memorable

9.16.14

Dream happend on 9.15.14, while sleeping over at friends house.

DR: I'm walking around a place that looks like my mom's place. Her kitchen is there for sure, only longer. Adjacent hallway is similar, but everything is bigger.

So as I'm walking throught the place, I sence evil presense. I feel wind around me, but only I feel it. My unbuttoned shirt is filling up with air and flapping in the wind. It's not a good wind. It's the presense.

There is one person there and suddenly I see the look of horror on her? face and she? is backing away from me. I'm like "wth"? I walk to the mirror and I see myself looking exactly as I do IWL. I'm kinda scared to look, expecting devil horns to show on my head. But as i look, there are no horns. I see my head and torso and I'm wearing my red shirt. But my face starts to very slowly morph into one that looks more male. I remember thinking "oh, so devil is male". I was starting to get scared and woke up.

Date: 25 Aug

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Cannot quite recall the exact beginning but remember willing the scene to appear as I was falling alseep. There were a number of coming into shape items and I told myself that my subcon is at this point trying to make something out of them so concentrate. There were a number of scenes.

I don't recall what happened when I finally entered the dream but there was some active dream scenario going on.

After looking around expectedly and not seeing a pyramid to enter, I notice people getting on a bus and wonder whether to give it a try. It doesn't strike me as possible to manipulate the dream as much as to be inside the bus while actually going somewhere and really get there but I give it a try. It's getting rather full, but I find a free seat and sit there. To be certain this tour bus is going in the right direction, I shout and make them all repeat "We are going to the Pyramid of Giza". Here I have thoughts about whether my throat is moving (DV thread) as I feel physical pressure while shouting.

Don't recall getting off the bus and in the next scene I'm already inside this place with an atmosphere of an excavation dig. It looks as if I've made it past the pyramid's entrance and am now in how I in the dream more or less imagine its interior. It has the feel and look of a number of previous dreams about sightseeing in Egypt. Excited, I decide to explore the ancient Egyptian structure. There are two directions to go and after some maneuvering I orient myself towards what feels like the center.

It is now quite lively, full of crowds of people getting in and coming out. While this should be the interior of the pyramid and be very spacey in my dreaming mind, it still feels to me as if I'm taking forever to walk towards the official "lobby". It's like a tourist attraction where you first have to go to the lobby/cashier and then enter a separate part with the things to see. On my way to the center, I pass by a girl with a pink feather on her head and my hand by mistake gets into her hair. As a result the feather falls from her head and then I take it. How weird, I think to myself, what my hand did. The feather is beautiful and as realistic as it gets, I'm very fascinated by the looks of it and the feel of the dream in general.

As I continue on my way, the little girl catches up with me and starts whining about her feather. I tell her that I didn't mean to take it on purpose rather it just happened as an accident and give it back. She calms down continues towards the exit, while I continue my walk toward the center in this carpet covered corridor. I finally reach the center and what lies beyond. There is a large number of exhibition items on each side of the walls. At this point they are all Egyptian, way too many to be able to recall, but I remember a statue of Anubis in dark stone with decorations in green and gold, maybe a round necklace with green stone. I start thinking about how this place now almost completely resembles a museum and continue my walk, looking at the fancy items.

The dream ends at some point. I stay still but it does take a bit longer.

DEILD: As I fall asleep, I unconsciously grab onto the scene and make it so that the same place comes back. The ancient stuff is still around. There were also large columns at some point but I vaguely recall these. Just found it a bit weird to be back, as I wasn't too focused consciously on that. I continue my tour in this pyramid museum, going from room to room and looking at lots of exhibition items. This time they are more from classic and medieval ages and I see a room full of different sizes and styles of angel statues. They all look really cute and I wonder why do they have so many angel statues here.

I continue down the corridors looking at items but soon hear angry shouts as if some sort of riot is taking place. I think about inception. They surely won't catch up with me, but despite my weak efforts to ignore them, the trouble makers are coming closer. Now I have a typical dream problem, I really want to leave this place but am trapped in an endless labyrinth of corridors and doors. There is a really weird looking one having a blurred net in front but I as I approach the net kind of disappears. I remind myself to think about outside, windows and things like that. I go through the door and finally in a room with a glass door leading to the outside. It looks locked but I open it just like that.

A DC comes and starts talking about something, kind of trying to hijack the dream with their own scenario while I find myself staring at a pot full of poached eggs. For a moment I become distracted but then come to my senses again. There is a cool looking tower nearby and I head in its direction.

Worried that it's time to wake up, I end up having an FA where I press the snooze button and wild in dream. A brief ld moment in a grandma's place before I wake up for real.

I am standing in a tree-house. A boy with short, light brown hair stands across from me. He is looking up towards the heavens. I glance at him, then I look up. I look at him again: he is peaceful. His heart is radiating love, complete, unconditional love. He is thinking silently. We are both on DMT. An older, yet remarkably young, man walks in. He stands next to the boy - he is, perhaps, the boy's father or uncle. He is there to protect us. The tree house starts spinning, and there is a Kennywood sign in the distance. None of us are scared. It just is, and we are joyous. It spins and spins and spins.
Then I wake up, and the boy is gone. His father is gone. I want to meet them. God, were they real? I ask. I don't get a clear answer. I get an answer, I'm just not sure whether or not that answer came from God or my subconsciousness. He's Aaron Dottle's roommate in heaven. The father? Or uncle? I don't know.
I am laying down, my head is on my pillow. I try to savor the memory of the dream. Put it into my memory, remember what he looked like. I don't know his name. I stop thinking about Aaron's roommate - who I will meet someday - and shut my eyelids.
I am sitting in a room with a fireplace. There are tables with chairs. Couches. We are sitting discussing the Bible. It's one of those Upper Room dreams, the ones that make me want to go back to Pittsburgh and have fellowship with the Upper Room. I love them dearly...Jenna, Mike, Deirdre. We are all sitting together talking. There is complete honesty. None of us are judging. We are thinking about God, and Mike, the pastor, is teaching. We listen calmly, joyously. I ask them, "Have you seen Damon?" He is my soul-mate that I lost sight of, lost my chances with, but I know that, even though he pretends to hate me, he loves me as deeply as I love him. I gave away his secret. I can't tell you what it is. I hear, "He always asks, 'Have you seen Cali?'" and that makes me happy. Then I look down at my Bible. I read the words on the page. Do not be decieved: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galations 6:7-10 I look up from my green leather Bible. We discuss. I think, 'I'll never give up on Damon.' Then I see Damon outside of the window. He is looking in and the window is open. I stand up and jump out the window and Damon starts running. I am running after him, hearing And I'll be by your side, wherever you fall in the dead of night, whenever you call and please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you. Suddenly the running is all there is: me and Damon, in heaven, running and running. We don't stop. Our feet silently touch the fresh green grass.
I open my eyes slowly. I'm back in my bed, and Damon is nowhere to be found. I remember hearing Tenth Avenue North. I want to be by Damon's side, I think. And I know that God is by Damon's side. I think, I hope Damon becomes Christian before he dies. I don't want him to go to Hell. I know he will get out and I will see him. I'll wait by his bed. I'll watch him sleep. And when he opens his eyelids, he'll finally stop dreaming. I'll stay awake. We'll stay up all night talking, as if we were communicating telepathically.
We were. I know it, because he stabbed me, and I woke up. He read my mind. He told me, 'If you're right, I'm happy.' And I know that someday, he will love God as much as I do. (He didn't stab me, but for a while I thought he did because I felt a sharp pain in my heart)
_____________________________
I was in a library with many floors. I was exploring the books. Then suddenly I was in a painting class. I was holding a paintbrush. I dipped it into skin color paint, and touched the brush to the blank page in front of me.
There have been many dreams of heaven swimming pools. In one of them, it was small and divided between lanes, and I had a vest on. Something felt wrong, and I asked, Where’s Jesus, because in the dream I thought I was in heaven but everything was so wrong. Then the dream changed. Someone found me and held my hand and walked with me to a different area. One that was peaceful and beautiful. And then the person lead me to the pool in a building. It was huge and the water was clear and there were lap lanes but not only lap lanes. There was a lifeguard and she was climbing up the chair where lifeguards sat. It made me realize that I wouldn’t drown; no one in heaven would ever let me drown. Then I awoke happy, happy that I changed my dream by asking for Jesus. It was sort of lucid dreaming.
_______________________

I let the nightmares go. I just let myself forget them. I am not that person that was dreaming. Night changes many thoughts, and it wasn’t real. So I can’t tell you what it was that made me think differently about God, but right now I love God, so that’s all that matters.

______________________


I joined a gym. They have free exercise classes. Am I awake? Am I dreaming? I don’t think so. From now on I plan to question my consciousness…ask myself if I’m awake. Then someday I’ll ask myself, am I awake? While I am sleeping. Maybe I’ll have more lucid dream.
Come back to reality, wake from your lucid dream. Sometimes I am just a dreamer. I go through life in a dreamlike way, but now I am awake. I am awake because I hear music and I’m not in the tunnel machine that I often go through while I’m sleeping and dreaming. There isn’t that nightmarish cliff that I saw when I was dreaming about wanting to buy donuts in Pittsburgh. There was a cliff and a railing and a road below the cliff, and I was scared out of my mind.
I dreamt I was loving Sara Leticia, but I don’t remember the dream, but the essence was that she had room for me in her life, and that she was letting me into her life with Stefan. Before that I had a dream that I was doing back handsprings, and it was so easy and simple. One day, like in my many gymnastics dreams, I will do backhandsprings and back tucks and they will be simple and easy. After thousands of years of training, I will do gymnastics like the girl I wish I was, the girl I wish I grew up as.
Because I didn’t become that girl (yet), I became the girl that loves violin and writing. Sometimes I feel absolutely joyous listening to myself playing violin. Sometimes I feel bored playing violin, not loving the sound I’m making, so I put my violin away, and I go someplace quiet to sit and think. Later I pick up the violin again and try to make it sing.
I had a dream where I was in heaven and running. There was a staircase that went down millions of feet and then a lovely green hill. Wherever I was I just kept running. Then I found some people and we were looking at rocks and gently putting them in the water. I found a red and black rock that looked like a beating heart. Someone said, "Look for a Jesus colored rock." I said, the rock I found is red and that's the color of the blood He shed to save us. Earlier in the dream I was sharing clothing that a boy was wearing, we swapped clothing. When I woke up it was like there was a rock laying on top of my chest, I couldn't move and it was scary. The lesson I learned: just keep running, just keep holding on, because there will be God's light somewhere in the distance, and you will find it, you will dream it, you will hold onto God's love. Just keep running through the rocky terrain and you will find a beautiful garden.

- I was watching a League of Legends match, but instead of the usual map, it was a piece of a world map showing land a lot of ocean. Weird.
- We were going on a field trip with my college classmates. The research site was really damp and a storm was on the way so we took refuge in town. After doing some shopping and get something to eat we found an abandoned house with a sealed door. We use the rails nearby to send a train flying through the door (yeah).
Inside it looks like a normal house but we know it's the hideout of a dangerous band of criminals. After some action we manage to escape.
- I'm riding my bike on my way home. It is nightime, apparently past midnight. I take a turn into a deserted street and i'm able to look at the sky. There were 4 moons! I realised that was strange (yay for awareness practice!) but i got distracted by the dream and continued my way. After a while it starts to get clear, and a bunch of drunk people are following the same path as me. I arrive at a station, i meet a lot of people i don't see anymore, and i even fight a (really dumb) thief.

These dreams were really vivid and long, so i'm happy my recall got better and this was the second time i remember noticing something strange while non-lucid. Lucid dreaming i'm almost there!

Dream - Lucid

This dream is an absolute jumbled mess, but I'll try to order it the best that I can.

I was sitting on the couch in our living room. I had taken my medicine already and was struggling to keep my eyes open. I was messing with something on my phone, and apparently, I fell asleep while doing so. I then was dreaming (within the dream) about what looked like a SimCity view of, well, a city. It was a place I wanted us to move to, and moving was as simple as clicking a button. I remember placing buildings or something.

I then woke up in the first dream. I had fallen asleep on the couch. I heard my husband's voice from the other room calling me.
"You spend too much time on the internet," he said.
I mean, he's absolutely right, but I wonder what would prompt him to say that? I then asked
"Did I post a status in my sleep?"
"Yes," he said.
I had been fearing that I had done that. I "remembered" posting a status in my dream about the move. I then looked at my phone on what was supposed to be Facebook, but it didn't really resemble it at all. I had posted a status That said something like this:

Hey! We decided to move to Nokia, Oregon! ________________________________
__________________________________________________ __________________
__________________________________________________ __________________

The lines are text that I can't recall at all.

Holy crap! I posted a status in my sleep. I had a lot of comments on it that appeared like old message board responses (hard to explain what I mean...I guess kind of like how Reddit is set up). All the text was colored and the background was a dark color. I want to say the text was bright orange. I knew that didn't look right for Facebook even in the dream. I thought maybe the site just wasn't loading properly on my phone. I decided to get on the computer, which was located in the opposite corner of the room than it is IWL. I kept trying to get on Facebook, but I kept getting distracted and not doing it. I think I talked to Dallas a little, which was one of the distractions. I did eventually get on there, but it looked the same as it had on my phone. I also noticed that I had initially been posting a status saying

I just found Snake on my phone! (link with the name of the game here; it was a Snake-like game that started with a T)

but I had fallen asleep while doing so. There was also a string of one word statuses, some that were just text, one I remember saying "Sceeea" or something like that. At the end of the string was the long status about moving to Nokia, Oregon. I was so embarrassed, but I guess everyone else on Facebook found it funny judging by some of the comments (can't recall exactly what the comments said).

Then, my daughter was there in the living room, standing by the door (I don't have any kids IWL). She was tall, skinny, and had very tan skin and medium length black hair. She had some acne on her face and had black, bushy eyebrows. She looked to be about 11 or 12 years old. I knew she was my daughter and that she'd been living with us, but I couldn't remember anything about her. I had been a terrible parent. I wasn't even sure who her biological father was. Judging by her tan skin, dark hair, and acne, it was either A or E.

I decided it was time to start making an effort to know my daughter, and to really parent her and be there for her. She was about to go to school, but she was then over by a chair where the computer desk is IWL. She had her backpack, and took out a 12-count of cream cheese-iced cupcakes, ones that we sell at the bakery. Many of them had toppled over. I also noticed that there were two jumbo cupcakes from the bakery that were on the floor, toppled over. It must be her birthday, and she was going to bring cupcakes to school. I asked her
"Do you want me to get you some more?"
I don't remember if she answered me or not, but I was going to do it anyway. I had had no idea that her birthday was that day, but now I knew. I also had no idea what school she went to, and was afraid to ask. She pulled out a small, light muted green purse, and it had something written on it. I was hoping that it was the name of her school so I wouldn't have to ask, but it was just the brand of the purse, "Paulina". Well shit.

She was then standing next to me, and I noticed that she was actually a bit taller than me (not hard to do).

She was then gone, and I was "remembering" her as a baby, and how I wasn't active with her even then. I also "remembered" that my body made an awesome comeback from the pregnancy; I hadn't even looked like I had been pregnant. I then "remembered" miscarrying another pregnancy late in the pregnancy. I was laying in a hospital bed thinking I was in labor. I had a belly and everything. They had me doped up on pain medication, and told me that I lost the baby. I was so numb from the meds though, I didn't feel any emotion when they told me. I was trying to remember any pains I had had before the medicine, but I couldn't. I also remembered telling people, my husband included, that I didn't have any children, but I had just not remembered my daughter. I hadn't been trying to lie, I had just forgotten.

~

I have had many dreams about having a daughter whom I had forgotten about, the earliest one I remember being in 2011 or so. They are in this DJ, but I don't really want to search for them right now. I even had a meditation a month or so ago where I heard this voice say
"I'm afraid my child will come home."
I don't quite no what to make of it yet. I'm starting to get some ideas though.

Also, I know I had a dream before this one, but I can't recall it anymore. I could in the middle of the night, but then I had this dream.

How to express this lands me in a curious peculiarity that I've never come across before and wonder if I ever shall again. Nevertheless, This may cost you everything but save you your life if you know what I'm talking about.

In illusion everything goes to waste. There's no point to it and it's a disease before it is born and it certainly is a disease long after it dies. If you're wondering what this has to do with anything, I had to give a certain introit.

SO! The dream. Yes, Here:

I dreamed someone made a fan-fiction of MLP:FIM and shortly prior to that, I was going through teleportation holes. At one point someone took Opie (from The Andy Griffith Show) through the transportation hole and then the hole vanished, then was put back an instant later. Yet, the guy on the other end of the hole said he was trying to get in contact with me, Whoever I was, for 12 hours! Then I went through this hole through time and space.

LATER, The fan-fiction started. So I looked around and bombs were about to fall! I saw a building which was a refrigerator that I climbed into, Noting that whoever packed the food didn't have that in an underground shelter. I wondered "Where will I go?" and later saw a list of numbers going into the millions of what it would cost to get out of this hell-hole; Everything. Relationships are included in that!

I enjoy the uncertain-to-the-blind yet certain-to-the-initiated way of actual life. I'm sorry.

This is actually a dream I had quite a while ago, I just have been too lazy to record it here. I will also be recording other lucids I've had after this and I will try to get my DJ back up to date. So this is my first dream since the start of my LD journey. I have tried to LD before but wasn't nearly as serious or motivated about it as I am now so I am not counting the few LD's I had back then. And that would only add like maybe 2 or 3 LDs to the count.

Awake
Non-Lucid
Lucid

Field of Darkness

(I can't remember what I did before bed so I guess I won't record that)

I am in a castle corridor, there are a few torches mounted on the walls but there is very little light. I turn a corner to the right and notice that it opens up into a very large field, there is a small hill out in the distance so I can't see beyond that. It is pitch black outside. I go over to the wall on the right side and notice something written in red letters. (I think that it said something like "I'm dreaming" but I'm not certain) All of a sudden I realize that I'm dreaming! I walk outside and look to my left. I can't see anything, its like a wall of blackness is there. I start thinking about scary monsters coming out of there and fear grips me. I immediately turn my thoughts to something else, knowing that those thoughts will probably cause monsters to appear. I start hearing a noise from the darkness so I walk away from it hoping that it won't attack me. (I totally forgot to stabilize which ultimately made me lose stability and wake up in the end) I realize I need it to be light outside so I turn back to the castle and imagine the sun rise high in the air. When nothing happens, I close my eyes and imagine it. When I open them, It isn't as light as I'd hoped but it was dawn, and I could see the sun rising behind the tiny hill in the distance. Then the dream fades to black and I notice that I'm awake. I try to continue to imagine the dream, to hold onto it, but in the end I lost. My eyes opened and I woke up. I was a little disappointed, but mostly happy that I had my first LD!

From this point on, my first goal on my LD list is to learn how to fly. It was on my list before this dream, but I had for some reason forgotten to do it. (I will be writing out my other LDs to date later today or maybe tomorrow)

A woman comes to my desk to inform me that the manager would like to see me.
I get up immediately and begin the long walk to the manager's office.
I pass by thousands of cubicles, all looking perfectly identical to one another.
The room is huge. But it's all just cubicles, sitting on a bright white and spotless white floor,
which slightly reflects what is above it.

Everyone I pass is wearing the exact same grey suit with white shirt combo.
Everyone is in shape, everyone has the same hairstyle, the same hair color, even the same eye color.
No color can be found in here. None whatsoever. Regardless of where you look, it's all white or grey.
There are no distractions. No family photos, no items on any desk besides a monitor, mouse and keyboard.
Everyone is working at maximum efficiency.

Eventually I get to the managers office. A man is leaving the office right as I arrive.
This confirms that I have been walking at precisely the right pace.
I enter the office.

"There has been a problem with your daily psych eval this morning."
"You are to be at the primary psych facilities in 12 minutes for a more in-depth test."
"Yes."

During the exchange, the manager has not even glanced at me once.
I leave the office, and begin the even longer walk to the psychiatric facilities.
As I'm walking past all the cubicles again, I notice a woman, who on closer inspection appears
to be adjusting one of her contact lenses.
As she gently pokes the grey lens, it moves just enough to reveal that she is hiding beautiful green eyes behind them.

And this is why my psych test isn't clean. It's because I notice these things.
It's because I can still occasionally feel emotions.
You're not supposed to. That's how the system works.
It's easy to achieve complete obedience and efficiency without emotions.

I arrive at the office for advanced psychiatric evaluation.
There is only one such office for the entire facility.
Tens of thousands of people, yet I'm the only one here.
I'm the only one who failed the daily eval.
I enter the office. It is very small.
It just houses a simple chair and a robot. (who looks suspiciously similar to glados)


The robot begins to scan me. I try to keep my mind clear of any thoughts.
But I know that this isn't going to help. I'm going to fail this eval. It is inevitable.
In order to disable all emotions completely, the cocktail of drugs we receive daily isn't enough.
Abstinence from all stimuli is also required.
Which is why there are no colors, no music, no socializing, no hobbies...

But the system isn't perfect... because I have seen colors. I have heard music.
I have done so in my dreams. My lucid dreams.
And although it is said that nobody has dreams anymore due to the drugs, I still do.
I think it is because I am a lucid dreamer. Nothing can take my dreams from me.

"Your evaluation is now complete. Return to work."
"Yes."

I leave the room, initially thinking that I might have tricked to robot.
No. It can't be. Someone is probably going to intercept me on the way back.
This is it then. I suppose it is over for me.
I don't really feel any emotional reaction to these thoughts at all.
Perhaps it is the drugs, or maybe I just don't care to live this life any longer.
A woman stops me.

"Excuse me?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you here?"

I got lost in thoughts...
Oh shit. I didn't return to the programming facilities!
I walked deeper into the psych facilities by accident.
This is really not supposed to happen. I can't be here.
And it is so easy to notice that I'm out of place here because they wear different uniforms.

"What is this?"

She points to a device attached to my belt...
It is an old MD player attached to it.

Not only am I in possession of a musical device. It is also partially red!
I get a bit of a mirror's edge vibe from it. The forbidden color red, the bright rooms...
The woman looks very uncomfortable and worried.

What now? Do I wait for them to come and take me? Do I run?
No, I can't possibly run. We are all dependant on the drug.
If I stop taking it, the withdrawal effects will kill me.

But then it hits me. I'm deep inside the psychiatric facilities.
This is where they make the drug. It's in the room right in front of me.
If I had enough of it, could I slowly decrease my dosage over time?
But that would mean walking into the laboratory, past a hundred scientists,
take the drug, then run, get out of the building, and survive out there alone?
I don't even know what the situation outside is.

But suddenly it becomes clear. I am not me. I am not Hyu.
Right now I am another person. And this persons plan is to escape today.
Why else would I have a red music player with me?
Why else would I have walked deep into the psychiatric facilities?

"Yes."

You're always supposed to answer yes, in order to acknowledge what you have been told.
I gently push the woman aside and enter the laboratory.
The scientists all look at me. It is so easy to see that I don't belong here at all.
But they are afraid because this is not part of their daily routine.
They just resume their work.
I walk up to the conveyor belt where the finished drug arrives, neatly packaged into futuristic syringes with 100 shots each.

"HALT!"

Ah, the cavalry has finally arrived. Took them long enough.
About a dozen man in full, black, army gear, armed with assault rifles enter the laboratory from the opposite side.
Aren't they overreacting a little here?

"SLOWLY STEP AWAY FROM THE CONVEYOR BELT!"

I wonder what the odds would be to get out of here alive if I ran.
They are still rather far away. I don't think they have a clean shot from all the way over there.
But I don't think I could make it.
My mind is too clouded by the drugs.
I don't think I could improvise, heck I can't even remember how to run.

Oh! Of course! That's what the music player is for! Emotional stimuli!
I inspect the player more closely and find some earphones attached to it.
I put them on slowly. They don't react to it.
I hit play.



Not at all what I was expecting. But it will do.
I pick up one of the syringes.
Nope? Still nothing?
I calmly begin to walk back into the direction I came from.
They keep yelling at me to stop.
I increase the volume of my music. Problem solved.
I mean, what are they going to do? Shoot me?

Someone attempts to block my passage through the door leading back out of the laboratory.
I try to push him aside, but he won't let me...
I need to get out now, so I throw a punch in his general direction.
I end up hitting them in the nose. There's blood. Lots of it.
This time I manage to push him aside since he's in shock.

Holy shit! I just punched someone in the face!
The guards accelerate their pace. Time to run.
If I run continuously in the same direction, I'm bound to find an exit right?
I mean, how big can this building possibly be?
On the first corner I get rid of my shoes, because they slide way too easily on the polished floor.
My jacket and shirt quickly follow because they are horribly uncomfortable.
I feel like the guards are slowly catching up, but fortunately they're not using their weapons.

After a few minutes of running I feel extremely exhausted.
I am fairly certain that I have reached the end of the building now, but there is no door.
I run off to the left, alongside the outer wall.
There has to be an exit here somewhere... I hope.

Eventually I encounter some curtains and push through.
The building looks much more normal here. No shiny white floors anymore.

I spot a green fire escape sign. Colors! I suppose people are not supposed to come this far.
Finally a door that looks like it leads outside. Don't be closed...

I push it open. Fresh air. The sun.

A spot a ladder that leads down to the ground.
I'll have to climb over some railing to get to it.
But the guards catch up with me before I can do so.

"STOP RIGHT NOW!"

They could just drag me back inside now.
There's no longer a need for weapons in order to stop me.
But I know how to deal with this.
All I have to do is to point up.
I do this until everyone is looking up... at the blue sky.
That leaves them completely in shock and I climb down.

There's nothing really here, besides that ridiculously large building I was just in.
No sign of anybody else.
I just pick a direction at random and walk.
Nobody is going to come after me now.
I do realize that I'm most likely not going to make it.
I don't really have any survival skills.
But I don't mind, because right now I am more alive than anyone in there will ever be.

Trapped in a small gray chamber, about the size of an average living room, but made entirely of stone and metal. I look up and see that this room has no ceiling, but instead a giant shaft, hundreds of feet tall with an opening to the sky, presumably to let a little bit of light in, which it does. There is a wide passageway down some rubble to a dead end room about the same size of what I'm in, and another hallway on the opposite side. I look down that hallway to see if I can get out, but my view is blocked by a man in full medieval plate armor, carrying a medium length sword with a 3 inch wide blade. He roars at me, and charges. Terrified, I run the opposite direction, and am cornered in the dead end room. I face the man, just as he rams the sword through my chest. Leaving it in me for a few moments, he pulls it out, and I crumple to the ground. All I can see are his steel boots as he stands above me, watching me writhe in pain before I die.

Having died, I appear again in the same chamber. I look for how to get out, and see the swordsman again. Seems kind of familiar. I feel like he is hostile as he again starts to charge in my direction, so I run again. Cornered, I try to dodge his sword strikes, get a major cut in my shoulder, then am stabbed through my gut. It feels like being really sick with food poisoning, but combined with a lot of burning. I fold over forward and he cuts my head off.

Re-appearing in the same chamber as before, I wonder if I can get out this time. But quickly the swordsman appears again and chases me into the dead end. This time I attack him, but have no weapons other than my fists. I dodge his strike, and punch him in the metal face shield, breaking my fist on his helmet. Ignoring the pain, I punch him more, but he doesn't seem to be phased at all by this as he slashes me in the side. I go to block his second strike with my forearm, but his swing cuts clear through my arm, decapitating me.

Having just died, I find myself in the same room as before, but this time I remember the previous encounters and ready myself. I conclude that he will kill me no matter what I try, and there is no escape. He has been coming from a dead end hallway somehow, so there is no where to go. I think about how he's probably done nice things in the past, and bring to mind feelings of warmth and closeness to him, like he is my best friend from all time. I even wish for him and everyone to be happy. A blissful tingling feeling starts at the base of my spine, then rises to the top of my head, then back down, and out to my arms. It feels amazing, but I focus more on loving this swordsman than getting distracted by this feeling.

The swordsman approaches again, but this time I do not run. I stand and face him. I can't help but smile, happy to see him. He kneels down, lowers his sword, and rams it through my foot, the long way, all the way through, splitting my toes in half, cutting through the bone, and going all the way out the heel end of my foot. I am briefly distracted by the searing pain as I fall to the floor in front of him. Remembering my love from before, the pain disappears, but he quickly withdraws the sword and slays me once again. This time I wake up.

There are no cars on the road. In fact, it seems to be completely abandoned. A little ways ahead, I see a silver rainbow starting in a cloud, and ending right on the road, but with a more slide type shape to it, starting out shallow, steepening, then ending with a shallow slope. I approach it and watch a group of clouds peacefully drift up above. I teleport to one of the clouds that is about as big as me, and float in it for a little bit. Then I use it as a sort of raft, and ride it down the silver rainbow like a water slide. Some condensation from the cloud and the rainbow gets my face a little moist, and it feels rather cool, but the rush of air blowing past me as I slide down dries it just as fast as it gets me wet. I do this a few times, choosing different clouds for each go, just softly going for rides. At the bottom, the clouds float me back up to the top automatically.

Wandering around a busy party at someone's house, my friend and I sit down at a table. Someone brings us both a beer. After just half of it, I feel pretty tipsy and get up to walk around. Upstairs, I find the bathroom, but instead of a toilet, there is a large pond, with urine instead of water, and two people on hover crafts racing around a small island in the center. I relieve myself, and do my best not to pee on the hovercraft racers, even though they nearly splash me with urine as they zoom past.

I go back downstairs and see a strange looking animal outside. It has the body of a vicious wolf, but the legs of a gazelle, and it doesn't know how to use the legs very well. It is quite slow, and looks like it is going to fall over. I watch as it goes from house to house looking for scraps to eat. Touched by its predicament of not being able to find any food, I ask my friend if he has anything I can give it. He gives me a piece of his sandwich. I go outside, and walk right up to the wolf-gazelle (Gazzolf / Wolfzelle?) and poke it in the rear leg to get its attention. I practically shove the food in its face, then put the food down next to it before running back to safety. The Gazzolf beats me to the door, and begs for more food. Out of no where, I pull a massive pile of food out of nothing and give it to the Gazzolf who chows down happily.

Going back inside, I learn that my friend is the target of an assassination. I too am a potential target. He has taken off to safety, leaving me in his room where the assassins are approaching. I am given an optional task of securing files from his MP3 player by uploading them to a public server where everyone can access them, thereby protecting them from being destroyed. I just want to run, but feel that this would be very helpful. Even though I am unfamiliar with the software involved, I make it happen, focusing with all my might so I can get it done before the assassins get here. I notice a few suspicious characters that look like ninjas approaching from the fields outside, sneaking toward the house at a dead sprint.

Running out of the room, I sense someone is just about to break through the window. I close the door and run downstairs to find my friend armed with a gun, pointing it right at me. I tell him I'll help him, and not to shoot me. Walking around the corner, I see a ninja, so I telepathically tell my friend, "There's one around the corner to your right." As the ninja turns the corner, my friend pre-fires him, shooting him immediately. I check out another nearby room and see another ninja, so I again tell my friend telepathically, "Behind you, another one with two swords." My friend again turns and shoots him before the ninja gets a chance to surprise him.

September 14, 2014

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I don't remember much before becoming lucid... I was in a room with no doors and no windows, with walls so tall I almost couldn't see the top. There were drawers all over the walls... I realized this was odd, and looked down at my hands to find that I was dreaming!


I looked around, wondering whether to try to fly out of this room or not. I remembered the Patronus TOTM, and thought, I've been so excited to try this one...!! I looked around, smiling. First, I need a magic wand!

I went to one of the many drawers in the wall and put my hand on the handle, thinking about my need for a magic wand, and that there was probably one in this drawer. I opened it slowly, and pulled out a blue and purple vibrating dildo.

I was laughing so hard I completely lost all control and woke up.

I am a small duck dressed in a trench coat and sunglasses. I am a bounty hunter, and am after some guys hanging out inside a night club. It is daytime outside My awareness is positioned outside of my body. I enter the club, and exit carrying some stuff I stole from them. I then get into the car I own in WL, where my awareness now enters my body. I am trying to back up, when one of the thugs moves his car to box me in. I turn the wheel hard, ride up and over the car beside me (not possible at all in WL) and in the process, tear the head off of a thug who was trying to climb in through the back window.

I become lucid, as this is ridiculous and could never happen in real life. I continue driving my car down the street. I am now driving down some hallways (almost like I am in the back of a kitchen or something) and I realize the car is gone. I think to myself, Oh, I'm running now but then have a flash of insight--I'm not doing anything--I'm lying in bed. I also realize I have no body and really haven't had one for quite some time. Furthermore, as I am dreaming, there is really no reason to get a body anyway.

At this point, I decide to test my bodiless-ness and pass through a set of push doors. I bang my forehead against the door, and then just raise my hand and open it! I remember my discussion with dutchraptor and Sensei about pain in dreams, and realize that--as usual--I do not feel any pain from knocking myself in a dream.

I reach an open area, where I am looking down at a helipad. The helipad is about forty or fifty feet below me, and there are numerous helicopters on the ground, propellers spinning. I think that I might jump down into one of the propellors, but then change my mind, as I really have no wish to test being chopped up (dang it!). Instead, I decide to use this high point as a jump off for flying. I leap into the air, but just fall (very swiftly) to the ground. I hit the ground and then fall down on my butt.

I now stand up, look around, and just lift into the air. I fly higher and higher, really not even trying now to do anything, and travel perhaps several hundred feet into the air (that's advanced, right!? ). I then look around, and my body begins to fall. I am momentarily scared, but then remember that I'm not really doing anything, nothing is happening, and there is nothing at all to worry about. I relax, and just hang in mid-air. I then accelerate upwards again. As I am thinking these things, I realize my body is moving of its own accord, flying this way and that. I think this is kind of neat and just observe my body flying. I then relax again, and I this must trigger something with my WL body because I wake up.

On a side note, this dream has caused me to think more about meditation in dream, and has prompted me to concentrate more on my daily practice of sitting, as well as begin to integrate sitting more into my dream practice.

Dream 2.

I had a dream that Gaggy was keeping me and my mom prisoner inside a large house. Gaggy is my dead grandmother who is in heaven now. I'm obviously afraid of her. I was outside by a barbed wire fence and I saw Frank Ross Triptastical on the other side. I couldnt climb over I was weak. I asked Frank to help me and he said but you never helped me. So I said I will now I'd rather be a smudge. (I am reading a book where society is divided into people who stay up at night, the smudges, and people who live during the day, the rays. the rays oppress the smudges and remove their pineal glands when they are babies. terrible right? Its called "Plus One"). Anyways, Frank climbed the fence and went inside the fence still outside. He dropped his backpack and helped me climb over. We walked to where there was trees and left the backpack there. We were going to walk around but heard footsteps and thought it was Gaggy, but it turned out to be my friend Kirstin and another girl. We hugged them happy to see them. Inside the house Gaggy had been yelling at me and hurting me but I escaped. I believe that the devil was pretending to be Gaggy to hurt me and to make me be afraid of Gaggy because in the dream Gaggy my grandmother was wicked but she isn't in real life. I told Frank I would help him so I have to help him. I couldn't find him on facebook so I prayed for him and I will keep praying for him.

Dream 1/Earlier.

In an earlier dream that I recalled later, a group was doing ballet inside or outside I dont remember, and I saw my friend Polly's daughter Emma doing ballet with them, and I walked towards the group and started to dance with them. There was a ballet teacher in the front of the group. When I walked into the group Emma morphed into a different little girl. I danced some and fell on the ground and did a pose on the ground but I was stuck on the ground and couldn't move. The dance teacher said if she was going to use me she could only use me as a prima ballarina, as a dance soloist, because of the large way I dance. I forget the beginning and end of the dream I know there was more but it's lost to me.

One of the oddest sort of recurring dreams I have is that I'm in a shower and the water is really hot and loud. Its nice and peaceful however I can always just faintly hear something else going on just outside the bathroom door. While I'm in the shower I can't help but get the feeling that whatever is going on out there is something very dark and dangerous and all in all scary...but that thought is never as loud as the shower water. I feel this false sense of bliss but theres always something nagging at the back of my mind...tonights dream was unfortunately no different only in the dream I was sitting in the shower and not standing. With my knees pulled up against my chest. The water was just as loud and as hot but then my cat jumped up on the ledge of the tub and just looked at me like she was expecting me to do something? In the dream I ignored her and closed my eyes and rested my forehead on my knees. I could still hear the water and still had that faint sense of anxiety that somewhere where I was not...something bad was happening.