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Non-lucid, 'Video-game-controller mode' [see side notes], Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

My dad and I are on a bicycle ride together. I've just checked out a thick paperback book from the library, and it's in the rack on the back of my bicycle.

I'm outside a movie theater in Florida, with my mom. Directly across from the entrance to the theater is a small kiosk where you can get drinks in plastic cups. She and I get some drinks from it for the whole family.

False awakening in my current real room. I hear the sounds of people shouting something about a surfer dude, and decide to follow the shouting out to the creek, but decide not to wake my parents. As I'm walking out of the house, I see that there's a bunch of writing in thick, black letters on the back wall of the dining room, as well as several papers with more writing on them taped to that wall.

I'm entering an upstairs apartment. My uncle is there.

I'm walking past a junior high school. I see a large group of kids in PE uniforms setting off on a run around the perimeter of the school.

I continue walking, and my route takes me along the street in my old neighborhood that goes around the edge of the park. I'm going in the direction of House #2. I turn around and see a tiny, cartoon kid with a BB gun standing behind me on the sidewalk. I'm a little worried that he's going to shoot me with the BB gun, but in the end, I ignore him and continue walking.

I reach House #2. In the garage, floating vertically in midair, is a menu of choices, like on a DVD. They say something like 'imaginary ideal' and 'reality' [I think; I don't really remember.] I select the former first, and find myself standing in my bedroom at House #2. The room is arranged the way it was in reality, but everything in it is completely white. [I really wouldn't call that design choice 'ideal.' However, when I lived there in reality, almost everything in that room really was white, and I was pretty happy living there.] I return to the menu, and this time, I select 'reality.' After making this selection, I find myself back in the same bedroom. It's still arranged the way it was in reality, only now the bed has a green bedspread with flowers, kind of like the one I have right now in reality [which I bought when we moved to House #3], except that the pattern is bigger and bolder.

I look out the window of my room and see a wide view of rolling grassland, with a lot of people walking around all over the place. There's only sunlight shining on one small, roughly circular section of the scene, though; the rest is in shadow. I speak aloud to the scene, saying something to the effect of, “It should be sunny all over the whole scene!” The sunlight spreads to cover the whole scene.

The scene shifts without my noticing it. The window of my room is now a doorway that opens onto a scene of an arctic landscape, with a wide, shallow pool of water in it. [An aside: After all those times I complained last month about the lack of snow in my dreamworld, I finally had a dream with snow in it, and not only did I completely fail to remember that I was supposed to make a snowball and hit somebody with it, but that Task of the Month is over now, anyway! Argh.] I walk out into the scene. From the far side of the pool, I step into the water, trying to walk on it, but I quickly give up the attempt because I get scared away by an orca and a walrus approaching me through the water. I walk back out. I then get the impression that they weren't really threatening me, after all. I go back toward the house. My mom is standing outside the doorway, and I tell her she can watch me do this if she wants to. I start walking back toward the pool of water again, concentrating on continuing to walk forward, straight into the pool, while believing that the surface of it will be just as solid to me as the ground is. It doesn't work; I end up standing ankle-deep in the shallow water again. [That's all I remember.]

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Side notes:
I'm really not sure for how much of the above sequence of events I was actually asleep and dreaming, and for how much of it I was awake and actively using my regular old imagination. I felt like I was doing the latter for at least part of it, hence the green text, which I always use to indicate a sort of half-awake, half-dream state where I know that I'm using my imagination like a video-game controller to control what happens. The division between green and purple text (indicating a lucid dream) is mostly an arbitrary guess. Then again, I was definitely aware that I was dreaming by the end, so it's entirely possible that I really was dreaming the entire time, and that's what dream control feels like. If so, that's really cool! I really advanced a lot in the area of dream control last night. I will have to experiment with this further.

I'm mildly annoyed, but not at all surprised, to discover that verbal commands work really well to control my dreams. As much as I love Inception and would love to be able to alter the dreamscape just by thinking about what I want to happen, that idea is relatively new to me. I've been a Star Trek fan for years, so it's not surprising that the older and better-entrenched idea that one can change one's surrounding environment by giving verbal commands, like they do when using the holodeck on Star Trek: TNG and later series, would take precedence over the newer idea that one can change one's surrounding environment just by thinking about it. Now that I know what works for me, though, I guess I'll go along with it.

I had some lucids last night but I didn't get them into my long term memory. I only remember this little fragment where there was a beautiful snowscape, everything was crystal white and covered in snow. And I was flying past when I came upon this amazing tree. It had dark brown bark and huge pink flowers or fruits the size of regular balloons, and they even looked a little like balloons. I saw that some of them had fallen from the tree and were laying on the snow, deflated. The pink looked so pretty against the bluish white backdrop of the snow. I'm a little disappointed that I can't recall more. I know there was large open water involved, and I was swimming through cold water with other people. I remember things swimming past my legs and I was worried about creatures with teeth being in the water.

Snow Dragons:

I was in a quaint wood cabin. It was nice and colourful. I walked up some steps, to the front door, and went outside.
It was snowing, although the ground was only covered by a couple of inches.

In front of me, two small dragons were playing in the snow. I never got to see them properly, and sometimes they weren't dragons.
"Want to come to a place with really deep snow?" I asked.
They said yes.
"Get on my back, I don't want you to be uncomfortable" I said, knowing they were only young, and a long journey wouldn't be good for them.
One hopped on my back.
I looked to the left - there was a huge cliff wall, sparkling blue. It's hard to describe, but all I can say is that it was beautiful. I motioned that we should go up there, so we all started flying.
Up and up we rose, me carrying one dragon on my back, and the other flying by my side. As we flew up, one of the dragons started conjouring blue torches by the hundreds, the odd thing is they looked like Minecraft torches - they flew away from him and dropped to the ground. Then I awoke.

Zombie Corridor:

This dream is from another night. I typed out the dream in my journal, but forgot to post it. But I still remember what happened and I'm posting it now.

I was in a corridor, similar to the one pictured below, except whiter and a little wider:


Somehow I knew there were zombies about, lurking in each room, ready to devour me.
I stepped into a room, nervously - it was a child's room. In the corner sat a young girl, next to a baby's cot.
"Where's your Mummy and Daddy?" I asked.
She told me she had no parents, and she was alone and scared.
"Don't worry. If we make it out of here... I'll be your Daddy. It's OK, I'll protect you," I reassured her. I didn't want any harm to come to her.
Nervously, we walked back into the corridor, and I feared for my life.
Suddenly, the girl ran back to her room.
I quickly caught up with her.
"What are you doing?" I said.
"I was scared..." she mumbled.
I grabbed a knife, knowing I would need to defend myself if we saw any zombies. I spotted a bigger kitchen knife, and took that instead. I saw my acoustic guitar, and thought it would make a good shield, so I held it in my left hand.
"Let's go" I whispered.
We shuffled back into the corridor. On my right, a door was slightly ajar. I noticed a zombie crouching inside the room, its horrible eyes glaring at me.
Terrified, we kept walking, only to have another zombie jump out at us. I tried to defend myself, but behind me, the zombie from before was swinging a cleaver at the little girl. She was helping me fight the zombie in front.
"BEHIND YOU!" I said.
I tried to move, tried to parry the attacks, tried to swing my knife, but my arms moved as if they were swinging through thick mud.
Too slow.
Too late.

I awoke.
Like I said, "Zombie Corridor" happened a few days ago. Shame I didn't manage to post it then.
I thought it was a pretty memorable and scary dream.

I tried FILDing but I fell asleep.

I was in my primary school staff room (for the 100th time) and I looked at my hands and did a fingercount. Everything was normal.

Something made me look at my hand again, it was still normal, but I said "This is a dream". I went outside the room to a balcony and remembered the snowball Task of the Month, so I tried to pick up some snow from nowhere, but when I threw it, nothing came out of my hand.

I went down the stairs to a grass quadrangle, and I made snow appear on the grass, I picked it up and made it into a ball and threw it at someone. Ive never felt real snow before so it felt like the ice in a freezer.

I remember flying up suddenly really high into space, and passing the moon which may have had shared dreamers on it.

My cousin and his dad were there doing something strange.
MEMORY GAP
I only remember when they start wearing werid masks and making a really weird, freaky, almost satanic laughing noise/chant. There were suddenly a whole bunch of people doing the same thing. I started to get scared at it was night suddenly, so I yelled "Disappear!" along with an appropriate arm movement (that's how I control) and they vanished.

I yelled "Daytime!" and moved my arms like I was sending the moon down past the horizon and pulling the sun up. It was still dim so I yelled "Brighter. Brighter! BRIGHTER!!" until it was normal daytime.

I remembered that I had to get to Whoville for the other task. The quadrangle had four walls around the outside, so when I spun to another place, the walls were still there so I made them disappear one by one.

As I was doing this a teacher from my high school was there and said "You look like a crazy person when you do that." I said "Well, I'm dreaming so it doesn't matter. This is a dream.

Then I started losing lucidity as I was waking up, because random half-naked manga girls were walking around the grassy hills I was standing in, and unicorns from Charlie the Unicorn were appearing. Nearby my dad said "What are you watching?"

I woke up to an alarm in another room

I don't even read manga/watch erotic anime FWIW

Getting a little better at recalling my dreams I suppose. I'm just having trouble putting it into words so that others understand.

I enjoy the tv show Roseanne a lot and in my dream for a short period my mom and dad were Roseanne and Dan Conner. We lived in this rather large fancy house and were all running around quite frantic as if we were late for something. It was night and had snowed quite a lot. I remember the color of the night like standing in a street full of street lights at night. That somewhat soft amber light.

Dan, my dad, went out to shovel and warm the cars while Roseanne, my mom, started arguing with her sister from the tv show, Jackie. Ultimately the fight was about Jackie wanting to live her life and make her own decisions and Roseanne thinking she can rule everything, including her sisters life.

I stuck up for Jackie which pissed Roseanne(mom) off to no return. The next thing I remember was trying to touch up my makeup before we leave but not being able to find my mascara or eye makeup brushes that were literally just in front of me*. I kept asking my mom, who at this point turned into my mom, where they were and she just glared at me and ignored me like she does in real life.

Mom heads out to the garage and I see her get into my bffs Lebaron and back out like a mad woman. The driveway is like my bffs where it goes in a downward direction from the street. Its scary with the snow because you slip all over the place. My mom ends up backing off the side of the driveway into snow. The car turns its nose completely upright to the sky buried deep in snow on either side and Dan, my dad, rushes over to help her. She gets out still angry and starts heading towards me.

I don't remember anything after that.

<3

*Side note: I have dreams like this a lot where simple tasks take forever. In this case getting ready. I was attempting to touch up my makeup and at one point its going smoothly. The next I'm having trouble grabbing things, the things I grab turn from one thing to another, those things are possibly things I didn't even use when applying makeup, and then parts go missing giving me this fear that I'm being forced to leave or finish without completing what I was doing. In other dreams its closing windows or locking doors. No matter what I do they never stay shut or lock securely. Why is this?

30.11.2010

I throw a snowball to the Vampire Lord and blow up presents at Mount Crumpit (MILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID


I woke up from recalling fragments and I told my self I had to MILD and complete the task of the month to avoid being wingless. I tried to not focus on Astral Projection for one night, just to get my wings.
I performed my Chest Technique, I focused on Who's Ville and in turning lucid until I fell asleep.

I was in downtown and it was night. I was inside my car with another DC. For some reason, I jacket the car I was driving but I was still parked. A cop stopped behind me and ordered me to step away from my car.

I turned on the engine and the cop gave me the last warning. I stepped on the gas and run the hell out of there. I felt it was funny as the cop was chasing me and we were making a lot of noise. The cop was shooting from his car and he blew up one tire from my car. I entered a very creepy neighbor with a lot of allies. I started to drive through them and crushed on one. I still could hear the cop car approaching so I entered a building. The cop did as well. I wanted to enter an apartment to bribe the cop. I tried to walk through the door without success. I walked to the end of the aisle and I found a dead end. I was afraid the cop would arrest me. I found a very old school elevator, so I entered it.

The pannel looked huge for such a small building. It has most of the buttons from floor 1 to 10. It has some to floor one to 20, then it had one button to floor 96 and other one to 973. I pressed one button and the elevator started to go up making an odd noise.

I somehow knew I was dreaming so I checked my hands. I had six fingers and I accepted that as reality, but I was not sure. I kept looking at my hands and my fingers changed to five, and then I had the thumb and two more fingers. The clarity of the dream increased and I started to focus, "As soon as this elevator opens, I will be at Who's ville." No luck. The elevator opened in a fancy floor. There was carpeting of all colors. There was violin based music and fresh flowers. The lighting was not intense at all. I looked at the carpets hoping there would be snow so I could throw a ball to someone. There were a ton of white carpets, some bigger, some smaller, some were pure white, some were more grayish, but no snow. My dream started to fade extremely fast. I somehow knew I was not going to save it. I need to fly to save it, however, I told to myself that I saved dreams in a worse situation and I was good about it. Imaginary was gone but I still felt my body in the dream. My eyes were closed and I tried to open them badly with success. I was back in the same hall.

At the end of the hall, there was a big fancy bar. The tables were Sequoya wood, hand made and beautiful. There were a couple of DC at different tables. It appeared there were having a workshop of something. The bartender approached at me and offered a drink. I told him if he had some sort of iced-drink, snow drink or something. i tried to conjure snow without success so I asked him. He told me I could summon snow if I wanted to. I placed my hands on the table and I focused like if I was going to make a PSI-Ball. My hands were in the position like if I was holding a baseball.

I started to fell my hands very cold and I had some short of half-melted ice on my hands. I grabbed it, threw it at the bartender and flew away from the window. I was not really happy, as I threw more ice than snow, but I felt it was half a success. I hopped to get to Who's Ville to do the task better.

It was day now and the cops were gone. There was quite of traffic and my dream started to fade again. I performed same recovery than before with success. I did not want to do big efforts as I knew that my REM was about to expire and I was just prolonging the dream. I tried to catch a taxi. I had no cash, but who cares... I saw a few taxis that were full. I walked in the middle of a busy street and the light turned green. I recalled that someone a few months ago suggested to be ran by a car, but I passed as I did not do my December tasks yet.

After a few failed attempts to catch a taxi, one stopped by me. It was a sports car (but on the outside it looked like a regular yellow cab) there were no back seats and the driving was sitting (almost laying) on the right middle of the car. I tried to open the door without success. I did it with more strength and I finally got in. I said, "Hi" to the taxi driver and, "I need to get to Who's Ville please!" The taxi driver looked at me like if I was nuts. I told him, "Just figure the way, I know you can get me there"

We arrived to an odd place and my dream again wanted to end. I saved it with the same method. I was in a home with the taxi driver. He was in front of a TV with a PS3 controller. He told me, "This is the closer I can get you to Who's ville" I was somehow upset, but I recalled that the exercise was, "Steal all the presents in Who-ville and toss them off of Mount Crumpit" so if I did it on a "Who stole X-Mas" game, it would be fine. The taxi driver requested payment from me. I pulled something metallic from my pocket and hand it to him. It was more like a piece of junk. The taxi driver looked at me mad and said, "Real cash, please." I looked at him confused and he said, "All right then. That will be a donation! Have a good one!" He left and I grabbed the controller to complete my task. I could not find the video game's character.

My dream again, tried to fade and did the same recovery ability with success. I was starting to get mad. The dream was too long and trying to end and I was not done. I felt a chill around my body and I realized I was inside the game. The ground was covered by snow and it was snowing. The place looked quite creepy, but at the same time, it looked very X-Mas. I knew I was in Who's Ville. I saw a Who's entering his house and it was very dark outside. I told to my self about how I was going to steal all the presents. I did not feel like entering home by home. I tried to make all the presents to come out the homes from the chimney. I soon started to see colored wrapped boxes... a tone of them, flying from the homes, to me. To make sure I had success, I hit the ground to break the houses. The houses broke and they were totally empty. Not even furniture, however, a few of them had Who's inside.

I was wondering how the hell I was going to carry all the gifts. I suddenly saw a huge DC next to me. He wore a black cape and had a very mean look. He had claws and a black face. He had vampire teeth and red eyes. He took my stolen presents and flew away. He was very far in no time and I was upset. My dream again started to fade and I allowed it to end. Four out of five of my senses were gone, but I still felt the chill. I realized there was still chance to recover it. I felt double consciousness, as I felt my body in bed, but I focused really hard, it was a long dream and I had to end it with success.

I was in a huge room on the top of a mountain. It was snowing hard and there was a dense fog. The vampire had the presents behind him and he was laughing. I approached at him but he attacked me. I avoided his attacks and saw a metallic barrel. I grabbed it and it had some sort of liquid inside. I rose it and aimed at the vampire. The vampire's face was black and metallic. He had a very mean look but I was not afraid as I was dreaming it. I approached more at him and he said, "Its fine. Do not throw that at him, get your stupid presents." The presents were piled up in a small cart and I was super happy. I was about to leave to grab the presents, however, I grabbed snow from the ground, made a ball and threw it at the Vampire's face. I was more happy as I felt that the first task was now properly done. Dream once more started to fade, I was very close to awakening, but I could stay in the dream. The clarity was not very good, and I did another RC to make sure I was grounded in the dream. The clarity increased a little.

I was at the top of Mount Crumpit. I could see Who's Ville from there. It was funny because all the houses were all fine now and it did not look as creepy. The quality of the dream decreased and started to drop, so I just tossed the cart down the mountain. I was not sure if just tossing was fine or if I needed to destroy them. When the cart was going down, I made a fireball and blew up the presents to make sure I did not miss a thing.

Now that I was done with both tasks I attempted to Astral Project from the lucid, but I knew I was going to fail as the dream quality now was minimum.

Before I even attempted, I had a FA in my room. I could not see but I felt my wife and someone else was trying to wake me up. I could not move in bed, I could hear only my wife's voice. I woke up for real.

11/22/2010
"Undergroundwater"

I was in a small, snow-covered town. The town was very close-knit, and everybody was friends with everybody else. Many of us were playing a huge game of manhunt (Thanks to Sam and Lisa, for bringing that up!), and some people were even burying themselves in the snow, for hiding places. I remember one of my female friends changing clothes and trying to blend in with those pedestrians who weren't playing. I don't remember much of the game, itself, besides digging through the snow and tryin to find some of the people hiding within it.

At one point, though, a bunch of us ended up falling into what seemed like some sort of mine/tomb, deep underground. It was a huge chamber, with story-telling drawings and other enigmatic patterns on the walls. We spent a while exploring this chasm, joined by many other townsfolk, who had followed us down below. After some time of poking around the chamber, someone pressed a 'button' that activated some sort of mechanism. The floor beneath us began rumbling. Fire jetted upward, like geysers, from all points around the area. The fire spouts gave way to small explosions, which were soon too much to withstand. We all ran off of the rectangular floor area, fleeing the basin and up to higher ground, looking down at the spectacle below us. The ground opened up; black stone cracking down the middle and splitting apart to swallow the flames. Beneath a few feet of stone lay a crystalline pool of water. It was, easily, half the size of a football field, and took up most of the chamber. The slabs of stone flooring peeled away and locked into place, out of sight, leaving us all to stare, in awe, at this huge pool that had opened before us.

This was just too weird. The 'tomb.' The huge, underground pool. The spectacularly explosive 'booby trap.' The realization just hit me, as we were all standing there, gawking in apprehensive awe. I was dreaming. It was the only logical explanation. As soon as I became lucid, my excitement rang out through the chasm. I yelled out to everyone - knowing that they were all stricken with fear - that "THIS IS A DREAM!! IT'S NOT REAL!!" I seemed to have been more reminding myself of the fact, than actually trying to get a point across, to these dream characters. But they all took it as just as much a relief as I did.

I led the charge, and we all ran down the steps toward the enormous pool, jumping into the water with no further anxiety about what might have come from the explosive chain reaction we'd just witnessed. It instantly turned into an enormous pool party - our dozens of party-goers secluded away within this cavern of ice and stone. Even though the pool seemed to be just a hole in the earth, it was clearly marked with the paintings of a regulation swimming pool, as if just swimming in it was the main reason for it being there.

While in the water, I was showing the DC's some "lucid tricks." I focused on my own body, and lifted myself out of the water with telekinesis, hovering just a few inches over the surface. Everyone looked on, in wonder, while I floated above the water. I felt really heavy, and wasn't sure that I could keep myself hovering, the way that I was, so I decided to get a little more control of the situation. I released my telekinetic hold on myself, dropping into the water and sinking down to the floor of the 15-or-so-feet-deep pool. Once my feet touched the ground, I pushed off as hard as I could, bursting up through the surface of the water and soaring up to the ceiling - some 30+ feet above. I slapped my hands against the warm stone ceiling and pushed myself back down into the water below. There were a few other people in the crowd copying me, flying up and out of the water, touching the ceiling and splashing back down, afterward.

After some playing around, I got out of the water and walked around the area. Everyone was having a great time. I saw that some of the characters had gotten into some vampiric hedonism; slumped in a corner with blood streaming down their faces, obviously having fed on each other just because it was something to pass the time. (I would call that random, if not for the vampire dream I had, the other night.) They all looked completely drunk. I just walked passed them and continued on, taking in the sight of my surroundings. One of the girls in the group called me over to her, asking me if I wanted to go back to her place for some "one on one lucid fun." I just kind of smiled at her and waved her off, not wanting to waste this lucid on sex - though the thought crossed my mind.

Much more time had passed, and I began to realize that I'd probably be waking up soon. By this time, my lucidity began waning. Even though I still knew I was dreaming, I was thinking of these dream characters more as sentient beings. I called an assembly together, and made a small speech, simply conceding to the possibility that these could all be conscious entities within my dream. I told them all to "remember the dream", because we would soon be waking up, and our memories of this moment would be fading quickly. I told them to go back over the events of the dream, in their minds. I told them to remember the game of manhunt, and falling into the mine, etc. - basically recounting all of the events in the dream. Above all else, I knew that I would be waking up soon, so I wanted to just go ahead and end it. Not really wanting to leave everyone else, I gathered a group of them in the center of the chamber, and we all lowered our heads. When I was sure I had enough of the dream's details to carry over into waking life, I put all of my energy into waking up, and pulled my eyes open.


Dream (Fragment) Two:
I was at my old house, in Canterbury. A pizza woman - and what I can only describe as her bodyguard - walked into the house, with a large stack of pizza boxes. They said that they had "like 1000 pizzas here, for free, if [we] wanted them." She also told us that the only catch was that the crust was like 2 months old. I wasn't very comfortable with this, but someone (I believe it was MW) said that he'd be more than happy to take them.

Later, we were hanging out, outside my house, with a bunch of people - some of which, I think, were from the previous dream. My daughter was with us, and she kept wanting to fall asleep on the ground, and kept rolling around in the spot of oil in the garage. After a while, my mom came home, and - for some reason - she hung most of my artwork upon the wall, in the house; just various, loose sheets of paper tacked to the wall, all over the living room.

Don't remember anything after that.

The dream starts off with me and one of my friends sitting on the ground outside of a school I don't recognize. However, it's a relatively small school and I do recognize that's it's not one that I've ever seen before. While we sit outside in the grass in silence, my mother suddenly appears and tells me to go pull up the car for her. I'm upset with her for a while because I was quite enjoying the aspect of remaining lazy, but my friend offers to go with me and so we go.

I don't actually remember walking through the school, but we are soon exiting into the other side, which seems to be sort of like the interior part of the grounds. Although I don't recall it having snowed in my dream, this whole area is covered in it. However, this is not where the car seems to be parked. To get to the car, we are required to go through these series of mazes within a cave. Before we go through the mouth of the beginning of this cave, a guy about my age appears and offers my friend and I a jacket if we allow him to accompany us. Seeing no harm in the matter, we allow him to do so. We put the coats on, and even though I had not noticed a temperature before, we seem to be much warmer with the newly added garments.

It seems to take us a while to get through the caves, although we never seem to get lost. Finally we come across my mom's car sitting alone inside a wide open area of the cave. Strangely enough, the guy who traversed with us suddenly attacks us. As we fight with him I ask him why he was doing so, but I can't recall the answer he gave me. My friend helps me to overpower this guy, and we quickly jump int car and drive off. As soon as we return into the maze of caves to make our way to the outside, I instantly am pulled from my dream and I'm awake.

(Good -- um... afternoon, everybody. On the weekdays, I usually write my dreams in the morning, on my subway ride in to work. But this morning I didn't think I remembered any dreams.

Then, sitting at work (really stressing over something, in fact), I suddenly recalled this dream. Weird.

The dream is weird. I'd say at least part of the influence on it is the fact that over the past couple days I've been reading Jack Kerouac's Book of Dreams. In one dream, Kerouac meets Dinah Shore. That dream was so charming, I think I also wanted to have a dream where I met a celebrity. So my unconscious obliged... kinda.)

Susan Faludi was out in the desert doing research on a new book she was writing. The book was similar to The Terror Dream. But this book had less to do with feminism and more to do with some general national conspiracy. I probably identified with Faludi or saw through her eyes.

Faludi had discovered whatever it was she had been trying to discover. She may now have been standing by her car in an empty road in the middle of the desert. Faludi may have slammed down the trunk or hatchback of her car with an air of finality.

She intended to go somewhere. Instead of taking her car, which now may not even have existed, she flew up into the air, possibly by means of a red and white striped parachute.

She flew away to her right, along the road. She knew that she actually needed to head along the road, but in the opposite direction. She flew over a small overpass. This overpass was a landmark telling her she was definitely going in the wrong direction.

The wind was carrying her in this direction, although she "had control" over "her power of flight." She kept telling herself that she would work up the momentum of the wind in order to get swinging around in the correct direction.

But she kept flying and flying in the wrong direction. It was now night. Faludi was in the woods. It was cold and snowing. Still flying along the highway, I/Faludi (I definitely was part of her decision making process here) saw a billboard. The billboard was on a 50-foot tall, steel column.

I knew that if I/she grabbed on to the guard rail in front of the walkway before the billboard, I/she could stop the uncontrolled flight and at least get my/her bearings. So Faludi grabbed the railing and did some kind of elastic flip onto the walkway before the billboard.

The walkway was snowy and lit by a few fluorescent flood lamps. Othewise, everything was snowy, cotton-grey dark. Some pine trees may have reached as high as the billboard.

Faludi huddled behind some weird, clear, plastic rectangle which I figured was some kind of a solar panel for powering the billboard's lights. Faludi thought she could call someone, perhaps her husband, to pick her up here. But it was just so cold, and she felt like it would take forever for someone to get here.

I had a false awakening. I was going about my "daily life" when somebody, possibly my mother, told me that Susan Faludi had died. I was really surprised and upset. I regretted the fact that I'd never gotten to meet her.

But it also seemed weird that Faludi should have died. She had always seemed like such a healthy person to me.

Somehow I saw a photo of her -- possibly on the web. The photo showed Faludi in a motorized wheelchair, like they have at the front of grocery stores, the kind that look almost like cars or scooters with baskets on the front. Faludi was overweight, with short, grey hair. She wore a white t-shirt and black slacks, both of which were sloppy and tight on her.

Again, this didn't make sense. I thought, There's no way Faludi could have changed this quickky. I began to doubt seriously whether Faludi was in fact dead.

(Just one small note on this, from November 14th. After looking at some news images, I realize that the image Susan Faludi is hiding behind in the snow is a teleprompter. I'm not sure why a teleprompter is hanging out on a billboard. And I'm not sure why I thought it was a solar panel.

But, then again, I'm still not sure why this dream involved Susan Faludi. The actions in this dream are completely the opposite of what I feel Falud's actions would be. They're more like what I think my own actions would be. So maybe the dream is saying I wish I was like Susan Faludi, but that I'm just still horribly, embarrassingly like myself. Oh, well.)

I hadn't dreamed last night, so after waking up, I took a nap, and fell straight from closing my eyes into a LD, which surprised me seeing as I've only ever had 1 LD before this.

Anyway, I opened my eyes and was standing on a cobbled street. It looked like the main road through my village, except in olden times, and someone rode through on a horse and cart. Standing there, I suddenly thought, I'm dreaming. I remember really vividly the beating of my heart as I got excited. I decided to try out some of the things people often do in lucid dreams. I crossed the street and walked through a wall. On the other side there was just blackness, so I imagined a sweet shop, and it appeared. Still not used to walking through walls, I left through the door and flew through the street. My first time flying. I decided I wanted some adventure. I landed in a snowy area off the road. A car and a van drove towards me on either side of me. A huge crowd had gathered, and they were screaming at me to run. I saw a locked door and tried to walk through it, but I was too excited and scared. I ran away, and a man got out of the lorry and jumped on a beautiful wild horse to chase me. People were cheering me on. I remember feling so glad to have come to this world, for somer reason. I kicked the man in a rush of adrenaline, and he fell off his horse. The horse was panicked. I wanted to calm it and ride it, so I chased it. It ran down a valley of snow. I had almost got it, when everything went black. I realised aftr a minute that I had woken up.

Hours of sleep: 9.0 (Yeah! )
Vividness: 2/5
Recall: 1/5 (O no! )

I'm walking through a snowy street. Next to me is a girl: it's an ex-classmate. We are talking about something, I don't really know about what. Only thing I remember is, that I tried to develop our superficial relationship, which is limited to "Hello! I'm ok! And you? How was your week" , to something more deep. I tried to make some jokes as I use to do. But she doesn't even smiles....
I get a bit disappointed and I feel that I'm loosing her attention. So I think about doing something weird.
While walking, I let fall myself at the ground and pretend that I slipped out on the ice.
Note: Where the hell does the snow comes from? No snow has been falling since February.
I'm lying on the ground and I'm spinning around. I stretch my arm out, that she can help me to get up. But I wanted to make her fall by pulling her hand.
Note: What was I thinking? That makes no sense!
Only problem is this: She doesn't gives a damn! She looks at me as I'm spinning stupidly around on the ground.
This keeps on going a few seconds, a lot of people come around and watch my performance. She simply goes away.
I try to get up on my own and let fall my purse. I see that an hobo picks it up. He gives it me back. I thank him and he goes away. I look in it and I see that my credit card is missing. I start shouting to catch the people's attention on the hobo, but they didn't move and just look at me stupidly

The End.
PS: When I see this hobo again, I'm going to kick his ass!

My mom suggested that I take a Spanish class at the community college. I didn't really want to go into Spanish, so I decided not to. I walked around the small college, which was probably the size of a small house, and found a cute porch. The porch was a slab on concrete with a fence built around it, but off of the porch was a steep, snowy hill. I decided to sled.

As I was sledding, I realized that I was probably somewhere in the mountains. The hill had become less steep, but I couldn't see an end to it. I picked up a lot of speed, and the natural scenery was beautiful. As the wind continued to whip my cheeks as I sledded in my little purple sled, I saw 2 figures in front of me. I put my leg out to stop the sled before I hit them, but the force was too strong. Fortunately, the impact wasn't too bad.

"Watch where you're going." One of them says. I don't remember if both of them were boys, but I know that at least one was a male and the other could have been a female. I wondered what they were doing out here. Looking around me, I noticed that the entire perimeter was composed of just a snowy wasteland. Snow and mountains as far as the eye could see.



"What are you guys doing out here? Would you like to sled with me?" I asked, noticing that I could see my breath.

"We're on a mission," One of them says sternly. He looks out to the horizon.

"Well, the sledding out here is really fun." I say. The two begin arguing amongst themselves.

"How did we manage to even get here?" One of them says.

"I thought that the library was that way..." The other person responds.

"Well I don't see a library out here!" He shouts.

"No shit captain obvious!"

"We're in the middle of freaking nowhere thanks to you."

"You're always blaming this shit on me!"

"If you guys are lost, seriously, the sledding here is really nice and fast," I said, interrupting their argument.

"Looks like we have no choice," One of them says reluctantly. Somehow they both have sleds.

We continue sledding down the hill until we reach the bottom. At the bottom there is a small stream which leads into a large pond. The two begin arguing again. I decide to leave them there.

After climbing horizontally up the hill, I come to a library (Hahahaha). I want to research where I was, so I look for books about the mountains. Instead, I find a book about Blind Justice (~Torn Souls, Hurt Faiths~). Inside the books are beautiful pictures from the story, and I am amazed that our library has this. It explains the story in depth and I was surprised at the book's version of the story.

Some fragments:

Driving a white pick-up truck frantically down a freeway trying to get away from a dinosaur. (giant raptor) It was gaining on me be I was coming to an overpass and hoping he would get stuck. It suddnely occured to me that I was being overly optimistic and that I could really die. Don't remember how I got out of that one.

Decided to get back together w/ D4. Felt happy, but worried I was making a mistake. He was always nice to me, I kept thinking.

In NM for a family gathering. I had to leave the next morning. I was at the pool hanging out with my Mom. I asked her which bathroom was hers (we were all staying at someone else's house?) so I could use her shampoo and stuff when I showered. There was a giant lizard/miniature dinosaur in the pool, perhaps two of them- slowly moving towards me no matter where I went. They werent aggressive but it was making me nervous because the were definitely following me. I showed Mom. Went inside to shower, wondering what time i had to leave the next day.

Awoke int he middle of the night and looked out of the window. There were lights in the sky and it was tinted pink, and fist-sized rocks were floating in clumps about 5 feet off of the ground. I told my little sis J who was in the room with me and I looked for my camera. By the time I got my camera outside, most to all of the rocks were not floating anymore. I tried to take pictures, but the camera only worked sometimes. The entire family came out. It started getting light and then began to snow. I saw the first flakes form in the sky and fall down in front of me. I continued to take pictures of the family, some turning out distorted, but neat-looking. Someone pointed out a squirrel across the street. My brother was interacting with it. I took a pic, it ran, and my bro ran after it. There was a tiny horse- maybe 2-3 inches long- lying in the dirt. My mom pointed it out and I tried to photograph it, but through the lens I saw 2 other horse-like creatures getting in my way so I couldnt see the tiny horse and someone mentioned that the larger ones were trying to eat the little one and I walked away without looking. I felt it was too late to save him, as others were looking and telling me what was going on. I decided that this wasnt what I came outside for and I was going back in.

Good morning

(I think this is a single dream, because I can't remember waking up at any time. Usually I do remember waking up between dreams.)

I was with a woman about my age. She was my friend. I had helped her out with some kind of work, possibly homework. Now I was walking with her into her workplace.

She took me around the building. The buidling she worked in was some kind of official building, and access to it was somewhat restricted. I had always wanted to see inside. Since I had helped her with her work, my friend took me on a private tour.

We got to some wall-sized window that was as wide as a hallway. It looked out across a small courtyard and across to another wall of the building. It was late afternoon, and the windows on the opposite wall were orange with sunset.

I knelt down, possibly to write something in a notebook. But I soon realized that my friend had to get to work. She had been kind enough to show me around, I thought, and I shouldn't take up any more of her time.

We walked to a big, black-stone, triangular front desk in a huge, glass-walled lobby. My friend worked here as something like a security guard.

I now walked toward the doors, through a moderately busy crowd of business people.

I was outside the building. It may have been early afternoon. The light was a dimmish grey-blue in the shade of the building.

I was waiting for a friend. Now I saw her. She looked like my old friend P. She may have been walking with a tall, handsome, blonde businessman.

My friend and I started talking. We walked into a building adjacent to the one I had just left. The lobby of this building was huge as well, but without any windows. The fluorescent light made everything look a little greenish and dirty.

To my left I saw one of my old co-workers, MD, walking past. I went to catch up and say hi. But when I got up to the person, he turned out to be someone completely different. I greeted him anyway. He said I was confused and walked on.

I went back to my friend and told her that MD always did stuff like that, pretending to be somebody else. I laughed a little.

I was now in a cafeteria. I sat in a small, booth-style seat. A line of people behind my seat, running along the food-serving counter, just kept getting longer and longer. It didn't seem like anybody was getting served.

I heard some man and woman in line talking about a movie called Schizophrenia. I got excited, thinking I recognized the movie. I went to the man and woman and asked, "Were you just talking about Schizophrenia, the movie by Dario Argento?"

(I think I meant the movie Suspiria.)

The man and woman just stared at me blankly, as if they didn't know how to respond, and they didn't want to speak to me, while they also didn't want to be rude. I felt ashamed, so I walked away.

As I was thinking of leaving the cafeteria altogether, a man called out to me, "Hey! You like to movie Schizophrenia?"

I said, "Yeah."

I turned to the man, who was leaning on a trashcan. He was tall, pale, with jaw-length, greying brown hair and a broad face. He wore a tan jacket.

The man started telling me how insane it was to work on the set of the film. He said that people stayed in character all the time. So sometimes you had these disgusting zombies all over the place. It was almost like a horror film itself.

I laughed and said, "I guess it's like those Day of the Dead movies." I lifted up my right leg and scratched it. I pulled up my sock. I felt a little embarrassed having mentioned Day of the Dead. I didn't know if that was a movie that people who liked Schizophrenia thought was cool.

I now had a vision of blue human figures roiling about in tan gravel. It was very disturbing. I thought, This is what the man must have seen.

I was now with a group of friends. We were heading into a McDonalds that was on the second floor of a building. The McDonalds was dark and empty (it was late at night).

I stood at the register with one of my old co-workers, L, who is tall, pale, and overweight. We waited at the register, but no workers came to serve us.

Larry started saying something about this being just the kind of thing you can expect when you're dealing with labor unions. He then stopped himself and said, "I better not say that too loud. They're liable not to serve us. Or they're liable to harm us in some way for talking bad about them."

I thought, wouldn't it be funny if you had to serve yourself at this McDonalds? If that was how bad things had gotten?

I imagined myself in this empty McDonalds, going into the back area and fixinjg all my food. Then I would pay a computerized register for everything.

We seemed now to be driving away from the McDonalds. But I was still imagining things. I imagined that things had gotten so bad that you couldn't even cook your food at the McDonalds anymore. You just had to eat it ice cold.

I could see a frozen Egg McMuffin as part of an ad. Apparently, the ad was trying to make eating frozen-solid food sound desirable, trying to trick everybody into not realizing McDonalds just didn't want to cook their food anymore.

I was now in the bedroom of a big house. I was on a top floor. The walls were brick. I was getting ready for bed.

A woman had told me, before I'd gone into the room, that there was a group of something like fundamentalist Christians on the loose. If they caught you doing anything non-normal, they'd kill you. They could sneak into your bedroom, too.

I pulled all the blankets down on the bed, revealing light-green sheets. I figured I'd lay on the sheets, not under the blankets, and with my head at the foot of the bed. I wouldn't read anything, because reading was considered non-normal. And I would try to keep perfectly still. This way nobody would think I was doing something non-normal. But if they decided to attack me, I also wouldn't be encumbered by my blankets.

My light was still on when I lay down. I heard a sudden laugh from outside my door and down the hall. It sounded like my old friend D laughing and flirting with a girl.

I stood up to go see what was going on. In my mind's eye I could see a yellow latex glove.

I was now outside, in some backyard area at night. It was snowing, and the snow was about six inches deep on the ground. A woman had told me before I'd come out here not to venture outside, because the severe weather conditions would kill me. Now I hoped she wouldn't discover I'd been outside and punish me.

I walked into a small, wooden, shed-like house. The door was wide open. My friend D was inside, lying on his bed, which was near the door. The room was cluttered, but in a comfortable way.

D told me he was going to venture outside. I thought that was a dangerous idea, as the woman might punish us if we went back outside. But D went anyway.

I looked out into the severe conditions (which weren't very severe now -- it wasn't snowing, and the snow on the ground was mostly melted). A few moments later, I'd realized that D had gotten into a dangerous situation.

I rushed outside to help him. He had fallen into a narrow hole just as wide as, and a bit taller than, a human being. D had been in the hole so long in these severe conditions that he was now frozen solid!

I rushed to help him out of the hole. I might have had the help of a woman. D was now a woman. She was tall, with deep-copper skin and long, black hair. She had a slightly large, soft belly and big breasts.

I hugged the woman, crying because I'd thought she'd died.

I stood back from the woman. We were in the desert, with sagebrush all around us. The woman was wearing a horizontal striped shirt of purple, yellow, and black, and a pair of pale blue jeans. I wondered why I was so attracted to this woman. She didn't seem so attractive to me. But I was just so happy to see her alive that I again hugged her and cried deeply.

I was now on the second floor of some building, in an area that looked like a small school cafeteria. I either was Jaden Smith or I was watching a movie in which Jaden Smith played a boy who had been homeless but was now living in a shelter.

The boy ended up needing to save somebody. So I/he decided I/he would. It involved some act like going into a room and shoving either his/my head or whole body into water.

When I did this, I woke up laying face-down in the sand in a box canyon in the desert. I figured I must have done something wrong, because I had no idea where I was.

I looked to my left. I saw the woman I had saved. Behind and beyond her, on either side of the box canyon, were women standing against the walls (which were pretty sheer, and a sun-baked brown). The women were dressed in shimmery, Ancient Egyptian style dressed. They also had wings. They would lift their wings (and arms?) slowly up and then slide them slowly down.

I figured that since something like this was going on, I must have done the right thing. I at first lay back down on the (cool? moist?) sand. But then I got up and started walking through the desert.

Only a small distance away was a small park. It looked like a normal city park: trees, lawn, shade. It didn't look like a desert at all.

I walked up to a group of people who were having a picnic. There was a man in the family who was nitpicking everybody. Finally he may have walked away.

I was in the backseat of a minivan. My dad had driven me and my brother somewhere, possibly to the airport. He let us out. My brother, in the front seat, said goodbye to my dad and went into the building.

I opened the back door, told my dad goodbye, and got out. I could tell my dad was disappointed and a little angry that I hadn't said more to him. It had been so long since I'd seen him. Now I was leaving with few words.

So I got back in the van and said something nice to my dad. He reached back and hugged me.

We got out of the van, which may now have been a car. We went back to the trunk.

I now hugged my dad even more and started crying. I apologized for not being around when my aunt died. I felt horrible. My dad handed me a sheet of paper. Typed on both sides of it were small paragraphs talking about all the ways in which I'd failed my family. At the top of the second side was a paragraph mentioning my not being around when my aunt died. I couldn't read anything very well because I was crying so much.

The piece of paper eventually became a magazine and then something like an online news program. The show I was watching was about the top 10 crimes of the year.

One crime was a person who had killed a police woman when she went to address a 911 call at a house. I now saw a video. It turned out that four family members and the cop had been killed. The video showed the four family members' bodies lying in a field of gravel and patchy grass. The bodies were laid two-by-two. The heads of the one pair were placed against the heads of the other pair, so that the feet faced in opposite directions.

The woman officer had been found buried. The video showed the officer's body unburied, curled up, and covered in dirt.

The video now did all kinds of strange panning moves, as if the camera were all alone in the field, floating around and filming the bodies in an experimental-film kind of way.

I now heard the narrator (?) mention the next crime. My view changed into a tall, pale man wearing a grey sweater and grey cap. He had shaggy hair and a shaggy beard and glasses.

The narrator mentioned that the man was owner of a fetish bookstore. He had molested and killed a number of little girls. The narrator listed his crimes, which ranged from some terrible stuff down to "blocking people with his legs so they couldn't go anywhere."

I saw a view of the man in something that looked like a school hallway, heading into a restroom.

Had a couple of non-vivid lucids and one kinda vivid one last night. I was going to wild, but i was too tired. Anyway, heres what i remember.

Lucidity-0
Vividness-6.5

I'm in the mountains. Its snowing lightly, and the ground is already covered in snow. I'm doing some tricks for a cameraman on a skateboard. My dad is also there. After a few seconds of photos, the ground starts to break up into x's. Like an x would appear and the snow would reform over it. It happened for a while and i didn't care too much, until it started to melt the mountain. People were being dragged down the mountain, and pieces of ice were cracking apart and falling into oblivion.

I start to run up the hill to get away from the parts that are melting, but i end up being dragged down. I gain control of myself on the way down and am able to jump over certain areas that are being destroyed. I see people falling into them going into oblivion. My dad says to jump over them at the right time. I then miss the next one and fall into it. I try to get moving back to the top, but the top seals itself and snow falls in on me. I accept my fate, and make peace with it. I can't breathe for a second, and am expecting to die. Then a screen comes up infront of me that has an infinite marker. I press it.

I wake up in a tool shop looking place. Not a professional one, but more like a hobby shop. I hear a lawnmower outside. I walk around some looking at shelves. On them are dead bugs. For some reason the thought comes to mind that my dad was trying to resurrect me by testing out how on animals. I hear the mower again and am happy that he revived me from the dead. Makes me feel like he loved me alot. The dream ends, and i'm happy.
This dream was at like 10:00 am after i kept waking up and going to sleep. That happens a-lot to me.

rest of dreams

In a fight with an old friend.

My mom killing people to go to a place sponsored by mcdonalds.