lucid

05/07/2015

non-lucid - Notes - lucid

“Consulting on the Nuclear Power plant – picking up my new car – TotM”

I am sat in a meeting with my new work-group, or rather I am sat with them and I am suspecting we have a meeting sometime shortly. It is at the beginning of the day and I am just hovering around really, I have other places I need to be in connection with my other project – which concerns youth and alcohol use (which is an actual IRL project I am working on) . However I have a feeling that I need to stick around for a bit as if I am expected to stay there.

Eventually the leader of the project comes around, she is a darkish haired short woman, who is pretty and American or English I believe. I tell her that I am excited to be connected with the project (though I frequently experience a sense of weirdness for participating in a project for constructing a nuclear power plant, which is never really fully conscious and I don't verbalise it) . She smiles at me and asks if I know how to handle Sheila (a IRL colleague of mine, who is apparently also on this project) . At this point we are walking outside the office in a courtyard of grey concrete in the early hours of the day, there is a lot of columns around forming small walkways – it reminds me of the style of construction associated with my old primary school. As she is asking about Sheila we sort of move into the office, without really moving, but rather being moved, or the building starts encompassing us.

Inside I see Maria has appeared (an old colleague from my time in England) who is also on the project. She is saying that she is excited to be on a project where “patriarchalism” (the meaning is feminism/social constructionism in the dream) is employed and that she sees that rarely. I replay “oh really? - I haven't been on anything else but these approaches, maybe it is because people preparing to become clinicians never really take this road?” She concurs a bit and throw me a smile, showing a lot of gingiva and then looks away towards either Caidee or the project leader.

While she does this I get a lot of spreadsheets appearing in front of my eyes. They are interview questions and are getting closed down one by one. The first being closed is the most recent and contains a lot of questions and the more that gets closed down the more questions disappear. I can't really see the questions, but there is a picture of a black female student in the top right hand corner and I see her name is Caidee. I instantaneously know that she is a student helper and she has been involved with constructing the interview guide from the start.

When these spreadsheets are all closed down we are starting to sit down by the table. I am getting anxious at this point because I think we are getting ready for the meeting and I thought the meeting wouldn't be till this afternoon. I take off my trousers under the table and look down at my blueish boxer shorts. I am briefly aware of the embarrassing nature of showing legs and start looking for my sweat pants – I don't know if I ever find them, but I start wearing them regardless – I then look under the table and see my red shorts lying under there. I am surprised as I don't remember wearing these, but I pick them up nonetheless and stand up and look at the table. I see now that Sheila has appeared so I go and sit next to her. I don't know if I will be able to persuade her in anyway or get to know her position in the project as the leader has told me about – in fact I am not even sure what I am supposed to do, but I sit down anyway.

I ask about whether we have a meeting already now and I am told that we do indeed and that it is a weekly thing as well. I mull this over a bit until from behind me Christina appears (Old school/class mate) and tell me that she has received the keys from Saab and that they will be here with my car shortly. It surprise me a little seeing as I am not yet in a financially stable position and I don't know why I have already bought a car, but I think little else of it as it was part of the plan. So I grab the keys, which is a massive bundle, with a couple of car keys and 8-10 other keys and I wonder why there are so many.

I start walking down the hallway towards the entrance and Bjarne (Old friend from childhood/adolescence) and Rasmus (Old school/class mate) appear along the way and talk to me, I can't recall exactly what they say, but it seems taunting or mocking. I get to the end of the hall and enter the lift I notice the button (yes there is only one and that isn't weird! ) is slightly broken, but I press it anyway and I soon find myself outside in the school car park, that is vast and fenced in with wire mesh – and seems more like a car park belonging to a large shopping centre than a school and there is a lot of traffic.

I stand around looking at the cars driving in. There seems to be a lot of black mega trucks or hummers and I know that this probably isn't mine. I can't remember which kind of car I bought, though when a couple of silver grey smaller station cars and smart type cars start entering I get a feeling that my car is definitely silver grey, though I am still unsure about the type, but having a feeling that it isn't one of the completely little ones. A couple of grey cars enter the car park and turn towards me and park. After this a massive black hummer truck pulls in (which I think look a bit weird, but after googling “hummer truck” this morning I found a picture that looks exactly like the one)

hummer truck Photo #06

I start getting bored so I decide to jump on the bonnet of the cars parked making a neat little run/jumping course – and I am thoroughly satisfied with the sounds and feel of pressing down the metal as I jump. I start out with just common SUVs but I eventually land on a Porsche – which for some reason is covered in a fine layer of snow – and the car following that just before the massive hummer truck as a black Lamborghini, which stops me in my tracks as it is so low that I can't possibly get up on the truck – also I am quite surprised to see 2 such expensive cars parked next to each other as Denmark isn't a cheap place to buy a car.

I move around and jump maybe 3-4 cars more before I think to myself “This is something I would do if I were dreaming”. So I look up and it all seems pretty normal, but I decide to do a reality check nonetheless. So I move my hands slightly to the sides and let myself hover above the rooftops of the cars.

Realising I am lucid I start taking to the skys, which is a habitual thought and I quickly realise that I have more important stuff to do than goof around. So I let myself drop out of flight and land on the ground again and when I do I find myself on the side walk outside the wire mesh.

I start walking up the side walk and start looking at my hands. The first basic task is my mission and I have already planned how this one is to unfold. I am somewhat excited though as I have never actually made something appear before my eyes. But I recall the visualisation of making a seed of light appear in my hand – a seed of love and light which I intend to plant in my chest and watch how it grows inside my body – while watching my hands (It is fascinating to think that within the dream world a mental visualisation appears phenomenologically similar to how it would in the waking world, as a sort of translucent image appearing in a distinct mental space – which one could easily hypothesise being occupied by running the “world simulation” that is the dream) To start out with not much is happening in my palm which is outstretched palms towards the sky. I see my fingers in a somewhat illuminated light and start focusing. Eventually I see a bright, but tiny dot of light in the middle of my palm and as I am watching it, it grows to the size of a water drop that is perfectly spherical. As I look at it it continues to grow and spikes and sparks start appearing around it leaving a distinct burning sensation in my hand as tiny specks of fire and ice are bombarding the surface of my skin.

Soon a gust of wind appears and rips the seed from my hands and I panic and jumps after it. It lands in a corner where there is some grass, but I manage to find it rather quickly. I then go all the way into the corner to avoid getting disturbed by the wind again. I take a look at the seed, my hand still being illuminated by light that reminds me of dawn. There is no pain any longer and I think of the seed representing compassion and love, as I press it into my chest. I don't feel it entering and nothing abrupt happens. I turn my focus and visual capacity towards the inside of my body and I get a view of the inside of my shoulder, but not much more, and the bright lines of light I expected aren't really there. What is worse is as I am focusing my attention like this I sense the dream world destabilising – so I start focusing outwards. At this point the dream is gone, but I am armed with patience – I have experienced this before, I maintain my focus directed outwards – although I am also aware that it would be irritating only starting half of the TotM task and not see it to fruition (literally . (In previous dreams over the years experiencing this sensation would normally have led me to feeling disappointed and accepting the disappearance of the dream. However in one of the first lucid experiences since Ayahuasca the same thing happened – the visuals faded and I was left with nothing but internal and auditory stimuli – but here I just decided to wait instead of waking up and soon after I was pulled back into the dream world, albeit in a different spot than when I left)

I get flashes of a white rugged wall, it is plastered and I reach out to touch it and I sense it with my fingertips, but only very briefly. I start sensing the light of dawn characteristic of the dream world I was just in and I feel myself pulled back in. SWEET! I am back on the side walk and I decide to not focus more on the seed, I had already thought about the fact that it might take longer to grow than within a single dream – planting compassion and love in my own heart will still be an interesting theme to watch unfold over time.

So I start walking up the side walk to find a tree. I am however conscious that I would prefer finding a tree surrounded by nature, but looking around and having no experience with teleportation or portals I think I will have to settle for one of the trees by the side of the road.

I find a tree not far away, it is a very short tree and the trunk of it is very strange in that it narrows a lot towards the top, almost needle shaped. I place my hand on the tree and it feels chilly, not cold to the touch and I can feel the texture of the bark against my fingers, very authentic. I notice a curved line heading diagonally up from bottom left to top right on a point on the trunk. There is some dark green slime around the line and I wonder if the tree is forming a mouth. The slime should look unpleasant, but it doesn't – in fact it seems rather natural. I look away and at the tree again and the line has widened, though also thinned out a bit. The point is the changes to the line isn't gradual but jolty.

I think I look at the tree a couple of times more watching the line change, but it still isn't speaking to me and as I am about to give up hope and look away I hear a deep bassy rumble emanating from the tree.

“You cannot, help me – even with your flatter and good intentions.”
Astonished I turn around and face it.
“but I can help you” it says.
“How?” I ask as respectfully as I can muster, which isn't difficult as I feel very humble even towards this young tree standing amidst the concrete.
“We trees see things humans aren't equipped to see” it continues.
“Amongst our roots we keep closed the gates of hell”
“Humans aren't prepared to see this – they would freak out – but we trees have watched this for ever.”
(I have taken some artistic liberties with the sentences, for which I don't recall all of them exactly, though they were perfectly linguistic, which excited me – though the meaning of the words is represented exactly as they should be. I felt it more important to convey the intelligence, wisdom and almost all encompassing and physical presence of the tree's intentions directed at me)

I thank the tree and wonder exactly how that is a help to me, not negating it – the message felt important to me, but I think I might not be able to fully grasp it yet. (upon awakening I got the feeling that the tree was trying to help me with one of the TotY – visiting the underworld, though I am unsure if there isn't a deeper more personal/spiritual message enclosed within as well). I take off into flight thinking I have done enough tasks for now, wanting to relax a little – after briefly considering doing the painting task, but giving up cause I don't feel like finding a painting at this point. However I then again think I might not have completed the basic seed task as I haven't seen anything grow yet – I quickly glance inside my body again, but don't really see anything – more a sort of translucent view of my shoulder again. And look outwards. The skies are tuning dark and I land on a rooftop covered with old roof platings. There is a lot of moss growing on the platings and I think it might be a good idea to conjure up more of aforementioned seeds so I start doing that.

The seeds seem more vigorous and self determined than before and start flying out of my hand spinning, when they have reached an appropriate size. I still feel the burns of the sparks and ice shards. One of the seeds actually jump up the slope of the roof and enter a crack between one of the platings under a ventilation hood.

I stop producing seeds and just look at the crack and wonder if there is enough soil and nutrients for the seed to grow. After a little while slowly a thin rolled up green leaf appears from under the crack and as I continue to observe the growth I see a sort of elongated cabbage shape take form along with branches with leaves growing out of the new little plant. It also starts forming a flower and end up looking like a mixture between an orchid and a cabbage. As I watch this unfold the dream starts fading and I wake up.

I put lucid dreaming on the back burner these past few days. A combination of mucky recall and distraction of other things have kind of dragged me down. It's basically more of what was in that backlog entry. A bunch of nonlucid and semi-lucid bits.

I recall being in a star wars movie. I was on the city planet. I remember saying to myself that I thought this planet was kind of uncreative. It was just like new york city but with a more futuristic look.

I rode a floating train and somehow found myself in a cave where Jedi and Sith were fighting one another. I recall not belonging to one side or the other but Darth Vader attacked me. He knocked me down to the ground but suddenly became very conflicted about what side he thought that he really belonged to.

I then remember Yoda and *sigh* Jar Jar Binks were fighting.

...

I recall learning that there were 27 Bionicle movies by looking on a box at my friend S's house. (My friend S collects Bionicles.)

...

I remember going into the avatar state while I was semi-lucid. I was in some kind of gym class.

...

I at my college. It was the beginning of the year and they were having a festival showcasing all of the different frats and clubs that you could join. I remember these one people started something called the 'Be happy' club. It was clearly a bunch of 8-year olds and their parents and I have no idea what they were doing on a college campus.

I didn't even go over to them, because I wasn't interested. But one of them walked over to me, one of the parent women and gave me a pamphlet. It turns out they were actually this odd religious group that worshiped a god called happysan.

The more I stayed near them, the more I started to get a really creepy vibe. I started to walk the other way. I saw that the fair had for the most part disappeared and that I was now on the bike path at the edge of my town that leads to the sate park. I vaguely recognized the area but there was a large lake that was in place of the field in waking life. The path continued across a land bridge. A few of the booths including the 'be happy club' stayed around as well.

I started walking back in the direction that would take me home. I randomly became lucid. Manei appeared out of the crowd of people. She asked me to give her a piggy back ride. I told her she could for a minute. She got on my shoulders. It probably looked a bit ridiculous since she is much taller than me.

Me:"Next time, you're gonna carry me!"

Manei:"Now, Fly!"

Me:"This is probably a bad idea..."

I got about three inches off the ground, then realized how off my center of mass was and flew backwards into a big tree. We just laughed off what was actually one of my softer crashes. Manei told me that another test was coming and left.

I started flying around on my own. I was noting how the dream didn't seem to put any ceiling on how high I could fly. I remember experimenting with putting my hands in front of me like superman but this made me fly slower. Probably because I can go fastest if I put my hands behind me because I can project flames out of my hands and feet. I don't see them most of the times, but I can see them flickering out of my peripheral.

I then tried flying through the trees. I remember putting my arms out to my side and flying forward. I could then push myself from side to side to avoid the trees. I also recall seeing my friend A on the walking path. I waived 'hi' to him.

I somehow found myself in a small indoor pool area. There was a dc with short light brown hair and a black girl swimming in the pool. The boy asked me if I liked the show FairlyOddparents. I told him (honest answer here) that I thought it was obnoxious because the characters were always shouting and it seemed to repeat the same formula over and over.

Well apparently that wasn't the answer that he wanted to hear because he got mad, got out of the pool and came after me. I started to fly away, but he grabbed my leg. I spun around with my arms, boosting with fire to spin him off, but he did a flip and landed with my rotation.

I got down and we started fighting. I couldn't believe that there was a DC able to match me in combat. He didn't look to be all that in-shape. In fact he was a bit of a chunker. I almost managed to land a blow when I preformed a sweeping kick while my foot was on fire. I singed the hairs on his chinny chin chin and he staggered back into the pool.

He got back out and got me on the defensive. I thought about using my hidden blades but then I remembered that I was trying to be less violent in dreams. Instead I pinned him against the wall and put my fingers on the inside of his eyes. (Threatening to poke his eyes out)

Me:"Just drop it, Okay!"

DC:"Okay, okay!"

The dc seemed bitter about it, but he let it go. I lost the dream and woke up.

Spoiler for Notes:

The mentality that I am trying to have on violence in dreams is a more balanced one. I can be dark and violent. It's just a part of who I am and I really don't see anything wrong with that. I just need to not be excessive about it. (Remember when I rained knives on a DC), we're just going to try and avoid doing that unless we really have to.

I know many lucid dreamers try to play a pacifist and never fight against dream characters. Sure, that gives you the moral high ground when a dickhead DC beats you up and you don't fight back. But, in my opinion your doing just as much a disservice to yourself by letting other people beat you up as you would if you go just go around murdering DCs because they annoy you a little.

In other words there's a balance to be struck. You don't want to be passive, just letting others walk all over you. And you don't want to be too aggressive and attack others. You should play defensive. Only use violence when you feel you are threatened or are attacked, and you shouldn't kill or injure a DC unless you really have to. And this dream demonstrates that better than my previous dreams.

tl;dr I wouldn't recommend being a thug or Gandhi in a dream. Somewhere in the middle.

Dream One - I'm at a concert inside of a mall waiting on my ex husband to bring my kids to me. There's loud music, lots of people really close together, and fog machines making everything look hazy. I'm trying to look around for them, but the crowd is so thick I can't see through it and have to start walking around the outside perimeter hoping to catch a glimpse of them when they get there. I walk around a group of six or seven people and see my kids and their dad behind them. I walk up and say hey, and apologize for not being able to see them through the crowd, I hope they didn't wait long. My ex husband leaves, and I show my kids some sort of meter that I have in my hand that I got from hot topic. It's linked to the concert somehow, that whenever you attend the concerts with this meter it gets you free merchandise credit. I have two more meters in my pocket, one for each kid. We talk about all the cool pokemon and pony merch they have and start planning what we want to spend our concert attendance points on as we walk out of the large concert room and into the main mall. The mall is bigger than any mall I have ever seen, and I've been to a pretty big one in DC when I was a kid. As we are walking through we see lots of stores already closed up for the night. We go down an escalator, and there's another escalator across from it. Music starts playing, and a slightly heavier than average woman in a sexy tight red dress starts dancing through the mall. She's wearing some sort of paper mache TV mask that makes her look like she has an old TV from the sixties for a head. She's singing as she dances about how much she loves shopping and how wonderful the mall stores are. We hurry towards the exit of the mall and I wake up.

Dream Two - I'm heading out to my car in a big parking lot outside of a medium sized building. I think it might be a school or college that I am leaving, perhaps some sort of educational convention. There's a lady and a dude who are waiting on rides and I offer to take them home so they don't have to wait. Both accept my offer, and my car is parked in one of the first few parking spaces so we don't walk far. I decide to take the T tops off and ride them home in style. I get in the car, and the man gets in the passengers seat and I start driving off. I realize the lady got distracted and didn't get in the car when I hear her yelling at me to wait while she chases down the car. Unfortunately I had just pulled onto the main road when she was close enough to hear. I try to stop and put the car in reverse as there is nothing coming, but as soon as I start backing up the car a bunch of other cars start coming up the hill behind us and honking their horns at me for driving like an idiot. I ignore them and back right back into the parking lot anyways. The lady is no longer there. I drive a circle back through the parking lot looking for her, and finally find her back at the front of the building waiting on her ride. I try to apologize, but she's not mad at all. She thanks me for forgetting her, and tells me that by staying there a little longer a great opportunity opened up for her. She doesn't elaborate on what the opportunity is. I offer again to take her home, and she says she needs to stay there another half our or so, I can take her home only if I am willing to wait that half our. I don't want to wait, I want to get home. The man I was giving a ride home to starts talking, and while I can't remember what he said, I got really aggravated and annoyed by it. I stop the car just before I leave the parking lot and tell him to get out. he argues, and I start cursing and yelling at him until he gets out and slams the door. I drive off and wake up.

Dream Three - I am once again leaving a college, this time on foot. There's a hill very much like the one at my late Grandma W's house that I am walking up. I look at my hand and think it looks weird. I start counting my fingers, and realize I have 8 on one hand. That's not right, I count again. Once more, 8 fingers. I realize I MUST be dreaming! I try to concentrate once more on my hands, now curious how I can have 8 fingers and it look almost normal. This time however, I only have the normal 5 fingers, and decide that maybe my counting is off in dreams and not so much that my hand actually had 8 fingers. At first I continue walking up the hill, then decide that I am not going to continue the path of the dream, I am going to go out looking for K instead. I turn right and head towards an older building that I recognize from a dream in the past. In the dream I am pretty sure I had seen K in that building before so it's a good place to start looking. Lucidity starts slipping but not completely. The building has different little shops in it, one of them being some sort of bass pro shops home store that I have never dreamed of before. I walk into the bass pro shop home store as it looks like the main entrance, and then go up some stairs into a little office lobby. There are different little office doors with different titles on them, one of the is the Faerie Arcane office. I knock on that door, thinking that K must have something to do with magic that we meet in dreams as we do. Lucidity is mostly gone, but I at least follow my purpose to find K. The door swings open when I knock and there are three ladies in the office. All three are middle aged, with tons of makeup and jewelry and their hair styled with tons of hair spray and gel. One is at a desk, and the other two are standing in the corners, and they are all chatting fervently. They turn and look at me, the one at the desk demanding to know what I want. I tell them I want to speak with the faerie arcane office about someone I am seeking, and they tell me they are too busy and I will have to come back tomorrow. I close the door disappointed, and start walking out of the building. I wake up.

Dream Four - My boy friend and I are working. I realize it's getting about time for our doctors appointments so I got to tell him it's time to leave. He tells me his appointment isn't until three, even though I am so sure it's at 2:30. We leave anyways. I don't remember any drive, it's like we are just suddenly there. The building looks like a grocery store building, however it has a neon purple sign on the front that says, "Mydera's" I also notice my exhusband and his new wife and their families chilling out on the roof of the building. I have a brief flash back memory of putting the "Mydera's" sign on the building in The Sims 3, then we get out of the car and walk in. We are late for my boyfriend appointment, it was in fact at 2:30 not 3:00. Also, the appointment I thought was there was with a different doctor an hour away and there's no way to make it there in time. We decide instead to go into the movie theater in the building. There are rows of sofas and love seats instead of movie chairs, and the movie screen has Splatoon on it. Everyone in the theatre is playing on the same screen, but the screen doesn't split off into individual character views, it just shows the whole stage making it impossible to tell who you are and where you are going. I get frustrated that I can't figure out which character I am or see around most of the stage and that frustration wakes me up.

Dream Five - I am at work inspecting a chair. There are two slubs on the outback of this chair. One at the top and one at the bottom. My boyfriend comes up behind me as I place red tape on the slubs and asks what I put the tape on there for. I tell him there are slubs in the fabric, then he sarcastically replies, "No, those are fine, they're supposed to be there!" I shake my head and then set down my red tape. If my boyfriend is there then it must be lunch time. He's putting huge pickle chips on a hamburger. The pickles look weird, they are all huge and lumpy. Realizing they don't look right wakes me up.

My daughter who was visiting family out of state had to go to the er last night for a sparkler burn. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep b/c I felt just awful about being four hours away, even though she was only at the hospital for an hour and was just fine, it was just a precautionary measure on the part of my family to take her to the ER and be checked. So I took 5htp as well as a couple of Benedryl to help me sleep. Having had the dream of K a few nights ago, I also took a prenatal vitamin to help build back my dream recall. Usually I have to take the vitamins a week straight to get good recall, but I guess mixed with the medicine and the attempt to take notes the vitamin worked immediately. I also got about 10 hours of sleep thanks to the medicine, where as I am normally lucky to get 8 full hours. I also had a few almost dreams early in the night where I was awake enough to hear my boyfriend on the computer, but still seeing little movies behind my eyes. The moment I would acknowledge however that I must be falling asleep, I'd wake up fully and not even remember anything other than, "I was dreaming of splat rollers" or something equally vague. All in all though, it was far more productive a dream night than I anticipated. If I am able to keep up with my dream journal, I won't expect such good results most of the time lol.

05/07/2015

non-lucid - [COLOR="blue"]Notes[/COLOR] - [COLOR="red"]lucid[/COLOR]

“Consulting on the Nuclear Power plant – picking up my new car – TotM”

I am sat in a meeting with my new work-group, or rather I am sat with them and I am suspecting we have a meeting sometime shortly. It is at the beginning of the day and I am just hovering around really, I have other places I need to be in connection with my other project – which concerns youth and alcohol use [COLOR="blue"] (which is an actual IRL project I am working on) [/COLOR]. However I have a feeling that I need to stick around for a bit as if I am expected to stay there.

Eventually the leader of the project comes around, she is a darkish haired short woman, who is pretty and American or English I believe. I tell her that I am excited to be connected with the project [COLOR="blue"] (though I frequently experience a sense of weirdness for participating in a project for constructing a nuclear power plant, which is never really fully conscious and I don't verbalise it) [/COLOR]. She smiles at me and asks if I know how to handle Sheila [COLOR="blue"] (a IRL colleague of mine, who is apparently also on this project) [/COLOR]. At this point we are walking outside the office in a courtyard of grey concrete in the early hours of the day, there is a lot of columns around forming small walkways – it reminds me of the style of construction associated with my old primary school. As she is asking about Sheila we sort of move into the office, without really moving, but rather being moved, or the building starts encompassing us.

Inside I see Maria has appeared [COLOR="blue"](an old colleague from my time in England)[/COLOR] who is also on the project. She is saying that she is excited to be on a project where “patriarchalism” [COLOR="blue"] (the meaning is feminism/social constructionism in the dream) [/COLOR] is employed and that she sees that rarely. I replay “oh really? - I haven't been on anything else but these approaches, maybe it is because people preparing to become clinicians never really take this road?” She concurs a bit and throw me a smile, showing a lot of gingiva and then looks away towards either Caidee or the project leader.

While she does this I get a lot of spreadsheets appearing in front of my eyes. They are interview questions and are getting closed down one by one. The first being closed is the most recent and contains a lot of questions and the more that gets closed down the more questions disappear. I can't really see the questions, but there is a picture of a black female student in the top right hand corner and I see her name is Caidee. I instantaneously know that she is a student helper and she has been involved with constructing the interview guide from the start.

When these spreadsheets are all closed down we are starting to sit down by the table. I am getting anxious at this point because I think we are getting ready for the meeting and I thought the meeting wouldn't be till this afternoon. I take off my trousers under the table and look down at my blueish boxer shorts. I am briefly aware of the embarrassing nature of showing legs and start looking for my sweat pants – I don't know if I ever find them, but I start wearing them regardless – I then look under the table and see my red shorts lying under there. I am surprised as I don't remember wearing these, but I pick them up nonetheless and stand up and look at the table. I see now that Sheila has appeared so I go and sit next to her. I don't know if I will be able to persuade her in anyway or get to know her position in the project as the leader has told me about – in fact I am not even sure what I am supposed to do, but I sit down anyway.

I ask about whether we have a meeting already now and I am told that we do indeed and that it is a weekly thing as well. I mull this over a bit until from behind me Christina appears [COLOR="blue"] (Old school/class mate) [/COLOR] and tell me that she has received the keys from Saab and that they will be here with my car shortly. It surprise me a little seeing as I am not yet in a financially stable position and I don't know why I have already bought a car, but I think little else of it as it was part of the plan. So I grab the keys, which is a massive bundle, with a couple of car keys and 8-10 other keys and I wonder why there are so many.

I start walking down the hallway towards the entrance and Bjarne [COLOR="blue"] (Old friend from childhood/adolescence) [/COLOR] and Rasmus [COLOR="blue"] (Old school/class mate) [/COLOR] appear along the way and talk to me, I can't recall exactly what they say, but it seems taunting or mocking. I get to the end of the hall and enter the lift I notice the button [COLOR="blue"] (yes there is only one and that isn't weird! :P) [/COLOR] is slightly broken, but I press it anyway and I soon find myself outside in the school car park, that is vast and fenced in with wire mesh – and seems more like a car park belonging to a large shopping centre than a school and there is a lot of traffic.

I stand around looking at the cars driving in. There seems to be a lot of black mega trucks or hummers and I know that this probably isn't mine. I can't remember which kind of car I bought, though when a couple of silver grey smaller station cars and smart type cars start entering I get a feeling that my car is definitely silver grey, though I am still unsure about the type, but having a feeling that it isn't one of the completely little ones. A couple of grey cars enter the car park and turn towards me and park. After this a massive black hummer truck pulls in [COLOR="blue"] (which I think look a bit weird, but after googling “hummer truck” this morning I found a picture that looks exactly like the one) [/COLOR]

[url=http://prettycarz.com/odin/gallery/hummer%20truck/hummer-truck-06.html]hummer truck Photo #06[/url]

I start getting bored so I decide to jump on the bonnet of the cars parked making a neat little run/jumping course – and I am thoroughly satisfied with the sounds and feel of pressing down the metal as I jump. I start out with just common SUVs but I eventually land on a Porsche – which for some reason is covered in a fine layer of snow – and the car following that just before the massive hummer truck as a black Lamborghini, which stops me in my tracks as it is so low that I can't possibly get up on the truck – also I am quite surprised to see 2 such expensive cars parked next to each other as Denmark isn't a cheap place to buy a car.

I move around and jump maybe 3-4 cars more before I think to myself [COLOR="red"]“This is something I would do if I were dreaming”. So I look up and it all seems pretty normal, but I decide to do a reality check nonetheless. So I move my hands slightly to the sides and let myself hover above the rooftops of the cars.

Realising I am lucid I start taking to the skys, which is a habitual thought and I quickly realise that I have more important stuff to do than goof around. So I let myself drop out of flight and land on the ground again and when I do I find myself on the side walk outside the wire mesh.

I start walking up the side walk and start looking at my hands. The first basic task is my mission and I have already planned how this one is to unfold. I am somewhat excited though as I have never actually made something appear before my eyes. But I recall the visualisation of making a seed of light appear in my hand – a seed of love and light which I intend to plant in my chest and watch how it grows inside my body – while watching my hands[/COLOR] [COLOR="blue"] (It is fascinating to think that within the dream world a mental visualisation appears phenomenologically similar to how it would in the waking world, as a sort of translucent image appearing in a distinct mental space – which one could easily hypothesise being occupied by running the “world simulation” that is the dream) [/COLOR][COLOR="red"] To start out with not much is happening in my palm which is outstretched palms towards the sky. I see my fingers in a somewhat illuminated light and start focusing. Eventually I see a bright, but tiny dot of light in the middle of my palm and as I am watching it, it grows to the size of a water drop that is perfectly spherical. As I look at it it continues to grow and spikes and sparks start appearing around it leaving a distinct burning sensation in my hand as tiny specks of fire and ice are bombarding the surface of my skin.

Soon a gust of wind appears and rips the seed from my hands and I panic and jumps after it. It lands in a corner where there is some grass, but I manage to find it rather quickly. I then go all the way into the corner to avoid getting disturbed by the wind again. I take a look at the seed, my hand still being illuminated by light that reminds me of dawn. There is no pain any longer and I think of the seed representing compassion and love, as I press it into my chest. I don't feel it entering and nothing abrupt happens. I turn my focus and visual capacity towards the inside of my body and I get a view of the inside of my shoulder, but not much more, and the bright lines of light I expected aren't really there. What is worse is as I am focusing my attention like this I sense the dream world destabilising – so I start focusing outwards. At this point the dream is gone, but I am armed with patience – I have experienced this before, I maintain my focus directed outwards – although I am also aware that it would be irritating only starting half of the TotM task and not see it to fruition (literally ;). [/COLOR] [COLOR="blue"] (In previous dreams over the years experiencing this sensation would normally have led me to feeling disappointed and accepting the disappearance of the dream. However in one of the first lucid experiences since Ayahuasca the same thing happened – the visuals faded and I was left with nothing but internal and auditory stimuli – but here I just decided to wait instead of waking up and soon after I was pulled back into the dream world, albeit in a different spot than when I left)[/COLOR]

[COLOR="red"] I get flashes of a white rugged wall, it is plastered and I reach out to touch it and I sense it with my fingertips, but only very briefly. I start sensing the light of dawn characteristic of the dream world I was just in and I feel myself pulled back in. SWEET! I am back on the side walk and I decide to not focus more on the seed, I had already thought about the fact that it might take longer to grow than within a single dream – planting compassion and love in my own heart will still be an interesting theme to watch unfold over time.

So I start walking up the side walk to find a tree. I am however conscious that I would prefer finding a tree surrounded by nature, but looking around and having no experience with teleportation or portals I think I will have to settle for one of the trees by the side of the road.

I find a tree not far away, it is a very short tree and the trunk of it is very strange in that it narrows a lot towards the top, almost needle shaped. I place my hand on the tree and it feels chilly, not cold to the touch and I can feel the texture of the bark against my fingers, very authentic. I notice a curved line heading diagonally up from bottom left to top right on a point on the trunk. There is some dark green slime around the line and I wonder if the tree is forming a mouth. The slime should look unpleasant, but it doesn't – in fact it seems rather natural. I look away and at the tree again and the line has widened, though also thinned out a bit. The point is the changes to the line isn't gradual but jolty.

I think I look at the tree a couple of times more watching the line change, but it still isn't speaking to me and as I am about to give up hope and look away I hear a deep bassy rumble emanating from the tree.

“You cannot, help me – even with your flatter and good intentions.”
Astonished I turn around and face it.
“but I can help you” it says.
“How?” I ask as respectfully as I can muster, which isn't difficult as I feel very humble even towards this young tree standing amidst the concrete.
“We trees see things humans aren't equipped to see” it continues.
“Amongst our roots we keep closed the gates of hell”
“Humans aren't prepared to see this – they would freak out – but we trees have watched this for ever.”
[/COLOR][COLOR="blue"] (I have taken some artistic liberties with the sentences, for which I don't recall all of them exactly, though they were perfectly linguistic, which excited me – though the meaning of the words is represented exactly as they should be. I felt it more important to convey the intelligence, wisdom and almost all encompassing and physical presence of the tree's intentions directed at me)[/COLOR]

[COLOR="red"] I thank the tree and wonder exactly how that is a help to me, not negating it – the message felt important to me, but I think I might not be able to fully grasp it yet. [/COLOR] [COLOR="blue"] (upon awakening I got the feeling that the tree was trying to help me with one of the TotY – visiting the underworld, though I am unsure if there isn't a deeper more personal/spiritual message enclosed within as well). [/COLOR][COLOR="red"] I take off into flight thinking I have done enough tasks for now, wanting to relax a little – after briefly considering doing the painting task, but giving up cause I don't feel like finding a painting at this point. However I then again think I might not have completed the basic seed task as I haven't seen anything grow yet – I quickly glance inside my body again, but don't really see anything – more a sort of translucent view of my shoulder again. And look outwards. The skies are tuning dark and I land on a rooftop covered with old roof platings. There is a lot of moss growing on the platings and I think it might be a good idea to conjure up more of aforementioned seeds so I start doing that.

The seeds seem more vigorous and self determined than before and start flying out of my hand spinning, when they have reached an appropriate size. I still feel the burns of the sparks and ice shards. One of the seeds actually jump up the slope of the roof and enter a crack between one of the platings under a ventilation hood.

I stop producing seeds and just look at the crack and wonder if there is enough soil and nutrients for the seed to grow. After a little while slowly a thin rolled up green leaf appears from under the crack and as I continue to observe the growth I see a sort of elongated cabbage shape take form along with branches with leaves growing out of the new little plant. It also starts forming a flower and end up looking like a mixture between an orchid and a cabbage. As I watch this unfold the dream starts fading and I wake up. [/COLOR]

DILD #1:

I had an earlier dream where I was flying around with Dreamer at night. She was carrying me in her arms, but she was having difficulty flying because I was so heavy. I tried telling myself that I was as light as a feather, didn't work very well.

DILD #2:

I had another dream where I was waiting for a plane to take me to perth, but I was in the United states for some reason. I didn't know when the plane was supposed to leave and then I realized I didn't have to leave for another 3 days.

I slowly realized it was a dream and wandered around the airport for awhile. I watched workers furiously trying to clean airplanes and get the luggage on board. I also stole some food from vending machines and ate it while I calmly explored.

After awhile I decided that I wanted to do some tasks. I tried to remember some but got very nervous and worried about waking up. I woke up almost immediately, remembered some tasks, then waited to deild. I was shaken awake in the dream (back at the airport) by this chubby African girl. She was quite pretty and she had a really thick accent. I thanked her and wondered if she was one of those traditional dream guides that people keep talking about. I had her follow me around because I figured that she might be helpful.

I began walking around the halls looking for a painting; I said to myself, "There will be a painting behind me!"

There was, but then I heard the African girl say in her thick accent, "There's no painting there."

The painting immediately disappeared. I walked around a corner while saying to myself, "There is a painting around that corner!"

There was, and I made it fly into my hands with telekinesis. I was staring at it when the girl pulled at my arm. I looked back at her and she had a friend with her now. I looked back at the painting and it was now a map of Europe. I was getting a bit frustrated with this naughty DC that kept messing with me. I looked away and back at the painting again and it looked like a black and white illustration of an assembled jigsaw puzzle. I figured that was good enough so I threw it on the ground and made it grow and stretch until it was big enough for me to dive into. I guess that I should also mention that this entire time the annoying girl dc was pulling at my shirt incessantly. She was QuiTe annoying! But I tried to just ignore her.

The painting was on the ground and I was ready to dive in! I got in the standard diving stance and then dove in head first, right into a hard, solid floor. I slowly got absorbed into painting as I rested there. The world was black, I figured that I must have been in the black part of the painting so I walked until it got white. I could see more black lines off in the distance. Not the most exciting experience, but I thought it made sense. I jumped out of the painting and decided that I was now in a hospital instead of an airport. The two African girls are still there following me around. I saw this blonde lady receptionist that reminded me of one of the girls from Dr. Who. I beckoned her to follow me too as I walked outside.

It was dark and wet, and there was snow gently falling all around. I saw an old friend standing out on the curb. I figured he would be a helpful dc. I asked him if he had the mysterious seeds I needed (while also reaching in my pocket to find some just in case he didn't have any). He pulled a handful of assorted seeds from out of his pocket. They looked like an array of various nuts - cashews, almonds, macademias, and pistachios. I chose the only one I didn't recognize and threw it in the dirt. I stood there, staring at the ground with my motley crew of acquired dream characters. We eagerly waited for it to grow. Got too excited and woke up.

DILD #3:

I was at my parents' house in Colorado. My mom was cooking a vegan feast with green chili and beans. She was telling me that I should do some things for my dad so that he would be more likely to help me out if I needed it. I got really upset and said that it wasn't right that I had to do things like that as an exchange in order to have his love and support. I think I threw a tortilla in my rage. My dad came downstairs and started talking about facts and figures, keeping everything rational and away from emotions, where it was safe. I noticed that I could draw lines on the wall with my mind and I thought for a few seconds that maybe I just had super powers. Then I realized that I was dreaming and I walked outside and started to fly. I was having trouble flying but I was still enjoying it. I woke up after a few minutes of flying around the neighborhood.


DILD #4:

I was watching an 80s movie with Dreamer that had Brendan Fraser with long hair in it. It was about a group of hackers that were rebelling against these humanoid machines that had kidnapped another genius hacker for her brilliant programming skills. The hacker group had somehow managed to make it so that the machines couldn't see them, all except for one special machine that had the sense of smell, he could still smell them when they were near him. Brendan Fraser was running down the street from these special machines that had been built specifically to entice him. They had huge lower bodies that were covered in knotted pubes, it was supposed to attract him because that is what he was supposedly into, but it just looked ridiculous. He eluded them behind a wall when one of the machines saw me watching from a distance and she spat flames at me. I said to her, "Are you serious?" then shot flames back at her. It singed her slightly then I suddenly felt very poweful. I made all of the machine women in the area erupt in flames that were so hot that they turned to ashes.

I then walked over to a spot on the parking lot pavement and dropped a seed in the earth. A clone of myself separated from my body and walked off but the body that I was watching the dream from stayed to watch the plant grow. A long, vine-like plant grew straight up from the ground until it was about 5 feet tall. It then sprouted these bright red flower buds at the very top. I walked away to look for something inanimate to talk to and I decided that a car would be a good choice. I said to the nearest car, "HEY, how's it goin'?"

The car suddenly had eyes and a mouth but it appeared to be sleeping. I tried again, "Hello, are you awake?"

I noticed that I had a text message from some stranger that wanted to help me saying, "Hi, can I help you?"

I responded, "Who are you?"

Then a green-haired bully came from out of nowhere and started attacking me. I threw him to the ground to subdue him then the dream ended. I tried to stay still to wait for another dream to begin. I had a false awakening with my old friend from a previous dream and I was telling him about the lucid dream I just had and I was showing him the weird text message that interrupted me. Haha, woops.

My sleep schedule has been extremely poor for the last few days as on thursday and friday night I only got 3 hours of sleep. Today I made up for that and got insane REM rebound to the point where I lost track of how many dreams I had during my NAP. Here's the dreams I remembered:

1. I am inside of a huge house and seem to be on the second floor of it. The floor is covered in white carpet that is really soft and the walls are painted white. I walk through the rooms on this floor all by myself. No one else seems to be in the house with me. Suddenly I become Lucid. "Haha nice, I'm back" I think to myself. I look around more and enjoy the solitude that I am experiencing being all alone. It is so peaceful.
"Hey Cory" I hear from behind me. All I'm thinking at the moment is, "What the hell, I thought I was by myself". I turn around and see my mom, dad, and sister all just standing still and staring at me. "Uhh hey" I say back. I decide to mess around with the dream version of my family. "No way, you guys are lucid too?!? That's crazy, the whole family is lucid!" I tell them. "Yep, we sure are all lucid" my mom replies(Lmao). "Aright, I have a challenge for you guys, lets see who can stay in the dream the longest" I say. They all show signs of agreement. "Ok go" I then tell them. Immediately the dream version of my mom starts fading and becoming invisible as though she is leaving the dream. "Wow that was fast" I think to myself. In seconds my mom's body is completely gone, and as soon as it is, the dream version of my sister starts doing the same thing. Haha what a challenge.
"This is too easy" I think. Suddenly my vision starts going bad and I can tell it is fading. "Oh no, I'm destabilizing" I realize. I start looking around inventively and I jump around and touch whatever is near me. Everything goes back to normal and I have now re-stabilized. I look around again and see that my dad has disappeared. I walk around the corner of the hallway I'm now in and the house opens up into a huge mall. The ground is covered in white tile and the walls are painted white still. I walk into this mall area and start walking around to explore. I see a mattress store and a girl whose party I went to a while back. I walk into the store and go up to her. "I haven't seen you in a while" I say with a smirk on my face. "Yeah, I know" she says in the most seductive way I have ever heard somebody say those words.
The beast version of myself starts coming alive and now I want to bang her so hard. "Why don't we take this somewhere private" she tells me once again, even more seductively than before. Why is it that even when I try avoiding sex it always seems to come to me. "No, right here is fine" I tell her. She takes off her skinny jeans and panties and bends over with her hands against the wall. I'm not going to tell you what happens next because really, it's no mystery- we bang. After that I tell her "I'll be back for round 2 tonight" and then I leave her. I walk through the mall some more and come by a place that looks like some sort of classroom. I walk into this classroom and it is full of girls. My dreaming mind knows me well.
I walk over to a desk that's next to a really fine girl and sit down. "So what are we learning today?" I ask her. "We're taking a quiz over sexy texting" She tells me. "No way, I happen to be a master in that area" I say. "Okay, then why don't you show us your skills" she giggles. She calls the teacher over and tells her to give me a quiz. Suddenly the projector in the room turns on and the quiz is on the screen. I guess I'm taking my quiz in front of all of these girls. For the quiz, each question has 3 text replies that you would send to a girl in an attempt to turn her on. I have to pick the best one and the girls decide if its good. The first question pops up. I read the text that the girl has "sent me" and look at all of the replies that I could send her.
"That one looks good" I think to myself. I pick answer B. All of the girls in the room see my answer clearly and look over to me with a naughty look on their faces. The fine girl sitting next to me gets really close to me and whispers in my ear, "Wow, you're good" except the way she says it sounds extremely sexy. The vibe in this classroom with all these girls is now starting to feel really hot and sexy and I'm not sure if I'm about to have a huge classroom orgy or not.
-I don't remember the rest of the dream beyond here.

2. Once again I had just walked down the staircase in my house. As I walked into the foyer I immediately became lucid and looked around out of curiosity. Suddenly my mom walks into the foyer as well. "Cory what are you doing?" she asks. "Who knows mom" I answer back. I then jump off of the ground and start levitating. My mom just stands where she is and looks at me in total awe. I lean forward on my stomach and start flying around the foyer, but it's quite tricky considering it is a small area even though it has a ceiling height of around 40 feet. I start to practice my flying skills by stopping on a dime and making sharp turns and other things such as stalling for a few seconds and stopping myself before I hit the ground.
Once I get back to the area where my mom is, I turn my back to the front door window and then smash through it while still flying. I am now outside in my neighborhood and everything looks pretty much the same. I fly really low to the ground on my stomach and for some reason my legs are lifted up and to someone watching me I look like I'm skydiving except for I'm not falling from 30,000 feet or falling at all- I'm flying. After a minute or so of that I land on the ground and decide that I want to run like the flash. I run down my street with extreme speed. About 10 seconds into doing so though, my body starts leaning back and I can't stop myself from doing it. I continue running down the street, but while doing so I see glimpses of myself in 3rd person and I can see that I am indeed running super fast, but it also looks like I'm trying to play limbo while doing it because of how far I'm leaning back.
-I don't remember the rest of the dream.

Breaking The Fast
(Too lazy to be more detailed)
I was walking to a hotel room with Dave Clarke maybe. Get in room and see home and alone with 2 kids.
They're pale. Back at home eating. Realize It may hurt breaking fast my fast. I start eating a plate of meat. I soon realize it's a dream and I can eat whatever. Someone laughs as if I should have known that already. I grab a fruit cake that's in the pantry. It's in a shape of a square firework.


Side Notes: I was on a 4 day water fast when I had this lucid. It's been a while since I had a lucid dream. I wasn't fully lucid, just felt the freedom.

At a small hotel, help solve a mystery of where money is hidden to pay for repairs so the female owner won't have to close down. We find the money in a hidden room, and tell the woman she should go get a safe at Walmart or Staples for $50 to keep it all in.
Go astral, and spend some time flying.
Then I am in a dream again, driving fast on a rural road and DCs are yelling at me as I go by. I miss my turn and become lucid, drive to a place I know I've been before, a big white house, empty, next to a huge pond that has nature habitat signs all around. What a perfect place for retreats and swimming, I think. I turn the car around on a wooded track past the pond and drive back out. This place would be great to buy -- I wonder if it's real and how much it is. I remind myself to remember to write these dreams down when I wake up.

I was looking under the bed for my two cats, and they were there, but to my surprise I found a third! It was an enormous calico, at least twice the size of any other cat I'd ever seen, and unbelievably fat. Startled by this strange discovery, I pointed it out to my husband. He gave me a suspicious look and said, "That's Crowl," as if explaining the obvious.

"He must have at least fifteen percent of the Internet!" I exclaimed, thinking that there's no way such an unusual cat could avoid becoming an Internet sensation. My husband nodded in confirmation.

"Where did he come from?" I inquired. It seemed like a reasonable question, since I had never seen this cat before but my husband appeared to be familiar with him.

Again my husband looked at me in wary confusion, as if he couldn't understand why he had to keep telling me things I should know perfectly well. "We got him from Donna Slope."

"Who's Donna Slope?" The tension was growing with every question I asked. My husband was now staring at me as if he feared that I had finally lost my mind. I gathered that this was the name of someone we knew quite well, for for the life of me I could not remember a single detail about her.

I noticed that the sliding door to the patio was open, and one of our own cats and Crowl had gone outside. I expressed alarm: ours is an elderly indoor cat, and definitely not allowed outside without close supervision. My husband seemed strangely unconcerned: "It's okay, he'll follow Crowl." I was not reassured. "We'll have to talk about this later," I said, indicating the events of the entire morning, and went out after the cats.

The two were already walking along the side of the house toward the street. To my alarm I saw that the front gate was open, and they went right through it. For some reason after I caught up with them I picked up Crowl first. As I walked back along the side of the house I noticed an assortment of little pumpkins or round gourds next to the path. One green one was rattling violently as if something were trying to get out. This piqued my curiosity, but I could not investigate with my arms full of cat, so I resolved to take a closer look after both cats were secured back indoors. I unceremoniously dumped Crowl back inside the bedroom, making sure to close the screen door behind him, and then went back for the other cat.

I was worried at having left my cat unattended, but reminded myself that he moved very slowly in his old age and he could not have gone far. As long as he hadn't blundered out into the street, he should be okay. I soon spotted him next to the sidewalk chewing on grass... but something was amiss. There were now two cats of his appearance. I studied them closely until I thought I was sure which one was him, and carried him back inside. After he was safely secured in the house, I went back to investigate those pumpkins.

The pumpkins ranged in color from green to orange, and seams indicated that the tops could be lifted like those of jack-o-lanterns. What did I expect to find inside? What if it was a coiled up snake, and it bit me? I brushed aside the fear impatiently: the only reason to be afraid of a snake is if you think it might have deadly poison, but that is quite rare. Most snakebites are harmless. Still, why did I want to look inside the pumpkins? I needed a good reason. "Curiosity," I concluded. "Curiosity is the desire to know more." That seemed like a good enough reason in itself.

The first few pumpkins were hollowed out as I anticipated, but they contained only vague shapes, like something was still buried in the pumpkin flesh. I peered closely at one and I thought it looked lizard-shaped. "Maybe they aren't ready to hatch yet," I concluded. I reached the green one that had been shaking violently. Surely this one was ready! I stopped and tried to imagine what I would most like to find inside, and decided on one of those little troll dolls. Wouldn't be cool to find one that had come to life? I lifted the top and... it was just another lizard. This was vaguely disappointing after I had gotten my hopes up for something more exotic.

After going back in the house I started thinking hard. I realized something very strange was going on today, and I needed to figure out what it was. My husband was acting very uncharacteristically, and I was apparently unfamiliar with major details of my own life. What could it be? Was it related to time travel? My current situation felt very similar to the life I knew, but not identical... could I have somehow "jumped the tracks" to a different timeline, a different possible present?

Later I was shelving some books in the kitchen when another possibility came to mind: I could be dreaming. At first this felt very unlikely, but I knew that apperances could be deceiving, and I would need to test thoroughly. I began by looking at a book on the shelf and trying to withdraw it through will alone. Nothing happened, but I thought it might just need a headstart, so I pulled it out about an inch with my fingers, then tried to finish using only mental strength. This time it worked! I let the book hover in the air above my palm to confirm that I was controlling it with my thoughts.

Alright, so I'm definitely dreaming. Shit. That means I have to remember everything so I can write it down when I wake up. I started going over details from the morning, listing them aloud to better fix them in memory. "Crowl... Donna Slope... lizards in pumpkins..." I'm sure several other things happened that morning that I'm now forgetting, but I lost lucidity and had another long NLD before waking up, so some of the details have faded.

I flew above earth... I felt big... and small at the same time. I felt love... I felt sadness... as I looked down to earth. My shining white long wings carried me slowly forward... At the same time I saw some russian commander planing destruction... small touch sensitive bomblets looking like candies... smiling devilishly... At the same time I saw destruction. Destroyed houses... I saw dead people... Lonely children. Impassive soldiers in tanks... desperate people... pain... And I wept. My tears were falling down like rain... I flew and I wept... I loved them all. I couldn't help anybody, I was ethereal...

Remarks:
Sad experience...
My wings were hundreds of meters long.
As I flew, I didn't move my wings.
WILD with about 20 subjective minutes length.

Out at a restaurant in an alternate reality, lucid. DD wakes me up IRL, lost most of the recall.

Morning of July 3, 2015. Friday.



The prior evening into this morning was completely filled with a different style and route of dreaming I usually take - resulting in different dream types and levels than usual. I remained fully lucid in and out of sleep for several hours (more common when I was around sixteen), fully aware that I am the sole dream-maker and thus without challenge or threat unless I manifest it in-dream (as I did with dinosaurs and such when much younger), with no change in overall focus, yet since I mostly decided to be a “watcher” (and with no scripting or visual conditioning) events just unfolded randomly and without much structure or purpose.

One of the scenes just involved looking at some sort of A4 form, possibly an application of some sort such as that for a patent cover. A child had drawn an airplane over it so that it almost looks as if the airplane is in a faux “bird cage” (in viewing it all as one scene, which includes the otherwise blank horizontal lines of the application). I did not even consider this possible metaphorical play (something related to freedom, I think - or something regarding the nature of lucidity itself) until I made a near-facsimile of the scene in real life, which I find often helps me determine additional meanings or layers. However, this is probably just an association with how our youngest daughter (age two) sometimes draws a picture as such on a blank (but lined like notebook paper) page of my wife’s journal - though does not damage it otherwise.

For quite some time, I am lying in bed with a younger version of my wife and think that I should probably get dressed before I get up (should I get an idea to do anything other than love-making) as, even though I do not really care that we are in a building that is open on at least three sides and there is at least one (unknown) other older female in the area, I should still have some covering - especially as the weather has been cooler lately. The sense of legs touching legs as I rest is quite realistic - the sense of touch being typically augmented to where I am not sure if I even want to do anything else in my dream. On my right near the bed (and seemingly the only internally-rendered wall of the structure), I notice about five pairs of underpants on the floor that I had apparently left there before, which seems a little preposterous for some reason, even considering it is a dream. Mostly, I am questioning why I would just leave pairs there from previous “visits” to this version of my wife, and even so, how could they still be there during waking transitions? I would think that there would be some sort of “automatic cleanup” of dream settings before the next “visit” - even so, I do not recall this exact setting or overall layout from any prior dream - and I know they are mine. I am thinking about taking them “back” (to our real-life home) but then realize that idea is preposterous as well. This shakes me out of my dream to where I cannot find my real pants near the bed, either, but decide to leave it.

Later, when I am almost fully awake out of one scenario, I clearly smell chocolate-chip cookies baking. The scent is so strong and pleasing that I am somewhat puzzled that Zsuzsanna is lying in bed again. She will probably take them out of the oven later. I continue to enjoy the smell, and it is only several minutes later that I realize I am in some sort of hypnopompic carryover and that the smell is not even there. In fact, there is no scent of any kind that I notice after full wakefulness. Hypnopompic smells are fairly rare for me, but this was so pleasant, it colored my mood in a more cheerful sense.

Another scene takes me back to Stadcor Street in Brisbane. I decide to try to talk to an unseen character (to see if someone just randomly appears - something I did a lot in dreams in my late teenage years - even in fully dark settings or abstract spaces) and a young female takes notice, but appears almost out of view on my right (I have to lean out the fictionally-structured window just a bit to see her). The scene is a bit ambiguous as I was sure there was a character meant to be on my left, but this one appears so I talk to her and even tell her that I was trying to talk to someone on my left which makes me feel a bit silly. She is talking from behind a shorter wooden fence about chest-high (and is implied to be my fictional neighbor it seems) and I remain looking out from the window in the main bedroom at the back of the house. Not much ensues; she just seems to wonder what I am doing to my dream regarding the setting and any potential theme or plot and seems helpful.

This scene eventually shifts to where I decide to try to read something, so I turn on my “dream television” to see what happens. I soon see a sequence of binary numbers on the bottom of an otherwise blank (dark) screen and I start to think, oh, how clever, someone (a dream character or perhaps “real” entity) is trying to talk to me in binary. I am somewhat wary of who or what would do this, so I study what I see with full lucidity so that I can perhaps translate it later if possible. The numbers are scrolling across the bottom and just turn out to be “10 10 10 10 10…” as I watch. However, they transform briefly into “01 01 01 01 01…” before fading (or rather, as they are rolling off to the left). I then see my first name with the last letter (“e”) missing. Soon, I see one instance of the number two in the sequences of ones and zeroes and then realize it is pointless - as that means it cannot be binary code. I then consider if it is supposed to be the capital letters “I” and “O” rather than one and zero, as I see something like IPIO at one point, which stands for “i’ll pass it on”. I lose interest in trying to make sense of this gibberish so shift my mind to an outdoor environmental setting.

Soon, I am flying (in a standing vertical position) over a highway with hardly any traffic. I see one car, which I change into a bicycle and back several times as I fly along saying, “I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming” - which I had already known hours before, but just feel like saying it, thinking that it might also accelerate my awareness (though it does not - and my critical thinking skills are still mostly absent). I quickly get bored watching the bicycle transforming to car and back and as such, causing the person (unknown male) riding and driving to zigzag all over the road in confusion. I am probably being a bit mean, so let it go.

Finally, the last scene takes me into my house (though which actually seems more like Barolin Street) where I notice someone has parked his car inside the house (completely impossible in real life of course, though I only see part of the back of it). In fact, he is trying to back out of the room he has parked in (due to me telling him to leave and get his car out of my house), but cannot get it through the doorway, it seems (and I do not consider in-dream that he could not have possibly gotten in that way in the first place). He gives up and goes out onto the porch and sits down and I follow him out, continuing to yell at him to get out (regardless of how much rent he had been paying). He looks annoyed and frustrated.

Wake up in a dream, lucid, I'm at a house with some people. One guy's brother is a soldier, and not very nice, he almost tries to kill me, but I have the powers of air and fire and he backs off. We all go to a dance, then sleep and wake up again, but in a different dream world.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

We had just arrived at our college, and our first day of classes would be held the next day. I remember walking through what looked like a small town inside the campus, with a giant jumbotron reminding us about our first day of classes that would take place the next day.

The scene shifted. I was now in what seemed like a large dorm building, but it was only one floor, and there could be three or four people to a room. The kitchen was in the middle of the whole dorm. We had our own bathrooms, though.

I shared an open dorm (it wasn't fully closed off with four walls) with J, L, and Sam. I remember we were all sitting on our beds, which were side by side and across from eachother, watching the little TV that was perched on the wall to the left. L was sitting on my bed, which was the closest to the TV. Somehow, I kept hitting her in the face with my elbow or my hand. She quietly just shrugged it off. I felt really bad, so I didn't move around or talk much anymore.

Time went forward.

I had just woken up in my bed and looked at the clock, it was about 6 AM. Everyone was starting to stir around me. I thought I had better get up, because classes were going to start soon.

But my heart sank. I didn't have a map or anything, and I didn't even have my class schedule printed out.

Sam was awake. I asked her if she had a map. She told me she didn't either. I then remembered my dad saying something about using your GPS for the campus. I assumed that could work, so I didn't worry about it further. However, I was still upset about my class schedule.

People were moving about now, taking showers, getting dressed.

I got out of my bed, kneeled on the floor by my bed, and used my bed as a desk for my laptop. I opened my laptop, and was about to look for my class schedule.

Suddenly, I fell asleep on my closed laptop.

I woke up later. Apparently some people had fallen asleep again, too. All was quiet. It was still a little dark outside. I rubbed my face and wished I hadn't fallen asleep on the laptop because I might have drooled on it or something. Picking it up, however, I noticed the laptop had bent at an angle almost as easily as a piece of cardboard.

I thought this was odd. Just in case, I RCed just to make sure. I plugged my nose and breathed in, and sure enough, I was dreaming! However, I never really believe the nose plug RC sometimes because the result of it feels so weird, so I did it a second time. Yep, I was dreaming!

A thought hit me. 'Oh no, but don't I have class in a couple of hours? Maybe I'll make this quick and get my goals done...' (So I thought that I fell asleep and had a lucid dream there, and that I wasn't actually just dreaming the whole time)

I got up from the floor. As soon as I did, my right sock fell off. I remembered feeling it, but I thought I would just keep walking with it off. The sensation felt odd, but it didn't bother me too much.

I started to fast walk down our hallway. I reached an open doorway on my left that looked like it led into an empty room, and I tried to go through. But as soon as I did, a powerful force or wind that seemed to be eminating from that room knocked me back and I hit the wall behind me. It didn't hurt, but it stunned me. I decided I wouldn't go that way.

I went back up through where I came, and turned right into a larger hallway that opened up into the kitchen. It was dark, and I was worried about seeing someone in the shadows. But I did, like I was expecting, but it didn't scare me. I saw Sim sitting on one of the kitchen counters, and E was sitting at an island chair.

I thought about my goal of eating a chocolate bar (I heard that everything tastes a lot better sometimes in dreams).

"Sim," I asked. "Do we have any chocolate bars in here?"

To my surprise, she said, "No, I don't think so, I haven't seen any."

I thought about what I should do. 'I'll just look in random cabinets, I'm bound to find something then.' I went over to the sink that was in the middle of the kitchen and bent down. I moved over to the right, and opened the cabinet on my right, with the intent of finding a chocolate bar. All I saw were toppings to put on cookies, like peanut butter M&M's, shredded peanuts, pecans, and the like, but no pure chocolate.

So I gave up on that idea. (I'm surprised, I should have asked her again, or tried to summon one again) I went to the outskirts of the kitchen. I then yelled, "Boyyys!" (I have no idea where that came from) I then heard a chorus of deep hey's coming from the opposite side of the house.

I went back to the room that ejected me earlier. Before I went in, I imagined that I could get through it, and sure enough, I did without any problems. The room was small with a small window showing light outside now. To my left looked like the front door. I opened the door and peered outside. Immediately, the song "You Ain't Nuthin' but a Hound Dog" by Elvis filled my ears. I walked out onto the very small front porch. In front of me was a hedge that led out to the main road. I could see some people walking past our dorm house.

I was second guessing if I really was dreaming right here. If I wasn't, I didn't want to make a fool of myself by going outside and running around in my pajamas. So I did the nose plug RC again, and yep, still dreaming! The music got a bit louder, and I began to walk to the beat out into the road. I was so overcome with emotion that I began to practically dance in the road. There were little crowds of people that were scattered around the place. I really wanted to fly. I ran and jumped but nothing happened, my feet pounded the pavement as I landed back onto the ground, as if in real life.

Then, my alarm rang.

I had multiple OBEs tonight... I counted till fifth one, then I stopped, as I found it stupid One OBE took between 5 to 20 minutes.
I went to my bed at about midnight. I started as usually with my autogenic training routine (weight and warmth). In unusually short time of exercise I started to feel my second body...

I forcibly separated myself from physical body and got up. I felt something like ropes, or bonds to my astral body's legs, hands and body trying to hold me back to my physical body... and I forcibly ripped that bonds... and I was free at once. I observed my surroundings for a while. Nothing looked out of ordinary. The room was dark, but I saw in that darkness well enough. I had some clothes on me... like shroud dress... white one. I stripped it down. It felt like obstacle... I was much better of naked, it felt better... Then I got back to my bed and I started to inspect my physical body. It was naked like in real world(I don't like clothes when I go sleep) and I could see every detail of skin of my physical body... I tried whether I will feel the touch of astral body on physical one (I feel that more often than not), but I didn't. I tried some pretty extreme things that could be painful even during OBE, but I didn't feel anything. Maybe this separation was better than many others... Then I went to observe my wife and children. They all were sleeping peacefully. I went downstairs to ground floor and after some time of observation I lost connection and was back in my body. I was still aware of second body! Therefore I continued:

I separated from my body and again I was clothed... for some reason I didn't like it and I stripped down again. Then I went out of my house through closest wall. I didn't feel the wall at all. It was dark outside, but street lights were shining. I got an idea to test my concentration through astral sex. Therefore I went through houses down the street trying to find suitable object to this experiment. Everybody slept. But that was not problem for me. The problem was, that even attractive looking women didn't feel attractive for me at all. Not in sexual way in any case. After I checked maybe 15 women, I let it be. It was such state of mind... I wanted only to drift around and observe things...

I separated from my body and I was on our local bus station 0.75 km from my house... Street lights were shining brightly. It was nice, quiet night. I felt the pull to my house, so I walked. After maybe 30m of walk I was on the crossroad and all lights went out. It was totally black darkness. I started to hear whispers and quiet voices... I felt beings around myself... I felt them with my mind, but not with astral body (no touches). Some beings were felt like dangerous ones. Others were indifferent. I felt no worries. I took my key pouch out from my trousers and tried to activate small light torch I have on it. Of course similarly to many OBEs, the technology was not functioning. How typical. Then... Why I have my clothes again? Get rid of them After I was naked again, I concentrated on my inner energy and produced strong aura lighting. My aura was today silvery white, sparkling. I saw something like twist of black bodies... All that beings were trying to clear area of my aura as fast as possible. I contemplated that a little, but then I started to walk home. I walked and observed my surroundings for some time till I lost connection and found myself back in my body.

I separated again. I'm in dark void. I hear again whispers from darkness. I generated silvery aura... extremely strongly lighted sphere of about 10m in diameter around myself. I got to rid of my clothes again . When my light sphere expanded, I saw again black bodies... so I wanted to observe them closely. I tried to fly forward, to the voices... But I didn't see anything more. Then I tried to deform my aura sphere to cylinder- in one direction... for about 30-40 meters... But it didn't help. I didn't see anything in the darkness. But I heard the voices... I flew in the darkness... Did I fly for real? I don't know, I felt it. But I didn't have any reference point. Then I saw some white light sphere flying across of my flight path... I was mildly surprised and wanted to follow that anomaly, but it went away and got lost in the darkness. After a while I saw second light sphere, this one was yellowish white... It flew nearly against myself. I adjusted my course a little and we met. Hmmm... I met something- the sphere was hollow and nobody was inside....

And again I separated from my body... This time I was in brightly lighted room of some sorts. It looked like doctor's office. I was naked. There was an attractive blond woman in white coat. She told me, that we are going to test my body stability (e.g. balance)... I had to rotate. I did so. I stood on one heel and made an impulse to rotate by my other foot. One impulse... I started to rotate on my heel at about one rotation in 3 seconds. I rotated... and that woman observed me and wrote something down into her record book. It was strange As I rotated, my body started precession movement similar the flywheel would do. The angle was going to be extreme but it wasn't like I was going to fall down Nicely looking woman physician wrote down something more and then told me, that it is enough... I didn't obey... I liked that rotation. I was losing perception of room which was slowly substituted by deep blackness of the universe filled by stars and majestic planetary clouds... I observed everything... It was very nice view. I rotated minutes till I lost connection again...

I felt that my second body is still free so why not to continue? I separated again. I was... somewhere... It was like universe... but I knew I was billions of light years away from my physical body... Further, than observable universe, but still within universe. It was black, but I saw whole galaxies float nearby... Some spiral, some elliptic... even spherical ones... And I saw also gigantic black holes, some larger than galaxies. I felt the space... I felt the matter... I felt the gravity... I didn't have body, I was point of consciousness. I was not affected by anything. I flew very fast. Object were moving as I flew... I heard whispers from the darkness which was surrounding me, but I didn't care. I observed celestial bodies... As I flew, I flew also through some galaxies and black holes. I saw black holes like total blackness only the sides were dimly lighted by pale light. I didn't feel a thing as I flew through objects. The flight through black hole looked like a black sphere was expanding in front of me, then short blackness and then I was out of it on the other side. I flew forward further and further, observing my surrounding... till I lost connection...

I had a few separation from which I remember only peace and void. Quietness... Existence.

My last separation time . This was short one, maybe 5 or so subjective minutes long. I separated into my bedroom. I was naked. My naked physical body was still looking naked and dead to me. There was darkness, but I saw good enough everything in my surrounding. I observed a little... my mind felt tired but was strongly concentrated on here and now like whole time. Discipline is necessary. For some reason I looked on my clocks and I saw, that it was about 2:15h... I got curious: what time is it in real world? I went back to my body and it was about 2:18h- close enough I didn't manage further separations and I dropped asleep fast.

Observations:
I had maybe 9 to 10 separation... it is quite a lot, but I had such experiences in my younger times often.
Forcible separation doesn't feel bad at all. It is only... It is not as naturally flowing. But it can take a lot of time to go to state where I don't feel that bonds. Time in which I can fall asleep.
Strange how I was refusing clothes... This would be first time I actively sought to not have them. Well I knew it was not physical world. Why do I have to be clothed?
I don't try sex too often while in LD or OBE. It doesn't come into my mind often and even less often I want to risk the shortening of experience. But I had nice OBE last week, and I had today my first... so, why not? It is good measure of my concentration level. I don't consider this to be rape!!! Firstly; I don't use force to force it and secondly; if there would be an objection to this action, I would stop. It is my policy to be civil to dream and astral(and other) characters. Thirdly in that state of mind one feels to be part of something larger. It would be like to try to harm myself. I'm adding this, because my wife has this view on this particular action.
Aura was spectacular. I had quite a control of it. Using aura as lighting is nice Silvery aura today... something new. Most often I have blue violet aura.
Night projection leads for some reason to experience in night astral world... At least by me. I'm curious... Does somebody have similar experience?
How could be somebody scared of walking out of body is beyond of me...
Projecting into space is nice. That one is quite seldom for me.
Projecting into void was similar to meditation, but not equal. The state of mind is much more quiet and peaceful meditation...
As you see I don't have control as to where I'm projecting. I don't mind. Of course it would be nice to do targeted projection, but I don't know how. Destabilisation of OBE is the last thing I want.