memorable

Ritual: WTB 1am, woke 4:20am, got up and read, drank spice lassi (yogurt, water, turmeric, cumin, salt), did 12 minutes seated meditation incorporation SSILD technique before returning to bed at 5:50am. Before going to bed I affirmed several times, "I vow to lucid dream," reflecting on how a vow is much more serious than an intention, a little nervous that I might inadvertantly break my vow, but reminding myself that I didn't dare, failing to go through on an intention is one thing, but you're never supposed to break your vows. I wanted to avoid supplements for the most part as that hasn't helped much lately, but I did use a few drops of Calea Zacatechichi tincture, because although I can't say for sure if it actually works, I thought the distinctive taste might contribute a useful placebo effect. I lay on my back in bed and did a series of tension-relaxation exercises, then cycled in random order through several affirmations ("I am aware / I do / I dream"). Drifted off, woke up a little, realized it was getting too bright out and my mind felt sufficiently wakeful that this might be an obstacle to sleep, so I put on my sleep mask (a device of last resort as I don't like wearing it), turned on my left side, and continued the affirmations until I fell asleep. I got a lot of distinct hypnagogic imagery and sounds every time I started to drift off, but I did not feel the physical signs of transition.

WILD, Part 1: I woke up again, thinking I might have transitioned successfully, and got out of bed. I could still distinctly feel myself wearing the sleep mask so I wondered if I was really dreaming, but realized that since it wasn't obstructing my vision, then I must be. I was tempted to rip off the mask but decided to just ignore it, and soon the sensations disappeared for the duration of the dream. Now that I was sure I was dreaming, I wanted to get started right away on my tasks. I reached behind me for my wand, a gesture familiar from a few years ago when I had been playing a lot with Harry Potter style magic. I got used the idea that my wand was sheathed just behind my right hip, so I could just reach back there at any time to draw it. However, this time I came up empty-handed. I realized that this was probably because, having just gotten out of bed, I wasn't wearing any clothes. Nevermind, I can work on that task later. By this time I'm in the kitchen, so it should be an easy matter to procure some fortune cookies!

I walk toward the kitchen counter, expecting to find a bag of fortune cookies ready to hand. Sure enough, there is a clear plastic bag right where I expect, but as I reach for it I see that it contains... what are those, pierogies? I laugh because they look almost like fortune cookies and are anything but, and it is just like dream to bait and switch this way. I pick up the bag and reach into it anyway, focusing my expectations around pulling out a proper fortune cookie, and by the time my hand closes around something, I can tell that it is falling into line: it has the dry smooth surface, distinctive shape and ridges of a fortune cookie. I pull it out and break it in half to get the fortune. I remember that I'm supposed to eat the cookie too, so I start nibbling at it while extracting the fortune, which was wedged inside the cookie in a crumpled up wad. As I smooth it, I see that the little strip of paper is covered with what looks like dabs of herb butter mixed with little shreds of nori seaweed, a kind of east-west fusion of ingredients. I'm disappointed to see that there is no writing on the paper at all, just the seasonings.

No problem, the bag contains several cookies. I'll just get another. I try again, and fortunately the next cookie contains a larger slip of paper, one that comes out properly this time and contains actual text—quite a lot of text actually, four or five lines of it. I start to read it, murmuring aloud to help fix it in memory. It starts something like: "And earth her allies rift..." It goes on from there, not making much sense, and worse, by the time I get to the second line the first one is already changing, now "her allies" looks like it has been replaced by something in German, "die Beile."

(Weird, according to my German dictionary app "die Beile" means "axes, hatchets." I've studied a bit of German, which is why I have the app, but I'm not aware that I've ever learned that word and didn't even know if it was a real one until I looked it up.)

I continue reading the fortune, and by the time I get to the end the first line has changed again even more, and I'm pretty sure so has everything else. I realize this is somewhat hopeless, the fortune was so long that it would have been hard enough to remember even if it were static, much less track all the changes, so I just determine to remember the part that I read initially, since I think I can keep at least this much in working memory: "And earth her allies rift."

By this point the fortune has transformed into a large plastic wrapper like the sort that might have wrapped a whole box of cookies, and as I continue to look at it, I'm surprised by how much additional text is written on the side in small print: mundane details like the address of the manufacturer, etc. I see a date, "1945," and note that the place of manufacture is San Francisco, which makes sense (wasn't the fortune cookie invented there?) but by now the date has already changed to "1929."

FA: Around this time I wake up and grab the notebook I keep next to the bed to start writing things down. Something's wrong, though: even though I normally open it to a blank page before sleeping, it is now open to a page wholly printed with graphics resembling some type of manga. I don't remember the notebook having graphics! I flip through to find a blank page quickly while my memories are fresh, but all the white pages are already filled with previous notes, and they are interspersed with the manga pages, like a cross between a notebook and a graphic novel. I find a space of blank color on one of the manga images, just enough room to scribble, "and earth her allies rift," but then I feel guilty about spoiling the drawing. I don't even remember what the story is, but if I write all over it I might end up regretting it.

While I'm still trying to figure out where to put down the rest of my notes, my husband comes into the room carrying two boxes wrapped in paper, like presents. Apparently this is some new game that has just arrived that he wants to play together, a console game. I remember him telling me about it earlier: the plot has something to do with cartoonish kids and their gorilla allies. It seems that the game can only be played in two-person mode, so he has come in to try to wake me up. I'm still lying in bed, so he sets the two boxes down right on top of me and starts to rip off the paper wrapping. The boxes are cubes measuring about a foot on each side, and at first I wonder why they are so large, but as he tears off the paper I can see from the box art that they contain individual devices like Playstation controllers.

Although I do want to play the game at some point, I'm annoyed at this disruption because I was in the middle of a lucid dream attempt! After jotting down my notes I had been planning to try to re-enter the dream state. However, I already vaguely suspect that this might not be a real awakening because everything seems so exaggerated, from the problems with my notebook to my husband's rude attempt to wake me. He may not share my hobby, but he's aware of it, and would be unlikely to disturb me while I'm still sleeping, much less set boxes on me! This remains only a suspicion, and I don't become fully aware of the fact that I'm still dreaming. Rather, I conclude only that I'm still on the verge of it, since I can still feel the heaviness and tingling in my limbs that lets me know that I can probably re-enter the dreamstate once this distraction has diminished. So I quietly grumble at my husband until he leaves, careful to keep calm and not lose my temper since that could wake me up too much and make it impossible to to return to the dream. After he goes out of the room, I get myself settled in the bed again and prepare to re-transition. This is amusing in retrospect because evidently I was fully dreaming the whole time—I had the impression that I was DEILDing back into the dream, but obviously if this had been a real awakening DEILD would have been impossible after such a chaotic interlude! When I felt confident I was dreaming again, I got back out of bed.

WILD, Part 2: Having done fortune cookies, I thought I should put all my focus now into completing the Patronus TOTM. Once more I reach for my wand and once again come up empty-handed. No matter, I've used a chopstick as a wand before with great success, and I keep a jar of those right on the kitchen counter, so I walk up to it and pluck a nice sturdy one. Although the jar is mostly full of delicately-pointed Japanese chopsticks, I choose a sturdier one of the Chinese type, cut half-square and half-round. It looks just like one of my real chopsticks, from a simple and practical set I acquired many years ago in Nonthaburi because I didn't know I was supposed to give them back to the door-to-door noodle vendor, and it feels comfortable and familiar in my hand.

I figure that it would be most appropriate to summon a Patronus if there were a real threat, but I don't want to over-complicate things by going to look for one. I reason that since my husband was annoying me just now with the boxes and almost woke me up, this could serve as a sufficient stand-in. So I find him in the living room, point the wand toward him and say firmly, "Expecto Patronum!" I hear an audible "pop" like something bursting but see no change in the visual field. I try again and nothing happens at all. I strengthen my resolve, try a third time, and... what is that?... I look closer... it's... moths! The air between us where I was aiming the wand is now occupied with a cloud of small shimmering moths!

I'm delighted with these results because they were so unexpected. I figured my Patronus would turn out to be something predictable like a type of animal I like, maybe a cat or an owl or a raven or even a horse, but moths had never crossed my mind! However, I had intentionally left the form of the Patronus unspecified, because I was hoping the dream would collaborate with me creatively and come up with something interesting and unanticipated, and in this respect it fulfilled its role splendidly.

Moths! I would never have consciously arrived at this solution, but now it makes perfect sense: I am very much a night person, after all, and these are definitely night moths. I watch them for a few moments, entranced by the glitter and sparkle of their silver bodies in flight. They are relatively small, with wingspans of roughly three-quarters of an inch, but there is a whole cloud of them, many dozens filling an area several feet on either side. Although we are indoors, they appear to be illuminated by moonlight. It is incredibly beautiful. And they've fulfilled the function of a Patronus, it seems, in that they have averted the "threat" (such as it was) and completely defused the tension in the room. My husband is watching them too, and appears just as enchanted with them as I am.

After admiring the moths for a while, I notice a rabbit on the living room floor. It is wonderfully well-articulated, closely resembling Dürer's famous drawing of a hare. (Probably WLR because I briefly saw that drawing yesterday.) Since I'm still holding the wand, I figure I might as well try out another HP spell. I recall that there's one that ends with "leviosa," and although I can't remember the first word, I figure it is unimportant because clearly "leviosa" is the operative term. So I point the wand at the hare and say, "Leviosa!" Sure enough, it rises right off the ground into the air. I set it back down and pet it fondly.

I now feel satisfied that I have accomplished both the tasks I had intended, and I know I should wake up now and write promptly before I forget any details. But the dream is going so well, so clear and stable and responsive... it would be a shame to leave it so soon... I give in to the temptation to take a quick look outside, just for a minute, before coming back in to wake up and begin my report.

Walking back through the kitchen, I open the screen door to the back patio. Sometimes my WILDs become more unstable after I leave the house, probably in large part because I've developed the expectation that this can happen, but in this case I plan to wake up soon anyway, so I walk outside without hesitation.

It only takes a step or two before the environment no longer resembles my backyard. I encounter a group of four DCs, a mix of men and women who appear to be in their twenties. They begin to approach or accost me in a vaguely threatening manner. I try the Patronus charm again, but it is not as effective this time: the cloud of moths is much smaller and the DCs appear unimpressed. I'm not sure if I actually see them holding wands, or only rationalize that they might be, but I figure this would be the perfect opportunity to try another HP spell. "Expelliamus!" I shout, aiming at the guy on the far left. Sure enough, his wand jumps right out of his hand toward me, and I catch it neatly. You'd think this would give the others enough warning to prepare their defenses, and indeed they seem to be scrambling to try, but I promptly disarm them all using the same technique.

I walk on a little further, and encounter a few more DCs sitting on a low brick wall and chatting. The initial four have followed me, and I get the impression that the new ones are their friends. I wonder if they are going to retaliate at me for having taken all their wands, so try the Patronus charm yet again: "Expecto Patronum!" This time only a scattering of moths appear, a half dozen or less. I feel a bit embarrassed at this poor showing. "It must be out," I muse, wondering if the wand can only conjure a limited number of moths in a given interval.

Nevermind, I've got more tricks in my arsenal, and I want to intimidate these DCs so they'll back off. I wonder if I can levitate the whole group of people? "Leviosa!" I command, trying to make them all rise in the air at once. It doesn't work, and I speculate that maybe this is like game mechanics, where it is easier to perform such effects on simple creatures like animals, but harder on a more intelligent creature like a person, since they get a free roll to resist. I think it over and decide, well, maybe so, but... I have all the wands! Their combined power should be enough to counter any resistance. Is it possible to use more than one wand simultaneously to cast a spell? Only one way to find out!

Standing in the center of the DCs, who form a ring around me, I levitate myself initially—partly to cement the idea of levitation more firmly in mind, and partly because some of them look like they might want to make a grab at me at any minute. Hovering in the air just above them, I arrange all the wands together in my right hand so that I am gripping them evenly, and try again: "Leviosa!" This time I am pleased to see the whole circle of people around me—about six or seven now I think, the initial group plus their friends—rise simultaneously several feet into the air until they are almost even with my own level. They all look discomfited and alarmed by this change of circumstances, so to reassure them that I mean no real harm I let them sink gently back down to the ground and come down as well myself, satisfied with the results of my experiment.

I decide to stop fooling around now and go back into the house to write my report. It seems dream logic has made me forget that I can just wake up whenever I want to, I don't actually have to go back bodily into the house and manually start writing. But as I turn to go, one of the girls who has returned to her seat on the brick wall yells something hostile and sarcastic after me. I figure she's upset over my levitation stunt, so I decide to use friendliness to try to transform her attitude. I walk right up to her and, maybe taking "friendliness" a little too far, kiss her on the lips. Although she just looks startled and confused now, I smile warmly and say with genuine affection, "See you later!"

Returning to what I think must be the spot where I came out of the building, I go back inside. Just in case the DCs are still feeling miffed and try to follow me in, I lock and bolt the heavy door behind me. This is no longer the sliding screen door to my kitchen, but a large and solidly made wooden door with numerous locking mechanisms. I'm not sure if I came in the right door at all, because when I turn around I see that I'm in what looks like a nineteenth-century boiler room: it is full of heavy, old-fashioned machinery. Nevermind, I'm sure I can find the entrance to my kitchen just a little further on, so I'll go through and look for it.

As I pass by some of the machines, I marvel at their intricacy and the clarity with which I can perceive how they are constructed. I pass one machine that has a cylindrical body like an old stove. Although it is made out of solid black cast iron, there is a primitive electric cord incongruously coming out of it, so I figure it must be from a period of technological transition in the late nineteenth century. The electricity is driving some kind of rotating grinder that is hidden in the upper part of the cast iron body under a round upper plate, and with a flash of insight I think I know what this is: it must be a mill of some kind! But what is it grinding? I look at it a little longer and see a lower basin, also cast iron, positioned below the cylindrical body to catch drippings of some kind: the drippings resemble hot slag, semi-melted metal. Whatever this thing is milling, it is definitely not flour!

I continue to make my way through the room, dodging complex pieces of shaped metal and machinery that crowd around closely on all sides, but when I get to the far wall I'm disconcerted to find that there's no door. How am I going to get back into my house? Although there seems to be no exit in the walls other than the door I came in, the ceiling is so far overhead as to be out of sight, and I observe that this is less a room than a vertical shaft filled with industrial machinery all the way up, so I begin to levitate and rise through the lattice of metal bars. When I get about three storeys up I see in the wall what looks like the worn wooden cover of a hatch, arched on the top and with a flat base. There is no handle and it looks like it would be too small to crawl through comfortably, but I figure I can make a portal in the wall here to pass through.

Aiming my wand at the wall, I intend for a portal to form in the location of the hatch. Although nothing appears that I would recognize as a portal, the wall changes, the area in front of me becoming transparent, and just a few feet beyond I see a vertical transparent sheet of glass, apparently the wall of a neighboring building, a modern glass-walled high-rise. Directly across from me through the glass, I see what looks like the interior of a cafe, the sort of place the people who work in this building might stop for coffee or a snack on their lunch hour. It is dark inside and empty of customers, as it is nighttime, but I notice with mild alarm that several cops are running through the cafe and aiming guns at me! They seem very deliberate, as though this was a sting operation directed at stopping me. If they shoot, they'll surely break the glass and then I'll be exposed.

I consider making the first move and breaking the glass myself to engage them, but I don't feel like getting into combat. I point my wand toward the cops with the intention of creating some kind of protective barrier between us, but I don't see any change and can't tell if this is successful. I decide to just get out of here. Making another portal directly in front of me seems like a bad idea, because the cops might shoot at any moment, so I get a bit creative and make the portal directly under my feet—all this time I have been hovering in the air, after all—and then I take what feels like a leap of faith and simply let myself fall directly into it. Would any pursuers be able to follow? As I fall, I decide that probably the best course at this point is to let the portal lead me to waking, and so I transition from feeling as though I'm falling through a round tunnel of undefined space to waking up in my bed and scrambling to start taking notes before the memories fade.

It's interesting how clear and stable my dream memory remains—even of such a complex series of episodes—for as long as I am still dreaming, and it is only on waking that the whole fabric begins to thin and fray unless it is captured immediately. Fortunately there were no problems with my notebook this time so I jotted down the key details quickly by hand and then spent the next hour and a half typing up my full draft of the report while the memories were still fresh in mind. I don't mind devoting the time (and sacrificing the sleep) for it when the dreaming is so good!

September 16, 2014

---

I was in some sort of large aircraft. there may have been something about an air battle at some point with smaller craft. I was fighting some bad guy. I don't remember the battle much, but I do know that it was an epic one.

After I defeated the bad guy, he turned into The Face, and we floated on this massive ship/mansion thing. He was changing the world by making is so we were floating on just water, and there were hovering land masses in the shapes of animals, covered in grass and trees. Beyond them, in the far distance, were some mountains. I couldn't tell if they were on the ground or also floating, because they were far enough away that the curvature of the world made it so I couldn't see the bottom of them.

For some reason, the floating animal-land-masses were giving me a weird vibe. I didn't like it there, I could feel something just a little off about the whole place, and so I took off flying from the balcony The Face and I were standing on. We may have been talking, but mostly he was just showing me how he could change the world.

I flew over the water and to the mountains. Once I got closer, I saw that they were indeed just on the water, not floating. I flew over the mountains (which, as it turned out, were more just large hills) and saw a large plane behind them. Beyond the plane I saw a large city (the Big City on my map). From here I could see that I was on the side that is along a river.

I flew into the city, and something made me look down at my hands. I had a weird sort of there-but-not-there second thumb, and so I knew that I was dreaming! I was already flying, and so I just sort of went up further, to the roof of the building next to me. It looked like there was some sort of fancy dinner party on the roof, and I flew up to a table. I had the Patronus task on my mind already, and didn't want a repeat of the last attempt, so instead of trying to find a wand, I just picked up a butter knife and called it good.

I turned away from the dinner party with my butter knife in hand, and looked into my own wavey, slightly distorted reflection in the mirror-like window-covered wall of the building next to this one. I yelled, "Expecto Patronum!" and there was a blue-ish purple-ish and somehow also orange-ish glow from the end of the knife. I made myself focus on a happy memory, which happened to be a time in Austria with Zukin, when we were hiking. I yelled, "Expecto Patronum!" again, and this time there was more light, and a shadow of something large on the windows of the other building. I focused on the blurry shape and realized it was Mewtwo.

Fuck Yeah.

I watched my badass patronus fly around, then dismissed it with a smile. I was pretty happy with this lucid dream so far! I thought of what other task I could try, and remembered the fortune cookie one. That was the other one I was pretty excited to try.

I fly back to the dinner party, and found the bar tender lady at the edge of the roof. I first asked for something to drink, and got some bubbly in a dainty glass with gold flecks around the rim. I landed on the roof and milled amongst the people, sipping my drink, and then I went back to the bartender lady. I asked for a fortune cookie this time. She grudgingly said, "Alright, fine," and reached under the bar, handing me a fortune cookie. I grinned and stuck it in my pocket. I had the feeling that I should wait to open it. That I should first fly down to the ground level of the building. I hovered around the front entrance, hoping to meet Zukin. Lowe and behold, I opened the door to find her waiting for me in the lobby.

"Hey Zukin! I'm lucid right now! We're in a dream!" She just kinda stared at me. "Can you remember any of the lucid tasks this month?" I asked, hoping that my subconscious mind could give me a hint on the other tasks, all of which I keep forgetting, even IWL.

She stared at me again, shrugged, and then said, "Let's go to the bathroom. I gotta pee."

I put my drink down against a wall and followed her to the bathroom (STILL not remembering the flushing task. And what a hint I'd given myself, too! I actually had to check the forum and then laughed at myself for not getting it). I watched her go into one of the stalls, and sat on the sink while she used the toilet. I took out my fortune cookie, and took it out of the wrapping. I inhaled as I cracked it open, and was surprised to see a rather large, folded piece of paper inside. I unfolded it, and there was a lot of text. First, a whole bunch of rather large numbers (large for a fortune cookie, that is) and then some random words, and more numbers. I realized the numbers and words kept changing when I looked away, so I tried not to take my eyes off the numbers and words as I got out my phone, hoping to write them down. Silly me. Lucky thing is, writing things helps me remember them, so I remember many of the numbers and words I saw. It was something like this:

87 69 899 99 99 99 56 72 12

Money
Moshy

88 54 23

Honey
Honey

And then more words and numbers. Lots of them. It was weird.

I laughed, and Zukin came out of the stall. "What's so funny?" She asked, washing her hands.

"This fortune. You know we're in a dream, right?" I recently read a book that described a method for inducing shared dreams, and this is what I was trying with her. I just found out she likely wasn't even asleep when I had this dream, which may be why it never worked... "This fortune is on crack, look at it. It keeps changing." Even as I passed her the paper, I could see that the numbers and words were changing, though the format was always the same. always the same amount of words and numbers, always in the same place and with the same number of digits or letters.

She looked at it, shrugged, and said, "huh. That's kinda weird."

We left the bathroom, and I found my drink again. I liked having the pretty glass in my hand, since it made me feel posh. I tried telling Zukin again that this was a lucid dream. She stared at me again and then smiled. "Hey, how about let's go to that place I took you before, that garden thing?"

I didn't remember the place she was talking about, or having been taken someplace by her even, but I shugged and said, "Sure, why not?" I had already done two tasks and it could be fun! And if I was going to continue trying to share the dream with the real Zukin, I had to stick with the DC Zukin.

We went out of the building, and met one of her friends. It was a man, but I don't remember much more about him, I was mostly focusing on Zukin at this point. Which I'm glad I did, because she started being a fucking ninja. She was doing back-flips over walls and climbing lamp-posts like it was nothing. I jumped to follow her, flying, but couldn't fly for a moment. I looked down at my hands again to reaffirm that I was dreaming, and this time I had a there-but-not-there second middle finger. So weird! Anyways, once again assured that I was still dreaming, I jumped again and started flying to follow Zukin. Her friend was also flying, slightly behind me. I knew this was still not the real Zukin, because she wasn't flying. Flying's her thang in a lucid dream, so I figured if it was her, she still didn't know we were dreaming.

So I am flying after Zukin as she ninjas her way to this big half-indoor, half-outdoor garden. In this garden, there is a pool-sized hot tub surrounded by tropical plants and trees, with a huge rock at one end of it. There are about ten people in the tub right now, all toward the end without the rock on it. I land on the rock, and look back just as Zukin does a flip over the edge of it to land next to me, and her friend lands behind her, and then run past us both, jumping into the water. I think he had stripped buck-naked as he ran.

I looked back at Zukin, and said, "I don't have my swimsuit on, hope you don't mind!" and winked, but then realized that, if I took off my clothes, my swimsuit was probably going to be on underneath, and if not, I'm dreaming so what the hell?

She said, "Ohhhh, skinny dipping?" and made a move toward me all seductively.

"Oh yeah," I said. I took off my shirt, and found that I did indeed have a swimsuit on. Except it was one from my childhood, which just magically seemed to still fit me. It was light blue with colorful plastic beads on it. I took off my pants, and noted a faded salmony colored bikini bottom. My body was a lot more fit than it is IWL, to my joy AND consternation.

I jumped into the warm water, and we both swam to the other end, taking a seat amidst the other people. I told her again that this was a lucid dream, but it started to fade. I let it fade, knowing that it had been a great dream. I swirled the water around my fingers a bit and dunked my head until the dream faded completely and I woke up 15 minutes before my alarm!

9.16.14

Dream happend on 9.15.14, while sleeping over at friends house.

DR: I'm walking around a place that looks like my mom's place. Her kitchen is there for sure, only longer. Adjacent hallway is similar, but everything is bigger.

So as I'm walking throught the place, I sence evil presense. I feel wind around me, but only I feel it. My unbuttoned shirt is filling up with air and flapping in the wind. It's not a good wind. It's the presense.

There is one person there and suddenly I see the look of horror on her? face and she? is backing away from me. I'm like "wth"? I walk to the mirror and I see myself looking exactly as I do IWL. I'm kinda scared to look, expecting devil horns to show on my head. But as i look, there are no horns. I see my head and torso and I'm wearing my red shirt. But my face starts to very slowly morph into one that looks more male. I remember thinking "oh, so devil is male". I was starting to get scared and woke up.

Date: 25 Aug

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Cannot quite recall the exact beginning but remember willing the scene to appear as I was falling alseep. There were a number of coming into shape items and I told myself that my subcon is at this point trying to make something out of them so concentrate. There were a number of scenes.

I don't recall what happened when I finally entered the dream but there was some active dream scenario going on.

After looking around expectedly and not seeing a pyramid to enter, I notice people getting on a bus and wonder whether to give it a try. It doesn't strike me as possible to manipulate the dream as much as to be inside the bus while actually going somewhere and really get there but I give it a try. It's getting rather full, but I find a free seat and sit there. To be certain this tour bus is going in the right direction, I shout and make them all repeat "We are going to the Pyramid of Giza". Here I have thoughts about whether my throat is moving (DV thread) as I feel physical pressure while shouting.

Don't recall getting off the bus and in the next scene I'm already inside this place with an atmosphere of an excavation dig. It looks as if I've made it past the pyramid's entrance and am now in how I in the dream more or less imagine its interior. It has the feel and look of a number of previous dreams about sightseeing in Egypt. Excited, I decide to explore the ancient Egyptian structure. There are two directions to go and after some maneuvering I orient myself towards what feels like the center.

It is now quite lively, full of crowds of people getting in and coming out. While this should be the interior of the pyramid and be very spacey in my dreaming mind, it still feels to me as if I'm taking forever to walk towards the official "lobby". It's like a tourist attraction where you first have to go to the lobby/cashier and then enter a separate part with the things to see. On my way to the center, I pass by a girl with a pink feather on her head and my hand by mistake gets into her hair. As a result the feather falls from her head and then I take it. How weird, I think to myself, what my hand did. The feather is beautiful and as realistic as it gets, I'm very fascinated by the looks of it and the feel of the dream in general.

As I continue on my way, the little girl catches up with me and starts whining about her feather. I tell her that I didn't mean to take it on purpose rather it just happened as an accident and give it back. She calms down continues towards the exit, while I continue my walk toward the center in this carpet covered corridor. I finally reach the center and what lies beyond. There is a large number of exhibition items on each side of the walls. At this point they are all Egyptian, way too many to be able to recall, but I remember a statue of Anubis in dark stone with decorations in green and gold, maybe a round necklace with green stone. I start thinking about how this place now almost completely resembles a museum and continue my walk, looking at the fancy items.

The dream ends at some point. I stay still but it does take a bit longer.

DEILD: As I fall asleep, I unconsciously grab onto the scene and make it so that the same place comes back. The ancient stuff is still around. There were also large columns at some point but I vaguely recall these. Just found it a bit weird to be back, as I wasn't too focused consciously on that. I continue my tour in this pyramid museum, going from room to room and looking at lots of exhibition items. This time they are more from classic and medieval ages and I see a room full of different sizes and styles of angel statues. They all look really cute and I wonder why do they have so many angel statues here.

I continue down the corridors looking at items but soon hear angry shouts as if some sort of riot is taking place. I think about inception. They surely won't catch up with me, but despite my weak efforts to ignore them, the trouble makers are coming closer. Now I have a typical dream problem, I really want to leave this place but am trapped in an endless labyrinth of corridors and doors. There is a really weird looking one having a blurred net in front but I as I approach the net kind of disappears. I remind myself to think about outside, windows and things like that. I go through the door and finally in a room with a glass door leading to the outside. It looks locked but I open it just like that.

A DC comes and starts talking about something, kind of trying to hijack the dream with their own scenario while I find myself staring at a pot full of poached eggs. For a moment I become distracted but then come to my senses again. There is a cool looking tower nearby and I head in its direction.

Worried that it's time to wake up, I end up having an FA where I press the snooze button and wild in dream. A brief ld moment in a grandma's place before I wake up for real.

I am standing in a tree-house. A boy with short, light brown hair stands across from me. He is looking up towards the heavens. I glance at him, then I look up. I look at him again: he is peaceful. His heart is radiating love, complete, unconditional love. He is thinking silently. We are both on DMT. An older, yet remarkably young, man walks in. He stands next to the boy - he is, perhaps, the boy's father or uncle. He is there to protect us. The tree house starts spinning, and there is a Kennywood sign in the distance. None of us are scared. It just is, and we are joyous. It spins and spins and spins.
Then I wake up, and the boy is gone. His father is gone. I want to meet them. God, were they real? I ask. I don't get a clear answer. I get an answer, I'm just not sure whether or not that answer came from God or my subconsciousness. He's Aaron Dottle's roommate in heaven. The father? Or uncle? I don't know.
I am laying down, my head is on my pillow. I try to savor the memory of the dream. Put it into my memory, remember what he looked like. I don't know his name. I stop thinking about Aaron's roommate - who I will meet someday - and shut my eyelids.
I am sitting in a room with a fireplace. There are tables with chairs. Couches. We are sitting discussing the Bible. It's one of those Upper Room dreams, the ones that make me want to go back to Pittsburgh and have fellowship with the Upper Room. I love them dearly...Jenna, Mike, Deirdre. We are all sitting together talking. There is complete honesty. None of us are judging. We are thinking about God, and Mike, the pastor, is teaching. We listen calmly, joyously. I ask them, "Have you seen Damon?" He is my soul-mate that I lost sight of, lost my chances with, but I know that, even though he pretends to hate me, he loves me as deeply as I love him. I gave away his secret. I can't tell you what it is. I hear, "He always asks, 'Have you seen Cali?'" and that makes me happy. Then I look down at my Bible. I read the words on the page. Do not be decieved: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galations 6:7-10 I look up from my green leather Bible. We discuss. I think, 'I'll never give up on Damon.' Then I see Damon outside of the window. He is looking in and the window is open. I stand up and jump out the window and Damon starts running. I am running after him, hearing And I'll be by your side, wherever you fall in the dead of night, whenever you call and please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you. Suddenly the running is all there is: me and Damon, in heaven, running and running. We don't stop. Our feet silently touch the fresh green grass.
I open my eyes slowly. I'm back in my bed, and Damon is nowhere to be found. I remember hearing Tenth Avenue North. I want to be by Damon's side, I think. And I know that God is by Damon's side. I think, I hope Damon becomes Christian before he dies. I don't want him to go to Hell. I know he will get out and I will see him. I'll wait by his bed. I'll watch him sleep. And when he opens his eyelids, he'll finally stop dreaming. I'll stay awake. We'll stay up all night talking, as if we were communicating telepathically.
We were. I know it, because he stabbed me, and I woke up. He read my mind. He told me, 'If you're right, I'm happy.' And I know that someday, he will love God as much as I do. (He didn't stab me, but for a while I thought he did because I felt a sharp pain in my heart)
_____________________________
I was in a library with many floors. I was exploring the books. Then suddenly I was in a painting class. I was holding a paintbrush. I dipped it into skin color paint, and touched the brush to the blank page in front of me.
There have been many dreams of heaven swimming pools. In one of them, it was small and divided between lanes, and I had a vest on. Something felt wrong, and I asked, Where’s Jesus, because in the dream I thought I was in heaven but everything was so wrong. Then the dream changed. Someone found me and held my hand and walked with me to a different area. One that was peaceful and beautiful. And then the person lead me to the pool in a building. It was huge and the water was clear and there were lap lanes but not only lap lanes. There was a lifeguard and she was climbing up the chair where lifeguards sat. It made me realize that I wouldn’t drown; no one in heaven would ever let me drown. Then I awoke happy, happy that I changed my dream by asking for Jesus. It was sort of lucid dreaming.
_______________________

I let the nightmares go. I just let myself forget them. I am not that person that was dreaming. Night changes many thoughts, and it wasn’t real. So I can’t tell you what it was that made me think differently about God, but right now I love God, so that’s all that matters.

______________________


I joined a gym. They have free exercise classes. Am I awake? Am I dreaming? I don’t think so. From now on I plan to question my consciousness…ask myself if I’m awake. Then someday I’ll ask myself, am I awake? While I am sleeping. Maybe I’ll have more lucid dream.
Come back to reality, wake from your lucid dream. Sometimes I am just a dreamer. I go through life in a dreamlike way, but now I am awake. I am awake because I hear music and I’m not in the tunnel machine that I often go through while I’m sleeping and dreaming. There isn’t that nightmarish cliff that I saw when I was dreaming about wanting to buy donuts in Pittsburgh. There was a cliff and a railing and a road below the cliff, and I was scared out of my mind.
I dreamt I was loving Sara Leticia, but I don’t remember the dream, but the essence was that she had room for me in her life, and that she was letting me into her life with Stefan. Before that I had a dream that I was doing back handsprings, and it was so easy and simple. One day, like in my many gymnastics dreams, I will do backhandsprings and back tucks and they will be simple and easy. After thousands of years of training, I will do gymnastics like the girl I wish I was, the girl I wish I grew up as.
Because I didn’t become that girl (yet), I became the girl that loves violin and writing. Sometimes I feel absolutely joyous listening to myself playing violin. Sometimes I feel bored playing violin, not loving the sound I’m making, so I put my violin away, and I go someplace quiet to sit and think. Later I pick up the violin again and try to make it sing.
I had a dream where I was in heaven and running. There was a staircase that went down millions of feet and then a lovely green hill. Wherever I was I just kept running. Then I found some people and we were looking at rocks and gently putting them in the water. I found a red and black rock that looked like a beating heart. Someone said, "Look for a Jesus colored rock." I said, the rock I found is red and that's the color of the blood He shed to save us. Earlier in the dream I was sharing clothing that a boy was wearing, we swapped clothing. When I woke up it was like there was a rock laying on top of my chest, I couldn't move and it was scary. The lesson I learned: just keep running, just keep holding on, because there will be God's light somewhere in the distance, and you will find it, you will dream it, you will hold onto God's love. Just keep running through the rocky terrain and you will find a beautiful garden.

- I was watching a League of Legends match, but instead of the usual map, it was a piece of a world map showing land a lot of ocean. Weird.
- We were going on a field trip with my college classmates. The research site was really damp and a storm was on the way so we took refuge in town. After doing some shopping and get something to eat we found an abandoned house with a sealed door. We use the rails nearby to send a train flying through the door (yeah).
Inside it looks like a normal house but we know it's the hideout of a dangerous band of criminals. After some action we manage to escape.
- I'm riding my bike on my way home. It is nightime, apparently past midnight. I take a turn into a deserted street and i'm able to look at the sky. There were 4 moons! I realised that was strange (yay for awareness practice!) but i got distracted by the dream and continued my way. After a while it starts to get clear, and a bunch of drunk people are following the same path as me. I arrive at a station, i meet a lot of people i don't see anymore, and i even fight a (really dumb) thief.

These dreams were really vivid and long, so i'm happy my recall got better and this was the second time i remember noticing something strange while non-lucid. Lucid dreaming i'm almost there!

Dream - Lucid

This dream is an absolute jumbled mess, but I'll try to order it the best that I can.

I was sitting on the couch in our living room. I had taken my medicine already and was struggling to keep my eyes open. I was messing with something on my phone, and apparently, I fell asleep while doing so. I then was dreaming (within the dream) about what looked like a SimCity view of, well, a city. It was a place I wanted us to move to, and moving was as simple as clicking a button. I remember placing buildings or something.

I then woke up in the first dream. I had fallen asleep on the couch. I heard my husband's voice from the other room calling me.
"You spend too much time on the internet," he said.
I mean, he's absolutely right, but I wonder what would prompt him to say that? I then asked
"Did I post a status in my sleep?"
"Yes," he said.
I had been fearing that I had done that. I "remembered" posting a status in my dream about the move. I then looked at my phone on what was supposed to be Facebook, but it didn't really resemble it at all. I had posted a status That said something like this:

Hey! We decided to move to Nokia, Oregon! ________________________________
__________________________________________________ __________________
__________________________________________________ __________________

The lines are text that I can't recall at all.

Holy crap! I posted a status in my sleep. I had a lot of comments on it that appeared like old message board responses (hard to explain what I mean...I guess kind of like how Reddit is set up). All the text was colored and the background was a dark color. I want to say the text was bright orange. I knew that didn't look right for Facebook even in the dream. I thought maybe the site just wasn't loading properly on my phone. I decided to get on the computer, which was located in the opposite corner of the room than it is IWL. I kept trying to get on Facebook, but I kept getting distracted and not doing it. I think I talked to Dallas a little, which was one of the distractions. I did eventually get on there, but it looked the same as it had on my phone. I also noticed that I had initially been posting a status saying

I just found Snake on my phone! (link with the name of the game here; it was a Snake-like game that started with a T)

but I had fallen asleep while doing so. There was also a string of one word statuses, some that were just text, one I remember saying "Sceeea" or something like that. At the end of the string was the long status about moving to Nokia, Oregon. I was so embarrassed, but I guess everyone else on Facebook found it funny judging by some of the comments (can't recall exactly what the comments said).

Then, my daughter was there in the living room, standing by the door (I don't have any kids IWL). She was tall, skinny, and had very tan skin and medium length black hair. She had some acne on her face and had black, bushy eyebrows. She looked to be about 11 or 12 years old. I knew she was my daughter and that she'd been living with us, but I couldn't remember anything about her. I had been a terrible parent. I wasn't even sure who her biological father was. Judging by her tan skin, dark hair, and acne, it was either A or E.

I decided it was time to start making an effort to know my daughter, and to really parent her and be there for her. She was about to go to school, but she was then over by a chair where the computer desk is IWL. She had her backpack, and took out a 12-count of cream cheese-iced cupcakes, ones that we sell at the bakery. Many of them had toppled over. I also noticed that there were two jumbo cupcakes from the bakery that were on the floor, toppled over. It must be her birthday, and she was going to bring cupcakes to school. I asked her
"Do you want me to get you some more?"
I don't remember if she answered me or not, but I was going to do it anyway. I had had no idea that her birthday was that day, but now I knew. I also had no idea what school she went to, and was afraid to ask. She pulled out a small, light muted green purse, and it had something written on it. I was hoping that it was the name of her school so I wouldn't have to ask, but it was just the brand of the purse, "Paulina". Well shit.

She was then standing next to me, and I noticed that she was actually a bit taller than me (not hard to do).

She was then gone, and I was "remembering" her as a baby, and how I wasn't active with her even then. I also "remembered" that my body made an awesome comeback from the pregnancy; I hadn't even looked like I had been pregnant. I then "remembered" miscarrying another pregnancy late in the pregnancy. I was laying in a hospital bed thinking I was in labor. I had a belly and everything. They had me doped up on pain medication, and told me that I lost the baby. I was so numb from the meds though, I didn't feel any emotion when they told me. I was trying to remember any pains I had had before the medicine, but I couldn't. I also remembered telling people, my husband included, that I didn't have any children, but I had just not remembered my daughter. I hadn't been trying to lie, I had just forgotten.

~

I have had many dreams about having a daughter whom I had forgotten about, the earliest one I remember being in 2011 or so. They are in this DJ, but I don't really want to search for them right now. I even had a meditation a month or so ago where I heard this voice say
"I'm afraid my child will come home."
I don't quite no what to make of it yet. I'm starting to get some ideas though.

Also, I know I had a dream before this one, but I can't recall it anymore. I could in the middle of the night, but then I had this dream.

How to express this lands me in a curious peculiarity that I've never come across before and wonder if I ever shall again. Nevertheless, This may cost you everything but save you your life if you know what I'm talking about.

In illusion everything goes to waste. There's no point to it and it's a disease before it is born and it certainly is a disease long after it dies. If you're wondering what this has to do with anything, I had to give a certain introit.

SO! The dream. Yes, Here:

I dreamed someone made a fan-fiction of MLP:FIM and shortly prior to that, I was going through teleportation holes. At one point someone took Opie (from The Andy Griffith Show) through the transportation hole and then the hole vanished, then was put back an instant later. Yet, the guy on the other end of the hole said he was trying to get in contact with me, Whoever I was, for 12 hours! Then I went through this hole through time and space.

LATER, The fan-fiction started. So I looked around and bombs were about to fall! I saw a building which was a refrigerator that I climbed into, Noting that whoever packed the food didn't have that in an underground shelter. I wondered "Where will I go?" and later saw a list of numbers going into the millions of what it would cost to get out of this hell-hole; Everything. Relationships are included in that!

I enjoy the uncertain-to-the-blind yet certain-to-the-initiated way of actual life. I'm sorry.

This is actually a dream I had quite a while ago, I just have been too lazy to record it here. I will also be recording other lucids I've had after this and I will try to get my DJ back up to date. So this is my first dream since the start of my LD journey. I have tried to LD before but wasn't nearly as serious or motivated about it as I am now so I am not counting the few LD's I had back then. And that would only add like maybe 2 or 3 LDs to the count.

Awake
Non-Lucid
Lucid

Field of Darkness

(I can't remember what I did before bed so I guess I won't record that)

I am in a castle corridor, there are a few torches mounted on the walls but there is very little light. I turn a corner to the right and notice that it opens up into a very large field, there is a small hill out in the distance so I can't see beyond that. It is pitch black outside. I go over to the wall on the right side and notice something written in red letters. (I think that it said something like "I'm dreaming" but I'm not certain) All of a sudden I realize that I'm dreaming! I walk outside and look to my left. I can't see anything, its like a wall of blackness is there. I start thinking about scary monsters coming out of there and fear grips me. I immediately turn my thoughts to something else, knowing that those thoughts will probably cause monsters to appear. I start hearing a noise from the darkness so I walk away from it hoping that it won't attack me. (I totally forgot to stabilize which ultimately made me lose stability and wake up in the end) I realize I need it to be light outside so I turn back to the castle and imagine the sun rise high in the air. When nothing happens, I close my eyes and imagine it. When I open them, It isn't as light as I'd hoped but it was dawn, and I could see the sun rising behind the tiny hill in the distance. Then the dream fades to black and I notice that I'm awake. I try to continue to imagine the dream, to hold onto it, but in the end I lost. My eyes opened and I woke up. I was a little disappointed, but mostly happy that I had my first LD!

From this point on, my first goal on my LD list is to learn how to fly. It was on my list before this dream, but I had for some reason forgotten to do it. (I will be writing out my other LDs to date later today or maybe tomorrow)

A woman comes to my desk to inform me that the manager would like to see me.
I get up immediately and begin the long walk to the manager's office.
I pass by thousands of cubicles, all looking perfectly identical to one another.
The room is huge. But it's all just cubicles, sitting on a bright white and spotless white floor,
which slightly reflects what is above it.

Everyone I pass is wearing the exact same grey suit with white shirt combo.
Everyone is in shape, everyone has the same hairstyle, the same hair color, even the same eye color.
No color can be found in here. None whatsoever. Regardless of where you look, it's all white or grey.
There are no distractions. No family photos, no items on any desk besides a monitor, mouse and keyboard.
Everyone is working at maximum efficiency.

Eventually I get to the managers office. A man is leaving the office right as I arrive.
This confirms that I have been walking at precisely the right pace.
I enter the office.

"There has been a problem with your daily psych eval this morning."
"You are to be at the primary psych facilities in 12 minutes for a more in-depth test."
"Yes."

During the exchange, the manager has not even glanced at me once.
I leave the office, and begin the even longer walk to the psychiatric facilities.
As I'm walking past all the cubicles again, I notice a woman, who on closer inspection appears
to be adjusting one of her contact lenses.
As she gently pokes the grey lens, it moves just enough to reveal that she is hiding beautiful green eyes behind them.

And this is why my psych test isn't clean. It's because I notice these things.
It's because I can still occasionally feel emotions.
You're not supposed to. That's how the system works.
It's easy to achieve complete obedience and efficiency without emotions.

I arrive at the office for advanced psychiatric evaluation.
There is only one such office for the entire facility.
Tens of thousands of people, yet I'm the only one here.
I'm the only one who failed the daily eval.
I enter the office. It is very small.
It just houses a simple chair and a robot. (who looks suspiciously similar to glados)


The robot begins to scan me. I try to keep my mind clear of any thoughts.
But I know that this isn't going to help. I'm going to fail this eval. It is inevitable.
In order to disable all emotions completely, the cocktail of drugs we receive daily isn't enough.
Abstinence from all stimuli is also required.
Which is why there are no colors, no music, no socializing, no hobbies...

But the system isn't perfect... because I have seen colors. I have heard music.
I have done so in my dreams. My lucid dreams.
And although it is said that nobody has dreams anymore due to the drugs, I still do.
I think it is because I am a lucid dreamer. Nothing can take my dreams from me.

"Your evaluation is now complete. Return to work."
"Yes."

I leave the room, initially thinking that I might have tricked to robot.
No. It can't be. Someone is probably going to intercept me on the way back.
This is it then. I suppose it is over for me.
I don't really feel any emotional reaction to these thoughts at all.
Perhaps it is the drugs, or maybe I just don't care to live this life any longer.
A woman stops me.

"Excuse me?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you here?"

I got lost in thoughts...
Oh shit. I didn't return to the programming facilities!
I walked deeper into the psych facilities by accident.
This is really not supposed to happen. I can't be here.
And it is so easy to notice that I'm out of place here because they wear different uniforms.

"What is this?"

She points to a device attached to my belt...
It is an old MD player attached to it.

Not only am I in possession of a musical device. It is also partially red!
I get a bit of a mirror's edge vibe from it. The forbidden color red, the bright rooms...
The woman looks very uncomfortable and worried.

What now? Do I wait for them to come and take me? Do I run?
No, I can't possibly run. We are all dependant on the drug.
If I stop taking it, the withdrawal effects will kill me.

But then it hits me. I'm deep inside the psychiatric facilities.
This is where they make the drug. It's in the room right in front of me.
If I had enough of it, could I slowly decrease my dosage over time?
But that would mean walking into the laboratory, past a hundred scientists,
take the drug, then run, get out of the building, and survive out there alone?
I don't even know what the situation outside is.

But suddenly it becomes clear. I am not me. I am not Hyu.
Right now I am another person. And this persons plan is to escape today.
Why else would I have a red music player with me?
Why else would I have walked deep into the psychiatric facilities?

"Yes."

You're always supposed to answer yes, in order to acknowledge what you have been told.
I gently push the woman aside and enter the laboratory.
The scientists all look at me. It is so easy to see that I don't belong here at all.
But they are afraid because this is not part of their daily routine.
They just resume their work.
I walk up to the conveyor belt where the finished drug arrives, neatly packaged into futuristic syringes with 100 shots each.

"HALT!"

Ah, the cavalry has finally arrived. Took them long enough.
About a dozen man in full, black, army gear, armed with assault rifles enter the laboratory from the opposite side.
Aren't they overreacting a little here?

"SLOWLY STEP AWAY FROM THE CONVEYOR BELT!"

I wonder what the odds would be to get out of here alive if I ran.
They are still rather far away. I don't think they have a clean shot from all the way over there.
But I don't think I could make it.
My mind is too clouded by the drugs.
I don't think I could improvise, heck I can't even remember how to run.

Oh! Of course! That's what the music player is for! Emotional stimuli!
I inspect the player more closely and find some earphones attached to it.
I put them on slowly. They don't react to it.
I hit play.



Not at all what I was expecting. But it will do.
I pick up one of the syringes.
Nope? Still nothing?
I calmly begin to walk back into the direction I came from.
They keep yelling at me to stop.
I increase the volume of my music. Problem solved.
I mean, what are they going to do? Shoot me?

Someone attempts to block my passage through the door leading back out of the laboratory.
I try to push him aside, but he won't let me...
I need to get out now, so I throw a punch in his general direction.
I end up hitting them in the nose. There's blood. Lots of it.
This time I manage to push him aside since he's in shock.

Holy shit! I just punched someone in the face!
The guards accelerate their pace. Time to run.
If I run continuously in the same direction, I'm bound to find an exit right?
I mean, how big can this building possibly be?
On the first corner I get rid of my shoes, because they slide way too easily on the polished floor.
My jacket and shirt quickly follow because they are horribly uncomfortable.
I feel like the guards are slowly catching up, but fortunately they're not using their weapons.

After a few minutes of running I feel extremely exhausted.
I am fairly certain that I have reached the end of the building now, but there is no door.
I run off to the left, alongside the outer wall.
There has to be an exit here somewhere... I hope.

Eventually I encounter some curtains and push through.
The building looks much more normal here. No shiny white floors anymore.

I spot a green fire escape sign. Colors! I suppose people are not supposed to come this far.
Finally a door that looks like it leads outside. Don't be closed...

I push it open. Fresh air. The sun.

A spot a ladder that leads down to the ground.
I'll have to climb over some railing to get to it.
But the guards catch up with me before I can do so.

"STOP RIGHT NOW!"

They could just drag me back inside now.
There's no longer a need for weapons in order to stop me.
But I know how to deal with this.
All I have to do is to point up.
I do this until everyone is looking up... at the blue sky.
That leaves them completely in shock and I climb down.

There's nothing really here, besides that ridiculously large building I was just in.
No sign of anybody else.
I just pick a direction at random and walk.
Nobody is going to come after me now.
I do realize that I'm most likely not going to make it.
I don't really have any survival skills.
But I don't mind, because right now I am more alive than anyone in there will ever be.

Trapped in a small gray chamber, about the size of an average living room, but made entirely of stone and metal. I look up and see that this room has no ceiling, but instead a giant shaft, hundreds of feet tall with an opening to the sky, presumably to let a little bit of light in, which it does. There is a wide passageway down some rubble to a dead end room about the same size of what I'm in, and another hallway on the opposite side. I look down that hallway to see if I can get out, but my view is blocked by a man in full medieval plate armor, carrying a medium length sword with a 3 inch wide blade. He roars at me, and charges. Terrified, I run the opposite direction, and am cornered in the dead end room. I face the man, just as he rams the sword through my chest. Leaving it in me for a few moments, he pulls it out, and I crumple to the ground. All I can see are his steel boots as he stands above me, watching me writhe in pain before I die.

Having died, I appear again in the same chamber. I look for how to get out, and see the swordsman again. Seems kind of familiar. I feel like he is hostile as he again starts to charge in my direction, so I run again. Cornered, I try to dodge his sword strikes, get a major cut in my shoulder, then am stabbed through my gut. It feels like being really sick with food poisoning, but combined with a lot of burning. I fold over forward and he cuts my head off.

Re-appearing in the same chamber as before, I wonder if I can get out this time. But quickly the swordsman appears again and chases me into the dead end. This time I attack him, but have no weapons other than my fists. I dodge his strike, and punch him in the metal face shield, breaking my fist on his helmet. Ignoring the pain, I punch him more, but he doesn't seem to be phased at all by this as he slashes me in the side. I go to block his second strike with my forearm, but his swing cuts clear through my arm, decapitating me.

Having just died, I find myself in the same room as before, but this time I remember the previous encounters and ready myself. I conclude that he will kill me no matter what I try, and there is no escape. He has been coming from a dead end hallway somehow, so there is no where to go. I think about how he's probably done nice things in the past, and bring to mind feelings of warmth and closeness to him, like he is my best friend from all time. I even wish for him and everyone to be happy. A blissful tingling feeling starts at the base of my spine, then rises to the top of my head, then back down, and out to my arms. It feels amazing, but I focus more on loving this swordsman than getting distracted by this feeling.

The swordsman approaches again, but this time I do not run. I stand and face him. I can't help but smile, happy to see him. He kneels down, lowers his sword, and rams it through my foot, the long way, all the way through, splitting my toes in half, cutting through the bone, and going all the way out the heel end of my foot. I am briefly distracted by the searing pain as I fall to the floor in front of him. Remembering my love from before, the pain disappears, but he quickly withdraws the sword and slays me once again. This time I wake up.

There are no cars on the road. In fact, it seems to be completely abandoned. A little ways ahead, I see a silver rainbow starting in a cloud, and ending right on the road, but with a more slide type shape to it, starting out shallow, steepening, then ending with a shallow slope. I approach it and watch a group of clouds peacefully drift up above. I teleport to one of the clouds that is about as big as me, and float in it for a little bit. Then I use it as a sort of raft, and ride it down the silver rainbow like a water slide. Some condensation from the cloud and the rainbow gets my face a little moist, and it feels rather cool, but the rush of air blowing past me as I slide down dries it just as fast as it gets me wet. I do this a few times, choosing different clouds for each go, just softly going for rides. At the bottom, the clouds float me back up to the top automatically.

Wandering around a busy party at someone's house, my friend and I sit down at a table. Someone brings us both a beer. After just half of it, I feel pretty tipsy and get up to walk around. Upstairs, I find the bathroom, but instead of a toilet, there is a large pond, with urine instead of water, and two people on hover crafts racing around a small island in the center. I relieve myself, and do my best not to pee on the hovercraft racers, even though they nearly splash me with urine as they zoom past.

I go back downstairs and see a strange looking animal outside. It has the body of a vicious wolf, but the legs of a gazelle, and it doesn't know how to use the legs very well. It is quite slow, and looks like it is going to fall over. I watch as it goes from house to house looking for scraps to eat. Touched by its predicament of not being able to find any food, I ask my friend if he has anything I can give it. He gives me a piece of his sandwich. I go outside, and walk right up to the wolf-gazelle (Gazzolf / Wolfzelle?) and poke it in the rear leg to get its attention. I practically shove the food in its face, then put the food down next to it before running back to safety. The Gazzolf beats me to the door, and begs for more food. Out of no where, I pull a massive pile of food out of nothing and give it to the Gazzolf who chows down happily.

Going back inside, I learn that my friend is the target of an assassination. I too am a potential target. He has taken off to safety, leaving me in his room where the assassins are approaching. I am given an optional task of securing files from his MP3 player by uploading them to a public server where everyone can access them, thereby protecting them from being destroyed. I just want to run, but feel that this would be very helpful. Even though I am unfamiliar with the software involved, I make it happen, focusing with all my might so I can get it done before the assassins get here. I notice a few suspicious characters that look like ninjas approaching from the fields outside, sneaking toward the house at a dead sprint.

Running out of the room, I sense someone is just about to break through the window. I close the door and run downstairs to find my friend armed with a gun, pointing it right at me. I tell him I'll help him, and not to shoot me. Walking around the corner, I see a ninja, so I telepathically tell my friend, "There's one around the corner to your right." As the ninja turns the corner, my friend pre-fires him, shooting him immediately. I check out another nearby room and see another ninja, so I again tell my friend telepathically, "Behind you, another one with two swords." My friend again turns and shoots him before the ninja gets a chance to surprise him.

September 14, 2014

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I don't remember much before becoming lucid... I was in a room with no doors and no windows, with walls so tall I almost couldn't see the top. There were drawers all over the walls... I realized this was odd, and looked down at my hands to find that I was dreaming!


I looked around, wondering whether to try to fly out of this room or not. I remembered the Patronus TOTM, and thought, I've been so excited to try this one...!! I looked around, smiling. First, I need a magic wand!

I went to one of the many drawers in the wall and put my hand on the handle, thinking about my need for a magic wand, and that there was probably one in this drawer. I opened it slowly, and pulled out a blue and purple vibrating dildo.

I was laughing so hard I completely lost all control and woke up.

I am a small duck dressed in a trench coat and sunglasses. I am a bounty hunter, and am after some guys hanging out inside a night club. It is daytime outside My awareness is positioned outside of my body. I enter the club, and exit carrying some stuff I stole from them. I then get into the car I own in WL, where my awareness now enters my body. I am trying to back up, when one of the thugs moves his car to box me in. I turn the wheel hard, ride up and over the car beside me (not possible at all in WL) and in the process, tear the head off of a thug who was trying to climb in through the back window.

I become lucid, as this is ridiculous and could never happen in real life. I continue driving my car down the street. I am now driving down some hallways (almost like I am in the back of a kitchen or something) and I realize the car is gone. I think to myself, Oh, I'm running now but then have a flash of insight--I'm not doing anything--I'm lying in bed. I also realize I have no body and really haven't had one for quite some time. Furthermore, as I am dreaming, there is really no reason to get a body anyway.

At this point, I decide to test my bodiless-ness and pass through a set of push doors. I bang my forehead against the door, and then just raise my hand and open it! I remember my discussion with dutchraptor and Sensei about pain in dreams, and realize that--as usual--I do not feel any pain from knocking myself in a dream.

I reach an open area, where I am looking down at a helipad. The helipad is about forty or fifty feet below me, and there are numerous helicopters on the ground, propellers spinning. I think that I might jump down into one of the propellors, but then change my mind, as I really have no wish to test being chopped up (dang it!). Instead, I decide to use this high point as a jump off for flying. I leap into the air, but just fall (very swiftly) to the ground. I hit the ground and then fall down on my butt.

I now stand up, look around, and just lift into the air. I fly higher and higher, really not even trying now to do anything, and travel perhaps several hundred feet into the air (that's advanced, right!? ). I then look around, and my body begins to fall. I am momentarily scared, but then remember that I'm not really doing anything, nothing is happening, and there is nothing at all to worry about. I relax, and just hang in mid-air. I then accelerate upwards again. As I am thinking these things, I realize my body is moving of its own accord, flying this way and that. I think this is kind of neat and just observe my body flying. I then relax again, and I this must trigger something with my WL body because I wake up.

On a side note, this dream has caused me to think more about meditation in dream, and has prompted me to concentrate more on my daily practice of sitting, as well as begin to integrate sitting more into my dream practice.