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A set of recurring bear dreams.


Mid October, 2017

I was in a variation on my aunt F and uncle C's house where a party was being held. There were so many strange and quirky characters there that it felt more like an indoor carnival. In one room I met a woman who was the caretaker of a semi-trained bear. People took turns meeting the bear, warily, before leaving, fully amused by their encounter. It was a black bear, small as bears go but still large enough to do some serious damage if it wanted to. It followed me around in particular and it kept resting its head in my lap every time I sat down. Each time I would feel a little on edge despite its outward displays of affection. I was worried about making the wrong move and setting off its wilder instincts. After the fourth or fifth time I started to even feel annoyed, not wanting to have to stay on my toes all the time. The caretaker woman seemed to sense my annoyance and she came up to me saying, “It is a great honor to be chosen by a bear.” I wandered out of the room, thoughtful, but not entirely convinced.

***

Thursday Night, 11/7/19

See "The Jaguar Woman" entry.

***

Tuesday Night, 6/30/20

I was someone else, a man in his 40's I think, outside at the edge of a forest as dusk was approaching. I morphed to resemble my waking self. I began climbing a large arbor for some reason, treating it like a jungle gym. While I was up there, I discovered a baby elephant hanging from its trunk in the arbor I was climbing. I stared at it for a while, confused by how it got up there. It changed into a bear cub. Das showed up. He thought the baby bear was cute and wanted to pet it indefinitely. I began to think about the implications, however, and I started looking around nervously for the mother. It appeared to be alone out here, but I was still wary.

"We shouldn't have put our scent on the cub." I told Das, "The mother will smell us and get angry if she's around."

Das shrugged. "I'm not worried. Look! He wants pets!"

I sighed and edged my way down the arbor. "Come on." I said, trying not to be too loud, "It's almost night time, we need to leave the forest now if we want to get clear of wherever the mother bear is at." I started creeping quietly away from the arbor and towards a sparser area of trees.

Das shrugged again but reluctantly stopped petting the cub and trailed along behind me.

I started to hear sounds in the bushes and a low rumble, and I realized the mother bear had arrived. For a moment I picked up the pace but continued to try to be as quiet as possible, hoping we might somehow get away before it finished locking onto our location. I searched my mind for what to do in case of a bear attack, and I remembered to play dead. The mother bear showed herself, blocking our path. I realized we weren't going to make it. The bear roared angrily and charged at us, knocking down Das first. Then she ripped into me (which didn't hurt as much as one would expect) and I got to see my intestines, right before my right eye was detached from its retina and everything went dark. I woke up. "Damn it Das..." I said out loud.

***

Thursday Night, 11/5/20

I'm talking with my parents outside on the deck when an adolescent black bear wanders into our back yard and we notice it has an abscess on the right side of its head. My mom wants to go over to it and treat it. I'm also worried about the bear's health, but I do not think it's a good idea to go up to it like that. I suggest maybe calling a wildlife center instead. "I have some leftover antibiotic ointment from when the cats were sick, I'll go get it!" My mom says and goes back into the house. My dad laughs at us and goes back inside to the other side of the house.

I follow my mom and try to get her to reconsider, but she doesn't listen to me. "Well, here it goes!" She starts heading back outside with the ointment.

"Mom, no!"

My mom jumps a little, startled. "Ah, you scared me!"

"You should be scared, it's a bear!" I look away for a moment, wondering about the wildlife center idea again, but when I look back I see that my mom is way out in the yard heading towards the bear.

For whatever reason I decide I have no choice but to do things my mom's way now. The least I can do is try to mitigate the danger so she doesn't get attacked... But this is probably a bad move. I head outside and my mom is scaring the bear towards the fence and towards me. I'm worried it will feel cornered. I backtrack a little and grab a bag of cat treats as it's the only thing I can get to quickly. I manage to get the bear's attention with the food, tossing a handful of treats on the ground in front of it to distract it. My mom comes up behind the bear with the ointment. The bear finishes the treats very quickly so I keep having to scramble to get handful after handful ready. I'm worried about the gaps of time where the bear might get aggressive. "When I say stop, stop until I can get more treats." I tell my mom, convinced the bear needs to be distracted with the process eating to not notice her. It's a dubious plan to begin with but I'm clinging to it.

My mom is applying the ointment to the bear, but I'm struggling to get the next set of treats out of the bag. The bear is slowly starting to look up. "Stop." I say. My mom does not stop. The bear looks directly at me with dark black eyes. "Stop, stop." I say again. Still no response from my mom. I imagine I can see impatience developing in the bear's expression, although it's hard to tell. "STOP!" I'm trying not to be too loud, but I'm starting to panic. I finally get the last of the treats out of the bag and toss them on the ground.

"Done!" My mom exclaims cheerfully.

"Mom, get inside, quick." I say anxiously. I make sure she makes it inside while the bear's still eating, then I go in myself and close the screen door first. Why am I bothering to close the screen door first? It's not going to stop a bear and I'm wasting time... I think and close the sliding glass door as quickly as I can. I can see the bear standing in the yard, eyeing the bag in my hand as if annoyed there are no more freebies.

***

Monday Night, 11/23/20

I'm in a building I don't recognize. My dad is there and says something very mean to me, although I can't remember exactly what it was or why it happened. Rather than feeling hurt or scared, I suddenly feel a deep anger come up as the full implication of the words sink in. "I am not stupid." I yell powerfully. My dad disappears but I yell it again. It seems to be irrelevant that no one is around anymore. I can see out a window onto the unfamiliar street outside. It's night time and raining a little. I still feel the anger, like a raw energy. I open my mouth and a bear's roar comes out, a guttural rumbling. I stop, confused at the ability to make such a sound and feeling self conscious, thinking people will think I'm weak for being too emotional and sounding ridiculous. Then I decide I don't care, even if anyone was around to hear. Twice more, I let out the bear's roar which resolves into a more human sounding scream. The dream fades.

I'm walking in a forest with my family. Grandma E is also there. My mom holds a baby that I have never seen before. Mom walks in front of me and she starts to walk on a rusty iron floor that is elevated with some rusty iron rods, about 2 meters above the ground is a river we walk over. As I follow her on the iron floor she puts the baby on the elevated floor. We walk past the baby and leave it there. As we keep on walking the floor and rods start to wobble as we walk. I think about how we may crash down with this construction. I think about the baby and how it could be hurt. Mom is walking in a very clumpsy way so that the construction starts to wobble even more. I try to counter he wobbling with my own weight and balance. She says that I am doing a good job balancing the construction. The construction falls and I think about the baby. I'm by the river and lift the baby up from the water. It isn't sad even though it just dropped from a big fall. Recall gap. I'm holding the baby and washing it. I was able to wash it better than mom. Recall gap or new dream. I'm in a car with Gustav in the back seats. I have a hair spray and use it on my hair.

Notes: Haven't thought about grandma in a long time. The theme of saving children/babies once more shows up. Mom is sick now and is wobbling forward on her life. Maybe I can help mom balance her life so she doesn't fall? What would the baby symbolize then? Something that mom drops that I can save and wash clean? Yesterday my brother saw I movie. I watched some of it and there was a scene where a boy used hair spray

I've got my hands on a very small bomb with a button on it. When you hold the button in an alarm is set and the bomb will explode in 60 seconds. I hold in the button and disable it again by long pressing the button again. If you do a single short press on the button the bomb will explode instantaneously. I am afraid that I might do a single press by mistake. I am in the kitchen downstairs and is about to play poker in my brother's room. There is a control pass between the hallway and I have to hide the bomb in order to get through. Something happens and the guards get distracted. I pass unnoticed and is able to enter my brother's room. There are some poker men there and I join them.

Notes: I don't know why I would bring a bomb to the poker game. My home in the dream didn't quite feel like home. I think it was because of the security.

I'm in the woods with my cousin Oskar. There are many other people there who shoot arrows at each other. We hide behind a rock. It is almost like The Hunger Games and we need food. I am really protective over Oscar and tell him that he has to be careful. We need food so I tell Oskar that he needs to follow me so we can hunt someone down and take their supplies. New fragment. I'm facing a crowd of about 100 people that is hostile against me. Some people at the front have bows and are shooting at me. I ask them how many they are and why they are teaming up against me. I think it is odd why they are not killing each other in a game where you are supposed to be the last person standing. After I have asked the question there are only three persons left with bows and arrows. They tell me that they are only three people and I think to myself that it makes more sense now. They shoot arrows at me and I use my machete to deflect the arrows that is about to hit me. I wake up naturally but I still have the dream in my head. I'm not sure if I made the ending up by myself or if the dream really wanted me to see its ending. I run to the three people and one shout out loud that I still have a machete. I cut the first one and goes to the second one. I swing the machete against him and the tip of the machete is burrowed into his shoulder.

I had a sleepover by my cousins and was with Oskar who is a small child.

Notes: I tried one of my longest WILDs 22.30-23.25. I got some very light dreams about people standing in front of me and some eyes. I think they were HH and not light dreams actually.


I'm walking in a snowy forest. My backpack is heavy and is hurting my shoulders. I'm walking and walking and I don't know to where I am walking. We reach a cliff and it's no longer winter. Dad wants us (me, dad and my brother) to jump of the 10 meter high cliff into the water. Me and my brother doesn't want to. Dad grabs my brother and starts to carry him while he runs unto the edge of the cliff. Dad makes a really long jump but doesn't make it to the edge of the cliff. For some reason he throws my brother over the edge before he lands on the ground. Dad lands on the cliff while my brother falls down the cliff. I scream at dad telling him that he is an idiot. He doesn't care much and says that he can fix it. My brother is really angry and can swim here (He can't swim IRL). Dad jumps in the water to save my brother but ends up pushing him down almost two meters when he lands on him while swimming to him. I am so angry at dad because it feels as if he wants to hurt my brother. Dad is calling grandpa and talks with speaker on. We listen to the conversation while being mad at dad.

Notes: My brother is having a tough time and is screaming a lot now. Dad is always going to him and trying to talk to him even tough my brother doesn't want to.

I'm watching a screen. There is a man that is talking english about how to be a better guitarist. He takes his guitar and says that you have to practice to play only using pull offs and hammer ons. He counts down on swedish and starts playing some really good music only using pull offs and hammer ons with his left hand.

Notes: I got some inspiration from this dream IRL.

I'm playing Among Us but everyone has a heart over them. You are able to give other people hearts during the game to those you don't think are impostors. I think to myself how I would want to win as an impostor and get a heart from everyone.

Notes: I played some Among Us with my cousins yesterday.

I woke up 04.00 and wrote down the dreams above this.

I wake up in a hospital and I am shocked. I have panic in my voice and asks where I am and why I am here. A doctor and mom come to me and say that it's alright. Mom says that they are here to operate my warts away (They use the swedish word for warts but they are talking about my birth marks). I don't have a shirt on me and the doctor shows me where I have different birthmarks I have never seen before (I took a look under my shirt now IRL just to be sure I didn't have the birthmarks the doctor showed to me and I didn't have them). He takes a laser and do some weird patterns on my stomach that is supposed to help the operation. New part. We are in Sturkö and I have got a big belt over my stomach, about 15 cm width. It has shining lights on the inside that are placed over my birthmarks that are supposed to take them away. White lights on the front and red on the back. I turn it on and the lights really hurt in a way I have never felt before. It is like a burning chemical feeling about it. I walk around and it turns out that the belt actually isn't secured that good on my stomach. It falls down and the lights don't hit my birthmarks anymore. I walk around for a long time. New part. I'm at home and some of my cousins are also there. Jonathan is nagging about how he wants to play a game to his mother. The belt is still there and is hurting. During some periods I go to a sofa and can't move because it hurts so much. The pain goes in waves. New part. I'm walking in city with mom and the belt is still on. I look on my stomach and see how some kind of fluid is coming from the birthmarks. I touch the fluid with my finger and inspect it. I see how the birthmarks are starting to disappear. I think about mom's cousin L who has operated some of her birthmarks. I ask mom if it is not wrong to operate birthmarks. If no one would operate away birthmarks no one would look down on people with birthmarks and no one would have to suffer like I have done. Mom's answer has to do with that the world can't change and that we have to adapt. She is not happy with the world but says that I have to suffer because the world is bad.

Notes: I talked with mom about L and her operations for some years ago and havn't thought about them for a long time. Dad uses some kind of laser to cure his patients sometimes. I usually don't feel pain in my dreams. The white lights on the front and red lights on the back has to do with car lights. I study for the driving license theory test now.

I'm on discord and I see a gif with a girl that is transformed to a man. There is some kind of vacuum cleaner that sucks her breasts out from her. My view comes inside the gif and I see the woman that is now a man but still has a woman's face. She raises up from a operation table with some hospital men around her. She walks out. I become the operated person and wonder what I should do this beautiful morning now when I have changed gender. I am outside my school walking up the street to Centrum. I am aimlessly walking the streets and just enjoy that I am free.

Notes: When I was a kid I wanted to be a girl and sometimes walked in a princess outfit. My name in Among Us is Miss Pink and the persons I play with often refer to me as she.

Notes: That was an eventful night. The dream about my birthmarks was really long and most of the time I was just idling and feeling pain.

Mixed fragment
I am some girl, probably in the teens, and I might somewhat have the role of Buffy from Buffy the vampire slayer, but in the dream I hadn't discovered that yet. There was something with a father who might have done something bad with someone he keeps calling. At some point I am together in some forest or jungle with another girl, having discovered my role. At some point my view flew into the sky, as if it was in a game and it was showing that something is happening.

---

I really need to get aware again, right as I got a bit less aware I stopped having lucid dreams so it's time to do that again. It's just a bit hard for me to remember where I was 15 minutes ago when I reality check, so I get stressed since I need to do it often as well.

Sunday Night, 5/3/20

Dreamt that I ended up in the ER due to some serious respiratory issues. They gave me a bed right next to a couple people infected with coronavirus. They looked like they could be dying from it. I asked the nurse if it was safe for me to be in the same room, especially in my weakened state. She told me it was fine and that "They're six feet apart!". I wasn't reassured, especially since it was more like two feet. Is this even a real hospital? I wondered. This isn't the right procedure. I then noticed there was no medical equipment anywhere, just cots. I laid there, fading in and out of consciousness, wondering if this was where I would die. At some point I found the strength to escape from the place when no one was looking.

An involved plot followed where I got captured by a sociopathic serial killer in an abandoned industrial building. I managed to hold him down at one point but worried I wouldn't be able to maintain control of the situation until the police arrived. I don't think I did. The police did arrive, however. Three cops entered the building. I switched to the partial perspective of the lead detective, an older man close to retirement age. He/I instructed the others to split off and make a little noise to fake out the serial killer so he thought we were all approaching from a different side. Meanwhile I went off a different way as quietly as I could. The surprise ambush didn't work. The killer was holding a gun to the hostage, who was now actually a cat instead of a person. He gave me the ultimatum of taking a shot to the head to save the cat's life. I got the information that this cop was depressed and felt empty without his work to look forward to. He/I took the deal and for some reason I knew that the killer would adhere to the bargain... because he was just that particular brand of crazy.

I somehow survived after taking four gunshots to the head. I was not in great shape, however, and knew I needed to seek medical attention. I staggered out of the building and into the forest at night, making my way down the path. I gradually became myself again. I came to a short, rustic stairway with a wooden railing. Around that area I noticed a few swarms of flies. I stopped and stared for a while from a distance. I wondered about what type of flies they might be and why they were swarming here. I crept closer to get a better look and discovered that there was a dead crow laying on its back and that's what had drawn the flies to the area. I stared at the crow for a few moments, then I stepped past it and continued a short distance along the path until I reached the edge of a college campus. The Narrator spoke, telling me that I was going to be alright. I turned my face to the sky as dawn was approaching and lifted up into the air, drifting above the campus. The Narrator gave me instructions on which direction to travel. It seemed odd to me that I was flying but I reasoned that I must be in some sort of virtual reality simulation. Yes, that's it, that's why I heard a voice. I figured.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

The first part of the dream is likely at least partially a result of the shelter in place in waking life, although I hadn't been giving much attention to fears of getting sick, at least not on a conscious level. The serial killer was likely a result of watching a short documentary on a sociopath the day before. For me the end of the dream stood out the most: seeing the dead crow felt meaningful in some way, as did deciding to just walk past it and flying at dawn. Between the Narrator being present and the realization I could fly, this seemed like another almost lucid. Unfortunately my mind rationalized it away instead of questioning it further.

Thursday Night, 11/7/19

I was hiking through a forest and I came out into an open field, accidentally spawning a large bear as I did so. I had to run away from it using video game controls. It morphed from bear, to wolf, to lion, to jaguar and long story short I couldn't increase the distance between me and it no matter what tactics I used.

Gradually the environment shifted from video game to realistic until I was running in my own body rather than using controls. Knowing I stood no chance remaining in the open field, I dove into the deep river to my left and swam across. I pulled myself out onto the opposite river bank and found myself back among the trees. But of course jaguars are excellent swimmers so the big cat followed me easily. As it came out of the water the jaguar transformed into a woman. She was beautiful and lithe, dressed in flowing white, with the cold expression of a seasoned killer. We came out onto a wide and empty paved road that cut through the trees. I walked backwards and shot invisible arrows at her which made her health bar go down - a remaining feature from the video game - but she was otherwise unfazed. She was slowly walking toward me holding an already bloodied sword which she didn't even bother to raise. She said, "It's always hard to kill something for the first time." Clearly she was not referring to herself. She seemed to be implying that any reluctance to kill on my part would give her the advantage.



We both stopped walking and she informed me flatly that I was out of arrows. Her health bar was only at half. I knew I would have to use my sword and hack away for my life. I wasn't very skilled with a sword. That is to say I'd never used one before. As the jaguar woman raised her own sword it was immediately clear she was in her element. My alarm went off, yanking me out of there and into a waking state.

A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway.

Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories.

---

Dream:

Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly.

This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door.

I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too.

Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something.

Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began.

Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already.

Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt.

Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it.

---

Notes:
- When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens.
- I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold.
- The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like.
- In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point.
- Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems.
- More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too.
- The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.

Dreams from March 10th and 11th (today).

---

10th:

Dream Sequence:

The last dream sequence started out with me playing a female gnome on WoW. Though I had rogue abilities my character's portrait indicated "level 49 warlock" when moused over. The character had a pointy dark purple hat and matching dress.

I used my stealth ability because I was in some distorted version of Tirisfal, mixed with Ashenvale, making me feel an imminent danger of being attacked by other players. I could see trolls riding around on raptors, a few level 60s but otherwise mostly around my own level. I was afraid that this approaching 60 hunter might spot me or become aware of me long enough to then start attacking but somehow, despite the level discrepancy, that didn't happen and I was able to get past him, down a natural slope with a path; as I did this the hunter was entering a dungeon with an entrance like Stratholme's service gate (the back entrance).

Then I saw other horde members, mostly between levels 17 and 29.

There was a river (more like Ashenvale this part), and this low level female orc warlock was swimming in the river, doing some quests by the looks of it. I realised I had a quest here too, to grab some dried up flowers floating in the water. I forget the item names now. Five items of one type, one of another, and some extra item that I already had on me anyway according to the quest log. While writing the initial note for this, my mind sort of suggested that the elf music from Ashenvale was playing, but I don't really remember that in the dream in itself. Probably the effect of a strong associative relationship between the dream's construct and the real memory archetype.

I got out of the water on the other bankside after collecting these items and I made the quest show me where to go. It started to display dashed paths on the parchment style user-interface map that the game has.

The paths it displayed were leading me through another quest first; there was this big, half hewn tree stump, here on this side of the river and inside it there were three sections where I had to speak to some kind of spirits? Doing this would activate something, and then when I was on the way to speak to the third one, I passed by an open area with bright light on it, not inside the tree stump area, but I had to go this way to go around to the third spirit.

In this brightly lit and grassy area, was a massive wooden frame, around a screen of sorts. An image appeared, symbols showing in sequence, once. First, a slightly rounded triangle, then a super simplified four-legged animal? And then, two other more complex symbols I can't describe or remember accurately.

After the symbols, a blonde girl, aged no more than ten or so I'd say, appeared on the screen. She was smiling and spoke to me directly, thanking me for finding her. She asked me a question, about myself, but I don't remember what it was. I do remember an interface popped up with some choices, three primary choices and an extra choice;

- "A sailorial heart."
- (I can't remember the second option.)
- "(Full control.)" :: This was the 'extra' option.
- "Full naval!"

For whatever reason, I felt that none were true to me at that time, except "full control", but I wasn't sure what it meant either.

Then, I could see my character from the girl's perspective; the character was giving the answer, but wasn't a female gnome anymore, but some sort of mix between Wolverine and something more feral.

I woke up soon after this.


11th:

Dream Fragment:

Diablo II. Playing a sorceress, or druid? Playing with H? Remember using the glacial spike spell.

Dream Fragment (part of a sequence continued in the next fragment):

Someone being racist about some fictional game races. Me and some girl investigate rumours and who it could be. We were part of some class on a tour or whatever. Susie from Miss Maizel was our teacher apparently. The girl with me accused Susie of being the racist. I defended her, saying Susie just thinks everyone is equally an ass. In the dream, I remember a dream memory about her giving food and being charitable, and I retell this to the girl.

Something happens, not sure what.

Near the end of my dream, I am aware that I had been wearing shorts; now I was changing into my camo shorts but they have a rip or hole on the front of the right leg, which I didn't realise until putting them on. But I want to change back to the previous ones and then I can't or something.

Dream Fragment (somehow related to previous):

Getting on some kind of cruise boat with H. We were the last two to get on board, even though many more people were still waiting and queued.

H carried on through some corridor. Everything was nicely carpeted and felt cozy I suppose. But then before I followed through, this girl appeared from the same corridor and she was saying she wanted to give up her place on the cruise to someone else, but a crew member (like a flight attendant but not?) stopped her. Apparently the girl was a windows svchost.exe process. I seemed to have some sort of meta-physical view of the dream reality but remember too little.

Then I remember being in our private quarters with H, unpacking or settling in. In the quarters there was some weird dedicated 8 volt and 19 volt power supply, apparently meant for modern turntables and cassette decks. We thought it was odd, and wasteful.

Dream:

With H in a city of some sort. Underground? Looks dirty and rusty. Waiting for this team of people to fit some modular concrete block things, with huge power cables coming out the back. Really heavy-duty looking stuff.

Someone shows up? Or there's a nun, but she's actually a shape-shifter. Turns into a black guy that looks like Zimos or Ruby Rod. He then pulls up two high calibre sawn-off shotguns. He shoots a bunch of people from this team and there's a small panic of sorts. Then more people come down from a ramp on the opposite side from where I was. The shape-shifter pretends to be one of them, but doesn't transform? And then he runs up the ramp to get away. Me and H follow.

H's van is up here, outside. It's night time and fairly dark, but there are street lights. We want to help the shape-shifter escape and grab him, trying to get him in the van. He doesn't want to get in though, and transforms into a white tiger, running off. We follow him closely, to a cake shop. He goes in and morphs into a chef but the other woman following him with the intent of catching him doesn't notice.

We then confront him, stopping him from getting away from us and ask him to come with us, reassuring him about safety.

Then H is no longer H and is a mix of Gibbs, Auron and Riddick, and then I'm not there anymore. There's a cut and I see a scene of telepathic dialogue between the shape-shifter and the other character. The shape-shifter mentions his "fury" and the other character asks the shifter if they know anything about his "Furya".

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No notes, maybe some later.

I am outside somewhere in what looks like a marsh. The water brilliantly reflects the sky, making it hard to tell how deep it is. It’s also hard to tell what/where the land is, as the plants are lush and thick. I am walking through this, giving in to the inevitability of my feet sinking into the water at some point. I still try to avoid it as much as I can, and at one point I am jumping higher, farther, and slower than is humanly possible. This marshland is really peaceful and beautiful. Now, I’ve ended up on the edge of a forest, traveling inward. It’s gotten darker quicker than I expected, and I feel a brief pang of fear as I don’t have a light or a sense of direction.




I’m in an unfamiliar college building and walk into Mike Holmes’ class (different than his real class), finding it full when I thought it would be over. I see my empty seat at the high desks and take it. Now, I am presenting a model - a plain, rectangular, multi-floor shopping mall. I don't think I've ever actually seen this model until now, and I'm only talking about its simplicity as if it is its biggest asset. He seems to like it.

I am at an Oktoberfest out in the woods. It seems like a cool setting and nice weather, and I think the family is here. I think we’re showing up a little late, only because this large tent is already fairly full of people. Everyone is holding a stein or glass full of foamy, light beer. I think there is a ticket system to get the beer, and I get in line to get mine. I end up with a smaller glass that has a handle on it (it looks like a pint glass with a handle) and is filled with light beer. I’m not sure why it isn’t just a stein, and I also thought there’d be a dark beer (I think I’m thinking of a dunkel), but I take a sip and it is decent. I notice an older man with a white beard who is pouring refills before glasses are even empty. I’m now outside (it seems dark out), at a circular table with the family. Dad already has a stein going, but he mentions leaving. I think we say bye, and he says that he isn’t driving. I don’t know who would drive him. I get a refill from the ol man when I’ve only got a few sips missing, saying ‘prost’. Now, (I’m not sure if this is before or after?) I am floating above this scenery. It is a beautiful alpine forest nestled among jagged, rocky mountains that seems very remote. I am maybe 1,000 feet high, slowly drifting forward. I am awestruck, peaceful, and euphoric. I will myself to float higher and I do. I do a slow back flip and unwillingly drift back down, landing on the ground.




I am in what seems like a small office in a college campus with the AAD 180 teacher Hillary Clark. I think I am taking a final. From her and my comments, it seems like I’ve got it all wrong. I think there is a question about a god-like musician, one of the options for answers being Estas Tonne. This one I know, as I really like him. I start playing some of his music on my phone. I ask her if she likes him, and she says no because it’s too slow. I mention that it can be but does get intense too.




Something about riding bikes somewhere with Makayla. She doesn’t want to because it’s ‘too far’, but I’m trying to show her on a map that it’s just past somewhere we’ve already ridden to. I think this sways her opinion.




I am on an asphalt path that meanders through the trees near a lake. I am on a decline right before an incline. The trees are orange and red, intense, but also somehow subdued in the cool air. There’s a gap in them, allowing a view beyond. It is so beautiful that I sit down to admire and enjoy it. I think there are people coming, but I don’t really care.

The dream was at my dad's old house. Usually these dreams are more like nightmares with ghosts and a sense of wanting to leave but it wasn't quite like that. I was waiting for my dad to get back from the garage.

I had another dream a few nights ago in a town that backed up into the woods. The sky was grey. There was this massive structure that was like a tower but much less fortified, it felt like it could fall at any moment. The idea was that someone was going to jump off possibly to hurt themselves. The dream ended up shifting to this modern house that had been abandoned. There was a pool that had been emptied out. One of my coworker's R was there and we were flirting or something like that. At some point there was a hottub in the house and there was a group of people in there that I knew.


Another dream about being in the woods. I had ran up this tree a few steps and suddenly I'm clinging to the top limb of this wobbly tree and I just want to get down but I'm afraid of falling.

This was an interesting dream because while I wasn't completely lucid, I was cognizant of the fact that I had control over what was going on. However, said realization wasn't because I knew I was dreaming. I just knew I had control, somehow; maybe because it took place in my fantasy world where I am somewhat of a demigod. ;D

It was a weird combination of a story about a wolf, and the novel I'm currently working on. The wolf was getting hunted, imprisoned, and about to be killed. But he escaped. His plan was to flee in the middle of the night, but he slept until 7:42 AM and didn't flee until exactly then. Nonetheless it was still dark outside leading me to believe that it was winter. He fled to the woods. I managed to use my powers to teleport him deeper within the woods, and myself along with him. He found his lover, another wolf, there. Two characters from my novel were there, too, who were in love and promised to protect the two wolves. And other magical creatures formed a sort of barricade to protect them all.

It was a heartwarming dream with potential to become an actual story with some tweaking/organization. The night was purple and black and orange, cartoony much like the lyric videos from Anna Blue and The Birthday Massacre. Very cool, stylized aesthetic! It's fun that my brain can do that lol.

I'm driving my car through a neighborhood around sunset time when I spontaneously realize I might be dreaming. I continue to drive the car, talking to myself about being lucid and focusing. I park the car on the side of the road and step outside. I walk to the front of the car and touch the hood before getting down on my hands and knees and feeling the pavement. I pick up a handful of dust and dirt from the road and roll it around in my hand. I want to sit down somewhere, so I imagine a bench on the other side of the road and release the dirt from my hand imagining it transforming into the bench. It was hard to do this, however, so it doesn't happen, but when I look farther up, a bench is there in front of me. I go to sit down and just observe around me for a while. I look up at the sky which has gorgeous colors of sunset with light and dark blues contrasting the streaks of clouds floating stationary high above. A bird also flies over head. I imagine the bird swooping down towards me, and sure enough, it heads straight at me with great speed. I duck out of the way exclaiming how close it was. The bird jumps up on the bench, and wants to climb on my finger. I hold it out but realize the bird is larger than I thought. It looks like a fluffy falcon or hawk with some kind of fancy feathers crowning the top of its head. I hold out my whole hand instead and it leaps onto it. A group of people comes up to me and starts talking, including me in their conversation. The whole time they're talking, I feel like the dream is speeding up and I try to slow it down by keeping myself grounded. Eventually, they walk away but I want to remember their names. I ask them but I can't recall any of them. Looking down at the concrete, I see the small ridges and patterns on top characteristic of smoothed concrete. I get down on the ground until my eyes are level with the ridges and imagine the sides of the ridges being trees with a path running down the middle. As I get up slowly, I find myself in the forest, still with the group I was talking to. The trees sway overhead, but I soon wake up.

The title of this dream is to commemorate my physical dream journal being completed by this entry. May the second journal be more amazing than the first!

I’m at the counter of a coffee shop that looks like one in a town not far from where I work. They seem to be selling small squares of chocolate cake, and I decide I’ll get one with my espresso. I’m hoping that it will be less expensive than their big slices of cake. But the total comes out to a little more than $10—meaning it was actually quite a bit more expensive. The woman behind the counter tells me that, if the total comes up to just a little more, which it would if I ordered a different kind of coffee—but actually, I can’t seem to get her to explain what’s supposed to happen and why it would be a good thing.

After a couple attempts, though, it occurs to me that I’m probably dreaming—possibly just because it was one of those rare scenarios - rare for me, anyway - that’s enough like waking life to where the differences are obvious. I look around the room. I have just enough time to observe that this is actually quite a good rendition of the waking life location before my vision starts fading.

I head for the door, and stepping outside seems to fix the problem. I can see just fine here. I’m now on a street that’s a little reminiscent of the waking life one that I’d expect to be here, but more vibrant and interesting. But I don’t stick around: I start running down the street, then flapping the wings I know will be there when I want them to be, then flying.

I rise higher, above the treetops, then make a strange kind of turn—I ought to be flying straight up, but somehow I’m parallel to the ground in a different location. I seem to be above a forest now, and above me is the evening sky. There’s sort of a natural path here, a groove where the foliage is lower, and I fly along it. I pass a lamppost on my right. It’s an interesting thing, very modern-looking—just a smooth, cylindrical pole with a vertical slit near the top that has purple light shining through it. I note that it would be completely useless from the ground—almost as if this is a real trail I’m flying along, and it's lighting it.

Was there anything I was planning to do next time I had a lucid dream? The only thing I can think of is actually looking at my wings. I never seem to think of it until—like now—I’m already in the air. Oh, well.

In the sky, above and ahead of me, I can see a red light—really, more like a small circle of lights. I figure I’ll go see what it is. That might be interesting.

I fly towards it. Pretty soon, there’s nothing in my field of vision but sky and the red light. It will be harder to maintain lucidity with nothing more solid to focus on, I know, and so I increase my concentration.

Once I’m closer to it, I can see what it is: a meteor, headed down towards the earth. I wonder if I should try to keep it from hitting. I aim myself towards it, but miss and end up behind it. I fly back down towards it, manage to catch up, but miss it that time, too. But, as I happen to glance at the fields below, I spot chunks of broken-up rocks in a few places. They look like the same type of rock the meteor is made of. And it isn’t a very big one—only about half my height. Maybe this isn’t something to worry about, then—this is something that happens all the time here.

I watch as it hits and breaks apart and then land to get a closer look. Among the fragments is a pile of colorful rocks. Some look like red and white crystals, some like turquoises, others like amethyst geodes. I gather them up.

I notice that someone’s nearby—an Asian man, maybe in his 20s. It occurs to me that he might want some of the rocks—and really, I don’t have any claim to them. I was just the first person to get here. I offer him some. He says he’s only interested in the turquoises right now and picks one out—a particularly smooth one—and sets it among a large number of others he has in a bag. I insist that he take another one, too, but then wake up soon after that.

(8.10.18)