lucid

July 6, 2015

I am sitting in a tree stand/blind hunting a bear. There is a huge rock cliff on my right and in front is a large grassy area sitting on the base of the cliff. There is a stream running down the far side of it. There is a bear in the middle of the grassy area walking by the stream. I aim down my scope and put the crosshairs on the bear. For some reason I get down from the stand and start walking toward the bear to get a better shot. The bear turns towards me and starts coming after me. Immediately I turn and run not wanting it to get too close to me. I run along the cliff’s edge and am jumping from rock to rock. They go in a downward direction and when I’m on the last rock I see a lake with a small piece of land in the middle of it. On the other side of the lake there is a small house. I jump into the water and when I come back out, the house is different. I get onto the piece of land and jump back in the water. When I come back out again it is a mansion. I randomly become lucid. The mansion is white and it has columns in the front along with four or more windows running along the top floor. There is also a balcony up top right below the windows. I walk inside and it is a pretty small room, not the type of room you’d expect in a mansion. There is a square wall in the middle of the room, like a fireplace. I walk to the left and went to the front of the square piece of wall. Right in the middle in front of me there is a door leading into the kitchen maybe, but I’m not totally sure. There was a sign in handwritten big letters that said “THE WELL OF DOUBTS”. I turned around and on the fireplace looking wall there was a hole that led downwards and in the hole there was train tracks. I then had the thought (it was more of just suddenly knowing) that this house represented me. I turned to the left and there was a small staircase attached to the wall. I walked over and looked up, but I couldn’t see anything. I then remembered my dream goal of flying so I decided I wouldn’t go exploring the different rooms. I thought about how I would get to the top of the house so I could jump off and fly, and I was about to go up the stairs to get up there but then I go into an FA.

I’m trying to DEILD but I can’t so then I just wake up in the dream. I am then practicing my technique later in the day and I’m thinking that practicing the Gravity RC is not good for me for some reason. I want to switch to just doing normal RC’s and stuff but I can’t bring myself to do it because I don’t want to lose my results of practicing the Gravity RC so far. Then I’m going on a trip to Mexico with my uncle and another girl who is 4 years older than me and I rarely talk to.

July 4, 2015

I am inside of a gas station type place. Some people have come in and tried to kill us with guns, but so far I have survived along with one other person who is with me. I open the door of the store and look outside. There is a river there along with lush vegetation at the banks of it. I see I boat pull up to the opposite bank of me and there are two people in it. They are being shot at and beg that the guy stops. One of the dudes uses the motor of the boat to block the bullets...but eventually the gunman gets close enough to them and takes them both out. I rush back inside the store and hide. The gunman comes in. I see my partner hiding behind a large metal box. I am so scared that I just dive into a closet at the back. It is pitch black in there. I an see the gunman coming towards my door because the door is slightly cracked open. I am praying that he goes away and I get lucky. He stops right in front of my door, looks around and decided no one is there, so he leaves. Then I'm outside at some camp thing with some friends of mine. It's at a single house in an open grass field with a forest surrounding it. We are all leaving towards our cars and I see two of my friends, C and T, get in a truck. There is another dude who I haven't seen before that gets in a truck behind him. For some reason I walk back over to the trucks and see what the other guy looks like. He looks exactly like T. I walked over to C to check if T was in the car because I thought he got in with him. I saw T and C in the same car however and I was very confused.

"If you're here, then who is that?"

I asked T. Immediately the copy of T smiled at me and pulled a gun out. He shot T and C in the head, then pointed his gun at me. Immediately I realized that this was a dream. I walked out from the left side of the car and acted all cocky.

"You think you can do that?" I asked the kid. "Well then I can do this."

I put my hand down by my side and drew an imaginary gun from my imaginary holster. I pointed my fingers at the dude's head and yelled "BANG". A hole appeared on his forehead with a little bit of blood dripping down. His head fell over and hit the dashboard. I was proud of myself for pulling that off, but right as I was about to walk away the DC got back up and smiled again like he was just joking. He then aimed his gun and shot me in the head. I could see the blood dripping from my head and I was about to die but then I realized I couldn't die, because it was my dream. So we shot back and forth at each other a few times and then I started running away. There was green grass and green trees everywhere. In the field to my left was some trees that were white and skinny. They had a few branches sicking out and on the end of the branches was a green bush. Other than that the trees were bare. I thought the dude had disappeared, but when I turned around he was coming at me and laughing like a maniac. I continued to run and then remembered a trick I had learned in an audio here on DV. I turned around and waited for the dude to get close to me. He now looked like a crazy version of spongebob. I barely had enough time to visualize him soaring away as I punched him before he got on me. I hit him and he went up into the air, not as far as I expected him to go but he still went pretty far. I turned around forgetting about him and remembered my goal to fly. I ran over to one of the skinny white trees and began climbing so I could jump off it. There was perfectly round columns of wood going around the tree in a circle. It started at the ground and as you continued going around you slowly went up and up. After I had jumped on the first log I felt the dream fading. I then jumped to the second log and woke up.

Date: Tuesday July 7 2015, 5:18 AM
Important: Yes

wild
Big day for day work! Last day of vacation and I'm at home. I'm working on the RC + Sageous' Unreality checks a couple of times an hour. Studying some Leberge and Sageous yesterday and getting to bed super early with a Meditation session right before bed.

bed at 10:30, wake up at 3:30. I almost didn't get up but then i finally did. Let the dogs out to go pee and wandered around the back yard looking at the sky and thinking about dreaming.I took a "Lucid dreaming" supplement from Dreamimins. (galantamine + Choline) I lay still. I stretch my hands, arms, legs, chest, back and face. then i hhold still and repeat the classic Carlos Casteneda mantra. "The next time I am dreaming I will look at my hands and realize I am dreaming. I hear lots of noise. Rushing wind, people talking. I'm thinking about getting up to see what all the commotion is then I remember that I'm WILDing and remember that I'm dreaming.

I'm in a dark room with no light source but a lamp. I'm carrying it around shining it on things. I think that because I'm dreaming I should be able to make light appear.
I try to find a light switch but when i find one, it doesn't work.
i think about how i have that old schema that light switches don't work from "Waking Life".
i find a door and imagine what I want on the other side. I remember how one of my goals is to have a conversation with a DC. I walk through the door
then the lights come on.
I'm in a big room with super tall columns. There's an elegant cocktail party going on.
I am looking at hands, the fingerprints are deepening and darkening and crawling all over my hands in crazy patterns.

I see a pretty indian woman in a black cocktail dress and my sex drive takes over, I walk up to her and started kissing her. I put my arm around her. She's pulling away. I ask what she thinks, not interested, gives me a disgusted look, she leaves and i'm a little annoyed. The dream starts to destabilize so I Look at my hands.

looking at my hand and seeing henna tattoos patterns all over them. I find another door and want to go outside.

make it outside and it's very bright and very green. Lots of grass and a few small buildings.
I try to fly and make a high jump and fall to earth.
I see a building like some kind of fancy shed and use that as a jump off point.
I Jump to the top of the building and fly into space.
I'm looking around at the stars and I see the death star. This is super cool.
I try to fly to it but I'm stuck
I remember the Waggoner technique of thinking myself there so I try to pinch zoom it closer with both hands. Instead of it coming closer the whole sky expands into an industrial death-star landscape. I see smoking red fires and and explosions. This causes a heart rush and I lose the dream.

Dield
I'm walking around in a dark house with lots of hallways and i see people walking around.
I see an old friend but he's now in a wheelchair. I remember that one of my goals is to have a conversation with a dream character. I ask him how he's doing but he won't look me in the eye. His brother walks up to me.
I ask how he's doing.
he tells me that we are friends now and that his brother is happy but distant.
dream goes black

I start spinning. It's like 2001 with the colors shooting all around me.
I am in a very gothic house. There are mer-people flopping all over the place.
they are disgusting. There is a hot meryl streep mer lady laying on the couch. I tell her hi. A big ugly mer monster man, slimy and sweaty, jumps down from a door frame and attacks me.
I wake up.

In this space I'll post my experiences and thoughts about Dream Yoga

#447 - ? - 4:44AM

Originally Posted by tl;dr

I was somehow lucid in the void and decided to have a lightsaber battle as Darth Vader. I started in a TIE fighter but ended dueling on some small floating platform over cloud city. The battle seemed planned and I got bored so I killed the Jedi.Another Jedi surprises me with an attack to my ankle. The pain wakes me up.

I am at a low level of lucidity while floating in the dream bardo (void). For whatever reason, I have Star Wars on my mind and I seriously want a light saber battle. I am not sure how to get it started so I just say the mantra, "I am Darth Vader.", until something takes shape. First I am in the cockpit of a TIE fighter in a low orbit over some very cloudy planet. For the briefest moment, I marvel the curved horizon, but tell myself not to get lost in the details because, I know that space flight can get very tricky when I worry too much about visuals. Next, I get some imagery of myself morphing from Lord Vader to a Stormtrooper and It becomes very confusing. Luckily, I am able to shake it off as I focus on descending to the surface of the unknown planet.

As my view tilts downward, I am suddenly out of the spacecraft and floating on a type of saucer-shaped, floating platform just big enough to stand on. I am above a very thick and infinite cloud barrier expecting to battle and I quickly search out a Jedi to attack. There is on that looks similar to my Co-Worker B on another floating platform. I move into attack as I flick my wrist and blind summon a lightsaber. I briefly heard the signature sound and see a red beam, then it vanishes. Again, I remember this is normal for me and I remind myself not to get caught up on the eye candy. The feeling of the lightsaber is very vivid in my hand as I swing to attack the man from behind. He turns to parry my attack just in time. I make several efforts to hit, but each one it deflected with ease. Both of our light sabers seem invisible until me make contact. Then, and only then, are our weapons visible and bright with the appropriate sound effects. I am disappointed with the battle and I get the sense of dueling my shadow. Each attack feels forced and each parry feels planned. I quickly tire of this and maneuver my feet back and out , aking an arching motion, causing me to spin around the Jedi and allowing me to quickly thrust my lightsaber into his left shoulder blade. There is some hesitation of the visual, but I force this one wanting to see my energy blade push out his chest. His sword arm relaxes and I catch his lightsaber, quickly pocketing it like some souvenir that I'll never get to appreciate.

Before I have another thought, a second and identical Jedi attacks from my left. He zooms past me and deftly stabs a large hole in my right ankle. There isn't any sensation until he unexpectedly puts two fingers into my wound and lets his weight hang on my leg. An agonizing dull ache shoots up my leg and causes me to wake up.

I noticed I didn't have this dream online, and it is one of the most current and frustrating K dreams I have had, so I wanted to go over my oddly very detailed dream notes and vivid memory of the dream and make an official dream journal memory I could go back over later, even when my dream notes have been lost.

I am going down the street where some of my paternal extended family lives. I see lights up in the sky, flying in very choreographed patterns. I am sure they are UFOs and near by. I half walk half run towards the lights. In a usually vacant field is a floating eyeball of fire, just like the eye in lord of the rings, complete with a lava tower beneath it and what looks like lava pooling out from around it on the ground. There are two girls with me, one's name is Melissa but I don't really know her or anyone like her in waking life, the other I don't even have a dream name for. The eye and lava tower become a man in a white robe with a giant eyeball mask on his head. He's running towards us throwing fire balls at us, and I happen to dodge and catch one of the robe sleeves throwing him off balance and knocking his mask off. Under the mask, he's just a nasty sweaty guy with a seriously runny nose. The runny boogers are so bad they are trailing a couple of feet down from his nose and when he tries to catch his balance sans the mask, the boogers whip out to land across my arm. Gross! We break into an empty home nearby to wash up a bit, and I take off the jacket I am wearing that got snot on it. The home owners are returning, so we run out the back door and through the woods behind the house. I briefly worry about my jacket that I left behind linking me to the break in, but my dream brain quickly stops caring. On the other side of the woods, we find a graveyard and it's sunrise. there's a truck parked out on a maintenance path, and there's a form standing outside the truck. When we get closer to the truck I realize the form is K, but his face and body are all swollen up from some sort of crazy allergic reaction to something. I wake up.

I fall back asleep thinking of the previous dream, and this time find myself walking back through the same graveyard. I am following K, though he is far ahead of me, and he quickly arrives at a house. I try to speak to him, but he is scrambling around and basically blowing me off muttering about dream research he has to do. He isn't swollen up anymore, and he looks older, haggard even. I go downstairs upset and trying to just get away from this unusual rejection. Downstairs, the basement of this house is filled to the brim with boxes and all kinds of old bikes and random junk. I manage to squeeze my way through over and around all the mess to a window. I open the window and climb through to find myself in the front yard. There's a yard sale going on in the front yard, and there are people that my dream self knew as friends sitting on the steps chatting, as well as a couple of little dogs running around the yard amid the items displayed for sale. K has walked out the front door and is still mumbling about dream research. I tell him that we are in a dream right now, and we could research better together if we could just find each other! The sudden admission that I am in a dream causes me to have a false awakening. I wake up with my cheek on a dark wooden floor facing a set of stained glass front doors. I walk towards and through those doors, and as I do the new looking floors age and become worn out looking as well as the rest of the house. When I am out in the neighborhood, I decide that K's house from earlier in the dream will be in this neighborhood, I just have to walk in the direction that feels right. I find the house with the yard sale, and K is on the front porch still. There is a rolling chair on the sidewalk near the steps he is standing and the friends are sitting on. I sit down in the rolling chair and tell him my name and the city and state I live in. He says something about "Faust" and "Curro", I am confused because his words sound muffled and distorted. I ask him to repeat them and I reach for a laptop on the ground nearby thinking I will look the words up as he tells them to me. Once again, his words are muffled and distorted and I wake up trying to concentrate on them too hard.

K was very out of character in this dream. Instead of the usual calm, collected, bad ass who always seems like he has everything under control and can protect me from anything my dreams throw at me, his allergic reaction and almost frantic mumbling about dream research made him seem very weak and very much a mess incapable of even caring for himself. In the end, he was able to kind of pull himself together and actually try to accomplish something, but even then the lack of clarity in his words and voice was very different from usual. I've contemplated that this was not really a K dream, but then no one has ever had the same feel as K in dreams, and there was no mistaking it in this dream. I have also wondered if perhaps I somehow made it into one of those random dreams we all have where our stresses and anxieties take over and we just fall apart where he was unable to control himself, assuming that K is another dreamer and not just a special dc. Then there's always the chance that my own fears and anxieties over hardly ever dreaming of K anymore caused me to dream that he was falling apart.

Well after a week of visiting my grandmother's and being unable to record my dreams, my dream recall plummeted... a lot.
So even though this is just a dream fragment I am very happy I remembered at least a little of one of my dreams because I haven't remembered a dream since I visited my grandmother's which was two weeks ago. It was even semi-lucid instead of non-lucid.

I was in a very fancy building with red wallpaper with a gold vine-like design on it. It was probably a restaurant though since I remember seeing tables with a white table cloth over it with dishes, utensils, and vases and it. The floor was wooden and shiny. I remember walking down a stair case in the restaurant leading to an exit in which I met a girl and talked to her. I don't remember what either of us said. I then walked out of the building which led to a shopping square at night. I couldn't see the shop names since it was too dark. I talked to a few people outside. That's all I could remember.

I was some type of odd ship that transported me to a part in space. I got out and notice oddly shape creatures in a cage. I soon catch on that I was walking in space with out floating around or falling. Everything was too different to ignore the fact that it's a dream. I check the back of the house looking air craft and saw that one of the component have detach itself once landing. I tried figuring out where it's suppose to go but ended up getting frustrated and throwing it. The prisoners started making howls causing me to lose concentration, I observe this particular person in a old looking helmet bash his hands against the rusty steel bars. He then turns in to a crocodile and manages to slip through the bars.

I began backing up and seeing what was behind me, which made me realize that I have been caught in a trap. There was another crocodile above me starting to come down. Checking more of my surroundings I found a huge yellow with black swirls slide going down through space. I check where it would lead me to but at the bottom was all white. I began thinking this dream wasn't looking too well. I could sense the crocodiles nearing so I stumble down trying to keep my balance but failed to do so. After rolling down I lost lucidity. Lucidity Time: 49 seconds

7/6/15 12:54 am

Tonight I went to bed before my husband to try to fix my sleeping schedule by going to bed early. I had a dream, which I don't remember, then went right to bed to trigger a lucid dream through dream chaining. I told myself over and over again I wanted to dream of my husband. And I did.

Lucid MILD, WBTB, Dream Chaining

I dreamed we had a shared dream and I was showing him how to control his dream. We flew together hand in hand. Saw Conan live. Visited a herd of "Mittens" (my cat who passed away recently), one of them bit me. It hurt. I wasn't bothered by it, and found it quite funny. The herd of Mittens was in my mother's backyard.

I woke up in my dream and my husband agreed we had a shared dream, but then proceeded to tell me I was Sailor Moon in his dream, which made me realize we didn't share dreams. He described his dream totally differently. Note: I'm still dreaming.

Then, I see this white stuffed animal on a chair who's talking to me in a squeaky voice. I don't remember the conversation. At first, I didn't trust him. I told him to go away. But all of the sudden I realized what he was saying. I told him, in different words, but essentially this "You're my dream guide." And he said yes (I think, or something affirming what I said) and jumped in my arms to give me a hug. Then I woke up when my husband got in bed in waking life.

I used a different word for dream guide in my dream, but don't remember what.

He was definitely different than all my dream characters, with a sense of his own agency. Even different than my dream husband, who was just responding to what I did. I think I didn't trust him at first because he seemed to have his own agency.

I almost feel like my dream guide and I were speaking on a different level, like in code. We knew what we meant, even though it wasn't in clear English.

This was definitely the best dream I've had with my husband. We were flying hand in hand! And that was amazing. I've flown hand in hand with one other dream character before, in my first successful flying dream. I asked him what my middle name was and he said Windy, then took my hand, proceeding to fly with me in the air. I've been able to fly in my dreams ever since, and this moment flying with my husband was definitely reminiscent on my first flying dream. I was rusty flying, since I haven't triggered a lucid dream in a while (only accidental ones) and had to relearn how to fly, only this time it was me who took my husband's hand to show him, rather than a dream character showing me.

When I was trying to fly, at first it wasn't successful. I'd keep trying to jump from higher levels of ground to lower levels, on a hilly area with grass and patches of dirt. The area is around my mother's house, down the road near a foresty area.

There was a point in the dream we were on a train, before the flying scene, taking to other dream characters.

Connected to my mom's backyard is an acquaintance's house. It's supposed to be my mom's, and I felt like it was my mom's, but at the same time this person's house. We went into his room and saw an anime poster. There was a "mom figure" there that was supposed to be my mom, but wasn't my mom in waking life. She was worried about me, but I told her this is all just a dream so not to worry. I showed my husband how to control the dream further by saying "clearer" and "brighter", controlling my dream world to become clearer and brighter.

In a sense, the dream started off with me being the dream guide for my dream husband, then finding my own dream guide. I really hope to see him again! I haven't been searching for a dream guide, but have been hoping to have a repeated dream character that has a sense of self and grows with each lucid dream. So perhaps this is a manifestation of that desire. Certainly not what I expected! A stuffed animal as my dream guide. I'm so excited by this.

This dream started off, I believe, as non-lucid. Though I don't remember the point exactly I became lucid. My husband and I were watching Roku together, and then went to see Conan live. When we watched Conan on Roku, he had his typical blue background, but live everything was white and the show was supposed to be a new Conan show, called Live with Conan. There was this mean producer lady, who was playing tricks on me. I think that was the point I became lucid, because something about her just gave off that she was a dream character. Conan later sat with me and my husband in the audience and apologized for her actions.

I took a nap today and was going for a wild but dozed off like always.

I don't remember where I was when I became lucid, pretty sure I was outside. I was losing it the second I realized what was going on. I did the spin around and around to save it which did seem to work.

I'm now standing in a yard. It's daytime...it's on a property I lived at growing up. I fly around but it's really hard to go any higher than floating a couple feet off the ground. I try harder and send myself way up into the air in one gust. I did that because for one I wanted to get on top of the church next to my old house. I had looked at that church for many years but could never see the top of it. It was flat with a brick trim so it was a big mystery.... in my dream I really wanted to see what it looked like up there. The other reason I launched myself so high in one shot was bc I knew I would have to learn to fly good now or crash hard.

As soon as I flew up I went straight down. I thought I was going to crash and lose the dream. I grabbed the edge of the roof on my way down and climbed onto the roof. Finally I can see what it looks like..

I walk around on the rooftop, it's just a flat roof black with dried tar. It was very realistic I'm sure it looks just like that in real life.

I wonder since I can't fly how will I get down? It's just a dream I don't care if I fall hard! I jump long distances from rooftop to rooftop.

I finally land and walk across a empty grass lot. I try to remember some tasks or goals or something to do but I can only remeber the ones I already did.

I talked to a man walking his dog. I tried to have a conversation with his dog. It never talked and I started petting it and got distracted.

05/07/2015

non-lucid - Notes - lucid

“Consulting on the Nuclear Power plant – picking up my new car – TotM”

I am sat in a meeting with my new work-group, or rather I am sat with them and I am suspecting we have a meeting sometime shortly. It is at the beginning of the day and I am just hovering around really, I have other places I need to be in connection with my other project – which concerns youth and alcohol use (which is an actual IRL project I am working on) . However I have a feeling that I need to stick around for a bit as if I am expected to stay there.

Eventually the leader of the project comes around, she is a darkish haired short woman, who is pretty and American or English I believe. I tell her that I am excited to be connected with the project (though I frequently experience a sense of weirdness for participating in a project for constructing a nuclear power plant, which is never really fully conscious and I don't verbalise it) . She smiles at me and asks if I know how to handle Sheila (a IRL colleague of mine, who is apparently also on this project) . At this point we are walking outside the office in a courtyard of grey concrete in the early hours of the day, there is a lot of columns around forming small walkways – it reminds me of the style of construction associated with my old primary school. As she is asking about Sheila we sort of move into the office, without really moving, but rather being moved, or the building starts encompassing us.

Inside I see Maria has appeared (an old colleague from my time in England) who is also on the project. She is saying that she is excited to be on a project where “patriarchalism” (the meaning is feminism/social constructionism in the dream) is employed and that she sees that rarely. I replay “oh really? - I haven't been on anything else but these approaches, maybe it is because people preparing to become clinicians never really take this road?” She concurs a bit and throw me a smile, showing a lot of gingiva and then looks away towards either Caidee or the project leader.

While she does this I get a lot of spreadsheets appearing in front of my eyes. They are interview questions and are getting closed down one by one. The first being closed is the most recent and contains a lot of questions and the more that gets closed down the more questions disappear. I can't really see the questions, but there is a picture of a black female student in the top right hand corner and I see her name is Caidee. I instantaneously know that she is a student helper and she has been involved with constructing the interview guide from the start.

When these spreadsheets are all closed down we are starting to sit down by the table. I am getting anxious at this point because I think we are getting ready for the meeting and I thought the meeting wouldn't be till this afternoon. I take off my trousers under the table and look down at my blueish boxer shorts. I am briefly aware of the embarrassing nature of showing legs and start looking for my sweat pants – I don't know if I ever find them, but I start wearing them regardless – I then look under the table and see my red shorts lying under there. I am surprised as I don't remember wearing these, but I pick them up nonetheless and stand up and look at the table. I see now that Sheila has appeared so I go and sit next to her. I don't know if I will be able to persuade her in anyway or get to know her position in the project as the leader has told me about – in fact I am not even sure what I am supposed to do, but I sit down anyway.

I ask about whether we have a meeting already now and I am told that we do indeed and that it is a weekly thing as well. I mull this over a bit until from behind me Christina appears (Old school/class mate) and tell me that she has received the keys from Saab and that they will be here with my car shortly. It surprise me a little seeing as I am not yet in a financially stable position and I don't know why I have already bought a car, but I think little else of it as it was part of the plan. So I grab the keys, which is a massive bundle, with a couple of car keys and 8-10 other keys and I wonder why there are so many.

I start walking down the hallway towards the entrance and Bjarne (Old friend from childhood/adolescence) and Rasmus (Old school/class mate) appear along the way and talk to me, I can't recall exactly what they say, but it seems taunting or mocking. I get to the end of the hall and enter the lift I notice the button (yes there is only one and that isn't weird! ) is slightly broken, but I press it anyway and I soon find myself outside in the school car park, that is vast and fenced in with wire mesh – and seems more like a car park belonging to a large shopping centre than a school and there is a lot of traffic.

I stand around looking at the cars driving in. There seems to be a lot of black mega trucks or hummers and I know that this probably isn't mine. I can't remember which kind of car I bought, though when a couple of silver grey smaller station cars and smart type cars start entering I get a feeling that my car is definitely silver grey, though I am still unsure about the type, but having a feeling that it isn't one of the completely little ones. A couple of grey cars enter the car park and turn towards me and park. After this a massive black hummer truck pulls in (which I think look a bit weird, but after googling “hummer truck” this morning I found a picture that looks exactly like the one)

hummer truck Photo #06

I start getting bored so I decide to jump on the bonnet of the cars parked making a neat little run/jumping course – and I am thoroughly satisfied with the sounds and feel of pressing down the metal as I jump. I start out with just common SUVs but I eventually land on a Porsche – which for some reason is covered in a fine layer of snow – and the car following that just before the massive hummer truck as a black Lamborghini, which stops me in my tracks as it is so low that I can't possibly get up on the truck – also I am quite surprised to see 2 such expensive cars parked next to each other as Denmark isn't a cheap place to buy a car.

I move around and jump maybe 3-4 cars more before I think to myself “This is something I would do if I were dreaming”. So I look up and it all seems pretty normal, but I decide to do a reality check nonetheless. So I move my hands slightly to the sides and let myself hover above the rooftops of the cars.

Realising I am lucid I start taking to the skys, which is a habitual thought and I quickly realise that I have more important stuff to do than goof around. So I let myself drop out of flight and land on the ground again and when I do I find myself on the side walk outside the wire mesh.

I start walking up the side walk and start looking at my hands. The first basic task is my mission and I have already planned how this one is to unfold. I am somewhat excited though as I have never actually made something appear before my eyes. But I recall the visualisation of making a seed of light appear in my hand – a seed of love and light which I intend to plant in my chest and watch how it grows inside my body – while watching my hands (It is fascinating to think that within the dream world a mental visualisation appears phenomenologically similar to how it would in the waking world, as a sort of translucent image appearing in a distinct mental space – which one could easily hypothesise being occupied by running the “world simulation” that is the dream) To start out with not much is happening in my palm which is outstretched palms towards the sky. I see my fingers in a somewhat illuminated light and start focusing. Eventually I see a bright, but tiny dot of light in the middle of my palm and as I am watching it, it grows to the size of a water drop that is perfectly spherical. As I look at it it continues to grow and spikes and sparks start appearing around it leaving a distinct burning sensation in my hand as tiny specks of fire and ice are bombarding the surface of my skin.

Soon a gust of wind appears and rips the seed from my hands and I panic and jumps after it. It lands in a corner where there is some grass, but I manage to find it rather quickly. I then go all the way into the corner to avoid getting disturbed by the wind again. I take a look at the seed, my hand still being illuminated by light that reminds me of dawn. There is no pain any longer and I think of the seed representing compassion and love, as I press it into my chest. I don't feel it entering and nothing abrupt happens. I turn my focus and visual capacity towards the inside of my body and I get a view of the inside of my shoulder, but not much more, and the bright lines of light I expected aren't really there. What is worse is as I am focusing my attention like this I sense the dream world destabilising – so I start focusing outwards. At this point the dream is gone, but I am armed with patience – I have experienced this before, I maintain my focus directed outwards – although I am also aware that it would be irritating only starting half of the TotM task and not see it to fruition (literally . (In previous dreams over the years experiencing this sensation would normally have led me to feeling disappointed and accepting the disappearance of the dream. However in one of the first lucid experiences since Ayahuasca the same thing happened – the visuals faded and I was left with nothing but internal and auditory stimuli – but here I just decided to wait instead of waking up and soon after I was pulled back into the dream world, albeit in a different spot than when I left)

I get flashes of a white rugged wall, it is plastered and I reach out to touch it and I sense it with my fingertips, but only very briefly. I start sensing the light of dawn characteristic of the dream world I was just in and I feel myself pulled back in. SWEET! I am back on the side walk and I decide to not focus more on the seed, I had already thought about the fact that it might take longer to grow than within a single dream – planting compassion and love in my own heart will still be an interesting theme to watch unfold over time.

So I start walking up the side walk to find a tree. I am however conscious that I would prefer finding a tree surrounded by nature, but looking around and having no experience with teleportation or portals I think I will have to settle for one of the trees by the side of the road.

I find a tree not far away, it is a very short tree and the trunk of it is very strange in that it narrows a lot towards the top, almost needle shaped. I place my hand on the tree and it feels chilly, not cold to the touch and I can feel the texture of the bark against my fingers, very authentic. I notice a curved line heading diagonally up from bottom left to top right on a point on the trunk. There is some dark green slime around the line and I wonder if the tree is forming a mouth. The slime should look unpleasant, but it doesn't – in fact it seems rather natural. I look away and at the tree again and the line has widened, though also thinned out a bit. The point is the changes to the line isn't gradual but jolty.

I think I look at the tree a couple of times more watching the line change, but it still isn't speaking to me and as I am about to give up hope and look away I hear a deep bassy rumble emanating from the tree.

“You cannot, help me – even with your flatter and good intentions.”
Astonished I turn around and face it.
“but I can help you” it says.
“How?” I ask as respectfully as I can muster, which isn't difficult as I feel very humble even towards this young tree standing amidst the concrete.
“We trees see things humans aren't equipped to see” it continues.
“Amongst our roots we keep closed the gates of hell”
“Humans aren't prepared to see this – they would freak out – but we trees have watched this for ever.”
(I have taken some artistic liberties with the sentences, for which I don't recall all of them exactly, though they were perfectly linguistic, which excited me – though the meaning of the words is represented exactly as they should be. I felt it more important to convey the intelligence, wisdom and almost all encompassing and physical presence of the tree's intentions directed at me)

I thank the tree and wonder exactly how that is a help to me, not negating it – the message felt important to me, but I think I might not be able to fully grasp it yet. (upon awakening I got the feeling that the tree was trying to help me with one of the TotY – visiting the underworld, though I am unsure if there isn't a deeper more personal/spiritual message enclosed within as well). I take off into flight thinking I have done enough tasks for now, wanting to relax a little – after briefly considering doing the painting task, but giving up cause I don't feel like finding a painting at this point. However I then again think I might not have completed the basic seed task as I haven't seen anything grow yet – I quickly glance inside my body again, but don't really see anything – more a sort of translucent view of my shoulder again. And look outwards. The skies are tuning dark and I land on a rooftop covered with old roof platings. There is a lot of moss growing on the platings and I think it might be a good idea to conjure up more of aforementioned seeds so I start doing that.

The seeds seem more vigorous and self determined than before and start flying out of my hand spinning, when they have reached an appropriate size. I still feel the burns of the sparks and ice shards. One of the seeds actually jump up the slope of the roof and enter a crack between one of the platings under a ventilation hood.

I stop producing seeds and just look at the crack and wonder if there is enough soil and nutrients for the seed to grow. After a little while slowly a thin rolled up green leaf appears from under the crack and as I continue to observe the growth I see a sort of elongated cabbage shape take form along with branches with leaves growing out of the new little plant. It also starts forming a flower and end up looking like a mixture between an orchid and a cabbage. As I watch this unfold the dream starts fading and I wake up.

I put lucid dreaming on the back burner these past few days. A combination of mucky recall and distraction of other things have kind of dragged me down. It's basically more of what was in that backlog entry. A bunch of nonlucid and semi-lucid bits.

I recall being in a star wars movie. I was on the city planet. I remember saying to myself that I thought this planet was kind of uncreative. It was just like new york city but with a more futuristic look.

I rode a floating train and somehow found myself in a cave where Jedi and Sith were fighting one another. I recall not belonging to one side or the other but Darth Vader attacked me. He knocked me down to the ground but suddenly became very conflicted about what side he thought that he really belonged to.

I then remember Yoda and *sigh* Jar Jar Binks were fighting.

...

I recall learning that there were 27 Bionicle movies by looking on a box at my friend S's house. (My friend S collects Bionicles.)

...

I remember going into the avatar state while I was semi-lucid. I was in some kind of gym class.

...

I at my college. It was the beginning of the year and they were having a festival showcasing all of the different frats and clubs that you could join. I remember these one people started something called the 'Be happy' club. It was clearly a bunch of 8-year olds and their parents and I have no idea what they were doing on a college campus.

I didn't even go over to them, because I wasn't interested. But one of them walked over to me, one of the parent women and gave me a pamphlet. It turns out they were actually this odd religious group that worshiped a god called happysan.

The more I stayed near them, the more I started to get a really creepy vibe. I started to walk the other way. I saw that the fair had for the most part disappeared and that I was now on the bike path at the edge of my town that leads to the sate park. I vaguely recognized the area but there was a large lake that was in place of the field in waking life. The path continued across a land bridge. A few of the booths including the 'be happy club' stayed around as well.

I started walking back in the direction that would take me home. I randomly became lucid. Manei appeared out of the crowd of people. She asked me to give her a piggy back ride. I told her she could for a minute. She got on my shoulders. It probably looked a bit ridiculous since she is much taller than me.

Me:"Next time, you're gonna carry me!"

Manei:"Now, Fly!"

Me:"This is probably a bad idea..."

I got about three inches off the ground, then realized how off my center of mass was and flew backwards into a big tree. We just laughed off what was actually one of my softer crashes. Manei told me that another test was coming and left.

I started flying around on my own. I was noting how the dream didn't seem to put any ceiling on how high I could fly. I remember experimenting with putting my hands in front of me like superman but this made me fly slower. Probably because I can go fastest if I put my hands behind me because I can project flames out of my hands and feet. I don't see them most of the times, but I can see them flickering out of my peripheral.

I then tried flying through the trees. I remember putting my arms out to my side and flying forward. I could then push myself from side to side to avoid the trees. I also recall seeing my friend A on the walking path. I waived 'hi' to him.

I somehow found myself in a small indoor pool area. There was a dc with short light brown hair and a black girl swimming in the pool. The boy asked me if I liked the show FairlyOddparents. I told him (honest answer here) that I thought it was obnoxious because the characters were always shouting and it seemed to repeat the same formula over and over.

Well apparently that wasn't the answer that he wanted to hear because he got mad, got out of the pool and came after me. I started to fly away, but he grabbed my leg. I spun around with my arms, boosting with fire to spin him off, but he did a flip and landed with my rotation.

I got down and we started fighting. I couldn't believe that there was a DC able to match me in combat. He didn't look to be all that in-shape. In fact he was a bit of a chunker. I almost managed to land a blow when I preformed a sweeping kick while my foot was on fire. I singed the hairs on his chinny chin chin and he staggered back into the pool.

He got back out and got me on the defensive. I thought about using my hidden blades but then I remembered that I was trying to be less violent in dreams. Instead I pinned him against the wall and put my fingers on the inside of his eyes. (Threatening to poke his eyes out)

Me:"Just drop it, Okay!"

DC:"Okay, okay!"

The dc seemed bitter about it, but he let it go. I lost the dream and woke up.

Spoiler for Notes:

The mentality that I am trying to have on violence in dreams is a more balanced one. I can be dark and violent. It's just a part of who I am and I really don't see anything wrong with that. I just need to not be excessive about it. (Remember when I rained knives on a DC), we're just going to try and avoid doing that unless we really have to.

I know many lucid dreamers try to play a pacifist and never fight against dream characters. Sure, that gives you the moral high ground when a dickhead DC beats you up and you don't fight back. But, in my opinion your doing just as much a disservice to yourself by letting other people beat you up as you would if you go just go around murdering DCs because they annoy you a little.

In other words there's a balance to be struck. You don't want to be passive, just letting others walk all over you. And you don't want to be too aggressive and attack others. You should play defensive. Only use violence when you feel you are threatened or are attacked, and you shouldn't kill or injure a DC unless you really have to. And this dream demonstrates that better than my previous dreams.

tl;dr I wouldn't recommend being a thug or Gandhi in a dream. Somewhere in the middle.

Dream One - I'm at a concert inside of a mall waiting on my ex husband to bring my kids to me. There's loud music, lots of people really close together, and fog machines making everything look hazy. I'm trying to look around for them, but the crowd is so thick I can't see through it and have to start walking around the outside perimeter hoping to catch a glimpse of them when they get there. I walk around a group of six or seven people and see my kids and their dad behind them. I walk up and say hey, and apologize for not being able to see them through the crowd, I hope they didn't wait long. My ex husband leaves, and I show my kids some sort of meter that I have in my hand that I got from hot topic. It's linked to the concert somehow, that whenever you attend the concerts with this meter it gets you free merchandise credit. I have two more meters in my pocket, one for each kid. We talk about all the cool pokemon and pony merch they have and start planning what we want to spend our concert attendance points on as we walk out of the large concert room and into the main mall. The mall is bigger than any mall I have ever seen, and I've been to a pretty big one in DC when I was a kid. As we are walking through we see lots of stores already closed up for the night. We go down an escalator, and there's another escalator across from it. Music starts playing, and a slightly heavier than average woman in a sexy tight red dress starts dancing through the mall. She's wearing some sort of paper mache TV mask that makes her look like she has an old TV from the sixties for a head. She's singing as she dances about how much she loves shopping and how wonderful the mall stores are. We hurry towards the exit of the mall and I wake up.

Dream Two - I'm heading out to my car in a big parking lot outside of a medium sized building. I think it might be a school or college that I am leaving, perhaps some sort of educational convention. There's a lady and a dude who are waiting on rides and I offer to take them home so they don't have to wait. Both accept my offer, and my car is parked in one of the first few parking spaces so we don't walk far. I decide to take the T tops off and ride them home in style. I get in the car, and the man gets in the passengers seat and I start driving off. I realize the lady got distracted and didn't get in the car when I hear her yelling at me to wait while she chases down the car. Unfortunately I had just pulled onto the main road when she was close enough to hear. I try to stop and put the car in reverse as there is nothing coming, but as soon as I start backing up the car a bunch of other cars start coming up the hill behind us and honking their horns at me for driving like an idiot. I ignore them and back right back into the parking lot anyways. The lady is no longer there. I drive a circle back through the parking lot looking for her, and finally find her back at the front of the building waiting on her ride. I try to apologize, but she's not mad at all. She thanks me for forgetting her, and tells me that by staying there a little longer a great opportunity opened up for her. She doesn't elaborate on what the opportunity is. I offer again to take her home, and she says she needs to stay there another half our or so, I can take her home only if I am willing to wait that half our. I don't want to wait, I want to get home. The man I was giving a ride home to starts talking, and while I can't remember what he said, I got really aggravated and annoyed by it. I stop the car just before I leave the parking lot and tell him to get out. he argues, and I start cursing and yelling at him until he gets out and slams the door. I drive off and wake up.

Dream Three - I am once again leaving a college, this time on foot. There's a hill very much like the one at my late Grandma W's house that I am walking up. I look at my hand and think it looks weird. I start counting my fingers, and realize I have 8 on one hand. That's not right, I count again. Once more, 8 fingers. I realize I MUST be dreaming! I try to concentrate once more on my hands, now curious how I can have 8 fingers and it look almost normal. This time however, I only have the normal 5 fingers, and decide that maybe my counting is off in dreams and not so much that my hand actually had 8 fingers. At first I continue walking up the hill, then decide that I am not going to continue the path of the dream, I am going to go out looking for K instead. I turn right and head towards an older building that I recognize from a dream in the past. In the dream I am pretty sure I had seen K in that building before so it's a good place to start looking. Lucidity starts slipping but not completely. The building has different little shops in it, one of them being some sort of bass pro shops home store that I have never dreamed of before. I walk into the bass pro shop home store as it looks like the main entrance, and then go up some stairs into a little office lobby. There are different little office doors with different titles on them, one of the is the Faerie Arcane office. I knock on that door, thinking that K must have something to do with magic that we meet in dreams as we do. Lucidity is mostly gone, but I at least follow my purpose to find K. The door swings open when I knock and there are three ladies in the office. All three are middle aged, with tons of makeup and jewelry and their hair styled with tons of hair spray and gel. One is at a desk, and the other two are standing in the corners, and they are all chatting fervently. They turn and look at me, the one at the desk demanding to know what I want. I tell them I want to speak with the faerie arcane office about someone I am seeking, and they tell me they are too busy and I will have to come back tomorrow. I close the door disappointed, and start walking out of the building. I wake up.

Dream Four - My boy friend and I are working. I realize it's getting about time for our doctors appointments so I got to tell him it's time to leave. He tells me his appointment isn't until three, even though I am so sure it's at 2:30. We leave anyways. I don't remember any drive, it's like we are just suddenly there. The building looks like a grocery store building, however it has a neon purple sign on the front that says, "Mydera's" I also notice my exhusband and his new wife and their families chilling out on the roof of the building. I have a brief flash back memory of putting the "Mydera's" sign on the building in The Sims 3, then we get out of the car and walk in. We are late for my boyfriend appointment, it was in fact at 2:30 not 3:00. Also, the appointment I thought was there was with a different doctor an hour away and there's no way to make it there in time. We decide instead to go into the movie theater in the building. There are rows of sofas and love seats instead of movie chairs, and the movie screen has Splatoon on it. Everyone in the theatre is playing on the same screen, but the screen doesn't split off into individual character views, it just shows the whole stage making it impossible to tell who you are and where you are going. I get frustrated that I can't figure out which character I am or see around most of the stage and that frustration wakes me up.

Dream Five - I am at work inspecting a chair. There are two slubs on the outback of this chair. One at the top and one at the bottom. My boyfriend comes up behind me as I place red tape on the slubs and asks what I put the tape on there for. I tell him there are slubs in the fabric, then he sarcastically replies, "No, those are fine, they're supposed to be there!" I shake my head and then set down my red tape. If my boyfriend is there then it must be lunch time. He's putting huge pickle chips on a hamburger. The pickles look weird, they are all huge and lumpy. Realizing they don't look right wakes me up.

My daughter who was visiting family out of state had to go to the er last night for a sparkler burn. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep b/c I felt just awful about being four hours away, even though she was only at the hospital for an hour and was just fine, it was just a precautionary measure on the part of my family to take her to the ER and be checked. So I took 5htp as well as a couple of Benedryl to help me sleep. Having had the dream of K a few nights ago, I also took a prenatal vitamin to help build back my dream recall. Usually I have to take the vitamins a week straight to get good recall, but I guess mixed with the medicine and the attempt to take notes the vitamin worked immediately. I also got about 10 hours of sleep thanks to the medicine, where as I am normally lucky to get 8 full hours. I also had a few almost dreams early in the night where I was awake enough to hear my boyfriend on the computer, but still seeing little movies behind my eyes. The moment I would acknowledge however that I must be falling asleep, I'd wake up fully and not even remember anything other than, "I was dreaming of splat rollers" or something equally vague. All in all though, it was far more productive a dream night than I anticipated. If I am able to keep up with my dream journal, I won't expect such good results most of the time lol.

05/07/2015

non-lucid - [COLOR="blue"]Notes[/COLOR] - [COLOR="red"]lucid[/COLOR]

“Consulting on the Nuclear Power plant – picking up my new car – TotM”

I am sat in a meeting with my new work-group, or rather I am sat with them and I am suspecting we have a meeting sometime shortly. It is at the beginning of the day and I am just hovering around really, I have other places I need to be in connection with my other project – which concerns youth and alcohol use [COLOR="blue"] (which is an actual IRL project I am working on) [/COLOR]. However I have a feeling that I need to stick around for a bit as if I am expected to stay there.

Eventually the leader of the project comes around, she is a darkish haired short woman, who is pretty and American or English I believe. I tell her that I am excited to be connected with the project [COLOR="blue"] (though I frequently experience a sense of weirdness for participating in a project for constructing a nuclear power plant, which is never really fully conscious and I don't verbalise it) [/COLOR]. She smiles at me and asks if I know how to handle Sheila [COLOR="blue"] (a IRL colleague of mine, who is apparently also on this project) [/COLOR]. At this point we are walking outside the office in a courtyard of grey concrete in the early hours of the day, there is a lot of columns around forming small walkways – it reminds me of the style of construction associated with my old primary school. As she is asking about Sheila we sort of move into the office, without really moving, but rather being moved, or the building starts encompassing us.

Inside I see Maria has appeared [COLOR="blue"](an old colleague from my time in England)[/COLOR] who is also on the project. She is saying that she is excited to be on a project where “patriarchalism” [COLOR="blue"] (the meaning is feminism/social constructionism in the dream) [/COLOR] is employed and that she sees that rarely. I replay “oh really? - I haven't been on anything else but these approaches, maybe it is because people preparing to become clinicians never really take this road?” She concurs a bit and throw me a smile, showing a lot of gingiva and then looks away towards either Caidee or the project leader.

While she does this I get a lot of spreadsheets appearing in front of my eyes. They are interview questions and are getting closed down one by one. The first being closed is the most recent and contains a lot of questions and the more that gets closed down the more questions disappear. I can't really see the questions, but there is a picture of a black female student in the top right hand corner and I see her name is Caidee. I instantaneously know that she is a student helper and she has been involved with constructing the interview guide from the start.

When these spreadsheets are all closed down we are starting to sit down by the table. I am getting anxious at this point because I think we are getting ready for the meeting and I thought the meeting wouldn't be till this afternoon. I take off my trousers under the table and look down at my blueish boxer shorts. I am briefly aware of the embarrassing nature of showing legs and start looking for my sweat pants – I don't know if I ever find them, but I start wearing them regardless – I then look under the table and see my red shorts lying under there. I am surprised as I don't remember wearing these, but I pick them up nonetheless and stand up and look at the table. I see now that Sheila has appeared so I go and sit next to her. I don't know if I will be able to persuade her in anyway or get to know her position in the project as the leader has told me about – in fact I am not even sure what I am supposed to do, but I sit down anyway.

I ask about whether we have a meeting already now and I am told that we do indeed and that it is a weekly thing as well. I mull this over a bit until from behind me Christina appears [COLOR="blue"] (Old school/class mate) [/COLOR] and tell me that she has received the keys from Saab and that they will be here with my car shortly. It surprise me a little seeing as I am not yet in a financially stable position and I don't know why I have already bought a car, but I think little else of it as it was part of the plan. So I grab the keys, which is a massive bundle, with a couple of car keys and 8-10 other keys and I wonder why there are so many.

I start walking down the hallway towards the entrance and Bjarne [COLOR="blue"] (Old friend from childhood/adolescence) [/COLOR] and Rasmus [COLOR="blue"] (Old school/class mate) [/COLOR] appear along the way and talk to me, I can't recall exactly what they say, but it seems taunting or mocking. I get to the end of the hall and enter the lift I notice the button [COLOR="blue"] (yes there is only one and that isn't weird! :P) [/COLOR] is slightly broken, but I press it anyway and I soon find myself outside in the school car park, that is vast and fenced in with wire mesh – and seems more like a car park belonging to a large shopping centre than a school and there is a lot of traffic.

I stand around looking at the cars driving in. There seems to be a lot of black mega trucks or hummers and I know that this probably isn't mine. I can't remember which kind of car I bought, though when a couple of silver grey smaller station cars and smart type cars start entering I get a feeling that my car is definitely silver grey, though I am still unsure about the type, but having a feeling that it isn't one of the completely little ones. A couple of grey cars enter the car park and turn towards me and park. After this a massive black hummer truck pulls in [COLOR="blue"] (which I think look a bit weird, but after googling “hummer truck” this morning I found a picture that looks exactly like the one) [/COLOR]

[url=http://prettycarz.com/odin/gallery/hummer%20truck/hummer-truck-06.html]hummer truck Photo #06[/url]

I start getting bored so I decide to jump on the bonnet of the cars parked making a neat little run/jumping course – and I am thoroughly satisfied with the sounds and feel of pressing down the metal as I jump. I start out with just common SUVs but I eventually land on a Porsche – which for some reason is covered in a fine layer of snow – and the car following that just before the massive hummer truck as a black Lamborghini, which stops me in my tracks as it is so low that I can't possibly get up on the truck – also I am quite surprised to see 2 such expensive cars parked next to each other as Denmark isn't a cheap place to buy a car.

I move around and jump maybe 3-4 cars more before I think to myself [COLOR="red"]“This is something I would do if I were dreaming”. So I look up and it all seems pretty normal, but I decide to do a reality check nonetheless. So I move my hands slightly to the sides and let myself hover above the rooftops of the cars.

Realising I am lucid I start taking to the skys, which is a habitual thought and I quickly realise that I have more important stuff to do than goof around. So I let myself drop out of flight and land on the ground again and when I do I find myself on the side walk outside the wire mesh.

I start walking up the side walk and start looking at my hands. The first basic task is my mission and I have already planned how this one is to unfold. I am somewhat excited though as I have never actually made something appear before my eyes. But I recall the visualisation of making a seed of light appear in my hand – a seed of love and light which I intend to plant in my chest and watch how it grows inside my body – while watching my hands[/COLOR] [COLOR="blue"] (It is fascinating to think that within the dream world a mental visualisation appears phenomenologically similar to how it would in the waking world, as a sort of translucent image appearing in a distinct mental space – which one could easily hypothesise being occupied by running the “world simulation” that is the dream) [/COLOR][COLOR="red"] To start out with not much is happening in my palm which is outstretched palms towards the sky. I see my fingers in a somewhat illuminated light and start focusing. Eventually I see a bright, but tiny dot of light in the middle of my palm and as I am watching it, it grows to the size of a water drop that is perfectly spherical. As I look at it it continues to grow and spikes and sparks start appearing around it leaving a distinct burning sensation in my hand as tiny specks of fire and ice are bombarding the surface of my skin.

Soon a gust of wind appears and rips the seed from my hands and I panic and jumps after it. It lands in a corner where there is some grass, but I manage to find it rather quickly. I then go all the way into the corner to avoid getting disturbed by the wind again. I take a look at the seed, my hand still being illuminated by light that reminds me of dawn. There is no pain any longer and I think of the seed representing compassion and love, as I press it into my chest. I don't feel it entering and nothing abrupt happens. I turn my focus and visual capacity towards the inside of my body and I get a view of the inside of my shoulder, but not much more, and the bright lines of light I expected aren't really there. What is worse is as I am focusing my attention like this I sense the dream world destabilising – so I start focusing outwards. At this point the dream is gone, but I am armed with patience – I have experienced this before, I maintain my focus directed outwards – although I am also aware that it would be irritating only starting half of the TotM task and not see it to fruition (literally ;). [/COLOR] [COLOR="blue"] (In previous dreams over the years experiencing this sensation would normally have led me to feeling disappointed and accepting the disappearance of the dream. However in one of the first lucid experiences since Ayahuasca the same thing happened – the visuals faded and I was left with nothing but internal and auditory stimuli – but here I just decided to wait instead of waking up and soon after I was pulled back into the dream world, albeit in a different spot than when I left)[/COLOR]

[COLOR="red"] I get flashes of a white rugged wall, it is plastered and I reach out to touch it and I sense it with my fingertips, but only very briefly. I start sensing the light of dawn characteristic of the dream world I was just in and I feel myself pulled back in. SWEET! I am back on the side walk and I decide to not focus more on the seed, I had already thought about the fact that it might take longer to grow than within a single dream – planting compassion and love in my own heart will still be an interesting theme to watch unfold over time.

So I start walking up the side walk to find a tree. I am however conscious that I would prefer finding a tree surrounded by nature, but looking around and having no experience with teleportation or portals I think I will have to settle for one of the trees by the side of the road.

I find a tree not far away, it is a very short tree and the trunk of it is very strange in that it narrows a lot towards the top, almost needle shaped. I place my hand on the tree and it feels chilly, not cold to the touch and I can feel the texture of the bark against my fingers, very authentic. I notice a curved line heading diagonally up from bottom left to top right on a point on the trunk. There is some dark green slime around the line and I wonder if the tree is forming a mouth. The slime should look unpleasant, but it doesn't – in fact it seems rather natural. I look away and at the tree again and the line has widened, though also thinned out a bit. The point is the changes to the line isn't gradual but jolty.

I think I look at the tree a couple of times more watching the line change, but it still isn't speaking to me and as I am about to give up hope and look away I hear a deep bassy rumble emanating from the tree.

“You cannot, help me – even with your flatter and good intentions.”
Astonished I turn around and face it.
“but I can help you” it says.
“How?” I ask as respectfully as I can muster, which isn't difficult as I feel very humble even towards this young tree standing amidst the concrete.
“We trees see things humans aren't equipped to see” it continues.
“Amongst our roots we keep closed the gates of hell”
“Humans aren't prepared to see this – they would freak out – but we trees have watched this for ever.”
[/COLOR][COLOR="blue"] (I have taken some artistic liberties with the sentences, for which I don't recall all of them exactly, though they were perfectly linguistic, which excited me – though the meaning of the words is represented exactly as they should be. I felt it more important to convey the intelligence, wisdom and almost all encompassing and physical presence of the tree's intentions directed at me)[/COLOR]

[COLOR="red"] I thank the tree and wonder exactly how that is a help to me, not negating it – the message felt important to me, but I think I might not be able to fully grasp it yet. [/COLOR] [COLOR="blue"] (upon awakening I got the feeling that the tree was trying to help me with one of the TotY – visiting the underworld, though I am unsure if there isn't a deeper more personal/spiritual message enclosed within as well). [/COLOR][COLOR="red"] I take off into flight thinking I have done enough tasks for now, wanting to relax a little – after briefly considering doing the painting task, but giving up cause I don't feel like finding a painting at this point. However I then again think I might not have completed the basic seed task as I haven't seen anything grow yet – I quickly glance inside my body again, but don't really see anything – more a sort of translucent view of my shoulder again. And look outwards. The skies are tuning dark and I land on a rooftop covered with old roof platings. There is a lot of moss growing on the platings and I think it might be a good idea to conjure up more of aforementioned seeds so I start doing that.

The seeds seem more vigorous and self determined than before and start flying out of my hand spinning, when they have reached an appropriate size. I still feel the burns of the sparks and ice shards. One of the seeds actually jump up the slope of the roof and enter a crack between one of the platings under a ventilation hood.

I stop producing seeds and just look at the crack and wonder if there is enough soil and nutrients for the seed to grow. After a little while slowly a thin rolled up green leaf appears from under the crack and as I continue to observe the growth I see a sort of elongated cabbage shape take form along with branches with leaves growing out of the new little plant. It also starts forming a flower and end up looking like a mixture between an orchid and a cabbage. As I watch this unfold the dream starts fading and I wake up. [/COLOR]

DILD #1:

I had an earlier dream where I was flying around with Dreamer at night. She was carrying me in her arms, but she was having difficulty flying because I was so heavy. I tried telling myself that I was as light as a feather, didn't work very well.

DILD #2:

I had another dream where I was waiting for a plane to take me to perth, but I was in the United states for some reason. I didn't know when the plane was supposed to leave and then I realized I didn't have to leave for another 3 days.

I slowly realized it was a dream and wandered around the airport for awhile. I watched workers furiously trying to clean airplanes and get the luggage on board. I also stole some food from vending machines and ate it while I calmly explored.

After awhile I decided that I wanted to do some tasks. I tried to remember some but got very nervous and worried about waking up. I woke up almost immediately, remembered some tasks, then waited to deild. I was shaken awake in the dream (back at the airport) by this chubby African girl. She was quite pretty and she had a really thick accent. I thanked her and wondered if she was one of those traditional dream guides that people keep talking about. I had her follow me around because I figured that she might be helpful.

I began walking around the halls looking for a painting; I said to myself, "There will be a painting behind me!"

There was, but then I heard the African girl say in her thick accent, "There's no painting there."

The painting immediately disappeared. I walked around a corner while saying to myself, "There is a painting around that corner!"

There was, and I made it fly into my hands with telekinesis. I was staring at it when the girl pulled at my arm. I looked back at her and she had a friend with her now. I looked back at the painting and it was now a map of Europe. I was getting a bit frustrated with this naughty DC that kept messing with me. I looked away and back at the painting again and it looked like a black and white illustration of an assembled jigsaw puzzle. I figured that was good enough so I threw it on the ground and made it grow and stretch until it was big enough for me to dive into. I guess that I should also mention that this entire time the annoying girl dc was pulling at my shirt incessantly. She was QuiTe annoying! But I tried to just ignore her.

The painting was on the ground and I was ready to dive in! I got in the standard diving stance and then dove in head first, right into a hard, solid floor. I slowly got absorbed into painting as I rested there. The world was black, I figured that I must have been in the black part of the painting so I walked until it got white. I could see more black lines off in the distance. Not the most exciting experience, but I thought it made sense. I jumped out of the painting and decided that I was now in a hospital instead of an airport. The two African girls are still there following me around. I saw this blonde lady receptionist that reminded me of one of the girls from Dr. Who. I beckoned her to follow me too as I walked outside.

It was dark and wet, and there was snow gently falling all around. I saw an old friend standing out on the curb. I figured he would be a helpful dc. I asked him if he had the mysterious seeds I needed (while also reaching in my pocket to find some just in case he didn't have any). He pulled a handful of assorted seeds from out of his pocket. They looked like an array of various nuts - cashews, almonds, macademias, and pistachios. I chose the only one I didn't recognize and threw it in the dirt. I stood there, staring at the ground with my motley crew of acquired dream characters. We eagerly waited for it to grow. Got too excited and woke up.

DILD #3:

I was at my parents' house in Colorado. My mom was cooking a vegan feast with green chili and beans. She was telling me that I should do some things for my dad so that he would be more likely to help me out if I needed it. I got really upset and said that it wasn't right that I had to do things like that as an exchange in order to have his love and support. I think I threw a tortilla in my rage. My dad came downstairs and started talking about facts and figures, keeping everything rational and away from emotions, where it was safe. I noticed that I could draw lines on the wall with my mind and I thought for a few seconds that maybe I just had super powers. Then I realized that I was dreaming and I walked outside and started to fly. I was having trouble flying but I was still enjoying it. I woke up after a few minutes of flying around the neighborhood.


DILD #4:

I was watching an 80s movie with Dreamer that had Brendan Fraser with long hair in it. It was about a group of hackers that were rebelling against these humanoid machines that had kidnapped another genius hacker for her brilliant programming skills. The hacker group had somehow managed to make it so that the machines couldn't see them, all except for one special machine that had the sense of smell, he could still smell them when they were near him. Brendan Fraser was running down the street from these special machines that had been built specifically to entice him. They had huge lower bodies that were covered in knotted pubes, it was supposed to attract him because that is what he was supposedly into, but it just looked ridiculous. He eluded them behind a wall when one of the machines saw me watching from a distance and she spat flames at me. I said to her, "Are you serious?" then shot flames back at her. It singed her slightly then I suddenly felt very poweful. I made all of the machine women in the area erupt in flames that were so hot that they turned to ashes.

I then walked over to a spot on the parking lot pavement and dropped a seed in the earth. A clone of myself separated from my body and walked off but the body that I was watching the dream from stayed to watch the plant grow. A long, vine-like plant grew straight up from the ground until it was about 5 feet tall. It then sprouted these bright red flower buds at the very top. I walked away to look for something inanimate to talk to and I decided that a car would be a good choice. I said to the nearest car, "HEY, how's it goin'?"

The car suddenly had eyes and a mouth but it appeared to be sleeping. I tried again, "Hello, are you awake?"

I noticed that I had a text message from some stranger that wanted to help me saying, "Hi, can I help you?"

I responded, "Who are you?"

Then a green-haired bully came from out of nowhere and started attacking me. I threw him to the ground to subdue him then the dream ended. I tried to stay still to wait for another dream to begin. I had a false awakening with my old friend from a previous dream and I was telling him about the lucid dream I just had and I was showing him the weird text message that interrupted me. Haha, woops.