and dragged around , some were shot, there were a pile of them, and some dog tried to attack the men, they kicked the dogs, sometimes shot them, and the bees also attack them. It was a horrible sight, at a point , i ran away fastly ,cuz I started to step in bees and I did not have shoes.
At a point I got to a city that looked israeli. And I met a woman who agreed to house me, I saw she has a guitar , a weird one, and wanted to play with it. She gave it to me ,then I started to play the israeli anthem ,hatikvah , with profficiency I never did. No matter what frets I hit, it just sounded right, and it was awesome.
While playing the woman went into her room and I just continued to play on the street until the end , when I woke up finally.

I was in my city, around two third of my dream I was not lucid. It began at home ,then at a point I found myself on a train ,traveling in my city towards the centre of city,
Then suddenly I realized that I am on a train and stop quickly, people are sitting around me but they didnt see me, no one was looking at me.
Then I start to have doubts, why am I on a train? Wheres mom( )? Where are we going ? Soon I found mom. Then the train stopped in my city, near the place i was living , between two lines of apartments, the ground was covered in grass, even the train tracks. It was beautiful , there was trees too.
Then I got off the train, mom didnt seem to mind, and started to analyze the place because at this point I started to think that this may be in fact a dream.
I looked around, and everything seemed to be in place, or so I thought, because nothing was, the street was similar to the city irl but there was some heavy differences, but my dream memory meshed in with the real life memory, and perceived the places real, I even remembered the little chairs i found between two apartment , and that i used those to measure distance between the two buildings, but that was actually from a dream, where I was measuring the distance between those apartments , so when i will be in dream, i will realize that i dream because of the differences between the real life and dream place(little did I know taht i was in a dream here) .
So I thinked, that yes , I may be in reality, but I dont remember how or why i got here, and so I stayed suspicious. I also felt that dream feeling, I feel no pain or any remotely bad feeling, the temperature is ideal(it never is ) everything is too comfy. Decided to do a reality check ,but with telekinesis, found a little trashcan and raised it up. And so I knew that I am in a dream. It was really vivid.
I started to walk on the city, thinking of what should I do, then the idea came : meet with the dream guide. But I also reminded myself of not to get carried away with superpowers and such because that may result in the end of the dream.(I'm a rookie , even if i do this for years at this point , but I've never had a lucid dream more than a few short minutes or one where i had good control )
I walked around on the street and then, I suddenly found myself on the main square of the district.
Now the weather was still fine , but there was clouds, and the sky was a weird kind of greyish blue ,the sun has already set . I continued walking, and say " where are you , dream guide? I've been searching for you for ages ,yet nothing happened" .
Then a suspicious looking old man came, 40's style, he was a bit fat, had a khaki trenchcoat , hat ,and a brown\beige suit, and some other beige clothes. He didnt talk to me but went the same direction as I.
At this point I wake up because of pain in my back from lying too much on the same side.


I've realized that in dreams you have a 'dream memory' too ,and you can remember non lucid dreams you had in dreams. Or at least, I can.

Saturday January 21, 2017 0110

I was riding in the back of a long car like a station wagon with several rows of seats. There were a lot of male passengers in the car and we were all jammed in tight trying to get comfortable and get some rest. I remember being concerned about my wallet because we were jammed in so tightly. I looked out the front window. We were driving through some big city. I noticed two children riding on extra tall pogo sticks off to the right on the sidewalk. I thought, “If I’m dreaming then I should be able to affect those pogo sticks. Instantly, one of the pogo sticks bended like it was made of rubber and then snapped back to being straight again. This excited me! I thought, “I’m dreaming!” Then I thought, “If I’m really dreaming then I should be able to just fly out of this car.” I shot right through the windshield and flew up to about 30 feet above the car. I looked down at the car and the men were looking at me with amazed expressions. I willed the car to bounce up and down a couple feet off the ground just for fun. Then I flew around a little bit shouting, “I’m lucid! I’m lucid!” Then I thought. Maybe I should wake myself up immediately so that I have a better chance of remembering the dream. I landed on the ground on a wider section of sidewalk, sort of a walking mall area with benches. I thought, “I should try to do something fun. I thought that it would be fun to try to have sex. But there was no privacy in this busy city. I looked around and saw an attractive, tanned, red haired woman sitting on a bench and I approached her. There was a muscular man sitting next to her and he seemed like he was her boyfriend. He looked at me like, “Who are you and why are you approaching my girlfriend.” Since I knew this was a dream, I just looked at him and said, “You’re not going to do anything.” And I turned my attention back to the woman. She smiled and said something like, “No, he won’t.” She was wearing a leather top with no sides to it, just a hole for her head and a flap covering the front and back. I sat next to her and put my left arm around her under the front flap and sort of hugged her. But then I felt like I was sure to forget the lucid dream if I did not wake myself up immediately and I woke up in my bed.

I recall a fragment in which I was running around some seaside city in a sunny, warm day. Everything felt vivid and was quite detailed.

There was some man running around the streets of some city with a gun. Police chase him all the time but in the end they were helpless. Later on when it was evening everyone gathered by local store in my home village. The man with gun was there, everyone gathered by the store due to him. People were talking and stuff, but everyone was scared. When the gunman lost his focus I grabbed his gun and pointed it at him. Everyone sat on the ground, somewhat sad. I shouted that they only listened to him because he had a gun, which he used as argument of force to keep them there. The man took another gun, two more people with shotguns appeared. My pistol turned into double barrelled shotgun. One of the gunmen said that all these people don't want me here and that they'll cleanse the streets. I replied that I'll start cleansing them with him, then ran away, found cover and pointed my shotgun at the gunman.

Ritual: I'm coming out of my longest dry spell yet, but it was clearly a problem of motivation. Even when I had the superficial motivation to LD (I always do), the deeper motivation that makes it actually work was thwarted. In time I came to recognize the reason for this. At the end of last semester I started talking to a colleague that I knew was very interested in dreams. Even though their interest had been shaped by Freudian principles, I ventured to reveal my interest in (and practice of) lucid dreaming in the hope that we might have an interesting dialogue across perspectives. Well, the colleague promptly stopped talking to me, and I was so annoyed and embarrassed that it took a terrible toll on my dreaming. Not just lucidity—even the quality of my NLDs and my ability to remember them faded drastically. And even after I finally diagnosed what was causing the problem, I couldn't seem to dismantle the emotional block. I would just get irritated whenever I thought about it. I think this combined with the natural cyclic tendencies of my dream practice—I have too many interests and hobbies so all of them seem to wax and wane at various points to make room for one another—but hopefully my dreaming is now on the verge of a comeback. I can't think of a better New Year's resolution.

I went to bed early last night (11pm) hoping that would help to get lucid, and for good measure spent some time browsing DV. I woke up a few times during the night and it seemed like it was going to be a bust, since I barely had any dream impressions. But the last dream I had before waking (at around 7:45am) was lucid and controlled and clear, if not ultimately successful in completing my intended task.

DILD, "Making Rainbows": I was in a warehouse-like space with tall shelves crammed with every imaginable object, though everything looked old and used. I was having a conversation with someone about the place, though I don't feel like there was anyone walking with me; I think I was speaking aloud, but the other person was answering in my mind. I was observing that many of my own dreams (the comparison suggests that I did not yet recognize this as my own dream) included environments just like this, crammed full of objects, often taking the form of stores, libraries, archives. I proposed the hypothesis that these kind of object-archives were a metaphor for the mind, for the way it stores impressions or information. I wondered if I could put that idea to the test. (This idea suggests that I did recognize that I was in a mentally-constructed environment. What did I think it was, if not my own dream? Maybe the dream of the person I was talking to.)

This next section is ambiguous in that I can't be sure if I had the name and was looking for the object or holding the object and was looking for its name or shelf location, but it was definitely a matching exercise between object and name. The object was a tool of some kind, flat strips of somewhat oxidized metal bent into a particular configuration with a short chain attaching some sort of polygonal fastener. It vaguely resembled one of those old metal spring traps, but not exactly, and its function was unclear. I had never seen or heard of such a thing, but I learned that it was called a "streng." I either got the name at the outset from the voice I was talking to and then found the object, or (and I think this is more likely since I have memories of holding the object as I walked), picked up a random object and then had to find out its name by looking for its shelf. But this is a false dichotomy... dreams don't always divide so neatly between what, in waking light, seem like the logical possibilities.

At any rate, I was putting the idea of this warehouse as a kind of memory archive to the test by trying to match an object with its name. The mental effort took, I reasoned, as long as it actually took me in the dream to find the shelf. Given that it sometimes takes me a day or more to recover some sought-after piece of information from memory, this doesn't seem too far-fetched. I'm sure my archives are, like my physicial spaces tend to become, terribly cluttered with extraneous matter, making it hard to find anything. I actually commented at one point, looking at all the crap on the shelves, "I can't stand to throw anything away." But the details that make this whole exercise less plausible as a valid hypothesis of mental functioning was the object itself: neither the name "streng" nor the metal object it described corresponded with anything in waking life. The whole process seems at best to have been metaphorical.

After this improvised task was complete, I wondered what to do next and remembered, sinced I'd just browsed DV before bed, that I still had a couple unfinished TOTY. At this point it occurred to me that if I'm now taking conscious control of my intentions and the dream environment, I must be lucid, but it didn't feel like there had been any qualitative change in my mental state. Rather, the difference between being non-lucid and lucid seemed in this case to come down primarily to whether I was acting spontaneously within the structure of the dream (as in my former task) or whether I was accessing memories and intentions that I had earlier established with waking consciousness.

I wondered if I should try basilisk or leprechaun, and decided on the latter. Its no wonder that I'm stuck on these last two. I think I have a mental block against leprechauns because my mental imagery is composed primarily of cheesy cereal commercials; maybe that's why I have yet to actually meet one. Meanwhile I keep avoiding basilisk because it explicitly instructs killing DCs, which I am reluctant to do. I have no problem killing NPCs in RPGs and computer games, or experimenting with different ethical alignments in those environments, but dream feels different, like the stakes are higher. I'm not sure why. At any rate, given the options, I went with leprechaun again.

Would it be possible to create a rainbow indoors? I thought it over and figured that in dream, that should be entirely reasonable. And even though the shelves in this warehouse were only a bit over head-high, the ceiling itself was vastly higher overhead: the space was huge. So I started trying to conjure a rainbow. At first nothing happened. I put my hands together in front of me, touching at the sides with the palms up, and tried to use this as a focus to create a rainbow directly from my hands, arcing upward. I managed a weak one a few times, but they quickly fizzled out.

A young girl, maybe eight years old with blonde hair, noticed what I was doing and approached with an offer to help. "Sure," I said. I don't remember exactly what form her help took, she might have just added her concentration to my own, but with it my rainbows were getting better. I managed to make one finally that had bright colors, though there were only four of them and they were oddly separated into tube-like strips resembling neon lights, and shining with the same fluorescent intensity. Good enough for the task? I gazed at it critically, annoyed that there were only four colors. In response, the second tube from the left split down the middle and became two different colors. Good enough, I figured, and started looking for the end of the rainbow. But then that one flickered out, too.

Every time a rainbow failed, I regrouped and tried to improve my concentration. The four-color failure made me realize I needed to focus on what the colors of a rainbow actually were, so I started chanting them as I concentrated: "Red orange yellow blue indigo and violet...." I had a hard time keeping them in the right order, and after I woke up I realized that I had completely left out "green," an interesting difficulty given that while awake, I can easily and accurately recite the colors of the rainbow without a second thought.

The little girl continued in her role as my assistant, and now that I was working on the getting the colors straight we managed to produce a bright, very proper-looking rainbow. Best of all, it touched the floor right in front of us, so all we had to do was dig, presumably, to find the leprechaun and his gold. But no sooner had we rushed up to the spot than the rainbow disappeared again. This was getting annoying.

Just then I became aware of a commotion in the building. We were now standing outside one wide entrance to the warehouse, which opened onto what looked like an atrium of a shopping mall, still an enclosed space but walled with plate glass windows. People were rushing over to the windows in excitement, and through the windows I could see the people outside down below (we were around four storeys up) moving in the same direction.

The view through the glass looked out over an urban street and the row of buildings on the far side, beyond which the city ended at steep brown hills of nearly barren rock and earth. Everyone inside with us was pointing and staring at the hills, or hurrying outside to get closer to them, and the moment I looked out the window I could see why. An extraordinary rainbow had spontaneously appeared outside, and its end was clearly visible where it touched the side of one of the hills. The rainbow actually resembled the four-colour neon one that we had created earlier, but this one was exceedingly large and bright.

The hills were probably at least a mile away and too steep to climb by foot, so I knew I would have to fly. I started pushing out the large square glass panes in the wall above me, wondering if this was the most efficient way to leave the building, or if I should just walk the thirty yards or so to the exit everyone else was taking. (The exit occupied the space to our right that had formerly led into the warehouse, which was no longer visible.) The exit led onto a sort of sky bridge that crossed the road, so it would also be a fine place to take off from. I chastised myself for wasting mental energy deciding between trivialities and decided to just continue with the window.

After pushing out four panes to make a larger square, I grabbed the girl's hand and asked, "Have you ever flown before?" She shook her head. "Well, hold on tight." I levitated both of us up and through the space I had made. I did not feel physically obstructed by the metal frame that criss-crossed between the four panes of glass I had removed, though I felt a bit annoyed by the way I had so blithely floated through it. It felt careless. I mean, why bother taking out the glass at all if I was just going to pass ghost-like through the frame? I realized that again, I was letting myself getting bogged down with unnecessary and unhelpful mental baggage, but I've never felt comfortable "cheating," even in dream.

We flew high over the street and buildings bordering the city, and I realized how startling the experience of flight must be to someone who was unaccustomed to it. Indeed, the girl felt very tense at my side, and murmured plaintively, "I want to sit down." I felt it would be cruel to ignore her terror, so as soon as we cleared the city, I aimed for a flat outcropping of rock at the base of the hills. We came down fast and landed hard, much harder than I had ever landed when flying on my own, so I attributed it to her fear weakening my own buoyancy. As soon as we landed, I asked her, "Are you alright continuing?" She shook her head and I prepared to take off on my own, but even as my feet left the ground I felt myself waking up and was unable to forestall it.

So this was probably the most stable and most vivid lucid dream I've had so far. Maybe not the longest but it was rather long too.

I'm not entirely sure how exactly I got into the dream. I had been drifting back and forth between sleep for hours in the bed, always trying to think about visualization and WILDing, but never really managing as I always fell asleep quickly. I think this time I lost consciousness just for a very short moment and snapped back at just about the right moment.

So I was lying in a bed, had my eyes closed, and saw mostly normal phosphenia. I didn't feel entirely normal and I wanted to open my eyes and be in a dream.
So I opened my eyes, being in a state of what I'd call skeptical lucidity, I believed that I was kind of in between dream and reality. What I saw in front of me was a massive cupboard that covered the whole wall, though it was composed entirely out of drawers. My vision wasn't normal either, it's like I saw a correct main image but then much weaker and transparent copies of the main image slightly wavered around.

I left the small room and went down a hallway to the left, it was dark outside and the light was very dim. My vision normalized somewhere here. A bit down the hallway I turned left again and entered a very large staircase (5m x 5m or so, the structure was very similar to my first boarding school). Around here I tested my powers for the first time, summoning a faint green glow on my fingers. I also heard some unintelligible voices from somewhere else in the building, but I didn't really care. I wanted to fly but I still didn't trust my current state completely. Then I summoned some weird stone, it was beige and glowed somewhat white and it had levitation powers focused in it, and this is when I trusted my lucidity. Then I did something I didn't ever do before, instead of looking for an exit point or breaking the glass, I just phased through it, and by that also through one of the steel bars that were between the glass panels.

Now I was outside, floating around a bit. Either it quickly turned bright or I have a memory gap here, I'm not completely sure. Now I was in a place that was kind of city, kind of village, kind of medieval, kind of modern. Imagine a small clearing and a raised plateau in front of me, there were tables there with some stuff on them, parts of the ground were neatly layered with stone, parts were grass. Around the perimeter of that clearing were buildings which seemed kind of medieval, but the further the buildings were away, the more modern they seemed. There even appeared to be tall apartment blocks in the distance.
I remembered I wanted to do stuff with Ryuuko in my dreams. I suppose this is the time and place to elaborate on her, refer to this place: Ryuuko Drakisu | Dream-Alter-Ego and persistent DC
So I landed close to the tables on a small free patch. I remember a bearded man standing there. Think of a Nord from Skyrim, just looking better, more realistic and having less of an annoying aura. He greeted me shortly I think.

So I summoned Ryuuko kind of as an empty DC, like a model with only the most rudimentary understanding and behavior possible, which is pretty much what I wanted at this point. I think she appeared in plain sight but I'm not entirely sure. Also there were a lot of details that were wrong. Her horns were reddish and on her side, her face was just wrong and from someone else, the hair was too short and had a wrong light brown color, her skin was too dark, had freckles and actually on all places of her body except the face the skin texture was missing, it was like Vantablack. Though parts of her natural scale armor, that is on the arms and legs, seemed to be present and mostly correct, I didn't focus on their details all that much though. I think I saw her wings in a folded state too, but again didn't pay enough attention to them to tell for sure.
I told this Ryuuko model to start fixing the skin color. What it did was a bit bizarre, it touched its face with its hands and then kinda rubbed the skin color all over her body, gradually replacing the blackness, albeit the revealed skin texture was still wrong and covered with freckles, I wonder why.
At this point I also noticed she was naked and was missing her clothes.

At this point the bizarreness of what I saw made me think about what to do, and it seems my focus slipped and I lost my lucidity. Somehow me and the Ryuuko model walked into a nearby shop, where I remember seeing her one last time, still not completely fixed up. Then some people were quite frankly talking about completely irrelevant shit, some stickers and some glitter was around but I hardly want to bother remembering. I know that for some time I just observed, then I ate some of the glitter. Then I woke up, much to my dismay. Had my focus not slipped I bet I could've still done a lot more in that dream.