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I woke up in my room. It was completely dark all around. I left it and thought that this may be a dream. I made a nose plug RC and it succeeded. I was lucid. I thought "Lights on" and light turned on in most of rooms, however some of them remained dark. I recalled a ToTM basic task about igniting a house. I went to my kitchen and flied into a window, phasing outisde through the glass. It was early morning, still dark. I flied towards neighbor's house, trying to set it on fire mid-air with a gesture, but it didn't worked. I landed on the road and started rubbing my hands while focusing on some potted flowers. They instantly set ablaze. With more rubbing and focusing I set some trees around the house on fire and watched as it spread on the house. Then I moved along the road, trying to fly again but for some reason I couldn't do it. I recalled an advanced task with car lifting. There was another house with a garage. I phased through fence and it's walls and found an old Fiat 126p car. I lifted it up and phased back to the road. Then I placed it one the road and entered it, turned the engine on and drove. I drove along a completely ruined road with huge holes in it. I lost lucidity. I drove to my school, entered a classroom and sat by a table. Again I thought that this might be a dream and made the RC. I became lucid again. Teacher - a redhead woman in late forties asked me "What makes you think this might be unreal?" I didn't responded, instead I tried to phase out through the wall. I doubted that I might be able to do that and failed, then lost lucidity again. I found myself back in my home village. There was some big ceremony coming. I was wearing a black suit. I left my old school and moved to a bus stop. There was a huge bus, my friend went out of it and I greeted him.

After routine relaxation and concentration exercise before sleeping I felt my spiritual body to free itself off of physical body a little therefore I allowed myself to stand up from it. It was very easy. My surrounding was greyish but not dark as usually when I travel at night. I saw the inner light of things unusually bright. I walked through my house finding it empty. Then I left out right through the wall to the empty street. And I walked for some time observing my surrounding, feeling it. I felt deep sadness but at the same time I was well balanced, therefore the OBE felt stable.

I came to the city and it too was empty. The lighting was stronger, the sun was up on the sky, yet everything, every colour was greyish. I saw gravel down to sand size very sharply, each piece of grain, each rock... and I came to the big bridge over the river.

I saw there an angel, who I instinctively knew as angel of death. He brought an unknown young woman with dark bushy hair there and pushed her under the bridge into darkness. I felt pang of great sadness and love toward that woman. And I came closer wanting to come after her. The angel of death looked like he wanted to stop me, telling me that that woman deserves to suffer for eternity because she took her life. That nothing would help her. And I went toward him nevertheless... And angel ran away. I turned and went under the bridge.

There was darkness under the bridge. It was as if I stepped through a border between day and night. Light was not penetrating under the bridge as it normally would. But it was possible to see on the other side to the light. There were people there, maybe 15-20 of them. Many of them looked like homeless people. And there was sitting that girl between them, tears were dropping constantly from her eyes. I stepped toward her, and my inner light repulsed those people away from me. That girl too tried to go away, but I lifted her onto my arms like child, and I started to cradle her while I was walking slowly to the light. It was like she weighed nothing. She wept constantly, and she was trying to free herself from my embrace, but I was holding her fast. After short while she stopped to struggle with my embrace. I crossed the border between dark and light and she started to cry as if it was hurting her. So I went back to darkness with her. I tried to ease her, I was filled with unconditional love which I tried to infuse into the woman. And I was cradling her while I was walking through the mud and filthy water under the bridge. For some reason I called her with the name of my first love even if she didn't look like her. I persuaded her that she is loved, that she doesn't have to suffer... And I was carrying her closer to light for short time and then back to darkness so she would be able to accustom to it slowly. At last, I managed to bring her out to the light for good, but she was holding me and looked scared of light. She was heavier and heavier for some reason. Nevertheless, even if she was growing more heavy I held her fast in my embrace and I walked away from darkness to stronger and stronger light till I lost connection with astral world.

Remarks
This OBE felt great... but sad. I needed to write it out of my system. Even now that sadness is lingering around me... I don't know in this state of consciousness how can one feel so deep sadness and love at once and yet to be unattached to those feelings, but it was how I was feeling there.

Ritual: Ongoing dry spell. I'm not sure what caused my focus and motivation to diminish so drastically, but neither has been sufficient in months to deliberately achieve lucidity. Even when I thought I've been motivated, I haven't been able to concentrate properly, or pay sufficient attention to the stages of sleep. Less attention to dreaming in general means that even my NLDs have become intolerably drab and dull for the most part, and since I've been journaling less my ability to remember dreams has also dwindled. However, this morning I woke up with a dream that I found interesting enough to write down, and I'm posting it here to try to help get my head back in the game.

NLD, "Three Vials": The container in my hand consisted of three conjoined steel vials closed with screwcaps. Each one held a different substance that would change me in some way. I was in a militarized compound full of soldiers and agents of some secretive organization; I was their experiment. Evidently one of their high level people, an old man with grey shoulder-length hair, had decided that it was time for my transformation. I began unscrewing the top of one of the vials while remembering the prophecy:

His breath is the wind.

The method of ingestion seemed straightforward. Breath? Wind? I held the end of the vial to my mouth and inhaled. It did feel like a great wind coursing into me. When the turmoil had settled and I spoke, my voice was changed. It was no longer a human voice, but impossibly deep and resonant.

There were things going on around me but I don't remember the details. I saw a news briefing of some sort; apparently the nation was in a state of emergency. I was being transformed so that I could go do battle, perhaps with another creature similar to what I was becoming. I decided to use the second vial. I had a vague anxiety that I should consume all three vials before someone stopped me: the old man had wanted to go through with the procedure, but I could tell that a lot of the others did not think this was a good idea. I should finish the transformation before someone decided to organize the opposition and restrain me. I recalled another line of the prophecy:

Sunlight fills his heart.

I opened the second vial. At first I habitually started bringing the container to my mouth, but the prophecy suggested that it contained light, so I diverted it to my eyes instead. White light filled them, blinding me. When I could see again, I went to look at myself in a mirror. My eyes were white now, but not an undifferentiated white. The pupils were tiny little pinpricks at the center, literally no larger than if the tip of a pin pricked a hole in a piece of paper. I thought that made sense, given that pupils contract in the light, and they had just been exposed to more light than ever before. The irises were still differentiated, but they were an ivory white and glowed as if with inner light around the inside of their circular rims. The whites of my eyes were now pure white.

I also noticed that my skin had turned white, but not smoothly or evenly, instead it left a mottled appearance, prompting me to comment wryly: "I hope the last vial contains a pore cleanser." No one laughed at my joke. The dream ended before I ever found out what was actually in the final vial.

Notes: There are some straightforward influences, though the dream transformed them into an original scenario. But the concept of putting things to my eyes and mouth clearly derives from the Vive VR game "Accounting," which I played last night. (It was brief and hilarious, I totally recommend it!) Then before bed I was playing Witcher II and noticed how cool Geralt's eyes looked. (I recently finished Witcher I, since I wanted to play all three in order, and just started on II. It is a breath of fresh air compared to the first one.) Having the Witcher series fresh in mind probably also contributed to the concept of drinking potions to achieve transformational mutations.

D1 - I am looking at a third person view of a youth with long dark hair and sunglasses is leant against a wall in the dark, it is a split screen view of the same youth sitting in the blinding sunlight.
On one side the youth has made good choices and has good intentions on the other the opposite.
I am trying to choose between the two as they continually add choices.

D2 - In a large wharehouse style Art gallery/ exhibition centre.
The walls are all painted black and the lighting is diffuse from the high ceilings. I am talking with a group of artists but I feel they do not have proper motives and are trying to deceive others. They see me as a threat and I am chased through corridors of the exhibition. Running through the ground floor with windows onto a courtyard, in heavy sun. I run between their artwork, which is being resprayed from nozzles on the ceiling. The artwork is everchanging to create a moving painting, sprayed in a circular fashion.

D3 - At college a student is trying to cash in a credit payment. But is having trouble. I inspect the note and see that it is in fact an record form showing that they infact are not enrolled and owe fees. Everyone else is oivious to qhat the problem is.
I go into a dark room with lots of big old computer screens.

I was driving a car with my father. We were driving through a forest, looking for something or someone. We were driving in our second car, a black Audi. Changing from several levels was somehow stiff. First we drove into the forest and next to the right, then we backtracked and turned left. But we've drove in wrong direction and I had to reverse again. When we finally got on proper road, we had an obstacle on our way - a tractor. It moved to the side and we were able to drive away.

Later when I was in home, mother told me that somehow they found money to buy me a new laptop. I wanted to find a work so I could get it, but now it wasn't necessary. I asked her about specification, and she told me that it's a strong rig. Then my brother arrived and asked me about lending him some clothes. I went to nearby room and turned on the lights - first the light bulb was blinking, then glowing faintly. I called mother to report that to her. Then with brother we checked my wardrobe.

D1 - Annoying boss is trying to fool me into doing some work, complaining that my work is not up to standard. She is sitting side saddle on a desk, talking total crap (no change there) to a trainee. I ignore her comments and walk off.

I try wake back to bed, focusing on last nights dream, about being in a large house
D2 - I see the white kitchen door in my dream. The paint on the door starts to flake as if time is speeded up or under the heat of a flame gun. The bumps and undulations of the flakes turn into folds of fabric, transforming the door into a light emerald green almost see through fabric. It is now a door but also a green blouse being worn by a lady, with long black hair. There is a brightness, from within maybe causing the see through state of the blouse. The door is now a double door and swings open as I am filled with joy, as it is the persons chest and heart opening to me.

I awake with the vision still in my head, feeling very emotional. I try to get back to sleep but am now wide awake, it is about 4am.

[comment]
I pulled these tarot cards today, which are relevant to yesterday's dream and possibly this one.



The embrace card has a plant growing from deep underground!
and the manifest card as a snake like white energy

Attached Thumbnails

     

Dreamt I had old boss and we were at work, but then something happened and we all had to go down a lift shaft of a building that was a very narrow tower with lift at its centre (had a dream about that before).
We went underground, all that was there was lots of wooden crates. It was weird what were we supposed to do?
We had no work to do. What would our new roles be? It seemed that we were unable to adept to our new situation...

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

My dogs are barking furiously outside, I'm having a hard time falling asleep...
Then a loud humming sound makes everything shake like an earthquake. And a white light shines through my blinders. I feel dizzy and confused. I go to my window and try to see where this light and sound come from, through the spaces in the blinders. I see a pair of beady red eyes piercing me. I jump back with fear. Then I realize the blinders are half open and the creature moves to the side of the window that is now exposed. It is greenish, with a big deformed head and those really scary red eyes. I pull the curtains and move on to another room. I convince myself that I am safe, he cannot enter the house.
I wake up in the morning and go outside to look for footprints under my window, just to confirm my vision was real. But I see no marks. Instead, I find all my clothes I left hanging to dry overnight, all over my garden and a lot of chaos in general, like a storm hit the place.
Then I really wake up in RL.

AAAAA! I HAD LD. 2 LDS. Thanks to the... bellyache. I slept already 9h so I didn't want to sleep more (because I'm trying to change my sleep schedule) but I felt ill so I spent 1-1,5h on my bed with phone and heater. Then I thought that I'm poor little thing and I should go to sleep just for 5 min. Meanwhile I was thinking about that my dreams are boring and meh + reading message from my Dream Buddy (MamaBilleh) who had a dream about flying so maybe it had something to do with it.

ANYWAY.

Non-lucid parts
Lucid parts

#2 & 3 LD
I had a dream about talking with my friend via phone and comp. She made many misspellings, sometimes these weren't even words. I was writing to her a long message but I went to sleep because I was tired. When I was laying on my bed I knew that this conversation was in a dream. Then I thought "why I didn't do any RC, she was writing so strange, I missed the chance for LD again!". And I was lying there, it was dark. I noticed that my computer was in a different place than usual (and some light was reflecting in it). So I did RC lazily - nose plug. And WUT? I can breathe?! So I got up, there was still dark. I couldn't belive that I feel so physically. I headed to the window because I wanted to FLYYYY. I had some issues with going through the window smoothly, it was dark sometimes but I managed to do that. I felt that I'm going through the narrow aperture/passage (I don't have enough words in English ;_;). Outside was rainy morning. I was flying easily, I didn't have any doubts for it this time. So I was flying around my yard, I thought that I should do something to use anyhow this time. I summoned a cat (imagining that he's just behind some object). I tried to catch him but I couldn't. And there was a street so I was afraid that he'll be run over by a car. Then I started to lose control. I thought for a short while that I'm awake but I tried to check it anyway. I was again on my bed. And it worked! It was dark as well, this time I thought that it'll be good to get rid of it. I was rubbing my hands and thinking about vivid dream. It didn't work. Then, still rubbing hands, I shouted a command "Vivid Dream!" or sth. And woooohooo! Everything turned to light and vivid (there were even some sparkles), I was really excited about that (so I didn't pay attantion that it's my old furnishings and stuff). I went through the window with more certainty this time. I thought about TOTM from DV. So I did one in last minute, *fanfares*. I looked at the sky, it was sunset but I still saw the full shape of the sun. And it was unnatural big. Rest was rather normal, some clouds and sky. Returning to the flying, I headed to the sunset. My flying was like swiming (?) or sth, then I changed style to Superman. I felt the speed! I flew up, it was darker and darker unfortunatelly. But I saw a moon faintly, it was even bigger than the sun. Then I heard that my mom was calling me from the kitchen. So I thought that I'm waking up. I tried to maintain the lucidity and I was flying/falling down with thought that I'll gain some light if I'll crash on the ground and make an explosion with rainbow (yeah...). I heard knocking. My mom entered. I thought I'm awake. She was asking me about going to town, gave me a bag and left. I was lying on my bed but then on my chair near the desk. I was confused because of that much FAs and I started to waking up in RL. And I did.

These was rather short, maybe 30 sec each one. In RL I slept ~1h during these but I had also non-lucids.

So excited. It seemed to be so easy! And now I know that dream control and stabilization are not just some additional things ;P And that WBTB may actually help me. FA as well. RCs. So much information and experience.

Morning of February 14, 2016. Sunday.



I climb a ladder through a trapdoor above me and into a small dimly-lit room with a number of gears that are presently not moving. I have a hammer (though I do not recall having climbed the ladder with it). The gears seem possibly jammed as well as rusty. Hammering them seems to not only remove some of the rust, but rather than breaking the gears, it seems to somehow add missing pieces (or teeth) back onto them.

The gears begin to move, more golden in appearance, the light in the room grows brighter, and I soon wake in mid-swing.

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This is about as obvious as waking symbolism can get (though subliminally self-initiated rather than with biological RAS activation). A ladder symbolizes rising in consciousness (waking). Using the hammer signifies becoming more aware of the nature of the real physical body (and kinetic energy metaphorically equating to neural energy - as something shaking or vibrating also symbolizes the waking state precursor), and of course gears turning relates to waking and more viably thinking. A room growing brighter also relates to dawning consciousness. Yellow and gold are emergent consciousness indicators (570–590 nm) as in being analogous to sunrise, though orange and red, in that order, increase waking priory.

---

D1 - Same ol Same ol dream I keep having, different version each time, always same theme.
I have a multitude of configurations to choose from and this time they are grids, bit like a large rubic cube.
each square has a different quality, one seems to represent wheat (must be food) etc
I think previous circular objects meant trying to create unity, this seems like calculating my options i.e not leaving anything to intuition

Woke 1.25am had trouble getting back to sleep, worrying about life
D2 - Was in a room, with a guy with a long clump of fair hair sitting back in a chair, relaxed. Light streamed into the spacious room, a dust haze off the bare flooring. He asked me some question, gesturing to the window. He was signalling outside the room as being everyone in the concensus world outside. I replied that money and material things were not the purpose of life, and meaning existed in the non-physical world only, the world between worlds. He nodded seeming happy with the reply. I hugged him and the dream ended.

I felt a bit calmer after the dream and slept a little less fretfully.

#482 - DEILD - 4:11AM

I have a false awakening where there is some sort of party going on in my bedroom with the guys from work. There's some issue with the Playstation and I have to sort it out. I am a little annoyed they were being so loud and woke me up but I manage to go back to sleep.

I wake slightly and move just a bit to get more comfortable and focus on DEILD. There are some very mild vibrations and I get too caught up in focusing on that causing my lucidity to dip a bit.As I wait, my wife rolls over closer and starts making out with me. I'm really enjoying this and wonder if she's woke up wanting to do it or if I am really just dreaming. Either way I don't care and just enjoy the moment. She starts talking about wanting sex and some other things that surprise me a little. I think this is probably a dream and while I ponder that I actually hear her begin to snore. I realize she can't possibly be making out with me and snoring at the same time and my full lucidity returns. Unfortunately my wife begins to toss and turn a bit and it totally wakes me up.

After she settles down, I try to DEILD again only to fail. I am in the living room painting a mural on the wall. I am working painting a man and I keep having trouble with the white beard. I manage to get it to look right, but when I look away to reload my brush, the different color have blended together too much. I step back to the whole picture and I notice different sections that don't go. The man is too small and standing in trees and on the other end someone has painted furniture. I give up and tell myself I'll have to just paint over the whole and start fresh later. I decide to go back to bed for now and when I lay down thinking about all of this, I realize it's a dream.

It's really dark now and my wife is talking a bunch of nonsense. It's so distracting that I can't even think. I shout, "SHUT UP!" Shocked at my out burst I wait for her to retaliate, but she is now silent. I chuckle a bit and wonder if I said that in my sleep because it sounded so loud and clear. I shout out again wondering if maybe I really am awake. I do a nose plug and blow through so I get up, but it all feels to real. I fall back into bed and then decide to just go for it. I get up and move out of the bed room in the total darkness. I shout, "HEY DREAM!" and then fall into an abyss. I enjoy the sensation of falling for a few seconds and then hit the floor. I realize I am back in the bedroom. It's still too dark, but I can see that much. I recall the make out session from earlier and find my wife. I'll spare the details, but I decided to have raunchy sex with my wife. It's a pretty lengthy segment for a lucid dream. Some how we move around the room this is all happening and end up in the bathroom. I notice the woman has shifted from looking like my wife to looking like some other woman. I really just want my wife, but realize this is the nature of dreams.

I stand up in the bathroom and notice is nearly totally dark again. I recall a trick I was told about and blind summon a light from my pocket. I get some light when I flick it, but see some hideous monster with giant eyes looking at me. I put away the lighter and blindly punch at the creature as I move back into the bedroom. I quickly decide to forget I saw that and just wondering into the dining room. I try light switches and even find a huge breaker box. I flip all the switches, but I still can't see. I'm starting to get annoyed now and desperately look for any light source. I notice the fridge is open a bit and light is spilling out of it. I open and study the food items but they all look oddly distorted. I go back into the dining room and see a super bright light coming from a bowl on the table. It's too bright to look at, but only dimly lights the room. I get on the floor and study the wood grain for a bit to stabilize. Now the kitchen light is all the way on so I rush to it. When I get there the room distorts and morphs and the dream fades.

I find myself back in bed looking at my phone. I have a snapchat text open. It's mostly non letter characters, but there is one sentence. "Fell a distance of ooooooohhhhh". I laugh decide it's a log of what happened to me during the earlier part of my dream. I scroll down but the phone zooms into much to see it all and bar of black makes it hard to see. I notice I scrolled past the word "sex", but can't seem to find it again. I've been taking screenshots of all of this hoping that somehow it will be on my phone when I wake up, but I know deep down it wont. Too bad.

Now my daughters come in the room and for some reason this is so distracting that I loose all lucidity. They have swollen sores on there legs and my wife says it has to be bed bugs bites. Somehow I doubt it, but I get up and doctor their wounds anyway. After I do that my wife gets ready to leave and says she needs to take them someplace and she will be right back. I'm confused, but just say, "Ok." Then my son wakes up and runs into the room crying for her. I say, "Oh look. Mohinder woke up." That's not even close to his actual name, but in the dream I don't even find this odd. I have to hold him so my wife can leave out the front door. It's at this point that I wake up.

Dl1 - In a room there is a vast and incredibly detailed model of a ? hard to say it is so vast and i'm so small or close up...The room is really dark and the model is grey. There seems to be a single source of illumination in the room coming from the side. I look down and there is yet another vast model below it is some kind of start wars space station.

Dl2 - There is a mage who is fixing stuff. |When he waves his wand pink sparkly bits like magic dust float around in the air. He keeps doing it, can't remember what he was fixing.

I'm in a supermarket, there is almost total darkness except for some emergency lighting shining from one corner of the ceiling. Giving a green tinge to everything. I am shopping but i am not along. There is a couple shopping also. A woman and man with lank hair, glasses and moustach.
They go to leave. A worker uses a flashlight to see what they have bought and workout their bill. In the light he sees the man has an ice cream wrapper at the bottom of his other basket. He has been scoffing stuff secretly. The worker in a floursent jacket and cap, glasses, radios security to tell them the man has not been eating a balanced diet.

Feb. 26, 2003:

I had a dream I was back in R__ near my aunt's old house, and I thought I could get back to her house from there, only everything was all different and the city just wasn't the same any more. It was like a maze, and every time I turned around, the streets change. So I couldn't get to her house; in fact, I got completely lost! Then I wound up going through this weird carnival type thing that I don't remember much about, only that it was weird. Only it wasn't a carnival, it was this crazy art exhibition, and people were doing all sorts of weird displays and performance art and stuff, except it was sort of scary in a way. And then I went through a playground only it was a really shoddy one and everything was all broken down (actually, that does sound quite like my aunt's old neighborhood...). Then I got to this one tenement that had never been there before, near where the old hardware store used to be, and it was all run-down and broken down. I met my old art teacher Mrs. D___ there and she said there was some guy there that I needed to meet, because she thought I'd be interested in the stuff he'd done and what he had to say. Turns out he was some great printer or something but everyone had completely forgotten about him in his old age, and I'd barely even heard of him myself. However, I went up there anyway, and he was waiting in his apartment... it was a real slum... he was just this shrunken, emaciated old guy with white hair and bleary blue eyes, he didn't seem like much, he was a hermit of sorts and never really went out, never talked to people or interacted with them, and sort of cranky, but once I started talking to him he actually seemed like he was a pretty nice guy, just really antisocial. I guess never going out and talking to people... they sort of forgot he was there, or that he'd done anything important. I felt bad for him.

So he asked me to show him some of my work, and I did. He looked at it and said it had potential, and told me not to give up, that art and the printed medium in particular could be discouraging but to just keep trying. Then he showed me some printing techniques. I don't remember very much about those, only that it looked like some sort of silk-screen but when you drew your finger across it, it made light, and you could actually etch these really neat luminous designs in it this way. So we sat and drew designs together, and then I heard Mrs. D___ calling me and telling me that I'd talked to him enough now and didn't need to be there any more, and then I woke up.