memorable

Date of Dream: TUE 28 JUL - 2020



Dream No. 699 - Separated Sections

Dream 699 A - In Order To Sit The Exam
I don’t remember much about this dream. To me, it only felt like a very short scene and that was it. In my voice, the dream was saying to me that in order to be able to sit the exam, Riku needed to sign some sort of form. A sub-scene then showed Riku (KH3 appearance) standing in the dining room of my old house while he was signing something, but the dream didn’t show what he was signing.

Dream 699 B - Kneading Pizza Dough
I don’t remember how this dream started. From where I can remember, I was in my garage and I was trying to kneed this pizza dough, that was sitting in a plastic box, into a specific shape. However, the pizza dough became extremely hard and so I had an extremely hard time kneading it. I heard that I should have started kneading it earlier when it was just freshly combined; apparently exposure to the surrounding air was making it hard.

I looked up and my grandma as well as some of her friends and other members of my family were sitting at the edges of the garage. They were encouraging me but it seemed ‘torturous’ in a way, like they were making cute faces at me as if I was a kid and I grimaced at this. I then still wondered why the pizza dough was so hard to knead. As I squashed it together, all these Kingdom Hearts figurines suddenly came flying out of it and landed in pieces on the window sill.

I went over to examine the figurines and make sure they weren’t broken in any way. The figurine at the front was Riku and he looked fine. I then saw other characters like Terra, Aqua and Kairi in the back ground. I then went over to Roxas, this set of figurines having ‘stick’ legs. Roxas’ current pose was a sitting one, but I could not get him to sit properly on the window sill. So I ended up detaching Roxas’ current legs and changed them over so that he could stand. He ended up successfully standing.

I then went back to the dough in the box and suddenly it was easier to knead, either that or I seemed to apply more force this time around. The box also seemed to fill up with a tomato-based pasta sauce. Somehow, the dough broke into small pieces and went amongst the sauce, and then I got in and ended up bathing in the mixture. I can’t remember anything else about this dream.

Dream 699 C - The Disney Stairs
I don’t remember how this dream started. From where I do remember, I was at a shopping centre that felt like a cross between Dandenong Plaza and The Glen, but was identified to be Dandenong Plaza. On Level 3, I came across AD and she just seemed to plainly ignore me as we passed each other. Further up the corridor, I discovered that there was this huge attraction in Target called ‘The Disney Stairs’, which I had to go and check out.

So I took the escalators down to level 1 where Target would supposedly be, but apparently I wasn’t there yet. I wondered where ‘The Disney Stairs’ was and soon, I saw a sign saying ‘To Disney Stairs’ with an arrow on it. I grew worry as I thought it was an elevator going down, but eventually, I see all these people going down a narrow, weirdly formed escalator. I wondered why it was formed the way it was and someone said to me that it was good practise for the actual ‘Disney Stairs’. The escalator was moving terribly fast and the steps were very narrow, so I had step on at the right time or I’d fall. I thought Target would be 1 basement level below, whereas we actually went down many ‘mysterious levels’ to eventually end up in Target.

We approached the ‘Disney Stairs’ scene which was actually a Christmas set-up which looked more miraculous than any one I had ever seen in real life; it was a corridor full of ‘Christmas’ leading to an unknown journey path. Mickey was at the front of it and seemed to be the curator for this event. There were twelve of us and so he told us that we’d be in three teams of four; blue, red and white.

Mickey then told people to start coming up but they all hesitated so I decided to go up first. As I approached Mickey, I realised Santa standing just inside the corridor, which was actually Riku dressed in a Santa suit! Mickey said to me, “And I see you have a special relationship with Santa”, which proved further that this was actually Riku. Whereas the rest of my teammates were going to get a plain white robe, I got this elegant cream coloured robe with dark teal patches on it and fine beading; as if it cost $500 to make or buy. Just as I was about to go over to Santa to start the adventure and potentially be greeted with a hug, I woke up.



Dream 699 A
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Dream 699 B
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Dream 699 C
Dream Guide: Riku
Lucid?: No



The exam is the IRL response I will be writing to Kingdom Hearts (imaginatively) once all 7 dream tasks are completed.

Date of Dream: MON 27 JUL - 2020

Warning! Depending on the reader's judgement; Dream 698 A may make mentions of mature content such as sex and/rape. Please avoid reading if this ought to make you feel comfortable or you are Under 18. The dream character expressing the concerning content is 'Nathan'.



Dream No. 698 - Separated Sections

Dream 698 A - A Boy With Big Problems
I don’t remember how this dream started. From where I do remember, I was in the hills, in one the supermarket, when I ran into a couple of girls currently attending my old high school, wearing their PE uniforms. However, it like the girls recognised me and were really happy to see me. One of the girls told me that it was ‘Wellness Wednesday for them’ and this is why there were at the shops. It was eventually that I saw some girls in the academic summer uniforms; but then what I saw next shocked me; a couple of boys in summer uniform. Since when was this a co-ed school?

There was one boy that really caught my attention though, and this was for the wrong reasons. Just by looking at him, I could tell that he had violent tendencies and therefore huge mental problems. I found out that his name was Nathan. It wasn’t very long though before he started acting up towards me and that he actually wanted me for his own ‘desires’ as it were. I tried to get away from him, but he was really forceful and would actually be really violent to me if I tried to leave; so I was basically trapped.

The dream no longer played in the supermarket, but Nathan seemed to be a consistent theme in all the scenes. However, to my relief though, my dream guides seemed to know what was going as Dreamy WB walked into the scene to try and get Nathan off me. She managed to provide a distraction and told me to led me to wait in the ‘staff room’ of the complex. For a while, I was just dawdling in there until someone came into the room and told me to get out. I did, thinking that Nathan was finally dealt with.

Though as soon as Dreamy WB had gone, Nathan came back and was threatening himself on me again. I needed to act fast and decided to call for a male dream guide to see if they would yield a better result. I decided to call for Riku and somehow managed to summon him without Nathan detecting me. What was even more satisfying is that Riku had walked into the scene (KH3 appearance) and Nathan didn’t even suspect that Riku was there for me.

Riku came and sat on the ground, prompting me to sit down in-front of him. However, I thought that in the current position, Nathan would be able to whisk me away and use me. So I asked Riku to bend his knees out slightly so I could go back in towards him a bit more. I ended up lying down with my head on Riku’s lap as he then looked up and started to speak to Nathan. Despite the severity of Nathan’s actions towards me and his obvious mental illness; Riku didn’t raise his voice to Nathan at all or even insinuate that he had a problem. It’s like Riku knew not to flare Nathan up or that’s when Nathan would become uncontrollable and bad things would happen.

Riku actually simply smiled at Nathan, connecting with him like a friend, and said to him, something like, “I think you should go and see Mickey. It’d be good for you”. And to my surprise, Nathan left the scene on his own and did not come back this time. I also knew what Riku was really doing. It was Mickey that was going to give Nathan a good roasting; Riku basically insinuated, in a disguised manner, to Nathan, that he had problems and needed counselling. I can’t remember anything else about this dream.

Dream 698 B - Dirty Bathers
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, family friend couple EW and JW were at the beach and apparently they were recalling a phone call that they had gotten from my mum, asking them to wash my sandy bathers while they were at the beach. The wife JW had taken my cobalt coloured bikinis and held them over the water, waiting for the waves to wash over them ten times. Meanwhile, EW and their baby were standing on the sand, listening as JW counted the number of times the waves had washed over the bathers.

As soon as JW said ten, she stepped back from the ocean and went back to EW and XW. EW had pulled his phone in order to film proof for my mum that the bathers had been washed. However, as EW was filming and JW was now holding XW and my bathers, XW took a swipe at the bathers and they immediately fell on the sand, taking the family back to square 1. I can’t remember anything else about this dream.



Dream 698 A
Dream Guide: Dreamy WB & Riku
Lucid?: No

Dream 698 B
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Jamie 1

Just a flash of her putting a parcel together. Is she going to send me something?

Jamie 2

Being on a street during the day with jamie and she is being distant saying she is looking for another boyfriend... Wait I thought she wanted to get married. I'm still waiting, pining and hoping. But she doesn't reach out to me at all.... If I wing up marrying someone else, it's because I had to settle for someone else under duress... anyway i see she is on a dating website. She then messages me through the site saying "LUV U!!!" I swear at times she is two separate people...

I'm still waiting for that message for real tho.

I tried to write this dream down in a false awakening, but suddenly my equipment turned into items to dispense and serve sweet cherry wine for the movie's premiere. As a result, I feel like a good chunk of the movie's plot was lost in me trying to record it.

The film started with a live action component, that I vaguely recall starring Will Smih. I think he was trying to break into the disney vaults in the manner of a heist movie, but suddenly, he gets stopped my Deadpool (specifically the Ryan Reynolds one), and probably killed. Deadpool goes to talk to the audience, which ends up in a theatrical segment that took place in the movie theater, where a guy in a deadpool suit ran around the movie theater. He works the classic Marvel/DC rivalry by commenting on the flaws of the various DC Universe cast. Anothe theatrical segment, and the movie theater's side doors open up to reveal two podiums/pillars, one green, and one red. Deadpool then goes on to talk about "the greatest simp in animation history" and talks a little about who it might be. But he leaves the audience to guess, saying "I'll be making donuts in the car park, which kind? You'll never know. Hopefully it's gonna be christopher robin,"

The movie then shows a title card of two ambiguous faces with, "The Simps" as the main title. We then transition to a reading of a Winnie the Pooh story book that appears to be a crossover with other Disney properties and the themes from them, occasionally one would get commentary from Deadpool regarding the characters, as well.
The overall plot of the segment was that the disney Winnie the Pooh characters had crossed their paths with mickey mouse's friends, and they were traveling the continent, trying to keep people from obtaining this crystal. By this point, Christopher Robin had fully grown up,and was still reluctantly leading most of the stuffed animals in the quest. Occasionally, the story would transition verbatim to a narrated storybook format, and my general impression of the tone of the movie was that it was like a more adult version of an older disney film targeted at kids. The characters also seemed to know what was going to happen at certain points, as if this segment was a reanimated version of a pre-existing film that the characters somehow knew about. The steampunk-y aesthetic was similar to some of Disney's later attempts at animated movies. Unfortunately, a lot of the film's dialogue cannot be remembered upon waking up, so I guess it's an odd form of lost media.

After a while, a subplot emerged about a rival to Christopher Robin who acted like a stereoptyical Disney villain I think he also wanted the item that the main team had, and had evil doppelgangers of the rest of the main Winnie the Pooh cast, one line of dialogue from rabbit I remember was, "Why, I can't tell us apart!". Also at one point in the narrative, Eeyore kinda just showed up and didn't say anything, which was probably meant to be comical within the context of the film.

After the whole "Simp" segment, there was a dark-ride-style tour through the disney vaults, as different clips for the Disney animated films played out in 3D, as if they were being filmed.

Another lucid dream!!!
(I'm not sure if this part came before or after I got lucid, but I doubt I was lucid)
I have something to do with Buffy the vampire slayer. I seem to just follow the team she has around. I don't remember what they did, or if they even did it. The scene just might have jumped. Anyway, I see the team gathered around Buffy, and Buffy simply said "Goodbye" or something like that, and everyone else replied "Goodbye" back to her, and the group went home. Buffy stood there for a bit, and I walked by her and said "Bye Buffy". I then thought that I like these "interactive movies" in which you are in the movie and seemingly just follow the protagonist. I then went into a sort of dance club for some reason. In the dream it was supposed to be the same club the characters always go to, but in the dream it was really, really tiny and only few people were in it, as opposed to in the series. I didn't like it there, so I left.

Then I was at a shopping district relatively close to my home. I suddenly had the thought "What if I am dreaming?", and thus I tried the nose plug reality check. As expected, I breathed through my closed nose, and I was lucid. Then the scene changed to my room. I then wanted to do something, but remembered dream stabilization techniques. So I rubbed my hands together for a bit, then I held them up in front of my face and inspected them. The dream was then like real life. There was someone there with me, and there was someone coming that wanted to kill us. For some reason, I really wasn't there emotionally. I was quite calm, trying to summon a weapon by having it appear in my hands, but I only got these really weird ammunition related things on beside which were some sort of ammo display, which I had no use for. I tried a few more times, and every time until the last one only got these strange ammo related things, but in the end I got a small hand burner, and decided to try and protect ourselves from the guy that wanted to kill us. I ran to the guy. He was some really tough motorcycle gang type guy. I tried burning his throat, but he didn't care. He just said something mocking I don't remember. So I ran back into the room and the guy I was with got killed by being shot. Strangely, the attacker wasn't close enough yet. He might also have been shot at the beginning already. Well, I stopped caring and tried to do shapeshifting stuff. I did the thing a shapeshifting tutorial says: I made another finger so that I could feel what it is like to have extra limbs. So I made another finger on the left of the pinky finger of my left or right hand, I'm not sure. I tried moving it and it worked, but it was connected to the pinky and ring finger, like the ring finger is connected to the pinky: they moved all at once. It frustrated me for some reason and I thought that it'd be better if I made it on the other side of the hand. It also seems like my hand was mirror inverted. I pushed the other finger back into my hand, but it didn't quite want to disappear, so I slapped it in and it made the Minecraft effect as if it died, and it was gone. I then forgot that I wanted to try and make more fingers. I then tried making two more legs, starting from my lower back. It worked a bit, but they seemed to disappear quickly, and they had barely any sensation. I didn't even see them. The little sensation my legs had reminded me of horses. I then decided that I want to leave the room, so I wanted to imagine a large black box that would've stood behind me with a button that would've brought me away, but I woke up and forgot about DEILD and only have a digital way of writing down my dreams, so I woke up completely and took my laptop to write this.

---

I am happy that I suddenly have lucid dreams. I am a bit sad that I was not really there with my mind, that I didn't really have emotion and also keep forgetting things, and that I can't manage to notice when the dream is falling apart so that I can stabilize it again. But I am happy I had a lucid dream at all, especially since I had one just yesterday.

Thursday, 8/6/20, Core2


False awakening. I heard my alarm going off but something made me suspect I was dreaming and that the alarm was just part of the dream so I didn't hurry to turn it off. I was laying in bed and not moving easily. A finger count reality check confirmed I had too many fingers but for some reason I still wasn't 100% certain I was really dreaming. I thought about rolling "out of my body" and flying but I was reluctant to fling myself out of bed if I turned out to be awake (it's not close to the floor). What can I do that would be easier? I wondered. I tried to affect my environment. The sound of the alarm faded in and out with my focused thought, then I made it go silent. The entire visual of my room faded as well. Oops. I rolled out of bed and floated to the floor, having now convinced myself I was in a dream and that I needed to stabilize it.

A lapse in consciousness as everything faded to black briefly. I found myself standing in the upstairs bathroom. Wait a minute, I thought after a few seconds, How did I get here? Am I still dreaming? I counted my fingers; seven, eight. It was very strange because my hands looked so normal even when I stared directly at them. I checked a couple more times just to convince myself once again. I was looking around me in amazement because everything was so realistic, an exact replica of my waking life bathroom. Clearer, even. I stared at and felt the bumps on the wall, saw how light reflected off the semi gloss, mint green paint. I decided to go downstairs to look around some more. I hope I'm not just awake and really sleep deprived. I thought idly, Otherwise people are going to think I've really lost it, staring at the walls and talking about how amazing they are.

As I walked down the stairs, I pulled at my hand, trying to see if I could morph it. I did, slightly. The weighting of gravity felt so realistic as well that I wondered if I would be able to fly in this dream since it felt like it would be difficult. I tested it by jumping off a few stairs and confirmed I could float. It felt stranger than usual in this environment. I reached the kitchen where my mom was doing dishes. "Hey Mom," I said, "This is a dream."

"Oh, yeah?" she said.

"Yeah." I thought of what I wanted to do with my lucidity. "Do you want me to show you how to fly?" I asked her.

"No that's okay, I already know how to do that. I've done enough of that lately." She went back to doing dishes. I was somewhat mystified by this decision.

"Oh, okay." I wanted to go out back so I started looking around for the nearest exit. I went and opened the front door. "Well, see you later." I added. Wait, why am I looking for a door to go all the way around? I could just take a straight shot through the kitchen wall. I changed course and flew at the wall. I can't believe some people get stuck in walls, it's never happened to me. All you have to do is not think about it. So then, of course, it happened to me. I got stuck in the wall halfway through. It felt like I was moving through molasses and everything went dark for a couple seconds. Then I could see an extremely vague back yard scene. I focused on a point relatively far away - since the closer focal points weren't yielding results - and I set a strong intention to go there directly. I essentially teleported to the intended spot and the scene became vivid and clear once again.

I flew above my yard, which was roughly accurate to waking life but much bigger. I spotted my late cat Pascal, a fluffy, 24-pound Maine Coon, laying in the yard just past the redwood tree. He was staring up at me. I flew lower and slowed, with a bit of difficulty controlling my height and speed initially. "I don't regret any of it!" I announced to him out of nowhere once I landed in front of him. "Well, except I wish we'd realized how sick you were sooner so you didn't have to go like that. We wanted to be there." I knelt down next to my cat and pet him, talking to him about our time together when he was alive, telling him how much I loved him, and pulling twigs and leaves out of his fur. He just continued staring at me with big eyes and purring, though I got the sense he was listening. The dream lapsed into a non-lucid.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

Definitely one of my clearest LDs, and a really euphoric feeling to see Pascal again. I loved that cat so much. When he was old and sick, he started having trouble breathing and we rushed him to the vet and said yes when they asked if we wanted them to do a procedure to try to save him. He died on the operating table and I really regretted not being with him at the end. In hindsight we didn't recognize how close he was to going so we weren't prepared to let him go and also didn't have time to think it through fully during the emergency. I was determined not to repeat that mistake, and I didn't the next time one of our elderly cats, Talis, no longer had quality of life. It was very tough to make that decision and to find the right balance, but I know that in that case Talis' needs came first. Anyway, it was still good to finally get to tell Pascal how I felt and how much I loved him, even if it was just in a dream.

Semi-lucidity! Trying shapeshifting.
In the beginning there was some sort of scary things, it was like a catalog of drugs that make your dreams insane with illustrations of what you could see, most notably a drug that is some sort of mineral which looks like some really demonic face with a mouth stretched down for meters, an unhealthy reddish skin and dead white eyes, and it made you see faces like that in your dream. Then it was somewhat about Subnautica. But then I was at home and suddenly I had a small amount of heightened awareness that it might be a dream. Then there was a sort of puppet but it was alive and I brought it into a room and closed the door to protect us from something. We went outside again and there were intimidating people and it was also like I read something bad about them. They said something I don't remember. I went past them and at the window were also some intimidating people I couldn't get past. I went back to the room.

I don't remember the part right before it, but I knew I was dreaming and did multiple reality checks and they all told me I was in a dream, so, now aware, I thought of something to do. The dream was very unclear and I totally forgot about stabilizing, but didn't even notice, so this was at most semi-lucid. I went to a mirror and tried transforming into a dragon. I didn't manage to do it at all since I hadn't at all had a visualization of the dragon I'd want to transform in. I tried doing it by looking to the mirror and back once I had an idea of what I wanted. As it didn't work after multiple attempts I just tried a tail at first, and that worked... somewhat. I didn't really take the right idea at all from the beginning anyway. The tail was there, but it was numb and had no feeling. And it was green, and I wanted it blue, so I just looked away and back again, and there it was blue. Then I just sort of gave up. I went away to see if I could manage to breathe fire at the people I couldn't get past, but I just forgot about it and tried to do something else. At some point I lost lucidity somewhat and slightly fell back into the plot about these demonic faces. Then I got excited over something and I woke up quite a lot. I then remembered the shapeshifting tutorial, and I wanted to do it. I remembered dream chaining, laid completely still, aaaaanddd... my parents managed to wake me up on accident.

---

Glad to know my practice is working. Not sure what to improve for next time, though. Maybe I should just continue as usual with my practice.

A meeting with my manipulative friend fragment
My father has already opened the door after the doorbell rang and my manipulative friend is there and I quickly put a sentence together. The sentence might be an apology to him, something I am trying to prevent myself doing.

Finding treasure in my house
I and my father helped some dangerous looking guy with dark skin. He sort of reminds of some guy I knew once, Darren. He wants to find some sort of treasure. At some point he might have had other people helping him, but in the end he was alone with us. The house was somewhat weirdly structured. We were searching around the door to the garden. There is lots of things on the wall you could climb on, and lots you could miss. In the end he finds it and tells us to leave. But I sort of knock him out and find it as well but he woke up again and I run up the stairs towards home. Then one of his partners comes along and says something along the lines of "What do you think you're doing up here, hm?" but I say something like "Of course I can be here, I live up here!" and they say something like "Yeah yeah..." and leave, going down quickly. And then I hear my father talking to the guy from the beginning to distract him so that I can get the treasure. But I notice that the guy would be facing me and that he might notice me anyway because he could hear me so I didn't take the chance. Then I went outside and then ran in and just tried to get the treasure, but he stopped me. I thought about saying that he'd get half, but I didn't know how much the treasure even was worth. I also thought about just knocking him out again, but I thought I wouldn't be strong enough.

---

This was after multiple MILD attempts. I woke up multiple times throughout the night and tried to do a MILD nearly every time. Because I woke up often, there were probably some WBTBs.

4th August 2020 ~11:30

Dream:

Near the end of a stupidly long non-lucid part; I was falling through a pipe, I was with a squad to take something out in a facility. But then as I was falling, everything seemed still.

I was in a void of sorts and time seemed to pass slower, the others were still here with me. It felt like being in water, and there was a similar visual effect. The squad leader, turned to me and said "you must pick the right one this time!" and I suddenly saw a vision of who to pick.

Then I was in a room. There were three guardians and some other characters. I picked the one from my vision. It was true that it was the start of a cycle that I was now breaking, at the start of this long non-lucid part I was in a very similar situation.

But this time I had picked "correctly". As a result, my consciousness shifted, I was now the guardian I'd picked. I noticed my hands, I had three fingers and one thumb. I became lucid but it came slowly, not like in the past.

There was no "aha!" moment or sudden shift. I realised I was in a version of my mom's first office room. The characters were gone, I think; and to confirm my lucidity further I grabbed a metal shelving unit in the room and threw it through a wall, fully expecting it to go through as if it were a ghost, and it did!

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, since I hadn't fully expect to be lucid. I decided to indulge in one of my fantasies and decided to become a giant anthropomorphic lizard. It sort of worked... I saw myself in third person, wearing a labcoat (my artificial dream sign) as an anthro lizard. But I wanted to be myself in first person, I get tired of seeing things in third person in dreams and so I willed it and then was myself as the lizard. I looked down and saw the city-sprawl below me. I had reptilian-like feet with claws and I could see I had an emerald green skin but it was not as dark as I wanted. I tried to give myself different sexual features but it didn't work either.

I was happy enough the transformation worked in the basic sense in any case and started to have some fun by putting myself against the ground and sort of rubbing along it for lack of better words. I paused and checked my hands again, just having a good look at them. They were hardly as scaly as I'd expected and this felt disappointing but I carried on. I remember noticing the atmosphere effect but oddly enough when I was standing I didn't notice the curvature effect of the planet. I was big enough that I should have been able to notice it.

While the terrain did get sort of crunched/destroyed/etc by whatever I did, I wasn't able to see the cities in any great amount of detail and could not notice any mountains either. I was too big I suppose. I could feel my tail at several points but overall the feel of my body was mostly whole/complete.

Spoiler for Self-indulged arousal:

Still, I let myself get aroused by my fantasy and didn't try to change this fact and eventually just started pleasuring myself. Somehow it didn't take much to get to orgasm and it was very oddly and easily controlled, even though its effect was not quite what I'd expect. The physical sensations were mostly accurate and I enjoyed controlling them.

After this self-indulging, I realised the city/landscape I'd been having fun on and with was really just a square section in a rather large room. At the edges, the atmosphere effect sort of cut off, it was interesting.

I was standing up and looked around the room for the first time; lots of metal pipes and dark metal things, like grates and slits where some natural light came through from. It had an extremely industrial look. As I looked around I still felt that I was very big, but the room's scale made me feel smaller in a sense, despite how much room I took.

My lucidity was fading a little and I'd become a bit bored, I didn't expect to end my fantasy so soon but this was obviously the result of not pre-planning any of this. I saw a character less than half my size, by a sewer-tunnel looking bit. I approached, I asked him "Who are you?", quite curious about this metal-flesh sort of monster, the look only describable as being drawn from many such archetypes.

He gave me a reply veiled in mystery, that I cannot recall anymore, but he did not answer my question in its most basic form and I didn't think of asking again. I got bored of him and decided he was quoting from something, but I forget what he was saying, unfortunately.

I looked around again. This felt so different from my previous lucid experiences. I was calm, and it didn't take much effort to be calm; the dream was far less vivid and detailed than other lucids and indeed even less than some non-lucids, but I appreciated this moment. I enjoyed not feeling my daily pain.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard a deep echoing voice. It told me "You must kill your brother, remember?". Some less conscious part of me, replied automatically "I know, I know! But not now." Before I could add anything of my own will, the voice spoke again to the effect of "Very well, he shall be kept alive for now." The voice faded completely and I simply finished by again automatically saying "Good."

I didn't appreciate this family-related intrusion into my lucidity but realised it was from a deeper part and so didn't really wish to alter it.

My lucidity may have been fading again but I decided to simply explore these strange halls, carelessly stepping over that square world I'd been playing with earlier and heading for a doorway on the opposite corner from where I was. There were many artificial warm light accents around the metal halls. I eventually found myself on a gantry bit and there were random people both there and on a lower tier. I played around with some telekinesis on some red and blue barrels, trying to lob them but doing so poorly at first. I started to gain a more intuitive understanding as I did it but it did not feel as "mentally driven" as I'd expected, having to move my hands a fair bit.

My form had been consistent through my lucidity, I still had reptilian traits and my hands were clawed now, I recall. A random human character next to me looked up to me and said "Don't throw them with your arms like a real barrel." Or something like that. I understood from this to use hand motions more. I tried lifting a barrel and pulling it toward me, having done so too much and then pushing it forward a little more with some related hand motions.

I tried to hit a person in the lower tier with the barrel but it didn't quite work or something. Then I went down some stairs. I was in a mall area and my lucidity was fading but not gone. A dream character was upset with me, he was some manager for the mall. "You're ruining everything with your lucidity!" He said, or something.

He was extremely upset that I was doing whatever I pleased. There was a woman nearby I'd somehow gotten fired or something (but she was all the more happy about it) and the man became angry and he wanted to have a serious go at me now. But I somehow just turned it against him, kind of willing some help from the woman and she automatically started defending me, distracting the manager man. I was no longer lucid at this point and had been letting myself go along with the dream too much. Eventually I just woke up.

---

Edit:

Spoiler for Notes (in spoiler due to their length):

- Because I wasn't expecting to have a lucid dream so spontaneously, the whole journey through lucidity felt a little bit premature even as I was dreaming; part of my reason for continuing to do checks even while lucid was because I was having trouble believing I was indeed lucid but with such a different (lower) vividness compared to previous experiences. Ideally I need to create some scripts for "episodes" of what I'd like to do in future lucid dreams.

- The most prominent sub-conscious threshold crossing was definitely the part with the echoing voice. I felt myself speak in reply in a way I've never really felt myself speak before, where the feeling of what I was saying wasn't "mine" in the sense of my lucid awareness. The voice referred to the death of one of my older siblings (T); this has a context as far as I can tell, as I used to have dreams both about T dying and about me murdering him, when I was much younger, in my early teens I think. I have of course thought about those old dreams many times, but they had not recently been consciously present in my mind, so this experience was really quite interesting, but I am not too interested in putting any special meaning into it for the time being; I would rather let it manifest itself (the voice or context) again in the future and simply see where it wants to go.

- In the dream I did not appreciate this intrusion mostly because I prefer to keep family-related thoughts separate from personal indulgences and so on, in good part because of personal experience in waking life of finding it annoying. On the other hand, I did not wish to dismiss anything forcibly since I know that can be counter-productive and in all likelihood may just work against my lucidity. In the future I will remain more open to such intrusions and try to explore them to know if there is something "resolvable" within their contexts.

- The fact that my dream self after the transformation was wearing a labcoat was interesting, because I had not lucidly suggested this and when I took over into first person of my dream self once again, I was no longer wearing it. I take this mostly as a sign that my artificial introduction of it as a dream sign has become somewhat successful.

- I expect that part of the low detail of the (comparatively) smaller landscape and cities was due to both the fact I'd somehow made myself marginally "too big" but also due to the fact that it was a spontaneous decision, not allowing me to really try and imagine the detail as required. I have seen enough birds' eye points of views that my dream mind should be able to simulate the perspective correctly; it was mostly as though the details were blurred and unclear, rather than missing or incorrect.

- This lucid experience was radically different in feel due to the decreased vividness compared to previous ones, but what really felt different was just the sense of calm and serenity of my mind. Although I can't say I was thinking completely clearly, I was also able to appreciate the nuances of being conscious in the dream world in a way I simply haven't had time to do so in the previous experiences; by comparison, they had all felt extremely rushy.

- During the experience I completely forgot my long-standing desire to look for the blue-eyed black lizard, something else I should include in my "scripts".

- While I have been more mindful throughout the day to do RCs more often, I don't believe this was the sole cause but a factor in what promoted lucidity's occurrence. There are several things I need to point out to myself here:
-- This dream effectively came about as a WBTB, because after my first waking at 8:30 or so, I had gotten up, had passing thoughts about WBTB and as I got back in bed reminded myself that I was capable of lucid dreaming, I had done it before.
-- I am again on a combination of medication that helps my sleep be more restful compared to its native state.
-- On top of that, I started taking the B vitamin complex too, which has certainly made changes to my dreaming experience, and to a much greater degree than I'd imagined it ever would, if at all.

Me and my cats running from demons at school
Someone I don't remember has brought me to school, and I trust him but he's involved in some magic ordeal. He might have
brought me there since he thinks I'll be safe there for a while. I am supposed to do my homework, which I do. I also seem to
have brought my cats and am supposed to take care of one other cat which I don't know. They all just jump on the window
sill and watch the outside world as I continue to do work. But then there is something, I think it's an animal which is
possessed, suddenly starts banging on the window, slowly breaking it, but for a few seconds I don't really notice. But then I
do notice and quickly push the cats off the sill and tell them to follow me, which, surprisingly, works on all of them. I run into
the wrong direction, and then quickly turn around. I push the cats a little to hurry them and run out the door into some sort
of teacher hall. It's only about 3-5 meters long and there's a room at the end and on both sides, both right in the middle of
the two side walls. A woman comes up to me and looks at me with a confused expression. Suddenly the plot changes a bit, and I simply don't know where I have to be, but I am still running from a demon. She says that she doesn't know, in a sort of "You should know that yourself..." undertone.

---

I just noticed that I have a recall streak, which is pretty cool.
The school is also a recurring location. I'm excited to map it out once I get to have consistent lucids.

Interruption to the DJ catch up to put one from the past night. Some particularly detailed dreams, but I ended up having so much initial recall of so many dreams that in the end I let go of many and only made notes of a couple. Of note is the fact that last night I took for the first time a multi-vitamin B complex. It somehow did increase dream vividness far beyond what I expected.

---

2nd August 2020

Dream:

In space. In a game like Freelancer, flying a ship with a similar camera view as the game would have. I am on a server and I interact with some other people, but it's a small and private server.

I remember at some point discussing something with someone and then bringing up a list looking at all the potential guns and turrets there were. There were Nomad weapons that went by names such as "Redeemer" and came in three different marks. I remember thinking that it was silly to call it redeemer because there should be a Class Ten weapon using that as an acronym. The turrets list was like a "give mode" menu too, but I didn't have access to that function.

Everything was so detailed, I remember asteroids and distant nebulas and overall the sense of scale was just about right. I'm not sure I flew with a specific aim in mind but I found a Klingon wreckage of a Warbird or something. I shot its turrets so that I could loot them, and I wanted to do so quickly so that someone else couldn't interrupt me or steal them from me.

Then very close by was a station where I landed my ship. I got out but don't remember doing so physically, and then was inside the station. It was like a hospital mixed a bit with an office, and now the server people were here with me as a group? But something has a Farscape feel to it. Seems poorly lit or dark, but visibility is OK.

I forget some details but eventually H is with me at some point and we are waiting at the end of some hall. There are other people here, just sitting on some kind of benches, all waiting same as us. It was like a lobby? The light here mostly comes from the floor, a bit blue-ish, not even just a cold light, actually blue-ish. There are some commercial type fridges with the metal framed glass doors and they have cans of drink in them and I open one of them behind someone and fiddle with or organise some cans.

Then eventually we go through a doorway. We're outside, it's day time, slightly cloudy but bright though I didn't notice shadows properly and we are visiting a church here to do some work. The transition into this area was perfectly seamless.

The church was unusual, it was very open and seemed to be in the ruins of a massive old cathedral, some parts more ruined than others. But overall there was no "ceiling" to speak of and it was an open church. I could hear the wind and the leaves of tall trees surrounding the area, I could hear this very clearly in the dream.

The floor was all just grassy turf and there was no flooring really, but there were brand new things and some old things here in the main congregation area of this new church. There was a wooden house of some kind, which was full-size and looked just like the typical thing seen in a nativity, just bigger effectively.

But two kids were following us, they seemed curious. Though I got the feeling from H it'd be better if they weren't following us, so as we approached a wall panel between some old pillars, we went behind a wooden carved statue of Jesus. The statue featured prominently the colours red and blue on the clothing, and His hair was curly and dark, as was His beard. He did have a crown of thorns, too. The colours seemed a bit worn but probably better than could be expected for something out here in the elements.

Anyway, H pushed some panel behind the statue and we went through and it shut. Though the structure was very open, this didn't really limit the kids following us, but it made it more difficult; H then went around more sneakily trying to just get past them or spook them or something. Either way, the whole time H seemed to know what he was doing and I just followed his lead as with any normal job.

One of the kids was gone at this point, but the other one remained and followed more closely now; his father or grandfather appeared and was trying to convince him to go back with him, but the child seemed insistent in following us and seeing what we were doing. The man apologised for the behaviour, clearly nervous and feeling a bit foolish in some sense. I did not mind him or the kid so much at this point.

Eventually we are on a rooftop part of the old cathedral building. It's high, but not as high as it would have been on top of the actual cathedral; I got the sense that this was a secondary, inner, chapel, built to be inside the cathedral itself. We got on the rooftop simply, because the grassy terrain ramped up to it, I recall. It's all leafy and there's lots of Autumn-coloured leaves on top, a contrast to the green grasses from earlier. I remember stepping on the leaves and feeling them under my boots, which made me more aware of what I was wearing. I remember walking over and maybe stepping on a dead sapling that was growing here. Its wood was dark and bendy.

Somehow it's a truly beautiful area and scene but I don't think or realise this in the dream.

As we get near the opposite end I become concerned and tell everyone to stop. The roof slopes down more quickly ahead and there are no leaves. I start to realise the danger of being on a roof more than before. I tell H, "there are no tiles here, we'll slip right off". So in agreement we start to walk back. I had thoughts of the kid falling and didn't want to feel responsible should something happen, but I also think about how the parent/grandparent would feel should such a thing happen.

At this point my fear of heights seems to kick in a little and I stick more toward the inner edge, where there's a vertical structure jutting out the middle of the roof; I step up on a stone ledge of sorts and as I keep walking back with a tight grip on some stone stuff, I start to realise there had been a music playing for quite some time, in a quick crescendo now. I could hear a jackdaw or crow cawing for the same amount of time too. These sounds were immensely beautiful and as they became more and more vivid I eventually woke up.

Dream Fragment:

Only made brief notes of this one. Dream about visiting a therapist to treat some narcolepsy (that I do not suffer from in real life). I basically kept falling asleep throughout this dream and having different dreams within the dream. In the last part, there was some joint therapy dream thing about recognising that I was asleep, and we had a timed round to shoot enemies and shoot their limbs off with guns.

Then an old skeleton is under some bushes or canopy on some grass. It was Kerrigan's skeleton? The front of the skull was missing or smashed, but some of the lower jaw mandible was intact. Someone took off what was the bones of a tail part of the skeleton and then I or someone else tossed the full skeleton towards someone, Sol, I think? She suddenly had to go though, and we all criticised her for doing this every time.

Scraps:

- A small Spartan-like nation? They had a strong military that seemed American in some sense and they were testing some nuclear weapons and special bullets. It was sunny. Lots of concrete structures.

---

Notes:
- There sure is a lot to make note of here, and I didn't even record all the detail of the first dream fully, it would have taken me too long and most of it is ultimately filler in some sense. But I greatly enjoyed that dream's experience.
- I probably remembered scraps of at least five long dreams in total, but all dreams were fairly vivid. They also all felt like they changed very quickly.

- In a between-period of sleeping and not sleeping after my initial waking up, I tried to focus my mind on drawing but did not have any dreams relating to that or art in general.

- The children following us were both boys, probably between the ages of 6-10. I don't remember having a great look at them, mostly because they followed us from behind most of the time.
- This first dream is the longest dream sequence I have dreamt of for quite a long time now.

- In the second dream, the skeleton was whole, all joined together, something that I know in waking life is impossible except if it had been put together as a museum piece of some kind. The bones were particularly yellowed and somewhat pitted.
- The guns/shooting thing probably came about from playing KF quite a bit with H lately.
- The weapons-testing in the scraps dream likely came about from a general enjoyment of controlled loud noises and explosions (despite their dangers and harmful nature).

- The therapist figure seems to be recurring a little recently. I think it's part is an inner representation of a guide because I have often sought help from therapists for guidance with the psychological side of life and because I've had some good ones, I suppose I feel on some level that they can be very useful guides, even when they say things I'm not happy with or don't agree with.
- This type of figure is also ironically likely to be the antithesis of my frustrations with healthcare systems; these dream therapists actually care about me and there is no payment or any such thing involved, there is a genuine feel of interest in helping me as if they were devoted to that.
- The narcolepsy and the falling asleep thing may have been subconscious cues about dreaming reality.

Subnautica-like dream
I am in some sort of very dark abandoned hospital, nearly everything made out of stainless steel, even floor and walls, with no sign of decoration or anything else that would make one feel in any way happy, or even at all positive. There's blood everywhere, and it's too silent. I walk through it, and I think I discover another person.

Next thing I remember is looking for something outside in the water in a small submarine, like the seamoth, in some sort of kelp biome reminiscent of Subnautica, but different. I get whatever it was that I was looking for and go back to some sort of base, which you enter by going under a sort of large hydraulic opening which opens as you approach it, and you go through to the surface of the water, and it closes again, and you are inside and can swim a few meters to dry land. There were other people, and we were working on something.

Then, the next thing we do is go to some exceedingly exceedingly large cave, in which a creature just a bit smaller lives. It's literally many many kilometers large and we do some sort of research mission. Then I wake up.

During the entire dream I felt really curious and excited, and in the hospital part very disturbed, hence the title.

Otherworldly computer chip adventure
I am in Subnautica, and some option I accidentally selected transports me to the void, there might even have been a ghost leviathan already spawned. I panic and press another button and it sends me to the Aurora and again I panic since suddenly there's a reaper leviathan.

Then, the scene changes to me and a younger version of a guy I know, Ethan, in some place I can't discern. I can only see that there's the eponymous computer chip and another object, possibly also computer related. I take the computer chip, and Ethan and I suddenly travel through a little tunnel in the chip to some more degenerated version of reality. I find out that it does just that, it's supposed to. I travel through it again and see a sort of weird sea creature from the perspective of the sky.

Suddenly, I am in the living room of my waking home and open the cupboard of my father. The scene might have changed slightly so that the cupboard and I are standing in a cafe. In any case there was some sort of woman, maybe my mother, and if the cafe existed she was co-owner with me. I pulled the chip out of the cupboard and we travelled to a sort of grassy plains area. Now the purpose of the chip was simply to travel to another dimension and back. We walked around a bit, and not even ten seconds after that she suddenly found a large, beautiful diamond. We were very happy and returned. We suddenly then had lots of money to spend and did so. I don't remember how, though.

Chemistry?
I might have done something relating to chemistry.

Date of Dream: SUN 26 JUL - 2020



Dream No. 697 - Separated Sections

Dream 697 A - Drive Or Stay Home
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, my family were planning on going to a holiday to Apollo Bay. My parents were discussing arrangements at the time such as who was going to drive there. It was supposedly going to be a long drive, so I suggested that I drive a portion of the way. I said to asked my mum if I could drive down the portion of the major road that was going to be straight, but my dad wasn’t having any of it.

After I failed to get the message through to my dad, my mum tried explaining to him. He kept insisting though that I wasn’t allowed to drive and he said it in a mean and somewhat aggressive way. Though by now, I wanted my way and since my dad kept resisting, I snapped and said that I wasn’t going to go on the holiday with them at all and that I was going to stay home. The dream ended as I walked into the house to begin my home-stay and my parents and brother were getting ready to leave.

Dream 697 B - Kairi's Light
The dream started with me wondering around in my old house. A middle aged Asian lady approached me and brought my attention to some sort of video that Kairi had made to supposedly teach others about her light and its powers. As she suggested for me to watch it, I went over to the sitting room and sat on the couch as the lady set up the video and darkened the room. The rest of the dream was now a sub-scene, which was the actual video, the dream camera now actually immersing me in it rather than playing from the sitting room.

The scene showed Kairi in The Final World and both Sora and Riku were also there with her; all in their KH3 appearances. Also, as the entire scene played, Kairi’s theme was running in the background. Kairi was saying something, insinuating that she used to have different powers but that she chose her current light powers for a reason. She then went to the group. Although they were standing equally apart from each other, it’s like the dream gave the illusion of Sora being in the middle and Riku was off to the side.

And then the dream camera went to a close up of Sora, though I can’t exactly explain what he was doing persay, I think he ended up looking at me, studying me, but I’m not sure. But then the dream panned out again and that’s when Kairi was seen to close her eyes and then peacefully ascend somewhat, with when she was at the highest, she was glowing with all this light. When she descended again, she walked back over to the dream camera again to supposedly communicate with me. She did say more but I forgot what it was that she said. The dream ended after this.



Dream 697 A
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Dream 697 B
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No



This is the second time I have successfully completed a task for a 'dream project' that I have set. I thought since Riku is my current dream guide, and he's from Kingdom Hearts which is a world that seems to have laws of its own, I thought I'd do something to give back to him for helping me pass all my university subjects as well as all the other times he's helped me in-dream. I thought that since the last KH game, Sora has gone missing; so the dream project that I have set is for me to incubate dreams where I may get fictional leads on Sora. The dreams form the 'assignment' component, and then in waking life, I'm going to write an imaginary report on my dream findings which forms the 'exam' component.

For the assignment component, I set six compulsory tasks and one optional task to carry out in dream. The tasks are as follows:
Task 1 - Have Riku take me to Shibuya so I can gauge the area that Sora has to survive in until IRL canon rescue via whatever game they make next.
Task 2 - Conduct a supervised audit on Yozora. 'Supervised audit' meaning that Riku has to be accessible for assistance if Yozora gets bad in the dream.
Task 3 - Get Riku's perspective on his connection with Sora.
Task 4 - Pull Sora for a one-time 1-on-1 meeting with me so I can get his perspective on any matters.
Task 5 - Explore the Destiny Islands to get some leads on Sora's homeworld or something about he himself. Riku can take me or I can go independently.
Task 6 - Conduct an independent audit on Organisation XIII. 'Independent audit' meaning I don't need a dream guide in attendence.
Task 7 (optional) - Get Kairi's perspective on her connection with Sora.

Once again, Task 7 was optional, meaning I wasn't attempting to incubate it in real life, but could execute it if I stumbled upon it in a dream, which is what happened last night (this morning actually; the sun was up when I woke up and fell back asleep).

So far I have completed Task 5 (Dream 693 C) and Task 7 (Dream 697 B). I still have 5 tasks (1, 2, 3, 4 and 6) to go before I write up the paper which I have given myself the imaginary rule of two days to write 'till it's due. The two days will be set once all 7 tasks have been completed.

Lastly, although Riku was in the scene, I have not declared him as a dream guide here, because this felt like it was Kairi's spotlight and Riku was such an insignificant part of it, so much so that he didn't even shudder or speak.

Date of Dream: WED 22 JUL - 2020



Dream No. 693 - Separated Sections

Dream 693 A - Call Security
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I had come back from shopping for something at Dandenong Plaza. I was now at home and was somehow in my parents’ bed. I was going to get in to have a lie down with Riku (in his KH3 appearance). However, my dad got in between us and was being very annoying. There was a digital clock in the room with a weird set of numbers and every time that went off, my dad would harass me to wake up and would not let me have a moment with Riku.

Eventually, I ended up calling out these various 5 or 6 digit numbers, making the threat to my dad that I was calling security. Every time I called out one of these numbers, he’d stop what he was doing and leave the room, but it wasn’t effective at all as he’d come back almost immediately. The dream morphed into us being in my bedroom and my dad was being annoying again. I remember this being the last ‘security’ number I called out. Also, Riku was partially distorted for this whole dream and just as Riku was finally about to ‘un-distort’, the dream forced a wake up on me.

Dream No. 693 B - Royal Melbourne Lies
I don’t remember how this dream started. From where I do remember, I was initially at the Royal Melbourne show with my mum, checking out all the various attractions. It was only a short while before one of the grounds staff members came and took her away as it were. Unbeknown to me, she was actually working at the show. I ended up speaking to Jasmine’s sister who was also working at the show but specifically with the horses. She said that if I came back at 11:00 AM, my mum would be done.

The dream scene then shifted to me being in an actual part of the Melbourne CBD and I was wondering around until it was time for me to go back to the Royal Melbourne Show. However, I wasn’t even back yet and I realised that they were keeping my mum for longer than they had said; she was basically their workhorse now. I now had to make my way there in order to get my mum back. Not only was I cross at the officials for keeping her, but being on my own seemed to make me feel somewhat scared and insecure. I feel like I needed help and so while still in the CBD, I went to look for a dream guide.

Just outside the train station, Riku ended up coming (in his KH3 appearance). I have entirely forgotten how he was summoned and how he came. Riku had a cool, casual, and fun temperament, but by his energy, I also knew he could tell that I was scared. The dream still had a while to go but Riku never let me out of his sight and always stuck close by for the rest of the dream, as if he was fulfilling the role of a mother.

It then became the scene where I was due to take the train to get back to the showgrounds and only in this scene was Riku seemingly not present. Rather than an actual train, the dream seemed to make me fly low across these railway tracks myself, as if I was the train…? However, I saw all these brick walls and various obstacles within the train tunnels and this freaked me out. As I sped towards the obstacles, just as I was about to him them, I thought, ‘if I hit them I’ll die!’. The time came and I hit a brick wall with high speed but I was not affected AT ALL and rather the brick wall itself crumbled apart. I was now on the other side, continuing the show, I thought ‘how could this be?’, but then I remembered that although not visible, Riku was still with me and so he must have protected me and made me cause impact to the wall instead of the opposite way around.

I got to the showgrounds and Riku was physically human again, now holding my hand and letting me take him wherever I wanted to go. It almost felt like I was now attending the show with the boyfriend I never had IRL. Riku was still able to ‘mother’ me and protect me while laughing at various things we ended up talking about as well as looked at the attractions I pointed him to. We came to a pavilion with all these carnival games and prizes, the most significant one I remember was the ball in the clowns’ mouth game.

While we were there, I looked down and I seemed to have all these laminated cutouts neatly ordered in my hands. There were four of each of my dream guides; (from left to right) of Riku, 18-Volt, and Dreamy WB. Riku’s were of his default KH3 pose. 18-Volt’s hair was bizarrely ‘too black’ but his skin was ‘too pale’. Dreamy WB seemed to have her OCT 2016 school uniform appearance with the two braids. It felt as if these cutouts were a part of the carnival game prizes, like a ‘collectors edition’ as it were.

I was then back to talking with the real Riku and making him laugh. After going to some more attractions on the fairgrounds with him having his arm around me, the dream ended.

Dream No. 693 C - The Destiny Islands
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I seemed to be at the Kingdom Hearts Destiny Islands myself. I didn’t necessarily spend too much time there. As I wondered from the coast with clear blue water and skies, I ended up seeing all this ‘dark, blue/purple’ crystal fissure-y stuff embedded into the cliffs. I decided to walk in the direction to see what it was about and as I kept walking, the rocks were all saturated with that crystal stuff, as if it were turning into the Realm of Darkness.

However, I saw the other-side of the cliffs and made a realisation. I noticed I had ended up in a dry, barren, somewhat polluted dessert and came to the realisation that this was the wastelands from Jak 3. I remember that I had only walked in from the Destiny Islands though, so I this was not another dimension. I thought to myself ‘the sky is connected’. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream 693 A
Dream Guide: Riku
Lucid?: No

Dream 693 B
Dream Guide: Riku
Lucid?: No

Dream 693 C
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No