non-lucid

Shape fragment
I see a shape, possibly a line or deformed line of some color, maybe white.

Mixed fragment
I am some girl, probably in the teens, and I might somewhat have the role of Buffy from Buffy the vampire slayer, but in the dream I hadn't discovered that yet. There was something with a father who might have done something bad with someone he keeps calling. At some point I am together in some forest or jungle with another girl, having discovered my role. At some point my view flew into the sky, as if it was in a game and it was showing that something is happening.

---

I really need to get aware again, right as I got a bit less aware I stopped having lucid dreams so it's time to do that again. It's just a bit hard for me to remember where I was 15 minutes ago when I reality check, so I get stressed since I need to do it often as well.

Jamie 1

Just a flash of her putting a parcel together. Is she going to send me something?

Jamie 2

Being on a street during the day with jamie and she is being distant saying she is looking for another boyfriend... Wait I thought she wanted to get married. I'm still waiting, pining and hoping. But she doesn't reach out to me at all.... If I wing up marrying someone else, it's because I had to settle for someone else under duress... anyway i see she is on a dating website. She then messages me through the site saying "LUV U!!!" I swear at times she is two separate people...

I'm still waiting for that message for real tho.

Person fragment
There was some person, I see some red, maybe a shirt, maybe at my home. Maybe the person was kidnapped at some point in the dream plot.

Last catch up entry for today I think.

23rd June 2020

Fragment:

Remember seeing Discord. I had been removed from the Nx server, as it was no longer on the list. My friends looked shorter too. I soon realised A wasn't on the list anymore and I presumed I'd been removed from their friends list. I checked my Steam friends list and saw the same again.

In the dream I remember thinking this was unsurprising, but all the same, disappointing. It made me feel as though I'd been used, and made irrelevant past a certain point.

---

Notes:
- This part of whatever dream it was from surely came about as part of my emotional processing of a few things, but primarily from a wariness so as to not let myself be lied to or used.
- In the dream I think there was some subtext of libel against me.

22nd June 2020

Dream:

Me and H were walking along a narrow countryside road, surrounded by hedges. At one point, instead of hedges there's a house. It looks moderate in size. The dream immediately establishes somehow that it was the house of our waking life neighbours, the old couple.

I just want to go past the house though, and continue on our journey. It's a humid but fresh morning and the light looks beautiful, I have a vague memory of the sun still being fairly low but high enough that it's quite bright.

H becomes distracted by the house, at first staring at some of the sandstone that makes up the house walls. Then looking in through the windows. This makes me feel uneasy. Through the first window, which looks to be tinted in some way, I see a Pioneer turntable, a silver one. We walk a few paces forward at last, but then H stops again. I turn around and I see a big cabinet style turntable station. It's sitting outside the house, directly against the wall but in the dream it still seems like it's inside the house too somehow.

It's mostly a silver Pioneer unit again. I manage to read a model number. LP-PL13. I point it out to H and he seems uninterested. We keep walking? But then we get inside the house somehow and it looks like a mix of what I know our neighbour's house to actually be like inside plus our own current home and my old home. I soon begin to wonder how their house could look so much bigger on the inside, seeing as they should be terraced houses, not realising the terrible irony that the house had initially presented itself as a detached home in the countryside.

We go through a few rooms, both wondering if the old couple is home. Their home is beautifully organised and in this version presents itself with a lot of Hi-Fi equipment. At one point I remark they seem to like Pioneer's stuff as much as H. There was mostly silver "era" stuff.

Eventually we end up in what I can only call a storage corridor. It would be dark if it weren't for two cold but bright fluorescent tubes. The corridor feels narrow only because there are metal storage shelving units to either side and they're full of stuff, mostly electronics.

I make note of a few older CRT television sets. One is a Mitsubishi and it's medium in size. Then as we continue along I remark on some of the stuff but I can't remember what I said or what H replied.

At the end of the corridor it forks, on the left is the master room for the old couple. I didn't look to see what was to the right.

At some point before this, I remember the neighbour sees us from a room? And tentatively says hello and we reply with a short hi ourselves. Now, his wife is laying in bed but looks at us too. Her husband appears I think and they ask something of us? They want us to read over some document they've written.

We are now in a living room like the one at my old home but with different decor. We sit at the dining table which has the document on it. It's only some three pages long but double sided. There's only one copy. H reads a bit of it first, then I read some of it. It's some kind of invitation for something, an event? for a club. It starts out with a page-long poem or some such. Something about Napoleon and war comes up. The text seemed consistent in the dream but I can't help but wonder if turning over the pages was making it change.

I wake up shortly after this.

---

Notes:
- The house felt immense inside, although the ceiling height was probably much lower than it actually would have been if it was actually ours or our neighbours' home.
- The house felt like a well imagined mix of our home and theirs, as ours is quite disorganised but does have a lot of electronics about, and theirs is very well organised and also uncluttered, really.
- It's interesting that I make note of the makes of things a lot more often now, even in dreams. I don't seem to recall doing that so much even just a few years ago and I'd say that living with H has been a good part of this change.
- I remember the natural light inside the house was more like my old home. Lots of dark/bright contrasts.

21st June 2020

Fragment:

My phone needed charging and I was at home with H. I went to get a charger for my phone and plugged it in; there was arcing/sparking and a flash.

I opened the back of the phone and took the cable off it and saw that the battery had bulged slightly in one place. And the cable specs said it provided 2.9v rather than what it supposedly needed, 5v.

Fragment:

Some bit around my home town. I'm in the car, with mom and dad. Mom complains about being nearly 11:30 even though the dash says 10:30. Mom was complaining because we had to be there (at the destination?) and my siblings weren't ready or in the car with us yet.

Dad took us to some cafe, or restaurant? Near where the pools in my old home town are.

Fragment:

In the kitchen at our current home. I was going to take codeine, but it had been prescribed for something other than pain, like allergies?

---

Notes:
- The part in the car with mom and dad is a typical scenario that might happen when we all still lived together, when I was a kid/teen.
- At the time I'm making these notes (10th of August), I am on medication that means that I can't take codeine too; this would probably be a good cue for RCing since I know it would be dangerous to actually take the codeine currently.

14th June 2020

Dream Fragment:

In some altered version of our house, with H. I remember a greenhouse of sorts around back, it was dark.

Transition? Another scene, still same area. Me and H walking around and there's this Polish lady and in the dream she is a neighbour of ours. She has a kid or two, and a husband who is away at the moment.

We hear her talk in her native language to her child, who is indoors. She's sitting on a dark grey fibreglass chair outside, our garden areas are apparently joined together. Her house isn't lined up straight with ours though, it's set further back, so the door leading inside her house from the "back" is technically on the side of her house, not the front or back.

I remember we spoke to her, she wanted something, like something done for her or fixed for her perhaps.

---

Notes:
- In the dream I remember that my knowledge about her family was simply intuitive, as if we'd known the family casually for years.
- While I don't really remember the lady's appearance or her children's appearance, I have the feeling she had black, tied-back hair. This fits some character archetype my dream mind keeps constructing from time to time.

- I am recalling, having written the above note, that I had a short-term friend (Ca) when I was a kid, who sort of matched this description; she was particularly tall despite being about the same age but she did get some abuse from other kids for that, since kids always find ways of being mean. I remember for a few years I'd always been a bit sad we didn't stay in touch or remain friends since we didn't stay in touch, but to be honest at some point I just don't even remember seeing her anymore, despite the fact that my home town was fairly condensed and most people knew each other in some vague way at the very least. During my childhood she was one of few girls with whom I got along with quite well.

- I think my dream mind likes to feature different families with children of their own as a window into what that life might be like.
- The backyard, oddly enough, was actually grassy, unlike the concrete backyard we do have at our current home.

9th June 2020

Catching up on DJ again.

Dream:

(last part, my original notes sort of start at the end but cycle back to this point in some way)

Was in a WoW-like game or reality. There was this nest on a cliff I had to reach from this insanely long ladder along another cliff face. I wasn't sure how high I had to climb before I'd be able to make the jump towards the nest.

At some point I jumped and I remember sort of gliding a bit, eventually reaching the nest. I remember noticing a book covered in twigs and small bones. I looked this up on a popular WoW database to read comments on either the book or this location. Then I wiped it clean (from what? dust?) but don't recall what happened after that.

Some guy riding a bear mount? Not sure. Then I remember myself, taking off the ground on a nether drake. I flew up a bit but not that much. There were Shattrath guards following after me through a forest that was not like Terokkar next to the city. The guards were throwing hammers of wrath at me as they pursued, most hitting me but doing little damage although this was whittling my health points away.

I knew we were still in the Outlands because there was a cliff's edge, and nothing but void beyond and below; I remember the characteristic Nagrand-like sky. I rode my drake over this threshold of sorts and from past the edge, looped under the floating land mass, hiding there with my drake in some sort of underground cave area...

I saw blood elves fly over and away on their bloodhawks toward the endless horizon and void. The distraction worked and I lost them. Then I left the bottomless "cave" underground and went much higher than before. Something was happening and a massive black dragon was appearing and the sky also dramatically changed to darkness and red tones. There was some NPC shouting something, but I don't remember what. I remember having passing thoughts about Deathwing and Alextstraza and how they looked feral with their "old/out of date" models.

Then I remember flying toward the dragon and at some point jumping off the back of my drake and landing on a platform (on the dragon?). There, I found blocks like in Boundless. Interesting patterned blocks, like mosaic and celtic twist patterns on stone and they had red and black colour schemes. I began to "vein mine" the blocks the vein mining technique eventually stopped working and so I gave up on harvesting these interesting blocks.

The next part I remember, I had ended up on a red dragon's back. We fly over mountains and cliffs and from here I spot the nest and jump off, gliding through the air somehow and trying to land on the nest. Instead, the winds lead me to the ladder.

---

Notes:
- I think it was in this dream; the area in which I found the bear mount rider was something like the WoW zone Grizzly Hills, with tall pine-like trees.
- The way my original notes were made have altered my memory of how the dream's chronology worked out but at the same time it has created a nearly perfect cyclical flow of the dream which did lead me to remembering details I otherwise may not have recalled that morning.
- The black dragon may have appeared before I thought of Deathwing, but I believe the two would have come in tandem regardless of which appeared first.
- This dream involved a lot of flying or gliding and basically high altitude locations with little solid ground to speak of. In the dream and game worlds I don't typically ever have a fear of heights, despite the fact that in reality they make me feel uncomfortable as I become highly aware that a mistake could cost me, fatally so even.
- Over the last few months I have had passing thoughts of the Burning Crusade and about nether drakes, so this dream probably came about as a materialisation of that or as a self-feeding experience.

Will be trying to update here more frequently. I've really been neglecting the opportunity that COVID has given me to up my dream game and be more diligent with journaling. So let's change that!

20200801 (3nl)

1. swamp monster hunters consulting gypsies and bringing along journalist woman (she smelled?); in the woods skinny tweaker methheads interacting with big gnarled ginger root woody monsters, white van parked with headlights; in the stream, small monster with big nose - gypsies confirmed it's the worst one
This was a pretty memorable dream as far as the visuals and emotions. It was actually narrated, and sort of felt like an episode of True Detective (S1) with the lighting and "cinematography" if I can put it that way.

2. before this, downton abbey style old house family drama

3. shopping mall or false memory?

Being a guardian wolf
I am some sort of wolf, and I am there to protect Snow White from once upon a time at some sort of warehouse. Something attacks. At some point I see myself in third person. I might have two different eye colors it seems, and I am in a sort of lurking pose. I might later be hurt.

A very strange girl
A girl is sort of really insane. Maybe she isn't even human. Maybe she even kidnapped me. It might be in some other world, but it definitely is very strange and has a strange feeling associated to how the world works. She at some point wants to do something really strange like building a cocoon..? And at some point she might have sent me into another world or something, maybe restaurant related. In the end she tries to stab me and we are suddenly in the hallway of my home, and then I try and choke her and she is suddenly a cat.

Meeting an almighty person
There is some like almighty person with questionable morals, like with all the dark ones from Once Upon a Time. At first I think I was just a spectator. Later, I had something which had some sort of smell in my home, but my father told me that if some family under our home smelt it I'd get problems with this dark almighty person, so I got scared and thought about quickly running down the staircase into the garden, but was worried if they would smell it as I ran past. Then the dark guy was somewhere with me, and I remember me trying to not show fear, and he commented on that, and I say "Of course I'm scared of you."
Then it was showing why he was evil and it was like he married a woman, but then she died and then it became nonsensical and it showed his wife comforting him about her own death.

Fragment
Something was going on, which I don't remember anymore.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In Alhandra, helping out an old lady cross the road. Then go to mom's and all the neighbors are at her door because she met Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, who are in Portugal to start a charity. They organized a cookie sale and somehow my mom got involved. For some reason I make plans to seduce Tom Hanks. On one hand I think I don't want to mess with his marriage, as they are a lovely couple, but on the other hand it is stronger than me. So I start applying my subtle charm on him. There is a fundraising lunch and my uncle Francisco is there and chokes on something. Tom goes to the rescue but I am not sure he made it.

Get to a Japanese handmade clothing shop. I've heard wonders about their avant-garde kimonos. I check their catalogue but it is mostly knitted stuff and non of those kimonos. Some girl to my side is really enthusiastic about it, so I hand it over to her and go check instead a chariot they have by the wall with painted banners and dresses. I fall in love with a banner with kanji symbols and a Japanese woman and which reads on top "aqui há gato" (literal translation; there's a cat in here; meaning: something's fishy). I feel it would look awesome on my living room wall. Then they also have long hand painted dresses and I am going crazy for them. I pick one to try out and want to check the rest of them, but some other girls take over and disappear with all the dresses, leaving only cosplay outfits.

A meeting with my manipulative friend fragment
My father has already opened the door after the doorbell rang and my manipulative friend is there and I quickly put a sentence together. The sentence might be an apology to him, something I am trying to prevent myself doing.

Finding treasure in my house
I and my father helped some dangerous looking guy with dark skin. He sort of reminds of some guy I knew once, Darren. He wants to find some sort of treasure. At some point he might have had other people helping him, but in the end he was alone with us. The house was somewhat weirdly structured. We were searching around the door to the garden. There is lots of things on the wall you could climb on, and lots you could miss. In the end he finds it and tells us to leave. But I sort of knock him out and find it as well but he woke up again and I run up the stairs towards home. Then one of his partners comes along and says something along the lines of "What do you think you're doing up here, hm?" but I say something like "Of course I can be here, I live up here!" and they say something like "Yeah yeah..." and leave, going down quickly. And then I hear my father talking to the guy from the beginning to distract him so that I can get the treasure. But I notice that the guy would be facing me and that he might notice me anyway because he could hear me so I didn't take the chance. Then I went outside and then ran in and just tried to get the treasure, but he stopped me. I thought about saying that he'd get half, but I didn't know how much the treasure even was worth. I also thought about just knocking him out again, but I thought I wouldn't be strong enough.

---

This was after multiple MILD attempts. I woke up multiple times throughout the night and tried to do a MILD nearly every time. Because I woke up often, there were probably some WBTBs.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am a male knight on my property with my family. A group attacks our house, I can't help my wife there, as I am at some annexes with our servants and holding our baby, whom they are after. I escape through a tunnel that my servants help camouflage. I get out at some building that looks like a middle eastern hotel.

I help a gay activist not to be arrested and I get arrested instead. My mom helps me escape by asking to escort me to the bathroom which is upstairs from the cell floor. They allow. The only way to escape is by jumping out of the window. She is scared and tells me to do it alone. But I don't want to leave without her, so I realize we are dreaming and I tell her it's just a dream. Since the cops are coming after us, I grab her and I cross the wall and bring her with me. It works, on the other side is our old house and some family members are there, looking much younger or back from the dead. My dad, my maternal grandparents, my auntie and great-grandmother with full black hair. They recognize my mom but not me. I wonder if she would like to stay here.